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and conditions. 18 plus. Hey,

1:05

it's Amy Sandler and April is

1:07

Stress Awareness Month. So we're sharing

1:09

a few episodes on that theme

1:11

for you all. We're

1:14

excited to kick this off with a best

1:16

of episode with Ali Love. You

1:18

may take her Peloton class or

1:20

watch Ali on the Today Show.

1:23

I especially love the part

1:25

where we discuss Ali's morning

1:28

routine, which inspired an unexpected

1:30

story from Kim about the

1:32

actual origins of radical candor. And

1:35

if you stick around for the end of

1:37

this one, you also may hear Ali sing

1:40

some deaf leopard. Enjoy

1:42

the episode. all

2:00

start our practice of radical candor which

2:02

is ourselves and

2:05

we have got such a special

2:07

guest for you all today. Allie,

2:09

love, hello Allie!

2:12

Oh my gosh, how are you? Kim came

2:15

thinking what's up. Well

2:18

we were just talking about your, I was gonna

2:20

say what a career but even just your morning I

2:22

think you had a Peloton class, you were on the

2:25

Today Show, beyond

2:27

just today you're also, you've been a

2:29

New York Knicks dancer, hosted the Brooklyn

2:31

Nets for the last 10 seasons. Oh

2:34

my gosh, host of the Netflix show Dance 100 and

2:38

founder of the lifestyle brand Love

2:41

Squad and Jason, how

2:43

do you know Allie? Oh I'm

2:45

a Peloton writer and I've taken many

2:47

of Allie's classes especially love the feel-good

2:50

rides and I was super

2:52

stoked when you started doing the K-pop

2:54

rides. I'm a huge K-pop fan also.

2:57

Good, I love that. Yes, we didn't have it a part

2:59

of our music genre at Peloton and when I joined I

3:01

was like, so can we talk about this? Can

3:05

we get this going? And of course in

3:07

true Peloton fashion they're like absolutely. That's

3:10

amazing. We love that

3:12

and in addition to Peloton you've also

3:14

been on the Today Show where you're

3:16

now a contributor sharing fitness and wellness

3:18

tips and in fact you

3:21

listeners may have seen Allie recently

3:23

on Today where you shared Allie

3:25

your own experience of how radical

3:27

candor written by our very own

3:30

Kim Scott can help you boss

3:32

up and increase your confidence at

3:34

work and it was a short

3:36

trip from us being so excited, Brandy, Neil reaching

3:39

out on social media and then we heard back

3:41

from you and so we are

3:43

so excited to have this conversation and

3:45

learn more. You know I

3:47

have to tell you Allie this morning I

3:50

was talking to my I was talking to

3:52

my editor who said that he starts many

3:54

mornings with you and that he loves you

3:56

and if you want to write a book

3:58

he wants to edit it. Wow,

4:01

thanks Yeah I know a lot of my

4:03

colleagues right now there There are many books

4:05

out there I still have to reads a

4:07

few. their said just launched but am I

4:09

know like my colleagues have written a book

4:11

But I do appreciate that. I'll keep that

4:13

the forefront of my emphasis on us in

4:15

the but I will say wait came I

4:17

will say you're big shoes to fill because

4:19

when I do things like in this is

4:21

it is a different than a an autobiography

4:23

or a life's journey or something that has

4:25

to do in the city space where my

4:27

fellow instructors. Are thriving like there is a

4:30

constant. Their books are amazing in your. Stays.

4:32

Eat. Those are. That's where I see myself

4:34

in terms of. What? Has set goals. That's

4:36

what I have the with what I'd like to write.

4:38

so is something what you've written in hope it. Also

4:41

does of excuses elect I mean

4:43

come on eve of nice. Wow.

4:45

Lots I I wrote many bucks said did

4:48

not have published. A fire and one

4:50

sono. And sauce almost didn't even try

4:52

to publicise i'm I'm writing. Radical candor

4:54

for myself. Ah, and I'm not

4:56

even gonna try. So luckily I

4:58

tried sunglasses and he pride. And

5:00

keep riding a bicycle really. And spot. I mean

5:03

I think a hard thing. About.

5:05

What we're talking about. His behavior change

5:07

and you help people change their behavior.

5:09

You the and that is magic. India.

5:12

I try. My best Adam How to win it

5:14

says the guy strike I'm to undermine. And

5:17

that kind of magic said. you inspire

5:19

people. Can you have talked about staying

5:22

centered as your happiness recipe? and I

5:24

think one of the things is helpful

5:26

for each of us to know what

5:28

it is we do to to stay

5:30

centered. I know I need to move

5:33

and I need to meditate. I need

5:35

to last. and I probably most of

5:37

all need to not take myself so

5:39

seriously. Cam, You need your eight hours

5:41

of sleep, your health and exercise. You

5:44

need dinner with someone you love. Ah,

5:46

and. How would you

5:49

describe your happiness? Recipe Alley:

5:52

Who you know? What's funny is a while you're

5:54

reading. Kinda like a weed twins. Are we the

5:56

same person as. He those shoes

5:59

are already pretty cool. I know

6:01

because what you said it's like dinner with

6:03

someone I love it said is true. I.

6:06

Love. Sitting around said it around

6:08

but I love sitting around food

6:10

and having great conversation. in yes,

6:12

understand me and that truly make

6:14

me feel safe and that to

6:16

me is such a priority. I'm

6:18

in terms of like my routine

6:20

in terms of like Iowa, say

6:22

like your. Perfect day or for me

6:24

is is being around especially at the

6:26

end of the day is the moon's

6:28

folks at that? I can just reflect.

6:30

I can take that exhale and let it

6:33

all go at a the I love that

6:35

you were saying, You know? That

6:37

everything's. Out that series again. Agencies relax

6:39

a little better. I am to align with

6:41

you on that. I

6:43

want to be. I suffer from like that,

6:45

whatever been performing to be perfect perfectionism. It's

6:48

like I want a want to do well

6:50

by you. I want to be prepared of

6:52

everything to be perfect and that's not how

6:54

life is. I have to talk myself kind

6:56

of through that and especially. In. The mornings before

6:58

gear up. For. Example: In the morning like today,

7:00

it's like I have those self talk with my

7:02

son handle on up for vote over again on

7:05

a day that makes me feel good it's I

7:07

need to. Connect. With myself and

7:09

I ask myself this one two part

7:11

question is how or what do I

7:14

wanna feel today allowing the answer to

7:16

that. To. Anchor the entire day

7:18

puts me in a position that been talking

7:20

about this a lot recently but it puts

7:23

me in a position to be pro active

7:25

instead of reactive a us the open up

7:27

Instagram or you open of and your emails

7:30

from work and both times they are things

7:32

they are. There are things that you are

7:34

now feeding yourself. Which is natural.

7:36

It's. Normal. but instead of it

7:38

and i'm allowing the things that i'm like

7:40

taking an or the things that i'm eating

7:42

my mind of my body to dictate how

7:44

i feel by being reactionary to what they

7:47

have put out a with things and an

7:49

email didn't say things you know i'm upset

7:51

see know it's sussex in says that being

7:53

the case i am already proactive that no

7:55

matter what i have whatever comes up on

7:57

my instagram or whatever email a sense to

7:59

me i'm century myself around the word

8:01

or the feeling of what I'm carrying

8:03

with me that day, what

8:05

I'm anchoring me on that day. So I do

8:07

that in the morning. It's like making sure I

8:09

establish my anchor in the morning, and that has

8:12

been very helpful. I do

8:14

enjoy working out. That is so brilliant. I

8:17

love that. Ali, the word that was coming up

8:19

for me was nourish, because

8:22

you have your evening at the end of the day where

8:24

you let go and exhale, and

8:26

you're surrounded by love

8:28

and fun and laughter, and you're

8:31

feeling nourished and replenished.

