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To learn more. You

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could spend the weekend doing the same

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old whatever. or you could. John

1:47

Wark will take the penalty. Up goes D on Dublin!

1:54

Oh, no, gold from Roddick! Well, by

1:57

Frank here for Kiwabia. Bruce

2:00

in the queue again. Bruce! Go!

2:06

No way! I can't see him! He's a little

2:09

bit of a boss! You could

2:11

have! No! Ah, you know

2:13

him better than anybody's office. Do you back him to score quickly, yes

2:15

or no? Yes. Oh

2:18

no! Hello

2:27

and welcome to Quickly Kevin. Will

2:29

he score the final run in

2:31

continues? I'm Chris Skoll, today we've

2:33

got Danny Baker and also, as

2:36

always, Josh Whitacom. Hello. And

2:38

this intro comes courtesy of Barry Walsh who

2:40

says, Welcome home, Ian Wone. It's Michael Marden.

2:43

Oh really? Hello. Barry Walsh added

2:45

on to that intro that he's off to drown his

2:47

sorrows at the podcast's ending night, but

2:50

might hang around after outside to meet

2:52

some Sirchich. I almost forgot about that.

2:56

Are we going to

2:58

say anything? On

3:00

the night? Yeah? I'm coming

3:03

round to it. I still don't

3:05

think we should dedicate half the

3:07

final show to the fact that

3:10

Sirchich happens to be there. Just

3:12

saying it. Just saying it. I

3:16

hope he's not in the front row just staring us out.

3:18

He's got quite a cold look, hasn't he? He's quite a

3:20

scary man. It

3:23

is full vaulting care. With

3:26

the procs on head. Are you not

3:28

going to ask me about my career? Are

3:32

you guys seriously getting

3:35

this far in and not going to

3:37

ask us about my career? I think

3:39

also, since we've come back to it

3:41

now, we're going to have to do a...

3:46

Is it called an amnesty? If you've got

3:48

a Sirchich, you've got to hand him in

3:51

now. Do you remember that? You've

3:53

got to hand him in. Bring

3:55

out the knife. The good Sirchich

3:57

agreement. That

4:01

first live show we did, we

4:03

had emails after, Steve Stone was there and

4:06

said, the second show we said, alright any

4:08

90s footballers here, none of them, nobody's in

4:10

the tent. The room went cold.

4:12

Well we can't do that Chris, we can't say

4:14

any 90s footballers here, because that's the church it

4:17

will go, I'm more 2000. Could

4:24

I just say, the guy that

4:26

emailed in has the

4:28

most 90s footballer name in

4:30

history, Barry Walsh,

4:33

if he's an absolute, didn't he play for Warsaw?

4:37

He feels they've set a lower league stalwart doesn't he?

4:42

Sent it back. I can imagine, you know,

4:44

Series 5 and K I can imagine Series 5 and K I

4:47

was riffing about a

4:50

lower league dog, which Barry Walsh is struggling

4:52

to tie up his socks. Anyway,

4:58

we will do a

5:00

Sasa Church, it's amnesty

5:03

moment on the night. Oh we're doing it.

5:06

Shall we do it? Shall we do it? Shall

5:08

we do it? Let's do it. We'll do a

5:10

moment of silence, the lights come up. If

5:15

you are Sasa Church, please make

5:17

yourself known now. You're

5:19

stupid. You're stupid. Please stand up.

5:21

I feel like I'm Spartacus. I

5:23

was literally about to say I'm

5:25

going to encourage any Philly

5:28

Kevin listeners, if you come

5:30

in full bowl of gear and

5:32

just stand up and go, I'm

5:34

Sasa Church, I'll give a

5:36

prize. There'll be a prize

5:38

to every single person that

5:40

does that. Full bowl

5:42

and night is kit with peroxide hair. I

5:46

mean that's quite

5:49

to be honest, number and name on the

5:51

back. Should

5:53

we get all the Sasa Search itcha likes on

5:55

stage? Let's see if we can spot the

5:58

real Sasa Search itcha. Will

6:00

there be a Royal Society of Chairsets please stand

6:02

up, please stand up, please stand up. Honestly,

6:08

if anyone does that, there will

6:11

be an incredible, incredible prize for

6:13

you. 90's football prize. I will

6:15

ponder our archives. Yeah. How about

6:18

what it's going to be like for someone who's on

6:20

a Thursday night in the middle of May, they're

6:23

traveling in on the central line to Oxford Circus

6:25

to meet a friend for a pint and

6:27

they look on the tube. And there's four

6:30

people dressed to Sasa Chairsets. They're

6:33

all separately dressed to Sasa Chairsets.

6:39

What are the ghosts of the people that

6:41

have played the Palladium going to think? Bruce

6:43

Forsythe is looking down going, what has become

6:45

of this hallowed ground? There's seven

6:48

overweight men in ill-fitting, Bolton shirts

6:50

walk to the stage in blonde

6:52

wigs. Oh,

6:56

there we go. Yeah. That's

6:59

another five minutes dealt with. Right.

7:05

To do the electronic post bag. And for

7:07

today is a special treat, Michael,

7:09

because it's the final few

7:12

episodes. You have always wanted to do the

7:14

electronic post bag. So here it is. I'm

7:20

Jim Rosenkraut and this is the

7:22

electronic post bag. You've

7:24

got mail. I

7:26

pulled out some fun stuff from the post bag. I'm

7:29

just going to give you guys the headlines

7:31

of each, basically. And then you kind of cherry

7:33

pick. There's six to pick from. I

7:35

think we do three for each episode. Okay.

7:40

So first option, Peter Schmichel's second hand

7:42

trousers. That's

7:47

wrong. That's wrong. That's wrong. Yeah. Next

7:50

option, Samasihaboo update. Next

7:53

option. Next option, new signing

7:55

goes MIA. Another

7:58

90s football chocolate. question mark?

8:03

Graham Kelly football ability

8:05

update and

8:09

finally fictional

8:11

characters named after football players.

8:14

Oh that's fun that's fun. It's balls eye style

8:16

what's your category? Sure

8:18

you open with fictional characters named after

8:20

football players. Yeah I feel ashamed to

8:22

open with Peter Schmeichel. We probably won

8:24

Peter Schmeichel. I feel like we should

8:26

hold that over to next week. I don't know about you

8:28

Scott. Yeah let's go for it. Yeah okay

8:30

so this is from Luke

8:33

I don't have your surname but he says

8:36

on a recent episode you asked about

8:38

fictional characters who are named after footballers

8:40

such as Steve Barnes. Well several

8:43

characters in the Jack Reacher

8:45

series of books are named

8:47

after Aston Villa players. Lee

8:50

Child the author of the books whose real

8:52

name is Jim Grant was born in Coventry

8:55

but is a villa fan and sneaks many

8:57

players and managers names into the books. Why

8:59

did you change his name to Lee Child?

9:02

That's not an exciting enough name is

9:04

it? Certainly not a big enough upgrade

9:07

from Jim Grant is it? I think

9:09

that's both at the same weight class.

9:11

Yeah stop Robert Galbrae. You know what

9:14

I found out Joe

9:16

Pasquale talking of the kind of

9:18

people that play the Palladium. Joe Pasquale that's

9:21

not his real name and his real name is

9:23

just a different Italian surname I think it's Joe

9:25

Tomasi and you're like what

9:27

a strange move that is. If you had to change

9:30

your surnames what would you change them to and why?

9:32

Pasquale. Some

9:42

examples of the 90s names

9:44

mentioned in his books include

9:46

Paul McGrath obviously, John Gregory

9:49

and Graham Taylor have all made appearances

9:51

not themselves but just as characters in

9:54

the in the book. That's so distracting.

9:56

I don't love

9:58

fiction and I think... If I

10:00

was doing the book where there's a character called

10:02

Michael Owen. How

10:06

could you not be distracted by that? Yeah, they're

10:08

quite violent, aren't they? Those books. Luke Charles. Yeah,

10:11

his kind of Jack Reacher series. So you've got

10:13

a man called Graham Taylor caving someone's head in

10:15

on a military base today. Graham

10:19

Taylor's the copper. He's the village policeman who's

10:21

happened upon a scene and thought, I, what

10:23

is happening here? Yeah. Yeah, he stumbles across

10:25

the crime scene. He's like, do I not

10:27

like this? I'm

10:30

like, Lovely. Tell

10:34

your superintendent that he's cost me my job. The

10:43

press conference after the murders. Watch your up.

10:50

Let me worry about it, Rob. All

10:54

the world, Graham Taylor. And

10:57

a quick, a quick PS on that subject.

11:00

We had another email in from Philip Beatty.

11:02

Thanks for the Philip. It says, hi lads,

11:04

the 1999 film

11:06

Plunkett in McLean starring Johnny

11:08

Lee Miller and Robert Carlisle

11:10

features characters played by those

11:12

two named Winterburn and Dixon.

11:16

Oh, wow. Very good. It's gotta be, it's

11:18

got to be. I'm assuming whoever wrote that

11:20

was someone in the process is a big

11:22

asshole. So are they called someone

11:24

Winterburn and someone Dixon? I

11:27

had a quick look on IMDB and it just

11:29

said Winterburn and Dixon. That's fucking

11:31

incredible. That's lovely. Yeah. If

11:33

you've got any other examples of that, send

11:35

them in. We probably won't get around to

11:37

them because there'll never be another post bag.

11:40

But you know, for our own amusement. Oh,

11:42

we can run them through a live show.

11:44

Everything now, we were creating that live show.

11:47

It's not just going to be people dressed in sasa churches.

11:52

Although there will be a significant amount of

11:54

that. Can we get the song Take Me to Church?

11:56

But. So,

12:02

do you want to choose one score? Obviously

12:05

the Samasihaboo thing has peaked

12:07

my interest. Yeah. Okay.

12:11

That's a sentence I never thought

12:13

I'd say. So, Samasihaboo update.

12:15

This is from Paul Lehi. This is a

12:17

sort of do I remember this right? So

12:19

let's have this thing. Do

12:22

I remember this right? Do I remember this right?

12:27

Hello gents. When

12:32

talking about Samasihaboo in a recent episode, it

12:34

reminded me of a memory I had that

12:36

can find no proof of it anywhere on

12:39

YouTube or online. I think

12:41

I remember that when on Soccer AM with Tim

12:43

and Helen, Samasihaboo said

12:45

fuck off live on

12:47

that. When

12:50

asked why he said it, his reply was, John

12:53

Moncure told me to say it. Do

12:58

I remember this right? Love

13:00

your podcast and I miss it when it's gone. Thanks Paul. I

13:04

see John Moncure on a regular basis. I will bet

13:06

him asking but he would only know if it came

13:08

back to him. Surely it would have.

13:11

Feels very on brand for John Moncure doesn't

13:13

it? I don't remember that. I feel like

13:15

I would remember that. I've

13:17

never watched Soccer AM because

13:19

I didn't have Sky back in the day. Would

13:22

Samasihaboo be a kind of person

13:24

that would be booked on a Saturday morning?

13:27

Wouldn't he be playing for West Ham? That's

13:30

a very good point. He'd make a good point. I'm

13:33

not sure his English was ever great while

13:35

he was playing for us. It would be

13:37

a strange booking. I'd

13:40

say it's also exactly the sort of clip that

13:42

would be all over YouTube and we would have

13:44

seen or heard of it prior to this. I

13:48

don't believe that Samasihaboo says

13:50

fuck off on Soccer AM. Tim Lovejoy

13:53

is going, well why did you say

13:55

that? The

14:00

acquisition happens on air. I'm

14:02

not sure I'm having that. Sorry, Sir Massey.

14:04

I've got to ask, why

14:06

did you? Why

14:08

have you denigrated this fantastic show?

14:14

Sir Massey, the floor is yours. Explain yourself.

14:21

I'm just not sure that. But you know, I'd

14:23

love to be proven wrong. Yeah. Right,

14:25

a final one then from the post bag for this

14:27

episode. You don't need a recap or do you got

14:29

one you want? No, I don't need a recap. Should

14:32

we do it, Scull or shall we? Do

14:34

you want chocolate thief or do you

14:37

want Peter Schmeichel's second-hand trousers? Peter Schmeichel's

14:39

second-hand trousers are so day-to-day, doesn't it?

14:41

Like a headline on the day-to-day. I

14:43

don't want either of those. I'm interested

14:45

in Graham Kelly. Okay. Football ability update.

14:48

Okay, great. Okay, so Graham Kelly football

14:50

ability update. Hi, guys. I've never had

14:52

a reason to email you, but with

14:54

a sad ending of QK just around

14:57

the corner, when better than now. I'm

15:00

currently reading Glenn Hoddle's autobiography.

15:03

And there is one bit that may be of

15:05

particular interest to you. Fucking hell. Why were you three

15:07

weeks ago, mate? We're just interviewing. In

15:11

the days before England's World Cup qualifier against Italy

15:13

and Rome in 1997, the

15:15

staff had a kickabout where it

15:17

was mentioned that none other than FA

15:20

bigwig Graham Kelly scored a hat trick.

15:23

Hello. And

15:26

this game would have included Hoddle,

15:28

Ray Clements, John Gorman and more.

15:30

So maybe the FA pencil pusher was

15:32

more of an accomplished player than

15:35

we suspected. See you at

15:37

the podium, thanks Howard Bowden. So

15:39

maybe he is, maybe he's a very

15:41

accomplished footballer. Yeah, that's

15:44

interesting. Because Ray Clements

15:46

is obviously, I

15:48

mean, the thing I know

15:50

most about Ray Clements is him and

15:52

Peter Shilton were long-term rivals to the

15:55

England jersey, as they say. Yeah. Is

15:57

it? Do I remember this right? I think it's almost certainly true.

16:00

Slightly older listeners will know. I

16:02

think there was a manager of England. I think it

16:04

might have been Ron Greenwood or it might have been

16:07

Don Reavy maybe. Reavy? Reavy?

