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In four weeks, a typical noon user can expect to move

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vary. Welcome to Radical Personal

0:31

Finances Show, dedicated to providing you with the knowledge,

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skills, insight and encouragement you need to live a

0:35

rich and meaningful life now, while building

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a plan for financial freedom in 10 years or

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less. My name is Joshua Sheets, I am your

0:42

host. Today, we begin with an article from today

0:44

in the Wall Street Journal. Dateline is April 25,

0:46

2024. U.S.

0:49

fertility rate falls to record

0:51

low. Fewer babies were

0:53

born in the United States in 2023 than any year since

0:56

1979. Here's

1:00

the first paragraph or two. American women

1:02

are giving birth at record low rates. The

1:04

total fertility rate fell to 1.62 births per

1:06

woman in 2023, a

1:10

2% decline from a year earlier. Federal

1:13

data released Thursday showed. It is the lowest rate

1:15

recorded since the government began tracking it in the

1:18

1930s. The

1:20

decline reflects a continuing trend as

1:22

American women navigate economic and social

1:24

challenges that have prompted some to

1:26

forego or delay having children. A

1:29

confluence of factors are at play.

1:31

American women are having fewer children

1:33

later in life. Women are establishing

1:35

fulfilling careers and have more access

1:37

to contraception. At the same

1:40

time, young people are also more uncertain

1:42

about their futures and spending more of

1:44

their income on home ownership, student debt

1:46

and child care. Some women who

1:48

wait to have children might have fewer than

1:50

they would have otherwise for reasons, including

1:54

declining fertility. The

1:56

actual total number of babies was in

1:58

2023. States tracked

2:00

and registered 3,591,328 birds.

2:07

That is 2.1% fewer than in 2022. And the total

2:09

fertility rate has declined to

2:14

1.62 children per woman down from 1.66 in 2022.

2:16

Now if this is your first time

2:26

thinking and talking about fertility

2:28

rates then welcome. Welcome

2:30

to the conversation. This conversation is

2:33

one of the most neglected in

2:35

our society and yet it

2:38

probably won't stay that way

2:40

for very long because this

2:42

is the issue that is

2:44

going to be making the biggest macro

2:46

impact in our lives over the coming

2:48

decades. The

2:51

statistics and the data are really,

2:53

really bad and I want to

2:57

take just a couple of minutes and

2:59

talk to you about this. I've been

3:01

talking about this on radical personal finance

3:03

for a few years but it's been

3:05

my experience that most people even today

3:07

have no idea how bad things are

3:09

and how bad things could get. Put

3:12

simply, we today all around

3:14

the world are below replacement

3:17

rates with the exception of Sub-Saharan Africa

3:19

and in many of our

3:22

societies substantially below replacement

3:24

rates. And the reality

3:26

is simply we don't have any idea

3:28

how low these rates can go. In

3:31

every place that we have data there

3:34

is not yet a bottom. There may

3:36

be someday an actual bottom to the

3:38

data. I hope so. But

3:40

the reality is right now in

3:42

wealthy industrial countries all around the

3:44

world we do not know where

3:46

the bottom is. Total fertility rates can be

3:48

as low as in Seoul, South Korea. There's

3:51

something like 0.54 babies

3:55

per woman. Now let's put this into

3:57

actual data or actual statistics that

4:00

you can see with your eyes. And then

4:02

I want to scare you just a little

4:04

bit with the trend line that we are

4:06

on. First, demographers, most of us

4:08

have heard that you need an average of about 2.1

4:10

babies per woman in

4:13

order to have a steady, stable population.

4:16

The 2.1 basically involves a man and

4:19

a woman replacing themselves with about a

4:21

0.1%, not percent, but

4:24

2.1 relates to the margin of

4:26

error for loss of

4:29

life early in childhood, babies lost, things

4:31

like that. So you need 2.1 babies

4:33

per woman. Let's make it simpler

4:35

and say it's two babies per woman,

4:38

just simply to replace ourselves as a

4:40

population. I want you

4:42

now to stop and to think about your

4:44

reference group, the peers that you have, the

4:47

community that you're involved in, coworkers,

4:49

neighbors, friends, social groups, community

4:51

groups that you're a part

4:53

of, your church, your local

4:56

parent teacher association, whatever it is that you're

4:58

involved in. I want

5:01

you to think about every woman that you know. In

5:04

order for the population of your peer

5:06

group to be steady, every

5:08

single woman that you know

5:11

has to have at least two

5:13

children. Every

5:16

woman you know has to

5:18

have at least two children

5:20

to maintain population. Now

5:23

many of us know many people who don't have

5:25

two children, who have fewer

5:27

or none at all. So for every woman

5:29

you know who has one child throughout her

5:31

lifetime, you should know another

5:34

woman who has three to

5:37

match them up. For every

5:39

woman you know who has zero children,

5:42

you should know at least one other woman

5:44

who has four or more. And

5:48

I think if you'll stop and you'll

5:51

think about your family, your extended family,

5:53

people that you know, you'll quickly realize

5:55

that your community is probably below replacement

5:57

rate, and in some cases substantially below.

6:00

because when we think about the women and

6:05

the women of the United States, the

6:09

women of the United States are

6:12

substantially below that. Now,

6:15

here's what's even more scary.

6:17

The rate of decline of these

6:19

fertility rates doesn't

6:21

have currently a bottom. I

6:24

heard an analyst the other day give this statistic. He

6:28

said, if you look at the rate of fertility

6:30

decline in the United States between the year 2010

6:32

and 2020, and

6:35

if you assume that there's

6:37

one generation every 30 years, what that

6:40

means is that in

6:42

the future, under those assumptions,

6:44

for every 100 Americans that are alive today, you

6:50

would have 4.3 great grandchildren. So

6:57

population of 100 Americans who are

6:59

alive today will

7:01

have 4.3 great grandchildren if

7:06

our society-wide population

7:08

decline continues. Most

7:12

people are unaware of the fact that virtually

7:14

all of the world, for

7:16

example, all of the Americas, North America,

7:19

Central America, South America, the Caribbean, all

7:21

of the Americas are under

7:23

replacement rate. Most of

7:25

the big countries of the world, China, far

7:28

below replacement rate, India, now below

7:30

replacement rate. Basically,

7:33

the countries that are

7:35

at or above replacement

7:37

rate are pretty much all

7:40

found in sub-Saharan Africa. That's

7:43

it. All of the rest of our

7:45

societies are all in decline,

7:47

and the rate of decline is varying.

7:50

The worst rates of decline are

7:52

centralized on megacities, especially

7:55

megacities in Asia. Like

7:57

I said, I think that in the last

7:59

year, the South Korean

8:01

total fertility rate for

8:05

the city of Seoul, which is of course the largest city,

8:08

was a double digit decline year over year to

8:10

something like a 0.54 total fertility rate. This

8:12

is going

8:16

to be the issue for the coming

8:18

decade. It's going to affect every area

8:21

of your life and my life. All

8:23

of our governmental systems, all

8:26

of our welfare state systems, all

8:28

of our economic growth projections, it's

8:30

all going to be driven by demographics.

8:34

And while we don't know what that's going to

8:36

look like, because after all the numbers could change,

8:40

the reality is that we don't

8:42

see any evidence of them changing

8:44

yet. The problem is

8:47

most people are not clued into

8:49

this for two reasons. Number one,

8:51

there's been a strong campaign for

8:53

at least 50 years, a strong

8:55

propaganda campaign that has been almost

8:57

entirely anti-natal, anti-children.

9:01

The most famous of course was Paul

9:03

Ehrlich's book The Population Bomb, in which

9:05

he predicted global famine and

9:07

disease and poverty due to too many

9:09

people. And that's become basically the zeitgeist

9:11

of our time, that idea that the

9:13

world has too many people and it's

9:15

got a change. Most

9:18

people are decades behind the demographic

9:20

reality that we're living in today

9:22

and it's understandable however why they

9:25

are. Because while birth rates

9:27

are low and heading lower all around

9:29

the world, total population

9:31

is high and continuing to increase for

9:33

I think about a decade at least.

9:37

The problem is that that increase in

9:39

population size on a global basis is not

9:41

coming from the fact that we're having more

9:43

babies. On the contrary,

9:45

it's due to extending lifespans for

9:47

old people. And so

9:49

our world is getting bigger and bigger

9:52

in terms of population with more and more old

9:54

people, but we're not having babies. And

9:56

here's the problem, we've been not having babies for

9:58

a very long time. And so

10:01

not only in many countries do we not

10:03

have babies today, we don't

10:05

have even enough women of

10:07

baby-bearing age to have babies. And

10:11

we don't have enough children, enough

10:13

young girls, teenage girls who are

10:15

going to be able to even

10:17

have babies to replace ourselves in

10:19

most cases. And so many

10:21

countries of the world are already in a demographic

10:23

winter and there's no solution

10:26

apparent for it. Scientists

10:28

all around the world are trying solutions

10:30

of various kinds to try to stem

10:32

the tide and change the numbers, but

10:34

so far there is not a single

10:36

sustained and enduring success story that we

10:38

can point to of a

10:41

wealthy industrialized country being able

10:43

to change demographics. I'd

10:47

like to do my best to start a

10:49

conversation here at Radical Personal Finance. And

10:52

while it's unlikely that you or I

10:54

can change the demographics of our country,

10:57

probably or possibly we can start

11:00

to change the demographics of our

11:02

community. And perhaps

11:04

we can have some rippling influence

11:07

that would result in us having more babies

11:10

within our own communities, within our own societies.

11:13

At the very least, I hope that we can

11:15

make this change within our own families,

11:18

within our own children, grandchildren, and on down

11:20

the road. And I want to talk today

11:23

about how we can invest money into

11:25

making that happen. There's

11:28

tremendous paradox with regard to

11:30

money. The reality

11:33

is most

11:35

of us don't value money

11:38

itself, but

11:40

what we value is what money is good

11:43

for, what money can buy for us. The

11:46

problem is that money itself

11:49

is what is easily measured. Because

11:53

money is expressed in financial terms and

11:55

we have a clear understanding of

11:57

how much we have, what the

11:59

current amount of it is, then

12:01

we can manage it very

12:04

effectively. Peter Drucker famously said

12:06

that what gets measured gets

12:08

managed. And I think that's true,

12:10

what gets measured gets managed. And we live

12:12

in today in a modern world in which we

12:14

can measure money and wealth very,

12:17

very effectively, more effectively than at any

12:19

time in human history. Go back

12:21

500 years and imagine you're some great, wealthy

12:24

lord of the manor, wealthy lord of

12:26

the estate. You've got a great castle,

12:28

you've got lands, you've got all of

12:30

this wealth. Would

12:32

you be able to actually measure your

12:35

wealth? If we

12:37

could just judge by Jane Austen's writings more

12:39

recently than 500 years ago, about

12:41

the best that a man could do to measure his wealth

12:44

would be to measure his income. How

12:46

much income his estate could provide for him.

12:48

And that's a useful measurement because income is

12:50

spendable. But the actual value of the estate,

12:52

the net worth, what we today in accounting

12:55

terms would call a man's net worth, was

12:57

very hard to measure. You

12:59

couldn't do back then what you can do

13:01

today with your fancy estate and go on

13:03

Zillow and get a zestimate telling you with

13:06

pretty decent accuracy what it's worth, what you could

13:08

sell it for today. You couldn't

13:10

have all of your investments and all of

13:12

your companies marked to the market with a

13:14

specific monetary value on a daily

13:16

basis. Back

13:19

then you just had a rough estimate of

13:21

am I wealthy or not. Today we can

13:23

know the exact dollar figure that

13:25

represents wealth. The problem is, is that

13:29

the only thing that matters? It's

13:32

pretty obvious that the goal of

13:34

a man's life should not be when he lays

13:36

his head in his casket to

13:38

have the most zeros behind his net

13:40

worth figure that his accountant draws up

13:43

for his final tax returns. That's

13:45

a pretty stupid measurement of a life. But

13:48

because it's easily measurable, that's what we

13:50

tend to optimize for. I have

13:53

a personal hobby of trying to come

13:55

up with other forms of optimization, other

13:57

things that we could measure that would

14:00

indicate more useful

14:02

metrics of life satisfaction.