8:33

Then in the morning, you're choosing what to

8:37

consume and nourish yourself with as

8:40

you go out in the day. Especially for you

8:42

as someone, you give so much. So

8:45

it feels like it seems really important for you

8:47

to actually have that time for yourself to fill

8:49

your cup before it goes out in the

8:51

world. Masculine. Masculine question, Ali,

8:54

I want to double-click on this, because

8:58

I think it's brilliant what you do. Do

9:01

you do this in front of the mirror? Do you do

9:03

this when you're still in bed? Where

9:06

do you make this decision? Because

9:08

it's a really important decision, how

9:11

you're going to react to all the nonsense

9:14

that is coming your way. Yeah.

9:16

In a given day. I

9:18

love that you asked me this because I never share where

9:20

I do this, because it's the place that everyone goes when

9:23

you wake up in the morning, and sit on the toilet.

9:25

It's not that shiny. I'm

9:29

very open and transparent. I do

9:31

it two places. Most times

9:33

I do it in the car, like after I've gotten

9:35

up in the morning and I've hydrated and I've prayed,

9:37

and I'll do it in the car on my way

9:39

to work. Or if I'm walking

9:42

to the train, whatever the means of

9:44

transportation is to work, that's

9:46

a physical reminder for me. If

9:49

I haven't asked myself that question by the time

9:51

I get in the car, the car is my,

9:53

because I've created a habit of

9:55

doing it, it's my physical reminder to

9:58

ask myself that question. But

10:00

the reality is our mornings aren't, you

10:02

know, I don't wake up and have all makeup

10:04

on and looking good. I wake up like everyone

10:06

else, breath is bad. I'm probably dehydrated. So I

10:08

need to, you know, I, I prepared the

10:10

night before, but I, everybody, we all, you know, get

10:13

up in the morning and we look like ourselves and

10:15

I go to the bathroom and that's the first thing

10:17

I do. And I sit there

10:19

and I'm like, oh, that's also again,

10:21

a reminder of asking the whole question.

10:23

So, yes, it's a great place. It

10:25

is a great place for deep thoughts.

10:27

Actually, in fact, radical candor was born

10:29

on my parents' toilet. You heard it

10:31

here. But I was like, this is

10:34

a different origin story. I don't think

10:36

we've heard this one yet. Yeah, no,

10:38

my grandmother had yelled at me because

10:40

I had lied to someone and

10:42

I was crying. And then she said,

10:44

you know, I'm telling you this. I'm

10:47

telling you about the truth because it matters

10:49

to you and it's important and because

10:51

I love you. And if you can

10:53

listen to people's criticism of you, you'll

10:55

be a better person. You'll have a

10:58

happier life. And I went away. I

11:01

retreated to my parents' bathroom and

11:03

sat down on the toilet for a while. And that was where

11:05

I was like, you know, Granny is right about that.

11:08

Oh, it's a good spot. It's a good, it's

11:10

good. I love it.

11:13

You didn't know you were gonna be talking about this

11:15

when you invited me on this podcast. Look at that.

11:17

No, I didn't. This was unplanned. Allie,

11:20

can you just for our listeners again, just

11:22

ask, speak that question so that people

11:24

can really anchor that for themselves as

11:26

they start their day. Absolutely. It's what

11:28

or how do I wanna feel today?

11:31

And it could be anything from, I'll give

11:33

you example. Sometimes that's actually helpful is I

11:36

wanna be quiet today. So when

11:38

you have a work meeting, you're not gonna be the

11:40

loudest voice on the call and you're gonna feel good

11:42

about that. You can say

11:44

that I wanna bring joy today. So when you

11:46

get into the office, that's what you're emoting. That's

11:49

what you're bringing. If somebody shows up with a bad

11:51

attitude, you're like, ooh, that's not my bag. I'm bringing

11:53

joy. And I think that

11:55

that's what it is. Some days I wake up and I'm like,

11:58

oh, we're getting it done today. What do I wanna do? want

12:00

to feel today, I want to feel

12:02

accomplished. And any roadblocks, I'm moving. And

12:04

you know why truly this

12:06

question, this two part question became so profound

12:09

for me is, and Amy,

12:11

you talked about feeling nourished is that

12:13

what I would do is I get up, I

12:16

try to be a good citizen of like my work

12:18

environment, go to work, perform, get

12:20

in meetings, and I, you

12:23

know, say something or react to something in the moment, I feel

12:25

like it was fair. I also feel like maybe

12:27

I was being, was I being mean?

12:29

Was I being kind? I couldn't tell how it

12:31

was coming off. Like how I was trading, and

12:33

I get home. And I replay my entire day

12:36

over and over. And every time I'm like, did

12:39

I make her upset? Oh my gosh, she takes

12:41

out the wrong way. And I have no clue.

12:43

So I'm over here wasting like this is now

12:45

taking up brain space. I'm allowing this, this these

12:47

thoughts to take a vacancy for me right in

12:50

my mind. And I just

12:52

started to feel bad because I'm like, I couldn't tell

12:54

my metric for success. Was that a good day? Was

12:56

that a bad day? Am I proud of myself? Am

12:58

I mad at my voice? How do I feel about

13:00

me, which is important. And so what

13:02

I realized is that the change for it is for

13:05

me to set what I want to feel and how

13:07

I want to feel before it happens. So at the

13:09

end of the day, if I was direct

13:11

in a meeting, I say

13:13

mission accomplished. I was a direct I said

13:16

I was coming in hot. I did

13:18

every every meeting I came in the class

13:20

with heart. When I saw you I

13:22

was in like bold. Like I met that

13:24

today on this Tuesday I came in

13:26

hot. And when I look back every reaction,

13:29

every action was coming in hot. Drop

13:31

well done Ali loves. I

13:34

love that. And Ali just,

13:37

you know, as you're saying this, I

13:39

am also what's coming up for me

13:41

is how we can actually support each

13:43

other with those intentions. So I'm really

13:45

curious what was, what was your

13:48

feeling you wanted to cultivate for today and how

13:50

we can support you. Oh, you

13:52

know, when I got up this morning, I said, I

13:54

have a, I Said it in my

13:56

class recently, this is very recent, but it's something

13:58

that comes into my mind as. I want to

14:00

pay president. I want to be focused

14:02

and I would have fun. So. When I woke

14:04

up this morning I said today he present the

14:07

reason for that. As you know sometimes when you

14:09

try something new and a scary it goes viable

14:11

are you don't remember It's a one of remember

14:13

everything about the non guess will sing on the

14:15

Today show for the second time. Right when I

14:17

remember focus on the teleprompter. It's your turn. You

14:19

locked into whatever it is in front of you

14:21

lock and and don't forget to enjoy it like

14:23

have fun And so that was I talked about

14:25

it with my husband. You know we went over

14:27

everything. how do you feel and I'm like okay

14:30

I'm gonna be president Stay focused and have fun.