16:09

He's never really got to the bottom of that. I'd

16:11

be like, stay on till this day. I'm

16:14

pretty sure it's Reavy, isn't it? Reavy? I've heard

16:16

Re... Yeah, yeah, sorry. I've heard

16:18

Reavy. Anyway, he... Get

16:22

this. He just alternated between

16:24

the two of them, game on game. Oh, really?

16:27

Do you remember? Take it in turns. They

16:29

took it in turns to go in goal.

16:31

There we go. That's amazing, a hat trick.

16:34

Who's your favourite ever head of the

16:36

FA? Oh, I couldn't

16:38

even... Finally, finally, Ron. I

16:41

could name Adam Crozier. Yeah,

16:43

he's a weird one, isn't he? Well, you've got

16:45

to the post office and we all know how

16:47

that ended up. Well, I

16:49

was sure that Adam Crozier, Greg Dyke, see, I

16:52

like Greg Dyke, but I don't really know why.

16:54

Who is it now? I couldn't even tell

16:56

you who it is now. No. Brian

16:58

Barwick? What do you think, Brian Barwick?

17:00

Oh, Brian Barwick, great. I really

17:02

respect a man who's got... who's lost his mail

17:04

pattern board, has gone bald, but just still grows

17:06

it out. It doesn't happen

17:09

anymore. And he have a great cash

17:11

as well. Yeah, he did.

17:13

Adam Crozier, for me, represents

17:15

that bizarre area of

17:17

life. And I don't know how these people exist,

17:20

where there's these people that just... Their

17:23

job is to just be the head of an industry.

17:26

But then they move to a completely

17:28

different industry. So they'll be the

17:30

head of British Gas and then they'll be

17:32

the head of John Lewis. And then

17:34

it's like, what is going...

17:37

I don't understand business well enough to

17:39

know how Adam Crozier's skill

17:41

set includes hiring Sven Gore

17:43

and Eric then. And then...

17:46

I'm being opposed to it. But also, Greg

17:49

Dyke did the same thing. He

17:51

went from the FA to

17:53

the BBC. You would never

17:55

imagine Graham Kelly running like

17:57

the National Grid. I

18:00

know what Joseph has to say, he

18:02

wouldn't be qualified. Well, you see that,

18:04

but maybe he would be the one

18:07

to bring it back into public ownership

18:09

and make so much money. We doubt

18:11

it is footballing ability. Maybe he's the

18:13

man that we need to take us

18:15

out of this mess. Yeah. That's

18:18

not what I thought you were going to say about

18:20

Adam Crozier, because Adam Crozier, did

18:22

he come directly after Graham Kelly? But

18:24

even to this day, I associate Adam

18:27

Crozier with a brave new era, a

18:29

dynamic, young, young executive. He

18:31

was very much the Tony Blair. Brian

18:41

Barwick was Gordon Brown. We

18:49

have one final episode. We've got two

18:51

more episodes, but the last

18:53

episode, we'd love anything

18:55

we've missed, obviously. Many of your favourite

18:57

Quickly Kevin memories do write them in.

19:00

We'd love to kind of, you

19:02

know, we are reminiscing in that final episode,

19:05

because what better to do than

19:07

use the final episode to basically recap

19:09

everything we've covered in the space of

19:12

an hour? Yeah, send us in your

19:14

favourite Quickly Kevin memories. This is

19:16

how to get in touch. Get

19:20

in touch with the show. Email

19:22

hello at quicklykevin.com. Follow

19:25

us on Facebook and Twitter at

19:27

QuicklyKevin and sign up

19:29

to the mailing list at quicklykevin.com. Now

19:34

before Danny Baker, and we are so,

19:37

this Danny Baker interview, is

19:39

it an interview, Chris?

19:41

Well, usually the format of an interview is

19:43

you ask questions and you get responses to

19:46

those questions. I

19:49

would describe it more as an audience with Danny

19:51

Baker. It

19:53

was a genuine honour to be

19:55

there. He's my number one dream

19:57

guest. And did he deliver? man.

20:00

I'm more than that. Just

20:02

incredible. He's just so incredible.

20:04

Just so incredible. Now before

20:06

that, Chris, in the last

20:08

couple of weeks, you've got,

20:11

should we say, you've got slight

20:13

cold feet, haven't you? Is that how you describe

20:15

it? Listen, I know there's a lot of sadness

20:17

around the end of Quickly Kevin. And one thing

20:20

I see constantly on our Instagram and Twitter is,

20:22

why don't you do a noughties one? Well,

20:25

look, Josh and Michael are packing the bags. They're

20:27

leaving their desks at Quickly Kevin fan club. I

20:29

feel sad, but I'm going to do a noughties

20:31

one. I'm going to, there's the announcement.

20:34

There will be more to come. And what I

20:36

will say is this. Another thing we've been getting

20:38

a lot is will we still be able to

20:40

be access the Quickly Kevin fan club and access

20:42

all the old subscriber episodes? Yes. And in fact,

20:44

what will happen is if you're a member of

20:47

the Quickly Kevin fan club, you will transfer onto

20:49

this new noughties pod and get all the old

20:51

subscriber episodes as well. There's going to

20:53

be more to be announced. And if you

20:55

like dream team, all these things that happened after New

20:57

Year's Eve 1999. Tell

21:00

us some of the things, tell us some of the things

21:02

that you want to cover. The title is

21:04

magnificent. And in fact, we've already got the Instagram

21:06

handles and the Twitter handles. If you can find

21:08

it, if you can find it, I would be

21:10

impressed. Oh, so is there, is there, is there

21:12

a challenge to find the Instagram and Twitter? See

21:15

if you can find the Instagram and Twitter. Okay.

21:17

Okay. And we'll reveal that. We

21:20

should say genuinely that we

21:22

stopped Quickly Kevin and

21:24

then genuinely that you were like, I

21:27

can't, I can't stop the bug. I want to go to 2000s.

21:31

Well I love the 2000s. And there

21:33

has been a lot of Twitter comments and

21:35

Instagram comments and I just think, yeah, what

21:37

if there was, if I

21:39

could continue? Could I just say, I

21:42

cannot fucking wait to listen. I watched a clip this

21:44

morning of Stuart McCall falling off a car.

21:47

And I just thought, this is good

21:49

gear. Also, perfect episode

21:52

one booking. So that's the church.

22:02

So, the moment will be ending in two

22:04

weeks and it will be ending at the

22:06

Palladium. It's going to be an incredibly emotional

22:08

few episodes at night. I genuinely feel very

22:11

sad about it. But

22:13

here is a man who never seems

22:15

to feel any sadness in his life.

22:17

Oh man, this is so good. It's

22:19

so good. Dream booking as well. Oh,

22:21

you've got him. He doesn't even

22:23

have a mobile phone. How we got

22:25

this done, I don't even really understand how it

22:27

happened, but here he is. Danny Baker. Welcome

22:58

to Quickly Kevin, my number

23:01

one dream guest, Danny

23:03

Baker. Oh bless you, my friend. And thank

23:05

you very much. And the co-hosting of Millwall

23:07

in England, it's a little too strong. I

23:09

can wax some wine with England. I don't

23:11

know. I couldn't name you most of the

23:13

England squad even now. I've never been bubbled

23:15

with that. No, maybe this won't be the

23:17

show you think. I'm so insular. I support

23:20

Millwall and I don't care about anyone else.

23:22

I do. I've never had

23:24

a discussion in my life about who should be

23:26

in the England team. Never. In

23:28

the 90s, you were always pictured wearing an England shirt.

23:31

I thought you were passionate. No, no, no. I mean, I'm an

23:33

England supporter. I don't know if they're going to a tournament. And

23:35

by the way, and we'll get around to this hopefully, I

23:38

went to every World Cup in the night. I

23:40

was paid to go to every World Cup. You know, a lot

23:42

of your younger listeners probably think, who's this old boy on that

23:45

now? Don't worry, we haven't got younger listeners.

23:47

Just so people know, I was a big

23:49

noise back in the days of Forderville. I

23:51

went to every World Cup. And of course,

23:53

I'm an England supporter. You know, I want

23:55

them to do in tournaments. But I've never

23:58

seen them anywhere near like. my belief

24:01

is that Millwall, because I don't

24:03

know other London clubs, you see, I don't

24:05

know any other clubs. And England is usually

24:07

full of Chelsea players and top of players

24:09

in Western, no thanks, no thanks. But that

24:11

seems like a whole party's NIM, but just

24:13

to cut across that, thank you for that

24:16

wonderful encomium as I came aboard. How

24:18

was the 90s for Millwall then? I

24:21

think the word moribund is awfully well chosen

24:23

here. In 1990 itself, was the year Millwall

24:28

came down from their very brief dalliance in what

24:30

was then the first division where we must call

24:33

the Premier League. And we came down actually in

24:35

1990. At Christmas 1989,

24:38

we were top of the list. Really? Wow.

24:42

Really, really well the year we came up, that team

24:44

with Teddy Sherrin and Tony Tascareno and Terry Olop. And

24:46

that one season we had when we frightened

24:48

that life out of some of the biggest clubs

24:50

in the country, often on the pitch. And

24:54

the next season we started well, and then from

24:56

Christmas on, didn't win a game. And

24:59

they finished Rockstone last, 17 points away

25:01

from safety. But that's all right.

25:03

It's like now. And I hope this argument

25:05

every week down there, you know what argument

25:07

people know exactly what I think about it,

25:10

is go down. I don't want to play

25:12

out of field in Bristol City and Preston

25:14

again. We've been doing that for about eight

25:16

years. Go down, Phoenix from the Flames, we

25:18

regroup, we come back up. That's what we

25:20

do. We bounce between the league one and

25:22

the championship. That's what we do. No ambition

25:24

at all to go up and miserable seasons.

25:27

They're getting in pain now, poor old

25:29

Sheffield United. Honestly, I genuinely mean it.

25:31

Go down. They shouldn't have got rid of the last

25:33

manager out of 19 games. It'd have been good

25:36

next year, but they can't bite a bullet

25:38

and realise we've got to go down. But

25:40

that's how we started the 90s. And after

25:42

that, we stayed until we got relegated again.

25:44

We stayed between 10th and

25:46

17th place throughout the 90s in league

25:49

one. And then we came back up

25:51

again. It's all right. You don't support

25:53

a club like Millwall for glory.

25:55

You don't. But the 90s

25:57

were very, very flat. me,

26:00

well I was not as you

26:02

say, I started at 2006 and the over

26:04

and goals and gaffes went to all these

26:06

World Cups, it was terrific but they're

26:08

entirely separate from supporting the Lions. Who

26:11

are you at the World Cups, the three separate World

26:13

Cups? Who were they for? The

26:15

BBC, I think 2006 was second in. Let me

26:17

tell you about 606. Yes please. There

26:20

was an old station called 5 Live, it was

26:22

called Radio 5 when it started and in classic

26:24

BBC way they announced they were starting Radio 5

26:27

but they didn't know what to do with it. It

26:30

was an everything station, you remember

26:32

back they used to do every kind

26:34

of show, cochlear shows, continental chart shows,

26:36

news shows, some sport, it was an

26:39

absolute rave bag. They got

26:41

rebranded as 5 Live and I was

26:43

asked over, I just started doing radio really

26:45

and I run a couple of awards and

26:47

these two women came and said to me,

26:49

what would you do, there was a sports

26:51

phoning show called Sports Call I believe, it

26:53

was on some lunch type and it got

26:55

this tiny blip in the ratings. It went

26:57

up and they thought they brought their

26:59

hands together, he's the man. Then

27:03

they gave me the breakfast show on the station,

27:05

they really did. They said really well, that's

27:07

where I met Danny Kelly, I didn't know him before that and

27:10

then they came to said look, you'd

27:13

like sport don't you? Because it wasn't a football

27:15

show and they were launching this new phoning show

27:17

for when the football ends, for fans to

27:19

have their say already. I thought oh yeah,

27:21

what they mean is fans get on and

27:24

do the thing I never do, talk about

27:26

should hoggins be playing instead of hoggins, should

27:28

there be another season for Chelsea? Not

27:30

that. I knew I didn't want it to be about

27:32

football, I wanted it to be about football supporting and

27:35

those two things are entirely different as you know. Anyway

27:37

I didn't have any great thoughts about it, I just

27:40

thought I'd ever turn into a

27:42

radio rodeo which is the only show I can ever

27:44

do. Anyway they asked me to do

27:46

it and I said yeah, I said but I go to

27:48

football on Saturdays and we'll send a car, they did, they

27:50

used to send a car. We all, that's how it is

27:52

in that guy. I can get up there by six o'clock

27:54

then, hopefully, but they didn't have a name for it.

27:57

They had no name for the show, they just knew there was going to be a

27:59

sports phoning show. And in a classic

28:01

BBC way, they still didn't have a name for

28:03

it. I'm still talking about Back of the Net,

28:05

Behind Closure's Doors, which I later used to the

28:08

one of David Gary Lineker. I couldn't

28:10

agree on it. The copy went off to

28:12

Radio Times for that week's listings, and

28:14

it just said, 6 o'clock news weather, 6.06,

28:17

sports phone-in show. And

28:20

it went into Radio Times like that. And

28:23

it became 6.06 entirely by it. They just

28:25

didn't have a name for it. They'd listed

28:27

it in the Radio Times's 6.06 sports phone-in

28:30

show. When

28:32

did you start saying the word 6.06? I

28:35

never called it 6.06. I've never said my

28:37

own name on the radio, which is weird. I

28:39

always felt too smashy and nicey even though it

28:42

was before that. That's why I became the candy

28:44

man and things like this. That's funny. So when

28:46

they said, work on a 6.06, they had jingles

28:48

that did that. And because

28:50

of this, on my part, ridiculous

28:52

cavalier attitude I've always had towards basically the

28:55

BBC. I'm sorry. I thought, I'm not

28:57

going to go over this. It's yours.

28:59

I had one or two things to say to myself.

