0:00

Calling all Ohio sports

0:02

fans. In just a few weeks, DraftKings

0:04

sportsbook will be live starting January

0:06

first you'll be able to bet on all your favorite

0:09

sports from the comfort of your own home

0:11

with DraftKings. To celebrate, all new

0:13

customers will receive two hundred dollars

0:15

in free bets when you sign up today

0:17

using code WanderyOH. Plus,

0:19

five lucky customers will win a one hundred

0:21

thousand dollar free bet Download the

0:23

DraftKings sportsbook app now and sign up

0:25

with code WanderyOH to get two

0:27

hundred dollars in free bets to use once

0:29

mobile sports betting hits Ohio. Plus, five

0:32

customers will want a one hundred thousand dollars

0:34

free bet that's called WanderyOH only

0:37

at DraftKings sportsbook, gambling problem

0:39

called one eight hundred 5899966

0:41

twenty one plus physically present in Ohio, eligibility

0:43

restrictions apply, c terms at draftkings dot

0:45

com slash sportsbook, subject to regulatory licensing

0:48

requirements, one per new customer, two hundred dollars

0:50

issued is eight twenty five dollar free bets no purchase

0:52

necessary for sweepstakes for where prohibited ends

0:54

first day draft kinks is allowed to operate in

0:56

Ohio, c terms and official rules at DKNG

0:58

dot co slash o h. Fill

1:01

her up. You're listening to

1:03

the Cash Digital Network.

1:12

Well, I'll call the fuckers. It's the real last

1:14

podcast. Hey, just boy, Louis Shea Gomez.

1:17

We're right on paper, last dude, ultimate minority,

1:19

joined out of comedy. I got a lot of names. International

1:21

Superstars at Tenico. Hey, yo, buddy.

1:23

Funny. A psycho. You know what I mean?

1:25

I was double teaming this chick with her husband.

1:28

Now he's selling Coke in heaven. Are you fucking

1:30

ready motherfuckers? It's the only

1:32

real podcast I've got there.

1:40

Yeah. That's a boy. It's it's your boy.

1:42

Louis Shacom has Puerto Real Estate. Coming

1:44

at you at likely a patcher on a Friday

1:47

morning. Zachomico's

1:52

here. Good morning, Lewis. How are you? I'm pretty

1:54

good, my friend. You look like Charlie Brown

1:56

on work release. That

2:01

sounded more racist than it should have been. Alright.

2:04

Look, we have a great show planned

2:06

today, ladies and gentlemen from news for

2:08

women. How are you? Clearly Lebron.

2:10

Hi. How are you? Hey.

2:14

Also, ladies and gentlemen, from erase the movie,

2:17

the play. Brett Rayboulds

2:19

here. Hi. How are

2:19

you? Hi. Hey. What's going on with

2:22

you guys?

2:22

That's gone. We should just

2:24

give him nothing the entire show.

2:26

Oh my goodness.

2:27

Yeah. Just give you zero. Dude,

2:29

you

2:30

you give me, like, three usually.

2:32

Yeah. I know. You fucking And I would bring

2:34

it down to zero. I can give you less.

2:36

You

2:36

can't shift down. It's a possible burger. It's a

2:38

possible what

2:38

it give you less things to

2:41

talk about. I

2:41

don't believe it.

2:42

Yeah.

2:43

Give us race to the place.

2:44

Chloe LaBranche. I

2:47

like your skank vest sticker, Chloe.

2:48

Thank you. Gotta wrap it. Mhmm.

2:50

Or

2:50

makeup today.

2:51

You did where you look cute. Mhmm. There's a cuteness

2:54

to you. There's a fucking there's a

2:56

look, I would've tried to ban Chloe -- Mhmm. -- but many

2:58

at times many at times I would've tried

3:00

to throw it down deep and tight inside

3:03

of Chloe. But

3:05

she's batch it crazy. I

3:07

I see it. You have it's so I

3:10

just the look on your face, it's

3:12

just I don't know what else to say about it.

3:14

You are a crazy wacky fucking broad.

3:16

There's something about your face that says

3:18

forty five missed calls. It's

3:22

just it's a it seems like a lot

3:24

of what's going on in the world of Chloe? I feel like we

3:26

haven't done a show together in a

3:27

minute. What's going on with you

3:28

lately? Nothing really. I'm super single.

3:30

So, you know, that's why I wear makeup. And

3:32

So you're trying to get the attract the attention.

3:35

Fans. I'm really I'm really plateauing right now.

3:37

Really? You know,

3:39

feeling stable. What are

3:40

you looking for in a man right now, Chloe? Are you really

3:42

looking for a man?