14:32

Those are the three. Things that I've You Like

14:34

I said, I've been working on are thinking about. Often

14:36

as within a leafy. And any

14:38

time I got nervous I came back to those If

14:40

they are you focus I present for hims on. As

14:43

I love it and so. This morning

14:46

was this your second? Guess. Yes,

14:48

so I've been a contributor now. which which

14:50

is it? Also, who and let what am

14:52

I? See says one a

14:54

me up interviewed. On the City. So

14:56

what split? I've been a part of Like N

14:58

B C and like a contributor on the Today

15:00

Show says, I think I announced in May. And.

15:03

The April is left so it's been just

15:05

about five months. I guess that is for

15:07

five months after being it and that means

15:09

I would. I come on once a week.

15:12

Since you're there like and I do my segments

15:14

and so it can be a tank keys it

15:16

could be around of long as a Fitness Oregon.

15:18

Just the things around building confidence which is what

15:20

a segment When I talked about Radical Candor. And.

15:23

I would say probably. Six.

15:26

Weeks, maybe a little more is doing

15:28

a few segments they ask me to

15:30

actually. Be a guest hosts on the show. Else

15:33

and they made him a some amazing Alexi.

15:35

Made a mistake. Or

15:37

you these are with them. When it like

15:39

seventy. Yes

15:42

again and again. And so I came on

15:44

the first time and it and and Al

15:46

Roker and Melbourne we're so welcoming to like

15:48

I suppose that them with a Friday and

15:50

so it's more fun and free and in

15:52

there like great so you know everyone said

15:54

great feedback and then I didn't hear anything

15:56

for a while so came on for my

15:58

you know five minute segments. You know,

16:00

like, well, If you don't have feedback it's okay.

16:02

It's okay. it's okay. And then I got an email like

16:05

we need you don't suggest to know that. The

16:08

say was that Al Roker again and Chanel Jones which

16:10

was great. So. Cool! Did you

16:13

have fun? Oh my gosh, I

16:15

had a blast! We got I got to dance, I

16:17

got to eat some p beans and rice. I got

16:19

to talk about Taylor Swift which is always a pleasure

16:21

that talk about usher like all the that thing. The

16:24

says mom. I need to add some things

16:26

to our podcast to make. Enough so

16:28

in. Some dancing with though

16:30

we do, we do. You

16:33

know you love. All of your

16:35

rides but What? it? What? are? Some.

16:37

In your favor, Ride Sally! Or

16:39

Jason said it and the very beginning the

16:41

field and rise on that would say it's

16:44

It is hard to choose as easy as

16:46

parents which one's your favorite kid? they ask

16:48

a favor kid everyone knows everything has a

16:51

favorite Yes let's I doubt now in Dallas

16:53

us up. The

16:55

A to Spice This is it. Time

16:57

to go back and sit on that

17:00

toilet chemists about what he says. A

17:03

possess. The I'm the either. The nice thing

17:05

to say is either you love your kids

17:08

equally and that's the thing. I do enjoy

17:10

doing all my rights every right type. I

17:12

have a hand in my schedule of. You're.

17:14

Speaking of of what I like to teach what

17:16

and then sell it on saying what I need

17:18

to teach in terms of servicing our global members.

17:21

But. Still that ride was one of those things that

17:23

i was in the car with a has been and we

17:25

were to i just certain l a time and i was

17:27

very important. And. If you're wondering like what poorly

17:29

let me give you any. So.

17:32

In the beginning days of when I started. We

17:34

probably I don't remember. The exact numbers,

17:36

but it was somewhere in the low

17:38

hundred thousand that up that we had

17:41

in terms of membership. We. Weren't super

17:43

global. Yet, we hadn't opened our

17:45

Uk studio, so we're very much

17:47

in the Us. Said.

17:49

We were like us, centric. And

17:51

so most of my colleagues and they went to a ride and it

17:53

would go and demand. Over. Time It

17:55

would probably yield. Let's see, seven days

17:57

later it heals somewhere. Around twenty. Then.

18:00

right? That was shoot pointed out

18:02

and thirty thousand people took that right.

18:05

So. Alley Love with You arrive at this

18:07

time of like my beginning days, the first

18:09

six months of elitism and the right gone

18:11

mad and seven days later. They will be

18:13

four hundred and thirty eight feet. Said

18:16

did that right. Now if you know

18:18

math the way I know math. I

18:20

know society, and twenty thousand is greater,

18:23

Four hundred, and like, Thirty eight, right?

18:25

I know that that one number and

18:27

bigger than the other. And then you

18:30

know math really well. You can see

18:32

that the disparity. Between those eras or

18:34

even greater. And so it was one

18:36

of those things where I would go

18:38

home so really bad about myself and

18:40

then I'll try to live on about

18:42

that bright side and I'd say at

18:44

least about five hundred people like me

18:47

that the Dallas My and initial response

18:49

was a lot of people Forgot My

18:51

people That. I'm as

18:53

of the a look it up with lot of

18:55

and so as I said it's you again coming

18:57

in never thing of fitness instructor this things rent

18:59

brand new I was the whole thing for the

19:01

nets and and Adidas and acid or so I

19:04

knew the camera and I wasn't scared to speak

19:06

or the eat. I enjoy cycling I enjoy the

19:08

class I just wasn't connecting all the pieces of

19:10

the puzzle and so we were angry like attack

19:12

the move or something and I was with my

19:14

husband is is I will let you think most

19:17

people were talking about how I'm feeling what do

19:19

you think most of all. right?

19:21

One of the feel when they get own of health

19:23

and right with anyone not just a few. Others

19:26

I don't know like I don't know what they want

19:28

to feel that the what? which one do you want

19:30

to see it? would you take a right way once

19:32

you're so I just wanna feel good like that's it.

19:35

I am very simple in my mind. I want to

19:37

get on elena club dance and I wouldn't work out

19:39

and at the end I just feel good like. Basket

19:41

and he's like I can tell you right now that's

19:43

what most people have not all people onesie and I

19:45

said and I looked into my said he me to

19:47

feel good rise. And yeah, And

19:50

he will take credit that he created this. I

19:52

know when she's it. But don't tell him that.

19:54

Don't. Since. And

19:57

that is so I just I put together what is a

19:59

seal good right? because you have to distinguish it from

20:01

everything that we're offering. Like what makes this title different?

20:03

What makes this right structure different? And so I did

20:05

that work. I tested out in

20:08

a few of my business as usual classes.

20:10

And then I submitted it to my team

20:12

at Peloton and they approved it. And we

20:14

started doing feel good rides. And it's uplifting

20:16

music. You know that at least the minimum

20:18

of five minutes, there will be relentless hard work because

20:20

in order to feel good, you got to go through

20:22

some things and we'll go through them together. Um,

20:25

outside of that, you decide what you want to do

20:27

on the ride. That makes you feel good. I will

20:29

give you direction. You make those decisions that work for

20:31

you that day. Um, the five, the

20:33

minimum of five minutes or whatever that number is,

20:35

is a non-negotiable though. You have to partake.

20:37

We all have to partake. And so

20:39

I would say that ride became my

20:41

favorite ride. And then a couple of years later, I

20:44

created Sundays with Love. I've been testing it out for

20:46

a while. And so I was able

20:48

to create Sundays with Love in terms

20:50

of, uh, taking adjectives or virtues and

20:53

just amplifying those virtues through music,

20:55

through stories and tales

20:57

and, and, and cliches and things like

20:59

that, that we've all heard for years and putting

21:01

them in context and then grabbing that up into

21:04

a workout. So you're having like a visceral

21:06

reaction to the information. That

21:08

is so cool. It's really, you're

21:10

helping people change their behavior. One

21:13

of the things I really appreciate about Peloton is

21:15

that you can get different things out of it.