29:01

Because they said, try and involve other sports. We don't

29:03

want it to be all about football. Okay.

29:06

And so the very first call we took, I said,

29:09

they'd made a record show if anybody got it. They said,

29:11

we're going to be about all sports. And I want to

29:13

address the most endangered sport in this country. So we can

29:15

get some calls on this, please. I really wanted to give

29:17

a ring because for me, this is the essence of British

29:19

ball. It's giant chess. If

29:22

you live in a staky home or a pub

29:24

that's got a giant chess outside, and we've got

29:26

this giant chess match going between someone, it's Scotland,

29:29

and someone that we do one move a week.

29:32

And what it really took off though,

29:35

because equally I'd said something about, I

29:37

knew it couldn't be that kind of agenda of still

29:40

sickier agenda. They just brought it up with a

29:42

pro talking to pro. And so

29:44

I said, how about, I'd say it's quite

29:46

revolutionary then. There was no coverage like this. And

29:48

I asked them, the bent

29:50

referee, is he just a cliche or are there

29:52

bent referees? And what

29:54

really launched 6068, the headlines on that

29:57

very first show, apart from the giant

29:59

chess was. Andy Townsend of Chelsea

30:01

rang up. Did you? Yeah, he was about

30:03

a third caller in you want to talk

30:05

about bent referees I've just walked away from

30:07

one And

30:11

that went into the back pages the next day

30:13

and 606 bang it was

30:15

just Pros

30:17

on which I put a block on after a while

30:20

said no this is gonna be about football Yeah, it

30:22

was and not where's the best pies and where's the

30:24

coldest ground because even then I was weary at it

30:27

They used to say what do you mean? I said well football sports

30:29

don't talk like that on coaches and on trains

30:31

You don't yeah, you know you say well remember

30:33

that old girl at Rimsby. We sat near Do

30:35

you remember she's not a palm of violence and

30:37

another man might say yeah We used to pull

30:39

a palm of violet you remember and I said

30:41

let's try and get a row of seats in

30:43

the ground where people smell of

30:45

Individual things and of course someone from Norwich said

30:47

they sit in this somebody smells a mustard Did

30:49

he work with it and that to me suddenly

30:51

picked our room ahead? This is funny This is

30:54

what to do and I will fire

30:56

one from it I've been so angry about football

30:58

that there's all there and we used to play

31:00

records believe it or not Did you first two

31:02

series of the first two years? There was a

31:05

series of six? Oh six I still play records

31:07

during it Why don't ramp up those volume as

31:09

we went on and ask people to call in

31:11

about the most extraordinary things and of course if

31:13

you Do football supporters and we

31:15

maybe did things about if you're a referee on Sundays Of

31:18

course even in men days people would say

31:21

Referees get too much abuse on Sundays and whatever sign in

31:23

we know that but that's covered elsewhere And just

31:26

another way of beating up football And I

31:28

said you every and you're Sunday referee and

31:31

you didn't have a whistle. What did

31:33

you improvise with? I remember this Well,

31:35

yeah, exactly because my angle to radio

31:37

was always don't be generic be specific

31:39

Yeah, because you say oh any of

31:41

the usual football cliches, you know Worst

31:44

haircut and all that then you'll get a

31:46

full switch ball But if you say if

31:49

you were for Sunday league referee what you improvise

31:51

with only a fractional But the rest of the

31:53

audience will lean in to say what's the choice?

31:55

Listen it is because we had one fellow room

31:57

on a Sunday. They didn't have a whistle nobody

32:00

had a whistle. There was a pub and he went over to the

32:02

pub and they didn't have a whistle but he came out and run

32:04

him back onto the pitch with a spoon

32:06

and a tin tray. And

32:08

number one went and got him on

32:10

doors and came back to promisly with

32:12

a rubber duck from the bathroom and

32:14

he was on his way around with

32:16

a spooky foil. And even though now

32:18

they sound like generic cokes, then it

32:20

was told they were absolutely real. I

32:22

remember hearing one, was that subject

32:25

or something, maybe it was like you and Danny

32:27

Kelly or whatever, but it was a

32:29

really cold school football match

32:32

and the ref sat in his car. Oh,

32:35

I know exactly what it is. No, that

32:37

equally was lazy sports teachers who had a

32:40

really lazy P.F. teacher. And

32:42

the thing was, as I said without being too

32:44

vainglorious, the BBC would rather it be these manageable

32:46

usual calls, but it became such a hit, they

32:48

just thought, yeah, I mean, the thing that speaks

32:51

volumes is when I had left, who

32:53

did BBC get in, I told Nick Hancock,

32:55

not many people knew Nick, David Mello, as

32:57

you remember. That was so bad. What a

32:59

handbrake. Anyway,

33:03

that thought you were talking about, as

33:05

a sports teacher, we used to play an incredible

33:07

weather, he'd just sit in his car about a

33:09

hundred yards away and flash his

33:12

headlights if he saw something

33:14

and he was outside and he said, we

33:16

score once and he used to play headlights,

33:18

we're going and we run across. We said,

33:20

what? What? He went, oh, nothing. Sorry, I'm just fiddling

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35:20

referees, how about this? This occurs

35:22

to us now. They all have written stories,

35:25

but if you're trying to do something new

35:27

and cheer people up, which is all I've

35:29

ever tried to do, was about refereeing hard

35:31

sides. And a fellow called, and

35:33

the guy was saying, Olly and Nick used to produce a show,

35:35

knew the kind of calls I wanted. And they

35:37

put this through and this fellow said, I was a chaplain, a priest.

35:40

He said, I was a chaplain in Hong

35:42

Kong. And part of

35:45

my ministry was the local prison. He said, and I

35:47

used to be asked in sometimes to

35:49

referee the games because they thought they would be

35:51

fair and I was a referee for the prison

35:53

sides. And he said, I promise

35:55

you, he said, I wouldn't like you. He

35:57

said, once I had to referee between.

36:00

like E-Wing and Death Row.

36:02

Oh my God! Because in

36:04

Hong Kong, there's capital... And I just

36:07

reacted like yourself, come on. I promised you

36:09

that and he said, you can't give

36:11

a red car to a fellow on Gertrude.

36:13

Because you've got to say, you're missing the

36:15

next free game. And he'd say, you're telling

36:18

me. And that

36:20

was the absolute beauty

36:22

of 606, the

36:24

one with the wooden bow tie became quite... That's still

36:26

on YouTube, have you watched it? No, I mean, you

36:29

can't do the accent for a start, if ever I

36:31

try to tell the story. But if you look up

36:33

wooden bow tie, just one more. Oh, more than one

36:35

more if you've got them. Getting into grounds for nothing.

36:38

What a pleasure to do. Because I knew football

36:40

supporters on their coaches, on their way back, they

36:42

didn't want to dissect the game. And there was

36:45

various ways they could let off steam and stuff.

36:47

So getting in the grounds for nothing, which again,

36:49

probably made both the BBC and the authorities, the

36:51

FA flex a bit, can you still do it?

36:54

And I think this is one of the greatest calls you ever

36:56

took. And a fellow called him. And

36:58

he's doing, I said, don't make the bad football, make

37:00

it that football supported. But beyond that, make

37:03

it about radio. And that's

37:05

the thing with 606. And what I mean

37:07

by that is I think people who are not necessarily

37:09

interested in football, when I used

37:11

to do this on the last story, actually, I noticed

37:13

the told this, people might think, oh,

37:16

here comes a football story. Well, yes, it is. But

37:18

it's also radio. So this fellow called, he said, you

37:20

want to know, at the getting in the grounds for

37:22

nothing, he said, I've had the greatest run of the

37:24

last couple of years. He said, I'm willing

37:26

to sacrifice it all to tell you this. He said,

37:29

I work in Europe a lot. He

37:31

said, when I'm in Belgium, he said, I had this

37:34

idea, because I needed a

37:36

team that wasn't absolutely top-ranked, but

37:38

it really wasn't obscure. He said, so

37:40

I've been in Belgium. I went to

37:42

standard Liage's ground. And

37:44

I said, I'm an English businessman. And

37:47

I collect ties from every major

37:49

European club. And I would love the standard Liage title.

37:51

And they told me they don't sell the standard Liage

37:53

title. I said, what I'm going to do is I'm

37:56

going to make a huge collection of them and donate

37:58

them for charity and auction them off. Philadelphia

38:01

and he said there's only you and Roma who haven't

38:03

done it. Now there wasn't a brain of truth in

38:05

this. He had no collection of European ties. He wasn't

38:07

going to alternate but he needed a standard Liage tie.

38:10

Anyway eventually for like 50 euros they

38:12

gave him a standard Liage club tie.

38:15

He came home, he then got some

38:17

A4 note paper and put standard Liage's heading

38:20

on all the note paper and wrote all the

38:22

Premier League rounds saying one of our representatives will be

38:24

in your area and they come along to the

38:26

game and he said every single club wrote back and

38:28

said yes there'd be two seats asked and so

38:30

and so. He said I was winding down. He said

38:33

I put on my standard Liage tie and

38:35

then he said I made the best seats

38:38

in everywhere and he said I promise you

38:40

then Everton tried to sell me two players.

38:45

And he told other stories of other grounds he's been to

38:48

and because standard Liage maybe they

38:50

knew and he said apart from that he said is so

38:52

is Michelle still there? No I think

38:54

Michelle left and just wing it. He

38:57

went into every single ground he bought a

38:59

standard Liage tie and that that

39:01

was the beauty of 606 and that when I was

39:04

asked to do a video a football video I'd

39:06

said yeah yeah we can do his virgin video

39:09

and what they wanted was 50 great

39:11

goals and I said oh no no do

39:13

listen to the show I said you need

39:15

50 great own goals. I said

39:17

because football sport was like that better you

39:19

know referees getting hit with a ball missing

39:21

a golden five and that's

39:24

how that was bought. They just wanted

39:26

half a day with me saying here's another great

39:28

shop everyone remember Alpino when he did this I

39:30

said no I'll write it I'll write and I'll

39:32

write a funny script for it and fortunately because

39:34

they sold through the roof. I mean

39:36

this house huge house I'm sitting in

39:39

there partially bought by own goals and gas

39:41

and the other half divided by Daz washing

39:43

powder. I

39:48

was on at the same time all of that.

39:50

Did they go and find the own goals and

39:52

gaffes and come to you and then you're just

39:54

sitting up. Yeah the first was a half a day session

39:57

I said we're never going to be able to do all this I thought

39:59

I was coming in right. I mean, they said no just go

40:01

and they were of the attitude as was the attitude

40:03

at the time It's all right. You don't have to

40:05

do every one of them just every now and then

40:07

go here's another sexual really enjoy I said no Not

40:10

because I'm a perfectionist or a awful no I wouldn't

40:12

buy that and so I said look you've been acting

40:14

me all the tapes to go home Of course, they

40:16

said well the budget's gonna any rate But I wrote

40:18

it nice to send round VHS is and I said

40:21

just assemble them the first one you can tell

40:23

that I'm up against I'm but the next one's

40:25

right on goals against to him right hammer ins

40:28

and we sell out badly I said actually wonder about

40:30

best of us everybody had three videos Naked

40:37

commerce involved like the jokes

40:39

for him and one time Yeah, that's how I

40:41

got to go to the World Cups because it

40:44

beep see I was sending out the World Cups

40:46

I was in Italian 90 the Gaza World Cup.

40:48

Yeah, USA me and Danny Kelly were painted We

40:51

investment ago nagger in New York France

40:54

night guy I did and when you

40:56

entered the Italian 90 Did you know

40:58

Gaza at that point? Because there's I had

41:00

a book that was called Gaza my life

41:02

and pictures that I bought after

41:06

Italian 90 and in

41:08

it he lists you as one

41:10

of his heroes Oh, it's very nice

41:12

to know we met before on

41:14

Golden Gaffs because of this rising in ho

41:16

it's like in media You flavor the

41:18

month and I was yeah, I had a pretty good

41:20

mum Yeah But it had to be for a while

41:22

until everyone's sick of the site here and that's quite

41:25

a true in Expanded you go fire have dolls of

41:27

me that were all on screen at the same time

41:29

because I was doing And

41:32

they were all going these dolls one of them here

41:34

somewhere Wendy bought it for me We're

41:41

going it's coming Andy a few times I Mean

41:44

panned on BBC one in five minutes Danny Baker will

41:47

be here with an image to me if I'm an

41:49

on ITV and all these dolls will Russia in game

41:54

Literally that hanging off

41:56

the top of the screen that's when I thought I

41:59

think I might be spraying. Really

42:03

meant you had a casual one knows not us to

42:05

do is don't have to the brush video. right?

42:07

In know emphasis on Arsenio not making

42:09

breakfast with him on some in his

42:11

kitchen yeah, abies his videos litigious. The

42:14

host the I do remember this. The

42:16

first I'll make which going to do it

42:18

and he was very disease very shy and

42:20

extraordinary. Funny and a cosmic be bored and

42:22

is it be a mofo spoke about when

42:24

that means. We. Met at his

42:27

dad's Spice. Waves. Not Brookside.

42:29

An older houses in this little. Color.

42:31

Sex table for his mom is dead

42:34

The sisters to answer these a else

42:36

is Tammy Baldwin full Anyway we went

42:38

out that noise to earth night club

42:40

called book was we ended up in

42:42

mean you may increase lot of a

42:44

thing. Doesn't count drink is another

42:46

en caso together they gather tells the you

42:48

can never during his seen pouring drinks away

42:50

lot of is a table was to enable

42:52

someone to shoes in like to get the

42:54

impression some other football is consumed so in

42:57

order. Here our when abdominal is

42:59

tiger. drove up inside the posts and I

43:01

mean more kinds. Of cloth you

43:03

mm one. Models. Are

43:06

always falcao of a nightgown. And.