3:43

I think so. You are. The Chloe's always

3:45

putting that energy out. Of,

3:48

like, a desperate, crazy woman looking for

3:50

a man and you're a

3:50

hot, young chick. All you gotta do is

3:53

not act that way.

3:53

Get rid of that. Look on your face.

3:55

I I should just change my face.

3:57

You should change your face somehow because it's coming

3:59

off like a fucking lunatic.

4:01

Yeah. There is like reality You

4:03

make you nervous. Is that just Do I?

4:05

Yeah. I do make people nervous. That is

4:07

AAA thing that I do. So what are you

4:09

looking for in a man? Give me your your top because

4:11

we talked about this yesterday. There was a check out a Tinder

4:13

profile, and she was like, he needed to be

4:15

six feet tall. He need to fucking

4:17

have a at least a seven inch cock.

4:19

And he needed to have no jobs. We could

4:21

travel the world with her. This is an influence, and

4:23

she was an only fan's bitch.

4:25

So

4:26

What or what are you looking for? What are the what

4:29

are the things? Is there a height

4:30

requirement? Seven feet tall, six inch cuff?

4:32

Yes.

4:32

Yeah. It's harder to find than you think.

4:35

It's very specific. I

4:36

would say tall. Taller than me.

4:39

Taller than me.

4:39

Pretty easy to tolerate. Easy to You're

4:41

very

4:41

short. You're tired of a gal. I

4:43

want someone over 58I would say.

4:45

Right. That's very

4:46

That's not as as average as a kid could

4:48

be. Yeah.

4:49

Five five eleven. Go for five eleven. We're changing

4:51

your mind for her. You gotta go up. Yeah.

4:54

It'd be nice to someone who didn't have a job.

4:56

No job.

4:57

That's fine. As long as they could still fly me

4:59

around.

5:00

We're definitely

5:00

well. Yeah. Yeah. That's

5:01

a different I'm looking

5:02

for I'm sick of trust fund kids. I'm

5:05

looking for a self made man. A self

5:07

made man. Yeah. Like a

5:09

port Like

5:09

Jesus, he's a

5:10

rattleshop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like

5:12

a That's that's It's

5:14

one and the same. Right? Yeah. I would

5:16

definitely fuck Jesus because I like men with

5:18

powerful fathers.

5:22

Jesus. Was Jesus hot? Definitely.

5:25

The the images of Jesus are kinda hot.

5:27

Right?

5:27

Definitely. Yeah. That's a drug. Ripped.

5:29

You could see his whole body when he's He's got

5:31

a great body.

5:32

Who's emaciated? I don't know if that's ripped.

5:33

There's no way that's what

5:34

he looked like. How tall was Jesus? Shannon, what are they saying?

5:36

It wasn't ripped.

5:37

How tall was Jesus?

5:38

He was tiny. He was a nice

5:40

I think I'm reading footer. I think I'm reading the wrong

5:43

guy.

5:43

No. No. People were way shorter. Yeah. People

5:45

backed

5:45

the guy. But he was the one white guy in

5:47

that area. So he had to attend.

5:49

Right? No. I think that you're

5:51

right about this. When I learned about Rome

5:54

and I learned about when I when I went to

5:56

Rome, they were talking about how everyone

5:58

was, like, an average of, like, five five. Like,

6:00

all the men were, like, an average of 5556

6:02

Shannon, what does it say?

6:03

5555

6:04

g's was a little tiny man. But that's also,

6:07

like, relatively speaking, like It's

6:09

still taller than me. That is true.

6:11

And he also was he was he

6:13

tall was he average height for that

6:14

time? Shannon, Jesus times.

6:17

Same? He might have if it was above average, Would

6:19

you say Jesus is a self made man?

6:21

I think he's more of a trust fund. No. He's definitely

6:24

the epitome of a trust fund kid. Yeah.

6:26

Your father is

6:28

god. Yeah.

6:29

I mean, Jesus he's an

6:31

immaculate birth, so he kinda is a self

6:33

made man. He's

6:38

a fucking she's kind of volumetric.

6:41

Didn't he die poor? Right. He was

6:43

you know, it's he's not a a self made

6:45

man. You crush Hard

6:46

to work when you're nailed across. You're thinking of Vincent

6:48

Van Gogh. No. He had twelve apostles. But

6:51

you hear about that. You hear about twelve apostles.

6:54

All that is. That's all Christianity

6:56

was. These twelve motherfuckers, it

6:58

wasn't a it was a crazy

6:59

person. It was dirty, twelve friends.

7:01

Yeah. An aunt or ajali. It was claims. It

7:03

was like Andrew Schultz when he goes on a fucking

7:08

Jesus acted like Andrew Schultz. A cautious

7:10

Matthew. No, dude. Everyone's wearing the same

7:12

Huggies sweatshirts or some shit, dude. They're

7:14

all in a private jet. We get it. Jesus.

