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Only at SleepNumberStores or sleepnumber.com. This

1:51

series is just weeks away. So what we thought

1:53

we'd do between now and then is give you

1:55

some Steve Bruce content that's never

1:58

been heard before on the main feed. In

2:00

full, here comes chapter one. It will have

2:02

the first few chapters of

2:04

the first Steve Bruce book striker

2:06

over the next few weeks until

2:08

the new series starts. Because as

2:12

promised, lots of subscribers have been asking

2:14

this, will we be finishing the third

2:16

Steve Bruce book? And I can reveal

2:18

on the quickly Kevin fan club, starting

2:20

at the very end of this month,

2:23

we'll be dropping in all the chapters

2:25

necessary to complete the Steve Bruce murder

2:27

mystery trilogy, which is really exciting. Matt

2:29

Ford will be joining us as we

2:32

finish off the Steve

2:34

Bruce Odyssey that we've been on for

2:36

so many years. So enjoy this is

2:38

chapter one. And as I record this

2:40

now, there's just a few tickets left

2:42

for that last show at the London

2:44

Playdoom on Thursday, the 16th of May.

2:46

The link for tickets is in the

2:48

description of this episode. We'd love you

2:50

to be there. We're booking guests for

2:52

that night and it is going to

2:54

be spectacular. We're gonna go out with

2:57

a bang Thursday, 16th of May at

2:59

the London Playdoom. Get your tickets now.

3:01

All right. So here

3:04

we go in full chapter one of

3:06

Striker. What can I say? Just

3:08

enjoy this. Shouldn't

3:10

you be at work? Anderson

3:14

off the line by Wegerley and turned in

3:16

by Bruce. The bracket gets the

3:19

corner in Bruce. Top corner.

3:21

Bruce arriving and Bruce scoring. No,

3:26

it's gonna be Brian Robson. Loading in there. Steve

3:28

Bruce, it's enough. Sharp

3:31

gets another go. 2D, Kai runs and

3:33

Steve Bruce scores. So

3:38

now you'll swing against Steve Bruce and

3:40

Bruce wins it and United are ahead.

3:43

Now you know him better than anybody probably. You're

3:45

back into score 50, yes or no? Yes.

3:49

Oh, it happens. No. No. Hello

3:57

and welcome to quickly Kevin Willheath. score

4:00

it's a Steve Bruce striker

4:02

chapter one special edition I'm

4:04

Chris Gold joining me Josh

4:07

Whitacom and the man

4:09

who is about to pour through 12

4:11

to 14 chapters of the worst

4:13

literary work

4:16

ever created by a premier I'd say

4:18

your inability to find the word really

4:20

sums up what we're about to so

4:27

you I'm sure you're aware before

4:29

if you have subscribed to this

4:31

that we have covered briefly

4:34

it turns out the Steve

4:36

Bruce crime trilogy novels however

4:39

we basically we re-listened to the

4:41

first episode and we didn't

4:43

go we only talked for about 40

4:46

minutes about a book that has so

4:48

many highlights and we wanted

4:50

to revisit it and then we thought surely

4:52

you know this is the most popular thing

4:54

we've ever done the only way to do

4:56

it is to revisit it properly in the

4:58

fullest possible sense so each episode

5:00

we'll be going for a chapter we

5:03

are joined by the original reader of

5:05

the book Ivo Graham we'll

5:07

be going in for a chapter by

5:09

chapter month by month until we've done

5:11

the full trilogy it is a three-year

5:13

project I just got to say

5:15

as well like we when we did

5:17

that we were like we have just burned

5:20

this entire gold mine to the ground yeah

5:22

actually there's so much in there and in

5:24

preparation for this episode I read chapter one

5:26

I was like oh my

5:28

word there is so much more

5:30

in this yeah because Chris and I had never

5:32

read it so we were sort of basing it

5:34

on what you and Ivo had pulled out yeah

5:37

and I was cynical I'll hold my hands up

5:39

when Chris said like we'll do a chapter at

5:41

time I thought I will burn through three chapters

5:43

like quickly no problem no

5:45

I mean in this episode we'll find

5:47

out about Michael writing to a whole

5:49

team to get the signed

5:52

postcards back we would not have had that

5:54

chat without diving deep into this episode we

5:56

will be reading it in full because audio

5:58

books are now the you know,

6:00

they're as popular as they've ever been, by

6:03

which I mean they're more popular than they've ever

6:05

been. And so we'll be going through it, we'll

6:07

be reading it, talking about it as

6:09

we go. If you follow this journey, these

6:11

books are thousands of pounds, there's one for

6:13

6,000 pounds on eBay because it was signed

6:15

by Steve Bruce. This

6:17

is the only place where you can hear all

6:20

of the books in sequence read

6:22

out with us making snow in the side.

6:26

But we get a lot of correspondence about Steve

6:28

Bruce. Where better to cover it than

6:30

in our Steve Bruce only electronic post

6:32

bag. I'm

6:36

Jim Rosenkraut and this is the

6:39

electronic post bag. You've

6:41

got mail. Ryan

6:43

Leviton, now we're talking about poems in

6:45

our Zoom Live show. He's written a

6:48

poem about Steve Barnes called Pride of

6:50

Leggersford. Would you like this poem? Oh

6:52

yes. Yes. Can we have some kind

6:54

of, well, hear the poem and then

6:56

you can judge the music afterwards, Michael,

6:58

and consider whether it's worth any. He

7:06

used to play for Mollcaster, setting the

7:08

offside trap, the greatest centre half in

7:10

England, not to win an England cap.

7:13

Now he's into management and driving an XJ8.

7:16

A promotion push and crimes to serve, he has

7:18

plenty on his plate. Pat

7:20

Duffy's in the changing room, the poor

7:22

lad's lying dead, Eddie Carbury the culprit,

7:24

but Steve Barnes is step ahead. A

7:27

dead janitor discovered Barnes' hands begin

7:29

to clam. A quicksam yielded

7:32

50 years. You've had

7:34

a good spell, Sam. A

7:36

cash-hungry translator with a blatant coup

7:38

for power, while Barnes

7:40

is touring Rio like a letters for

7:42

Jack Bauer. So

7:44

Lawrence is a wealthy man, the bills are racking up

7:47

by now. Another OJ at the

7:49

hotel in a quest to

7:51

find Cabral. A

7:54

trilogy of capers and nostalgic bonanza

7:57

is all elaborate ruse to name

7:59

Jack Steffer. If

8:01

you haven't read the Trinity then you definitely

8:04

should. He may be crass, he

8:06

may be cringe, but he's the pride

8:08

of letters foot. Oh, lovely. And it

8:10

rhymes. Isn't that a lovely start? And it

8:12

rhymes. That is lovely. Bruce your component in

8:14

any poem to me. Absolutely,

8:17

Chris. Loves a rhyming poem. Has

8:20

to rhyme. Has to rhyme. Now,

8:23

there's been a lot of debate over whether

8:25

Steve Bruce wrote the books. We will probably

8:27

come to a conclusion in three years time.

8:30

Although I'm coming round to the idea that he

8:32

did. We've been sent from

8:35

Neil Sorrie a 30 second

8:38

clip of the Back

8:40

of the Net Amazon show in

8:42

which Peter Crouch asks Steve Bruce

8:44

about his writing career. Would you like to

8:46

hear the latest from

8:49

Steve Bruce? I've been dabbling in the book

8:51

world recently. You've

8:54

got a couple of strikers. I

8:57

had this wonderful, weird and wonderful idea a few years ago.

9:04

And apparently, at the time, they were

9:06

an absolute disaster. But

9:09

then people got a hold of them, quite enjoyed them. I

9:12

don't know where they are now. Well, I can tell you

9:14

actually, there's one striker is

9:16

going on Amazon for a thousand

9:18

pounds. I realize the collectors

9:20

are. I've

9:22

been on the hundred when I get home and

9:24

I've got a few in the drawer. I couldn't give them

9:26

away at the time. Do

9:29

you think he wrote them? He

9:31

did. 100% done. Case

9:34

closed. Case closed. Yeah. This

9:37

case is closed. Okay. Well, one final thing on Steve

9:39

Bruce. On a vacation

9:41

with my wife in the beautiful Western

9:43

Isles this summer, there I was on

9:45

sunny day in Stornway shopping for Black

9:47

Pudding and Harris Tweed. When I noticed

9:49

a sadly closed classic independent sports shop.

