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a podcast team coming at you. On

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a Friday, Friday show sent

1:00

out to all of the Kayahoga Oh,

1:03

Kayahoga Falls, Ohio fans

1:05

that were coming up this weekend watch me in Anne Berg.

1:08

Finish off our offend everyone tour.

1:10

I'm here as always with the International

1:12

Superstore Amico. How you doing, buddy?

1:14

Don't I'm dogging you? Feeling good, man. Feeling

1:17

good, but boy, too incredible guests

1:19

as always, not white men? Neither

1:21

one of them. Usually, we it's a theme on the show.

1:23

It's typically too white guys sitting in that chair

1:25

and

1:26

know what I gotta be honest with you guys, gets

1:29

pretty boring. It gets pretty boring in

1:30

here. Yeah.

1:31

Having some flavor, having a

1:34

a vagina, It does

1:36

help. Okay.

1:38

Many gentlemen, you not have you left them from no need for

1:40

apologies podcast right here on the gas digital

1:42

network. Derek Gaines back on the show. Fellows.

1:45

How are you? Dear. How are you? My

1:47

dear? Yeah. Yeah. You share it, bud. Also,

1:49

you know her from that time of the week podcast.

1:52

I mean, maybe one of the the most what's

1:58

that? Looking for me. Please. May you may.

2:00

Down ass bitches? That's not what I was gonna say.

2:02

But also, I'll say that. Well, I'll say -- Yeah. -- the last

2:04

sketch. I was gonna say one of the I

2:06

was gonna try and think of better word

2:08

for, like, a fan favorite. People love

2:10

you. People love

2:11

you on the show. Yeah. I'm a down as and I'm

2:13

a down as bitch. And I'm a you guys are right.

2:15

Yeah. Because I highly requested more than

2:17

that. Adored. Adored. Fucking

2:20

love of Cherished.

2:21

Cherished, ladies and gentlemen, the great Maddie

2:23

Smith. Hey.

2:25

What's up? Honored to be and

2:27

everyone's spank banks.

2:28

But They do

2:29

they do they, you know They

2:31

do be spanking. It's a big part of the fan

2:33

base is, you know, they like they

2:35

like funny bitches. That's the thing that's a misconception

2:38

about my audience is that they don't

2:40

like

2:40

women. They don't like unfunny

2:42

women. That's what it is. Because they don't like women

2:44

is that they like funny.

2:46

Yeah. They really like funny. And I the

2:48

chick is cute and funny that, like,

2:50

I think a big part of this audience

2:52

is, like, Oh my god. I'm

2:53

over. Yeah. Dude, they send for that shit, dude. That's

2:55

the first thing. Be my wife. Got

2:58

it, man. You got it. Yeah. Matty is why

3:00

fee material. We're gonna get into that on

3:02

today's show. We have a lot to talk

3:04

about on today's show, but let's do our plugs. Let's get

3:06

them out of the way, and let's get this thing fucking

3:08

rolling, Shannon. Maybe what's plugging

3:10

Let's plug the shoot out of

3:12

this shit. Guess what? I Naan, when

3:15

whenever this episode comes out, I'm doing a show

3:17

in Lund in England that

3:19

night. So come out. Pop me on Instagram.

3:22

See if you were there any skinkiest

3:25

people in London. Come on.

3:26

Out of them. Oh, yeah. They're in.

3:28

Well,

3:28

it tickets as a hundred seat theater,

3:30

so they're going fast. It's all Where

3:31

are you going? Which which place? Let me check really

3:34

quick. City comedy club. No. Not City CML

3:36

It's Oh, okay.

3:40

Waha, Comedy Club. Oh, I bought

3:42

a list of two. No. Or something like that.

3:44

It's a really small place, so get your tickets immediately.

3:46

And then next weekend, I'm in Austin, and then the

3:48

and the following weekend, I'm in Plano, Texas.

3:51

Mexico's comedy dot

3:52

com. So see Mavy on the road. Support

3:54

her. She's killing it. Derek. Alright.

3:57

We'll just come on again. Let's be a

3:59

Friday. Okay. Cool.

4:01

So EMEA's

4:04

Theater, Allentown, PA. We're doing

4:06

no need for apology stuff. Saturday night. That's

4:08

cool place. Hey, Dave. I think

4:10

a a soldier bills February eleventh in

4:13

Pottstown, I believe, PA,

4:16

and then we're gonna be in Austin, Texas,

4:18

February twenty third. And in Houston,

4:20

Texas, February twenty fifth at the Secret Group.

4:22

Yeah. And make sure I got a movie coming

4:24

out.

4:25

It's a horror movie. It's called Ratha Becky.

4:28

It makes its debut of March. So,

4:30

yeah, that should be

4:31

fun. It's a great meeting. Movie. It's called the

4:33

wrath of Becky. Yeah. But I'm gonna CML a

4:35

little fuck. Yeah. It's about a crazy work. That's what that's

4:37

my murders. Everybody. My relationship history.

4:39

But I don't know. But I

4:41

feel so cool that I'm just her

4:43

adopted black dad. Does it an order a

4:46

Puerto Rican guy cheated on her and sent her

4:48

into a violent No. The first

4:50

one was basically, like, Kevin James. Remember

4:52

that guy? You know, Kevin James. Right? Then he played

4:54

some ex con. And he murdered

4:56

her whole family in front of her face so

4:58

she got revenge on everybody. That's just all

5:00

wacky. So she this little white girl will be

5:02

killing, and I I love it. So

5:04

next one's coming out. It's called Ratin Becky. I

5:06

love it. It comes out March. And then look out for

5:08

the show called buckets. It comes out April

5:10

on

5:10

peacock. It's gonna be something consecutive.

5:13

These guys do real shit. We're like, like, oh,

5:15

I had to check out my my twitch

5:17

channel. Fuck it. I stick. Got it.

5:19

I got that That's on. There's like,

5:21

oh, yeah. And I'm in show with Joe Pesci. He came out

5:23

of time. That's cool,

5:25

I guess. Yeah. Here's my

5:27

podcast. Spit roads non gas digital.

5:29

Calliators. I love it. And that it was a really

5:31

great job. So Yes. SPITROW's debuted

5:33

last night of gas, and I was like, where you guys can watch

5:36

show the first episode. We're we're gonna be going

5:38

once a week. I believe, started to get March, but we had the

5:40

next one coming up in February. First, very excited

5:42

about that at the same time. That will grab

5:44

those tickets. I'm on the road as well. This weekend,

5:46

Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio with Arrenberg. Then

5:48

I'm taking a little bit of break for the

5:50

the month of February. But in

5:52

March, gonna be in Yonkers.

5:54

I'm gonna the American comedy company in

5:56

San Diego, Saint Louis. I'm

5:58

going to West Jordan Landing,

6:00

Utah. I think that's closest Salt Lake

6:02

City, I believe. Then I

6:04

got a secret group in Houston on the books,

6:06

Lafayette, Louisiana on the books, and a lot

6:08

of other stuff that we're

6:09

adding. So I know Detroit's on the books, I still have

6:11

the tickets up there yet.

6:14

Fuck in Grand Rapids as well. A

6:17

lot of stuff coming up, guys. So go to Louis of Skanks dot

6:19

com, grab those tickets for all the shows and more.

6:21

Subscribe my twitch channel to twitch dot tv slash p r rattlesnake

6:24

and subscribe the message. I will use the

6:26

promo code, RAP, get a seven day free

6:28

trial, get instant access to the Naan Demand Live

6:30

the shows here on the network. Is it birdshits on my own?

6:32

What is that? The fuck is on

6:34

my own. Looks like It

6:36

could be just jizz, like straight up calm.

6:38

Wow. And that's

6:40

that. That's all I gotta plug. Nothing

6:42

else.

6:43

Right? Right. Zachie. Zachie's

6:45

on most of these shows with me for this spring,

6:47

so

6:47

I got a lot of fun stuff coming up, guys. Let's

6:51

talk about some oh, this is a fucking

6:53

hilarious story. Let's start with some non binary

6:55

news with the great Natalie. Non

6:57

binary Natalie.

6:58

This is a great interesting story. And

7:03

Naan binary news. I

7:05

forgot we were doing this. I Hold on one second.

7:07

No. It's okay. We They're so slow.

7:09

The non binary? Yeah. They

7:12

they they

7:14

are. Not

7:18

buying memory news with

7:20

NetEli Naan and NetRe

7:22

News with net lead,

7:24

non binary is with

7:26

natural lead, non binary news

7:29

with net

7:30

lead. Not Naan Natalie.

7:32

Okay. Nuh-uh. Can we just call her nuh-uh-uh-uh-uh. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh-uh. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh-uh. Nuh-uh-uh-uh.

7:35

Nuh-uh-uh. Nuh-uh-uh-uh. Nuh-uh-uh-uh Naan

7:38

by Natalie. She's gonna open up Naan Indian bread

7:40

store. Uh-huh. Not by Natalie. I was

7:42

thinking like naughty by nature, but

7:44

No. By Natalie is good. It's a

7:46

great fucking story dude. That's

7:48

all it makes. You go there. It's like you see, you just do

7:51

none. Yeah.

7:51

None by Natalie is the alternate universe of

7:54

me where I'm not by.

7:56

Oh, God. By now. Oh, God. He

7:58

started this already. Also,

8:00

there are people that understand that the shows

8:02

of prepaid I made a joke about non Naan. Because

8:05

now, nonnon's and might have anything within a

8:07

twenty four hours. Yeah. So I will I will This

8:09

is That's all I can do. I can only reference 90s

8:11

or I can only reference the past twenty four hours. Oh,

8:13

okay. Wow. So It's like doing a podcast

8:15

with Dory from finding

8:16

nemo. Like, I need to it needs to be something

8:18

we mentioned in the last twenty minutes free

8:20

to beat all that. How funny is that?

8:28

We're going, baby. The engine started on

8:30

this show. On

8:31

Slaps, though.

8:31

On Slaps, I love None. Best

8:33

bread ever.

8:33

So don't make me get into a fucking what you're snacking

8:36

on Indian food edition. You

8:37

know what? How fucking hell? We're gonna in the middle of non

8:39

binary news with Natalie,

8:41

we're dropping a butcher snacking on

8:43

Indian food

8:44

edition. What's your snack

8:46

in Naan mini food edition? That

8:56

a natural plane of drums? It is.

9:00

I

9:01

personally drew this. With like

9:04

this. Yes, ma'am. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good.

9:06

So which snack man in

9:08

indium food

9:08

edition? Which

9:10

snack

9:10

man? Probably, like, curry puffs or

9:12

something like that. -- curry

9:13

puffs. Yeah. That might be more of a surprise. Indian

9:15

cereal. What is that? I've never heard of it. Oh

9:17

my god. No. I think

9:18

it's just, like, bunch of stuff in or

9:20

like a Samosa type of thing.

9:21

Samosa. Yeah. Is that a curry puff?

9:24

It's a weird thing to

9:24

call it. No.

9:25

They call it very positive. Yeah.

9:27

Yeah. Say the same thing. Right? Yeah. Simosa is a

9:29

little bit more of a Simosa.

9:31

Alright. First of all, Thailand is a different

9:33

fucking They can do empanada. They're all

9:35

right. Okay. Yeah. Literally.

9:37

Everyone's got their own version of that. Right? We

9:39

got a fucking egg roll. We got an empanada. We

9:41

have an

9:42

empanada. White

9:42

people have hot pockets. We do have a

9:44

hot pockets. I said, we the South White and I believe I have heard

9:46

that. Yeah. Wow. We

9:49

don't

9:49

accept him.

9:50

No. But I I will say

9:53

Yeah. It's samosa. I don't mind a samosa. It's

9:55

a little dry. Yeah. I

9:56

feel like

9:56

it's a little bit of waste of calories. If I'm

9:58

gonna fucking Okay. If I'm smashing down, so

10:00

I'd rather just have some extra garlic Naan and

10:03

probably

10:03

samosa. The

10:04

garlic naan is the way to go. Scoop

10:07

up your sauce at the

10:07

end garlic. The chicken corn game

10:10

fucking. Even like a fucking African child.