7:16

We get it. You're rich. You

7:18

make me sick. Shannon, what was the average time

7:20

for men back in Jesus

7:21

times?

7:21

Five three. Same? Yay. He

7:24

was dark and handsome dude. Mhmm. I

7:26

bet you Jesus had a peace. Do you set a

7:28

pieces? For sure. Yeah. Right? In

7:30

my bible. Because I feel

7:33

like tall skinny

7:35

fucking dude. So you guys got big fucking

7:37

hogs. Thank you very much. Looks

7:39

directly at me. I appreciate it. Do you have a big hogs?

7:41

You know, okay. Slap it on the table right

7:43

now. I I'm not gonna buy the table right now. But you know

7:45

what? Every Well, I have to

7:46

use that you gave that to. Slap you dick on

7:48

the table. You guys.

7:50

I'm giving you zero. So if I gave you my

7:52

dick, that would be at least four. That'd be

7:54

three. Yeah. Yeah. We

7:55

both we both

7:57

we both are on the same comedic wavelength

7:59

of Well, there's one great

8:01

adage I've heard in comedy, which is your dick

8:03

is as large as is funniest

8:05

than that

8:05

moment. Does that make sense?

8:08

Yes. It is. If it's funniest to say you have a

8:10

big dick, then you have a big dick. Well,

8:11

if you have a your

8:12

dick is as large as it is, you know, let's

8:14

get real. It's it's fine. It's

8:16

it's it's fine. And Wait to me if

8:18

ever. You don't slam on the table. Don't be gay

8:20

bitch right now. Okay. Shows a bitch. No.

8:23

Chloe. The funky. Inappropriate.

8:26

We're trying to talk about my

8:27

cock. Crazy horror. What

8:28

is wrong with you? Yeah,

8:30

dude. I got a lot of problems. So will

8:32

you let Chloe feel it through your jeans? Let

8:34

you grab it doing that. That'll be an

8:36

idiot, dude. Why are you today, bitch?

8:40

That's crazy. Oh, she's

8:42

ready. She's

8:42

happy. You're awesome. I go

8:44

no. You're a girlfriend? I do a girlfriend.

8:47

Would you be mad? Yes. Chloe beat the fuck

8:49

out of his girlfriend, dude?

8:50

Yes. Do Chloe find his girlfriend and beat her up how funny

8:53

would that be? What if Chloe just became obsessed with Brett

8:55

that she felt this big fucking hog through his

8:57

pants?

8:57

I don't know. No comment.

9:00

How long have you been with your girlfriend? Set

9:01

eight months, seven months. Very new. That's

9:04

huge. Nothing That means nothing. For for

9:06

a bit, first of all, is your girl a

9:08

comic? No. Is she funny?

9:10

Yes. Does she like you? Because you're funny.

9:12

I think that's a component of it. Right. So it's

9:14

also it's also those beautiful

9:15

eyes. Thanks. Let's get real. They are

9:17

pretty But

9:17

they're pretty eyes. That's good. The boys got pretty eyes. So

9:20

let's get

9:20

real eyes. It reminds me

9:21

of one good quality. I

9:22

I do have well, we're actually gonna find out right now

9:24

if you got another good quality. Other than

9:26

they will the pretty

9:27

get a pretty brown eye.

9:29

Show me your asshole. Show me your asshole. Right?

9:31

I snap your asshole right on this

9:33

table. Go

9:33

something. Slam your ass on this table and wipe

9:36

it across the table like a dog scratching his ass

9:38

in the carpet. Yeah. Don't be

9:39

a nerd. Be a door. Correct?

9:41

Yeah. I I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not giving

9:43

the fans what they want long

9:45

hands.

9:45

These fans don't want it. I want it.

9:47

Really, really just the ass hold on. Before

9:50

the bit, your girlfriend would be mad if

9:52

Chloe felt your cock and describe

9:54

the size of it for the

9:54

show. Before the bit. She

9:56

would be.

9:57

She would be mad. Don't be mad. She would be mad.

9:59

You need to break up with this controlling

10:01

woman. This is crazy

10:02

dude. She's out there fucking outlining you. You

10:05

do bed, dude. You gotta create comedy.

10:07

Yeah.

10:07

Yeah. I don't

10:08

got to create a comedy. This is your show. You got

10:10

to create a comedy. Friends,

10:11

place the reason. You have no electricity or

10:14

hot water. Don't don't fuck

10:16

this

10:16

up. That's

10:18

true. I'm

10:19

still in a house without well, I do have electricity,

10:21

but I don't have heat or hot water where I live. You still

10:23

don't have heat or hot water? No.

10:26

Almost two years now? Why?

10:28

Because I mean, it's a it's a

10:31

whole thing, but Choice. Basically,

10:33

it's a perfect living situation.