14:05

Some version of a happiness score. Now you might

14:07

do that on a daily basis by tracking your

14:09

emotions with some app. You might do that by

14:11

tracking the number of minutes that you spend in

14:14

leisure time or the number of books that you

14:16

read or the number of widgets

14:19

that you produce with your hobby of

14:21

making stuff. The number of dates that

14:23

you go on with your spouse or the hours

14:26

that you visit with your parents or the

14:28

number of children's games that you attend. One

14:30

of my personal metrics that is kind

14:33

of interesting and informal is I optimize for

14:35

the fatness of my children's

14:38

annual photo books. My

14:40

wife makes for each of our children each year a

14:43

photo book containing basically the adventures

14:45

that that child has gone through in

14:48

this year with our family. The interesting

14:50

thing about taking pictures is that ordinarily

14:52

we don't take pictures of the day-to-day

14:55

commonplace happenings of our life,

14:57

the humdrum events of life. I didn't

14:59

walk into the office today and take a picture of my

15:02

microphone as I began a podcast

15:05

but we take pictures of things

15:07

that are out of the ordinary. They

15:09

don't have to be too out of the ordinary. I

15:11

might just go to the park and buy a

15:13

kite today and take my children to the park and

15:15

fly a kite but that's worthy of taking pictures. That's

15:17

a moment that can be captured in time and it's

15:19

worthy of taking pictures. So what we

15:21

do is we get all of our pictures together from the

15:24

year and then each year my wife makes a photo book

15:26

and some photo books are rather slender and lean, some

15:28

photo books are rather fat and

15:30

I like the fat ones because it

15:32

tells me hey there was enough texture

15:34

and variety in this past year to

15:36

make for a really interesting photo book

15:38

for my children and it's my hope

15:40

that with those nice fat books they'll have more

15:43

pictures that they can go back and look at

15:45

and enjoy and appreciate and recognize that hey this

15:47

was a really great adventurous year that I had

15:49

with my family. But

15:52

that's not the only metric that perhaps we should

15:54

consider. There are many others. Here's

15:57

one I would like to offer that I think

16:00

think is a reasonable metric

16:03

by which to judge your

16:05

success. Not

16:07

for everybody, but it's a reasonable one. How

16:11

many great grandchildren will

16:14

you have? This is the smell

16:16

of the leftover tuna fish sandwich you left

16:18

in your lunchbox over the weekend in a

16:20

wimpy trash bag. Wimpy, wimpy,

16:22

wimpy! And

16:25

this is the smell of that same sandwich

16:27

in a hefty ultra-strong trash bag. Hasty,

16:30

hefty, hot too! Ah,

16:32

smell the difference? Hasty Ultra-strong has arm

16:34

and hammer with continuous odor control, so

16:36

no matter what's inside your trash. Hmm,

16:39

you can stay one step ahead of stinky, and

16:42

for a bigger job, try the superior strength of

16:44

hefty large black bags. Have

16:47

you ever thought about it? How many

16:49

great grandchildren will you

16:51

have? Now, chances are

16:53

decent that you probably will never meet them

16:55

all, but ideally throughout your

16:57

life you should see some indications

16:59

of the trajectory that you're on.

17:02

And I think that's a pretty interesting metric for

17:04

us to consider. How

17:06

many great grandchildren you

17:10

have is a

17:12

reasonable life goal. And what I like

17:14

about this life goal is it's a

17:17

very positive life goal that

17:19

cannot be coerced. I

17:22

don't like goals of coercion. I don't like things

17:24

that you have to, you can force people to

17:26

do, because you can bend the world to you

17:28

in some way. I like goals that require you

17:31

to grow as an individual, me to grow as

17:33

an individual. And if I

17:35

desire to have a significant number of

17:37

great grandchildren who have issued from my

17:39

loins, then I need to be

17:41

the kind of guy who builds a family culture

17:43

and where that is possible. After

17:48

all, I can't coerce

17:51

the number of children that I

17:54

have. I could do my best

17:56

to plan for them, but I can't force it.

17:58

Some events of having children are outside

18:00

of my hands, outside of your hands, no matter who we

18:02

are. But let's assume

18:04

that I am able to have children.

18:07

If I'm able to have children, I can't

18:09

coerce my children to have children.

18:12

I have to inspire them to

18:15

have children. And

18:17

even if I could coerce my wife to

18:19

have children, which I can't, and

18:21

even if I could coerce my

18:23

children to have children, which I

18:25

can't, I certainly could not coerce

18:27

my grandchildren to have children. But

18:30

what I can do is I

18:33

can focus on investing into

18:36

my family, inspiring and

18:38

encouraging and leading my wife,

18:41

inspiring my children, giving them a

18:43

vision and facilitating their family formation

18:45

and then building a culture that

18:48

ideally would pass down through the ages where

18:50

my children would go beyond me and their

18:53

children beyond them and so on down through

18:55

the ages to the level of my great-grandchildren.

18:58

And I would have to do with all of that by

19:01

inspiration leadership rather than

19:03

by coercion or manipulation.

19:07

Now here's what's interesting. If

19:09

you put numbers to this, then

19:12

it can make it measurable. And

19:15

I don't know that this is a great thing

19:17

to put numbers to, but it's interesting to put

19:19

numbers to non-financial goals

19:21

and see how the math works out. So

19:23

let's assume that a guy like me, let's

19:25

assume that I have an ambition to

19:28

have 100 great-grandchildren.

19:31

Round number 100 sounds like a lot to

19:33

me. What

19:36

would be necessary for me to have 100

19:38

great-grandchildren? Well

19:41

at the moment I have five children. Now

19:45

I can calculate the total

19:47

fertility rate that would be needed in my

19:49

own family in order for me to have

19:53

that number of great-grandchildren. It's

19:55

pretty simple to calculate. And I've done the math.

19:58

I won't drag you through the whole formula

20:00

for it but in essence basically

20:08

that starts with the current number of children that

20:10

I have. If each

20:12

of my children and each of their children

20:15

had on average 4.47 children total fertility rate

20:21

of 4.47 children then

20:23

the math would work out that I would have 100 great-grandchildren.

20:26

I have five children if

20:28

they averaged across those five children again four and

20:30

a half children each some have three one has

20:32

seven one has five one has six etc then

20:35

it would work out to four if it worked

20:37

out to 4.47 and if

20:39

that continued on through my grandchildren

20:41

then I would have 100 great-grandchildren.

20:45

It's a rather interesting thought experiment to go through.

20:48

The interesting thing about that number is that I

20:50

think that's a very feasible number. I already have

20:52

five children so it's easier for me if I

20:54

had six or seven then it would be a

20:57

lower number needed to arrive at that 100

21:00

mark but the most important thing would

21:02

be how could I help my children

21:04

to have enough children. By the way

21:07

in today's world this goal is

21:10

I've never heard a motivational speaker say that this

21:12

is a goal that anybody should set. I've listened

21:14

to a lot of motivational speakers. I've read a

21:17

lot of books where people talked about net worth

21:19

goals and things that you should be focusing on

21:21

in terms of your net worth and how much

21:23

money you need for retirement. I've never heard somebody

21:25

say you know you should have a goal for

21:27

how many grand children you have or how many

21:29

great-grandchildren you have but although

21:32

this is unusual in today's world I

21:34

don't believe that it's unusual throughout human

21:36

history. If you go and you

21:38

spend time reading through ancient texts you will

21:40

find that the ambition that many men

21:43

and women had was to have many

21:45

descendants. The wealthiest

21:47

and most powerful throughout human history

21:50

have often had many descendants and

21:54

the promise of having many

21:56

descendants was an inspiring promise

21:59

for many The men of renowned throughout history. I.

22:03

Don't have the pride and arrogance to somehow

22:06

believe that. The. Last

22:08

century. That is indoctrinated

22:10

you and me with an ante natal.

22:13

Mindset. Should somehow

22:15

be more important than the multiple

22:17

millennia of which we have recorded human

22:19

history. The has a different mindsets now

22:22

would encourage you to think about your

22:24

goals and recognize that there's wisdom in

22:26

the ambitions of our forebears. So.

22:30

Consider it was so interesting. Also quick note

22:32

on this guy did the calculations I thought

22:34

to be fun. What's interesting is.

22:37

With. Every to because. Seconded:

22:41

Your total fertility rate is

22:43

something that can be changed.

22:46

And is is at an exponential factor.

22:48

The numbers can change massively. Was just

22:51

a small amount. I

22:53

should spend probably another thirty minute scaring who

22:56

you with the statistics. On the negative side,

22:58

I'm not. I'm choosing not to do that,

23:00

but there are resources you can go and

23:02

look for That would. Shockey with

23:04

how scary this population. Decline.

23:06

Is I don't like to use the

23:09

word collapse generally speaking, because it's a

23:11

it's a word that fraught with emotion.

23:14

However, this is an area in

23:16

which. It. Is a

23:18

proper to talk about population collapse.

23:23

I often want to be a little bit more soft

23:25

spoken. To my words, I talk about population decline. But.

23:29

It's proper to use the word

23:32

collapse in this because the exponential

23:34

effects of population growth can be

23:37

amazing. On the positive side, and

23:39

they can be amazing or. Shocking

23:42

on the negative sides. with how

23:44

quickly a population can absolutely collapse,

23:46

it's really remarkable. So. You're

23:49

just my numbers. I told you I have five children.

23:52

And if I had a goal of

23:54

having one hundred great grandchildren, then that

23:56

would require a total fertility rate of

23:58

four point four seven children. Third

24:02

child of mine. to have one hundred

24:04

great grandchildren are the reason I mention

24:06

that number is that that's a significant

24:08

number, but it's not out of sight.

24:10

I'm not trying to say that somehow

24:12

my children snub eighteen children each goes

24:14

not just to have as many children

24:16

as possible, but I'm the youngest of

24:18

seven. I have five children. I don't

24:20

think that four point, four seven is

24:22

an unreasonable total fertility rate. I would

24:24

say that in my social circle, having

24:26

four children is pretty average that there

24:28

are. I know of a handful of

24:30

friends who have. Two or three at I

24:32

don't have many friends my social circle who don't

24:35

wind up having any but then I know various

24:37

ones were six or seven so for is a

24:39

pretty average for is kind of the number that's

24:41

is the. The. The

24:44

median the the most com the

24:47

mode the most common number ah

24:49

among people in my in my

24:51

circle but. Here's. What's interesting?

24:53

Let's assume. That I

24:55

wanted to have two hundred

24:58

great grandchildren. Check

25:00

this out. That is him that I wanted

25:03

to. two hundred great grandchildren. I assumed that

25:05

I could get the total fertility rate. Of

25:07

my lineage down to up to five.

25:10

An average of five across population.

25:12

How many children? What I need

25:14

to have. The. Answer by the

25:16

way is not that many as Eight

25:18

Five Eight children and in my children

25:20

went on to have a total fertility

25:23

rate of five across my be two

25:25

hundred great grandchildren Now five. For.

25:27

You could do the math yourself. kind

25:29

of funded, run the math and just

25:31

see how small impacts when they're exponential

25:33

can make a difference To the point

25:35

I was making with Four Point Four

25:37

Seven is that's about double the self

25:39

reported total fertility rates that women in

25:41

the United States seem to say that

25:44

they want to have, so that the

25:46

number of. Children. That

25:48

women are knows they want to have. Depending

25:50

on the data that we look at us,

25:52

between two and three children per woman. A

25:54

total fertility rates that includes the people who

25:56

want for that includes zero, but the total

25:58

fertility rate that women desire. The have

26:00

ah on self reported survey seems

26:02

to be between two to three

26:04

the current total fertility rate and

26:06

United States is down at that

26:08

one point six two number as

26:10

of the most recent data. So

26:13

if we were to change this,

26:15

we would have to create a

26:17

different culture and we would have

26:19

to create a significantly. Different.

26:21

Environment and we would have to solve

26:23

the problems that are causing people to

26:25

not even have the number of causing

26:27

women to not even have the number

26:30

of children they say they want. Or.

26:34

To even actually want to have more

26:36

and I find this of and it

26:39

a thought experiment I think this is

26:41

Hop is worthy of your time. So.

26:44

Let's talk about the different

26:46

steps and talk about ideas

26:48

as to how we could

26:50

potentially invest money into. Your.

26:53

Great grandchildren and recognize that all

26:55

of this I'm repeating this for

26:57

the third. Tanks are really once

27:00

you get a clear, all of

27:02

this has to come from a

27:04

positive, inspirational perspective of leadership you

27:06

cannot cool worse or manipulate again.

27:08

Maybe you could manipulate something. You

27:10

could establish an enormous trust fund

27:12

and require that. It. Has disbursements

27:15

from the trust fund or based

27:17

upon certain number of children? I

27:19

don't think that smart. I think

27:21

that are it? At least eighty

27:23

percent of our focus should be

27:25

on the positive things that we

27:27

could do to inspire within our

27:29

own family and then to facilitate

27:31

using money, whatever anything possible to

27:33

help our children to have children.

27:35

So let's talk through the process

27:37

of your great grandchildren. The first

27:39

initial barrier for many of my

27:41

listeners. To. Having great grandchildren

27:43

is for you to find someone

27:45

with whom you can procreate and

27:48

this is. Astonishingly difficult

27:50

today. I. Grant

27:52

the difficulty of this. There.

