So you had an eventful night at the local Tiefling Brothel. Its the next day and things... just don't feel right. I don't mean the usual bites, scratches, and puncture wounds from Tiefling horns.

I mean it burns when you pee. No, not that it just feels like burning. I mean a literal stream of fire erupts from your genitals.

We've all been there. Up till now, we've had to just wait it out, or rely on costly healing salves. 

But no more.

Now there's ValTrexxx. Yes, ValTrexxx the Alchemist has created a new elixir. Its so easy to use, only 17 vials a day for three weeks and the danger of immolation will be reduced.

Its a Small price to pay for peace of mind and not setting your village on fire.

Side effects include:

nausea

intestinal cramps

brain cramps

genital cramps

chapped lips

spontaneous combustion

screaming

increased thoughts of teifling buttholes

and blood spiders

This elixir does not prevent getting fire piss, it only treats the condition once you have it.

Ask your local apothecary about ValTrexxx. Or don't. I'm not your mother. 

AVAILABLE AT WAL*BOG

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