9:52

Not to worry. Later reading confirms Sportsworld and

9:55

Francis Street shot in March 2020 due to

9:57

COVID and reopened in new premises. A

10:00

two-story building I look up to see some posters

10:02

in the window. Much to my

10:04

utter delight, there he was. Steve

10:06

Bruce. Two

10:08

faded mid-90s Steve Bruce posters

10:11

advertising Mitre. To make Mitre even

10:14

better in a classic 90s town,

10:16

the posters don't make any sense.

10:19

Both are similar in style with ever so

10:21

slightly jaunty head angle. Do you know what? Rather

10:23

than have them described by email, I'll send

10:25

you this photo Chris and Michael. So this

10:27

is what he looked up to see in the

10:29

window. Look at these. We'll put it on

10:31

our Instagram. I just want to discuss how

10:33

this is still there. Oh wow. Isn't

10:36

that amazing? They must be from 1992, 93. Yeah.

10:41

Wow. Steve Bruce in a Mitre

10:43

sweatshirt holding a Mitre Ultimax. They're

10:45

blocking up a window like it's

10:47

a kind of squat. Yeah. But

10:49

they must have been there for 25 years. Yes,

10:52

it's a poster of Steve Bruce that's

10:55

been in a window single

10:57

glazed for over 20 years.

11:00

It's amazing. What a time capsule. It's amazing

11:02

to think that if the world ended that

11:05

would be around for maybe millennia. This

11:09

was August the 10th,

11:11

2020 on the island of

11:13

Stornoway. That is from James Fowler. That's

11:15

amazing. He says, PS, you should really write

11:17

to the owners and ask for those posters. Yes,

11:19

please. Mitre have got

11:21

some bang for their buck with that bit of

11:24

marketing campaign, haven't they? I wonder what that, how

11:26

much that cost? The

11:29

bloke who put that poster in that window thought that's going

11:31

to be up there for 20 years,

11:33

25 years. You know, when you see

11:36

like an advert on a tube for the

11:38

film that's closed like three months ago, anything

11:40

bloody hell, they're struggling to sell that. Yeah.

11:43

It's just been there for 25 years without being

11:45

replaced. If you want to get

11:47

in touch with anything Steve Bruce related, this is how. Get

11:51

in touch with the show. Email hello

11:54

at quicklykevin.com. Follow

11:56

us on Facebook and Twitter at Quickly

11:59

Kevin. and sign up to

12:01

the mailing list at quicklykevin.com Now,

12:06

quite simply, here it is. Striker

12:09

by Steve Bruce, Chapter

12:11

One, in full. Hello,

12:15

Ivo Graham. They

12:18

say you should never go back. LAUGHTER

12:24

So I think what this came from

12:26

was we re-listened to,

12:29

separately, the first Striker

12:31

episode, and

12:33

I couldn't believe how little we'd said about

12:35

it. How long is it, Michael? That

12:37

first... The episode is under

12:40

an hour? The entire episode, and that's

12:42

with correspondences. Under

12:44

an hour. There's probably 40-something minutes of

12:47

it. This is mad. Because

12:49

it's the best of the Steve Barnes books,

12:52

and we just thought we didn't talk

12:54

about enough. I remember one of my

12:57

most vivid memories of recording all of

12:59

them was of... Because

13:02

we were having such a lovely time, and because

13:04

we were all just desperate to get our favourite,

13:06

just constantly going, oh, no, they're just losing a

13:09

paragraph, which I was ready to hold up as

13:12

the definitive bit of Steve Barnes' writing.

13:14

So what we wanted to do is we wanted to...

13:17

Take a very different approach. Yeah, and re-visit

13:19

all of the books, and read them

13:21

word for word and discuss them with

13:24

the reverence and detail

13:27

that they deserve. And don't forget,

13:29

me and Michael haven't read them in full. We've

13:32

only seen it through your

13:35

eyes. And I haven't read

13:37

Striker, obviously. Obviously. I

13:42

can't speak for Ivo, but I'm going to. We

13:44

haven't read Striker since 2017

13:47

when we read it. And

13:49

it's not likely you're going to pick up a

13:51

copy. These go for a thousand pounds of pop

13:53

on eBay. They're rare. So This

13:55

is an opportunity, a rare opportunity to really

13:58

find out what is in these books. Okay,

14:00

so here we go. This. Is.

14:03

Striker. By. Steve Bruce.

14:12

Bright. Red blood on the nice flight.

14:15

The. Nice in my hand. Duffy's.

14:18

Dead bodies stretched out on the locker room

14:20

floor. And. Capital. That.

14:22

Think of we have considered. I

14:25

didn't do it I said weekly. And

14:29

England him when the World Cup and sixty city

14:31

to evaluate if you could never get that free.

14:33

Oh that, I've got a guy. I started Mr.

14:36

Brightside. It is as. Good

14:39

as on us I think. oh so

14:41

I know. I must have pointed this

14:43

out last time for the i said

14:45

it was the same problem I didn't

14:47

do I so suplicy sleep does sound

14:49

like he said every wage. At

14:52

England him when the woke up in sixty six

14:55

he sneered. Do people

14:57

who are. Listings his know the plot

14:59

of this book. Can we reference

15:01

that we know who killed? I

15:03

think if you use a tricky

15:05

to see if you haven't listened

15:07

to the original ones, what the

15:09

fuck you doing on Patriot? Listening

15:11

to these run much as I

15:13

can. worth. The sites that the

15:16

murderer is mentioned in the third

15:18

sentence is absolutely astonishing. Figure out

15:20

the scene of the crime in

15:22

get I Put the Knife Down.

15:24

Even. Then it occurred to me that my prince

15:26

run the handle is half past ten in the

15:29

morning. Was started. it's just

15:31

another Monday had such he turned

15:33

fashion. I'll

15:36

give the police about said Coppery. There

15:38

was a crooked smile on his lips.

15:40

Etti Carver's enjoying this. Duffy was Dad.

15:42

there was blood everywhere, even on my

15:44

hands. and he Coppery was enjoying a

15:46

soul. To him, that's. a

15:49

good repetition or do you think that

15:51

is as he said i think from

15:53

a plot perspective is given us too

15:56

much fun with the benefit of hindsight

15:58

you get a murderer is enjoying

16:00

this situation as you would expect a

16:02

murderer to do. This was

16:04

his big chance, me and side, on

16:06

a charge of murder. Carberry

16:09

is caretaker manager, a run of good results

16:11

and he gets my job, which

16:13

he has always wanted and expected to get

16:15

when the last guy got the old heave

16:17

ho after the border on takeover. That's a

16:19

bruisism isn't it? The old heave ho. What's

16:22

interesting there though is quite often you will

16:24

sort of meet what turns out to

16:26

be the killer in the first scene, but they'll

16:28

be presented as others so you won't be aware

16:30

of their motivations or their motives. But

16:33

Bruce here is literally gone, oh no this guy

16:35

wants to have my job and

16:38

now I'm being framed for a murder. And

16:40

he's enjoying it. But I think

16:43

perhaps he's hiding in places like it's so obviously

16:45

him that you go, well it can't be him,

16:47

it's a double triple bluff. What's

16:49

interesting about it is a classic

16:52

bruisism. Maybe it's not Dickens.

16:55

So I did say to you too early that

16:58

I want to write a GCSE style paper for

17:00

our fans. And one of

17:02

the questions would be, using

17:04

examples from the text, show

17:07

how Bruce moves effortlessly from

17:09

a murder mystery to discussion

17:11

of football as quickly as

17:13

possible. And

17:18

I think this is a great example of that

17:20

because you've got to remember, if I found

17:22

a dead body with a knife in it, that

17:25

is a defining moment of my life and

17:27

I'm not worried about how that's going to

17:29

affect my job prospect. How

17:31

would, what is he doing picking up the knife? If

17:34

you saw a dead body with a knife next to it, why

17:36

is your instinct to pick up the murder weapon? Yeah

17:38

I suppose it's like a, oh god I should check

17:40

if he's alright kind of thing. So did he pull

17:42

the knife out of the body? Or

17:44

is it like a scallop? Yeah,

17:47

it doesn't say why he's got the knife in his

17:50

hand. When I was surrounded by

17:52

members of the club, nothing much was

17:54

said. Some of them touched

17:56

me lightly on the shoulder, letting me know they

17:58

were in sympathy with me. smiled weekly

18:00

but was unable to utter a single word either

18:02

of explanation or in my

18:09

defense. What I didn't know then

18:11

was that I was in deep shock.

