0:01

Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa

0:03

Barakatuhu. This Ramadan,

0:05

we at Qalam are working to

0:07

support the Human Development Fund in

0:10

their One Ummah, One Plate Global

0:12

Iftar campaign. Their

0:14

mission extends beyond borders, reaching families

0:16

in need across Africa, the Middle

0:18

East, and Asia. Countless

0:21

families in those regions, including refugees

0:23

and the improvists, struggle daily for

0:25

basic nourishment. Just

0:27

to your assistance, there are teams

0:30

on the ground providing essential food

0:32

packages to families in countries like

0:34

Kenya, Yemen, Somalia, Gaza, Pakistan, and

0:36

more. Ramadan should

0:38

be a time of peace and reflection, not

0:41

hunger and hardship. HDF

0:43

is dedicated to providing daily Iftars

0:45

and food packages to families, each

0:47

designed to sustain them for the

0:49

month of Ramadan. This

0:52

act of kindness has the power to multiply

0:54

the reward of your own fasting. And

0:57

much more than temporary relief, it's

1:00

a step towards breaking the cycle

1:02

of hunger and poverty. This

1:04

is your Ummah in need of your support.

1:07

Please visit hdfund.org to learn

1:10

more about our global Reach

1:12

This Ramadan and choose where

1:14

you'd like to direct your

1:17

support this Blessed Month. Assalamu

1:20

Alaikum. You're

1:27

listening to the Qalam Institute podcast, Companions

1:29

of the Quran. This Ramadan,

1:32

Qalam is committed to provide

1:34

education and programs to

1:36

all aspects of our local community, as well

1:38

as across the world. To

1:40

help in this effort and invest in your Saudi

1:42

Qajariya, visit supportqalam.com and

1:44

help us expand our efforts.

1:47

JazakAllah Khayy and thank you

1:49

for your continued support. As-salamu

1:51

Alaikum. Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem. Alhamdulillah.

1:55

Alhamdulillah. Wa Kafa wa salaam wa naa. Lava.

2:01

Has. Also not as a good little city

2:03

will hurt them m a lotta I

2:05

live in a skier was hobby hit

2:07

at the up am about. Every

2:15

family should have a dream and

2:17

desire. That. They

2:19

raised. At. They raised with

2:22

in there was children. Who.

2:24

Will be the carriers have a for on.

2:28

Arson. And are the ones that carry. The.

2:31

Word of a loss of hunt of mourtada. To

2:34

the next synergies. For.

2:36

This is a tradition of Islam. Every.

2:39

Generation took this a mana and gave it to

2:41

the next. And. Then they gave

2:43

it to the one after that. Today.

2:45

We have that very same responsibility.

2:49

That we encourage.

2:52

Those. That are with in our

2:55

homes to build their personal style

2:57

of and relationship with Book on.

3:01

There. Are different ways to cheat

3:03

and educate. Sometimes.

3:05

We. Rely. Too much

3:07

on our words. That. If I

3:10

say something. The other person will

3:12

implement it. Words. Have

3:14

their place in education, setting

3:16

a standard, developing an environment,

3:19

But. Greater than words or

3:22

actions. When. You

3:24

lead through your actions. people will see.

3:26

You won't have to even say much.

3:29

They will follow you. This.

3:31

Is the power of and will swap a role

3:33

model. We're. Always looking for

3:35

all models from a young age every child

3:37

is looking for. Life.

3:40

And Guidance Strength

3:42

Intelligence. With

3:44

in their own family members and particularly the look

3:46

at their mom and Dad before anyone. That

3:49

How does my father carry himself? How

3:51

does my mother carry herself? On.