21:17

And I kind of see like you and Matt

21:20

Wilpers as like, like one of them is

21:22

like focus on fitness and the numbers and

21:24

progress. And the other one is like focus

21:26

on yourself, your wellbeing, like where your, your

21:28

head and like head and heart alignment.

21:32

Um, and some days I want, I

21:34

want to go by the numbers, you know what I'm saying? I want

21:36

to, I want to see where I'm at. And some days I, I

21:39

just need to move my body and feel better about

21:42

things. And I love that both of those

21:44

things are offered to me, but

21:46

I will say that I do more feel good.

21:53

No, Matt, funny, funny thing is Matt and I came in

21:55

at the same, Matt Wilpers and I came in at the

21:57

same time. and

22:00

he is the numbers person and he loves

22:02

that and I love him for that. He's

22:04

exceptional. So you started a

22:07

company, the Love Squad.

22:09

I would love to get some radical

22:11

candor on radical candor from you. What

22:13

is it about radical candor that helps

22:15

you manage that company, helps you lead

22:17

that company and what ideas in the

22:20

book don't really work so much for you? We

22:22

want to know the highs and lows.

22:24

Well, I think, I don't know about like

22:27

does it work for me, but I think the

22:29

biggest takeaway from me was how to deal,

22:31

like understanding that every, whether you are

22:33

an employee or employer, how everyone

22:35

is unique and different and

22:37

that sometimes you can see an interaction

22:40

of two people yelling at each other

22:42

and you think, wow, this is

22:44

a poor work environment and it

22:46

actually works for them. It's not

22:49

taking, it's not taking a linear

22:51

approach to what a successful working

22:54

environment is or what a working

22:56

environment should be or was before

22:58

and looking at it and as

23:01

more of a, like with

23:03

the, I guess more versatile approach of

23:05

understanding the individuals in the work environment

23:07

make up the environment and the

23:09

way that you engage and interact with respective

23:12

individuals will change from time to

23:14

time and that I think has been the

23:16

biggest takeaway for me. So if

23:19

you look at that same concept and I think that was

23:21

for me was a big concept. If you look

23:23

at that, if I don't do that, that's actually what

23:25

doesn't work for me is when I just, I'm like,

23:27

oh, I'm going to manage, you know, my team while

23:29

we are small, we've been around for a long

23:31

time. We're doing these events. If I manage them

23:33

or micromanage them in a way that they don't

23:35

understand, that doesn't make them feel safe or doesn't

23:38

make them feel good. I think

23:40

that that will cause more harm, right? Then

23:43

like then, then, then health and also more

23:45

conflict between us. And so for

23:47

me, even I take that concept,

23:49

whether I'm managing my employees

23:52

at Love Squad or I'm in a room at

23:54

Peloton and we're having a conversation with instructors or

23:56

instructor teams or our Chief

23:59

content Officer. It's like I'm I'm recognizing

24:01

that these individuals the way I

24:03

communicate. I. Want to be affected a my

24:05

mom about this? It's like. I

24:07

can. Flick. It. It's it. This concept

24:10

of you can when. You walk across three their

24:12

the car coming in. You know you have

24:14

it's a red light and you have a little

24:16

walkman across the street. This as long as a

24:18

car that you noticed that a speedy you have

24:20

the right away what is your choice to stay

24:23

on the sidewalk. Or do you watch? And

24:25

the reason I was telling my mom I asked this

24:27

is because when you walk out there, you can lock

24:29

out in the middle the street and get hit and

24:31

still be right. Yeah, so it's not about being right,

24:33

it's about being effective. And. So I think

24:35

sometimes when we say one get a say on

24:38

the sidewalk. If you did, you get nervous because

24:40

you don't want to be raunchy like will I

24:42

have the waterway. Why do I have to sit

24:44

on the side and this person speed and it's

24:46

like I get what you're saying. I understand that

24:48

you have the right or. You. Are right.

24:51

But. Do you want to be affected And

24:53

communication is the way that you can

24:55

be most effective and eventually most productive

24:57

as a T? And so that's what

24:59

I garnered from that. This book actually

25:01

came before I was a felt on

25:03

my own. Yeah, So. Back back

25:05

in the day missiles into the net and

25:08

I was also up. so you would have

25:10

Victoria like a Victoria's Secret model so they

25:12

have in health models were we would do

25:14

fit modeling so everything that victoria Victoria's Secret

25:16

but out in the stores with made off

25:19

my measurement like made off my body as

25:21

as well as way to put it at

25:23

work there I was there for probably six

25:25

years I think there are go into icily

25:27

for two hours and even trying garments give

25:30

feedback and were test now that stuff and

25:32

I remember when as the old managers there

25:34

at the. Time Heather she was. She's really

25:36

cool. She lives in Brooklyn. She's like the

25:38

cool mom by she was ahead and we

25:40

were talking another dealing with some frustrations with

25:42

in my. Career. As is like. At

25:45

the time I had an agent and I was

25:47

trying to communicate and I was going to communicate

25:49

that You know. Again, I'm

25:51

young, I don't know, I just want you to

25:53

help be I will. Stamps get me to the

25:55

next summer's I want to just be better than

25:57

what I am now and I couldn't communicate that

25:59

effectively. The way I was going about it just

26:01

will obviously was ineffective because I was frustrated. And

26:04

so we in a meeting in. He. Of

26:06

always we've all our good friends to this

26:09

day. To were attacked second and and I like him

26:11

dealing with this with into the keynote Hannibal free. And.

26:13

She gave me to see Winter a death she

26:15

brought in radical kinda. She's agreed. This book. it's

26:17

me. It's amazing. Nothing to worry. I'll do my

26:20

own copy like our guess you can have it

26:22

like that's what you do books you pass them.

26:24

Yes. And she gave me or bump. And.

26:26

It was. and it was in that that

26:29

I started to develop and re frame my

26:31

mindset of how I not only like. Very.

26:34

Myself. But how I showed up when it

26:36

came to my business like I am my

26:38

brand even. You know, when I'm twenty two

26:40

years old, I am my brand. And so

26:43

I needed to communicate in a way that

26:45

the people on my team at that time.

26:48

It was affective for both of us. So.

26:51

God I love it! I need to meet Heather!

26:54

And so yes I guess I will. Surprise

26:57

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know alley as you are talking about

27:32

why is fine radical candor. So helpful

27:35

and effective communication. And what I heard

27:37

actually was almost impact versus intention like

27:39

mine in mice. My intention is to

27:42

have a and clear conversation with you

27:44

but it's not landing that way. How

27:46

do I need to adjust? One.

27:49

Of the things that came up

27:51

as you are talking about Palatine

27:53

and the individuality and as Jason

27:55

was saying feel good or measurements.