10:36

It's really not perfect. By the I mean,

10:38

as the definition of perfect It's

10:40

so strong.

10:40

Definition of perfect. True. Getting up

10:42

making a hot That is true. That is true. It

10:45

does

10:45

suck in the middle of the night when I gotta put a

10:47

park on to go downstairs to Pete.

10:49

But So how many roommates do you have? I have

10:51

two. Not

10:51

a perfect living situation. You're naming

10:54

I'm so many people.

10:54

Right. I gotta up my standards

10:56

for owning the

10:57

place would be also more perfect.

10:59

Bike. Your two

10:59

roommates bed bugs.

11:02

Practically. And I like to throw out There's

11:05

a bed bug in the bucket he shits it.

11:08

I do have

11:09

a bottle in my bed you know, I have a

11:11

space heater in my bedroom, and I do have a bottle that I

11:13

pee into. Okay.

11:14

So there's no

11:14

heat. No heat. there's no hot

11:17

water or no running water? No hot water. I

11:19

got water. You could take a cold shower. I can take

11:21

cold shower. You. I have. Yeah.

11:23

I to bathe, I I heat up I

11:25

mostly shower my girlfriends, but I also heat

11:27

up hot water in electric tea

11:29

kettles, and then I just pour them into a bucket and

11:31

I take a bucket bath.

11:32

You're a psycho.

11:33

That's literally crazy dude. But also, why

11:35

is it perfect? Now tell me what you mean. Let

11:37

me yeah. Let me get to why I was like it's

11:40

great is because I also don't

11:42

pay rent. So that's

11:44

pretty low

11:44

rent. I pay zero dollars and -- Not

11:46

worth

11:46

it. --

11:47

every here's the thing.

11:50

Every

11:50

woman is always like, I wouldn't do that. But many

11:52

men in particular, like

11:53

Many men men. Exactly. Men Oh,

11:56

and you're talking about And you know men

11:57

Many

11:58

men young. Yeah. A

11:59

young artist. A young

12:01

young ambitious.

12:02

Ambitious artists to take

12:05

that. Amphibious. Amphibious? Amphibious?

12:07

Some

12:07

sort of snakes or some wizards they

12:09

would love the yeah

12:10

be in that situation. No. They bathe more.

12:15

Because they are

12:15

cold blooded creatures, and I guess they don't really

12:17

care about hot water. Yeah.

12:20

But, yeah, would

12:20

you, at my age, you know, do you? I'm

12:23

thirty? At

12:23

your age. Oh, no. I had a child.

12:26

Yeah. Okay.

12:27

I wouldn't be in responsibility. I would not

12:29

be in a bucket bath. That's

12:32

true.

12:32

Zach? No. Damn

12:34

it.

12:35

I'm in Zach -- You

12:36

know what? -- the bad news because it's fun. Yeah.

12:38

I watched myself with a wreck, I must say.

12:43

Just a bucket of math does seem like a fun

12:46

way to do it.

12:46

Right? Yeah. Well, how do they have to

12:49

place? It's a it's a large,

12:51

like, brownstone. the see how do you see

12:53

your roommates every day?

12:55

Yes. Almost every

12:57

day, I would say. I see him. Yeah. Like,

12:58

do you, like, Then we

13:00

have two separate rooms. Like, you have to spend

13:03

together. Basically I could

13:04

wrap my head around this. Separate rooms.

13:07

Yeah. We

13:07

have separate rooms. I can wrap up

13:09

intervals in my one walls. Not

13:12

dividers. Actual actual

13:14

built

13:14

walls. Built walls? Can wrap my head around this

13:16

in my twenties.

13:16

And in fact, I'll let me go one further. Go

13:18

ahead, Luis. If you have a question. Well,

13:20

no. III do so

13:22

going further first. Basically, I

13:24

have the third floor. One room

13:26

is the second and the other has the first. Is

13:28

there electricity? There is. And it's a house. And

13:30

I'm not gonna try to flex on you. I also

13:32

have WiFi. Where is

13:33

it? It's in bedstie. It's

13:36

hot.

13:36

Yeah. It it's a it's

13:38

okay area. Yeah. So it's

13:39

coming up right now. Okay. So But it's a house like a

13:41

brownstone. It

13:42

is a brownstone. I've thrown comedy shows in the

13:44

house. It's

13:44

an entire floor to yourself.

13:45

Yes. How

13:46

did you come about this deal? Because by

13:48

the way, In my

13:50

twenties, in my deal.

13:52

It's a great deal. Look, I've lived

13:54

in some shitty places. I lived in the

13:56

one of my first apartments in New York City was in

13:58

the East village. Right? And I paid

14:00

for this place. It was eight hundred dollars a month, and

14:02

it was a basement apartment.