18:14

When a manager's top striker is murdered and the manager

18:16

is found with the weapon in his hand it's

18:19

no time to start singing we're on our way

18:21

to the premiership. Can

18:24

we just say as well? I don't

18:26

remember that bit. There isn't a single

18:29

reference to the fact, what about Duffy?

18:31

What about this lad who's dead? Can

18:33

you resuscitate him? Is he

18:35

breathing? No, it's, oh well he's happy this

18:38

has happened. It's very

18:40

weird. It's a very strange reaction

18:42

but I think that that goes

18:44

through the club throughout really. I

18:46

mean I'm no expert medically. Would

18:48

a single stab wound in the back

18:50

kill you? I suppose if you got it in the right

18:52

place it depends really. Like I suppose

18:54

if you got it in the lungs straight

18:56

at the heart that's one thing I'm quite

18:59

happy to trust. A murderer

19:01

has been completed to a certain degree. I

19:07

question everything else but that's

19:09

alright. I had quite literally

19:12

been caught red-handed and the

19:14

guy who found me was an

19:16

implacable enemy. Implec- Implecable? Implecable?

19:21

Implecable then? I can't believe. I feel

19:23

like I'm suddenly reading a world's self

19:25

book. We

19:28

who've made a career of scoffing at

19:30

the writing of Steve Bruce, one

19:33

paragraph into our deeply

19:35

hubristic read-along have

19:37

not between us a confident

19:40

guess at how to pronounce a

19:42

word he's used. You've got to

19:44

say. You who

19:47

last laughed. These

19:49

wings are very much

19:51

made of wax guys. I

19:55

said to Ivo before this, I said this is either the best

19:57

or the worst idea we've ever had. Full

20:00

refunds available Patreon guys. He's

20:02

made a fool of us. He's

20:05

absolutely done us. What does

20:07

implacable mean? I don't know why

20:09

implacable means. I'm

20:12

so sorry Steve. Can

20:14

we google it? How are we spelling that? Unable

20:17

to be appeased or placated. I mean yeah.

20:22

Steve. So stop. I'm dreading

20:24

it now. I've

20:27

seen he doesn't know that word does he? I think

20:29

one of the recurring themes is that you can

20:31

feel the copy and

20:33

the paste function. When

20:36

he's doing his long segments about

20:39

the changing face of the industrial North or

20:41

whatever, it feels like it's just been lifted from

20:43

a page. That's not to say

20:45

that that word isn't one he would use. I

20:48

would absolutely love to

20:50

be watching Match of the Day in a few weeks. As

20:53

G. Bruce did in a press conference and he uses... He

20:56

describes Andy Carroll as implacable. I

21:04

think I'd better fill in some of the background. Much

21:07

of this you already know. I

21:09

was born and brought up in the North East. My

21:11

father was a fitter and my mother a

21:14

housewife who took a series of home help

21:16

jobs to make ends meet. We were poor.

21:19

The whole area was poor in those days. The

21:22

docks were closed. There was no work.

21:24

Strong men with skills idled their time

21:26

in betting shops. Or gossiping down at

21:28

the social club. Over half a pint

21:30

of bitter ale. With kids

21:32

to care for and hard times for

21:34

everybody, my parents didn't have much to

21:36

offer us. I'm not complaining.

21:38

It wasn't a bad childhood. There

21:40

was happiness and love in the family. It was

21:43

just that we were poor. That's

21:46

a nice section. I think that's very nice. Have

21:49

you read his autobiography, Michael? Is that pretty close to his

21:51

life? Yeah, that's fairly

21:53

accurate. Have you got any brothers or

21:56

sisters? I can't remember. How long?

22:00

Let's be honest, we're running scared now.

22:03

I've really... The

22:06

one-two punch of a long word and

22:08

a sympathetic childhood has

22:10

really shown us up

22:13

for the smug media wankers

22:15

we are. He's

22:17

put a semantic reducer on us early, don't he?

22:20

We're done. Our heads are gone. He's let

22:22

us know he's there. We

22:25

were all soccer mad. Wow, there we go.

22:27

We're back in the game. We

22:30

were all soccer mad. I was no different. From

22:32

as early as I can remember, I was kicking a ball

22:34

about. Sometimes it was old tennis

22:36

ball, sometimes a football. We

22:39

all had our heroes. Some from

22:41

the past, some more recent. Jackie

22:43

Milburn, Bobby Robson, Jack

22:46

and Bobby Charlton, Brian Robson, Alan

22:48

Shearer, Paul Gaskewin. The

22:51

list goes on and on. What

22:53

I never guessed, even in my wildest dreams,

22:55

and, like any other soccer crazy boy, I

22:57

had my share of dreams. What I never

22:59

guessed was that I'd one day make the

23:01

top grade. I'd say

23:03

Paul Gaskewin's a strange choice there because he's

23:05

younger than Steve Bruce. Yeah, and I think

23:07

also Alan Shearer's a strange choice as well.

23:09

Yeah, yeah. When he's younger than Paul Gaskewin.

23:12

Yeah. My

23:14

dad knew I had skills, but he looked on soccer

23:16

as a chancy way to make a living. In some

23:18

ways he was right. He told me to

23:20

get a trade. Alex Ferguson was

23:22

a shipyard welder. Get a trade first,

23:24

dad told me. And maybe make a bit

23:26

from football too. He wanted me to be a

23:28

plumber. That would compliment his skills as

23:30

a fitter. There would be all sorts of jobs we could

23:32

tackle together. Barns and sons, fitters

23:34

and plumbers. He

23:37

sort of feel almost quite sad for the loss

23:39

of that parallel life, isn't it? Barns

23:42

and sons never existed, of course. But

23:44

he'd have walked in and they'd have been like, they'd have been a murder.

23:46

No. He'd have been fitted

23:49

up for it. Oh, lovely. Oh,

23:51

yeah. In

23:53

the end, it was soccer that claimed all my attention,

23:55

and it still does. I wanted to

23:57

be a striker. Maybe every boy does. I

24:00

like that kind of thing. That's the kind of stuff

24:03

about his childhood and stuff. There's

24:05

some kind of eternal observations about, well

24:08

not human kind, but certainly eternal observations

24:10

about what it's like to be a

24:12

young fan. A young football fan. I

24:14

saw myself slotting in the winning goal

24:16

at Wembley against Brazil or Argentina to

24:18

snatch the World Cup for the country.

24:21

A PE teacher at school made me

24:23

change my mind. You're a

24:25

defender Steve, he said. You've got the shoulders

24:27

of an ox, you're tall, and you can

24:30

move fast. And

24:33

it's never just a stopper. That isn't how

24:35

modern football is played. Defence isn't

24:37

a matter of booting the ball into the

24:39

stands. It's about blunting their attack and moving

24:41

straight onto the offensive. I remember the days

24:43

when centre forwards used to lounge about upfield

24:45

during a period of defence, waiting for a

24:47

high ball to be delivered to them. That

24:50

changed and changed utterly. Nowadays

24:52

you'll find Alan Shearer on the goal line,

24:54

heading clear when the goalkeeper has been left

24:56

stranded. Never seen that in my mind. Nothing.

24:59

It never happened. But

25:01

it's already clear that he idolises the

25:03

younger man, Alan Shearer. So he started

25:05

putting him in positions he's never actually

25:07

been. The last line of defence, famously,

25:09

Alan Shearer. Every

25:13

member of the side is an attacker and

25:15

a defender. That is one of the important

25:17

facets of the modern game. I am still

25:19

in my squad on the training ground. I

25:22

don't think Steve Bruce invented total football, which

25:24

is where this appears to be going. If

25:27

soccer skills had been the only thing at

25:29

school, I'd have been a scholar. I can't.

25:31

The amount of times he's gone with soccer.