43:08

Also told Mister Vader and then little the first

43:10

acts as well enjoy it As we say I

43:12

say we we boil alliance and evil robots and

43:14

it'll her Chris excess is still in here is

43:17

still in at he just walk off on his

43:19

own phobias it an alliance be I ended up

43:21

his of know whether him and let this one

43:23

night we came out. Weeping. And a few

43:25

tabs. all of a new cause we ended up nice moves,

43:27

nightclub, And. Always an innocence

43:30

poop You know it's recent cell and

43:32

seven so either next morning. In.

43:34

A A Gym. I. Sent older

43:36

ago that they'll tell suppose anybody else helena

43:39

from the border the Of telescope. A

43:41

citizen who on a tablet has had no target

43:43

of write it down for many really damaged sit

43:45

still get it is and you vote or when

43:47

some didn't know Newcastle it's all went outside up

43:49

the refers cabin or showed him the bit a

43:51

pipe dream it. On. your way oh

43:53

i know him on it but then it's well

43:56

known are to detect know tasmania will end of

43:58

the next was him I said, what's

44:00

the problem going on? He said, and he put it to

44:02

the other side of the road, he said, it's that man,

44:04

it's this. It's just the other side of

44:06

the road, we can get it to have outside. Anyway, next

44:08

morning, I had a bit of a head on me, and

44:10

I went along 7th and 3rd to start filming his video.

44:13

I got there, and the crew were all there,

44:16

I said, well, good luck with Gazra. I said, I only left him about

44:18

three hours ago. He was still in the club, he said,

44:20

no, he's here. I said, he's downstairs

44:23

where the boilers are. To heat this

44:25

place, it's a big swimming pool, and

44:27

it's quite modern. And the bloke there

44:29

said, that's where he goes when he comes in here, and I

44:31

went down there, and he had a skipping rope, and

44:34

he was kind of sweating booze out of it,

44:36

doing skipping, like a boxer getting ready with the

44:38

sweat streaming up his nose. And he would do

44:40

half an hour of that. It was unbelievable to

44:42

watch, and he was fine after that, it was

44:45

absolutely fine. Yeah. Here's the thing with Paul, I

44:48

remember we went on to St. James's Park. Was he playing

44:50

for Newcastle or Spurs at this point? Spurs, he was at

44:52

Tottenham, I think, and he must have been. But we went

44:54

on to St. James's Park, and did looking around, thinking old

44:56

memories, but one more way of being able to set up,

44:58

he'd always get a kid and say, go

45:00

and go. And the kid said, Dan, penalty,

45:03

penalty. I said, Paul, Gaskell, now it's going to be

45:05

the play penalty. Okay, yeah, no problem at all. I

45:07

mean, we were good friends. But Gazzie,

45:09

an issue is the key to Gazzie's psyche. He would

45:12

say, Dan, right, you can just take penalties,

45:14

but I've got to run up backwards, and I can

45:16

only do it, like, and put in one foot behind

45:18

his leg, and do it as either a back heel

45:21

or as a clip. I said, no,

45:23

you know, I'm not too bad at football.

45:25

I said, no, he couldn't. And Chris Waddell

45:28

and all the others told us, he has

45:30

to give you the advantage, or he's got

45:33

no interest in it. Unless he's at

45:35

the disadvantage, he'll beat you. That's

45:37

fascinating. Because it wasn't just football. I remember going

45:39

from the first time I went to his parents'

45:42

place, there was a room that was

45:44

absolutely shelved to every side,

45:46

and full of trophies. But they weren't, all right,

45:48

I've got half of them at the football as

45:51

a kid. But them fishing trophies. there were

45:53

snooker trophies, there were darts trophies. It's got

45:55

that thing, that kind of rind-man thing, and

45:58

sport is it. It against

46:00

him a snooker he would do that same safe

46:02

on know that used to eight Gb used to

46:04

end up going on use one hand and do

46:06

it and about use this I ended these and

46:08

it is Sir Paul don't no no no no

46:10

and he would be here when you bad does.

46:13

This. New in a local up to me when he

46:15

says that my and as a proxy say oh don't

46:17

tell themselves then stuff i'm not the on he said

46:19

to have the. Site's. Pointed

46:21

towards a double and the spirit towards his

46:24

nose and he was spin it and still

46:26

be a for how to do that he

46:28

had to do that. I've always he had

46:30

no interest in it and he would be

46:32

a fast mods enable tennis he wouldn't have

46:34

a bet is uses hate. Us

46:37

for firewood so we don't notice what

46:39

you do A bigger is absolute absolute

46:41

false and Niger own gas s is

46:44

honorable. I think it was one of

46:46

the or goes and guess videos but

46:48

didn't you get his shorts from Italian?

46:50

Ninety. The. Ago he said when

46:52

we beat Poland is. In. Your ninety

46:54

six for one hell are share the guess

46:56

go ensure Oh my god what builds and

46:58

another thing we pull if you always do

47:00

in L but shirts from him from rangers

47:03

and middle borrowed a whole it's a would.

47:05

Just. Always for we stay at someone to

47:07

come out and I didn't think the morning and

47:09

attaboy now. While couple of English yes

47:11

it is but that is oranges one he signed

47:14

in the I daniel own will be Scooby Wright

47:16

and around it it is extraordinary. I've never met

47:18

anyone like him in one peloton are expected bossing

47:20

all was know someone a bit like him. he

47:22

and a set of his toes me to be

47:24

bored. All that stuff we haven't the slightest thing.

47:27

That. Risk and spoke at the end is what

47:29

is will yeah but he didn't really money combat

47:31

non didn't know anyone who didn't hotel and office

47:33

hours on know send him with a bad patch.

47:35

I spoke to him that five years been nominated

47:37

telling you. I think is part of

47:40

them while stamps Now when people have told not

47:42

to the in such well friends with his legend

47:44

of old I was always a on the less

47:46

Cynthia as be no wasn't old from the We

47:48

and elitists we been leveling the grass hopes are

47:50

but I see meme and for sevens in a

47:52

pub and just they want to have been there

47:55

all day and Trevino only be rambling house you

47:57

still have been real my Us have seen you

47:59

write about. You're likely to hang out in

48:01

your family home. He loved that feeling of

48:03

being with family home. Absolutely loved

48:05

Eight! Sleep On the I'm. So.

48:08

Close in age. As to

48:10

sleep about two hours a night he couldn't sleep

48:12

and soda in them days is nearly died after

48:14

an aversion. Been on. All. Night and

48:16

he just had the telly allow the sober. Picked.

48:19

gossiping or next to him and was

48:21

a story of for guidance. Of

48:23

told to times a time Realm once we've been out

48:26

and he came back know put him on the say.

48:28

And. We had a don't include to isn't. A.

48:31

Big muscular Mongol dog but he didn't like

48:33

and he won A didn't like any one

48:35

and he's a woods follow through his growls

48:37

him and gas always like to be. didn't

48:39

never meet him so that's to talk to

48:41

them in the back room is gathered Com

48:43

a did not lie strange it didn't anyone

48:45

rated. We took me to put down three

48:47

times and never thought about brought in a

48:49

cell phone. Or

48:53

not, he loves us up. There are no one

48:55

else. a Texas. the com roman who's in it

48:58

is has imperfect city on a cell block, advocates

49:00

and probably now. You say depth of episode

49:02

to Islam? We loved him any right Sir

49:04

Paul Time round. And it just. Browsing

49:06

Much to say Nimoy? Gov gotta see drink

49:08

Suzanne on the cellphone. A center poll. Double.

49:11

as they are right outside as the

49:13

remote for the telly. I bought Monday

49:15

meal on so no no, no, listen

49:17

and. Don't. Go indicated you but every

49:19

on it I'm going to get into dogs are

49:22

indications I am on another site. Is involved

49:24

in it will get good you know? Yeah yeah I did. Dogs

49:26

in.riot Oh right to know I'll say to move in. I. Saw.

49:29

One a bed, And. Of have an alibi.

49:31

Ah eyelids. Cyborgs

49:33

I just saw when she was

49:35

they have gone down the stairs

49:37

and near. His toys or and know in

49:39

the home. Just a lot in

49:41

sales and like a cannibal at the door

49:44

trying to push out middle class gas is

49:46

on the other side holding the handle. An

49:48

older is Odyssey side L gas. And all

49:50

the oldest was not fully night in a kitchen. says

49:53

moved on in it open the door and

49:55

he looked is pressing down was albeit not

49:57

be going on and he looked so silks

49:59

as What's the matter with you? What's

50:01

the matter with you? What did I say? He went, I know,

50:03

I know what I said. But what did I say? And

50:06

he said, well, I just kept thinking about

50:08

him and thinking about him. And I said, yeah, yeah.

50:10

And he went and then I thought, well, how fucking

50:12

hard is he? Oh,

50:16

we're never no kitchen door. And he flew

50:18

at me. I said, you said,

50:21

how hard is he? It

50:24

was played for England at the time. You got a

50:26

right bad point on his leg. Oh, my word. He

50:28

thought he was hilarious. I

50:30

guess around my ass once when he

50:32

had a one of his injuries and because he kept

50:34

him scorned in, they put a tracker

50:37

inside the cast. He

50:39

had just below the knee. So they felt like

50:41

a lost dog. They could find out where he

50:43

was. Anyway, he tore it out

50:45

and he turned up our place and England was

50:47

playing Mexico or something. I don't know that he

50:50

wasn't obviously able to play. He's

50:52

one of them where the commentator said, no, Paul

50:54

Gaskin, not even sending with the squad tonight and

50:56

Terry Venable has got it. He said, how's Paul

50:59

doing? Why is he not here this evening? Because

51:01

he'd always be there even as injured. Well,

51:03

Paul's actually got a treatment tonight and we thought

51:05

it best and playing the Terry Venable. So I

51:08

don't know where he is. And he was sitting

51:10

in my front room watching this interview and realizing

51:12

for the first time it doesn't swing back. Oh,

51:14

fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. I can't get your

51:16

cab there, Paul. You ain't going to buy it.

51:18

You know, when he thought Terry Venable said, well,

51:20

we don't know where he is. Well, of course,

51:23

he has all the best. But it just absconded

51:25

him. He was watching the England game from my

51:27

front room rather than being with the squad as

51:29

he was supposed to. But that incredible

51:31

recklessness was that was his fault. And

51:33

he'll remain so. And it's no one

51:36

should ever, ever forget how good

51:38

he is. And what happened to him when Glenn Oddle didn't

51:40

pick him for? I remember when

51:42

that happened. Well, you booked anyway. You

51:44

did. Have I got news for you

51:46

that week? Did I? You

51:48

did. There you go. I had

51:50

a career I insist we call an end. I

51:56

don't know about news for you at the end of time. Really

52:00

like it was always like you're a spokesman for his

52:02

defense. No, I did that. No, no, no quite rightly

52:04

I thought it was a wicked thing. They're not all

52:07

you know, they're no grudge these days But then he

52:09

took a lead in a by Robert Lee

52:11

instead of Lee at the time and even

52:13

so people said oh Well guys it was

52:15

no there wasn't there wasn't a squat in

52:17

the world With guys it was

52:19

on the bench and was brought on after

52:21

70 minutes We're done hello because he had

52:24

that thing where he could turn a game

52:26

right if only for morale But he wasn't

52:28

he'd already panted book hotel rooms for his

52:30

family had done all that and it was

52:32

that was actually it's pointed and nasty I

52:35

always thought he's like Salieri in Amadeus who

52:37

couldn't bear motor coming along and being

52:39

this child How can he

52:41

steal my grand? There was a lot of jealousy the

52:43

walls ball and that was the moment They're kind of

52:46

tipped him into over the edge. Did you hear that

52:48

from Gaza? Like were you close enough to him? So

52:50

I didn't have these just absolutely distraught Because

52:53

even even it can make us laugh

52:55

and laugh and not all his life It's

52:57

not good, but you can always see

52:59

behind his eyes because he was never this clown

53:01

He wasn't the false press swearing

53:03

if that would people leave him alone That's

53:06

what he'll do but you could always see in the back of

53:08

his eyes. He thought Because of

53:10

this gift this literally a gift in the perfect sense

53:12

of like the gods who's given him But he thought

53:14

what then you can do this and he said he

53:16

had no real respect for his own talent He never

53:19

did because he could do anything like that, but he

53:21

could always see a time more am I gonna do?

53:23

What am I gonna do and he always knew one

53:26

day? He's gonna be back on

53:28

his own again because he was a tremendous loner

53:30

Yeah, we were being crystal up. Certainly. I was

53:32

very good bring bro. Well, so was Chris But

53:34

it wasn't like he was ever gonna turn into

53:36

a pundit or anything like that No, I've never

53:38

known a national reaction to him. You walk down

53:40

the street with him Yeah, it was

53:42

like to imagine Madonna would give her IT

53:45

to be greeted So buses would stop people

53:47

would shout out It was just extraordinary and

53:49

there's never been a footballer with that and he

53:51

was the last hurrah of them pretty

53:53

much the mad football As in but yeah, even

53:56

though everyone's got tons and tons

53:58

of tells he wasn't the nuisance and

54:00

it wasn't wearing to be around him. Yeah.

54:02

Told you it would be. You'd

54:08

be in a really good restaurant and

54:10

you'd get up and you'd come back and it'd sit opposite

54:12

you. And you could see

54:14

his eyes dancing. I said, oh, where

54:16

you been? He went, no way. I said, Paul,

54:19

he was five minutes gone and he'd done something.

54:21

I'm specifically good, but you just, I said,

54:23

Paul, I've come here a lot. Have you

54:26

been in the kitchens and

54:28

locked him in? What have you thrown all the meat on

54:30

the floor? I don't know. It wasn't always as flat out

54:32

grass as that. Why not? This

54:34

now sounds unbelievable. I'll

54:36

tell you about when I was out and I saw that game when

54:38

he was in the semi-final, you know, he has his tears and never

54:41

worked with him. This

54:43

game people think, oh, these stories are just

54:45

legends, but this is all these absolutely true.