27:55

are legions of young men and young

27:57

women who desire to marry desire to

27:59

have children and who at

28:01

least so far have been unable

28:04

to find a suitable spouse with

28:06

whom they can procreate. I

28:10

have some ideas that I think will help with

28:12

this. I'll deal with that in a separate podcast

28:14

episode. I'll share, you can gain a few ideas

28:16

from this episode, but we do need to

28:18

fix this. Right now in 2024,

28:20

relationship formation among young people is not working

28:23

the way that it should be working and

28:25

it's not working the way that it used

28:27

to work. Young people are

28:29

not marrying at the rates that they

28:31

formerly did. Young people are

28:33

not coupling up at rates that

28:35

they formerly did. Young people are not having sex

28:38

at the rates that they formerly did. For

28:41

above average men and women, women and

28:43

men who are highly attractive, then those

28:46

numbers are not so bad. We

28:48

can't just focus as a society on the top 10% of men

28:50

and the top 10% of women. Women,

28:53

we need to build a society that

28:55

works for most people. This

28:58

can be really, really difficult. I think where I

29:00

really started thinking about this was a number of

29:02

years ago when I was

29:04

doing private consulting work with clients, I

29:07

ended up having two separate women unrelated

29:10

to each other who both

29:12

hired me as a financial consultant

29:15

and both of them had chosen

29:17

to procreate without

29:19

a relationship with

29:21

a man. Both

29:25

of these women, as far as I could tell, seemed

29:28

like wonderful attractive women,

29:30

physically attractive. They were highly accomplished,

29:33

career driven. They did well. I,

29:36

of course, didn't spend enough time with them

29:38

to make a deep assessment of their personalities,

29:40

but they seemed like lovely attractive women to

29:42

me. Those

29:44

two women, neither of them had been able to find

29:47

a suitable man that they wanted to

29:49

spend their lives with. They were single women. They

29:52

had both conceived and

29:54

born children, planning for a lifetime of

29:57

single motherhood. I thought, is there

29:59

any worse indictment? That have a

30:01

society where. A

30:03

woman who seems attractive and everything like

30:05

that isn't able to choose a man

30:07

who who's working for her. And we

30:10

all know lots of men who have

30:12

not been able to. Normally men don't

30:14

go in and intentionally choose to procreate

30:16

without a woman involved, but maybe their

30:19

stories are out there, but it just

30:21

was pretty die opening to me of

30:23

how difficult things are. So we need

30:25

to be really working on changing these

30:28

things. But that is a significant barrier

30:30

is simply for you finding someone with

30:32

whom you can procreate. Or

30:34

the next barrier. For. You to have

30:36

many great grandchildren. For you to have one

30:38

hundred great grandchildren. Is free

30:40

to have children. and there are a

30:42

few things that you need to think

30:44

about here in your own thoughts: most

30:46

of the financial considerations of a talk

30:48

about in the context of your children

30:50

and their children. but there are some

30:52

basic things that you need to think

30:55

about. If. You've

30:57

been able to build a relationship

30:59

with someone with whom you desire

31:02

to procreate, you need to solve

31:04

fertility problems. There. Are

31:06

a variety of levels of

31:08

fertility problems. The first level

31:10

is to simply basic biological

31:12

fertility. A man's biological ability

31:14

to reproduce and a woman's

31:16

biological reaper the ability to

31:18

reproduce. Ah, right now for

31:20

men of my generation, our

31:22

sperm count is if I

31:25

understand what is reported properly,

31:27

something like half of the

31:29

sperm count of. My

31:31

father's generation. it is shut See

31:33

me. Ah. Testosterone levels

31:35

Are. Testosterone levels are half of

31:37

what the testosterone levels of my

31:39

father's generation. once so

31:41

sperm count but more point the

31:44

testosterone is in shockingly bad shape

31:46

and so there's a whole area

31:48

of exploration that men need to

31:50

be exploring to maintain high testosterone

31:52

and to maintain high sperm count

31:54

there are a lot of that

31:56

you can do and different disruptors

31:58

or problem It'll be a big

32:00

issue. You need to keep your

32:02

genitals cool. So anytime I see a

32:04

guy sitting there with his laptop on

32:07

his lap, I plead with him, please don't

32:09

do that. There's all kinds of factors

32:11

that need to be factored in, but you need to get

32:14

your testosterone checked and you need

32:16

to increase your testosterone if at

32:18

all possible with whatever the appropriate

32:20

medical help is. Many

32:22

women today have basic problems

32:24

with biological fertility as well.

32:27

I'm not as knowledgeable in that area,

32:30

but it is across our society, just

32:32

basic biological fertility is something that has

32:34

to be controlled for. And

32:36

if you desire to procreate and you

32:39

desire to reproduce, then that needs to

32:41

be a consideration. When I was

32:43

younger, before I was married, people would make jokes

32:46

usually about a woman and they would say, oh, she's

32:48

a woman with child, good child-bearing hips, that was the

32:50

joke. And when I was young

32:52

and in college, I dismissed that as sexist,

32:55

offensive, sexist language. Basically

32:58

like, why would you say something like that? Why could

33:00

you do that? That doesn't sound nice. I

33:02

never said I was going out in the world looking for a woman

33:05

with good child-bearing hips. As

33:08

it turns out, I was blessed with a

33:10

woman who has good child-bearing hips. And

33:14

when I've looked back at my ignorance

33:17

when I was in college, I now

33:19

am a little bit startled at how

33:21

stupid I was to fall prey

33:23

to the idea that, well,

33:27

I still today would never talk about a woman's

33:29

hips in that way, I wouldn't use that language

33:31

because I find that language offensive. The

33:33

truth that was behind that cultural

33:38

aphorism is

33:40

something that's important. And I

33:43

derive an enormous amount of my satisfaction

33:45

as a man from my family and

33:47

from my children and from my wife's

33:49

ability to have children. And

33:52

in hindsight, I was the fool at 20 for

33:55

just dismissing that as totally unimportant.

33:57

And so I think that Things like, Who

34:00

would he? and screening a spouse.

34:02

The screening yourself on the basis

34:04

of fertility is something that. While.

34:07

Awkward to think about or talk

34:09

about is probably something that would

34:11

play a factor at play a

34:13

role in our future Because these.

34:16

Basic. Issues have an enormous

34:18

impact on men's and women's lives

34:20

and have enormous financial impact. One

34:23

of the biggest expenses that I

34:25

see ah in financial planning from

34:27

wealthy people is often fertility treatments,

34:29

and when your babies cost you

34:32

tens of thousands of dollars for

34:34

each baby, you're gonna really think

34:36

about that quite a lot. and

34:38

yet some of that can hopefully

34:40

be avoided with better practices with

34:43

our children and protecting them from

34:45

that and protecting ourselves. As much

34:47

as possible from basic biological fertility

34:49

issues. The next

34:51

barrier for you to have any

34:53

great grandchild movie. but I call just

34:56

philosophical infertility, your philosophical fertility. If.

34:58

You want to have grandchildren and great

35:00

grandchildren. You need to marry somebody who

35:03

desires children. Both.

35:05

Men and women in today's

35:07

world are broadly infected by

35:09

a strong ante Natal ideology.

35:12

Philosophy and reality. And I don't

35:14

think much that you that you're

35:17

gonna change many people. And so

35:19

if you are young and years

35:22

doing something like setting a goal

35:24

of having many great grandchildren, you

35:26

really should start off on your

35:29

best foot by marrying someone and

35:31

pursuing somebody who is not philosophic.

35:33

Leave. Infertile, Up

35:36

now people can change fade out

35:38

to serve my own Dad's my

35:41

father's story. My parents had two

35:43

children and. Kind of

35:45

classic to children's story of how does

35:47

that the ryan go up. A girl

35:49

for me, a boy for you And

35:52

praise lord we're finally through rights. Boy

35:54

and girl done. That was my dad's

35:56

philosophy. he did not want to have

35:58

more children and then when his the

36:00

second child was something like eight years

36:03

old over a long period of. Of

36:05

Change. He came to adopt a different philosophy

36:08

and and it was a very difficult change

36:10

for him. My mom had wanted more children,

36:12

but my dad didn't But eventually he came

36:14

to be on board with wanting to have

36:17

more children and dedicating his life in that

36:19

direction. And he had five more. and as

36:21

the youngest of seven, I'm grateful that he

36:24

digs. I wouldn't be here if thought if

36:26

he had not changed. People can change. Men

36:28

and women can change, but you should focus

36:30

on filtering for people who want to have

36:33

children if that's something that you want to

36:35

do. And probably similar for those who

36:37

don't want to have children that you just don't

36:39

want to have. A significant.

36:43

Difference in your perspective. I

36:45

think that also though. Beyond.

36:47

Just simply being open to children. There.

36:50

Is And it's important that you build. An.

36:54

Awareness. Of

36:56

the fact that the data would

36:58

indicate that in general you probably

37:00

going to have a better and

37:02

happier life with children then with

37:04

that now you can go and

37:06

look into this yourself, but. People.

37:09

Who have children? You know this

37:11

intuitively if you just think about

37:14

the things that people value later

37:16

in life. There in today's antenatal

37:18

society where many, many people. Shoot

37:22

their tic toxin. Whatever about me, you

37:24

know we're highlighting how great life is

37:26

without children. You. Can

37:29

see that side and those arguments

37:31

against having children. Those arguments are

37:33

today very persuasive for many young people.

37:35

Many young people are not having

37:37

children to to buy stock considerations you

37:39

start to older people and to look

37:42

at the sociological data on older

37:44

people. Then you'll find

37:46

that. Family.

37:48

Life and children become in general a

37:51

very important part of a man or

37:53

woman. Satisfaction with life. I thought. put

37:55

this way, there was a. There.

37:57

Was a twitter conversation going on and the

37:59

data was showing about the percentage of adults

38:02

who had children and did that. The question

38:04

they were asked among Americans, forty five and

38:06

older. if you had to do it over

38:08

again, how many children would you have? A

38:10

would you not have any at all and

38:13

Americans were asked about that and I won't

38:15

try to read the whole chart to you.

38:17

But basically what you can look at is

38:19

that seven percent of parents over forty five

38:21

wouldn't have kids if given a redo on

38:23

life, to seven percent of people who are

38:26

older than forty five who have children would

38:28

not have children if given a. Second

38:30

opportunity. But fifty percent of childless

38:32

people would have children if they

38:34

were given another opportunity at life.

38:36

And a guy that I follow

38:39

put it this way says you're

38:41

in your late twenties your ambivalent

38:43

about children. Here's the probability: for

38:45

any given person, but not for

38:47

a specific person, have children. Ninety

38:50

three percent satisfaction rate. Don't have

38:52

children. Fifty percent satisfaction rate. So.

38:55

If. You want sued if you.

38:58

Know. That you want to have children,

39:00

you can pretty much have a ninety

39:02

three percent confidence according to that particular

39:04

study that that's probably the right move.

39:06

On the other hand, if you don't

39:09

want to have children, just know that

39:11

there's probably about fifty percent likelihood that

39:13

you're gonna regret that decision and then

39:15

make your decisions yourself. To think about

39:17

philosophical fertility for yourself as you're making

39:20

big life decisions and then age related

39:22

fertility to simply the biggest problem happening

39:24

in in. Reproduction.

39:26

Date and fertility data is that young

39:29

people are not having children. Users

39:32

the have the responsibility and wonderful

39:34

take lightly putting things like for

39:36

you to everything went out. Why

39:38

The. Building

39:44

Materials. Recently flew off

39:47

and orange have. Mean that. Is

39:50

rough. it is with your regular. Just.

39:55

Recently released Particularly Everything.

39:59

Interesting. If.

40:02

You want to have children. You

40:04

should begin to have children when

40:06

you are young. As

40:08

young as possible. and if you

40:10

want to have more than one

40:12

or two children, you should definitely

40:14

begin to have children when you

40:16

are young as young as possible.

40:18

Most men and women are utterly ignorant

40:21

of the impact of age on

40:23

a woman's fertility. At the age

40:25

of thirty, a woman has lost ninety

40:27

percent nine, zero, ninety percent of

40:29

the eggs that she was born

40:31

with. Ninety. Percent doesn't mean that

40:33

a woman cannot reproduce after the age

40:35

of thirty, but. The ignorance

40:38

that men and especially women

40:40

have on their ability to

40:43

procreate at. Advanced

40:45

Stages. Meaning. Past thirty is

40:47

pretty shocking. It's really shocking

40:49

and there is a high

40:52

overconfidence and for in the

40:54

effectiveness of fertility treatments. and

40:56

there is a strong under

40:58

appreciation. Across as a

41:00

side is flat out ignorance of how

41:02

easy it is for couples who are

41:05

in their thirties and beyond to conceive

41:07

children. The problem is

41:09

that we all get splash new stories across

41:11

our screen of so and So's forty seven

41:13

years old, had a baby. yes, And.