14:05

Mhmm. It wasn't a legal apartment. It was

14:07

simply this old man's basement

14:09

that he like I I

14:11

mean, the I couldn't I'm 61I

14:14

couldn't stand. My head had to go between

14:16

beams. It was like

14:16

beams. And when he would walk the

14:19

dust from the beams would fall all

14:21

over my belongings and my fucking mouth

14:23

when you're

14:23

sleeping. My mattress was on the floor at

14:26

a twin a mattress that, like, I that was just

14:28

literally sitting on the floor and it was

14:30

fucking and I paid for this. So and I

14:32

I my assumption would be that was a

14:34

worse situation. Even though I had typed

14:36

in that hot water, like, I just couldn't shower there. It

14:38

was just dust and soot covering

14:40

everything. So it was just a a

14:42

true

14:42

nightmare. So I fuck Jackson. Yeah. But you

14:43

pay for the location. You're in the East village.

14:46

It was at at the time,

14:48

like, now it's kinda cool, but at

14:50

the time it was, like, avenue

14:52

c, like, eighth Street. It wasn't there

14:54

was nothing that was really far from the subway.

14:56

Mhmm.

14:57

How

14:58

how would it feel to bring a girl back? And did

15:00

you feel like that made you have better

15:02

game? Because I brought this girl

15:04

Chloe back there once. I really did a girl

15:06

named Chloe. This girl named Chloe that I I used to

15:08

be friends

15:08

with.

15:09

We hooked

15:09

up for a little while. This bitch was a while. She

15:11

got drunk dude. One time we were in a cab.

15:14

Hell yeah.

15:14

And she got a hammer dude. She's like, I

15:16

gotta pee. And I was like, oh, yeah. We'll we'll be home in a few

15:18

minutes. She's like, no. I gotta pee right now. And

15:20

she just She's she's

15:22

squatted into

15:24

the the The

15:25

stock, but Yeah. You gotta remember yellow cab.

15:28

The bucket of the cab. The

15:30

bucket, what? Like the the

15:31

Like the thing you shower in a bucket.

15:33

The floor the floor of

15:35

a tab in the back has, like, a dip.

15:38

Right? Right. You've peed

15:40

in that divot. Sure, ma'am. No.

15:42

You have it. Moneys. Was it you? Was

15:44

this the same Chloe? No. You

15:46

peed in just the bottom of a cab.

15:48

Girls peed everywhere. Fucking

15:50

rants again. Fucking pee. That's fucking

15:52

disgusting. I remember being, like, III

15:54

saw fucked on that

15:54

night, but I was, like, that was it. I

15:56

know. That this is not going any further than that.

15:58

I mean, the camp probably spelled better.

16:00

It

16:00

was fucking false. And then I

16:03

remember just, like, looking at this pool

16:04

of liquid It would have been, like, hot water.

16:09

Talk to you, Brett. the

16:19

Shit. But you still fucked her. You still? Yeah. Of

16:21

course. Of course. Right? That bitch was crazy. But, yeah,

16:23

I brought her back to that place and we hooked

16:25

up. I think that was the only girl that I brought back to that

16:27

place and we hooked

16:27

up. How long did you live there? A

16:30

couple

16:30

months. Oh, okay. It was

16:32

My my my twenties was, like, really,

16:35

like, save up enough money for security

16:37

deposit in the first month's rent and

16:39

then spend the next three or four months not

16:41

being

16:41

evicted. Were

16:41

you stand were you doing stand up then?

16:43

No. No? What were you? Who was

16:45

Lewis?

16:46

It was a

16:47

comedy club ticket salesman. Really?

16:50

Oh, shit. Oh,

16:50

okay. Yeah. So I had a terrible apartment

16:53

once. There was this like it was seven

16:55

hundred dollars a month in Williamsburg, so I

16:57

thought it was a sick deal. But then there was this

16:59

thirty six year old Asian man who lived in the

17:01

living room. And

17:03

he was he was there all the

17:05

time, and I even do a joke about him now, but

17:07

he was, like, obsessed with recycling and he used

17:09

to start hysterically crying because I didn't

17:11

cycle? No.

17:12

Yeah. His

17:13

name was

17:14

Ying. Ying. Would

17:15

he take the cans? He

17:16

would just cry and I'd be like, I don't recycle. I'm

17:18

an alcoholic. Like, It's not gonna

17:21

happen. Probably because he saw how much you weren't

17:23

recycling, and he was, like, that's

17:25

that's the icecap smell thing. Yeah. And he

17:27

was,

17:27

like, if this girl's doing this, what else

17:29

is in

17:29

the world. You gave him a

17:29

lot of anxiety, though. You

17:30

know, it's not like Did you pay ying

17:32

the rent? Was he the your Yeah. He was

17:34

the landlord. Yeah. There was another girl

17:36

who lived there too. Ying.