54:48

I was doing them. I was doing a talk sport. One

54:51

of the, anyone was doing one of their shows and

54:53

England were playing Uruguay or something

54:55

in a friendly and

54:57

it was a six o'clock kickoff and I finished mine

55:00

at five the afternoon thing I

55:02

was doing and he'd said, come

55:05

and pick us up and we'll go out. But

55:07

it's coming back to my place or something. There

55:09

was me, there was press Evans and a few isn't it? We

55:11

got a vein. I think he'd

55:14

provided it and he said he drew us a map

55:16

of the old Wembley. It's around the back. There's

55:18

these doors. He said, be there like

55:21

I don't know. I think it was a six o'clock pickup. He said, be there

55:23

a quarter past seven. I was

55:25

on the air to six. That's right. It's football results.

55:27

So off we went to Wembley from

55:29

the West End of London and we got

55:31

there about 10 past seven

55:33

or something and he was still

55:35

playing as we're approaching it. I can hear the,

55:37

we're listening at the comments and he's still on

55:39

it. I promise you then as we're getting towards

55:41

this area around the back of Wembley, we're turning

55:43

into that. A couple of

55:46

substitutions for England. Gas lines coming off

55:48

and so and we got to this designated area

55:50

with an X on it like an old

55:52

pirate map here drawing us and we were there

55:54

and he'd been substituted about five minutes before it.

55:57

So we settled back and these double doors.

56:00

and open and out he came

56:02

in his England kit but street shoes holding a tip

56:04

bag with his coat over it and jumped in the

56:06

back and then he'd come off the pitch he picked

56:08

up his bag and changed his boots as soon as

56:10

he gets in says like Chris or whoever's there you

56:13

want them boots? then he'd all be hitting himself at

56:15

any rate that is astounding enough that he

56:17

came straight out the pitch straight out the double doors

56:19

into our van and he said eeeh

56:21

he said that's a long gas beam it should be all right

56:23

so we turned back to go out a whim and

56:25

the game's still going on no debriefing

56:28

together so off we've gone and we only

56:30

went about five six

56:32

minutes up the road and there's

56:34

a pub on the side of the road and Chris there goes

56:36

a pub going stop here stop here we'll have a quick and

56:38

then we'll go on oh wait Gazza's still wearing his England kit

56:40

with his shoes I promise you this is the best we

56:43

got out I said what do we all

56:45

want? because you're kind of a new it's for the

56:47

mania of this and I went in and I bought I don't know

56:49

three or four points of lager and there

56:52

were loads of blokes in the pub watching the

56:54

game people outside having a cigarette and stuff and

56:56

it's Gazza and they're like oh Gazza you know so

56:58

I come in and he's got a cigarette on and

57:00

he's drunk he's got his back

57:02

to the traffic now the game's finished now and

57:05

the traffic is coming out of Wembley and people

57:07

are going along the pub and they're like look

57:09

at that sad bastard it is Paul Gaskoy now

57:11

and he's got his back to the traffic and

57:13

then I said well grown man look at him

57:15

where he's got the socks and shorts on and he

57:18

was he

57:21

wouldn't go into a pub and find a dark corner

57:23

he was outside chatting on the pavement having a cigarette

57:25

with his back to the traffic after

57:27

a England game and as much as like people

57:29

think well it's that shockingly unprofessional there's been no

57:32

one you know what because what he actually did

57:34

on the page he would say well it's going

57:36

to super affect him it did later on in

57:38

his life but no control of it but he

57:40

wasn't a great drinker but he was an enormous

57:43

personality you ready?

57:45

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58:47

The first World Cup I ever went to wasn't, I

58:50

said it was to the BBC, it wasn't. I

58:52

was doing a show, I was on ITV then. And

58:55

it was this show I mentioned earlier, you know, when it's

58:57

kind of a newsy show and thing. England

58:59

were playing Italy in Italian 90

59:01

in the semi-final, playing West Germany

59:04

in Italy of course. And there was

59:06

a big news story three or four days before it

59:08

saying, don't bother trying to

59:10

book flights, you can't book flights. There are no tickets for

59:12

this game. England's boards are told not to travel. It's

59:15

completely sold at no hotel rooms booked. And

59:17

so in this kind of meeting for the show, they

59:19

took turns at that. And I can't remember who it was, one of

59:21

the producers said, that's a story in that

59:23

though, isn't it? Because there's no more flights and

59:26

no more, you can't get trains. And they said to me, Dan,

59:28

if you have a hitchhiked, I said,

59:30

no, I haven't. I said, that'll be the

59:32

story. Now this is the very early days

59:34

of video cameras, tell you 90 video cameras.

59:36

I said, look, none of these

59:38

TV diaries have been done. I said, this will be

59:40

the story. We will get ITV

59:42

spot to let you into the ground

59:44

if you can get out there under your own steam and

59:47

record it for the show. So I

59:49

thought that's a pretty good thing. I said, no, we'll get

59:51

you as far as the coast. And after that, they

59:53

drew it. I said, if you can get to Paris and then get

59:55

to here, then you can get all these things. You've

59:58

got 24 hours. need

1:00:00

four hours to try and get out there

1:00:02

pitching and walking and doing whatever you can.

1:00:04

Okay don't go ahead. So they dropped me

1:00:06

down the coast and there was this line

1:00:08

of lorries waiting to take a ferries over

1:00:11

and I got me a little camera and they showed us

1:00:13

and everyone else had driven off and

1:00:16

I thought I'll walk along the line of lorries

1:00:18

explaining what's happening. So I turned on my video

1:00:20

camera and I held our arms and him doing

1:00:22

the selfie thing and I said right so as

1:00:24

you just heard in the studio here I am

1:00:26

oh exactly 19 hours now

1:00:28

till they kick off in Turin and

1:00:31

I have got to find a way of going along

1:00:33

here my first stop I've understood I've got to get

1:00:35

across the channel and then try and pick up another

1:00:37

lorry that get me to Paris where I've heard there's

1:00:39

another lorry park that's the way I'm gonna travel all

1:00:42

the way and hopefully fingers crossed I can get there

1:00:44

to see the boys come out against Germany in now

1:00:46

18 and a half hours anyway wish

1:00:48

me luck it's gonna be an incredible ride I'll try

1:00:50

and bring her as much as I can and by

1:00:52

now I'm at the front of the lorries and

1:00:55

I said let's see how we doing I knocked on this

1:00:57

lorry diver and a bloat lent out and I said hello

1:00:59

mate I said listen mate where you going

1:01:01

he said Turin do you want to live? I

1:01:08

turned off and I went back to him and

1:01:10

I said could you say you're going to Antwerp

1:01:13

or something and you give me a lift he

1:01:15

went I'm not he had a load of cherries

1:01:17

and I said I know but there's very little

1:01:19

story in it. Anyway

1:01:23

I went back and did it all again I

1:01:25

said where you going? and he said Antwerp I

1:01:27

said could you give me a lift across

1:01:29

the channel okay you're hopping you know anyway he

1:01:32

took me all the way to Turin I got

1:01:34

out there and spent five hours but every now

1:01:37

and then would stop if you saw another lorry

1:01:39

would stop and I said well thanks for that

1:01:41

lift right I'm gonna rush this ferry and we

1:01:43

made up the entire thing at a magnificent lunch

1:01:45

in Turin a lovely afternoon in the bars on

1:01:48

my own and then like 20 minutes before the

1:01:50

kickoff I turned on the camera again and rushed

1:01:52

towards him and I'm like right it's only 20

1:01:54

minutes to take off and I found out I'd

1:01:57

been there all day and there I get in

1:02:00

That is the magic of television. One

1:02:03

thing I saw outside the ground, always

1:02:05

that is where it was as I'm queuing to get in, I

1:02:07

wish I filmed it. There was all

1:02:10

the police or the English supporters, we

1:02:12

were patted down everywhere. And

1:02:14

every English supporter who had a flag, they

1:02:16

were taking the flags pulled

1:02:19

out and giving them the flag back. Except for one bloke

1:02:21

who was, I was in this little, I know I had

1:02:23

nothing like that or bags of research.

1:02:25

But this copper here, he was like, they're all

1:02:27

private pike in dad's army. He sat up his store

1:02:29

and everyone moved over to that to get in

1:02:31

quicker. And he took the flag

1:02:33

off and gave them back the stick. And

1:02:35

it's superior from running in Italian. So the

1:02:38

other way around, I know he

1:02:40

said like, high

1:02:42

comedy, everyone cheered because

1:02:46

he was taking the flag off and giving people back the

1:02:48

stick. Anyway,

1:02:51

it surprised me. The other thing I remember from

1:02:53

that, I was the ticket ITB sport guide of

1:02:55

us was amongst a lot

1:02:57

of German supporters. There was

1:02:59

a lot of English football, mainly I was amongst German

1:03:01

supporters. And I never forget when it went to penalties,

1:03:04

one of them tapped me on the shoulder and this is the attitude

1:03:07

of the German supporters, probably still to this day,

1:03:09

he tapped me on the shoulder and said, it

1:03:11

goes to penalties. I think we win now. Nobody

1:03:14

has that attitude of penalties, did they? And

1:03:18

of course they did. One more, half

1:03:20

time, all the English supporters

1:03:22

were above us. Let's go to the disco. Let's go

1:03:24

to the disco. And all the English

1:03:26

supporters were above us, mainly in another tier above us.

1:03:29

And you know, when the halftime whistle

1:03:31

goes, every time a halftime whistle goes,

1:03:33

you hear it and there's about

1:03:35

a second of silence before a man goes

1:03:37

or starts booing or whatever, there's this kind

1:03:40

of, take good breath. If you ever really

1:03:42

referee blow for halftime, you're eep, eep,

1:03:44

eep, and there's that bit. And then the

1:03:46

roar started, but everyone can hear that. It

1:03:48

goes very quietly for that second. One

1:03:51

of the great non-sequiturs of my life in

1:03:54

that Stadio del Appian Turin. We're

1:03:56

all sitting in the halftime whistle, and

1:03:58

in that second. I broke about

1:04:01

10 rows in front, jumped up, looked

1:04:03

up, the audience support was masked in the

1:04:05

stand above us. He just turned and went,

1:04:08

"'Cave, tell him again what colour

1:04:10

your set he is.' I will never

1:04:12

know what could have been about the

1:04:14

colour." And then all the noise, I'm

1:04:17

going, "'Well, what colour one set he

1:04:19

is?' Why would

1:04:21

he wait until half time to have been mated?

1:04:23

Cave, he said, "'Tell him again what colour

1:04:25

your set he is.'" Anyway,

1:04:27

so I did that. They got me

1:04:30

all out of a muddy bond. The night is always

1:04:32

stuck down in talking about when we drew with Rotherham.

1:04:35

We did get our new ground in the 90s. The

1:04:37

old den went. Yes. Do you know who opened

1:04:39

the new den? An MP, wasn't it?

1:04:42

Yes, John Smith, the leader of the Labour Party.

1:04:44

Was it John Smith? I didn't know it was

1:04:46

John Smith. I remember the

1:04:48

grandiose plans they had for it. They were

1:04:50

going to be, James Brown was going to

1:04:52

have a concert there. There was going to

1:04:54

be regular festivals there and England games, none

1:04:56

of which. You must

1:04:58

remember the first teams to get one of those

1:05:00

new grounds at that stage, were you? Yes. There

1:05:03

was a couple around and it was

1:05:05

very difficult for the first few years and even now

1:05:07

to say, I miss the old ground.

1:05:09

You come off with grandad, but you do. It's

1:05:11

a nice ground, but it's any old ground. We bet

1:05:13

it in pretty well now, but it's any old ground.

1:05:15

Whereas the other one was famously always

1:05:18

described as a big old trap. And yes, it

1:05:20

was. But the other one's not too far from

1:05:22

it. We are now still in the shadow of

1:05:24

the Rotherham incinerator. It's a

1:05:26

massive incinerator next to me. I mean,

1:05:28

massive. It's like a skyscraper, but all

1:05:31

it is, it takes all right, your

1:05:33

own jokes here, everyone. All the rubbish from

1:05:35

South East London and burns it.

1:05:37

And during games, it's all coming up there.

1:05:39

Like the old set of people around me,

1:05:41

that's all the betting slips you've had before

1:05:44

the game going up. What we'll do now,

1:05:46

it's still an attractive part of the world to

1:05:49

go to, but yeah, the old ground was any

1:05:52

pro or two, just absolutely terrifying.

1:05:54

What was so intimidating about,

1:05:56

why was it so bad?