27:58

There's. so much about knowing what's gonna

28:00

work well in a one-on-one relationship with

28:02

the people that you work with. And

28:04

so I'm just so curious, you

28:07

have a dance background and how much do

28:10

you think of leadership as almost like curating

28:13

and choreography of knowing, well,

28:16

Amy and Allie might work a certain way,

28:18

but then when it's Amy, Allie and Brandy,

28:20

it might have a different dynamic. And then

28:22

we add Kim in. And so I'm just

28:24

so curious, like how do you leverage one-on-one

28:26

relationships and create like a team that's really

28:29

dancing together? I

28:31

love that idea of dancing together. Well,

28:33

I think the number one thing that

28:35

comes to mind is in one-on-one relationships,

28:38

is to stay curious of what

28:40

is working for that person in the season that

28:42

they're in, because it does change. So

28:44

if I think of where I was and

28:46

what drove, like what was my driving force

28:49

four years ago, five years ago at Peloton, it's much

28:51

different now. Cause my goals

28:53

have changed. I've grown in different areas. My

28:56

life has changed and evolved. And so I

28:58

think it's one, making sure you have constant

29:00

and clear communication. Two, I think it's staying

29:02

curious around where the person is and what

29:04

they desire and helping,

29:06

if they don't know, helping them to arrive at

29:08

that point. And then I think

29:10

it's one of those things where once you've had

29:13

these conversations, you're able to bring people together. And

29:15

to your point, I love that

29:17

you think of it as dancing. Sometimes

29:19

I think of it as like, is

29:21

it a maestro that is an orchestra? It's

29:24

like, I can frame up conversations because I

29:27

kind of know you, especially in the workspace,

29:29

a little well and what you think about

29:31

what we're doing, that I can tee it

29:33

up. Like, Kim, I know you actually like

29:35

donuts. So we're thinking about bringing donuts in.

29:38

And Amy, you maybe had some reservations when

29:40

we discussed it. And I feel like you

29:42

made up some good points, but Jason, while

29:44

he doesn't care if we have donuts or

29:46

not, I know when it comes to conversation,

29:48

he's good at tying it all together. I

29:51

just spoke life into all of you. I just

29:53

teed up a conversation. I

29:55

made it comfortable. I can tell that I know

29:57

you by saying certain words or repeating donuts. You

29:59

know me. so well Ali. There you

30:01

go. Yeah, there you go. And so

30:03

that's how I like think about, you

30:06

know, even in Peloton meetings with my

30:09

fellow instructors, this time in, you

30:11

know, you said in your, I took your class,

30:13

people love when you quote them, I don't care

30:15

if you're an instructor or not, when I can,

30:17

when I can pull your book or when people

30:19

come up to me and so I bossed up

30:21

today, I'm like, I want to know you. Like

30:23

you like to see, I feel good. I don't

30:25

care how successful or famous or unknown

30:28

you are. When people come up

30:30

to you and can quote you that

30:32

you said this, it makes you feel

30:34

like, oh, all this hard work isn't in

30:37

vain and it's inviting and that actually is

30:39

it. It opens the door to allow people

30:41

to invest in what you're saying and eventually

30:43

invest in you. And so that's what I

30:45

tend to do is I take some of

30:47

those words, repeat their words back to them,

30:49

tell them how their words connect to what

30:51

we're trying to achieve and then like

30:53

let them go on and talk. Can

30:56

we talk about the word boss for a

30:58

second? Because it was like, I

31:00

love the way that you use the word boss

31:02

and it was really hard to write a book

31:05

about being a boss when all

31:07

the words for being a manager doesn't sound

31:09

great either has a different problem. Some people

31:11

love boss, other people hate the word. So

31:14

talk to me about what do you think when you

31:16

hear the word boss? Yeah. So

31:19

again, all my journey of trying to grow up

31:21

and have a really good career that I can

31:23

enjoy. When I started at Peloton, I was having

31:26

these conversations of nobody's taking my classes. I don't

31:28

know what I'm doing. I need help. And I

31:30

sat down with a woman who used to work

31:32

at our company and it was early in

31:34

the morning. She said, I can meet you at 7am. And I was

31:36

like, great, I've been up for five hours. Let's go. You know, I'm

31:38

like, all good. And

31:41

so we sat down at the table and she

31:43

said, you know, I said, I just don't feel

31:45

confident being an instructor. I just don't think that

31:47

they trust me. And I wouldn't

31:49

trust me. Like I just don't, you know, she's

31:51

like, well, what do you want to feel like? And I was like, I

31:53

just want to feel like I know the bike. Like I want to feel

31:55

like I can, I know the bike inside And

31:58

out. And She was like, well, you know, say more. Edited:

32:00

What I want to feel like when I could have been

32:02

on the box. Price. On the

32:04

bosses of eight hundred bucks for the class, You

32:06

don't trust me. I got to. And.

32:09

So I started to get serious. and why does I

32:11

wanna be a boss like. What

32:14

was that about? And other glad

32:16

when a man as people are going to be

32:18

as fast as are scary nobody I bosses at

32:20

least for a long time they're they're like man

32:22

adult other there may be right there are always

32:25

trying to get me they're not protecting me about

32:27

i want to be that So then I i

32:29

started to again in one of my first love

32:31

lot of as I searched. Talk through that says.

32:34

Alex Oh wait, I haven't ability

32:36

to redefine. A. Reader restructure words. I

32:38

get to do that. Everyday concerns

32:40

I give. You think about popular worth today?

32:42

You like when people say that slap I've never

32:44

heard of that I don't know what it means

32:46

for somebody pointed and now it's cool and now

32:48

my say it. Right? So make

32:50

a lack of do that and I started to

32:53

figure out at it to think a little bit

32:55

more of what does it mean to the Abbas

32:57

being the boss is someone who sets the standard.

32:59

That's what I want to do some my why

33:01

follow rules when we can solve real problems with

33:03

real people include those real people and so like

33:05

I want to set the standard I want instead

33:07

of. An. Instructor you know being

33:09

what it being an instructor that I am

33:11

I want to be an instructor that every

33:13

wants to be like and to me that

33:15

was important. That's what about the as a

33:17

set standard and then they establish the tone

33:19

when I have on when I get on

33:21

stage nightclub in I actually influence how everyone

33:24

seal. I recognize that any

33:26

room not just appellate other any rumors,

33:28

Zoom works, You know it. He says

33:30

that you enter you have the power

33:32

to influence the people around you and

33:34

how they see. If I came on

33:36

this call and I was against everything

33:38

that. It'll

33:40

make you sick like it'll make you feel

33:43

away. It'll cause either for station ill cause

33:45

you confusion is cause you discomfort in a

33:47

way right? If I come on and my

33:49

energy is high and I'm smiling you could

33:51

be having the worst days. It can immediate

33:53

doesn't move your needle you know. Thirty.

33:56

Percent seen for sit. It's make you

33:58

ten percent happier in the moon. That

34:00

is a big feel it's been about. Like

34:03

I said it's it's setting the center but

34:05

establish himself knowing that when you walk in

34:07

any room you can affect people. It out.

34:09

Fleets of choice affect them positively. That's. How.

34:11

How are you. A. Mob that. An

34:14

alley. I. Met what was

34:16

the word that the other words with. Was

34:19

flat flat flat flat about

34:21

I allowance. That's. Less a.