17:38

Some hot, like, red head actress girl that it was,

17:41

like, twenty four lived there and me and then, yang in

17:43

the living room. It was, like,

17:45

our pimp, I

17:46

guess. Kinda. Yeah. But

17:48

So but that so hold on. How did you come into

17:51

this free situation? Yeah. I got a call from

17:53

one of my closest friends

17:55

and this is a couple years ago and she's a

17:57

sickest friend.

17:57

Like, how would you like to live in New York for free?

17:59

And I was Where were you

18:00

living at the time? I

18:02

was kinda in between

18:04

places because during the pandemic. This

18:06

is, like, right, like, I

18:07

guess, two years ago, and so I didn't really have

18:10

a place. I had been yeah.

18:12

But

18:12

like I was staying at friends and families

18:14

just like every month, I would just stay with

18:16

a different friend or family member. Yeah.

18:19

And so

18:20

But in

18:21

the New York area. No. Not

18:23

actually. No. So my sister in Virginia, my

18:26

brother in D. C. My parents

18:28

at Kansas City -- Oh. -- but in Atlanta. And

18:30

I would camp a little, not that much, but

18:32

I would camp a

18:34

little. It was pretty nice time, actually. And so when

18:36

I because this is It was damn near

18:38

perfect. I mean, it was

18:39

it was borderline the same. It was

18:41

kinda perfect, honestly. Yeah. It was a

18:43

huge step up. Yeah.

18:45

Yeah. I usually eat a can of beans every day on

18:47

the train tracks and warm

18:49

my hands by a garlic and fire. I was

18:51

like, it's great. Now, a

18:53

couple of buddies would think do up. I don't know if that was great. On

18:55

the train.

18:56

These are your living

18:57

standards. I'd like to see a picture of your girlfriend.

19:00

And she's a beautiful woman. Oh, she's My girlfriend

19:02

is gorgeous. She's perfect. She's perfect. She's

19:05

perfect. She's perfect. She's

19:08

perfect. It's just gird. It

19:10

looks like Zach in the way.

19:14

Yeah. But yeah. So I got the call. How would you like to

19:16

live in New York for

19:16

free? And I was like, I

19:17

mean, what is this? Fuck in the lottery? No

19:20

way. That's how I felt. Gotta be a cat. Understand.

19:22

Like, it's and the the catch

19:24

is really just and it sounds

19:26

I have to do a little bit of

19:28

work for the guy who owns a house every

19:30

month. So I hate to blow them. What the

19:32

no. I don't blow them, but That's like

19:34

a pool boy. And drop. Basically, it just went high. It

19:37

just seemed like a cheetah bikini in

19:39

a banana hammock. Where's that

19:40

hat to? Just

19:41

yeah. Yeah. No. All he all he has to do

19:44

is he has to let him masturbate

19:46

while he stares at his naked body. Yeah.

19:48

Absolutely.

19:48

I get to do the masturbate. What do you what do

19:50

you have to do for this So the Just

19:52

little odd jobs, paint walls,

19:55

change light bulbs, shovel snow,

19:57

mow

19:57

lawns. Just like kinda

20:00

bullshit

20:00

stuff. Live

20:00

in houseboy. And there's

20:02

a sex boy. But I don't not for the the

20:04

dude I've only met him once. Are

20:05

you allowed to do a slave voice?

20:07

Because that would be more worth it.

20:08

If I could just go about, oh, yes, sir. Massocile, you read

20:11

through these dishes. He's like, you don't have to

20:13

do that. You know,

20:15

Yes, Masa. Yeah. You're like, no. Why are you

20:17

adding that to Masa?

20:19

He's an old

20:20

judge now on my roommates all

20:23

the

20:23

time. Oh, Massa. He he turned

20:25

the heat down.

20:26

He's been

20:26

in front of

20:27

me. He don't be sitting in with that thermostat. Well,

20:29

we don't that's we don't have that

20:31

thermostat. So yeah. So we

20:32

ask

20:32

a question Yes. I'm just curious.

20:34

So if you're not paying for rent,

20:36

can't you just opt to

20:38

pay for heat and hot

20:39

water? Like, pay for rent?

20:41

Question change. That's

20:43

a great fuck

20:43

still. I have a feeling I know this. That

20:47

this situation would

20:50

be ruined. If

20:52

heat or hot water were assigned

20:54

to the house because it's

20:56

probably not designated

20:59

for Living.

21:00

Zach knows his shit.

21:01

That's good. Zachary

21:04

-- Street. --

21:04

wise, Zacavito. Yeah.