25:33

I know. I would feel that it is

25:36

annoying. Every time you say

25:38

it's like, you just imagine Steve Bruce saying that and you

25:40

can't hear it. Could I bring

25:42

attention to an advert we saw

25:44

I've seen for Ted Lasso? Yeah,

25:46

please. In which the comedian Lloyd

25:48

Griffith is playing a journalist. Yeah.

25:50

I'm not in any way blaming

25:52

Lloyd Griffith for this because he's

25:54

not written the line. Ted

25:59

Lasso says... you either win

26:01

or you lose and he says no

26:03

in England there's also ties and

26:05

it really jarred with me. Well

26:07

but because also I think he says that

26:09

Jason Sudeikis a sort of American fish out

26:11

of water character Ted Lesseux says you know

26:14

I'm here for this team win or lose

26:16

and Lloyd Griffith the impatient journalist in the

26:18

front row goes or tie

26:20

and Jason Sudeikis says oh yeah or ties

26:22

I forgot you have those over here so

26:25

you've already got him the joke of him

26:27

not knowing about English football yeah but even

26:29

within the joke he still doesn't

26:31

know yeah it's a very difficult

26:34

thing with soccer with this yeah

26:36

or the other question is

26:38

are we not in the game enough and they

26:40

actually do call it soccer more than we realize

26:42

why soccer aid called soccer aid? Did I have

26:45

to get it in my chest finally? Oh good

26:47

question yeah I don't know well Robbie

26:49

Williams spent a lot of time in America and

26:52

maybe they were going for more I bet

26:54

they were going for an in it's UNICEF

26:56

so I bet they've tried to sell

26:59

that to an American market. Well when Oasis played

27:01

blur at five aside in the mid 90s that

27:03

was the soccer six so it must have six

27:05

aside. Are we the only people that don't call

27:07

it soccer? At four. Sitting

27:10

in this room is this where we realize?

27:13

If soccer skills had been the only thing at school I'd have been a

27:16

scholar as it was PE was

27:18

my best subject I managed a good GCSE

27:20

in English which is why I can tell

27:22

you this story now. Oh hey whoa

27:25

that's it's something really funky

27:27

happening there from the perspective of

27:29

the author so Steve

27:31

Barnes has directly referenced that he

27:34

this isn't an internal monologue he's

27:36

writing this all down yeah this

27:38

is so so you can actually

27:40

picture if you were to make the film

27:42

of this. Wow. So Steve you know at

27:44

the end of Stand By Me oh hold

27:46

on yeah when Richard Dreyfuss yeah is at

27:48

the typewriter telling the story well let's find

27:50

out perhaps there are other sort of a

27:52

formal playfulness that we didn't pick up on

27:55

the first time around there is there is a

27:57

kind of he's breaking the fourth wall a bit yeah

27:59

I suppose. Or is it the

28:01

fifth walk as he's being Steve Bruce

28:03

reflecting on I

28:06

can't wait for Christopher Nolan to adapt Is

28:10

it murder she wrote as well then I said

28:12

Angela Lansbury pulls the paper out the typewriter Yeah

28:15

at the end. Yeah at the end. Well Sherlock

28:17

Holmes as well. Obviously is is written by the

28:19

is The stories

28:21

are written By

28:23

John Watson John Watson writes

28:25

and for a magazine Dr.

28:27

Watson. So if you read Sherlock

28:30

Holmes, it's written from the

28:32

perspective of Johnson Watson who is Chronicer

28:34

Sherlock Holmes his friends and chronicler right

28:36

and they'll have discussions where Sherlock

28:39

Holmes will talk about Other

28:41

Sherlock Holmes stories that you've read and how

28:43

he doesn't believe Watson did a very good

28:46

job of portraying him and stuff like that

28:48

Right, so so Barnes is really just keeping

28:50

up that tradition of you know

28:52

of Conan Doyle So perhaps he's more literate

28:54

than we've given him credit for but also

28:57

a lot of this is in the present

28:59

tense, isn't it? So he's written chapter one

29:02

Before he knows how this story develops

29:04

because he's surprised by the things that happen

29:06

as the story goes on Steve Bruce is

29:09

frequently friends in the Newcastle dressing room Wowing

29:11

foreign players with the news that Frankenstein isn't

29:13

actually the name of the monster Your

29:22

brains are all in your feet lad the English teacher

29:24

told me I was determined to

29:26

prove him wrong That may be why he

29:28

said it teachers have to motivate the kids.

29:30

It's the same being a manager Motivation

29:32

is the name of the game. So I

29:35

became a defender. I Don't

29:37

remember any teachers at school in

29:40

English going for the

29:42

your shit at English That

29:48

was not what there was no teacher

29:50

who Motivates kids.

29:53

Okay, you're gonna you're not gonna

29:55

get a see so good luck.

29:57

You know your brain they're in

29:59

the So

30:02

I became a defender. I was young and strong

30:04

and knew how to read a game. I played

30:06

for the school team even when in a junior

30:09

form. On Saturdays I turned out for the youth

30:11

club team. I'd like to think that

30:13

Scouts came along to matches almost by chance and

30:15

spotted my talents. It wasn't like

30:17

that. My dad was active on my behalf.

30:19

He got in touch with club scouts and

30:21

invited them to come along, have a look

30:23

at what he called this young prospect. A

30:27

literal description of it. He's loud

30:29

in quotes as well. That's true.

30:31

That parallels precisely

30:34

with his biography. His dad

30:36

sort of went out and

30:38

pushed him to people, I think

30:40

scouts or coaches that his dad knew for some reason

30:42

and was like come take a look at my son,

30:44

come take a look at my son. Well his dad

30:47

here, he didn't say that the young prospect was his

30:49

son. I

30:51

think all of this background, I mean

30:53

we've picked out a few quibbles but

30:55

I'd say it's generally a lot

30:58

stronger than the stuff. I

31:00

think Steve Bruce could write

31:02

and you get all the Pan-Ein stuff later.

31:05

He could write a great kind of coming of

31:07

age book

31:10

set in the northeast in the 60s

31:12

or the 70s. Well it would be

31:14

set, all the references would be throughout

31:16

time because you

31:21

could see Steve Bruce's books turned into one of

31:23

those kitchen sink dramas. Steve

31:26

Bruce weekly. As

31:30

luck would have it, I played for teams that

31:32

did well locally. At the age of 15 I

31:34

went to St. James's Park for a trial. Playing

31:36

for Newcastle United was my dream. Me

31:38

and thousands of others in the northeast, it

31:41

wasn't to be. I played my heart

31:43

out but they didn't make me an offer.

31:45

I started my professional career at

31:48

Girlington City. He played for Girling

31:50

to who? Well I'd be interested

31:52

for a discussion of the pronunciation

31:54

here. So obviously he means

31:56

Gilligan. Yeah that was his first club. Jurlington

32:00

City I would always pronounce with

32:02

a hard G. It's not

32:04

Jurlington City is it? It's

32:07

spelt girl. I mean no one else

32:09

has ever had this conversation. I

32:12

had to pronounce Jurlington. Not

32:16

a fashionable side, but it was an excellent

32:18

apprenticeship. Anyway, enough of that. Here

32:21

I was at the age of 38, first team

32:23

coach of Ledersford Town. I'd been

32:25

in the job for a matter of a

32:27

couple of months. My first post as a

32:29

player manager was at Threshfield United. Who's

32:32

that meant to be? Well who was Steve

32:34

Bruce's first job as a manager? Was that

32:36

in reference to the law firm Threshfield's? Who

32:38

he did an internship with? My

32:44

job was to get the side back into the

32:46

Premier Division where everybody in the city said they

32:48

belonged. There was a major problem, the

32:50

usual problem, lack of money for

32:53

new players. That meant a youth

32:55

policy and maybe three or four years before

32:57

I could even claim success. The

32:59

directors wanted success this season. They

33:01

wanted the impossible. So

33:04

when I was headhunted by Ledersford and the

33:06

owner of the club was a millionaire, there

33:08

was a promise of money for players. I

33:10

jumped at the opportunity. Who wouldn't? That's

33:13

an interesting defence of,

33:16

I seem to remember when Steve Bruce started out

33:18

as a manager, he went from

33:20

club to club quite a lot and got a

33:22

bit of a bad reputation for jumping

33:26

into slightly better situations.