34:25

Soon. I'm would have been renamed but

34:27

no one's maps know if it's i assume

34:29

as a gun yet. I think all word

34:31

sismi good. Like the definition of life. Any

34:33

word is good. That's the definition of

34:36

you looking like the slang dictionary. every word

34:38

it is. It's so that I set. Up

34:41

A so so so that I

34:43

don't miss. misquoted can use it

34:45

in a sentence in spots amassing

34:47

Up Flaps. Be. Avast flaps feel

34:49

about his lap dyslexia seal. I oppose

34:51

that sandwich. It That's less that oh

34:54

that song when you're like oh my

34:56

gosh, that new you know, whatever song

34:58

that Swinney right now that's left. It

35:00

means like like when people say like

35:02

it hits. Hard or like here. that's

35:04

as if with it's cool, it's free,

35:06

It's good, It's awesome. So.

35:09

Good. Other that slap slap slap can

35:11

I say that are it's it's it's

35:13

like I said you to redefine etti

35:15

were like language visa big like language

35:17

is it had to be a certain

35:19

way and of my friend he says

35:21

is all the time is like actually

35:23

language isn't necessarily getting every period and

35:25

punctuation your grammar been great Is it

35:27

the person you're communicating with understand what

35:30

you're saying. You're. Doing it right. That's

35:32

language to do it right. I'll love it.

35:34

Yeah and we'd we do that a

35:36

lot on the podcast when we talk

35:38

about different words, the meaning and even

35:40

in our workshops with what is feedback

35:42

means you, what is guidance means you

35:45

and and realizing that even radical candor,

35:47

what is care personally unchallenged directly look

35:49

like for you some serious alleys when

35:51

you think about these ideas of radical

35:53

to enter of curing personally. And.

35:55

Challenge Directly. And

35:57

it sounds like your. Husband

35:59

has been a wonderful thought partner as

36:02

like those kinds of reflections and I'm

36:04

curious he to one of things like

36:06

to hear stories when somebody. Cared.

36:08

And challenge to us and is is there

36:10

any one A moment in your life where

36:12

you feel like. You. Really received

36:15

radical candor from someone. Who.

36:18

Maybe someone said something that span the little

36:20

bed and the moment. That was useful. for

36:23

the next ten years since. We talked

36:25

about less as the inter which he doesn't

36:27

live without. You know he likes. He's lived

36:29

out in the back the excess of five

36:31

years. He's a lovely. I would say that

36:33

it is actually a part. Of our relationship in

36:35

the back. And the reason

36:37

for that in this is Philo, his words,

36:39

not mine. Is. That that's the

36:41

only way to build trust. Is. An

36:44

act Like you know when I

36:46

say something. whether it's a compliment,

36:48

whether it's feedback, That. It's

36:50

coming from. Have faith that you can trust because I

36:52

know I have it like. right? Like

36:54

so for example, from the simplistic, it

36:56

was a vacation. Maybe they'll Two years

36:58

ago we went on vacation to Mexico.

37:01

And. I was getting dressed

37:03

and having a dinner on the beach. Oh my gosh,

37:05

we're so fancy to didn't just a the didn't on

37:07

the beach and I'm like what? and we just flew

37:09

in. I'm gonna be cozy like it's just us. Not

37:12

a big deal. So I

37:14

get dressed in this just that ebrace it's

37:16

orange is my favorite colors on stress is

37:18

very from see like over sized. The back

37:20

is our it's like a line skirt all

37:22

the way to the floor very like said

37:24

terry cloth materials of kind a heavy on

37:26

the great This is comfortable I feel good

37:28

we're just gonna sit on the beach and

37:30

it's just us Cycle now and I'm like

37:32

I am ready to go. How do I

37:34

look. And he was like. They've

37:37

never done. is it's different. see your point? Like being

37:39

direct and being mean or two different things. Yeah, we

37:41

never says anything that will hurt my feelings. He

37:44

goes to me. I don't think that dress

37:46

looks like how you think it looks. As

37:49

of what you mean, he's like. I

37:51

see it looks like how you think it

37:53

looks. I think you think that dress is

37:55

looks good and I would like to. He's

37:57

like so I don't think it looks like.

38:00

The way you think it looks. You

38:02

know and I don't know knowing you're Sol, that's

38:04

what you're going for it. So I was like

38:06

okay you know it's up were being cozy and

38:08

so I changed into it a little black dress.

38:10

That. Was the night that we

38:13

got engaged while yes, But. If

38:15

we'd had not like, let's say we had

38:17

developed a culture within our relationship. And here.

38:20

I felt like he was just being me or

38:22

he was just like trying to take a job

38:24

at me or I didn't trust the worth that

38:26

were coming out his mouth. Adults and there are

38:28

times where you're just like out of here are

38:30

like this: Hundred percent said he knew that I

38:32

like to look good Like that is a part

38:34

of. Like really a part of our grew up.

38:36

My grandma. Was A. When you step outside you

38:38

you look presentable. That's how we grew up right?

38:40

and so he know that it's important to me.

38:43

So when he said that and I eat alone

38:45

behold there photos being taken over secretly that don't

38:47

know because I'm getting engaged and I looked at

38:49

him once in a where Iraq we did the

38:51

whole thing and there's fireworks and it's on the

38:54

pieces as your name is crying in a few

38:56

to one was perfect. We're. Walking back to

38:58

the room and else I thank you for not lead. To Be

39:00

ready. For instance, I would have been really

39:02

upset. And he was like i know you so

39:04

well you should have been caesar What set out how

39:07

to respond. And

39:09

so I think that it in see or

39:12

hear question and I receive a lotta radical

39:14

kinda with him i relationship and it actually

39:16

has done the a great service because I

39:18

trust with my husband says is in my

39:20

benefit It's where my growth it's never too

39:22

break down or bring me down or maybe

39:24

so bad about myself ever. It's always things

39:27

that he knows that I want or what

39:29

to do and it's a line with deal

39:31

to me up. And so for

39:33

me that is like. Like

39:35

a said, it's it's second nature. I

39:39

will say to funny enough

39:41

ah I'm always assuming. That

39:44

it's. Delivered. From of

39:46

faith of. Being. Like

39:48

Radical in their teens are now

39:50

members unless. It's

39:52

our memories little let us know what's they

39:54

don't like a womaniser, what they do like,

39:57

but I assume it's always coming from with

39:59

a place. They'll let you know the let me

40:01

know. Gently. That they didn't

40:03

like. My. Class or that they'd it

40:05

lives the fact that I talked over a

40:07

song or that I didn't play is certain

40:09

songs and again always or that I got

40:12

a fun fact wrong which I'll get those

40:14

because I don't always get the fuck tax

40:16

rate and I'll say i think but don't

40:18

quote me and their us will have it

40:20

is up there always correct me and a

40:22

be from a ride that I taught or

40:24

years ago and I'm I four years later

40:26

sir. I can you imagine how

40:28

many people on T M me a few

40:30

don't think I know that sounds wrong or

40:32

I can't change it and did it. It's

40:34

out there and eat. There is times you

40:36

are like the million person that told me

40:38

that when I did the Whitney Houston right

40:40

a Dolly Parton wrote that song I got.

40:42

I said i think it was someone else

40:45

I don't remember who I sought wrote. I

40:47

will always love you. But. It

40:49

was Dolly Parton. Okay, You

40:51

now. Know as the record

40:53

straight and and to be clear

40:55

you know we are filled with

40:58

not only radically candid criticism but

41:00

so much radically candid Praise L

41:02

A for all of the toy

41:04

inspiration and teaching and love that

41:06

you bring into into the world.

41:08

You He just sold our new

41:11

my new favorite Radical Can. Or

41:13

story I loved that. Yeah, that's a good

41:15

sore. And this is someone who loves orange.