41:16

It was almost certainly with an egg donor.

41:18

I'm. If he's a celebrity,

41:21

People. Do have children. At.

41:23

Later age as it is possible, but.

41:26

The. Data on it indicates that it's

41:28

very difficult, often very expensive, and it

41:30

is not in any way assured. So

41:33

if you desire to have children then

41:35

they should be a priority for you

41:37

when you are young. Now

41:40

let's assume. That. You're able

41:42

to solve these basic problems. You're

41:44

able to meet and attract spouse

41:46

who wants to procreate. Once procreate

41:48

with you, you get married and

41:50

now you are thinking about the

41:52

next generation. You're thinking, how could

41:54

I spend money. In.

41:57

The direction of this goal of many great

41:59

grand. How could I do that?

42:01

I think it's really, really important to

42:03

think about the culture that you build

42:05

within your family member that we can't

42:08

coerce or manipulates our children to have

42:10

children. When to think about what are

42:12

the factors that are going to make

42:14

it likely for them to want to

42:16

have children? One great interest of mine

42:18

just in personal conversations. Whenever I meet

42:20

somebody. Who doesn't want to

42:22

have children? I try to understand why

42:24

tenants in what that person is looking

42:27

for and. Although I've I

42:29

come across as opinionated and whatnot on

42:31

the internet. Certainly that's my job, but

42:33

in real life I am. I don't

42:35

go through life judging people and genuinely

42:37

interested it. And I'm really fascinated by

42:39

people who, from my perspective would seem

42:41

to have had. A. Great lifestyle growing

42:44

up boot don't want to have children,

42:46

they just is not of interest to

42:48

them and I think one of the

42:51

factors is often that they just didn't

42:53

have a great childhood that they don't

42:55

look back with fondness on their own

42:58

childhood. I think that could be it.

43:00

Just a total death knell to your

43:02

ambition is to have many great grandchildren.

43:04

You need to start by beginning with

43:07

providing the best childhood that you're capable

43:09

of providing for your own children. And

43:11

that's going to begin with. The

43:13

relationship that you have with your spouse. Think

43:16

the first thing is you need to be

43:18

preparing to have a house that is large

43:20

enough to want to have children in it.

43:24

If. We look a global population. Group.

43:26

Fertility data. What? You

43:29

see is that. Not having

43:31

children. And

43:34

or having very few children is highly

43:36

associated with living in a big city.

43:40

Now. You could argue what

43:42

the cause is a correlation

43:44

or causation. As

43:47

it a correlation of you're surrounded by

43:50

other people who are busy professionals have

43:52

the city to make their fortune, and

43:54

you're just kind of infected by this

43:56

social contagion of not wanting to have

43:59

children or is the city itself causing

44:01

your childlessness or your low fertility? Now

44:03

it's a probably both. As with most

44:06

things of causation vs correlation, the probably

44:08

both involved. But as

44:10

a man who travels the world

44:12

with his. Wife. And five

44:15

children and who frequently stays in hotel

44:17

rooms. I. Will tell you

44:19

that life in a tiny studio apartment.

44:21

With five children is not pleasant.

44:24

It's not something that is enjoyable. You going

44:26

to need some space? you need some space

44:28

to to spread out, probably don't need as

44:30

much space you think you do. You probably

44:32

don't need a nine bedroom ancient, but you

44:34

do need some space and I think this

44:36

is one of the things that has been

44:38

very helpful with maintaining the U. S. American

44:40

fertility rate. as high as it has been

44:42

is of the United States is not such

44:44

a. Country. Of

44:46

big cities but is rather a country

44:48

of suburbs. What?

44:51

Out. While I would argue that suburbs are

44:54

not always good for children, And

44:56

in fact I prefer my children not Robin

44:58

a suburb of the cause them to be isolated

45:00

from society to be depended on cars and

45:02

things like that the don't give the much or

45:04

independents at an early age. Truth is that a

45:07

having your own house that's big enough and

45:09

that has a little yard has been much better

45:11

for overall fertility in the United States. for

45:13

his living in the middle of a cramped

45:15

city see to plan ahead in the have a

45:17

large enough house to want to have children

45:19

in it. You also need to have a marriage

45:21

relationship that is filled with sex. Children.

45:25

Are created. By. Sex.

45:28

Between. Husband and Wife. That's where they

45:30

come from. and so you need to

45:32

have a relationship that has built upon

45:34

strong romantic attraction and where you have

45:37

an active and vigorous sex life. and

45:39

that requires a significant amount of planning

45:41

and preparation to do well. And it

45:43

requires you to probably communicate and make

45:45

certain that if you're marrying somebody who

45:47

is open to Sacks and open to

45:49

children. One of the things that when

45:51

I was young man, I was pretty

45:54

naive about. The. Sexual problems

45:56

that people haven't relationships and

45:58

I was shocked. Nice are

46:00

interacting with people who would

46:02

share with me confidentially about.

46:05

Their. Nonexistent sex lies within marriage.

46:08

In one case, There. Was a friend

46:10

of mine and a client who. I.

46:13

Won't even recount that, but it was just

46:15

shocking to me. The baroness of his. Bedroom.

46:18

With his wife and that's something that is

46:20

an enormous problem and it has to be

46:22

dealt with. And so I say it. And

46:24

something of a shocking way to say that

46:27

you need to marry a marriage relationship that

46:29

is filled with sex. But it's very, very

46:31

important. It's very, very important that you create

46:33

the kind of relationships and the kind of

46:35

dynamics and you choose the kind of person.

46:38

Who. Wants to have sex with you and

46:40

then you need that have time to do

46:42

that over time and not be opposed to

46:45

children's he got you. Listen to people specially

46:47

from the Asian countries that have very, very

46:49

low fertility rates. You listen to them. It's

46:52

Dell spending so much time busy working nonstop

46:54

working working working working working working working that

46:56

sex and sexual activity just doesn't seem to

46:58

be a significant part of their life. They

47:01

don't seem to care and. I've

47:03

listened as interviews, Of Japanese

47:05

people going around interviewing people in Japanese

47:08

and listen to them and listen to

47:10

how much you know Married couples have

47:12

sex and it's shockingly infrequent. So I'm

47:14

not a therapist. I don't want to

47:16

be one, I just want to point

47:18

out that this this needs to be

47:20

discussed needs to be talked about. These

47:22

be plan for and you need to

47:24

make certain that your screening and be

47:26

that that prior to marriage that your

47:28

screening for somebody who's gonna be able

47:30

to match your own sexual appetites and

47:32

that the relationship that you build is

47:34

the kind of relationship. That has the

47:36

realm of the appropriate safety and the

47:38

appropriate romantic attraction for their to be

47:40

plenty of sex. Because children come from

47:42

sex, you also need to make sure

47:45

that you have enough disposable income to

47:47

feel like children aren't a burden and

47:49

you need to plan financially to eliminate

47:51

the obstacles to children. What are the

47:53

obstacles or obstacle number One often involves?

47:55

If you listen to young people who

47:58

don't wanna have shown they're not ready,

48:00

I don't I can't afford one of

48:02

the obstacles. The first primary one. Involves

48:05

debt. Student. Loans. Being.

48:08

In Debt is a pretty

48:10

good contraceptive. Keys people from

48:12

wanting to have children, so screen for

48:15

that screen for that. prior to marriage

48:17

yourself. Don't marry somebody who's deeply indebted.

48:19

If you're deeply in debt and you

48:21

want to get married, get rid of

48:23

the debt. And you need to

48:25

be aware of the fact that these are

48:28

some of the psychological follow on effects that

48:30

are often not talked about purely in financial

48:32

analysis. One. Of the reasons

48:34

people don't pay off their student loans

48:36

is because they see them as good

48:38

debt. and in one sense they are

48:41

good debt. Sometimes financial loans can enable

48:43

you to earn a significant amount of

48:45

money off in The interest rates on

48:47

student loans are quite low compared to

48:49

what you could earn with alternative investments.

48:52

In many cases, financially, it makes sense

48:54

for you to invest. Into.

48:56

Things that are gonna Out Return your student

48:58

loans. I can't argue with

49:00

that. If your student loans are at a

49:03

rate of three point five percent and you

49:05

can invest at a rate of three point

49:07

Five zero one percent, then mathematically use go

49:09

in invest the money instead of paying off

49:12

the. Problem is.

49:15

Though. Student loans or in many cases

49:17

a pretty effective contraceptive. And so

49:19

if you want to have children,

49:21

you probably should consider clearing off

49:23

their student loans because the freedom

49:25

that you feel and the confidence

49:27

that you feel with regard to.

49:30

Being. Debt free me.

49:33

Give. You the courage and strength to

49:35

go ahead and have children when you

49:37

want to, especially at a young age

49:39

when you're able to. As

49:41

compared to the long term future benefits

49:44

of eighty two years from now, you

49:46

having a slightly higher net worth because

49:48

you've just made the final payment on

49:50

your debt on your student loans with

49:52

your three point five zero one percent

49:54

returning investments. Miss the

49:56

problem faced by. Got a bit balance math and we

49:59

got a balanced life. And sometimes

50:01

in math always should inform lives.

50:03

but life is not a mathematical

50:05

calculation. The second thing that often

50:07

causes people to not have children

50:09

is are not owning a home.

50:12

So again, you should consider owning a

50:14

home as quickly as you're able to

50:16

and. Putting. Yourself in

50:18

a situation in which that

50:20

home is. A relatively

50:22

small. Fraction. Of

50:24

your. Overall financial

50:27

incentive: An overall financial

50:29

value from a purely

50:31

fertility based analytical lens.

50:34

A. Couple who buys a small

50:36

home. Maybe. One of

50:38

them but the home and own the

50:40

before coming in a small single family

50:43

home or has it debt free and

50:45

who has no debt that couple as

50:47

much much more likely to welcome many

50:49

children into their life as compared to

50:51

a couple that lives in an apartment.

50:53

the has student loans and is paying

50:55

rent payment every month so you need

50:57

about those and build l a lifestyle

50:59

where you can do it and you

51:02

want. make sure that you have enough

51:04

disposable household income, just feel like you

51:06

can afford children. What is disposable. Household

51:08

income will. First of all, it

51:10

starts with the total amount of

51:12

money that you earn. If you

51:14

look a fertility rates, there is

51:16

an inverse correlation based upon whether

51:18

you are a man or whether

51:20

you are a woman. Men: As

51:22

men's income increases, the total number

51:24

of children that men have increases

51:27

concomitant with that rise and income.

51:29

For women, it's the opposite that

51:31

as women earn higher wages, earned

51:33

more wages than the number of

51:35

children that women have goes down.

51:37

I think. That's intuitive. Note:

51:39

By the way that that is

51:41

not the same analysis as. Women's.

51:44

Overall income or overall household

51:46

income but as based upon

51:48

wages women who are wealthy.

51:51

Women: Who have a high household income and

51:53

or who are women, are a wealthy Women

51:55

have royalties, Women who have investment assets. They

51:57

do not suffer a decline in fertility. throughout

52:00

their lifetime because of their high

52:02

income. But women's wages are an

52:04

indicator, making a lot more likely

52:07

that a woman has fewer children

52:09

if he earns higher wages. Were

52:11

as man, it's the other side,

52:13

but total income is only one

52:15

component of that we need to

52:17

focus on disposable income. And disposable

52:20

income is income that is available

52:22

basically margin in your budget and

52:24

disposable income. Is something that

52:26

is controlled based upon your expenses, based

52:28

upon what you are committed to. So

52:30

you can have a household income of

52:32

one hundred thousand dollars. But if your

52:34

household expenses are say ninety thousand dollars

52:36

than that couple is not going to

52:38

feel financially confident to have children, how

52:40

could we do anything more? On the

52:42

other hand, if the couple had household

52:44

expenses of sixty thousand dollars the now

52:47

that couples gonna feel much more confident

52:49

to have children. So you need enough

52:51

disposable household income to feel like children

52:53

are not a burden. And

52:55

finances are an important component of that's So if you're

52:57

in debt, get out of that. If you can buy

52:59

a house, buy a house. You can do it with

53:01

a low amount of money. Do it, and that's going

53:03

to be more likely for you to be able to

53:05

have children. You

53:08

need to develop the personal parental

53:10

skills that will help your family

53:12

life to be joyful. One big

53:14

obstacle. To. People having children,

53:17

Is. If you feel like he can't even handle the children that

53:19

you have right now. Generally

53:22

speaking, I never set out to have five children.