1:05:58

Oh, great. depending on your

1:06:00

viewpoint. Well, are you because, you know, people talk

1:06:02

about it now, but it's closed down five times

1:06:05

by the authorities in the 20th century. Well,

1:06:07

because the supporters, they're not just verbal, and

1:06:09

that's the terrible thing, it's kind of a

1:06:11

light laugh. They were right on top here,

1:06:13

they are extraordinary, vocal,

1:06:16

I love it when God love them,

1:06:19

but you know, Ipswich or Bristol Road has

1:06:21

come down, and immediately after five minutes, there's

1:06:23

a library, it's a library, it's not the

1:06:25

trap they thought, but you're not gonna really get it up,

1:06:28

I agree with you, I'm sure they will. No,

1:06:30

you know, if they're playing a local,

1:06:32

but you know, it's like, you

1:06:35

can't even be bothered to think who the fuck in L.A.U., because, yes,

1:06:38

in Niven, anyway, but. So

1:06:40

the old ground, I don't romance this, I

1:06:42

just say, I never understood why you would,

1:06:44

I don't care whether there's six

1:06:47

types of cuisine available, or indeed, toilets every

1:06:49

eight yards, give us a defense that can

1:06:51

clear a corner. If I'm all too glad

1:06:53

at 90 minutes, this ain't wrong with you,

1:06:55

go away. I have to say, on 626,

1:06:57

which is quite popular, but it's all right

1:06:59

in the ground, but it's, it's, it's actually

1:07:01

generic, but the old ground wasn't, I

1:07:03

saw a kid be sick off the floodlights at the old ground,

1:07:07

at the bottom of the floodlights. When

1:07:09

I'm in the sixties, there was no, well,

1:07:11

see branding, or you couldn't buy merchandise, but

1:07:13

Huddersfield were quite a big hub, and I

1:07:16

always wanted a Millwall shirt, and Millwall

1:07:18

played in blue and white stripes in the sixties, and

1:07:20

at Christmas 65, there's a photo

1:07:22

of it in one of the books, me dad's

1:07:25

got a Huddersfield shirt, and he had to

1:07:27

go up to the West End again, and

1:07:29

only about five or six club shirts available

1:07:31

anywhere, certainly in boy sizes, and

1:07:33

because we had blue and white stripes around the

1:07:35

cuffs and neck as well, me mum stayed up

1:07:37

on Christmas Eve, it's a great, anyway, and sold

1:07:40

in blue ribbon there. Yeah. So

1:07:42

it really looked like it, but you couldn't get

1:07:44

any merchandise. We old man went down to try

1:07:46

and buy a shirt, and he knocked on,

1:07:48

there's no hub shop, obviously, it wasn't just a

1:07:50

window. Only chance of another shirt, and he tried

1:07:52

to bribe something to give him a shirt, and

1:07:54

he had to buy one in, I think the shirt's got a tame and

1:07:56

all of that, and the only, you know,

1:07:59

all merchandises have become. available in

1:08:01

the 1960s was a

1:08:03

pennant on sale and this went

1:08:05

around there a state like, if you didn't buy this Millwall

1:08:07

pen, you could have seen it in the south on the

1:08:09

press, there's 200 and 200 only turn

1:08:12

up and for five shillings you

1:08:14

could have the clump pennant. Now what,

1:08:16

because there's no photos in newspapers and

1:08:18

any of that, so we all went

1:08:21

down and queued up and this pennant as it turned

1:08:23

out was made out of the most, it

1:08:25

was the toughest kind of felt you've ever known

1:08:27

in your life, it was about three foot long,

1:08:30

it was triangular, right and it was about three

1:08:32

foot long, this really cheap felt that would not

1:08:34

bend, okay and there was

1:08:36

the Millwall kind of, our badge

1:08:38

at the time, right, which we couldn't

1:08:40

buy that, the badge at Millwall badge

1:08:43

which I really wanted, that we didn't

1:08:45

have a design team because the badge was big,

1:08:47

fat and square and it had a mill on

1:08:49

it, four pictures in four quarters, a mill, a

1:08:52

wall, a lion

1:08:54

and a ball, right and the

1:08:57

pennant had that and then where

1:08:59

other teams had all their achievements

1:09:01

over the years, Intercity Spares Cup

1:09:04

winners, so and so, the league

1:09:06

champions, we've never done anything,

1:09:08

it's absolutely true, we've never done anything

1:09:11

and it had three different sections on this pennant

1:09:14

and it had league division three runners

1:09:16

up, 1953-54, league division four runners

1:09:20

up at 1961-62 and then there was

1:09:22

another space and it just said, floodlights

1:09:25

introduced, 1953, they had nothing

1:09:27

more to put there, so

1:09:29

they put them in our

1:09:31

first floodlights put in and

1:09:34

please show aside, they would shine into my

1:09:36

bedroom window, the other side of the railway archery,

1:09:39

the floodlights over it then but that I

1:09:41

had proudly on my wall, that we may all

1:09:43

got there but I did know that my

1:09:45

mates who were West Am supporters, they

1:09:47

seemed to have done so much and

1:09:49

our other boast was that we had

1:09:51

the floodlights introduced in 1953, incredible, sons

1:09:54

got it as am I, son, I'm in Hawaii

1:09:56

but it still ain't a cheer about but it doesn't matter, as

1:09:58

you all know, as you all know. anyone listen

1:10:00

to this, it really don't matter in

1:10:02

the end. Anyway, gentlemen, sorry I said

1:10:04

we've just did nostalgia. Well, no, that's

1:10:06

what we're here for. With TFI, because

1:10:08

obviously one of the central things to the

1:10:11

90s was TFI Friday, which you were

1:10:13

the joint mastermind of with Chris Evans. Yeah, thank you

1:10:15

very much. Very nice, it starts in love writing it,

1:10:17

yeah. You used to have, you

1:10:20

had Des Leinem on there, you had

1:10:22

Terry Venables. What was it like having

1:10:24

those footballing legends down there? Because obviously

1:10:26

it was a kind of different world

1:10:28

for them. I

1:10:30

mean, because Gazza was on there

1:10:32

before, he was going to go off to World Cup they

1:10:34

didn't pick him for. And I sometimes

1:10:36

think the resentment, because

1:10:38

he liked to accept him part and

1:10:40

parcel, he didn't. And just before the squad was

1:10:42

going to be announced, he was on TFI and

1:10:45

we had him in a packing crate downstairs where the bands

1:10:48

were on wheels. And we said, we don't want anything to

1:10:50

happen to him over the next two weeks, you know, wherever

1:10:52

the squad was going to be. And he was in there,

1:10:54

we were all padding around him. And there

1:10:56

was a bottle of beer in it. And we

1:10:58

wheeled him around the studio and everyone was clapping

1:11:00

and all that. And I often wonder whether the

1:11:02

F.A. thought, oh, I think there's been foregone conclusions

1:11:04

here. And that may, I don't know, but even

1:11:06

the songs they made at the time, a very

1:11:08

night is it at the England squad and all

1:11:10

of that. But having Terry, Terry, I

1:11:12

knew quite well, because of the background of the

1:11:15

Dagenhamiads we were sat in London, but a lot

1:11:17

of the doc was in common with my dad

1:11:19

and his mates. And I was thinking, I'm fantastic

1:11:21

with Terry and TFI, as you know, was an

1:11:23

open bar and there was another one across the

1:11:25

road. Chris knew Terry really well. I

1:11:27

think they lived near each other. But

1:11:29

he used to be, I think it was called Bubbles or Wine Bar

1:11:31

around the back of Harrods. And Chris lived around

1:11:33

the back of Harrods at one point, we used to

1:11:35

meet there to do TFI. And you'd

1:11:37

walk in to Chris, you know, and he'd ring the bell

1:11:40

and he'd say, come on, let them go straight

1:11:42

back to Bubbles, Terry's there, right? And I'm not

1:11:44

going to get anything done today. I'll

1:11:47

do it at home tomorrow. And you'd walk

1:11:49

in and Terry would be there, sounding pretty

1:11:51

well. And he'd have the flutes of champagne

1:11:53

there. Amazing. He'd have a cool 11 in

1:11:55

the morning. And always say the same

1:11:57

thing. As you push up the door, it's a

1:12:00

Where you two been? This is getting stone cold. And

1:12:06

days would just get away on us. Em and

1:12:08

Chris, I would bite out because I had kids

1:12:11

at the time, and it's fine. And

1:12:13

I've been around him rock and roll, and this is what new to

1:12:15

me all day. Em and Chris would then go after the Rato

1:12:17

up and play snooker all day with Peter O'Toole and

1:12:20

all of that. And I know it all

1:12:22

seems wildly rarefied now, but this is absolutely

1:12:24

the curse of my life these days, especially

1:12:26

my son and his mates around there,

1:12:28

my nephews and all that. They mention anyone who's

1:12:31

kind of calling him. And I have to

1:12:33

pipe. I say, oh, I know him. Because

1:12:37

of TFI and Italian, it

1:12:40

was extraordinary. But all of those, I

1:12:42

do forget who I met. And

1:12:44

one of my favorite, well, it's a joke, but it's

1:12:46

absolutely true. Ask me if I've met Madonna.

1:12:48

Ask me if I've met Madonna. Have you met Madonna?

1:12:51

I don't know. It's

1:12:53

absolutely true. I'd say it was a legitimate story

1:12:55

behind it. But

1:12:58

a friend of mine who used to work in a

1:13:00

record shop when he first left school, he went on to work

1:13:02

in New York, a brand new label called Sire.

1:13:04

And I used to go over there for the

1:13:06

NME after a while and hang out with the

1:13:08

Ramones and Seymour Stein, who ran Sire Records, a

1:13:10

brand new label. I knew him to Seymour

1:13:13

really, really well. And one time they had their roster of

1:13:15

artists there in about 1980. And

1:13:17

I was sat next to this very chatty, very good,

1:13:19

blonde woman, and the rest of the other

1:13:21

ex-people were talking heads with their very petty brothers

1:13:24

and all these normal members. And we went on

1:13:26

tremendously. And it was only if I

1:13:28

think about a year later, there's Madonna and Sire. And

1:13:31

I'm like, I think that's who that was. Honestly, I

1:13:33

know it sounds cavalier. I think that's who it was.

1:13:35

Ask me if I've met Kanye West. Have

1:13:38

you met Kanye West? Have you met Kanye West? I

1:13:40

don't know. I

1:13:42

wrote this enormous show on my own

1:13:44

once called Concept for Diana. It

1:13:46

was at Wembley Stadium. Oh, yeah. Where

1:13:48

Ricky Gervais ended up doing that dance. Yes,

1:13:51

that dance. Yeah. But everyone was doing all

1:13:53

the listening. Anyway, I wrote

1:13:55

this script for everyone. And on

1:13:57

my own, I'd go to Buckingham Palace to get a vet in

1:13:59

and all of that. this. So he's to write so many other

1:14:01

shows, he's going to take them in all these other jobs

1:14:05

and write them for all the other comedians and tell

1:14:07

them to do shows. So they asked us to

1:14:09

go and do it and there was about 20 old acts on

1:14:12

and the American accent I sat down and stared in

1:14:14

this little tomb of a writing room would

1:14:16

all come down and literally measure their intros,

1:14:18

you know? So you'd get the Black Eyed

1:14:20

Peas manager coming in and you've given more

1:14:23

words to a past study than you have to ask.

1:14:25

We've sold more so I put more words in there

1:14:27

to get all the intros out there. Yeah I know,

1:14:29

I know. But when I look

1:14:32

back and I was asked about this recently and

1:14:34

I looked it up, there was Kanye West's

1:14:36

name. And now I had to meet everybody

1:14:38

and make sure I was telling them, I don't remember. And

1:14:41

he wasn't quite the clue key. But I'd

1:14:43

love to say that, people would just want

1:14:45

to know just how much of an old

1:14:48

storyteller I am. I was going to think

1:14:50

of this Kanye West, probably not sure. And

1:14:54

when they get asked in interviews, they remember me. When

1:14:58

you met David Bowie on TFI Friday, I'd

1:15:01

say that's one of my favourite

1:15:03

Danny Baker moments of all time. I've

1:15:05

never met him in all the time. I was all around rock music

1:15:08

and all of that. And I

1:15:11

took my man who sold the world

1:15:13

laser disc in to get signed. Laser

1:15:15

disc? Well, based on folly, that was

1:15:17

always poor because I was a great

1:15:19

proponent of laser disc in the 90s.

1:15:21

I thought wow, yes, I had about

1:15:23

a thousand on them. And

1:15:25

Bowie, you'd see it on YouTube, I wrote

1:15:27

this thing for Joe Longthorn, who was on

1:15:30

the show as well. But Joe had to

1:15:32

do this thing where throughout the show Chris

1:15:34

would say, and now it's time for another Joe

1:15:36

Longthorn big finish. And that's all

1:15:38

it was. I wrote Joe Longthorn comes on and by

1:15:40

Chris Edess just does the big finish of a song.

1:15:42

Just the last bit of it when the crew was

1:15:45

really give it plenty. So on the one you

1:15:47

can see on YouTube, David Bowie is supposed

1:15:49

to introduce a big if it gets Joe Longthorn's

1:15:51

name and see Chris get

1:15:53

annoyed. He goes, anything else

1:15:55

you want to say? And Bowie goes, not really because

1:15:57

Bowie kind of hijacked the show anyway by telling this

1:15:59

long rambling. brilliant story and not being asked

1:16:01

any questions. I've prepared all these questions to

1:16:03

ask him but he just started this weird

1:16:06

monologue about coming out the jungle when having

1:16:08

dysentery and he wouldn't let Chris ask another

1:16:10

question it was really funny for the performance.

1:16:12

Anyway at the end of it we

1:16:15

told him could you say I think it's about time

1:16:17

but Joe Longthorn will never be finished he couldn't remember

1:16:19

it and he could see fear in

1:16:21

Bowie's eyes, he could see Chris get annoyed because he don't

1:16:23

care who he is. Do you remember that thing? Well Chris

1:16:25

is like, oh he says Joe, he calls him

1:16:28

Joe Longthorn and how come Joe Longthorn and

1:16:30

sings the sunny side of the street.