10:12

Mhmm. That's right. They eat

10:13

the bread. I use it as a scooper. That's how

10:15

you're supposed to eat in the instrument. Is it Yeah. You're

10:17

supposed to the Naan. The nine.

10:19

Yeah. And then pinch it over the you're not supposed to eat

10:21

it with a fork and knife you're supposed to And I

10:23

don't. Don't worry about I thought I was just being an

10:25

animal because I couldn't wait to eat. No. Naan all

10:27

turns out. When in

10:29

Rome? What's snacking on

10:31

any food edition, Derek? I believe any of food

10:33

edition. I believe I believe they're called Chocolate

10:36

glaze munchkins. No.

10:39

That's amazing. We call Chocolate

10:41

munchkins. And

10:43

I believe it's a coffee. Coffee,

10:48

you know, monthly and chocolate

10:50

and clare. And you go

10:52

again. You don't you don't eat

10:54

Indian food? I just there's

10:56

not a lot of Indians around around my areas,

10:58

a lot of Spanish people, so I eat more

11:00

appetizers and You can't like that. You can't just

11:02

you can only eat what's around your

11:03

area. That's Hey, man. I don't I don't seek

11:05

out Indian food, seek that's a fucking

11:07

shit. Yes, sir. He's

11:09

so funny. Yeah. But, no,

11:11

yeah. Most errands play in the

11:13

game. It's good. But I

11:15

don't know. Guys, I was looking on the

11:16

sun. Shout out to the new job. I love it.

11:19

The

11:20

show Quick today, day. It's a good show.

11:23

We're clever. Yeah. It's a clever. Same job

11:25

being queen. Put job being queen.

11:27

Donut. That's what it's going. Zach,

11:29

which snacking on Naan food edition?

11:32

Oh, go kerry. That's gonna go there's

11:34

always a

11:34

move. Goats.

11:35

Very I like lamb and Naan. I love

11:38

fish. I love fish. Lowe. For some reason, a

11:40

goat landed lowe. It's so fucking hot.

11:42

I know. Gonna be too

11:44

wiry. It's gonna be too wiry. What it is about a

11:46

goat. It just gets in my

11:46

head. I probably couldn't tell the difference between lamb

11:49

and goat. But I just never say Gamey here.

11:50

Gamey is. Yeah. Okay. I

11:53

don't even know

11:53

what that means when people say Gamey here. I don't actually know what

11:55

that means. Just know.

11:56

Like, if you ever had venison, I

11:58

I've had Venice and jerky.

11:59

Yeah. She's game y. Game

12:00

y means chewy. Does it mean

12:03

chewy? No. I thought it meant like

12:04

More like the Gamey means we've been running

12:06

around the more I think. Yeah. Give me

12:08

another gamey thing that I would have eaten. Come on.

12:10

Quails. Your girlfriend. But Quail

12:14

or your girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah.

12:17

Or quail and your girlfriend.

12:20

Give me a a an animal

12:22

that I wouldn't have a coronary cancer.

12:25

Corners gaming. Doggies. Stop

12:27

saying things that I don't know what they Naan. I

12:29

don't know what these things are. Am I a fucking

12:31

prince in England? No. You're a

12:33

recent prince. I've named basic

12:35

birds Naan know you're Yeah. Or the

12:37

chicken, Derek, doesn't know. Yeah. I

12:39

know all the chicken. Just the

12:42

street fried turkeys. There's George,

12:45

this corners game hen as he's

12:47

expensive man's diamond eggs and they sell it

12:49

out. What else is a

12:51

game y bird? You're

12:54

the you're the

12:54

bubble. Is a little gamey. You're the bubble

12:57

gum for chicken? Yeah.

12:58

The bubble gum chicken. No shrimp.

13:00

Yeah. Shark is kinda

13:02

gamey. Give

13:04

me an can you please give me give me give me

13:07

Shannon, look up Gamey Animals, please.

13:09

Gamey foul. Is

13:12

it Turkey gameier than a chicken? I I don't

13:14

really understand what game y

13:15

means. And people say it, and I

13:18

don't feel like anybody really knows what it

13:19

means. Because I've got more

13:22

earthy is not the right term. Gave

13:24

me me a sense of smell like a mixture. See.

13:26

That's why Hold

13:26

on. Go back

13:27

up. It

13:29

smells like a mixture of what? Wood

13:33

fire Case

13:34

like you're eating the woods. It smells like a

13:36

mixture of campfire accompanied by nuts

13:38

and earthy mushrooms. The smell can be a

13:40

little overwhelming for some people, common types of

13:42

gaming, include elves, mousse,

13:44

rabbit, pheasant, wild dot oh,

13:46

Duck. Do a

13:48

spice and more. I I love I

13:51

love. Duck

13:52

Duck's on a menu. Duck's on a menu. Duck's

13:54

on a menu? I'm

13:56

fucking getting duck almost every time.

13:58

Quite quick. Give me this fuck. What's the problem with duck

14:00

now? No. That's right. I like

14:02

that. There we go. I had duck. It was like, what's your

14:04

favorite type of duck. He's fucking our car. Our

14:06

call was never pulled. Corning's

14:08

dog. Corning dog pulled. It

14:10

was

14:10

pulled. They boil it down and pull it pulled

14:13

up.

14:13

Like in Chinatown when they have the ducks hanging in the window.

14:16

It

14:16

kinda fucked me up a little, but I do enjoy it though.

14:18

Yeah. I like it. Alright. Duck is good. Yeah.

14:20

Order. I ordered a duck almost Ever

14:22

Greasy. If you go to a nice restaurant -- Yeah. --

14:24

a little greasy, but, you know, duck. I

14:26

order some fucking pork belly. Anytime.

14:29

Anytime a pork belly is on a menu --

14:30

Okay. -- fucking. I don't even really know what it is. As

14:32

Chinese place pork belly and the buns with the

14:35

Delicious. Oh. But I I couldn't

14:37

actually tell you what pork belly was. I don't

14:39

wanna know. I think you just kinda said

14:41

it. So they have a port Here's what I'm

14:43

saying. Is it

14:43

the outside? Here's what I'm saying. Mhmm.

14:46

It's not good. It's not good. Oh, my

14:48

god. Oh, shit. That's that's Tripetin.

14:50

Tripetin and chitlin sets the other

14:52

part of it. But it's not it's not the

14:54

stomach lining. Right? It's -- No. No. -- I think it's a

14:56

fatty meat. It's a fatty

14:58

belly. Pork belly. I think it's a similar CML to

15:00

bacon. But why do they act like that's a

15:02

fucking delicacy? Why people are

15:03

like, oh pork belly is too much? A

15:06

good day. I we

15:06

don't know. I love pork belly. I like pork

15:08

belly. I like pork

15:09

belly. Mostly fat. Yeah. It's, like, cheater

15:11

it's, like, when you can cheat your roll.

15:14

She frac bones. Keep

15:16

that.

15:16

Yeah. That that that. I love some bone

15:19

marrow. Okay. Bone marrow.

15:21

Love some bone marrow. All day

15:23

every

15:23

day. Okay. All the live long day. That's

15:25

a that's a market price.

15:28

Boom now. It's good. It is good

15:30

pricing. But but that's like

15:32

I don't even know what you're paying for. It's like it's

15:34

just inside a bone, like, dunk.

15:36

But they season it though. They season it really nice.

15:38

They they they marinate it.

15:40

Yeah. So and then they put it on top of you. Stay a

15:42

little bit interesting. Yeah. Put on some Christina

15:44

just Oh, I'll game over. Yeah. What about

15:46

sea urchin? That's a very

15:48

strong one. Mhmm. Naan guys had

15:49

that? You had that

15:50

one. I'm a sea That's crazy. I I

15:52

have urchin. I just don't like, I couldn't identify what

15:54

the flavor is.

15:55

Yeah. I think I had bad curchin. It tastes

15:57

like manure. Oh.

15:58

Yeah.

15:59

You didn't see she Yeah. I might have anything to

16:01

it.

16:03

If I'm getting if I'm getting Indian

16:06

food, I have to get a variety of flavors. I

16:08

don't simply get just one thing. I'll never get

16:10

it alone because when you if I get it alone, I'm not

16:12

able to have a whole fuck. I want a

16:14

little bit of fucking

16:14

Yeah. So I

16:15

get some chicken

16:17

or some beef vendor little.

16:20

Mhmm. I love some hot fucking vendor

16:21

little. I like a

16:22

little the one with the big cheese paneer

16:25

with the with

16:26

the cheese and the green. Yeah.

16:32

That shit. People don't even know about that. You don't

16:35

even know about that. No. Nobody met. Did I

16:37

get the Puneer? I literally get that. I get

16:39

chicken corma, beef, vindaloo, couple

16:41

things arise. Some garlic Naan, and then I'm

16:43

gonna get some I'm gonna get wacky with some

16:45

fucking papa dum. Papa

16:47

dum. What's that? That's those fucking crackers

16:49

are kinda bitter. All those little

16:52

fucking sauces on them. Oh, I fucking got

16:54

one. You know exactly what I'm talking about.

16:56

Damn. I don't. Y'all good. Can we can

16:58

we order some Indian food for Derek? This is

17:00

crazy. Can we order some Indian food? I'm

17:02

serious. And I I don't need the heartburn. No. No. No.

17:04

You're fine. I'm gonna spit it

17:07

out hot. Because they Going to go into in the in the food,

17:09

run hot. If you run hot, a little

17:11

bit. If you eat them on your

17:13

vindaloo, your assholes going too

17:15

fast. Don't need to be

17:17

chatted. Like, it's gonna splatter and your cheeks are

17:19

gonna be burning. It's gonna fuck it's it's a nightmare. Do

17:21

they have a regular lobster rolls? Is there a

17:23

little Indian lobster roll? They got

17:25

about there.

17:26

Diamond kids menu. Yeah. Just give me

17:27

a nice Do you know how to go to nice because you

17:30

make some cash. You go to some nice restaurants for me

17:32

today? I'm I'm I'm

17:33

about, you know, Ocean Prime and and Del Frisco's. That's my

17:35

Oh, yeah. It's a

17:36

chains Finance guy. Naan mean,

17:38

I I like I like this. I like it too because you know

17:40

it's Wall Street meal. You know? Wall Street

17:42

meal. Yeah. Go to a fucking capital grill or

17:46

Come on, doggy. Come on, doggy. Jack

17:48

and Charlie's in the middle on

17:50

that little Yeah. All that. That's what I'm

17:52

into. Naan don't mind it. Prawns. I

17:54

like a good prawn. Right?

17:56

Big shrimps. Yes, Chris. You wanna get the

17:58

name food within your fucking eat an alien.

18:00

Just fucking shove it away. Alien which

18:03

is delicious. You want the fuck of it.

18:06

you. They got lost aliens. Craebailers.

18:08

Mhmm. I like all of them, Jones. I was just in

18:10

Baltimore. They got crab

18:11

dip, alien

18:12

crab dip. That's good. They have

18:13

crab covered everything in Baltimore. And it's very

18:16

good. Very delicious. Grab a cup of

18:18

burgers and macaroni and cheese. Mhmm. We're

18:20

we're listen to me. Take

18:22

a note right now, Dylan. Put this on

18:24

the gas digital credit card. We

18:26

want chicken vanilla?

18:27

No. No. I'm sorry. We want chicken corma.

18:30

Yeah.

18:30

Beef and vanilla. Beef and

18:31

vanilla? Beef and Beef and vanilla. Beef and vanilla. Beef and vanilla.

18:34

What's it? Some lamb

18:36

vimalu. My mouth is I'm

18:38

drooling. And my it's it's I

18:40

mean, daddy's so excited right now.

18:43

It's so early in the day for India.

18:46

I

18:46

know it's one:thirty. We're gonna have it motherfucking

18:48

afternoon. We're gonna have it, like, one.