41:17

and we love orange. But I think the

41:19

reason why it's so beautiful is because he

41:21

knew you so well to know what would

41:23

be meaningful and important. To. You

41:25

and that was at least really caring

41:28

and sees Okay, let's not. Let's

41:31

not become of two months. So

41:39

with Alley I want to make

41:41

certain has brought up a few

41:43

times in our conversation around behavior

41:46

change and practice and so much

41:48

of what we try to encourage.

41:50

With folks practicing radical candor, sometimes

41:52

the the courage to have those

41:55

conversations and you are doing so

41:57

much each day which takes. Her.

42:00

In practice, what kids do you have

42:02

for folks who might struggle with building

42:04

radical kinda as a habit since you

42:06

know a lot about habit building with

42:08

tips to have low I think that

42:10

had a building. Is hard for anyone. Let's

42:13

let's be clear about that. So have you feeling.

42:15

In at the if you're in a space

42:17

and you feel like wow, how are these

42:19

people doing this and I'd I'd just can't

42:22

like or I'm not. Trust.

42:24

Me that we've all been in that space

42:26

and or. Is. In that space when

42:28

it comes to something for us is a

42:30

building a habit is hard one of the

42:32

ways that I always. Encourage myself

42:34

truly. And folks around me is the

42:36

put it in front of you. I.

42:39

Do it again. I feel like I target the

42:42

father died hosts it notes and bunch of posts.

42:44

It suddenly. I. Like opposed it

42:46

nose clean. write it down the stick it in

42:48

front of these ticket on her desk ticket on

42:50

your baby craved he was when you go pick

42:52

up your baby out at a crappy say that

42:54

posted know when it's in your bathroom and your

42:56

mirror if you will have a locker you're driving

42:58

a car and you sometimes and you're in a

43:00

funny place and you have the with that whatever

43:02

that thing that covers the sun advise our yeah

43:04

i think you have an advisor. You. Put

43:07

a post that know of things that

43:09

you want to build a habit around

43:11

and it's that constant reminder right? We

43:13

talk about social media and I put

43:15

myself in an hour time limit. Some

43:18

some good at the our and sometimes

43:20

on that. But. The point of that

43:22

is it is what I recognize as that

43:24

I'm stealing myself every think. It's called a

43:26

feed your Instagram feed. It's right in the

43:28

words. You're feeding yourself all these things: How

43:30

can you watch a scary movie and be

43:33

shocked that you had scary drink snow you

43:35

were going i'm you just said yourself subconscious

43:37

your movie if you look at her thing.

43:39

On. My bed keep going. but don't

43:41

be shocked when. The next day you're like I

43:43

was. So. Terrified. I don't know,

43:45

I was so uncomfortable sleeping sick. That's

43:48

what you said yourself. Whatever you feed

43:50

yourself, that's exactly what's going. To ruminate

43:52

in your mind and what most likely you

43:54

will we going to teach. It'll show up

43:56

in your word choice. It would be your

43:58

head it and so. For. Me

44:00

that easiest way to build a habit

44:02

either when as. Hard as a. Put it right

44:04

in front of your face. It. You want

44:07

to run it indoors? Messing.

44:09

Bible up on track for five hundred my

44:11

twenty year my him extra bedroom because and

44:13

I leave the door open because any some

44:15

of our family were looking. At me it's

44:18

a reminds you how to get on.

44:20

For. Remind you that I love it and

44:22

so I do. I do that often I

44:24

put things in front of me to remind

44:27

me I have water bottles around my house.

44:29

I saw com as often as a lot

44:31

about. Oh in every room does. It's a

44:33

sit there you go It's a tangible reminder

44:35

to Cedric. Being dehydrated actually makes you Frankie

44:38

and me cranky is no good anyone in

44:40

the world. So again to be my best

44:42

self to build a habit I put it

44:44

in front of me and and that's exactly

44:46

why do of for working out I say

44:49

put on. L it on out and.

44:51

Just. For not, you have to put you off his address.

44:53

To sit it on washing dishes, Because

44:55

it becomes less scary, you become familiar with

44:58

it. and so for me those are things

45:00

as like it's whatever you're feeding yourself. Usually

45:02

that's the first that. Allowing. Yourself

45:04

to get familiar with it and then

45:06

for you to engage and eventually build

45:08

that habit. And so I do that.

45:10

Also. I

45:13

love that! So helpful! I also

45:15

love your five minutes. You just have to do it

45:17

for five minutes because once or five minutes and. It's

45:19

much easier to keep know him well as as.

45:22

He has any view. I mean life's too short of

45:24

you. Don't enjoy the workout, doesn't get out of it

45:26

like know what's holding you to? It's once you get

45:28

in any sort you get through the warm up Are

45:30

you get halfway through the one of the like. this

45:32

isn't this, that's almost as you like. I really liked

45:35

the some. And you lend the music

45:37

care you or the worth of the instructor carries.

45:39

Of five minutes go a long way

45:41

for solar yeah and I love the

45:43

idea of you really do create and

45:45

of multi sensory experiences save got the

45:47

music, you've got the movement. even with

45:49

Love Squad which on a spend a

45:51

few moments on talking about words and

45:54

so I love how year it's It's

45:56

just like a multi disciplinary multi sensory

45:58

experience that your korea that we don't

46:00

have to just rely on sort of

46:02

sheer willpower. There are other resources. That

46:04

we can access and other people community

46:06

to tell me about the origin of

46:08

Love Squad and and where it is

46:10

now. Yes, I love this. Question of

46:13

three things to say. The last was or just sort

46:15

of started. I was sad of the station in lack

46:17

of resources. I moved to New York in college. I

46:19

didn't know if I knew I wanted to be a

46:21

dancer. I knew that the I think didn't make money

46:23

so. I. Had to figure out how to make

46:25

money at. I also couldn't go to these

46:28

events where you know folks will be getting

46:30

young folks to be getting together and getting

46:32

making friends as learning about true building skills

46:34

and out that. Those. That position

46:36

and lack of entry I decided to

46:38

criticize myself a created a website. And.

46:40

I talked about things that I knew I don't

46:42

get out of bed without pressing snooze in college

46:45

right now. I know

46:47

how to except know as a dancer I was

46:49

gigging meaning I was going to audition and I

46:51

would get the know you know at some moments

46:53

and would hurt my feelings of how do you

46:56

deal with those notes And eventually Adidas felt the

46:58

website and they we shouted said you're writing about

47:00

women empowerment I didn't even know that I was

47:02

wide writing about women empowerment. I thought Weber's like

47:05

me I want to talk to them or whoever

47:07

is dealing with things that I dealt with work

47:09

that I'm dealing with. I. Want to talk to

47:11

them and so they really can you create some

47:13

some women a comic. Clinton's presence I

47:16

did, which was cool and.

47:18

I decided maybe this is a thing I created

47:20

a and event of like full set of us

47:22

just connecting on social media and to the website.

47:24

what do we all met up and at this

47:27

time I had fallen three thousand followers on Instagram

47:29

which is a lot of people but not out

47:31

of them anywhere. So I. I. Went

47:33

out and I found a space for free and I

47:35

got you don't get faster free house Just hustling to

47:37

make it and I became an event and or without

47:39

any. Experience in our you city

47:42

in a heart. City and so

47:44

I invited everyone our I said you know I'm

47:46

going to put this event it'll be free so

47:48

that you don't need resources to come here it's

47:50

you have that entry it's free. Tell a friend

47:52

bring someone with a city spot for the with

47:55

a small fee. And I opened

47:57

it up and with in like fifteen seconds with

47:59

seventy five. The ball I got. I like it

48:01

was like fifty people signed up with a seventy five.