53:24

That wasn't the goal at that I've I would

53:26

have said a wife and I have reviewed asked

53:29

us ten years ago. Buddha said okay well we'd

53:31

like to have children but we didn't have a

53:33

number. I didn't have planned to create a mega

53:35

family at the time he didn't have an ambition

53:37

to have one hundred great grandchildren is gonna happens

53:40

one by one. But as with each child you

53:42

want a basically consider your life and the goal

53:44

is can we hit the to? The thing is

53:46

basically can we handle this Like are we in

53:49

charge of our family? Are we in control? Are

53:51

we? Are we managing. This or are we

53:53

overwhelmed Cause if you've got a couple that's

53:55

just sinking under the burden of their children,

53:57

then they're not gonna want to have more

53:59

children. And so we want to

54:01

build skills and parental skills that are

54:03

going to help family life to be

54:05

joyful. Obedient children are joy. Disobedient.

54:08

Children. Are Not. Ah,

54:12

I don't like to compare children the dogs, but

54:14

I think in this case we could compare it

54:16

to a dog. If you've got a dog and

54:18

your dog is beautifully behaved and you'd tell your

54:20

dog to com as a dog comes and you

54:23

tell your dog stop the doc stops, then. For.

54:25

You, the dog is a blessing and a joy to

54:28

your life. But he got a dog that just runs

54:30

out the door at every turn. And

54:32

that stands in the middle, the table and

54:34

peas and your flower vase. Then there's a

54:36

good chance you're not going to want any

54:38

more. Dogs and children are similar is a

54:40

skill that you have as a parent to

54:42

deal with children. Is. Going to

54:44

make a big difference in the likelihood of

54:46

you're having more children. And this is one

54:48

of the greatest tragedies in our current environment.

54:51

That causes people to have children is that

54:53

you have a family the has one or

54:55

two children in the children running their life

54:57

and they don't really have any where they

54:59

can go or anyone that they can talk

55:01

to they trusted to give them advice. We've

55:03

had an enormous professionalization of child advice. he

55:05

went back a hundred years. They were not

55:07

any books written on how to raise a

55:09

child everyone grew up around. children had a

55:11

society told an all round everybody kind of

55:13

naturally absorbs. How to have children In today's world

55:15

with a dearth of children. Now gonna have a baby

55:17

and we suck on reading. Fifteen bucks and you have

55:20

no way to filter and know the it was. The

55:22

advice you're getting in the book is good or not.

55:24

you just. Grab something that fits with you

55:26

and can exit the uni, go on with it's

55:28

and. With. You and so people

55:30

don't really have the experience and then

55:33

many people don't have the skills that.

55:35

In many cases, young fathers and

55:38

mothers today. They don't. Have

55:40

any model for for skills dealing with

55:42

children. They don't know how to do

55:44

it. And that means that oftentimes their

55:47

family life is not a joy, it's

55:49

a burden. It's a tragedy. Saw this

55:51

for renders video recently of this mob

55:53

walking around our house with a camera.

55:56

And ah he goes mom. I watched of the

55:58

sound off but she's walking rather. Also, the

56:00

camera showing in every room she goes

56:02

into is a disaster zone. and there

56:05

are just their toys everywhere. Every single

56:07

floor is covered with toys. Everything is

56:09

destroy. The entire house is a rap.

56:14

That video would be the most powerful

56:16

contraceptive you can imagine for just an

56:18

average young man or woman. But it's

56:20

not because you have to live that

56:22

way with children, as because of the.

56:25

The. Mother and father's ineptitude, his parents

56:27

and their unwillingness to clean up the

56:29

house. I. Have five children of

56:32

my house. It's not ready to be

56:34

photographed on of the front page of

56:36

Martha Stewart living every day. but the

56:38

at every moment because children get toys

56:40

out, they play with them, things happen,

56:42

you get involved in projects and and

56:44

a good normal that there's going to

56:47

be disruption to a house. If you

56:49

wanna live in a museum, don't get

56:51

married on have children but. The.

56:53

House has presentable by the end of the

56:55

day. And it can be made

56:57

presentable and ten minutes of picking up things

56:59

and assist the habit as a simple skill

57:02

of picking things up and keeping a health

57:04

picked up and you can expand that to

57:06

every area of parenting, learning how to work

57:08

with children, something the as to to gone

57:10

so developing and skill acquisition. Needs.

57:12

To be a component of what parents

57:14

do. Because you want your family life

57:17

to be joyful. You want your children

57:19

to grow up in a house that's

57:21

filled with peace and harmony and love

57:23

and tranquility. And they're not gonna see

57:26

you know, the Legos out on the

57:28

floor as a disruption to that. But

57:30

if they live in a a hellhole

57:32

than they're not gonna want to have

57:34

children. And so you want to think

57:37

about that, you want to have children.

57:39

A supportive community will be enormously helpful

57:41

to you and. So. You. May

57:43

have to create it yourself. You you may

57:46

not know anybody who wants have children but

57:48

you may want you wanna come around it

57:50

I'm and get yourself a round. A community

57:52

of people who also like children want to

57:55

have children. You may have to amputate negative

57:57

peer pressure and that may even be family.

58:00

In my wife and my family, we

58:02

have family members. We have to steal

58:04

ourselves against the opprobrium that we received

58:06

from certain family members due to our

58:08

reproductive choices. Just deal with it. this.

58:10

Dell Yeah, we're not going to tell that

58:12

person were expecting a baby, would let them

58:15

find out when the baby arrives at easier

58:17

that way and this is pretty normal. I

58:19

know my parents. Have

58:21

one point in time, my

58:23

mother's parents I. Strongly.

58:25

Offered they were worried about how many babies my mother

58:27

was having. This it listen, will pay for you to

58:30

be sterilized, Will pay for the surgery for you to

58:32

be sterilized. My parents had to look him in the

58:34

eye and say get outta here like you're not involved

58:36

in this component of our life. And if you continue

58:38

to press on, this. That this.

58:41

Is the end. And so sometimes you

58:43

have to take a choice dismember. That's

58:45

you have the right to live your

58:47

life the way that you want to

58:49

live and was astonishing to me is

58:52

that in the. Current

58:54

Wave and where we are

58:57

is that there are two

58:59

sides to rights. There.

59:01

Are enormous numbers of people who were scandalized

59:04

about reproductive rights and was you have no

59:06

right to tell me what I can do

59:08

with my body and what I can do

59:10

with the baby that's inside my body. These

59:12

my reproductive rights. That's the cultural ethic. But

59:15

in many cases those same people feel like

59:17

they have the right turn around and tell

59:19

you that you can't have another baby if

59:21

you want to have a baby, dust between

59:23

a husband and wife. Know. What

59:26

else involved and that's it. So deal

59:28

with it in that context and shut

59:30

out everyone else around. But you'll find

59:32

that there's a community around you are

59:34

supportive. community will be enormously helpful to

59:36

you soon. Just some thoughts in terms

59:38

of yourself: those are incomplete. but now

59:40

I want to focus on. How

59:43

do we get the next generation? How do

59:45

we get our children. To.

59:48

Want to reproduce? And how do we

59:50

facilitate that? The talks about the pleasure

59:53

in the memories. Ah, If

59:55

your children associate their

59:58

own. Childhood. With

1:00:00

a pleasant family dynamic then there's

1:00:03

a decent chance that regardless of

1:00:05

whether you indoctrinate them with a

1:00:07

pro natal message they're gonna wanna

1:00:10

put continue it because they just

1:00:12

naturally associate childhood with pleasantry but

1:00:14

with person experiences and if you

1:00:17

have a your children are going

1:00:19

to. Think that they'd Varma

1:00:21

that they're raised in is pretty much what's

1:00:23

normal. In. dealing with multiple

1:00:26

children. So I talked about parental skill.

1:00:28

Parental. Skills change over time. The cool thing as

1:00:30

the children usually come one of the time, sometimes

1:00:32

the come two or three a time. Most the

1:00:35

Time Warner Time and your skills can change has

1:00:37

really great ah with one baby of our whole

1:00:39

set of skills. with the second baby learn a

1:00:41

whole different set of skills of the third, one

1:00:43

of the fourth, one of the fifth, one of

1:00:45

the just a different set of skills that every

1:00:47

state along the way. The cool thing however is

1:00:49

that is not only mother and father who are

1:00:51

learning skills but your children themselves are learning skills

1:00:53

and one of the reasons that. Low.

1:00:55

Fertility rate countries. Have

1:00:58

falling fertility rates? is

1:01:00

that the people in

1:01:02

those countries can't even

1:01:04

imagine. How to be apparent Have

1:01:06

multiple children. Let's say the

1:01:08

you grow up in. A

1:01:11

one. Year. The

1:01:13

single child is a Chinese family. And

1:01:16

you don't really know anybody you know,

1:01:18

couple of he loved one or two

1:01:20

people who have two children you don't

1:01:22

know anybody, us six children beautiful, you

1:01:24

don't know anybody and all of your

1:01:26

extended family has just one child. Will

1:01:29

the. Idea of having two children to

1:01:31

something you're gonna have no context for.

1:01:33

You grew up in as a as

1:01:35

one child you didn't even have brothers

1:01:38

and sisters shouldn't have a younger brother

1:01:40

says you didn't. Seats your parents interacting

1:01:42

with children have multiple ages, You just

1:01:44

have one child. That's all of your

1:01:46

frame of reference. The idea of having

1:01:49

two children is literally unimaginable to you.

1:01:51

You take all of your ideas

1:01:54

and input and in philosophy from.

1:01:56

What? You see on Tv. And. Since

1:01:59

what you see on Tv or the

1:02:01

movie can be sensationalized one where the

1:02:03

other either all glowing positivity are all

1:02:05

scathing, negative negativity based on the agenda

1:02:08

of the producer, then you don't really

1:02:10

have any context for such as becomes

1:02:12

literally unimaginable to you and the same

1:02:15

thing continues to the generations. Good thing

1:02:17

is that your family contains that's and

1:02:19

so I grew up with. Multiple.

1:02:22

Siblings. And so the idea of having siblings

1:02:24

around is totally normal. And then even if

1:02:26

you're the youngest like I was the youngest

1:02:28

and my growing up my older siblings got

1:02:30

married, had children. always around. Lot of children's

1:02:32

the idea of happening around. lot of children's

1:02:34

a totally normal things and so that's one

1:02:36

of the reasons you should focus on. Building.

1:02:39

A community if at all possible of

1:02:41

other people who have children because out

1:02:43

oh form of frame of reference for

1:02:45

your children's and you want children to

1:02:47

think about their childhood and take pleasure

1:02:50

in it. Back to Asia I myself

1:02:52

shudder when I see videos about. Asian

1:02:55

children's Youths. And

1:02:57

you find these videos and. Basically

1:03:00

as best I can tell the children

1:03:02

and that in many of those cultures

1:03:04

and Asia or live their lives chained

1:03:06

to a desks doing. nonstop

1:03:08

academic book work with threat of

1:03:11

a teacher's ruler coming down on

1:03:13

the back of their next. Little.

1:03:15

bit of hyperbole. not much in that. The

1:03:18

intense academic burn out a guy in

1:03:21

the Some Guy in India recently. Posted

1:03:24

his like high school study schedule at

1:03:26

with this is insane degree of academic

1:03:28

commitment to study. Stay steady, steady if

1:03:30

that's your memory of childhood as all

1:03:33

academics, just nonstop study study study study

1:03:35

study study. Why do you want to

1:03:37

bring children into that? It's an utterly

1:03:40

miserable life in a miserable existence. Yes,

1:03:42

there's break, son. I'm not. Being.

1:03:44

Too extreme with my views of just

1:03:46

drawing from the overall perspective when I

1:03:48

think of my childhood. I

1:03:51

think of pretty much nothing but pleasure.

1:03:53

Saw My most intense and appreciated family

1:03:55

memories just involved traveling across the United

1:03:58

States of my family, Anna and. Nash.

1:04:00

And saying national parks and state parks

1:04:02

was a beat up old pop up

1:04:04

camper am didn't cost my parents a

1:04:06

lot of his, cost them some time

1:04:08

and to go out to do that.

1:04:10

but yet those families environments where so

1:04:12

conducive to relationships we would stay in

1:04:14

campgrounds probably could we didn't have much

1:04:16

money. but also because you stay in

1:04:18

hotels with children or nothing to the

1:04:20

children to do or say in a

1:04:22

campground says nonstop work or play is

1:04:24

just all around And so those family

1:04:26

dynamics of just being together is most

1:04:28

of my memory of of childhood. Holiday

1:04:30

Gatherings When. Yep, holiday gatherings of lots

1:04:32

of people. They're super fun and our

1:04:34

holiday gatherings were always big. It wasn't

1:04:37

you know. Three people gather round the

1:04:39

table. There are always enormous. And what's

1:04:41

interesting about the fun of large families

1:04:43

is that not only do you yourself

1:04:45

have lots of children, but the marginal

1:04:47

cost of having other people in your

1:04:49

life is usually not that big. So

1:04:51

imagine that your family of three right

1:04:53

to parents in a a child and

1:04:55

you're going to go out and invite.