18:50

India. It's Naan a turkey sandwich.

18:53

He said it's been night in

18:56

it. He's he's sweating right

18:57

now. Oh my god. He missed

18:58

the beginning part, because there was a Her nose

19:01

is so large. It's wild. He looked like the dude of

19:03

Wayne's world, the dude that was in the back seat. He

19:05

looks like somebody from

19:06

everything. You could you could pick out

19:08

there's so many different people that he looks like. And

19:10

they get that set in a rumor when they get the phone and got

19:12

them in the back, and you're gonna excuse me.

19:15

Yeah. We've got them in this. There's

19:19

a new movie on Netflix called

19:21

Pinocchio. Is it Spiel or Hurl?

19:23

Spiel. What is your mind telling you?

19:26

Spiel. Begun a hero. So,

19:31

chicken corma. Lam

19:34

vendula. You told him to stop motion

19:36

drawing. Pneur. Pneur. I

19:38

don't know how to spell it. You have to just

19:40

phonetically spell that or Google

19:42

it. Sog paneer.

19:43

Sog paneer.

19:43

Sog paneer. SAAG.

19:46

Sog. What was it? Sog.

19:48

It sounds

19:49

bad. When you say, I want some sog panier, you're like, alright, dog. You get

19:51

the fuck out of here. One of those words

19:52

means spinach and one of them means cheese, and I

19:54

couldn't tell you -- spinach is sog, I

19:57

think.

19:59

Get they're they're gonna all come with some rice.

20:02

Bread.

20:02

Get a couple

20:03

things of garlic Naan. Right?

20:06

Mhmm.

20:07

It's

20:07

a Naan

20:08

of them. Call it

20:09

a day. Get the best Indian food

20:12

of the

20:12

neighborhood. In the

20:13

city. Yeah. And

20:14

we're gonna eat it in here because fuck the next

20:16

show. Yeah. And don't do not tell

20:17

Ralph

20:18

that we charge this to the company credit card. He's

20:20

gonna get so mad at me. It's a research

20:22

project. He just said

20:24

that he was like, no, we needed to cut back spending on,

20:27

like, things around the office, like,

20:29

necessities. And now I here I am.

20:31

This is probably an eighty dollar

20:33

bill. Gals, do you need anything? Or

20:35

do we need some we need some

20:36

samosets? They have vegetable samosets.

20:39

I'm I'm

20:40

doing low carb now also, but thank you.

20:43

We appreciate

20:43

so you want some lentil stew. It

20:45

was more nice. There you go. Thank you. There

20:47

you go. Good with it. Alright. Hurry

20:49

up did because we're ending the show in, like, forty

20:51

five minutes. Don't

20:52

fuck this up. You have to

20:53

hurry, dude. We have to eat Indian food at the end of the

20:55

show, and we're gonna over In our hurry, in a hurry. And

20:57

then Derek is gonna fucking

21:00

Try Indian for the for the for the first time. He's

21:02

gonna be very excited. What are the odds

21:03

wrong? It's open this

21:06

early.

21:07

It's usually,

21:07

like, a dinner it's usually, like, a dinner time for us. You

21:09

can also have the lunch. Lunch.

21:13

Lunch. Naan?

21:14

They don't do long. Do you think Indian

21:15

people just wait around all day for nighttime to

21:17

eat? I assume they eat other shit. Oh shit,

21:19

Ralph's here. Damn

21:20

it.

21:21

Hey, Ralph. Hey, nothing going on. Naan. Oh,

21:24

alright. You are nice. You fucking

21:26

Naan me up. You fucking scumbag? Don't

21:30

you fucking dare wrap me out your piece of

21:31

shit? I think, well, I can still hear you.

21:34

Kenny, is the is the audio one out

21:36

there?

21:36

No. Thank

21:37

God. Ralph said idiot.

21:38

I don't have to worry about it. Okay. Well,

21:40

would you say it is on? Oh. Hey, Ralph.

21:43

Hey.

21:43

Hey. Good guy.

21:44

Bloth Naan. Ralph is

21:47

a

21:47

fool. He'll never get he'll never get

21:49

rid of this. So

21:52

if I can pull up the bathroom later. Oh, no.

21:54

Yeah. No. Then he'll get wind of And

21:56

I do. All of us. Alright.

21:59

Alright. Let's take a quick moment and thank you real creative dot

22:01

com for being a huge supporter of this show.

22:03

Your creative dot com makes everything possible here

22:05

at the assays. It'll network without them. We really

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sixty bucks. It really is an amazing deal.

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The best price on creative in the world. The best

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quality creative in the world. Yo create

22:28

them dot com. Alright. Where

22:30

were we? So, Natalie, non binary. As we were saying Where were we?

22:32

We got very distracted there, Natalie. Not binary

22:33

news. Right. Right. But

22:34

What does this story mean? First

22:36

off, did you know that

22:41

trans men who give birth are called

22:42

seahorses. I learned that

22:45

today. Trans men

22:45

to give birth first. I didn't know that trans men

22:48

give birth.

22:48

Some them

22:49

can if they still have a vagina. What do

22:51

they do? Like, 00I see. Yeah.

22:53

I see. Transmit.

22:53

Female female male.

22:54

Yeah. And is that because of

22:57

male seahorses are

22:58

the ones that give birth? I assume so.

22:59

Wow. Can I see

23:01

a a trans male with the baby inside? Well,

23:03

I will tell you all about this

23:06

guy who NOW

23:09

BREASPHEATS, HIS CHILD. IT'S

23:11

BASICALLY. Reporter: BUT

23:13

JERMINE FALLER,

23:14

didn't

23:15

know he was pregnant. Yeah.

23:18

We'll come up

23:18

there. He became

23:19

pregnant in twenty twenty one and

23:22

now is breastfeeding. Quote,

23:24

why shouldn't I utilize what I've got on

23:26

quote? I Naan,

23:29

I'm just saying, like,

23:34

So he's a man because he just looks like a

23:37

man because him having cities in a

23:39

vagina and a baby. That's three

23:41

to one. It just here's my

23:43

problem. I know that this dude I don't know the

23:45

rules. I know he could beat me in basketball, and it

23:47

bothers

23:47

me. Right. I would lose him. He's really a woman.

23:49

Beat me. Deep down inside as a woman. But

23:52

he's he was on testosterone for a

23:54

really long time and he stopped taking it

23:56

when he had to start breastfeeding

23:58

because it would affect the

24:00

baby. Look, not not when

24:01

I ask dumb question. Yes. Yes.

24:03

So the whole time, they've

24:07

than a man -- Uh-huh. -- they were getting fucked up their

24:09

pussy and calmed

24:10

him. Yes. That's basically what was happening.

24:12

He probably assumed

24:13

that he couldn't still get pregnant because he was on

24:15

hormones for so long. So

24:18

Which

24:18

yeah. Score. That's wow. So

24:21

look, I like, obviously, we all

24:23

feel like this is immensely

24:25

ill person. It's fine. You guys don't have to say it.

24:27

You guys have careers. It's fine. We're all gonna

24:30

fine with normal, whatever. Naan binary,

24:32

Natalie. You're a young person, and

24:34

you're non binary, and you're you

24:36

know, you fit all these molds. We

24:37

got to protest, you're

24:39

one of these things. Right? What what is the

24:41

do you do you are you like that's fucking amazing?

24:43

That's the way it should

24:44

be? It's like it's like

24:45

I feel like today. I was

24:48

saying this to Shannon before. It's like people

24:50

love to talk about trans

24:52

men giving

24:53

birth, and I'm like, what? All four of them?

24:55

Like, every time there are not many. It's kind

24:57

of a nonissued. This notice

24:58

For horsemen. That's actually a very it's a very

25:00

good point. It's not but

25:02

you do feel like that's

25:03

psychotic. Right? That's like a crazy

25:06

thing to see

25:06

you. He didn't want this either to be fair.

25:08

Well, the guy didn't want it. He

25:09

didn't wanna be pregnant. He didn't want it. Nobody

25:11

Naan it. So why are we doing

25:12

it? I haven't

25:13

wanted a lot of my kids, I guess.

25:15

You know, nigga gave birth to a

25:17

kid. He don't and ate me. He really is

25:19

a black guy.

25:20

You know what? Yeah.

25:24

It's hard to leave your kid when they're pregnant when it's in

25:27

you. Yeah. It was so naturally

25:29

umbilical cord to try to run. What's

25:31

crazy is that there are no pictures

25:33

of a partner? Like, he's just in

25:35

it alone,

25:36

apparently. Yeah. So

25:39

he's gonna

25:39

take himself to more I I would

25:40

maybe he's just I don't know.

25:43

Are

25:43

you all in love of us? A half of us.

25:46

That's you have a

25:48

half day. Four. Where

25:50

where is he gonna run? You

25:53

run the circle and sit back,

25:55

dad. Gotta

26:00

love this

26:01

stuff, man. Dog's love it. Yeah. III mean,

26:03

I it's fine. And you're right. It is sort

26:05

of a non issue. Right? It's it's like it's

26:07

not it's a big sensationalized

26:09

story and people feel very, like, passionate

26:11

about it. It's just there's

26:13

a weird thing, like, both sides of the

26:15

political spectrum. Like, they like, pretending to wanna protect

26:17

the kids. Now, it's an angle that everyone's

26:20

taken. It's like, we gotta protect the kids. And none of them

26:22

really care about the kids. It's just another issue that they can

26:24

sort of like latch onto and make their

26:26

side right. You hear about the

26:28

Transformers not liking the Rita Franklin

26:30

song now? No. What is it? Natural

26:32

woman. Oh, really? CML like,

26:34

is deemed defensive really transmitting and natural. What is the what's the

26:36

song that You make me feel like You

26:39

make me feel like

26:41

They don't like this.

26:43

Unnatural. They them.

26:46

They them. Right.

26:49

Actually, I read that article today and

26:51

that account that posted it is now claiming that

26:53

their a parody account. When before they said

26:54

specifically, they are not a parody account. Which

26:56

account? The account that

26:57

posted that, like, the trans Oh,

27:00

okay. So it's a dude.

27:03

It's just a dude with a baby second estate, which

27:05

is no. She's talking about the account that

27:07

posted the you make me feel like a natural

27:09

world. How it's offensive? Yeah. How

27:11

Oh, okay. Now they're saying that they're a parody

27:13

account. But before this whole controversy happened

27:15

about about them making that

27:16

comment, they said they are not a parody account.

27:20

Just joking. Certainly.

27:21

Just joking. Yeah. I'm wrong with a

27:24

surgeon, ain't it? I I

27:26

mean, it's you know, should should

27:28

transgender people be able to

27:30

have children? Absolutely.

27:32

Let them do whatever the

27:33

fuck, but what can't why can't I laugh at

27:35

it? The entire time. Do

27:37

what you want. Just let we need a

27:39

lot of it for

27:40

sure. I mean,

27:41

there's a good point though. I never think about

27:44

trans people. I'm voting against them.

27:46

Yeah. Yeah.

27:52

It's not something that, like, really comes up that often. I

27:54

I I'm just saying that I don't like,

27:56

typically, if I see a transgender

27:58

person, I'm

27:59

not going, like, oh, this person, they really got all their marbles.

28:01

They got all their marbles. Every time I see it,

28:03

it's the same thing. I don't give them fuck

28:05

about nobody's movement. But

28:08

just let me laugh and smoke while we

28:10

while you walk by. Yeah. Sorry, man.

28:12

You said it's so

28:13

good. Like, you in America. Do you think?

28:15

Just let to let Unless here's what I'll say. If

28:18

you if you're really

28:20

good at being trans --

28:22

Mhmm. -- I might have even acknowledged Naan trans.

28:24

You're just gonna fucking look at daddy. To be

28:27

fair, I have no idea. If you're bad

28:29

at it, then I have to

28:31

pretend that you're not bad at being

28:33

trans your you're not nailed it. You stink. You're an open

28:35

mic or trans person. Fix

28:37

yourself. Make yourself hotter. Thank

28:39

you. Were we

28:42

saying, Natalie? I'm on to a point here.