21:07

It's basically it. So basically, like,

21:09

the city doesn't formally

21:12

probably know that there are tenants in

21:14

the

21:14

building. So It's not

21:15

fit for occupancy. Here's basically it

21:18

is fit for occupancy. It's a really

21:20

nice place. Here's basically it, though. The

21:23

you know, a rich

21:26

land owning New Yorker who has many

21:28

places and me and my roommates which

21:30

are, you know, starving artists

21:32

are coming together to take advantage of

21:34

each other's situations to

21:37

ultimately exploit New York tax

21:39

code. So we don't

21:41

have heat because if we do, it

21:43

then has to formally

21:44

be known that there are tenants in

21:47

the building.

21:47

So why but who so nobody

21:50

pays rent to this place? No. The

21:52

guy owns the place. Yes.

21:54

But he probably pays property

21:57

taxes, but he pays probably

21:59

less property. I mean, you own, don't you own?

22:01

No. You don't own? No. Damn.

22:03

I thought you owned some shit. Loser.

22:06

You wanna move

22:06

in? You wanna move in, dude?

22:08

We got extra rooms.

22:10

No. I'm It'll kick their afternoon out. Yeah.

22:12

We'll kick things out. I'm in the process

22:15

of looking right now. Yeah. Yeah. And the

22:17

market the market sucks,

22:18

Dick, right

22:18

now. But I'm

22:19

whatever That's fun.

22:20

That's fun to say though. The market sucks.

22:23

That's why I want here's I wanna buy a

22:25

house. Right. But

22:28

I feel like it

22:31

just from a pure investment standpoint,

22:33

it's probably not the best time to buy it. I'll

22:35

probably buy your house at this investment. I'm buying your house so I

22:37

could raise your child then. Raise my

22:39

child in my own home. Right? So I'm

22:41

I'm a

22:41

little bit torn. People that know and

22:44

that like, buy property. They're like, yeah, do not buy it right now. Then I'm like,

22:46

I just wanna do it because I'm sick of fucking renting.

22:48

I hate, like, it doesn't feel like a home

22:50

now. Because I rent a house and, like, it's

22:52

a nice house. It just

22:54

doesn't feel like Anytime, like, I I don't really wanna, like,

22:57

go above and beyond, like --

22:59

Yeah. -- making great and,

23:01

like, Yeah. And it's just and I want I wanna fucking just

23:03

fucking put my flag in the ground

23:05

and say, this is my

23:06

shit. And now no one

23:07

can take this from me. Yeah.

23:10

Dave Smith just bought a house.

23:10

It's so jealous, beautiful house. Huge Where

23:13

where I don't wanna say his hometown.

23:15

Yeah. Where are you looking to buy by, though? Just

23:18

at Here's here's here's here's Jersey

23:19

County. So

23:20

That makes I don't know. Alright. Let's take a quick moment and

23:22

thank Fume for being back on the show.

23:24

We love Fume. One incredible sponsor, a long

23:26

time sponsor here in the Gas Digital Network. It

23:28

is a Canadian made handcrafted wooden

23:31

inhaler with no electronics and cores that are filled

23:33

with only the benefits of super plants

23:35

throughout the world. So there's no electronics no

23:37

harmful chemicals or nicotine. This

23:39

is a great way to kick the

23:41

smoking habit if you ask

23:41

me. Absolutely. Fume naturally

23:44

helps with the hand to mouth habit

23:46

and teen cravings, menthol cravings, and

23:48

the stress of

23:49

quitting. This thing absolutely rules that it comes

23:52

in really awesome flavor as

23:54

well.

23:54

They do. They the the the AquaCore is the most

23:56

popular one, and that's, like, black pepper

23:58

and then peppermint.

23:59

But they have a bunch of different ones with a lot

24:01

of different benefits. So go on to breathe

24:03

fume dot com. That's breathe FUM dot

24:05

com and check out there and quit naturally pack.

24:07

It comes with one fume and two

24:09

packs of concourse to get

24:11

you started on journey right now. And when you check out,

24:14

use the promo code wrap for ten

24:16

percent off your order today. Once again,

24:18

that's wreath fume dot com promo

24:20

code wrap for percent

24:21

off. Alright. Where were we? Yeah. There's a lot

24:23

there's a lot of really great stuff out there. But yeah.

24:26

Anyway, so do you wanna

24:27

buy the house, Simon? No. And then put

24:29

put me to work. Yeah.