3:54

One side of we tell our family members

3:56

build a relationship with the for on. But

3:58

on the other hand, we don't

4:01

have a positive relationship with the

4:03

Quran, how will they go on

4:05

to inherit that legacy? We

4:08

turn to the Surah Allah, Surah Allahu alayhi wa

4:10

salam and we see the Prophet of Allah was

4:12

so positive in his messaging. Many

4:14

of us grew up in households where the

4:17

Quran was used as a punishing tool,

4:20

when if we didn't do what we were supposed to do,

4:23

our parents would at times say, okay punishment for

4:25

you is going to read the Quran, or

4:28

if they made a promise to us that you know do

4:30

this, accomplish

4:33

this much of a goal in the Quran and

4:35

we will reward you this way, when

4:37

it came time for rewarding they didn't show up,

4:40

showing us that the Quran was just something to

4:42

keep us occupied with, something to keep

4:44

us busy with. It's as

4:46

if those parents were shedding a

4:49

guilty conscience they had of not

4:51

building that personal relationship themselves onto

4:53

their children, that I didn't have

4:56

it so now you better do it. We

4:58

break them into the Quran rather

5:00

than softly molding them into the

5:03

Quran. Sayyidina Anasim

5:05

alaikum of the Allahu Anhuan talks about the mentorship

5:07

of Rasulullah, Surah Allahu alayhi wa salam, that

5:10

in the years that he was with the Prophet

5:12

of Allah, 10 years the Prophet of Allah

5:14

never scolded him, he didn't

5:16

shout at him, he didn't strike him. He

5:19

turned to parents and asked them, why are you

5:21

so harsh with your children when it comes to

5:23

the Quran, they say because the children don't know

5:25

any other language, we have to hit them, we

5:27

have to scold them, we have to shout at

5:30

them, if I don't raise my voice how are

5:32

they gonna read the Quran. Well

5:34

ask yourself is that the relationship that you

5:36

want with your own child, how

5:38

will that reflect their connection

5:40

with the Quran, when they

5:42

think of the Quran they're gonna think of a

5:44

grumpy mother and father who was just really angry

5:47

and mad and didn't care about how they felt

5:49

in the process, who stopped paying

5:51

attention to the individual at the center that

5:53

was struggling, struggling not

5:55

only with memorizing the Quran but possibly struggling

5:57

with life, possibly at

6:00

school, possibly struggling with their own

6:02

relationship with their parents and now the Quran

6:04

is being used as a cover to push

6:06

them along life. We

6:10

must build a good relationship with our own

6:12

children. When we

6:14

speak about the Quran, use a soft tone. Don't

6:17

raise your voice. Don't be angry. Fight

6:19

your urge. And the same goes at

6:21

Salah. Shouting at your children that

6:23

it's Salah time is not going to motivate them

6:25

to praise Salah. Rather, it'll turn

6:27

them away. Look

6:29

at the Prophet ﷺ not in one

6:32

instance throughout his life. Rasulullah

6:35

ﷺ was the

6:37

most soft and kind with people in

6:39

their times of struggle. One

6:41

Sahabi prays Salah behind the Prophet of Allah

6:43

ﷺ and he sneezes. And

6:49

everyone's silent. It's prayer time. No one's going to

6:51

say anything. So in prayer out

6:53

loud he says, Allah

6:56

ﷺ says,

6:59

O Allah, shower your mercy upon me and the Prophet

7:01

and no one else. Everyone's

7:04

silent. First of all, you're not supposed to talk in

7:06

Salah. And secondly, if you do, why say such a

7:08

thing? What about all the other Muslims here?

7:11

After Salah was over, the Prophet ﷺ asked, who said this? So

7:16

the man identified himself. Think

7:19

about our circumstance, our communities, our

7:21

families. We would rush

7:23

in scolding that person, shouting at them,

7:25

punishing them, make them hold their ears,

7:27

humiliate them, possibly strike them, you know,

7:29

maybe use foul words towards them. Rasulullah

7:33

ﷺ responds, Laka

7:35

bhajjardawasya. You have narrowed down

7:37

such a vast pool of Allah's mercy just for the

7:39

two of us. The

7:41

Prophet ﷺ was kind. And

7:44

that's what caused the hearts of people to be

7:46

inclined towards him. We

7:48

have the selective kindness that outside the home,

7:51

we are very kind. You go

7:53

to a person's workplace, they describe

7:55

the person as being perfect, amazing

7:57

character, smiling, always available, always present.

8:00

I send him a text message, he responds right away. This

8:03

person is full of kindness

8:05

and good words, but then you turn to their

8:07

own children, and specifically those

8:10

children that you're working on building your relationship

8:12

with the Quran, and they are

8:14

the ones that are crushing under the rock of pressure

8:16

of life. Who is there to help them?

8:19

The parent's job isn't to break their child,

8:21

the parent's job is to lift their child,

8:24

to work with them. How many

8:26

children do we know, unfortunately, that have

8:29

memorized the Quran, because their parents pushed

8:31

them at a young age, and later

8:33

on in their life, everyone regretted that

8:35

journey. Because those children,

8:37

not only did they become distant from their parents,

8:40

but they also became distant from the very

8:42

same Quran. And

8:44

then unfortunately, the sorrow in

8:46

all of this is, and

8:49

this I've seen with my eyes, those children

8:51

grow up and they repeat it all over again. They

8:54

assume that this is how it's supposed to

8:56

be. When I hold over a quote, a

8:58

labilla, I'll share with you a narration,

9:00

narrated by a man behind a lot of L.A. Any

9:03

mama, speaking of the L.A. Familiar

9:05

been hoedecoradi Allahu an. On

9:07

a tenor of sort of L.A. He was

9:09

selling one of new Shabbabah to the Mutukari moon.

9:13

He says that we were a group

9:15

of people that arrived in Medina, when everyone

9:17

was young, we were all almost the same

9:19

age. For a commoner in the whole of shirina,

9:22

they let them. And we spent

9:24

20 days in the company of Rasulullah S.A.

9:28

Waqana Rasulullah S.A. Wa-salam,

9:30

rahiman rafiqan. We

9:34

spent 20 days with the Prophet of Allah, young people.