28:44

I'm at a good point. I was gonna say

28:46

unless if you didn't see this dude

28:48

pregnant, if you saw him before he looks like

28:50

a dude. So I think he's doing a pretty

28:52

good

28:52

job. No.

28:52

He's doing a great

28:53

job. He

28:54

looks like

28:55

a dude. Alright. I'll give it to him. But now he's got a

28:57

baby suck at his titti and now he's doing a bad

28:59

job

28:59

at it. Right. Hey.

29:00

Got your boy fucked up. Yeah. Being here on his

29:02

woman's shit right there. I I felt like

29:04

a basketball. I was just having someone.

29:10

You look at that. We

29:12

won. Excuse me. Come

29:14

on my way. Alright.

29:17

Let's see. M and M's is getting rid of

29:19

their spokes candies after being accused

29:21

of whokeness. Oh, yeah. The big

29:23

one. The lesbian one. The green

29:25

one? Yeah. Yeah. There well, I mean, look, they you

29:28

know, the green was, like, sexually liberated. Right? She's

29:30

hot. It became But apparently, this

29:33

is also they're saying they have something that

29:35

they're unveiling during the Super Bowl and

29:37

new commercial. Oh, god. So this is all just

29:39

a marketing ploy this is just, again,

29:41

they're using the Wokeness anti

29:43

Wokeness thing as

29:44

marketing, which is brilliant. Good for M

29:46

and M's for recognizing what Aviate's

29:49

people are,

29:49

You're like, yeah. These things are arguing about candies. So, like,

29:51

Shops, really, you're fucking moron. Shops, candies.

29:53

Naan if you eat and shit

29:55

out, Yep. And they

29:57

go comes out

29:57

the same way a pain. So then we we go,

30:00

like, oh, they're getting rid of them because the people complaining

30:02

about woke this. And now people have a key not m and m

30:04

that identifies as a plane.

30:08

What's your favorite

30:08

m? What's what you know what? What's your what's your

30:10

snacking on Naan and m edition? Let's go.

30:12

Let's go. Alright. Let's add some

30:14

m and m's to the order.

30:25

What is

30:29

that? A footer? People.

30:33

Meatball. Okay. A green meatball. What'd you snacking on m

30:35

and m edition? If you gotta have m right right now,

30:37

gun to your head. Peanut. Peanut

30:40

butter.

30:40

Peter, but his daughter, m and m. I'm gonna be very

30:42

good. But Peter,

30:43

but Peter, but Peter,

30:47

but you can bite him in half.

30:49

Yes. Gently. So if just

30:51

the candy comes off, then you get a bite

30:53

of peanut. Ralph Ralph is gonna charge me

30:55

for this Indian food. You fucking ratbatched

30:58

You rat mother rat bitch. We're gonna see.

31:00

I will make you a life in a living hell

31:02

now. Wait. Dash. You ratin' me out to Jude

31:04

Ralph.

31:04

Wait. Ralph doesn't wanna pay to the Indian food.

31:06

Are you saying he has a non issue? A

31:07

non issue.

31:13

So peanut peanut

31:16

peanut butter. I'm

31:19

peanut

31:19

peanut. I'm gonna

31:19

I'm

31:20

gonna be different. You know what

31:23

minute?

31:23

Crispy. The

31:24

pretzel? Those are

31:25

good. I love the pretzel. Pretzel was

31:27

pretty nice. You not enough in There's

31:29

a brownie battle. There's a brownie fucking

31:32

battle where anybody was a bit

31:34

much. No air decking it. It's due to too

31:36

much to each one. Get

31:38

it. I get my tea. It's I said, do my

31:41

sugar. Every bite you're like, so

31:43

tingling good. It's a cake. That's a

31:45

black man's piruses for something

31:47

between my little token to take away

31:48

it. I I had too much. My pinky

31:51

token Naan away with them brownie batter. They

31:53

made

31:53

one caramel ones too.

31:55

They're okay. I only can I'm gonna become a guy. Those are really

31:57

sweet. They had a coconut I mean,

31:59

either. The coconut crisp -- Okay. -- one with like it

32:01

was like coconut crispy chocolate.

32:04

And that shit was fucking

32:05

fired. Wow. Fucking fired up. I

32:07

had a cookie

32:08

one two nights ago. Oh,

32:09

Corey one. Yeah. I was at a cookie

32:12

one. That was the doll.

32:13

They haven't really met it. No. I couldn't

32:16

I like this segment. You

32:17

well, you should just turn the show into what you're snacking

32:19

on. It's a better it's a better show. It's

32:21

good. Yeah.

32:21

Very provocative. It's good for you all.

32:23

It's real. Right. Sounds good times. Sounds good.

32:25

Sounds good. Sounds good. Alright.

32:27

So wait. Hold on. So now so

32:29

what do we think And they're replacing

32:32

all those supposed people with Maya

32:32

Rudolph, the thing said.

32:33

Right. Yeah. Maya Rudolph. Identical.

32:36

Yeah. Unidentifiable. Yeah. So

32:38

we all see this. Well, that's gonna be

32:40

all of them. No. She's the new

32:42

spokesperson.

32:42

Oh, okay. But they're getting rid of the kandi

32:45

spokespeople. That's, like, when they

32:47

killed the Pearl Miller company,

32:48

Like, I like the black lady on the front, made me notice she

32:50

made a pancakes, but now Right. Angela.

32:52

Yeah. But now promo now I know she's

32:54

just in the basement of the promo

32:57

company. Slaving over hot. Yeah.

32:59

Like, her her family, by the way, was like, they're like, no.

33:01

No. We we love her on the bottle. She's like, she's an

33:03

Naan. do you

33:04

think? White people are like, no. No.

33:06

That's offensive. And she was brown colored.

33:09

It was

33:11

it was offensive. She's

33:14

really sick. But it should have been up to her. She was like,

33:16

you know, she's like, I wanna be an offensive

33:18

me. James. That's her right.

33:21

Everybody's so soft. So my

33:23

root off is just gonna be talking about candy

33:24

now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

33:25

The

33:25

Christmas commercial may look at that no more with Naan with

33:28

the yellow

33:28

Yellow and the santa. They do

33:30

exist.

33:31

It's

33:31

probably over dead tomorrow. Now you get

33:34

my arreut

33:34

off. That's trash. Yeah. I don't like

33:37

it. She goes to Beyonce voice because

33:39

she can play what a safe bet because she plays

33:41

everything thinking.

33:41

And it's, like, size kind of --

33:44

Yeah. -- kinda like She's a person

33:46

or teeny. Yeah. Alright. Let's This is my birthday. This

33:48

is my birthday. My root off

33:50

is every color you

33:50

like, yeah. I know.

33:53

Okay. So which which other should we do here?

33:55

This Toyota Kite, do we wanna

33:57

do the fitness model with the

33:59

jackpot? Excuse me? Yeah. The jackpotty

34:01

or shovel face?

34:03

What? Fitness

34:03

model.

34:04

I think we

34:05

should do both.

34:06

Yeah. Both. Fuck

34:07

it. Twitter night.

34:08

Let's let's do them both. Leave

34:10

a comment. Talk for Twitter night.

34:13

Fitness

34:13

bottle in. Show what?

34:17

Is that

34:19

your girlfriend? No. Alright. Tonight,

34:24

let's first

34:26

go to this fitness model.

34:28

Emily Skye, she claims cruel Trolls body shaver for her masculine

34:31

build. Let's see. I don't mind a Jacky's

34:33

a bitch dude. I like a chick who's got some

34:35

muscle on her.

34:37

I like that. Go thickness to

34:39

her. You said you want my trans men? She's she's

34:42

not even that masculine. They

34:46

I'll just start her Instagram. Started crazy, but that ain't Let me

34:49

see

34:49

her.

34:49

Oh, she lost weight. Yeah. They also so

34:51

she had

34:51

a baby, and then they also troll her about the loose

34:53

skin on

34:55

her stomach. Okay. Oh,

34:56

she still got her?

34:57

No. This is this is before. This is like her. This is when she They

34:59

got

34:59

it removed? No. She

35:00

didn't. So people are mad at her

35:03

for not getting it removed.

35:05

She worked out. She

35:06

got she got her body back. Yeah. Yeah. She

35:08

looks great. She

35:09

Lazy, she's not

35:10

amount this is not even a debate Twitter. Right?

35:13

She's obviously toy channeling. Towards fuck.

35:15

Naan.

35:15

She's looking good. The fuck out of here. There's a night after show.

35:17

She's there for some goofy ass or anything. Hell,

35:19

yeah. Dude, all

35:22

day

35:22

long. It's as good as

35:23

it gets. Stop it. She's I mean, she's like, I understand it's a

35:26

little more it's a little more defined

35:28

than as ideal. I would call

35:30

it

35:31

ideal. Right. The little gamey. Gamey. I'm seeing

35:34

competition.

35:34

She's marketing She's marketing Turkey.

35:37

That's what we're saying. She's a hot pet. No.

35:39

It's very beautiful. Uh-huh. It's it's not

35:41

even Naan Canvas attainable. Corners game hit.

35:43

Showing feet

35:44

too. There's a big feet.

35:46

Yeah. But not

35:47

bad. I'm not mad at that. I mean,

35:49

it's a stay yeah.

35:52

But you can't Like, I'm gonna see this. Alright. So it's

35:54

not it's a different trick. This is a woman, she's been called

35:56

shovel faced by bullies. Shovel

35:59

faced. For her stream underbite and she was transformed

36:01

by surgeries and surgery. Don't force her

36:04

before.

36:04

Oh, no. Under

36:07

by heart attacks

36:10

that

36:10

is that is jeez. Yes. So if we

36:12

if we

36:13

start here and just say, is this

36:15

a deal breaker?

36:17

I feel

36:17

like the BJ's could be better. Is

36:19

she doing it on purpose? No. That's just how Is

36:21

she a child shannon? No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

36:23

No. No. No.

36:23

Twenty one. Is there

36:25

any other picture? I

36:27

don't this is the before. I don't wanna I wanna show you the after one second. That's

36:29

She's

36:29

in Wales. Makes sure. So this

36:32

is

36:33

a deal breaker.

36:34

Is it a deal

36:35

like, if everybody's really, really

36:38

toyed, it wouldn't be a deal

36:39

breaker, but it would be, you know,

36:41

you wouldn't go out weather.

36:43

That's definitely not normal. You wouldn't you wouldn't dare. You'd be

36:46

like, all your friends are gonna be like, I've I've

36:48

comedians that are mean. Every time I walk

36:50

out of a comedy club with this bitch, everyone,

36:52

like, would Oh my god.

36:54

The ruthless things that Derek would lead the

36:56

charge at the fucking

36:57

table. It would

36:57

be all everyone on

37:00

Twitter would be Yeah. But all of my

37:02

fans would be like, look at this fucking look at

37:04

their white just like, I'm saying, blood and water.

37:06

Dad. I would go look like staying a

37:07

caveman. I can't

37:08

yeah. I can't deal with that. That's

37:11

pretty crazy. Bro. Yeah. I mean, my my like, a who hit?

37:13

My fan base will find anything wrong with the girl

37:15

that I'm dating. It doesn't matter. This is why I any girl

37:17

that I have to dance, I have to tell him, like, hey, just

37:19

so you know. At one point, my fan base will post pictures of

37:21

you, and it will be, like, it will be an angle. Ever had

37:23

fights about it,

37:24

like, the girl who -- Right. -- what's like If he goes,

37:26

no. Well, so the girls that I date that aren't

37:29

in the business, like the girl I'm dating now or I I did another girl

37:31

a couple years ago who I I didn't like I just

37:34

didn't really post them on social media that

37:36

much. I have like a secret. You know, I

37:38

just don't we don't have, like, a social

37:40

media relationship.