1:16:33

I'm the sunny, sunny sunny

1:16:35

side of the

1:16:37

street yeah that's

1:16:39

all he had to do just sing the big

1:16:41

finish to big songs and Bowie

1:16:43

it looked so confused. Previously

1:16:47

in rehearsal you know because it comes in it's

1:16:49

very sight that he's like Mick Jagger he used

1:16:51

to have a big head like those little Zoles

1:16:53

you sometimes see in the back of cars. His

1:16:55

head would wobble as he walked, not as bad

1:16:57

as Jagger but Jagger's got a real like Dorlian's

1:17:00

carnival head on a very slight body but I'll

1:17:02

just remember two of that Jagger stories that would

1:17:04

bring that. So TFI actually did the Stones in

1:17:06

Chicago we stayed a week out there with them

1:17:09

one of our rare outside broadcast I knew him

1:17:11

from before that so Bowie's here and I

1:17:14

brought my laser disc and they

1:17:16

were just setting up something in rehearsal and

1:17:19

I sat down opposite him and

1:17:21

I don't know why but instead of only time in

1:17:23

my life I just literally thought oh

1:17:25

I said that's it don't you wait I said I'm

1:17:27

gonna write a producer to show you okay and

1:17:30

he looked at me and I thought now what now

1:17:33

what anything you know I'm fine and now

1:17:35

I'm sick I sat down at the down on Chris's

1:17:37

spot on that desk and me and Bowie were looking

1:17:39

at each other he's obviously thinking what do you want

1:17:42

and I said well I said well there's this

1:17:44

design of faltering that brought this was this and

1:17:46

I said it's the laser disc and

1:17:48

he said right I mean I haven't

1:17:50

seen this it's the man in the end he signed

1:17:52

that for us but then I said that going this

1:17:54

is absolutely true my old stall at about my black

1:17:57

e-field here I was ahead of the curve

1:17:59

man a tickle burn we were ahead of the curve in

1:18:02

the early 70s before Hokey

1:18:04

Dory with Bowie. We really loved men

1:18:06

who saw the Hokey Dory kind of and

1:18:09

Ziggy Starz was just kind of in the air and it was

1:18:11

the year I left school in 72 and

1:18:13

the other kids you know I never

1:18:15

stayed on I didn't do the fish here I

1:18:18

left it in my first opportunity I love school

1:18:20

but again it's another story so they're nice to

1:18:22

say to me dang that

1:18:24

weirdo you like which didn't narrow it down I said of

1:18:26

what you know the one with the air and the dress

1:18:28

and all I said oh don't you boat it's outside he's

1:18:30

over at the bus stop and I said

1:18:33

oh yeah yeah go on you'll miss him now

1:18:35

yeah give it a week say Dan the chip

1:18:37

shop that blokes in there again that David what's

1:18:39

it with a load of bubble weirdos okay thank

1:18:41

you very much 40 years later a book came

1:18:43

out called Any Day in the Mail which

1:18:46

is basically day by day in David Bowie's life from

1:18:48

1947 to 74 if you went off to America and

1:18:53

in there it says in 71

1:18:55

and 72 David once again employed

1:18:57

the rehearsal under hill rehearsal studios

1:18:59

on Blackheath Road so

1:19:01

that was like 100 yards along from our school

1:19:04

and after school I mean Bernice

1:19:07

he'll be able to get a bus on white

1:19:09

outside Trident Studios see if we get a glimpse

1:19:11

of him it really was him across the road

1:19:13

in a chip shop it really was him waiting

1:19:15

to get him up in Beckenham at the time

1:19:17

it really was Bowie and I used to go

1:19:19

no no no and I fortunately dug that story

1:19:22

out and entertained him for a little bit but

1:19:24

for a very awkward couple of minutes I was

1:19:26

seeing me bow it went a couple of minutes

1:19:28

and he just went yeah and I thought oh

1:19:30

what do I know I

1:19:33

don't know who I am you don't care but he did like

1:19:35

the story of how I didn't see David

1:19:37

Bowie and that became inevitably a category on

1:19:39

the radio and we're still doing it even

1:19:41

this week people you didn't see I'll tell

1:19:44

you a quick one at him me and

1:19:46

Danny Kelly once when he was at a

1:19:48

few magazine we were going to Paris

1:19:51

REM we'll put this to golden days of music broadcasting we'll get

1:19:53

right back to the football because I've got another Danny Kelly

1:19:55

story but I sat a football match Warner Brothers had paid that

1:19:57

kind of money for the film and I was like oh

1:19:59

my god Someone did a train to go to

1:20:01

where REM were playing in Paris. What a

1:20:03

life these music thrash was. When

1:20:06

I was 18 or 19 and I joined the NME, I spent weeks out of

1:20:08

the country in the States just

1:20:14

going around to sort of open the fire or

1:20:17

the village people remember doing over there, John Cale

1:20:19

or wherever it was, Michael Jackson on the west

1:20:21

coast, you know, ringing me mates up from

1:20:24

my hotel room in Laurel Canyon or

1:20:26

something. And I'd ring them up and say, what

1:20:28

are you all doing? I go, oh, we're going to Wal-Salt tonight.

1:20:30

And I go, I mean, Laurel Canyon, I'm going to. But secretly,

1:20:32

I'll be thinking, what was going to happen? Warner

1:20:36

Brothers got this train for rock owners to go

1:20:38

out to see REM in Paris. And this actually

1:20:40

is a football twist on it. Because I've done

1:20:42

this with football, too. I think anyone who's been

1:20:44

going to away games particularly does this. We go

1:20:46

out to Paris and there's a right old jolly

1:20:48

on the train. And we got them in Paris

1:20:50

and me and Danny Kelly were ferried

1:20:52

out to where the stadium was, but it was about

1:20:54

two hours to REM. So

1:20:56

we found this bar, there was two table

1:20:58

football tables in there. We joined in

1:21:01

with all these French guys playing the table football.

1:21:03

And the two I had zipped by and we

1:21:05

looked at each other, me and Danny, you could hear from the

1:21:07

stadium across the road. And

1:21:12

we looked at each other and we still had a pero and

1:21:15

an awful lot of each other. Well,

1:21:17

we missed the first thing. We never

1:21:19

went to see him at all. We were only like 30. We

1:21:22

just stayed in this thing and we're brought back

1:21:24

now. I've done that on quite well. My

1:21:27

dad did it more than me. We used to get coaches

1:21:29

that were supposed to be going to, I don't

1:21:31

know, paint us up in a Norwich or, you know, Torquay

1:21:33

or somewhere. And I only remember one

1:21:35

specific occasion. We got always

1:21:38

first pub driver once you leave in the mornings.

1:21:40

And we were going through Plumstead, which is about

1:21:43

a mile and a half from Millwall's ground. And

1:21:46

all these mates went, oh, Jack's pub is across

1:21:48

here. Old docker maitre, it is, running

1:21:50

a pub. And they knocked him up early on this

1:21:52

Saturday morning and he opened up and they never went

1:21:55

any further. Never went there again. Never

1:21:58

went in. And I remember saying... And

1:22:00

dad said, yes, I think a lot of listeners

1:22:02

will identify that sometimes you're having such a good time,

1:22:04

the game can get in the way of

1:22:07

that. Certainly between the rock

1:22:09

and the football. It's about

1:22:11

you, the club influence about

1:22:13

having these fantastic days out. And if

1:22:15

that means the football doesn't intervene on

1:22:17

it, then so be it. My

1:22:20

old man was a, he took me

1:22:22

down there. I was seven years old when I first

1:22:24

went, yeah, 1965,

1:22:26

Newport, and we beat Newport Foreman. And

1:22:29

I then didn't miss a game for nearly 15 years. And

1:22:31

that was just at the beginning of what Millwall's home

1:22:33

record, you mentioned the old ground, they never used to

1:22:35

get beat that they held the record for years. 59

1:22:39

home games without defeat in the 1964 to 1967. They

1:22:43

never lost. And I never went away. And so I

1:22:45

never see me all get beat for the first three

1:22:47

years I followed them. I couldn't understand why we were

1:22:49

still in the third division. We had

1:22:51

a lousy away record. But I used

1:22:53

to, I went down to see him in those days,

1:22:55

but my old man and his brothers

1:22:58

and all of that, it was a

1:23:00

little bit like being in a whole glass painting.

1:23:02

So glad I didn't live in the era of

1:23:04

family enclosures, honestly, but I did start going away

1:23:06

games, we moved the tossed out of grounds that

1:23:08

personally escorted out of grounds, Oxford

1:23:10

and QPR twice, he's always been in a

1:23:12

punch up to QPR the old man, even

1:23:15

in his later years, the year Millwall

1:23:17

went up to the first division, 1988,

1:23:19

for Millwall to secure promotion,

1:23:22

we were playing at Bournemouth. And

1:23:25

we easily old Bournemouth, who I've never forgiven,

1:23:27

said, we're not having more sports descending on

1:23:29

us on mass, we are going

1:23:32

to change the kickoff to 530 on a

1:23:34

Thursday. So

1:23:36

they thought everyone is going to a bold ticket

1:23:38

sales and if I work, and then the promise

1:23:40

of Bournemouth said, the first thing they said was,

1:23:42

we're going to charge 20 pounds, which in them

1:23:44

is unthinkable admission. If there's no

1:23:46

trouble, Millwall was going to apply to get

1:23:48

15 pound back. How about that? I

1:23:52

know none of this went anywhere, but the game did

1:23:54

kick off at an odd time, I remember, and we

1:23:56

did eventually win it, but on the way in, there

1:23:58

was this big crush and it was quite all then

1:24:00

to have be searched on the way in. We're

1:24:03

all then crushed and we're all up to

1:24:05

about five coppers trying to pat everyone down

1:24:07

and as we all got there I put my hands up

1:24:10

and he's patted us down. In you go and then

1:24:12

my old man's come forward. He's a big fella my

1:24:14

old man because he must have been my age he's

1:24:16

doing I suppose he was 60 odd. The coppers just

1:24:19

said to him oh you're all right pops in you

1:24:21

go and my man went pops you saucy bastard I

1:24:23

demand to be searched. It

1:24:27

took me as a great affront I

1:24:30

didn't bound to be searched. Come on

1:24:32

on Matt. Back to 606 again.

1:24:34

I was doing stories about what have you managed to

1:24:36

get into around not violent things but there was this

1:24:39

still there this initial paranoia of this right

1:24:41

now don't take a water bottle in with a top on it

1:24:43

all of it but when that first was

1:24:45

introduced we had people ringing up saying

1:24:47

what they'd been relieved of and somebody said

1:24:50

an individual from pie was taken off them as they were

1:24:52

trying to get in only about four inches across. One

1:24:54

more ring and said I had my breast

1:24:57

pump that I taped because um milk

1:24:59

and it's painful they took a breast pump off and said

1:25:01

you can pick it up at the end of the game.

1:25:04

Best the back of the south after you it's

1:25:07

a chef and he said I'm a chef and

1:25:09

we were playing man you know he said

1:25:11

in the kick off seven so he said but

1:25:13

I've got a few shifts switched around he said

1:25:16

nobody's going to finish at seven he said which

1:25:18

I if I made good time I could get

1:25:20

to the kick off anyways he said I'll finish

1:25:22

my shift at the restaurant and

1:25:25

I ran towards the ground he said when I got

1:25:27

there he said it was about 28 minutes past but

1:25:29

fortunately there was a huge backlog on

1:25:31

the crowd and kick off him in the late 50

1:25:33

minutes it's terrific he said now join

1:25:35

the throng and there as it used to be you

1:25:38

know you're getting pushed around with this huge crust trying

1:25:40

to get into the ground and people are

1:25:42

getting searched he said and

1:25:44

I realized I went stone cold and sweat

1:25:46

started running around my back at the end

1:25:48

of the shift he said my knives

1:25:51

which I take to every job he said my steak knives he said

1:25:53

I've got about 12 in a roll

1:25:55

up folder I had them in

1:25:57

my hand I

1:26:00

come out of work and I'm

1:26:02

now got 12 state knives attempting to get

1:26:04

in the south central manly knife. And

1:26:06

the pressure of the crowd is pushing me forward. I

1:26:09

think, well, I can't think of really expensive. Anyway,

1:26:11

by now he's at the front and the cop has

1:26:13

waved him forward, but he's got them in his right

1:26:15

hand, this roll of knives. He said, and

1:26:17

I got to all of them, and he just said, put your hands

1:26:20

up. He said, so I'll put my hands up with the knives in

1:26:22

him. He paid me there. I said, in you go. He said, well,

1:26:24

the cops are sick. I

1:26:27

said, I just hold him in my hand. I'll put my

1:26:29

hands up. And he paid me there. And in you go.

1:26:31

He said, I went in with 12 of the sharpest knives

1:26:33

on the south top. Can

1:26:37

you tell me about one of the things I remember,

1:26:39

I'm a West Ham fan. And the first time I

1:26:42

realised that Millwall was scary was I think it was

1:26:44

on Golden Gas. So you took about Terry Herlock. Used

1:26:47

to play for Millwall with Boxers Grease on

1:26:49

his eyebrows. Did you ever get to the

1:26:51

bottom of here? You ever met Terry Herlock?

1:26:53

I met Terry Herlock. Yes, I did. And

1:26:56

he was at extraordinary thing because he was

1:26:58

almost a Sunday player. Players still do, I

1:27:00

suspect. But he came through and he was

1:27:02

an absolute bull of a man. He was

1:27:05

the kind of player when he's playing against

1:27:07

you. Can't give him enough stick. But secretly

1:27:09

you think, wow, wish he played

1:27:11

for us. Staying Colmore was like that. I remember

1:27:13

Staying Colmore when he was at South End. And

1:27:16

he could look after himself. And he also would

1:27:18

really not fear that at a Millwall spot

1:27:20

because he was all down one side of the arena

1:27:23

down there. So we're all down one side and he

1:27:25

was good. He was an intimidated. He was

1:27:27

getting all the stickers. He was getting a real reputation. And he

1:27:29

scored the only goal of the game about five minutes from the

1:27:31

end. Staying Colmore scored it.

1:27:33

And he rang in front of all the

1:27:35

Millwall spotters, giving the wankers sign on his

1:27:37

chest. Nobody else could remember. He couldn't see

1:27:40

it. And you can imagine this vitriol just

1:27:42

poured out. But everyone thought, love

1:27:44

that player, like that player for

1:27:46

us. Well, Herlock was that he

1:27:48

was tremendously hard player. But as I

1:27:50

said, the 90s were very moribund until we got

1:27:53

relegated again and came roaring back up, which

1:27:55

is a position we're set to bring this full circle

1:27:57

where we are at the minute. Perfect. with

1:28:00

a couple of questions from the listeners Danny.

1:28:02

Oh yeah of course. Football,

1:28:05

maybe the most famous thing you've done

1:28:07

in football is broken Bob Marley's toe.

1:28:10

Were you behind that? Yeah I can

1:28:14

tell you exactly who was behind it. I can name

1:28:17

names here, the people behind that, me and

1:28:19

my big mouth. I

1:28:21

did play football against the Whalers.