9:36

The Prophet S.A. Was very

9:39

compassionate and gentle. Falamma,

9:42

wannana, anna, qat iqshtaqna, ahalana.

9:45

When the Prophet S.A. Notice that

9:47

we were missing our family members. 20

9:49

days later, you miss your mom,

9:51

miss your dad, miss your spouse, miss your siblings.

9:55

The Prophet S.A. Wasallam asked

9:57

us. Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Tell

10:00

us me about the people that you left at home. Tell

10:02

me about your people. Faaq bar-nahu, we

10:04

give all the details to the Surah SallAllahu

10:06

Alaihi Wasallam. Kala irajiroo

10:09

ila ahalikum fatiemu fihin

10:11

wa'alimuhum wa muruhum wa

10:14

sallu kamara'a'itumun yu sallid.

10:17

Go back to your families. It's time for you to go

10:19

home. Spend time with them, be

10:21

with them, teach them, and command them to do

10:23

good. And pray as you

10:25

saw me praying in front of you.

10:29

The Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam wanted them to

10:31

take this compassion, this love, and

10:33

go back to their communities and spread it to them. And

10:36

the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam's intelligence,

10:40

what kind of teacher and mentor was he,

10:42

that he kept an eye very closely

10:44

on the student. Noticing

10:47

when they were exhausted, when they

10:49

were tired. The teacher and the

10:51

madrassah may add a little extra load on the

10:53

student. Sometimes the student may add a

10:55

little extra load on themself, but

10:57

it's the parent's responsibility to look after the

10:59

child. That if you see your

11:01

child is exhausted, pull them back a little. Take

11:04

them for a walk. If you notice that

11:06

your child is so buried in their studies that they

11:08

haven't had a day or two free or a few

11:11

hours free every day, pull them back a little bit.

11:13

When you show interest in their leisure,

11:16

and when you show that you're interested in playing with

11:18

them and for them to have a good time in

11:20

life, they will then pour back

11:22

dividends in you. But if all you

11:25

want of them is clean the house, if all you want

11:27

of them involves chores

11:29

and responsibilities and command after command

11:31

after command and holding them responsible

11:33

and telling them how horrible they

11:35

are and just lathering the guilt

11:37

on them, then you can't

11:40

expect a positive human being to come out

11:42

of that. The child

11:44

grows up to resent their family. Unfortunately,

11:47

it's quite expected. Raising

11:50

a hafid of the Quran involves

11:53

fixing yourself first. When

11:56

your character is immaculate, When

12:00

your smile radiates love,

12:03

when your presence brings warmth and

12:05

joy to people around you, mark

12:07

my words, your family will fall

12:09

in love with the Quran. But

12:12

you will need to lead them. You will have

12:14

to be the guide. Make

12:17

your messaging clear. That

12:20

memorizing the Quran isn't something that must be

12:22

done in two years, three years. Parents

12:24

start their children off when they're six years old.

12:26

We hear these stories all the time. It's not

12:29

necessary. Not only is it not

12:31

necessary, sometimes it can come at the detriment of the

12:33

child. They're psychology. Memorizing

12:35

the Quran is a very big task. Not

12:38

that it can't be started at a young age. The

12:41

prisars who are having them memorize them some

12:43

smaller chapters of the Quran, helping them develop

12:45

fluency in the Quran. Your

12:47

task is to watch them and see when

12:49

the time is right. And

12:51

for some people that time is right will come

12:53

when they're 10 years old. For

12:56

other children that will be when they're 13 years old. For

12:58

someone that may come when they're 17 years old. Another

13:00

person may be when they're 20 years old. I

13:03

was speaking to a sister who told me this

13:05

week that I'm on the verge of completing my

13:07

memorization of the Quran. And she's

13:09

already married Alhamdulillah. So I asked her, did

13:11

anyone tell you to do this? She said, no, no one told me to do

13:13

it. I just saw the

13:15

relationship my family had with the Quran. And after

13:17

I graduated from my studies, I knew this was

13:19

going to be my next goal. They

13:22

will take a step when the time is

13:24

right, as long as you maintain a good relationship

13:27

and set the stage properly. So

13:30

today, as we discuss another

13:33

discussion and go through another lesson

13:36

on becoming a companion with

13:38

the Quran. We

13:41

turn to how to raise these people. And it starts with

13:43

developing yourself, controlling

13:45

your tongue, developing good

13:47

akhlaq, softening your heart,

13:50

rethinking your approach, toning

13:52

it down a little bit, letting go of some

13:54

of that anger. Bring love to the

13:56

front and your children and the people

13:58

that are in front of you. you will see them fall

14:01

in front of you just to fit

14:03

that mold that you represent. And

14:05

they inshallah will become the

14:07

companions of the Quran. May Allah

14:10

subhanahu wa ta'ala except for Mus'ul.

14:12

Wasallallahu wa ta'ala alaikum wa rahmatullahi

14:14

wa barakatuh.