37:42

No. So yeah. They don't really

37:44

it's it doesn't most of the things

37:46

aren't that where they're like, they they don't reach out to

37:48

where they try to fucking harass her, you know. Yeah.

37:50

Sometimes I'll post like little comments. Like, we comment on

37:52

each other shit, and sometimes people will be like, oh,

37:54

fuck it. See you dating now. But doesn't

37:57

fucking matter. You're the trick people with baby. Or if you grew with

37:59

underpaid pet. Oh, under my bedroom. She's dad

38:01

cat died. Man, this girlfriend looks like

38:03

she discovered five on

38:06

the funkerchief. You know, Bumble

38:08

Wolf. If you're a victim of

38:10

race face, Bumble

38:11

Wolf,

38:11

there's god damn lemon juice. She's on

38:14

that hunter gather it. That's

38:16

kind of neat. That girl was in the

38:18

pray movie with the

38:20

pray I pray to the chase. Go back

38:22

for

38:22

that, bitch.

38:23

Avatar face.

38:23

Let's try your wedding pictures on the walls of a

38:25

cave motherfucker. Yeah. That's a

38:28

hieroglyphic face.

38:31

Let's see. Let's

38:34

see. Because these things she's got the greatest soul,

38:36

though. She got the greatest soul in the world.

38:38

Connects with you and everything. She's fucking

38:40

funny. Cool. Fucking body's

38:42

righteous dude -- Right. -- righteous body.

38:44

Right. You couldn't get past it. But the coolest

38:46

chick you're up from any time I've got it all. I

38:48

love what chick with a pretty face too. I gotta look

38:51

at the face. The face you gotta kiss

38:53

attention also. I love kissing, dude. I do

38:55

kiss all fucking like bite

38:56

off. Gonna suck on a chin. You

38:58

get it. Yeah. I could feel it. Crazy.

39:00

Chegg is out here. Like, no. I

39:04

think the BJ's could be interesting. Got that. It's not a

39:06

crazy holiday. That Naan ahead?

39:09

The the

39:10

I hadn't under by and they, like, give you

39:14

shit. Wow. So Zach, let's look at you

39:16

now. I know.

39:18

Whatever they gave you, my

39:20

keys go over the bottom part,

39:23

they fix

39:23

that. That

39:24

actually might help. Like You're like,

39:26

what do you mean now? They

39:28

fix They can fix that. Looks like a

39:30

fucking freak. Look at me. No. It doesn't have an eye. Good

39:34

luck. Alright. Can we see her now? No. What's

39:36

the name? He's and then we feel really bad because

39:38

you wish you a

39:40

surgery. Alright. That's not how to say what the doctors did. Double jaw

39:42

surgery. Double jaw. That's

39:43

just two of those under braces.

39:46

Oh, shit.

39:48

Slamin. Tang everything

39:48

back, Mitch, is Well, you know what? I would never

39:50

be able to unsee

39:51

what she used to look like though. Is that So that's what

39:53

her I'm so much fun of

39:55

her. Like, I she had more than

39:57

a draw done. You know, she has body dysmorphia too, like, like Oh, in her

39:59

head, she still looks like that. Does my jaw

40:01

look fat today?

40:05

Got carried in.

40:05

Too. No. It wasn't my Good.

40:07

I like an ugly duckling story. To me, if you

40:09

used to be a little ugly a little fluff. Actually,

40:11

there's

40:11

a little fluff right there. Let's

40:13

see some more pictures of our razors. I tried to find our

40:15

Instagram. I couldn't find it, but this isn't Dude,

40:21

Shoes Farrell. Whoa. He would have been good

40:23

for, like, MMA. Yeah. They're

40:25

gay boys. The musician was

40:27

raised by wolves.

40:29

This is a little bit warm. This is, like, not that

40:32

hot. So I'm assuming this is an

40:34

old pot of coffee. Remember?

40:36

How far is Indian

40:36

food? What? How far is Indian

40:39

food? No

40:41

way. How excited? That's

40:44

how

40:44

I will.

40:45

That's she need She looks like

40:47

she's trying to hold drool for years

40:49

in foods in the room room. Puneet.

40:55

I don't know. It was how it was

40:57

terrible. She's a she's a fuck She turned into a true tange, the

41:00

diamonds. She did a

41:01

thing. And you're gonna

41:02

spend the money to get your job,

41:05

double jaw surgery, fine. Yeah.

41:07

Surgeon made me feel like a natural woman. That's why I

41:09

said whether I wouldn't be I wouldn't be

41:11

advertising this though. I want me advertising this if I was her. I

41:13

would like to let that shit

41:14

disappear. So maybe it's just fucking young man

41:16

people

41:16

put everything up. If I had that shit, I would

41:18

never let anybody know. Why why would

41:21

you why would you do it? No. That's crazy. I feel so bad for women

41:24

because, like, oh, face. A dude, like, a dude

41:26

can just be funny or, like,

41:28

talented or charming

41:30

and, like, he's fucking, you

41:32

know, fuck it. He'd get some checks. There'd be

41:34

some underbite motherfuckers with some hot ass

41:36

bitches out there. Mhmm. And that bitch is just and

41:38

you have famous people with underbite? Yeah, man.

41:40

Are you gonna do a a dollar right Yeah. And the more we

41:42

accept the more we accept black culture, the

41:46

more this poor girl is gonna be

41:48

made fun of every time she walks out of a

41:50

room. And so we're pushing this

41:52

whole fucking, like, inclusive thing, but

41:54

who's who's making fun of this girl? It's black

41:56

people. I'm telling you right now. They

41:58

can't help themselves. I'm sorry,

42:00

man. I'm I'm I'm that girl. King

42:02

of Reese's. Back in high school

42:04

say, Lord, how about you? I was taking

42:06

a lunch there. I was taking recess.

42:08

Yeah. I used to hold court and snap

42:10

on fucking

42:12

everybody. Because you were nineteen. Who's that?

42:14

You were nineteen. You were nineteen.

42:16

Oh, yeah. I am in I

42:18

got nervous about

42:19

that, man. So many times that

42:21

I knew everything. Let's say,

42:22

learn how to help that girl if she's on the train, a

42:24

phrase. Spirit. When school gets out,

42:26

if that girl's on the subway,

42:29

Oh, yeah. Never mind. Derek looks like he

42:31

wants to go find her to make another

42:33

one. What was that kid

42:36

doing? Jesus.

42:38

Right. Right.

42:38

You got a yat in your mouth.

42:40

How about god?

42:43

Are Culligan. These are

42:45

under my Culligan

42:46

mouth. With

42:48

Naan under

42:49

bites. Amy

42:49

Poehler has got an under bite. There's a couple here. I

42:51

don't hang up.

42:52

Off you too. And twenty one now, Uber

42:56

Springs team.

42:57

That shit bad shit was crazy. No

43:00

bad. Wait. There's a

43:00

couple more

43:01

in here. Hold on. Nobody's underbiting.

43:03

This is bad. It's what we just

43:05

saw.

43:05

No way. Poor dad. She poor

43:07

cereal and then She's the She's her. That's

43:09

the jaw. Who else? I'm sorry.

43:11

I called her

43:14

jaw. So that's not a good advertisement. Rosie,

43:16

everybody looks normal compared to what

43:18

we just saw,

43:19

alright, he, but what he is,

43:22

what

43:22

he? Yeah. Woody definitely has an underbite look. Yeah. But

43:24

Woody gets some pussy? There's Woody.

43:26

Yeah. He's talented.

43:27

Absolutely. Charming.

43:30

What

43:30

is it dude? It needs

43:31

it dude. Yeah. I don't care how charming that

43:33

bitch is. You know, judge, charm

43:35

your way to the doctor's

43:37

office right

43:38

now. Charmy. Crazy.

43:40

See

43:40

if your insurance

43:41

covers that. Absolutely. Charmy insurance

43:43

agency. Let's see if things

43:45

Do you guys cover

43:48

ugly bitches? Worse thing about that chance is it's the first thing that comes in the

43:50

door. I know. comes in front of

43:52

me. CML there. God. Damn.

43:54

So everyone already has a lot of good work.

43:56

Everybody Naan us

43:58

away.

43:58

Yeah. Rest

43:58

of this business community. The automatic door opens when she's across

44:01

the parking lot. Naan

44:05

story is interesting. Alright. So a man tries to

44:07

kidnap a bikini Barriza through a drive through window. This

44:09

is the thing that

44:10

exists. Right? You, like, you go up to, like,

44:13

Yeah. You'll go up to a coffee shop. Coffee shop. And

44:15

there's just a bitch in a bikini,

44:17

and that's that. I was on TikTok Naan I

44:20

ended up Naan, a bikini barista's, like,

44:22

thing. And she's like, some fucking

44:24

dance and horror. You gotta look at this other

44:26

check, Shannon, who stabbed her boyfriend. I

44:28

don't know how I ended up on her Instagram. I ended

44:30

up following her though. She's so fucking crazy. You see

44:32

it on her phone. Her name is Jeannie, exum,

44:34

EXUM. Jeannie, and

44:37

I see. Crazy name. Do

44:39

I get this check? She I don't even

44:41

know the story. I don't even know we I

44:43

know we covered another only Naan. Just say the

44:45

check, this stab, dude, for having pictures of her when

44:47

she was thinner. Right? I don't know. Wow. I don't know. We

44:49

we covered a story. The girl that was there. She just walked in the window

44:51

of her covered in blood. Yeah. She killed her boyfriend, that guy. It's

44:53

not this one. This chick was dating a Puerto Rican guy. She

44:55

just stabbed him.

44:58

He lived. Oh, okay. Is this bitch? That. Only

45:00

dance performer, arrested accused of

45:02

stabbing her boyfriend shared a video on Instagram of

45:04

herself inside the

45:06

police station. Should the

45:08

Hudson Apartments of GeneAXM,

45:10

yes, you know, that's a thousand miles

45:11

there. You know, she's she's so She looks like,

45:13

you know, you gotta see her fucking videos? Listen,

45:15

I mean, it's crazy. III

45:17

watch her I watch

45:19

her reels. None of them

45:21

there's no one to describe this except that

45:23

she she does the same songs over and

45:25

over again.

45:25

Oh, right. Yeah. I'm sorry. She said, you gotta go over reels. That's what she

45:28

doesn't it's the same. No. She's

45:30

not. To settle that. But she's fucking

45:32

psychotic. Actually and they usually

45:34

had a

45:36

b. Doug listen to me, every one of these reels, we're gonna play them in a second.

45:38

Okay. The

45:39

the audio's off. So she'll be dancing, but

45:41

it's like just a

45:44

second off. And it comes off as so crazy. You should do the same song over

45:46

again. And it's just bonkers,

45:48

but I can't stop watching. On

45:51

TikTok, they

45:51

actually call that the millennial pause.

45:54

The millennial pause. The millennial pause. People can't

45:55

line up there. No. That looks really awkward. Dude, it's so

45:57

weird guy to play.

45:59

How old is she? I don't know. And

46:00

this other chick that she's with here

46:02

has maybe the nice sass that I've ever seen

46:05

in my life. That's crazy.

46:07

This bitch looks dirty though. GenieX, if she looks like she

46:09

got a dirty, smelly butt.

46:15

That's crazy stuff. Look, it's just a crazy

46:18

person watch.

46:23

she stabbed her boyfriend. She said, click

46:26

save.

46:27

SLA

46:28

bitch too. That's l a. That's all l a. Don't

46:30

ruin your life from

46:31

the minute you meet her.

46:33

Oh my

46:38

god.

46:38

Oh, not cool. It's great. That's

46:40

why every

46:41

anime. Oh,

46:42

keep going. You see, it's never on. It's it's

46:45

Hey, shoot. Hey,

46:46

shoot. Hey, shoot. Hey, shoot. Hey, shoot. Do it.

46:50

Yep. You yep. That's so off. It's

46:54

weird. There's something and I I watch every

46:56

one of them. I don't like to

46:58

get out. Yep. Watch it out.

47:00

Yeah. She was eating cereal.