1:04:58

You know, for for single people to

1:05:00

join you for Christmas dinner. There's always

1:05:02

in Iowa a spinster that you know,

1:05:04

an old lady who doesn't have a

1:05:07

family. There's always some committed bachelor that

1:05:09

you know when. There's always a. Jewish

1:05:12

guy hadn't and just very and a

1:05:14

disabled person writes them at I don't

1:05:16

like com strays but honestly that's what

1:05:18

I call him as it's very straight

1:05:20

and so our family always collective the

1:05:22

straits. Just imagine your three people and

1:05:24

you collect four strays from your Christmas,

1:05:26

your Christmas dinner. That's an enormous imposition

1:05:28

on your lifestyle. You probably don't even

1:05:30

have enough plates, you don't have enough

1:05:32

tears, your tables not big enough for

1:05:34

it's and so it's a. It's. A

1:05:36

big deal. A. Growing up with seven

1:05:38

children we were always at least

1:05:40

nine and so for my parents

1:05:43

to collect for five strays for

1:05:45

meals was just not that big

1:05:47

of a deal and so that

1:05:49

that makes a fundamental difference in

1:05:51

the experience the someone has growing

1:05:53

up. an environment where there's lots

1:05:55

of people and people are so

1:05:57

she was joy and with fun

1:05:59

and. Just simple experience changes

1:06:01

your perspective of life and so

1:06:04

you want to work really hard

1:06:06

to facilitate and enjoyable childhood so

1:06:08

that your children will have this.

1:06:11

Perspective. And so if

1:06:13

you need to spend money to have a

1:06:15

bigger dining room table, go buy a bigger

1:06:18

dining room table. If you need a bigger

1:06:20

house, go buy a bigger house. Need a

1:06:22

big cargo to bugger carts? These things are

1:06:24

things that you can do to basically create

1:06:26

the party wherever you go and just trying

1:06:28

to share honestly and truthfully. In

1:06:32

our current lives. In our current

1:06:34

world. All. Of the infrastructure

1:06:36

of lies is designed around very

1:06:38

small families so I had a

1:06:40

friend of mine. Growing

1:06:43

up good friend. They had two

1:06:45

children and they always had a

1:06:47

of normal cars but the cars

1:06:49

were always five see cars and.

1:06:52

These. Were good friends of ours. Lovely

1:06:54

couple. No. No argument

1:06:57

or judgment of any of any kind.

1:06:59

I don't even know anything about their

1:07:01

reproduction. I wouldn't judge anybody, but my

1:07:04

mob submission was always. They always had.

1:07:06

Four. Of them and four of them always

1:07:08

filled up the cars so they had. Two.

1:07:11

Cars five see cars and for the

1:07:14

always tilted up. They

1:07:16

were never with other people. They.

1:07:19

Were never with other people. They never invited anybody to

1:07:21

go with them. They never had room

1:07:23

in their car for them. They never invited anybody to

1:07:25

go with and they never did. they were just they

1:07:27

were they would go that would go to an event

1:07:29

but they are what always go in their own car.

1:07:32

And when I can think about that with

1:07:34

my own childhood growing up, my dad always

1:07:36

had a trial passenger van. He didn't need

1:07:39

all the seats, but ours was always the

1:07:41

party bus. bring in four or five other

1:07:43

people with us and it was just always

1:07:45

the case. And so we grew up with

1:07:47

lots of other people in our lives and

1:07:49

that simple the just a goal. Difference

1:07:52

makes an enormous qualitative

1:07:55

difference in your experience

1:07:57

of life. And

1:07:59

your. Syrians of people. I.

1:08:01

Would be very surprised if my friends with

1:08:04

the two children if any of their children

1:08:06

went on the have many children. It's.

1:08:09

Just not part of their culture and they

1:08:11

can make the decisions they want to. People

1:08:13

can change. My my dad was one of

1:08:15

two and he had seven. so people can

1:08:17

change. My point is that these cultural things

1:08:19

matter in today's World week. I have bought

1:08:21

a car, seats and and whatnot. It keeps

1:08:23

people from even being together as a year.

1:08:25

Sometimes from my clients people interact with one

1:08:27

of the big problems the socialization is unlike

1:08:29

even thirty years ago, you can't have someone

1:08:31

to go pick up your kids for you

1:08:33

because you've got young children and in used

1:08:35

to be would work it out and say

1:08:37

hey I'll drop the kids off. A practice

1:08:39

skinny Go pick them up. Know I can't

1:08:42

pick him up because I have a five

1:08:44

see car. Or even if I have a

1:08:46

seven see car, I don't have car seats.

1:08:48

So car seat for an enormous contraceptive on.

1:08:50

I read a paper on at one time

1:08:52

the guy was saying he drew stuff is

1:08:54

gone. Else I can remember though that eaters

1:08:56

be do this to school now says basically

1:08:59

could eliminating car seats dramatically increase fertility and

1:09:01

his or his mathematical argument was yes, I

1:09:03

don't have to run on. I know is

1:09:05

that my least favorite thing about being a

1:09:07

father? His car seat. I despise them. And

1:09:10

I will be thrilled with when the day comes. Why

1:09:12

don't have to do for now? It's a necessary costs

1:09:14

but that is my but. To. Of

1:09:17

I'm not being hyperbolic. That is My least favorite thing

1:09:19

about being a father is having to deal with car

1:09:21

seat. Back. To

1:09:23

the point infrastructure things that you can do

1:09:25

with your life. May. Help you

1:09:27

to surround your stewart children with others and

1:09:30

may help you to. To do

1:09:32

to to. Have

1:09:34

people around and have childhood be.

1:09:37

More. Of a joyous occasion. if you have

1:09:40

two children don't just automatically by a

1:09:42

four or five see car, consider getting

1:09:44

the seven seat S U V. So

1:09:46

at least on occasion authors for in

1:09:48

your family least on occasion you can

1:09:50

get three extra people are and bring

1:09:52

someone elses children. All these little things

1:09:54

matter but you need to build an

1:09:56

environment of pleasure around your children. not

1:09:58

nonstop for the what. I'm not opposed

1:10:00

to working but I'm saying is it

1:10:02

childhood should be It's a joy. Don't.

1:10:05

Overburden your children with just nonstop work.

1:10:08

Don't make your children heat. School.

1:10:11

Because they just do it all day. every

1:10:13

day. It's not necessary. School

1:10:16

And Education. Seems. To

1:10:19

be a very, very

1:10:21

effective contraceptive. A

1:10:23

very very effective way to to

1:10:25

destroy fertility rates the more school.

1:10:28

That. Someone goes through, especially

1:10:30

women. The more school that a

1:10:33

woman goes through, the less likely

1:10:35

it is that she has children

1:10:37

or has many children. I'm

1:10:40

not opposed to highly educated women

1:10:43

talk about education in a minute,

1:10:45

but we need to recognize the

1:10:47

fact that if something is destroying

1:10:49

your species survival, That

1:10:52

you shouldn't just automatically accept it

1:10:54

as an unqualified good. Your

1:10:57

ideology needs to include expansion of

1:10:59

the group, an expansion of the

1:11:01

tribe in order for it to

1:11:03

be effective. And so

1:11:05

we have to look and try to understand how

1:11:08

do these things work and intense schooling? Cause.

1:11:10

And too intense schooling for too

1:11:12

long is not something that is

1:11:14

increasing birthrates. I

1:11:19

think in addition to providing a

1:11:21

joyful experience for your children, You

1:11:25

should consider indoctrinating your

1:11:27

children into experiencing the

1:11:29

joy of family life.

1:11:32

Children in general are going to rise

1:11:34

to the ambition that you as a

1:11:36

parent give to your children. You

1:11:39

say to your child. You're. Going to go

1:11:41

to college? Guess what? There's a very high chance

1:11:43

that your child will go to college. I went

1:11:45

to college because were the kind of people who

1:11:47

go to college. My wife went to college because

1:11:49

her dad said you go to college so she

1:11:51

went to college. That. With it,

1:11:54

I'm. In. General pretty much same

1:11:56

thing. Families. Who are

1:11:58

college educated. Their children got a call because

1:12:00

it is expected that the children will go

1:12:02

to college. In many cases children work a

1:12:04

job because it's expected that you work a

1:12:07

job and this creates all kinds of issues

1:12:09

and people have to be by topical Be

1:12:11

an entrepreneur and requires and threatened and credible

1:12:13

and of self determination for them to go

1:12:15

be an entrepreneur because their family was do

1:12:17

it was their family was job Having people

1:12:19

on the other hand is entrepreneurial people An

1:12:21

entrepreneurial people. They they tend to. Consider.

1:12:25

It normal to have businesses years ago

1:12:27

as with Dan Miller others on the

1:12:30

podcast and archives. but as a Dan

1:12:32

Miller in Tennessee interviewing him and you're

1:12:34

talking about a daughter, you're talking about

1:12:36

fact that with his children he basically

1:12:39

ruined his children to any kind of

1:12:41

job because their entire lifetime their father

1:12:43

was always an entrepreneur. And

1:12:45

they always knew what it was like to be. They

1:12:47

never do it. It was like to have a two

1:12:50

week vacation. They just did what they wanted. A Duke.

1:12:52

That's what you do is an entrepreneur. You do what

1:12:54

you want to do. Know a lot of times you

1:12:56

do a whole lot of work that you don't want

1:12:58

to do, but you pretty much live your life how

1:13:01

you want to live when you have a business that

1:13:03

you can control. And his point was that it has

1:13:05

children were. Either on some of the

1:13:07

bet they were entrepreneurs and very likely to be

1:13:09

entrepreneurs. could. It's hard to trade that enforce the

1:13:11

benefits of a job Feel like I've pretty much

1:13:14

destroyed my children's possibility of a job? Hope not,

1:13:16

I hope they. I still want them to have

1:13:18

jobs, but in terms of a lifestyle that we

1:13:20

live as a family. I.

1:13:23

Think my children would find it hard

1:13:25

to imagine if. What? It

1:13:27

would be like for and I'm mother and father

1:13:29

to go away to a job every day And

1:13:32

they've never had a mother who gone to a

1:13:34

job every day and so. That's.

1:13:36

Just kind of the expectation that I would

1:13:38

that they have about motherhood. And

1:13:41

they've never had a father who had a

1:13:43

job. I don't remember when I had a

1:13:45

job and while I work in an office

1:13:47

and pretty much always there. And so that's

1:13:49

their entire frame of reality though. We

1:13:51

can do this accidentally or we

1:13:53

can do this intentionally And what

1:13:56

is happening is. Our current

1:13:58

generation of young people. His

1:14:00

indoctrinated to not have children. We.

1:14:03

Need to indoctrinate our children to have

1:14:05

children. That

1:14:09

word indoctrinated something that causes

1:14:11

a significant level of discomfort

1:14:13

in people we don't like

1:14:15

the idea of indoctrination or

1:14:18

propaganda. But in reality

1:14:20

it's I don't think. We.

1:14:22

Should be as uncomfortable with the word

1:14:24

as possible. As far as

1:14:26

we are, I think that the

1:14:28

concept that there would be some

1:14:30

kind of neutrality in ideas. Is

1:14:33

amiss. There is no

1:14:36

neutrality. And so either

1:14:38

you're going to indoctrinate your children

1:14:40

with your beliefs and your vision

1:14:42

and your philosophy, or someone else

1:14:44

is going to indoctrinate your children

1:14:46

with his beliefs and his vision

1:14:48

and his philosophy. There is no

1:14:50

neutrality. There is no neutral position

1:14:52

really on anything. Now

1:14:56

you can choose the level of

1:14:58

pro natal indoctrination that you give

1:15:00

to your children. Right now, what

1:15:02

we're seeing is there is an

1:15:05

intense antenatal indoctrination. Imagine you grew

1:15:07

up in China and imagine that.

1:15:09

Ah, there was a one child

1:15:11

policy in place for. Decades

1:15:14

and decades and decades. And that

1:15:16

if you had more than one

1:15:18

child, there would be a forcible

1:15:21

abortion. That. Indoctrination,

1:15:23

create society. the can't

1:15:26

reproduce itself. Know. You

1:15:28

could go to another extreme. Ideologically,

1:15:30

you could indoctrinate your child that

1:15:32

your ambition in life should be

1:15:34

to have as many children as

1:15:36

you possibly can. And

1:15:39

you would have a woman who's pregnant for thirty

1:15:41

five years of her life. And as. Thirty.

1:15:43

Two children or man who has

1:15:45

seven wives and the have seven

1:15:47

children with he twice. That could

1:15:49

be the kind of indoctrination that

1:15:51

you could give, but that's not.