33:28

Yeah, Mark Hughes. Yeah.

33:31

But one of the few journeyman managers. Yeah,

33:33

one of the few journeymen. But

33:37

that's almost a defence of his own, the criticism

33:39

of him. And

33:42

the first kind of tacit reference to

33:44

Sir Lawrence, millionaire-o. Well here

33:46

he comes. There was a short list of

33:48

five candidates for the post. I

33:50

went for the final interview brimming with

33:53

confidence. I felt sure that if I

33:55

could impress Sir Lawrence, the owner, he

33:57

would carry the others with him. And

33:59

I was right. I went for Pat Duffy

34:01

right away. I watched him play several times

34:03

when I was still at Threshfield. He was

34:05

only 16 years old, yet he played like a

34:07

man of more mature years. This

34:10

boy was a sensation on the ball.

34:13

I reckoned he'd play for the Republic

34:15

of Ireland before he was 18. That

34:18

adds a whole bleaker edge. I hadn't

34:20

realised before... That he was

34:22

emotionally invested in him. No, the murder

34:24

victim wasn't even an adult. Oh, yeah.

34:27

So how old is he? He's 16 or 17. And

34:30

also the fact that Bruce brought

34:32

him to the club makes him somehow.

34:34

Oh, yeah. Yeah, you'd think you'd be...

34:36

You don't think you'd be bragging in

34:39

print about bringing him to the club.

34:41

You'd think you'd be beating yourself up

34:43

about how you've had this strange role

34:45

in what led him to be murdered.

34:48

He was the new Ryan Giggs, the Irish

34:50

Joe Cole. That's

34:53

something weird about that turn of phrase. Well, I don't

34:55

think Joe Cole was a big enough player. When did

34:57

this come out again? About 1998? Okay,

35:02

so it is peak Joe Cole. Yeah.

35:04

No doubt he'd move to top Premier Club

35:07

for a big transfer fee, unless we at

35:09

Ledersford climb out of the ruck and into

35:11

the Premier Division ourselves. So

35:13

this is our rising young star, Sir Lawrence said to me

35:16

one day, Sir Lawrence Brook,

35:18

our chairman and owner. Hello,

35:20

old friend. You smell

35:22

the cigars when you say that. He

35:26

called me off the training ground where we were planning

35:28

a number of strategies. I was

35:30

still player manager, and though I didn't turn out

35:32

for the first two anymore, I sometimes turned out

35:34

for the reserves and regularly got stuck in with

35:36

the lads during training sessions. He's

35:39

a good young prospect, I said, echoing my

35:41

father's words about me. When will he

35:43

be ready, said Sir Lawrence? Not for

35:46

a while, yet, I said. He needs to put on

35:48

some muscle. My

35:52

fact is that speaking to age properly, looks like he's

35:54

a prized cat. Not

35:59

for a while, yet. I said he needs to put

36:01

on some muscle he certainly seems

36:03

to have what it takes already Solon said smiling

36:06

with a satisfied assurance of

36:08

a guy who with a million bucks

36:10

in the bag makes him sound quite

36:13

predatory yeah he he feels

36:15

this is a creepy conversation

36:17

yeah he's

36:21

playing away watching him run

36:23

up and down where these

36:26

mugs need to get a

36:28

few more pounds on him

36:30

slobbering on the side

36:32

of the penis Lawrence

36:38

enjoy himself with a million bucks in his

36:41

bag he

36:44

needs to bulk up before they

36:47

do anything with this he's not

36:49

ready I said he'd be kicked

36:51

off the park they didn't kick

36:53

John Charles off the park so

36:56

Lawrence reminded me John

36:58

Charles leaves United and Wales equally

37:00

brilliant a strikeout was central defender

37:03

he was as strong as a bull and it had

37:05

brains to go with the strength and skills at that

37:07

moment Duffy hit a high what was that bit? such

37:10

a weird little short mini bio to

37:13

throw us off the set if

37:15

it's getting a bit too much we fancy this

37:18

teenager here's a lead's player to read about it's

37:22

a strange bit because he's

37:25

chosen John Charles presumably because

37:27

he's famous enough yeah

37:30

but then lost confidence in his fame do

37:32

you get the feeling of Steve Bruce writing?

37:34

he writes and he doesn't have a delete

37:36

so when he gets into a position he

37:39

has to get himself out of it

37:41

I always think he's got 1-1er and the word count it's

37:46

like John Charles people might not know who John Charles is

37:48

I can get a paragraph out I

37:50

could have done a slightly more famous footballer but

37:52

it's down on the page now John Charles the

37:54

Welsh Joe Cole At

38:01

that moment, Duffy hit high volley and the ball

38:03

rocketed into the back of the net. Even

38:06

other members of the squad started to clap their

38:08

hands in appreciation. You don't get that

38:10

too often during a training session. If

38:13

I were selecting the team, Sir Lawrence continued,

38:16

in his quiet, carefully modulated English,

38:18

I think I would be giving him a chance to prove himself,

38:21

at least for half a match. I

38:23

heard his words and I got his message. In

38:26

his own subtle way, the chairman was

38:28

telling me about Team Sylexa. That's the

38:30

worst. It's smoke

38:32

and mirrors stuff from Sir Lawrence there. Funny

38:34

he said it, I really wanted to impress

38:37

Sir Lawrence at the interview, because he's never

38:39

stopped. No. Well, I listen to

38:41

advice. Only a fool ignores good advice. I listen

38:43

to those who are at letters for before me

38:45

and know the squad better than I know. People

38:48

like Eddie Carberry and I talk to the team

38:50

skipper Martin Thornton, who

38:53

is dependable in defence as

38:55

the Rock of Gibraltar. Sir

38:59

Alex's horse. I

39:05

was 100%. I would put all

39:08

of my money that Steve Bruce's knowledge of

39:10

the Rock of Gibraltar comes from Sir Alex

39:12

having a horse named Alex. I think that's

39:14

a lovely tenor phrase. Isn't this

39:16

around that time that you had the Rock

39:18

of Gibraltar, Sir Alex Ferguson? Yeah, possibly. Wasn't

39:21

that all the controversy about? Yeah,

39:23

I'll even listen to Sir

39:25

Lawrence Brook. After all, he's

39:27

an astute guy. University educated,

39:29

respected in the business world.

39:32

He knows about economics, finance,

39:34

government policies. But he

39:36

doesn't understand soccer in the way players

39:38

and managers understand the game. So

39:41

while I'm prepared to listen to the advice

39:43

from all quarters, I still think the best

39:45

advice comes from hardened professionals. And

39:48

even when I've heard the advice, I'm the one to

39:50

make the final decisions. In that respect,

39:52

it is lonely being a manager.

39:55

Oh, fuck that. I

39:57

bought Pat Duffy for a song. his

40:00

uncle and you could see that Duffy was a

40:02

serious prospect but young Duffy didn't have the track

40:04

record for the agent to hold out for a

40:06

very large sum. I couldn't

40:08

lose I bought the lad

40:10

for a song. So

40:13

why is he negotiating the transfer fee with the

40:15

agent? Oh my god this is illegal. I think

40:17

Duffy played for Threshfield's did he? But surely the

40:19

club dictates the value of the player not the

40:21

agent. I think he must mean his wages mustn't

40:24

he? Right. He would help us in

40:26

various ways and our push for promotion. I

40:28

was realistic it would take at least a

40:31

couple of years. Success is rarely purchased overnight.

40:34

If we didn't make it to the top flight after

40:36

a couple of seasons I could always sell the young

40:38

player for a big profit. That should please Sir Lawrence

40:40

Brooke and the accountants. Soccer

40:42

has always been a business of course

40:44

but now it is very big business

40:47

and owners accountants and shareholders like to

40:49

see healthy profits. In fact

40:51

they insist on profits and if these are

40:54

not forthcoming someone bites the dust.

40:56

That someone is usually the manager. Think

40:59

of the players you know who never made it in management.

41:02

The list is longer than your arm.

41:04

The weekend had been quiet. We didn't

41:06

have a game on Saturday which

41:08

we will find obviously as a theme.