47:01

Nope. Next to it. Yeah. I said, that's

47:03

the wild. Yeah.

47:06

That's

47:06

like they said. Yeah. Keep an eye on me. She was looking at potential NBA

47:09

stars eating cereal next to the film.

47:11

I say that's a

47:13

wild shit. Yeah.

47:15

It's just Yeah. She's out of here. Right. She's

47:17

out

47:17

of here. It's just the same songs over and

47:19

over again. Like, that's the faith, the

47:22

ash is the faith, and that she

47:24

will kill your

47:24

ass. This is what I think I look like. Just

47:26

let you guys know. But that's

47:29

that's why I've been a real

47:32

quiet. I'm suddenly in shock. No. No. You left

47:34

life behind your

47:35

eyes. Right. There's

47:36

nowhere else. There's a

47:39

there's This girl will ruin you. That's a Fatty

47:41

Michael Myers right here. Gonna do me. I

47:43

gotta say Fatty Mike.

47:44

Look, shit. We're not doing this one.

47:47

It's all. It's

47:48

all. There's nothing behind your eyes.

47:51

Should I like the Christmas Knick Knacks

47:53

old people collector?

47:55

It says it's gone. in the animatronics. Yeah. There's nothing

47:58

there. Chucki Cheese. It's like like the He's

48:00

in Grand Central, and I think you're trying to catch

48:02

his train of feel like it

48:04

was off.

48:16

News, like, awesome. Let's get it. And ninety point ninety

48:18

two point two k light. I

48:20

can't shit is done. No.

48:23

Comments. Every comment is just being, like, how is it stabbing

48:25

your boyfriend, you crazy whore? And

48:28

Oh,

48:28

yeah. So

48:28

what happens? Well, she doesn't here's the beautiful part.

48:31

This would you realize about it because I've Davis

48:33

and Check fucking or into the Instagram world. Right? And and

48:35

they're a little stabby. It is they let me

48:37

tell you something, dude. It

48:40

is a emotionless thing

48:42

that they do where they just want the clicks. They

48:44

engage with it all. Like, if whether if you're

48:46

pushing a comment like, hey, crazy, stabby bitch,

48:48

It doesn't matter. She's being pushed up into the algorithm more. She's getting

48:50

paid for that. She does not It

48:52

is. And like, the best thing in the

48:54

world she could have done was stab her

48:57

boyfriend. Because we're talking about her now. People are on the fucking page all the

49:00

time. I mean, I there's

49:02

that girl, I would

49:04

let her ruin my life.

49:07

I see I look out this way. I'm like, I'm like, I'm I'm

49:09

looking at it. No. She's a fucking damn

49:12

nutty

49:12

one. I eat her. She's a nutty

49:14

one. It's fucking nine on it.

49:17

I've give me her address, some nines, Naan

49:19

some fucking crazy side. I wanna

49:21

eat that psycho mirror out of her

49:23

butthole. Quick video.

49:26

Yeah, man. That looked like that looked like trouble. Yeah. She

49:29

seemed like straight trouble. Yeah. Troupe. You

49:31

can't even you drop her like

49:32

that. You gotta run to the opposite direction. Straight trouble,

49:34

Brett. After you have sex with

49:36

her. You

49:36

don't have sex with her. She's not because you're gonna pay for it. Yeah. That was a free.

49:39

That's not

49:39

a free one. I mean, there she can't she

49:42

doesn't comment

49:44

I don't know. Maybe maybe she's a but more than likely, she's probably

49:46

your fucking slutty broad. Right? She

49:48

probably fucked. Right? Yeah. She she what

49:51

We can't try to ruin every

49:52

guy. Right? It's what you gotta do is gotta get in, get

49:55

out. Right? Don't be good. But she also must be

49:56

good, but you can't make it like a

49:58

thing where it's like You

50:01

don't Naan run funny feathers. Just in and out.

50:03

Okay? Let another guy create some

50:04

shit. No. Don't let the drama catch. You gotta do some

50:07

flat you gotta do some like flat.

50:08

But I I fucked a lot of crazy things in there. Drop

50:10

forty. You got a trap where you go. People like, you don't fuck that check. That bitch is like

50:13

straight up like me too crazy

50:14

bitch. Do not fuck the check.

50:15

And I'm like,

50:18

Come on. And then you also might not do it, of course. Then

50:20

I do it, and then I'm in

50:21

it, but I'm in it, but I'm in and out. And I'm like, I'm

50:23

like, I'm a head. As an honest To

50:25

kill myself. Never lied. I've

50:27

you can't lie to me. You can't lie. You

50:30

can't lie to them. Right. If they feel like

50:32

they've a craziness, if you like to

50:34

a craziness, it activates their crazy dude. It's like fucking

50:36

the like a bomb show. It's like you almost

50:38

gotta fuck her on the table that you that

50:40

you

50:41

try to be. Let it

50:43

you gotta almost, like, auto attendant

50:45

and everything else. You gotta be Calling

50:47

his mom activate. Doug, you gotta you gotta

50:49

be honest with the crowd. Honest.

50:52

Very honest. Why would I have to fold

50:54

your clothes next to the door? Just be like, you gotta eat the

50:56

no bullshit at all. No lies.

50:58

No manipulation at all. And

51:02

then because you can always own that, and then they're gonna go find. I'm gonna go

51:04

to the next coin because the next guy manipulated There

51:06

you go. Any lie. There you go. And they named

51:08

you draw sure. They need

51:10

the justification if you don't give them a kernel of justification. You better

51:13

wrangle that crazy. You better wrangle it

51:15

crazy. You wrangle it. And then you get to fuck out of

51:17

it. That's Go ahead, Louis.

51:20

God did a lot of crazy bitches. I've done a lot of crazy

51:21

ones. And I I think I've gotten pretty

51:24

good at

51:26

at managing them.

51:28

Right. Edit. Chen, Edit. Edit this, please.

51:30

I don't feel it. You gotta swim a shower. I don't

51:32

wanna deal with this 1II swear to

51:33

sharks. You you you don't hold the nose

51:36

and eat turn off the guy

51:37

that puts in his head inside of the alligators mouth, that's that gets

51:39

my dick card. That is the type of shit that

51:41

I need in order

51:43

to come. Oh my god. I I need to be really brutally

51:46

dangerous. I'm a total opposite. Well, you

51:47

need a normal guy.

51:48

Yeah. No. She's the alligator. Yeah.

51:51

Go to the game. I'm the abuser.

51:53

You you need to bucket a fish. I get it.

51:56

Yeah. Well, my check now is very very

51:58

not Naan. Just like normal

51:59

fucking, like, all the blood.

52:01

No. About four at all. I mean, she's super cool,

52:03

super hot check, but almost like

52:05

too normal, where I'm like, where's the crazy coming

52:07

out? There's gotta be a because everyone's got a little

52:09

bit of crazy but she

52:12

just doesn't have any of

52:13

it. Okay, man. Fucking.

52:14

Yeah. Just be

52:15

happy about it. But that that just goes That doesn't

52:18

make me bored. Like it like, I'm like, I'm

52:20

like, fuck. Do

52:21

you feel like you're waiting for No.

52:23

No. I'm not. Because I feel like I know it pretty

52:25

well at this point, but it's like I've just dated

52:27

girls' worth, like, every time the phone rings, you get a text message,

52:29

like, my heart drops, and I get anxiety. I'm like, what

52:32

happened? What like, I've been in that's

52:34

been a relationship for me --

52:35

Yeah. -- like multiple times. Social

52:38

food.

52:38

She just used to

52:39

that. Indian food, sad

52:43

panier. Hey, Dylan.

52:46

CML and set it up nicely in

52:47

here, give us nice little fucking spread. Maybe turn the lights

52:49

down, put some string lights that are colorful

52:51

up. Yeah. Like in Indian restaurant, there was a

52:53

place when I first moved to

52:56

New York when I first yeah. When I first moved to New York City. No. Yeah.

52:58

When I first moved to New York

52:59

City, so I'm

53:01

stuck underneath. Okay. Like some The

53:03

bridge got stuck there for the rest of my life.

53:06

Uh-huh. Okay. You forgot I'm a

53:08

robot. Mhmm. Now when I first moved

53:10

here, there was street

53:12

in the east village, there was,

53:14

like, a string. I think they're all Curry

53:15

Ralph. It was called Curry Ralph. Wow.

53:17

I thought it was And you go

53:19

downstairs. Was it six? No. What's next? Do

53:21

you write, dude? It might be this block. You know, six. Was cut around. Are

53:23

we talking about where the studio is?

53:24

No. Because it was way far

53:27

away from Staten Island.

53:29

Yeah. No. It was

53:32

just like two blocks in every place

53:34

was an Indian restaurant. They would all have a

53:36

do that trying to bring in Yes. They would

53:39

my friends. Three drinks. Three drinks for you and they

53:41

would bulk you in. Free comedy. They would

53:43

bulk you in for lunch. And they

53:45

would and then you you'd go, like, alright. You'd look at the

53:47

one place and then the guy, like, no. No. No. No. No.

53:49

No. Seven dollars. And they would try to

53:51

negotiate prices. Hurry row. Adaghi. And that

53:54

shit was fucking higher and it was my favorite

53:56

place had all chili lights just hung in the all

53:58

all throughout it. So you go and it was just bright red.

54:00

It looked like a whole house. It really did you

54:03

sat there and eating shitty Indian food at all. Those are all New

54:05

York kids who go to get served underage. No. That's great.

54:08

Because the Indians will never take care. I'd never idea.

54:10

Those are the fucking good old days too. Thank you

54:12

very much

54:14

own. This looks fucking great, dude. Thank you.

54:16

Look at that garlic

54:17

naan. Mhmm. I wanna

54:18

see I wanna see Derek's reaction. This is great. We

54:20

gotta gotta try a little a little bit about

54:23

that we get some rice. What is that?

54:25

That's rice. Lemon. Let's you

54:27

ordered Lemonade. Lemonade rice. You

54:29

chose Lemonade, which is lemonade, so I've never heard

54:31

that. Usually, it's the white -- Yeah. -- This Monty rice? No. I get a

54:33

hot sauce to come about your ass. That's that it was

54:35

to be if you don't want a

54:38

hot

54:38

asshole, Don't touch that one on

54:40

a cool But Maddie too late.

54:42

Right. I just got bleached this morning.

54:44

So just put it in. These

54:46

are asbleached now, you

54:47

know? No. You wax

54:49

you shave it down. Do you wax you shave it down? No.

54:51

I just try to

54:52

go I'm at your house. No. You're gonna

54:54

be Naan

54:55

the bar. Everything. Oh,

54:57

no. No. Oh, not everything. No. I I got the lips

55:00

cleared. You got

55:01

the lips cleared. My

55:04

I got balm on my lips. And

55:07

And then I just go down to the the gooch

55:09

and then I don't shave my ass hole. Sometimes

55:11

I

55:11

do, but it burns a few

55:13

days later. Really? Yeah. I will

55:14

say that if you're a sponsor, the I will say that if they're

55:16

a sponsor, the landscape, the the I it's

55:19

it I listen to

55:21

read. This is Paul Lawson is pretty Don't you ever They just ruled it

55:23

in the crappers area. Ball

55:26

Lawson got methed all, making you all pulled out

55:27

there. You go.

55:30

Or have like that. That's

55:31

true as fine. Wait. Should I be shaving my asshole? I mean, I don't

55:33

know. If you've never

55:33

had any complaints, don't start now. No.

55:36

No. No. No. That's not true. Because guys

55:38

typically won't

55:40

complain.

55:40

Right. Because there's If you're completely bald, let me just say this. It

55:42

depends on hair you are. Right? You mean the asshole specifically.

55:44

If you're completely bald and you have a

55:47

a fucking little pocket of hair in your asshole. That's that

55:49

actually makes me get. It looks like it's mine to get

55:51

a little bit what I'm

55:52

doing. It looks like it's mine. As in air.