1:15:54

Those. Aren't the only options? You.

1:15:57

Could indoctrinate your children with.

1:16:00

A hick. We are friendly pro natal Islam

1:16:02

which is basically. Kind. Of how I

1:16:04

would describe my position on not of I don't

1:16:06

think that people should have as many children as

1:16:08

are capable of having. I don't think that. In.

1:16:11

In that they don't think to the goals

1:16:13

of having me so responsible. But I think

1:16:15

that we should be welcoming and appreciative of

1:16:17

children because they're an enormous good in life

1:16:20

and and society, and that it should be

1:16:22

between a husband and wife in the intimacy

1:16:24

of their own communications and the intimacy of

1:16:26

their own bedroom. The decisions they make and

1:16:28

know outside interference that's kind of like a

1:16:30

friendly pro nadler them as I would describe

1:16:32

it. Maybe I'll be more have some extremist

1:16:34

in the future. I don't know, I don't

1:16:36

think I will, but. But. I

1:16:39

can adoption my children with a

1:16:41

friendly pro natal Islam and that's

1:16:43

my ambition is to appreciate children.

1:16:45

custodian are the most valuable resource

1:16:48

that we haven't. Society. They.

1:16:50

Are children. They are people. They are

1:16:52

the ones who are going to solve

1:16:54

all the problems that we face right

1:16:56

now and six Everything that's wrong with

1:16:58

the world systematically. day by day, generation

1:17:01

by generations. They are an unalloyed good.

1:17:03

Children are an unalloyed good. There is

1:17:05

no. There was

1:17:07

nothing bad about children. So children

1:17:09

challenges that I bad about challenges

1:17:11

talent as a good for us.

1:17:13

And so the point is that

1:17:15

you need to indoctrinate your children

1:17:17

intentionally. or someone else is going

1:17:19

to indoctrinate your children intentionally. And

1:17:21

he children are going be sixteen years old thinking

1:17:23

that they should. Delete themselves from

1:17:25

the earth to save the planet and

1:17:28

some other. Dumb. Philosophy.

1:17:33

So. Why not just indoctrinate our

1:17:35

children into. Believing that

1:17:37

getting married and having children is

1:17:39

a great thing to do. Every

1:17:41

bit of sociological data. Is

1:17:44

on. The side of that being

1:17:46

the right choice. And as long as

1:17:48

we reserve appropriate levels of of reserved

1:17:50

to say that hey, you may be

1:17:52

different, right? You might be someone who

1:17:54

doesn't want this. That's fine, but every

1:17:56

bit of data indicates that this time

1:17:58

hundred tradition of how to live your

1:18:01

life and how to grow your family

1:18:03

is a really powerful one. Every bit

1:18:05

of data indicates that the right move.

1:18:07

So let me indoctrinate you into what

1:18:09

the data says: And then

1:18:11

allow for different decisions. If your child wants

1:18:13

to go and spend ten years living in

1:18:15

Tibet, Great, But that's fine. I'm not going

1:18:17

to foresee. to. I'm not gonna drag you

1:18:19

kicking and screaming into an arranged marriage and

1:18:21

that you have to marry this girl right

1:18:23

now. That would be absurd. but. We.

1:18:25

Shouldn't shy away from recognizing

1:18:27

that we need to indoctrinate

1:18:30

our children into the right

1:18:32

beliefs that are most likely

1:18:34

to leave them living happy,

1:18:36

successful, fulfilled lives. And getting

1:18:38

married and having children is

1:18:40

an important component of that.

1:18:43

We. Know that other day that is

1:18:46

on our side. We also know by the way

1:18:48

that for all the data that is not on

1:18:50

our side meaning statistical outliers many people say worst

1:18:52

thing I ever did was get married were thing

1:18:54

I do have children. We know that a lot

1:18:56

of that was entirely avoidable. And

1:18:58

so poor mate selection. Is

1:19:00

the fundamental flaw. In

1:19:03

marriage. Not. The institution

1:19:05

of marriage, but poor mate selection. And

1:19:08

we can control for that we can adjust for

1:19:10

that. We can teach our children that and we

1:19:12

to indoctrinate our children. And the

1:19:14

importance of choosing a high quality spouse I

1:19:16

talk about as my children. I don't want

1:19:19

them to be in i'm eighteen years old,

1:19:21

say I want to get married and me

1:19:23

saying don't marry that guy, he's a loser.

1:19:25

I want my children at eighteen or twenty

1:19:28

or twenty five to be very discerning to

1:19:30

be thinking about what are the qualities that

1:19:32

would make someone a good perspective husband? A

1:19:34

good perspective wife. I need to be thinking

1:19:37

about that. and I need to control my

1:19:39

impulses and not be drawn to somebody who's

1:19:41

bad for me to feel so good. The

1:19:43

this. Can he's He's toxic. You know

1:19:46

she's She's toxic. The somehow I should

1:19:48

pursue her. Know that stupid thinking that

1:19:50

leads to. Tremendous chaos. And

1:19:52

don't let your children. Absorbed

1:19:55

that it's stupid and you don't go

1:19:57

after people who are bad for you

1:19:59

and somehow. I think that if you to

1:20:01

spend more time with this girl whose bad for

1:20:03

me but it feels so good no it doesn't

1:20:05

work out. The movie ends right before the divorce.

1:20:08

So. Don't go down that road. Stupid. You.

1:20:12

Need to doctrine eight your children to experience in the

1:20:14

joy of family life. We. Need

1:20:16

our daughters to have ambitions to

1:20:19

motherhood instead of only having ambitions

1:20:21

to be a boss babe? Stem

1:20:23

check. It's.

1:20:26

Important. That

1:20:29

motherhood. Be. Something that

1:20:31

is appreciated in society.

1:20:35

You. And I can be the ones to

1:20:37

change the culture around this, not the entire

1:20:39

culture. There's gonna be a whole lot of

1:20:41

boss beeps them checks created by our culture

1:20:44

right now. But you and

1:20:46

I can start at I was

1:20:48

find it interesting that ah, I

1:20:50

go on Netflix. And Netflix has

1:20:52

an entire category of girl power

1:20:54

movies. There's no category for boy

1:20:57

power movies. There's no category for

1:20:59

motherhood movies. There's just a category

1:21:01

for girl power movies and so

1:21:03

will change that. We.

1:21:06

Need a lionize mothers And we

1:21:09

need to cause. Our

1:21:11

appreciation of motherhood and mother's

1:21:13

to be transformed to that

1:21:15

motherhood is transformed into a

1:21:17

high status occupation. I

1:21:21

want my daughter. To be

1:21:23

married. To a man like me. That's.

1:21:26

My first response: good. As a father, I need

1:21:28

to be the kind of man the set the

1:21:30

example for her. That's my responsibility, but I want

1:21:32

her to marry a guy like me. I

1:21:36

think object to be speaking that my wife has

1:21:38

a pretty great life. It's. Not perfect.

1:21:41

It's not easy, but I would say that.

1:21:43

On a scale of. Zero.

1:21:45

To one hundred it's pretty stink and good

1:21:48

I'm I'm probably not a ten as a

1:21:50

husband and not a ten of attend. Those

1:21:52

guys out there that are richer than me,

1:21:54

better looking the me have better odds than

1:21:56

I do smarter than me but it terms

1:21:59

of the over. Package. My ambition and

1:22:01

life is to be a dream husband

1:22:03

for her and I want to model

1:22:05

what that looks like. I'm not only

1:22:07

for my good, for the for the

1:22:09

health of my relationship, but for my

1:22:11

daughter to aspire to. And I think

1:22:13

that. Being a mother

1:22:15

is a pretty great. Pretty

1:22:18

great lifestyle choice for my

1:22:20

wife. What? Does it

1:22:22

mean for me to be a great

1:22:24

husband? Well, it means adequately providing for

1:22:27

my wife, providing the luxuries that I'm

1:22:29

able to provide. I'm retiring

1:22:31

her from the job market so she

1:22:33

can sleep in everyday. Sexually satisfying her,

1:22:35

providing a strong social group for her,

1:22:38

providing her with children, supporting her in

1:22:40

her goals and ambitions and the things

1:22:42

that are fulfilling to her. and as

1:22:44

the father of my family, that's my

1:22:46

responsibility. My wife's goals and ambitions are

1:22:49

mine. I take them on as that

1:22:51

as the father as that is the

1:22:53

leader of my family and are all

1:22:55

of our. family. planning gives priority to

1:22:58

those things. A She's got her own

1:23:00

set of duties, She's got her duties

1:23:02

to be an excellent way to me. She

1:23:04

owes me loyalty and support and my colleagues

1:23:06

and ambitions. She needs to create a home

1:23:09

environment that provides me with peace and comfort

1:23:11

and joy. She should seek to sexually

1:23:13

satisfied me, to take good care of our

1:23:15

children to be on will partner in life.

1:23:18

So there's a beautiful ceremony between these things.

1:23:20

But the point is that being a mother.

1:23:23

Should. Be. In.

1:23:25

A good. Up. An attractive

1:23:27

thing and we can model

1:23:30

that for our daughters now.

1:23:33

I don't myself like making abrasive remarks, are

1:23:35

being abrasive perhaps or taunting people. but what

1:23:38

we need to do is we need to

1:23:40

show this to the world. We need to

1:23:42

raise it up because what happens is we

1:23:44

spend so much time apologizing for the drunk

1:23:47

husband is a woman, get me a beer

1:23:49

and is abusive and whatnot at that sets

1:23:51

us up a meme that a lot of

1:23:54

times our daughters and young women are just

1:23:56

living their lives scared. They're. Scared

1:23:58

that every man drunken abusive. Every man you

1:24:00

know doesn't care about them. Every man is

1:24:03

going to use them and grind the months

1:24:05

and that is just not true. It

1:24:07

may be that the most visible men,

1:24:10

the people who who are most obvious

1:24:12

and society the guys get the most

1:24:14

views on their toxic. Tic. Toc.

1:24:16

Maybe maybe they're really toxic,

1:24:19

but those of us who

1:24:21

are not. Need.

1:24:23

To be equally strong in

1:24:25

marketing what is good and

1:24:28

what a satisfying what is

1:24:30

beautiful about our lifestyle. My.

1:24:32

Favorite brand of content in the world.

1:24:34

His mother Content. I want to see

1:24:37

it. A hundred x I want

1:24:39

to see this is theirs is laid out on

1:24:41

or name but I don't. Have

1:24:43

aware of her. There's this lady. I

1:24:45

think she was out in Wyoming. Something like

1:24:48

that. She makes these. Instagram things

1:24:50

have heard cooking this just insane food

1:24:52

and she's attic this old this wood

1:24:54

stove am dumb to sit Zetas would

1:24:56

so surrounded by little children and an

1:24:58

apron looking like an eight team in

1:25:00

of thirty five. How five housewife barefoot

1:25:02

and pregnant in the kitchen and making

1:25:04

this just like elaborately home made food

1:25:07

from all of the stuff that that

1:25:09

was grown on her property and and

1:25:11

and whatnot and accommodate. The commenters love

1:25:13

to point out that she's cutting our

1:25:15

thirty thousand dollar wood stove because I

1:25:17

don't know either. See, her husband is.

1:25:19

The air air to this vast fortune.

1:25:22

I love it, I love it. I've

1:25:24

I am so grateful that woman exists.

1:25:26

I hope that she gets millions and

1:25:28

millions of followers because her lifestyle is

1:25:31

attractive to surrounded by always children sees

1:25:33

cooking on of wood stove and it's

1:25:35

just pure luxury. But as different them

1:25:38

you know. Toxic Luxury.

1:25:40

We need more of that because and

1:25:42

we more of it in public in

1:25:44

view of young men and women. Although.

1:25:49

It's. Hard for me to talk about my

1:25:51

private life and times because. I

1:25:53

don't enjoy the backlash of the internet. I don't

1:25:55

enjoy fighting with people who just want a common

1:25:58

make fun of me of things that I hold

1:26:00

dear. I also don't really want to put my

1:26:02

children on the internet a thought many times I

1:26:04

should. I should show of in I show my

1:26:06

sweet. We do sideshows and family movies of other

1:26:08

places that we go. We visited sixteen countries last

1:26:11

year and so I have little movies I made

1:26:13

of each country and we go through with our.

1:26:16

With my children and I him and we

1:26:18

can relive the memories and we talk about

1:26:20

these I love my life. My life is

1:26:22

awesome saw perfect but it's awesome. It's really

1:26:24

good and I thought I sometimes think like

1:26:27

I should share more of that and I'm

1:26:29

doing that here in this context and I

1:26:31

want you to do that. I want you

1:26:33

to share your life. I want A when

1:26:35

she. I want people to see and understand

1:26:37

that. You. Know. Your.