41:11

It was a Friday evening fixture at

41:13

home and we won. It had

41:15

been a scrappy game and a single goal

41:17

decided it. What worried me was the fact

41:19

that our regular striker Jimmy Lawson had missed

41:21

three sitters and the penalty kick. He

41:24

liked me that's a nice pair isn't it? So

41:26

he sitters and the penalty. In the short term

41:28

I've been with the club he proved that he

41:30

wasn't in the top class. I needed to look

41:33

for a better striker. On his

41:35

day Jimmy Lawson was good enough for a team in

41:37

the lower divisions but he was unreliable in terms of

41:39

his form. I know full well

41:41

that Ford can't convert every chance. That

41:43

isn't the nature of the game or

41:46

even life itself. Some poetic stuff. I

41:49

like it when he ponders on

41:51

the bigger, occasionally

41:53

he does actually have more

41:56

scope than I thought he did. He's

41:58

a bit more philosophical. isn't he?

42:00

Yeah. I think he

42:03

is up to a point. I think also

42:05

if you studied just that kind of philosophy

42:08

over and over again it's basically

42:10

saying in sport as in life and

42:12

then just saying something about sport over

42:15

and over again. And

42:18

we go, yeah I suppose so. But

42:22

consistency is a quality that a good player

42:24

needs and Lawson lacked it. I was

42:26

quickly to learn the reason why. I tried

42:29

to lie in for an extra hour Saturday

42:31

morning. I woke at the usual

42:33

time at seven o'clock, tried to get back to

42:36

sleep but failed. So I went to

42:38

the gym, did a bit of work with the small

42:40

weights, stretched a lot, went on the rowing machine and

42:43

all together spent a pleasant hour exercising.

42:45

A good shower, a shave, dressed in

42:48

casual gear and I was ready for

42:50

a relaxing weekend. Did I

42:52

say relaxing? My wife insisted

42:54

we go shopping. Could I

42:56

ask what casual gear you're

42:59

picturing Steve Bruce in to

43:01

his weekend shopping? Manager, SB

43:07

and some kind of club

43:09

jumper, fleece, hoodie, maybe even

43:11

a gilet if he's feeling fancy. I

43:14

can't picture Steve Bruce in jeans.

43:16

No. No. When you

43:18

think of Steve Bruce at a concert or something like

43:20

that, because he definitely would have been

43:22

dragged to like Ron Stewart by Mrs. Bruce. Yeah.

43:24

She wanted

43:26

to go to the Trafford Centre. I tried

43:29

to dissuade her. My face was too well-known,

43:31

both from the days when I played for Mollcast

43:34

United and now as the bright

43:36

hope of Sir Lawrence Broek. Complete strangers approached me

43:38

and talked as if they've known me all my

43:40

life. I always try

43:42

to be polite. Public relations is, after

43:44

all, an important part of the football

43:46

business but it gets a bit wearisome after

43:48

a while. Everybody, no matter how

43:51

high profile they might be, needs

43:53

a measure of privacy. This

43:55

Saturday morning was no exception. People

43:57

came up to me and called me Steve. Some

44:01

wanted my autograph, some wanted to

44:03

talk about players, and a few even had the

44:05

cheek to tell me which team to select for

44:07

the next town game. So you see,

44:09

St Lawrence was not the only one to interfere.

44:12

He, of course, was always very subtle.

44:16

Two references to him being subtle. He

44:18

never actually told me to select a

44:21

certain player, not even young Pat Duffy,

44:23

but insinuations and suggestions, especially from the

44:25

boss, can be very persuasive. Is this

44:27

when he said, you need to bring

44:29

him on for half of the game?

44:31

Yeah, I think he said, if

44:33

I was the manager, I'd bring him on.

44:36

It's like, if your boss came up to

44:38

you and said, if I were you, I'd

44:40

print out those documents before lunch, and

44:42

you'd go, the thing about bosses is you've got

44:45

to listen up for what they're really saying,

44:47

re-between the lines. That's

44:49

a very subtle way of managing. In

44:53

the afternoon, we went for a run in the country. We

44:56

took the children with us. I'm always conscious

44:58

that I don't see as much of the kids as I was

45:00

like. Cavalick host the country to games,

45:02

a long day in Ledersford the rest of the

45:04

week. Well, it doesn't leave me much

45:06

quality time with the family. We drove

45:09

into the Pennine Hills, parked the car in a

45:11

small village, a church, a post office, a pub,

45:13

and went for a walk in the bright sunshine. I

45:16

could live in a place like this, Susan said. What's

45:19

wrong with Cheshire? I replied. Nothing.

45:22

I mean, as a weekend cottage. One

45:24

day I said, when was rich as Sir

45:27

Lawrence? A few paragraphs

45:29

ago, he said, a list as long as, I was

45:31

like, oh, this is going to be good, you're armed.

45:35

So I'm glad to hear he's getting a

45:37

bit more fancy. I'd hate to be married

45:39

to someone who loved their boss as much

45:42

as this. We'll

45:44

never be that rich, Susan laughed. Not unless

45:46

you intend to own a multinational chemical company.

45:51

It seems like he saved a little bit of the Kool-Aid for

45:53

her. a

46:00

food and drugs division and a small airline,

46:02

I said, reeling off the list of areas

46:04

in which Sir Lawrence Brooke makes his millions.

46:08

What a vile walk that must have

46:10

been. What a diversified portfolio, as they

46:12

wrote. Also, I obviously don't want to

46:14

talk about having two homes as if

46:16

it's the most natural thing in the

46:18

world, but they were just

46:21

talking about a second place in Cheshire.

46:24

I think that's achievable on a football manager's

46:26

side. It's not like, if you

46:28

want to get a second place in Cheshire,

46:30

it's gonna have to be a large multinational.

46:32

Yeah. Well, how many

46:34

airlines do you own if you want to live here? I

46:38

also think, this Steve Bruce's

46:40

wife, is getting her second home too

46:42

close to her first. Yeah. Yes,

46:44

because... I just want to

46:47

get away 30 miles down the road. If

46:50

only we lived there, you shouldn't be able to

46:52

pop back to get, if you

46:54

forget something. That isn't

46:56

the way you live in your second

46:58

home. That is the

47:01

height of luxury, a second home 30 miles

47:03

from your first. Essentially

47:06

buying up the street. Robby

47:09

Fowler style. The weekend

47:11

passed quickly. Monday morning came round

47:13

all too soon. By 8 o'clock I was

47:16

on the M62, the Trans Pennine Motorway, heading

47:18

east from Cheshire. I leave

47:20

home early because there's always a lot of work to do. I

47:23

also want to avoid morning traffic. From home

47:25

to the ground usually takes about 40 minutes.

47:28

I always arrive at the ground feeling fit and

47:30

bursting with energy. There are things to do

47:32

in the office. Julie has my mail

47:34

sorted. I dictate most of my

47:37

answers. Julie has good shorthand

47:39

skills. She's a pleasant young woman.

47:43

Not as young as she once was. Oh.

47:45

Oh, no. Oh, Steve. Thank

47:48

you, that's Michael. Hold your head in your hands, it

47:50

gets worse. But she has a good figure. And

47:53

the blonde highlights of the brown hair make

47:56

her look more attractive. Oh,

47:58

Steve. different

48:00

time. It's not

48:02

different enough. She's

48:05

indispensable when it comes to dealing with my

48:08

diary and the mailbag. I

48:10

mean they're not indispensable tasks. They're

48:12

like, oh god, what would I do? She's

48:15

just in fervour dealing with the mailbag. She's

48:17

my diary. She's got a great body, she's

48:20

got highlights and she can open a letter.

48:22

What would I do without her? How

48:27

big is Mark

48:29

Owen? Like how big's the mailbag?

48:31

As we know a lot of

48:34

stuff coming

48:36

in from South America. A

48:40

huge bag of mail every day. Julie

48:43

doesn't need a gym membership

48:48

when she's logging that mailbag up the

48:50

letters. No wonder she's kept her figure.

48:52

How many

48:56

letters do you think Steve Bruce got at the

48:58

height of his career? There's a question,

49:02

no one's ever asked. I sent him one.