55:55

That's crazy. Only and you have a really hairy ass.

55:56

I don't have a really hairy ass. So Yeah.

55:58

Well, nothing what what do you say? I

56:01

look

56:01

back. There's nothing It's like Medicapies see

56:03

a picture just a picture of your asshole. This is not even weird. Who I don't even care. Like, whatever.

56:05

Let's just see your asshole real quick.

56:08

And

56:08

Okay. Hold on. I will let you

56:10

know if

56:11

you have a Harry or Naan.

56:13

I'll

56:13

send you a picture later. Thank you, Maddie. Because

56:15

I I guess you just don't really know until you're there.

56:17

Right. But if I'm going down to check, I do wanna

56:19

eat her

56:21

ass and if got a little fucking

56:23

she's got a little spider hairs in her ass. Well, I'm not loving it. Why don't really do butt stuff, so

56:25

You don't want guy you dressed? No. Come

56:27

on, man. Come on. Actually, Naan going out

56:30

of it.

56:31

What stuff is this? Wow. Get maybe not

56:34

tonight. Come on. Yeah. Not tonight.

56:36

You definitely don't do what's tonight.

56:38

God. Would you would you let a girl

56:40

eat your sisteric. No. Good. What if she had that chin? She's like, oh,

56:42

what's that Naan?

56:44

Because that that chin is that's gonna go

56:46

with her chin. It's gonna fucking touch her Naan

56:49

spot. Gonna go in.

56:51

Yeah. We'll get you going in. Okay. That's a chicken

56:53

going in. That's a strong

56:56

ass chin.

56:58

Alright. So how does this work? What will we do? Can you

57:00

How about this? We didn't really think about this. Yeah. What's going

57:02

on here?

57:02

Y'all didn't y'all went on this

57:06

goddamn. Set up a plate

57:08

for Derek and

57:09

Maddie. Give them a little bit of each. A little bit of each.

57:11

A little bit of each. Wash your

57:13

hands. The washer hands.

57:15

You nasty motherfucker. I'm like, damn, before you open it all up and we

57:17

gotta break Indian bread and all this shit. But Naan nigga

57:19

from Wayne's were at least watching got

57:22

your man. I wanna

57:24

know behind me to wrap shit in my fucking

57:26

garlic Naan. It's my focus

57:28

in

57:28

here, man. That these pump rockers in here doing

57:30

intern work. It's crazy. And

57:31

butts stuff. I do I do love a fucking I

57:34

love Minnie and Food, dude. I'm going to I got them

57:36

going to a plane and I can't eat too much right now because I

57:38

gotta take my son to an early

57:39

dinner. Yeah. Naan I gotta fucking

57:42

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

57:44

How much do you operate? Yeah.

57:48

Is that where you're going to? Yeah. Yeah.

57:51

Yeah. In upside, my mind. You know?

57:53

I like

57:54

it. I think you're really gonna like Naan.

57:57

Never seen it. I'm very excited about it. It's a

57:59

it's a big show you were saying, Zach. Right?

58:01

Yeah. It's a fucking huge

58:02

production. That's great. I think

58:04

Lewis is gonna be like James wake

58:05

up. No. No. James James

58:06

loves he loves musical theater. His mom took him to go see

58:08

Hamilton because she's all fucking broke. Yeah. You're gonna

58:10

have a good time.

58:11

Yeah. What's that? This is the mac and cheese.

58:13

And this is this is

58:15

the chicken. It's good. Give me, like, like, one little piece

58:17

of

58:17

yeast, make sure he likes it before you go crazy. One

58:19

little piece of yeast -- Just a sample. -- and

58:21

make sure it's as slowly as possible.

58:23

Yeah. If you could act like this. Act

58:24

like this is like your fucking like,

58:27

no. One piece of Naan. One piece.

58:29

Dude. One of each.

58:31

What are the words can I use? I

58:32

don't know. What are

58:33

the words can I possibly use for that?

58:35

Drum ass. We'll make them They're a little bit

58:37

of right. That's fine. Alright. Make sure your right's it. Make

58:39

sure your right is not waste Waste them walking.

58:42

That's what I said. Right. Gotta get a look

58:44

at that

58:44

one. Obviously. Try that out. And

58:46

this

58:46

is That's the I need the

58:49

Pannier that nobody knows about that. That's secret secret. Nobody knows

58:51

about Pannier.

58:52

Okay. William Matty Matty knew.

58:56

Is so green. I'm a fat

58:57

fuck. Yeah.

58:58

If you

58:59

know about Peony or you -- Yeah. -- you've had an idea.

59:02

You've had wait for that. I think you know about Peony or

59:04

you've got

59:06

two

59:06

more. I'm smelling like, god. Damn it. He's so much tumor. That really does smell

59:08

like a a fuck. That's cool with it. That's cool.

59:12

Yeah.

59:13

Getting a little cube most of the cube. And then one

59:15

of these Cheese. Well, I'm gonna lose. I

59:17

wonder if I can see Derek's reaction to

59:19

this. It's

59:20

like a mild cheese. Alright. Which

59:21

is kinda Yeah. What is, like, a month around

59:24

the world? Think

59:25

it's, like, cottage kind of

59:27

Jesus. That is it's so

59:29

red. It's so fucking one

59:32

piece. One. Why do

59:33

you wanna be challenged so much by your food?

59:35

That's oh my God. Look at

59:37

that. Yeah. Incredible. What do you get? Really good

59:39

though. It looks really good. This actually looks like

59:41

high quality alright. No.

59:42

It's good. Did we do LamVendaloo?

59:45

We did LamVendaloo. You know, I get this

59:47

piece of bread. A non. You gotta get a call

59:49

it a RIP it up. RIP it up. RIP

59:51

it up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta.

59:54

Thank you. That's where you're

59:56

at. Wow. Wow folks.

59:58

Yes, all of us. You

1:00:00

fucking

1:00:01

asshole. We're drooling. Saying how excited we are. Anyone

1:00:03

else? Get Maddie next. She's our guys. Yeah, Maddie next. Yeah, Maddie

1:00:06

next. Wendell, that's a

1:00:07

big choice. Okay. What do you want me to

1:00:10

eat first?

1:00:12

Anything. Try

1:00:12

yeah. Try it even. There he was. That's a paneer. Naan the

1:00:15

paneer. That's a spinach and cheese

1:00:17

pretty good. Fine. A little bit

1:00:19

of None. Mhmm.

1:00:22

Well, he's loving it. He's loving it. He

1:00:24

had no idea, like, he's he's shoveling it into

1:00:26

his face. He's never been more excited about

1:00:28

it, me and his entire life. I

1:00:30

see a genuine smile. Derek does a smile often. He's gonna really

1:00:33

like something. He's gonna really like something to

1:00:35

smile. That chicken corima hit

1:00:38

creamy. It's delicious. It's going down.

1:00:45

Naan beef.

1:00:47

We gotta try that lamb window. It's

1:00:49

a little spicy. It's gonna go

1:00:51

down. You need a little bit of that bread,

1:00:53

but the spice kicks

1:00:56

good.

1:00:56

Good flavor. Oh.

1:00:57

How to feel

1:00:58

about Naan? different plating design this time.

1:01:00

Naan. Well, throw some lemon rice

1:01:03

on it. Between the

1:01:03

spices, fuck. The yeah. The Which

1:01:06

one? The lamb.

1:01:06

No. The lamb.

1:01:06

The lamb. The Naan. The red one. It's

1:01:09

very good, guys. Very, very

1:01:12

excited.

1:01:12

Very colorful plate. Shannon,

1:01:13

how do you just your life sucks.

1:01:15

You're being a vegan. This is like your whole life. With

1:01:18

the

1:01:18

food that I

1:01:18

eat. You're not happy to take out to be happy. Happy

1:01:20

with it.

1:01:21

Don't

1:01:21

need to be happy. It's one

1:01:23

of the great joys in life

1:01:25

is eating flesh of other animals.

1:01:27

I agree.

1:01:28

It's it's one of the things that we like get

1:01:30

to enjoy. It is a beautiful, beautiful thing. I think evolved

1:01:32

human

1:01:32

beings don't need to eat.

1:01:34

Evolve human beings. Do you need to eat? Evolve

1:01:36

human beings, you're you're thinking to

1:01:39

for your I don't know what I'm

1:01:41

saying. I was

1:01:42

excited to hear the next word. I'm I'm

1:01:45

excited for this fucking food right now.

1:01:47

Why are you so slow, dude? He's

1:01:49

fucking speeding up. You're fucking

1:01:51

asshole. Calm down. You're fucking it's you don't

1:01:54

need a plate that, like, you're in a fancy restaurant. You get

1:01:56

Like,

1:01:56

I'm like I think he's concerned about the table.

1:01:59

Not sure.

1:01:59

Naan we there's napkin's

1:02:02

son. Yeah. Got

1:02:03

it. Move it.

1:02:06

He's fucking bad at this, dude. That's really your last day. Not that

1:02:08

he's bad at. It's that he's crumbling under pressure.

1:02:11

Yeah. Absolutely. Losing his mind right now.

1:02:13

Well, my pleasure is good, bro.

1:02:16

Oh, yeah. Let me try. I spent so

1:02:17

much money on

1:02:18

my fucking family vacation this year. I'm so angry, and

1:02:20

we're only going to Puerto go to Zaki.

1:02:23

Second

1:02:23

test. Yes. So that lemon rise at the upper left

1:02:26

hand on. We're going to

1:02:27

Puerto Rico. We're going to a fucking hotel. It

1:02:29

Well, I just

1:02:30

so airline

1:02:31

tickets were a dollars airline? Or It was it's

1:02:33

fucking wild. Really? Yes. That's

1:02:36

wild. And I'm bringing six

1:02:38

people. Wow. Just

1:02:40

the fucking airline tickets. I'm so angry. Now first class, it's

1:02:42

fucking like We're on row thirty eight.

1:02:44

Right. We're we're on the

1:02:47

back. How do Puerto Ricans afford it? It's it's wild,

1:02:49

dude. I mean, usual I

1:02:50

mean, I'm just saying you're a high level Puerto

1:02:53

Rican. So, usually, you can find

1:02:55

fights for, like, four, five hundred

1:02:57

bucks. What is it like a holiday weekend? Yeah. I

1:02:59

I was everyone's on school Yeah.

1:03:02

Schools off. I'm going during that week.

1:03:04

And then also, like, I have very specific times.

1:03:06

Like, I'm unwilling to go, like, I could have saved money if

1:03:08

I was willing to go at different times. At, like,

1:03:10

five in the morning. I'm

1:03:13

going at five in the morning, but I'm saying, like, you know,

1:03:15

coming back at a decent time and this is

1:03:17

fucking thank you very much. That

1:03:19

was a food

1:03:20

guys. Awesome.

1:03:20

Is it awesome? Awesome. You

1:03:22

guys have

1:03:23

seconds. Can I have

1:03:24

a fork? Yep. Oh my god.

1:03:28

Great. Great. Good night. A little piece of that night. I

1:03:30

shouldn't be doing gluten free. I'll

1:03:34

pass it over here, Zachary. Thanks.

1:03:38

Alright. Shannon introduced next

1:03:40

topic.

1:03:40

Why? That's all we can talk. Well,

1:03:42

we didn't we didn't finish the last one.

1:03:44

So there was the the bikini barista

1:03:47

know people

1:03:47

do. People take garlic nam. They just

1:03:50

order the garlic nam, and then they throw pizza sauce

1:03:52

and cheese on it, throw it in the oven. It's pizza.

1:03:54

What? Done. Non

1:03:56

pizza.

1:03:56

Naan Non

1:03:59

pizza.

1:03:59

Literally, the crackers

1:04:00

are in here. Oh, well, pop it down.

1:04:03

That's a

1:04:03

good idea.

1:04:05

I

1:04:05

wouldn't just shove it in there, but

1:04:08

I'm

1:04:08

sorry about that. Nobody cares about the

1:04:11

show

1:04:11

anymore. Wow. You know people are gonna be, like, with the eating you

1:04:13

guys, with the

1:04:14

fun. They're not gonna be happy. This

1:04:15

segment Me,

1:04:17

I'm here. Me, I'm here.

