Feeling Sad?

Depressed?

Hopeless?

Just want to give up, lay down, and let the crows feast on your corpse and eyeballs?

Of course you do, We all do.

We live here in the Fear Realm. 

So if you don't have these feelings, there's probably something wrong with you.

Don't feel ashamed. Even though you should.

In older, less civilized times, you would have been locked away in a filthy dungeon, or set on fire. 

But We've come a long way from those wonderous times.

Now, we have Melancholium.

Melancholium is a revolutionary treatment for emotions like happyness, love, and joy. 

It's a potion that you drink twice a day, once with first meal, and again just before last meal. 

Under no circumstances should Melancholium be ingested at any other times. Users who take Melancholium at any other times besides the prescribed times will be dragged out into the filthy cobblestone streets and severely beaten.

Side effects may include:

Feelings of euphoria

Unusual muscle contractions of the face, also known as "smiling"

Feeling like getting up, putting on your pants, and going out and doing things.

Consult your apothecary before ingesting Melancholium

The makers of Melancholium will not be held responsible for any fatal side effects. Besides which, if the treatment kills you, how are you going to take action against them? Also, You'll be dead, and you can't take those coins with you.

Melancholium:

Stop Living, and return to the solace of waiting to die

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