1:26:40

Life doesn't end because you have children.

1:26:42

Salt like you just have the world

1:26:44

because you have children. And maybe someday

1:26:46

I'll. Decide. That is right

1:26:48

for me and my family to puts movies

1:26:50

out online, but for now I just try

1:26:52

to support people that do it. and and

1:26:54

just say that you create your reality and

1:26:57

it's not as though you have either a

1:26:59

bad life. Is. You.

1:27:03

Created and I want to share the

1:27:05

message that I'm sharing with you Now

1:27:07

that's children are really great are my

1:27:09

favorite meme that I saw recently size

1:27:11

of about motherhood was this is that

1:27:13

if I forget the image was but

1:27:15

is like. Girls like,

1:27:17

get this. It's like only

1:27:19

fans. But. You got

1:27:22

only one sam. And. He's a

1:27:24

subscriber for life and you bear his children and

1:27:26

he pays all the bills for the rest of

1:27:28

your life. That. It's great. Like only

1:27:30

fans this one. Sam. And. It

1:27:32

works out for life and the sounds

1:27:34

ridiculous but winning more of that because

1:27:37

he got a whole generation of Only

1:27:39

Sands girls going around and doing everything

1:27:41

they can to get naked for Ran

1:27:43

the men on the internet, pay their

1:27:45

bills and if they were just willing

1:27:48

to be a great wife and mother

1:27:50

they would find a great guy who

1:27:52

won sit Them were who will appreciate

1:27:54

her getting naked for him and he'll

1:27:56

pay our bills. It's. Pretty simple.

1:27:59

Contract in a still works, so

1:28:01

let's be those who. Encourage.

1:28:04

Our daughters to have ambitions

1:28:07

to motherhood instead of only

1:28:09

having ambitions. To. Be Boss

1:28:11

babe. Stem checks. We

1:28:14

also need to build stronger men users.

1:28:16

The have the responsibility and not wanted to

1:28:18

take lightly Taking things like really isn't everything

1:28:20

that has the is about. That's why we

1:28:22

see it as a happy when. Your program.

1:28:24

It was hard to recycle prophecies

1:28:27

of valuable resource center building materials

1:28:29

to protect. Recently so often orange after

1:28:31

a new that. It

1:28:34

is with your regular realize. That this

1:28:37

isn't that. Interesting

1:28:39

recycling. This really particularly valuable as Disney

1:28:41

to leave as as he can learn.

1:28:43

From. Animals. Men

1:28:46

who have ambitions for family and

1:28:48

who are willing to do the

1:28:50

hard work necessary to attract and

1:28:52

deserve a high quality woman. As

1:28:55

a man and as a father,

1:28:57

you are going to bear enormous

1:29:00

burden and responsibility and you'd better

1:29:02

be ready to handle it. Or

1:29:04

the good news is that burdens and

1:29:06

responsibilities in the natural course of family

1:29:09

life and a business life in a

1:29:11

most lights they grow progressively. They

1:29:13

grow little by little and as you bear one

1:29:16

little bit of responsibility, become stronger and you bear

1:29:18

the next one. Until you turn around and you're

1:29:20

thirty years old. Are your forty years old, Are

1:29:22

your fifty years old, And you are a giant

1:29:24

of a man. That's. The way

1:29:26

that life is supposed to work. But you

1:29:29

do need to be ready to handle the

1:29:31

ones that you encounter. So you need to

1:29:33

be a man who is in control of

1:29:35

her emotions. He's a man who was filled

1:29:37

with kindness and consideration for other people. In

1:29:40

a man who has a strong earning ability

1:29:42

in a strong work ethic, women are not

1:29:44

wrong. For. Wanting a man who makes

1:29:46

a lot of money, women are absolutely right

1:29:48

to desire a man who makes a lot

1:29:50

of money. So. You

1:29:53

have to develop. Your. Work ethic and

1:29:55

you're earning ability. You have to do

1:29:57

it intentionally. You develop a strong moral.

1:30:00

Character with a minimum of vice.

1:30:03

One of the great. Complaints I

1:30:05

have about are popular culture

1:30:08

is. We celebrate

1:30:10

vice. We. Celebrate things

1:30:12

that are destructive. What?

1:30:16

Is destroyed over the years.

1:30:18

More marriages them something like

1:30:20

alcoholism. Having a

1:30:22

drunk dad is a pretty good guarantee

1:30:24

that you don't want to have children.

1:30:26

You wanna be a dad And yet.

1:30:29

Alcohol is just in. Alcohol is

1:30:31

destroyed. Enormous numbers of families, and

1:30:33

yet in our popular culture, what

1:30:35

Do we? celebrate? Clinton.

1:30:37

This. End. I

1:30:41

complained about this number of years ago and I've

1:30:43

had a professional conference and I have been to

1:30:46

have any kind of industry can is for few

1:30:48

years now. Maybe it's chains the hope it has

1:30:50

but it used to drive me crazy. You got

1:30:52

an industry conference how good a podcasting conference or

1:30:55

of Sin Connors and like that and you get

1:30:57

up on the second day in the first speaker

1:30:59

on the second day, heck out. What a great

1:31:01

party that was last night and amazed that you're

1:31:03

here and get anybody remember it's and just this

1:31:06

constant cultural celebration of drunkenness which destroys families. Don't.

1:31:09

Do that. Gambling. It

1:31:12

degeneracy and all of it's forms has

1:31:14

to be gotten rid of and so

1:31:16

you need to develop. As a man.

1:31:18

You need to develop strong moral character,

1:31:20

get rid of vices, and me to

1:31:22

develop the ability to inspire confidence and

1:31:24

trust. The decision that a

1:31:27

woman would make. To. Bear your

1:31:29

children As a man. Or

1:31:31

to be willing to be your

1:31:34

wife and even consider being a

1:31:36

full time mother. In order for

1:31:38

that to happen. You have to

1:31:40

inspire. Confidence.

1:31:44

And trust. Us to

1:31:46

be the kind of man who can inspire

1:31:48

her. In. That's because

1:31:51

she is consciously choosing

1:31:53

to make herself vulnerable.

1:31:56

If. He makes that decision. The.

1:32:00

Vulnerability that a woman and doers with

1:32:03

that is enormous. It

1:32:05

is properly fear inducing. And

1:32:08

so she has to make a good

1:32:10

decision about you. And be

1:32:12

confident in that decision. I

1:32:14

think that one of the biggest

1:32:16

impact here is that men themselves

1:32:18

have become very ante natal. instead

1:32:20

of having a vision of. Hundred

1:32:23

great grandchildren and your descendants being as many

1:32:25

as the the Sands of the seashore. A

1:32:31

lot of men rejoice and in. The

1:32:35

extra money that they're wife can bring him for them. A

1:32:40

pusher to bring in more money so

1:32:42

they can buy a nice a set of

1:32:44

golf clubs. Just toxic guys that that.

1:32:47

Create. The environment around themselves. Here's a

1:32:49

Elena read you verbatim just as beautiful message

1:32:51

that I received from a listener. Mine. And

1:32:54

we're talking about this in a different form

1:32:56

and this listener wrote to me to set

1:32:58

an overall the greatest impact. Support these women

1:33:00

has been a shift in priority. It's not

1:33:03

just women, it's their husbands to. So many

1:33:05

women need the push to give up their

1:33:07

career In the biggest catalyst as their husband.

1:33:09

So many men are fearful of losing the

1:33:11

second income that they put pressure on their

1:33:13

wives to work full time out of the

1:33:16

home. Then the wives put pressure on themselves

1:33:18

to come home and do the second full

1:33:20

time job of motherhood and homemaker. Hence, one

1:33:22

or two kids or zero. In

1:33:24

addition, when a husband supports his wife to

1:33:26

shift her priority to being a homemaker, she

1:33:29

has time to meet other moms who participate

1:33:31

in programs like M O P S and

1:33:33

Us be more encourage supported and as a

1:33:35

result feel free to have more children. It's

1:33:37

also difficult for these women when they

1:33:39

get married later because they've been supporting

1:33:42

themselves for so long it can be

1:33:44

scary to be unemployed. I speak from

1:33:46

experience. When my husband asked me to

1:33:48

stay home, I was terrified. I have

1:33:50

been supporting myself for ten years up

1:33:52

to that point and now I was

1:33:54

being asked to not do what I

1:33:56

had known and to be fully reliance

1:33:58

on his income. So

1:34:00

this is an important thing you need

1:34:02

to understand that for a woman to

1:34:04

believe in you, you need to be

1:34:06

worthy of being believed. There

1:34:09

is this. If we look at the. Current.

1:34:14

Mismatch in the dating environment. There's

1:34:17

a there's a there's an element of

1:34:19

truth in a lot of the things

1:34:21

that are really frustrating and really angering

1:34:23

to a lot of people and so

1:34:26

filtered the current content you hear of.

1:34:28

The complaints in the frustrations sell to

1:34:30

the current content that you here and

1:34:32

recognize that it has an application or

1:34:34

does give two examples one for women,

1:34:37

one for men. There's this

1:34:39

meme online in popular culture about what are

1:34:41

you bring to the table that men are

1:34:43

now asking women what do you bring to

1:34:45

the table and course the woman always response

1:34:48

i am the table know if they don't

1:34:50

like that if I'm not good enough for

1:34:52

you the just move on buddy and what

1:34:54

you should hear. If you are a woman

1:34:56

you should hear men saying like wait a

1:34:59

second why do I need you. What?

1:35:01

Benefit you bring to my life. That's

1:35:04

a fair question to ask. And what

1:35:06

has happened is that many women have

1:35:08

been trained by our society to bring

1:35:11

everything to the table for the man

1:35:13

who signed their paycheck. And.

1:35:16

Nothing to the table for the man who

1:35:18

gives him their life. That's.

1:35:21

The distinction. And so you

1:35:23

need to ask yourself what you bring to the

1:35:25

table If you are a woman. What?

1:35:28

Do you actually provide to a man that would

1:35:30

cause him to wish to marry you and have

1:35:32

children with you. He. Is that something that

1:35:34

you desire? Similarly,

1:35:37

On the flipside, It. Goes

1:35:39

towards men. Women tend to one

1:35:41

a man who is strong, who

1:35:44

was tall, who was good looking

1:35:46

and who earns good money for

1:35:48

guess what? buddy. You.

1:35:50

Gotta be those things. You.

1:35:53

Gotta be the kind of man who can provide.

1:35:56

For. Your wife. You. Can't

1:35:58

be the guy who has no ambition. the

1:36:00

sitting around. Like used

1:36:02

the close shaves. True to sit around playing

1:36:04

video games, counseling not able to provide for

1:36:06

a woman? What do you have to offer?

1:36:09

Her. You don't deserve

1:36:11

her cause you can't offer her

1:36:13

anything. So. I'm not gonna

1:36:15

go further down that, but you need to

1:36:17

think about that. Recognize that in every cliche.

1:36:20

There's an element of truth, and if.

1:36:23

You listen through it carefully. You

1:36:25

can develop yourself to attract and

1:36:27

inspire the kind of relationship in

1:36:29

lifestyle that you desire to have.

1:36:32

We. Also need to increase respect

1:36:34

for men who are father's not

1:36:36

just men who are rich. So

1:36:39

for our. Sons.

1:36:42

Fatherhood should be something that has

1:36:45

social respect. In

1:36:47

are financially driven age, what to

1:36:49

day we tend to do is

1:36:52

we tend to raise man on

1:36:54

a pedestal based upon how much

1:36:56

money they earn, how many followers

1:36:58

they have are some other similar

1:37:00

metric and we don't differentiate men.

1:37:02

Who have those things from men

1:37:05

who are strong fathers and men

1:37:07

of character? And

1:37:09

I don't know how to do it, but

1:37:11

we need to do that I was blind

1:37:13

to this when I was younger, I was

1:37:15

a big Tim Ferris fan, I was a.

1:37:19

Now. I won't name all the names but I was

1:37:21

blind to it. I'm sorry for picking on can. I

1:37:23

usually get a long list but it's not necessary. I

1:37:25

was blind This I thought I want to be like

1:37:27

this guy. Want to be like this. Got want to

1:37:30

be like this guy Today I look at them out

1:37:32

or they want to be like any of them. I

1:37:34

appreciate them for the wisdom that they have. But I

1:37:36

want to be like that guy over there who has

1:37:38

five children. And. He's had a

1:37:41

pillar and as community he's a leader

1:37:43

in his in his local city, he's

1:37:45

an elder in his church. He is

1:37:47

a a businessman who runs an honest

1:37:50

business and he may not make as

1:37:52

much money as so and so over

1:37:54

there who's destroying society does, but I'm

1:37:56

not gonna raise up. So and so.

1:37:59

Because. It makes more money and his

1:38:02