1:04:19

Well, our general show was trying to not work

1:04:22

at eleven AM on a Friday.

1:04:24

Yeah. You guys are eating -- Mom. --

1:04:26

shut up. Yeah. Mom, I'm talking to the four comedian's

1:04:30

team. Yo. This

1:04:32

is spicy. Alright. Let's see this.

1:04:35

This is Marissa, who is I'm sweating

1:04:37

already. It just doesn't

1:04:38

There's a short short video of him

1:04:41

trying to assess her through the window.

1:04:43

Oh, Darren can't hear

1:04:43

me. Okay. Take

1:04:46

a look. The video released by Auburn tonight

1:04:48

shows him the drive thru of a coffee

1:04:50

stand as you can see the man grab.

1:04:52

Being a real ass dude, looking there. And then

1:04:54

swipes as you told the police

1:04:56

say was a looped zip

1:04:57

tie. The woman will The police tie

1:05:00

is zip tie. Oh,

1:05:02

shit. Wow. Hell, yeah,

1:05:04

dude. Look, I'm not you should not kidnap

1:05:05

women. I'll say that right now.

1:05:07

Thank you for saying that. You

1:05:09

shouldn't do it. But they

1:05:11

did they did find him because they were able to identify him based on

1:05:13

the tattoo on his arms. Shouldn't okay.

1:05:15

They arrested

1:05:15

him. They arrested him.

1:05:18

Let's say, Why would I get them on? Because if I'm that guy, I got a good

1:05:20

defense.

1:05:20

I'm going, I was trying to

1:05:23

get my

1:05:23

money back from her. I was simply trying to

1:05:25

steal my change back. How

1:05:28

do you know that? They're like, that was a zip ties, sir. I was like, wasn't. That

1:05:30

Naan She said she is obviously changing

1:05:32

money, giving him back his change for the

1:05:34

drink, and then trying to grab her.

1:05:37

That's pretty crazy, bro. I see. He's just saying

1:05:39

on his lawyer, he's getting off with

1:05:41

simply, like,

1:05:43

with nothing. You're a devil's advocate. It

1:05:46

doesn't say what charges just that

1:05:47

the incident remains under investigation. But we

1:05:50

need to

1:05:52

pause because I need to finish this food. It's so good. Let's just pause and

1:05:54

come back food. Nobody's nobody wants

1:05:56

to have a

1:05:57

conversation. Derek's wedding. Oh,

1:05:59

wow. That sounds

1:06:01

crazy. What is this?

1:06:04

Water. Seltzer.

1:06:06

Wow. Seltzer? Seltzer from

1:06:08

Seltzer for

1:06:08

all. Can I get that fork next to you? Of course. Yeah. Let's

1:06:10

take a quick pause one. Can I have a peso

1:06:13

lassi? Okay.

1:06:17

We are

1:06:19

back. Whoa. That vindaloo

1:06:21

is spicy, challenging.

1:06:26

Oh, yeah. That

1:06:27

was good. It was

1:06:28

great. But now

1:06:29

I'm sweating my ass off. Mhmm. It's good

1:06:31

though. I need a

1:06:32

I need

1:06:33

a cold wet towel. So

1:06:35

badly done. Cold wet

1:06:38

towel. I said that that's got

1:06:40

kicked after or she almost

1:06:42

got kicked we have a picture of

1:06:43

her. Let

1:06:44

me see

1:06:45

if she's worth it.

1:06:46

They they didn't I looked through multiple articles to

1:06:48

find it. They never they didn't give her name

1:06:50

or over. It wasn't a good plan because you know you're being filmed, and you're

1:06:52

in a car with a license plate.

1:06:55

Mhmm. I just got it. It's sort of

1:06:57

crazy. Like, how did you not

1:07:00

think that through it. Well, he thought far enough to have a pre done zip

1:07:02

tie. Dude, and I hey. This

1:07:04

is filmed that I have a car with a

1:07:06

thing

1:07:07

that shows people what it is. Dude, in the fucking, like, fifties before they

1:07:10

were, like, security cameras, like

1:07:13

I mean, I would

1:07:15

say a large percentage of men were

1:07:18

kidnapping and murdering people. Oh,

1:07:19

yeah.

1:07:19

Why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you? What's

1:07:22

deterring you? What's

1:07:23

to stop you? Certainly not a

1:07:26

moral

1:07:26

compass. True. What? We can't

1:07:28

eat in the middle of the show, like, No.

1:07:31

We can do it, dude. This was like, this was

1:07:34

completely all right now. I just need lots of

1:07:36

this shit. No. I'm sleepy. I just need a

1:07:38

cold wet towel and I got it now because I'm just

1:07:40

starting

1:07:41

to pour sweat. Yeah. Yo. Yo. This is so

1:07:43

funny. Thank you. Oh, that podcast is so funny,

1:07:45

man. Yo.

1:07:45

My focus really do go with the

1:07:48

ideas that swirl around Naan head. I'm gonna start

1:07:50

fantasizing about any of food, and all of a sudden it's

1:07:52

here. And now we can't finish the goddamn program.

1:07:54

Got it. This is

1:07:56

actually what? Doing good, dude. Oh

1:07:58

my god. The real podcast is like that

1:08:00

twilight zone where the kid could think of

1:08:02

anything you want. And

1:08:04

else in the town, had it pretend they liked it. Yeah. Or else you would think it

1:08:06

was terrifying. Because we're rabbit sitting

1:08:08

together. My eyes in and make

1:08:11

Maddie's

1:08:11

mouth disappear. At all. I was just like, you're so funny,

1:08:14

Lou. This is the best.

1:08:16

Yes. Of course, I wanna be

1:08:18

here at eleven o'clock in the

1:08:20

morning. I

1:08:22

was so sweet. Alright. No. I don't go

1:08:24

way better. Now does this cold hot towel change

1:08:27

my front? Cold hot towel. No. Don't

1:08:29

say anything. He'll make

1:08:31

your eyes disappear. What did you say? I know

1:08:34

who's who's I didn't I didn't really

1:08:36

know that movie. There's so many movies

1:08:38

that I've seen when I was just

1:08:41

home from sick from from school. So I

1:08:43

associate the movies with a weird sick feeling. Okay. That's

1:08:45

one of them. Like,

1:08:48

I saw the first

1:08:50

time ever, the twilights on the movie, would came in the or whatever? Okay. Was

1:08:52

that was that was literally

1:08:54

Naan

1:08:55

out, like, eighty CML? Yeah.

1:08:57

It

1:08:58

fucking that one, it just reminds me of being sick. There's other warriors. Okay. First episode Warriors.

1:09:00

I was home homes sick from

1:09:02

school. From being to the show, Mash.

1:09:07

Yeah. The mask came on when all the fun stuff was over.

1:09:09

Yeah. That's what they did. The mask the

1:09:12

mask theme was the

1:09:14

signal that kids' TV was

1:09:16

done. Yeah. It's

1:09:17

yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't like that. I didn't like that. I don't

1:09:19

think I ever watched mesh. I never watched

1:09:21

it. We don't want one. I

1:09:23

just changed them. Was it funny?

1:09:25

Was it like a hilarious take on war? Drummer. It was like a war drama.

1:09:27

Mhmm. Not like f droop. F droop

1:09:30

is a hilarious take on war.

1:09:32

Right?

1:09:33

Yeah. Sweet. Let's watch Oprah.

1:09:36

What?

1:09:36

That's what you

1:09:39

would watch. Yeah. It

1:09:42

was like Maury, Oprah, and then Jerry Springer in a row. Was your did you have a parent at home

1:09:47

now? Well, you're See, I had

1:09:49

a fucking sit through all my mom's fucking soap operas, the stories. And then you know, I

1:09:52

get a chance to watch

1:09:53

these. And

1:09:54

then you would know every single thing

1:09:58

I haven't seen it. I feel so bad for my

1:10:00

aunt, my aunt's eighty five years old, and she

1:10:02

loves days of our lives. Like, loves it. And

1:10:04

they they change it's worse not on TV. Now

1:10:06

now you have to have paramount plus. So it's like, I try to, like,

1:10:08

teach my standard user remote. It's so intuitive for

1:10:10

me. I'm like, yeah. You fucking go

1:10:14

that way. Dumbass. What are you doing? Like, you're for

1:10:16

Harlock -- Oh, that way. -- from Harlock perspective, like,

1:10:18

a a remote thing has, like, a hundred buttons

1:10:21

on Naan. just more, like, comfortable whatever it

1:10:23

is. I'm, like, There's three buttons. Scroll. Click the

1:10:25

center. It's so easy. It's

1:10:27

so intuitive. It's it's designed

1:10:29

for a fucking child.

1:10:31

Right. But, like,

1:10:32

Oh, no. I would say it seems

1:10:34

so futuristic. Where's the guide? Yeah. You know, on Christmas Eve, I walked into my mom and

1:10:37

grandma just sitting in

1:10:39

silence for an hour. They

1:10:41

were waiting for CML uncle to come

1:10:43

turn on the Christmas music. It was literally The

1:10:46

screen just said Christmas music. And it was click

1:10:48

enter. The

1:10:50

late fee of it come down and put it on

1:10:52

the conference call. The the last time we tried,

1:10:55

we put it on something. Yes. And we

1:10:57

didn't know what the hell it was. Touch it.

1:10:59

Yeah. So now they won't touch it until my uncle comes downstairs to press the button.

1:11:01

CML get it, like, I I don't wanna adopt

1:11:03

new technology that easily, so,

1:11:05

like, an old person. But it's just so much easier. No. Like, you just

1:11:08

scroll. You just scroll down. I think it's not that they

1:11:10

don't know how to do it. It's that they're done learning

1:11:12

things. Done learning. Yeah. Yeah.

1:11:14

They've shut that part off. They're

1:11:17

like, I don't want it because then they have to do it. Yeah.

1:11:19

From then all, they set a precedent that they know how to do this thing, so they have

1:11:21

to do it. Like, my my aunt can't

1:11:23

even type a pass

1:11:26

put in on the cell

1:11:27

phone. Right. Like, my son is a cell phone.

1:11:29

She watches him, like, if there's an emergency,

1:11:31

like, you know,

1:11:33

she can't open

1:11:33

the phone. Like, he better not be you know, sleeping

1:11:35

or have no fingers it's older. Yeah. Yeah. But,

1:11:38

you know because they're

1:11:41

101.

1:11:42

She'll be dead soon, guys. Yeah. There'll be there'll be five

1:11:44

people on vacation. It'll be four people.

1:11:46

That's a thousand ten. That was less casual.

1:11:48

Also, what I reason to go into a hotel

1:11:51

is because I'm bringing my hand. Like, we

1:11:53

usually do a valor or something like that, but the idea

1:11:55

of fuck it having to pack six people in a car, go find a restaurant,

1:11:57

go find a it's

1:11:59

it's just too much. Too much

1:12:01

in Puerto Rico. So Hotel. Doing a hotel

1:12:03

with everything. You got a casino, got pools, beach,

1:12:05

fucking restaurants

1:12:08

today Naan.

1:12:09

Will literally

1:12:10

just fucking chill. And that's gonna fun. and Anne gonna to I'll fucking blackjack.

1:12:13

That'd be great.

1:12:16

Yeah. Alright. Love it. Alright.

1:12:18

We're gonna wrap this one. It's been a lot of fun. You guys are the best character at Indian food for the first time.

1:12:20

Whoo. What a fucking day? What a

1:12:22

what a day what a day fucking day?

1:12:27

Morning. It's a great Friday. Yeah. We'll be back on Monday with another

1:12:29

great episode of your favorite podcast, the Real

1:12:31

Last podcast. Until

1:12:33

then, have yourselves a great weekend. Good night. Beautiful.

1:12:40

That's all

1:12:44

folks.