48:03

Earth and Weightless. Know that? Okay, great. This. Is

48:06

good Yeah I had the as like may have

48:08

the event and he had to face a thirty

48:10

and I tell this story off and it was

48:12

eight thirty on the.know that you all have to

48:14

get out. Because. I don't have any money because

48:16

they're going to charge me as and I don't have any

48:18

money and I was like i love that your networking and.

48:21

I'll Be Things In the event consisted of me

48:23

sitting down with a girlfriend who built her brain.

48:25

And. She I'd just moderator the

48:28

conversation. And she shared. So she did it.

48:30

You know that now talk the most yourself network

48:32

has yet to meet someone who's than other. Okay

48:35

now that you networking your networking way too long

48:37

I knew you'd like college or that about half

48:39

an hour in a lie a lie and of

48:41

inviting everyone who signed up and the wait list

48:43

because I felt bad running away. So with the

48:46

fire code and I'd it more. Like,

48:49

you know? What about the. So. After that

48:51

of I said you know what? This is

48:53

great. Let's do this again. And so love

48:55

what was birth of the curiosity for conversation,

48:57

conversation at the catalyst for change right? We

48:59

know that no big decision is created in

49:01

our lives without a conversation internally and externally,

49:03

with a loved one, with a friend, with

49:05

a mentor, sometimes with a stranger and so

49:07

as like while they're this is something, it's

49:09

something profound and I want to do It

49:12

Doesn't have to be vague, It can continue to

49:14

be small. So I kept doing as

49:16

a continue to do events around New

49:18

York City. We done some in Chicago

49:20

like in London. Very small events and

49:22

it has been very beneficial. We are

49:24

all ages so it's not just like

49:26

oh folks in college it soaks in

49:28

college. Looking to get into the cruise

49:30

base is soak that are you know

49:32

parents that just actually are making maybe

49:34

the. Toying with idea of getting

49:36

back into the work space for them

49:38

to meet each other to share their

49:41

experiences and it's been very very successful

49:43

Under the second thing that I went

49:45

to say which is an. What?

49:47

You've had a touchstone and I was

49:49

kind of talking to my mom yesterday

49:51

about this. The sensory thing is the

49:54

effectiveness of words. Sometimes.

49:57

Some. Of will say something in a way that

49:59

will hit. You will get you

50:01

and you'll cry. it'll hit

50:03

you. A also triggered and

50:05

I recognize that. We. Have

50:08

that power and sometimes that nuance.

50:10

That. Personal Nuanced is an explored into our time.

50:13

I'm I'm a mom. When you say these

50:15

words actually like the trigger meets we have

50:17

been great opposition. Know that when you say

50:19

that to do. We. Role Play A

50:21

lot of genius. Our conversation with someone else so

50:23

we were having it, she was having and me

50:25

as I as if I was a stranger and

50:27

other. But when you say that to me, it's

50:29

triggered me and I would react this way. I'm

50:31

not sure they will, but like just so you

50:33

know, maybe there's a different word to his words

50:35

for to and I think that we forget that.

50:38

Are words can be very

50:40

impactful in. A good way and sometimes

50:43

in a not so good. And I oftentimes

50:45

bring this up when I talk and that

50:47

they're playing around in love. Glide is that

50:49

the best marketer like we talk about brand

50:51

reputation and what? You when I leave this

50:54

call how you feel about me the best

50:56

Recently the best brand that has ever set

50:58

foot on the earth is your Grandma. Grandma

51:01

has done it well as she hits all

51:03

of your offense to usually smells good. She

51:06

has a smell your grandma use not so

51:08

that's like she makes it taste like it

51:10

tastes knew you were in a comfortable space

51:12

for everything looks good. Like all here's your

51:15

senses are by being right now in in

51:17

the best space rights and if enough people

51:19

have great Grandma's but no criminal charges great

51:21

that's his left eye so like might when

51:24

I think of my grandma like while she

51:26

hits all the senses and that is what

51:28

a Great Britain does right. They tickle all.

51:30

Of your senses in some ways and I

51:33

think that which we have to keep in

51:35

mind that that's exactly what. we

51:37

want to continue to and that we talk about him of

51:39

lot for sore. For. I am. I

51:41

love that was a happy way

51:43

to wrap up our way. We

51:45

love talking to you. I do

51:48

a little are the embodiment of

51:50

radical candor, thank. You so much no

51:52

thank you for having me. I truly appreciate

51:54

it is is so cool it I guess

51:56

now I went as one more question if

51:58

you could be beyond your wildest dreams coming

52:00

back to us. In. Three years.

52:03

What? Would we be talking about. Wow.

52:06

I'm. I don't know. I hope

52:08

some of the same things I think. For.

52:11

Me being at villas on being elicit

52:13

a show. Like being. With

52:15

my has been being with my friends I do think.

52:17

History. Is.

52:19

A sign of success not always

52:21

but seeing some place at for

52:23

a long time. In. A

52:26

being happy during that time while you're there show

52:28

that is a lesser for success that I always

52:30

try to have. So I do hope. In.

52:32

Three years and I'm actually saying that I'm doing

52:34

a lot of the same stuff now. And

52:37

if somehow I became a diplomat. That.

52:40

If you really wonder if we really are

52:43

reaching, ah, Yes, I'm. I.

52:45

Became a diplomat of the country. Are

52:48

I am about? Have you heard it here at

52:50

an International Conversations and had enough with the will?

52:53

Better. I think you would make the

52:55

world. A better place for sure! If

52:57

this has been so fine, and

52:59

one thing, as we close, we've

53:01

been doing favorite thing a lot

53:03

lately alley and I know there's

53:05

probably not one favorite song on

53:08

your playlist Arms That if you're

53:10

looking to. Feel good.

53:13

On. The day that were recording this

53:15

is there a song if you are wanting to boost

53:17

your mood a little bit. What what song would you

53:19

put on that would make you wanna. Get.

53:21

Outta your chair. Distance right now

53:24

but right now when I now

53:26

damning report them said ali oh.

53:32

They're the name of no fly zone

53:34

right now and it's as yeah I

53:37

got that so it like. A

53:39

Big Scissors Outlaw. But I

53:41

love that will we can. Hopefully we

53:43

can as bad as we roll out.

53:45

Thank you again for taking time. Congratulations

53:48

on your guest hosting today! We had

53:50

a such a good time with you.

53:52

I tell everybody er at vi.

53:55

He. Wealthy Take Care. The Radical Can

53:57

or Podcast is based on the

53:59

book Radical Cancer He had Kickass

54:02

pass without losing your Humanity by

54:04

Can Scott. Episodes are written and

54:06

produced by Brandy Neil with script

54:08

editing by me Any similar. The

54:10

show features Radical Cleaner cofounders Kinda

54:12

Thought and Jason Rose off and

54:14

is hosted by me. Still in

54:16

his humor in it for a

54:19

semi is our audio engineer the

54:21

Radical Can or Podcast. The music

54:23

was composed by this old mother.

54:25

Follow us on that linked in

54:27

Radical Cantor the company and visit

54:29

us. At radical candor. Dot Com.