49:04

No way. How's your baby coming across? This

49:11

is definitely worth the patron face. Incredible

49:14

way. I sent every player from

49:16

the double winning season. Every

49:18

player you've watched. Darl Trafford asking

49:20

for a signed picture. Oh my

49:23

god. Eric Cantonar, obviously it

49:25

wasn't him who sent me one back. Dennis Irwin sent

49:27

me one back. Steve Bruce didn't, I think,

49:29

show up might of, but they were all

49:31

print stamp signed.

49:33

They weren't all hand signed. Except Clayton

49:35

Blackmore who actually wrote you a letter.

49:38

You've been pen pals ever since. Hand

49:40

delivered it. What did you say? Eight

49:42

un-replyed letters you sent from you? That's

49:44

amazing. Wow. That's why you had to

49:46

get Julie in. Why did you write

49:48

them all individually? Why didn't you do

49:50

them as a big catch-all? Well, I

49:52

felt like that would be a

49:55

bit heated. During that moment in

49:58

the Mina United dressing room. They

50:00

all compare notes and realise they

50:03

weren't expressed. They all... No

50:07

one's asking Clayton Black for a

50:09

side photo. That is something that

50:11

he would remember. And

50:14

he was like, oh my God, that's got a fan. They're

50:16

like, ahh. I don't

50:18

know why it is. You

50:20

know like in the Vietnam films when the

50:22

troops are sort of waiting for the mailbag

50:24

to come round. And there's always

50:26

one player who's just like, oh I miss the

50:29

game. I like Clayton. I've

50:32

got a letter that he finds out everyone else got one too.

50:35

Did you stagger the letters or did you send all 25

50:38

out on the same day? I would have given them to my mum. They

50:41

all care about Alex Ferguson. He handed them

50:43

out in the dressing room. And

50:45

when the replies came back, well they won the Man United... The postage

50:47

was the Man United Franking Machine. Yes, yeah. So

50:50

they've given it to the reception... I suspect

50:52

none of those players ever saw the letters.

50:55

I'll have to dig them out. I think somewhere at

50:57

home I was lost of all of that stuff. Next

50:59

time I'm down there. I wonder if

51:01

our Patreon listeners have ever sent a letter to a football

51:03

and got a reply. I did a

51:06

couple of those when it was very in vogue. I

51:08

was about 15 so it's quite a kind of... I did

51:11

the apply for the Plymouth Manager job letter

51:14

and got a reply. Yeah, that's cool. I

51:17

sent a Match Magazine autograph book to

51:19

a Swiddentown player when I

51:21

was about 9. Asking if

51:23

he would get the signatures of everyone on the team. And

51:26

he did and he sent it back. Oh wow. That's

51:28

lovely. Keetho Halloran, who I'm afraid

51:30

to say I strategically picked because I

51:32

thought it would be better to send

51:34

it to one of the mid-ranking players

51:36

at the club. I

51:39

thought Gratzioli will sign it but he's not

51:42

going to cart it round the dressing room.

51:51

Oh Halloran does the donkey work on the pitch. He

51:53

can do it with the mail as well. He'd

51:56

send it to Claude Backelaly at Chelsea wouldn't

51:58

he? Did you

52:00

blow a bit of smoke up his arse in order

52:02

to get him? What did you say? You're my favourite

52:05

player. I would feel mortified if Keith O'Halloran heard this.

52:11

I don't think you need to worry. So Michael,

52:14

what you should have done is used Clayton Blackmore

52:16

like a Trojan horse to get around the rest

52:18

of it. Clayton, I love you, my favourite player.

52:20

You don't get enough minutes. But then you've got

52:22

to choose someone that's confident enough to go up

52:24

to the big cheeses. Maybe like Paul Parker, a

52:26

fading elder statesman. Do you

52:28

think you could do it with a club now? If

52:31

you had to send that to one club

52:33

and one player, what are the

52:35

chances of us getting that back? I think

52:37

that'd do Jordan Henderson. He seems like a

52:39

good guy. Oh, James

52:41

Milner maybe? Yeah. Shall we send

52:45

an autograph book? I

52:48

mean you have to remember, this is

52:51

Swindon in, you know, division two. So

52:53

I think doing it for a Premier League team would be quite...

52:56

Just getting a letter that wasn't a bill was probably quite

52:58

a relief. All letters receive an

53:01

answer. Even those... That's

53:04

absolutely daggard to Michael's heart.

53:07

No, they don't. Even those who

53:09

tell me how to choose the side. The

53:11

fans, the supporters are the backbone of any

53:13

club. The supporters of Lettucefield Town have

53:15

been good to me. Soccer has

53:17

been good to me. And I'm not about to

53:20

forget that. Because I get there before the squad,

53:22

usually drive straight to the training ground out of

53:24

town, it was a surprise when I bumped into

53:26

young Pat Duffy. He was standing

53:28

in the doorway of one of those VIP

53:30

suites. You're here bright and early,

53:32

Pat, I said? Yes, sir, he

53:35

said, in his reserved and polite way. Pat Duffy

53:38

was a quiet boy from a village in Southern

53:40

Ireland. He was always very polite. Looking

53:43

at him, you'd never get the sheer weight of

53:45

football ability in that slim

53:47

frame. Oh, no. This

53:50

was chaps with my people. Your

53:53

theory that he couldn't be killed with a

53:55

stab wound is really pulling on our time.

54:00

Pallid little wobbly, there's nothing of

54:02

him! Older

54:05

supports of the club who could remember

54:07

compared him to the young Dennis Law.

54:10

There was no higher praise than that. There was a

54:12

far away look in the lads eyes. What's

54:15

the trouble son I asked? I expected

54:17

him to say that some girl had jacked him

54:19

in and he couldn't live without her. Girlfriend

54:24

left you someone more muscly. She's

54:30

run off with Saracen from gladiators. A

54:35

choice, nothing's fair said

54:37

Pat. His face and the

54:39

look of fear in his eyes told a different

54:41

story. Come down to the office I

54:43

said, placing an arm on his shoulder. Missed

54:46

chance at bony there, I think. I

54:52

have a son not much younger than Pat. If my

54:54

boy were away from home and in some kind of

54:56

trouble, I'd expect someone to be looking out for him.

54:59

I strode off to my office. Pat trailed

55:01

behind me. There was a reluctance in

55:03

his steps. Nice that,

55:05

yeah. His body language spoke

55:08

volumes. Even the way he sat

55:10

on the seat across from me, shoulders hunched, eyes

55:12

wary. I think he

55:14

means weary. Suggested this was more than girlfriend

55:17

trouble. So what's the problem Pat?

55:19

I asked. I glanced at my wristwatch.

55:21

It was well past nine o'clock. He didn't

55:23

answer. I repeated my

55:26

question, but in a different form. Like

55:28

interpretive dance or something. If

55:36

you don't tell me the problem, I can't help you. I

55:39

was used to helping other players, especially young lads

55:41

who've become rich and vulnerable at a young age.

55:44

Oh God. Rich and

55:46

vulnerable? I grew up on

55:49

a platform. I didn't pick up

55:51

on this the first time around at Seoul. It

55:54

was part of my duties when I was captain at

55:56

Mollcaster United. Now as first team coach

55:58

with Leidersford. This counselling. role

56:00

remains important. He took an envelope

56:02

from the pocket of his jacket. He usually wears

56:04

a suit. What? Duffy! What

56:07

is that? What is that? He usually wears

56:09

a suit. He knows the suit. Right.

56:11

He's the suit. How

56:15

about a

56:18

first job he wants to make an impression? That's a

56:21

classic example of what we were saying

56:23

of Bruce typing himself in the toilet.