1:28:24

Now that's when I was at the enemy we had a pretty

1:28:26

good side but we used to play madness in the jam and

1:28:29

not obviously mean but they brought their roadies in to have

1:28:31

the squad. It wasn't too far forward or Rick Butler and

1:28:33

Bruce Boxer. But we were

1:28:35

good and we were absolutely undefeated and then we

1:28:37

had to play everyone and Island Reples had a

1:28:39

good team and then the Whalers were in town

1:28:42

and the Whalers were not

1:28:44

madness, madness were the drunkest most stolen team

1:28:47

we ever played against but we

1:28:49

played in Hyde Park and after 25 minutes

1:28:52

they were like professional footballers

1:28:55

with the park players you know but they were so good.

1:28:57

Buddy Whaler came across to whoever

1:29:00

he was picking up their manager and just said do you

1:29:03

mind if we play them onto each other because

1:29:05

we're not getting a game here and that was

1:29:07

the humiliation of playing against him. Only later on

1:29:09

when you know God rest him for Bob Marley

1:29:12

was the cancer that killed him it

1:29:14

was first detected in a toe injury got

1:29:16

in football. Now I'm saying I

1:29:18

wonder how time I clocked in during that game in

1:29:20

so and so and that was probably on 6. So

1:29:23

6 I said it out loud and

1:29:25

not realizing that you know certain factions

1:29:27

in London said you did what? I

1:29:29

couldn't get near Bob

1:29:31

Marley. Oh God, that was so good you never got

1:29:33

nearer. I'll write the f***ing story in my book. But

1:29:36

I said that as a rather dark aside you know

1:29:38

he hadn't died then he'd been treated for it and

1:29:40

of course yeah yeah that was probably me when I trod and

1:29:42

he's thought doing the you know all of this even

1:29:45

pre-internet this kind of took hold the humiliating

1:29:47

thing out of that is I never after

1:29:49

20 minutes had to retire her but no I

1:29:52

actually never got near any Bob Marley and equally

1:29:54

if you look at the actual figures

1:29:56

they don't add up yes Bob probably did

1:29:58

have a injury old football match

1:30:00

he played but I think he might

1:30:02

have been the two pounds of Herbie smoked every

1:30:05

day that probably helped his health particularly anyway so

1:30:07

there's two things yeah I did play against Bob

1:30:09

Marley in the wayless all of us at the

1:30:11

enemy did but no I didn't kill him okay

1:30:15

glad to clear that up oh

1:30:17

it's been an absolute joy Danny we always end

1:30:19

with the same question go on I'm

1:30:22

fascinated to know your answer this Danny I'm

1:30:24

gonna give you little time machine yeah

1:30:26

I gave you the option to go back to the 1st of January

1:30:28

1990 and relive the 90s

1:30:30

all again would you do it oh

1:30:32

yeah that was top of the pops

1:30:34

in then don't you yeah I've never

1:30:37

ever I've never had

1:30:39

a retrospective moment in my life not

1:30:41

for a second I mean you can hear

1:30:43

just scratching the surface here which is why

1:30:45

my live shows last three and a half

1:30:48

hours everyone has just been three tours of

1:30:50

them what yeah he could have

1:30:52

said that at any time at any time

1:30:54

you know I've been cancelled I've had cancer

1:30:56

I've had the worst reviews in the world

1:30:58

of but look at all that

1:31:01

let's go a full team when you're playing a record

1:31:03

shot and I'm knocking around with Elton John and Mick

1:31:05

Jagger within weeks shut up yeah you

1:31:08

can't be back anytime but equally if you said you want

1:31:10

to go back to the beginning of this interview and I

1:31:12

say yes I'll do that as well because I am an

1:31:16

unsinkable and refuse to live any other way I

1:31:18

didn't get perhaps a no dangerous match

1:31:20

I was ever at Iran USA in 94

1:31:22

in France next time if we do another

1:31:25

one we'll start with it when the entire

1:31:27

I do it right I'll cut

1:31:29

it out finish with that one

1:31:32

of the things Danny Terry and I went out

1:31:34

on we were in France in Lyon in France

1:31:36

reporting from reporting you see they had a great

1:31:38

time out there and doing shows and all of

1:31:40

that and we had tickets to

1:31:43

Iran versus USA in the

1:31:45

days when that was you know that

1:31:47

even more than that Iran USA fixed

1:31:49

it unbelievable and the tensions in

1:31:51

town and all of this were incredible of course

1:31:53

a lot of people have fled what

1:31:56

was Persia Iran when the Shah fell

1:31:58

and they were living in France So

1:32:00

a lot of Iranians in France and this

1:32:02

picture is holding towards us Anyway, we

1:32:04

made our way all to the ground and we realized then

1:32:07

it was like no game had ever attended There was

1:32:09

the political end of it was incredible like

1:32:12

a massive street Protest with lots

1:32:14

and lots of secret police a lot of

1:32:16

people said you see all these people there

1:32:18

Iranian secret police Because they were carrying these

1:32:20

enormous banners of the woman who would have

1:32:22

been Shire s of these

1:32:24

were all ex patriots He's a raw

1:32:26

people in chase that everyone and

1:32:29

then you get towards in there's the USA crowd and we thought

1:32:31

this is going to be tense in

1:32:33

the ground, but in fact when the

1:32:35

USA fans like on USA USA the

1:32:38

Iranian expats started going USA USA

1:32:40

too because they wanted the Ayatollah

1:32:43

they wanted him and all these pictures they

1:32:45

were carrying But anyway, there was lots and

1:32:48

lots of very serious looking people taking photos

1:32:50

of the Iranian supporters And me and Danny

1:32:52

Kelly were right in the middle of them

1:32:54

all right smack in the middle of

1:32:56

all the Iranian supporters That's just how it was

1:32:58

and I was standing on the seats and forgive

1:33:01

my own grass imitation I don't speak, you know,

1:33:03

Farsi or anything, but I would jump in up

1:33:05

and down in the seats Me

1:33:10

and Danny's Kelly are just sitting everything all this is

1:33:13

heavy and people talk about the same your father

1:33:15

There are firewalls going off and police dogs everywhere

1:33:17

and they said that they mean started it and

1:33:20

they were just doing this Whatever this challenge was

1:33:22

and holding up books and photos and all of

1:33:24

this and we thought this is gonna turn bad

1:33:26

because people had been On the way

1:33:28

in fighting in the streets pro and against the

1:33:31

total a game gents. I'm don't know this is

1:33:33

too good I'll stand up. They're jumping up

1:33:35

on him. Oh Right,

1:33:37

and this fellow is about three seats away. We

1:33:39

tell him anyway the brain you fella went study

1:33:42

Baker From

1:33:46

Stephanie you said we come over because this is and if

1:33:48

it's just spoke like me I promise you boy and

1:33:51

I went oh, well, he said what are you

1:33:53

doing? I said I'm working with science I said, well, you know,

1:33:55

you can explain what they're doing And they'll be going all

1:33:57

day and I come in his programs or something and then the

1:33:59

charting is. Down a name and about eight blocks

1:34:01

around his or promises to a guy. That

1:34:04

a user lead us? That is. An

1:34:07

eye. On

1:34:11

the other paid any rights they run the going

1:34:13

to one but when a timeout. The.

1:34:16

Abductions Us or abductions on the street in

1:34:18

the backs of veins. It was the i'll

1:34:20

be the same as a year. It's own

1:34:22

of a massive royal between. Fraud.

1:34:24

Against the show in the street and never

1:34:26

fires on the Streets of Wind is going

1:34:28

from somewhere else. May wanna be? Color of

1:34:31

their blogs? those than his earlier. Era

1:34:36

When I'm with you that is in the

1:34:38

night it all of our our science data

1:34:41

has been absolute joy. Any so enjoy your

1:34:43

dinner as soon as I said always try

1:34:45

to or idea of us. Danny.

1:34:56

Beta all my was. Keen

1:34:59

sense of editorial this. we didn't really ask

1:35:01

any questions and he was the old said

1:35:04

the move. Is now I know

1:35:06

where to is very to do this

1:35:08

three to do this but we could

1:35:10

running through some of the questions we

1:35:13

didn't get to ask witness i live

1:35:15

covered everything so much on let me

1:35:17

I didn't even he knows it up

1:35:19

and point a to a more sir

1:35:22

my screen devoted christian bible says as

1:35:24

bad as as at a much as

1:35:26

I to go because obviously unsurprisingly the

1:35:28

overran. Normally

1:35:30

do bear the end because you know. but

1:35:33

now you're lucky in a campaign to

1:35:35

be is probably one of the longest

1:35:38

ones with there's nothing they had a

1:35:40

good our that social medicine gonna die

1:35:42

yes there's a real date a during

1:35:44

the mice are not undermine club or

1:35:46

you want to hear his own says

1:35:49

on getting stoned in amsterdam with that

1:35:51

he kelly and them had that famous

1:35:53

tackle i'm bob marley time they're available

1:35:55

from stepped off five of questions go

1:35:57

to another slice.com a partner job

1:36:00

done really isn't it? Yeah job done. What

1:36:03

I mean what a guy to talk

1:36:05

about the 90s he was there he saw

1:36:07

it all just loved that just loved it. What

1:36:09

were you thinking for playing for the song to

1:36:11

play out? I was just thinking playing out with

1:36:14

the full wooden bow tie phone

1:36:16

call. Oh yeah. Rip

1:36:18

from YouTube. It's four minutes per day but can

1:36:20

we just shove that on the end of the

1:36:22

week guys? If you've got to the end of this

1:36:24

one hour 50 episode whatever

1:36:28

it is. Let's treat

1:36:30

the listeners. The wooden

1:36:32

bow tie. I listen to that at

1:36:34

least once a year it's great stuff.

1:36:36

Just Michael who's had to go if

1:36:38

you're on a plonker at the end you just

1:36:40

put the words Baker Kelly bow tie into YouTube

1:36:42

and it comes up. See you later. We'll see

1:36:45

you next week. Robbie Slater see you later. I've

1:36:48

got a football memorabilia and I've got

1:36:50

a football in the supermarket. Okay good.

1:36:53

The football memorabilia which was written nine.

1:36:55

I'm never 50 or so it's going

1:36:57

back a bit. Yeah. But I asked

1:37:00

my dad if he'd make me a bow tie. Hang

1:37:02

on hang on. No hang on.

1:37:05

Just say that again. Well

1:37:07

I asked my dad if he'd make me a bow

1:37:10

tie. Last time ever on Radio 5 live I asked

1:37:12

my father to make

1:37:15

me a bow tie. I'm sorry that sentence ends

1:37:17

here. This is already my favorite cool lever. I

1:37:19

asked you I should there to make you a

1:37:21

train. Yeah. A ship. A boat. A boat. A

1:37:24

some kind of railway station. You asked your

1:37:26

father. Well I made a difference with this

1:37:28

stuff. I wanted someone with a bow tie.

1:37:30

One of my team's name on it. He

1:37:33

said he'd have a bow tie with my

1:37:35

team. What team is that? The Dunsian United.

1:37:37

Okay come on. It's great.

1:37:40

Go on. Well I just called United. So

1:37:42

we made it and it was black triangles.

1:37:44

You know the pointy-pitchy yes. And it was

1:37:46

white across the middle and it had United

1:37:49

written late across the minutes. But

1:37:51

we made it a plywood. This is

1:37:54

too good. And we could have to

1:37:59

play an Edna. We're gonna have to play an

1:38:01

advert. You're wearing... We're going to Marshall, it'll be

1:38:03

an advert for the next five years. I'm sorry,

1:38:05

Gold. I'm sorry. We're not... As you know, we

1:38:07

usually plow over the desert. We are here, but...

1:38:10

You're wearing a plywood bow tie with

1:38:12

Dunne De Una. We're just united with...

1:38:15

I was two feet wide by the foot. Sing

1:38:18

it. I was tied on the neck while I begged

1:38:20

the lady to strike. I

1:38:24

charged the lady to give me... Absolutely delighted with the

1:38:26

lady. But my half-timer was... Yeah, of course,

1:38:28

he moored with Dunne De Una. Why did you say

1:38:30

what happened to you, did you think? You had a

1:38:32

little bit of air thrust and a little bit of

1:38:34

strap. Here he goes on, here's your bow tie. Plank,

1:38:37

plank, plank, and here's the big little strap to

1:38:39

tie to your neck. Oh my God! A

1:38:42

little bit of strong and a half. I'm back! So,

1:38:45

you must have ended up sort of with one other

1:38:47

curve, but you're just fine, didn't you? But

1:38:49

he said... But he saw the other as weird,

1:38:51

so... Oh, man! So next week, he produced a

1:38:54

big paw. And...

1:38:57

I went away in the match like a

1:38:59

Roman centurion. What was the paw for? Sorry!

1:39:01

The paw... The paw tie was

1:39:03

strapped to the paw. Like

1:39:06

a Roman stand-up. So,

1:39:08

I went and matched him, but of course, I

1:39:10

was not. Like a Roman stand-a... You're making your

1:39:12

words, don't you know? Golden, this is my favourite

1:39:15

ever. I've been doing this a while. So,

1:39:17

I'm sorry, I've gone. And... And they're not a quick

1:39:19

thing, they're just... No, no, hang on, just give me

1:39:21

a minute. You don't have to feel this face. It's good

1:39:23

to have you here, let me help you. I'll do it. Well,

1:39:26

just going back... Why

1:39:29

did you want a bow tie? I thought the

1:39:31

tie doesn't really want anything. I just thought... No,

1:39:33

no, no, seriously. It's not good enough. A record,

1:39:35

yes. A banner, yes. You know, a scarf, as

1:39:37

you say, I had. I already had a round.

1:39:40

Oh. Well, it's nice to have them

1:39:42

as well, so... I just said that earlier. Sorry, Gordon,

1:39:44

Karen, you said it earlier. No, I can't.

1:39:53

I can't. This

1:39:58

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