56:27

He does shit on a jacket. I need to

56:30

just look at this. I've

56:32

done picturing as well this tiny

56:34

boy in this massive suit like

56:36

David Byrne. He's

56:38

wearing a big brown overcoat. He's

56:41

actually two kids, one on his

56:43

shoulders and the other. Oh,

56:47

right. There's a justification actually. He

56:49

usually wears a suit. He's

56:52

very much the country boy on his best

56:54

behaviour and dressing for the big sit-ins. That's

56:57

never happened. He's not, babe. I

56:59

just feel. I did no disrespect. The streets are paved

57:01

with gold. I opened the envelope and read the letters

57:03

to side. I can't believe he's wearing a suit. You

57:06

know when you're reading a book and

57:08

there's a description and

57:22

it changes what you've been

57:24

picturing for the whole time. It's

57:27

the hermione hermione issue. He

57:29

opened the envelope and read the letter and said, what

57:32

I read was a mess of ill-written abuse

57:35

mixed with threat. I placed

57:37

the letter back inside the envelope and returned

57:39

it to Pat. I was going

57:41

to say, within striking I was like,

57:44

I'll be in the right room. Next

57:47

place for that is the waste basket, son. But

57:50

he says he's going to kill me, Duffy said. I

57:53

laughed out loud. A bloody nutter,

57:55

I told him. I've

57:57

had letters like that, especially when I was a

57:59

skipper at Mollcaster. I went to the

58:01

door and called for Julie. Julie, see

58:04

that Pat gets a cup of coffee. I

58:06

winked at her, letting her know there was

58:08

nothing serious. I just think

58:10

he should be taking it

58:12

more serious. Also, it'd be great if we got to

58:15

know what the letter said as well. It

58:17

was a massive hill written abuse. Oh,

58:19

sorry. Of course. He's

58:23

killed him twice, pretty much. So he's transferred into

58:25

the club, he gets murdered out, and he's ignored

58:27

threats on his life. He

58:30

also has a history of this. I mean, we'll come to this

58:32

in later books. But the guy who doesn't

58:35

take to hospital when he's having some kind

58:37

of diabetic seizure... It's like Steve

58:40

Bruce has committed manslaughter... Steve Barnes, sorry.

58:42

I mean, three times already? It's

58:45

like just lack of days of

58:47

it going, I told JFK it'd be fine to get

58:49

an open top card. Yeah,

58:54

I was mentioning the passing to Buddy Holly. He claims it

58:56

the safest way to fly! Look

59:02

up there at that book deposit. Yeah,

59:06

he's so... He's so... he

59:08

doesn't give a shit. I'll

59:11

give you a lift to the training ground, I said.

59:13

Young Duffy had not yet learned to drive a car.

59:16

As he went out, head hanging low, as

59:18

if he'd just missed an important penalty kick,

59:20

he fished into his pocket and took

59:23

out the envelope. You keep the letter,

59:25

sir, he said, in his soft brogue. I

59:28

put a letter in my pocket and thought no more

59:30

about it right then. Julie

59:32

closed the door behind them. I checked

59:34

the time. We were due at the training ground

59:36

in about 30 minutes. That gave

59:38

me time to ring my agent in London. My

59:41

agent works hard on my behalf. Considering

59:44

the amount of money he creams off the top

59:46

of everything I earn, he damn well ought to

59:48

work hard. He's got it for

59:50

his agent, I'm creaming it off the top.

59:54

He's a good guy and we have a

59:56

close relationship based on mutual trust.

1:00:00

Yeah, exactly, you literally just slagged

1:00:02

him off! I'd

1:00:04

love to know what the split an agent is on. What

1:00:06

I really like is when I really trust

1:00:08

someone and I'm always thinking about how much money they're creaming

1:00:11

off the top of them. The

1:00:15

call over I changed into my tracksuit. Exercise

1:00:18

would take Duffy's mind off the foolish letter.

1:00:21

For some reason I did not throw the letter in

1:00:23

the waist bin where it belonged but

1:00:25

kept it in my pocket of my suit. I

1:00:27

attached no importance to the letter. Like I

1:00:30

said, it was from a nutter, some sick

1:00:32

loner with nothing better to do than make

1:00:34

idle threats. The training

1:00:36

ground was five miles from the ground. We could

1:00:39

travel there as a group in the bus but we always go

1:00:41

by car. That allows some

1:00:43

of the players an extra hour or so in bed.

1:00:47

Young men like to sleep on, especially

1:00:49

if they've been clubbing the previous night. Lost

1:00:54

control of the dressing room completely there. We're

1:00:59

not picking at the fact that the bus ride is adding

1:01:01

an hour on to their morning. Has

1:01:05

Pat Duffy gone out? I asked the girl on reception.

1:01:08

She did not know. I expect him

1:01:10

to be standing next to my car. He wasn't there. I

1:01:12

waited, growing impatient. Though

1:01:15

he'd had a good win on Friday evening, there were some important

1:01:17

moves I wanted to go through. Strategies

1:01:20

practiced on the training ground can be

1:01:22

translated into good results. When

1:01:24

Duffy did not come after 10 minutes, I

1:01:27

was getting angry. Young men

1:01:29

or not, potential star or not, he would

1:01:31

have to learn who was the boss and you

1:01:33

don't keep the boss waiting. I

1:01:35

checked the reception area. I checked the toilets. Finally

1:01:38

I went down to the locker room. The

1:01:40

sight that confronted me as I entered was

1:01:43

something from which I was totally

1:01:45

unprepared. Young Pat Duffy,

1:01:47

a striker, was stretched out on the

1:01:49

floor in a pool of blood. An

1:01:51

involuntary gasp issued from my lips. Such

1:01:54

an amount of blood I'd never seen before. I

1:01:57

have seen gashed legs where muscles have been raked

1:01:59

by stones. I've seen blood

1:02:01

pouring from a guy's nose when it's broken.

1:02:04

Nothing had prepared me for this. I

1:02:06

was foolish. I went over

1:02:09

and pulled the knife from his back. Someone

1:02:12

had taken him unawares. That's

1:02:14

how it was when Carberry came in. Bright

1:02:16

red blood on the knife blade, the knife

1:02:18

in my hand, Duffy's dead

1:02:20

body, stretched out on the locker room

1:02:22

floor. I didn't do it, I

1:02:24

said weakly. And England didn't win the World

1:02:27

Cup in 66 years. I

1:02:29

put the knife down. Even then it

1:02:32

occurred to me that my print from the handle, it

1:02:34

was half past nine in the morning. What

1:02:36

started as just another Monday morning had

1:02:39

suddenly turned pear shape. And

1:02:41

he hitched his backpack onto his

1:02:43

right shoulder. He

1:02:46

probably hitched it. Unnecessary

1:02:50

detail there. He

1:02:54

just managed to wear a

1:02:56

backpack. He just come back.

1:03:00

Two weeks during the rain to rain.

1:03:05

In my head,

1:03:07

Carberry's got like a saucepan hanging

1:03:09

off it and like a roll.

1:03:13

A flashlight. Carberry's

1:03:16

key rings clanked together. They

1:03:19

stood over their body. Eddie

1:03:26

hitched his backpack on his right shoulder. I'll

1:03:29

give the police a bell, Carberry said. Chapter

1:03:32

end. So interestingly,

1:03:34

doesn't he repeat the

1:03:36

thing? Yeah,

1:03:38

that's a really interesting literary device.

1:03:41

I enjoyed that literary device, the repetition

1:03:44

of the... I think it works well

1:03:46

with the red blood, the

1:03:48

knife in my hand. I think the reputation

1:03:50

of England didn't win the World Cup in

1:03:52

96 years. And the

1:03:54

repetition of pear shaped. I

1:03:58

think when you're sitting on a gag as well. good as

1:04:00

66 you should do it twice. England

1:04:04

haven't won the World Cup as many times as Steve

1:04:06

Bruce has made a gag about them winning the World

1:04:08

Cup in the first

1:04:11

chapter of his book. That

1:04:14

was chapter one of Striker by

1:04:16

Steve Bruce and we now fully

1:04:18

believe that to be the case.

1:04:21

Next month we'll be back with

1:04:23

chapter two to continue

1:04:25

on this literary odyssey. Steve

1:04:28

Barnes see you later. So

1:04:36

there you go that was chapter one of Striker. If you

1:04:38

want to get access to all the Steve Bruce books and

1:04:41

finish the trilogy plus get all the extra

1:04:43

content we've produced down the years you can

1:04:45

join the quickly Kevin fan club it

1:04:47

is available at another slice.com/quickly Kevin and on

1:04:49

your Apple podcast app. Thursday 16th of May

1:04:51

is the end of quickly Kevin the final

1:04:54

show that will be on the Palladium. We'd

1:04:56

love you to be there. Have a look

1:04:58

in the description of this episode for tickets

1:05:00

and we'll see you soon. Robbie Slater see

1:05:02

you later.