24:31

Well, good for

24:34

you. I mean, I guess it's

24:35

it's perfect. Yeah. I I mean, perfect is a long is

24:38

a stretch, but I do feel like and

24:40

we actually did talk about it once in the podcast

24:42

before. I feel like I'm more enabled to just do

24:45

whatever I want and work on whatever I want. I

24:47

have to take less odd job gigs

24:49

because I

24:49

don't want

24:49

to rent. So it's like it's just a huge

24:52

overhead cost. I don't have

24:53

But

24:53

in the argument, we did have one episode

24:55

to remember this. Was

24:57

like, you were like, no, dude, you're not

24:59

gonna hustle because if you're acting against

25:01

the wall, you're you need you need

25:03

to set some goals It's

25:05

supposed to floating. Right? If you have a goal, like, every month,

25:07

I gotta come up with fifteen hundred bucks a month for

25:09

this apartment. I'm gonna lose it. You're gonna

25:11

naturally start doing that. Versus

25:14

sort of, like, floating because you

25:16

you were naturally designed to just

25:18

hit our goals. Right? We we we set goals in a month.

25:20

We set our goal, pay your rent. Pay your health

25:22

insurance, pay your cell phone bill. Right? And then

25:25

most of us -- I have to pay for WiFi. --

25:27

most of us at the end of that, we have no

25:29

money left over. We had just

25:31

enough to get by a a couple bucks at the

25:33

end of the month. Most of us aren't putting money

25:35

in saving. Most people aren't, you

25:38

know, aren't investing But

25:40

what that tells me and there there's a reason that

25:42

ninety percent of America's house broke,

25:44

meaning that they they make enough just enough

25:46

money to survive all it me that are all hitting

25:48

our fucking goals. We're just setting a specific

25:51

goal every month. So if you expand

25:53

that further, and you

25:55

sort of think of that

25:55

concept, you know, the sky's the fucking

25:58

limit. You're limiting yourself by

26:00

having a shit goal, which

26:02

live for free in AAAA

26:04

heatless apartment. But my counterargument

26:06

is, like, if you are

26:09

self motivated then you don't have to do

26:11

bullshit. You can actually do what you

26:13

want. And and

26:15

when it comes to work, I'm

26:16

like, I work a lot. Like, I love

26:18

working in comedic stuff and writing. Do you wanna

26:20

work towards hot showers?

26:22

That's

26:22

exactly what what I am working

26:25

towards. Is like Are you putting a limit on when you're

26:27

gonna get there? Or you're just gonna stay here? Well, honestly,

26:29

my dream

26:29

is to buy the house one day. I think that'd be a

26:31

really cool, like, poetic artistic thing to

26:34

do. Like,

26:34

iconic. Yeah.

26:35

That's psychotic. To buy the house and

26:38

cash, I bet you's not that

26:40

nice of house. It's a pretty nice house.

26:42

Mhmm. You're welcome. You

26:44

want me to Come on. Come on. I will come

26:46

over. Come on. I'm gonna I'm gonna punch

26:48

your Jude Lam or right in his face for

26:50

fucking

26:50

I'll do that. I met him once.

26:52

He was sweet. He's basically He only

26:55

met

26:55

the guy one time. Yeah.

26:56

Where do you get

26:57

the request from? There's something

26:59

else going on here that you don't know

27:02

about. There's not. There's another angle

27:04

here. My yeah.

27:04

There's like a Japanese cam sight.

27:07

It's like boys. Watch them live.

27:10

Live like loser.

27:15

Shannon, don't look up those reports. No. If I could pull

27:17

that up. You're part of something

27:18

bigger than you. I

27:19

I suppose so. Yeah. There's somebody

27:22

watching eighty five monitors of

27:24

different

27:24

had browns filled Yeah. It's a it's a

27:26

Truman show. It's a thing. Yep. We're not that interesting,

27:28

though, is the

27:29

thing. Yeah.

27:30

Just watching me podcasts. On my

27:32

laptop? Is that that fascinating for

27:34

people?

27:34

Maybe. I

27:35

don't know. Yep. What they're watching right

27:37

now?

27:37

Yeah. You're you're right. Literally,

27:40

what they're watching right now. I

27:42

suppose

27:43

Let's do plugs real

27:46

quick. And we have a lot to

27:48

talk about on today's show. We're show. We're just opening

27:50

up. Fuck it. Strong. It's fucking getting into it.

27:52

Why not, dude? Is that real? Which plug

27:54

it

27:54

on? Yeah. I I would say I've

27:57

an hour special on YouTube. I'll also say I'm headlining in

27:59

Kansas City at a club called Barrel

28:01

of The Bottoms, December

28:04

twenty eighth. So you can go

28:06

to my Instagram and get tickets there also in Pennsylvania

28:09

this Saturday the

28:11

eighteenth, I think that is. So just on my Instagram, you

28:13

can get tickets or message me.

28:15

And then lastly, I'm gonna be

28:17

in an off Broadway play that

28:19

I've mentioned on the show before in

28:21

probably March or April

28:23

race the movie to play. It's a spoof

28:26

of corny race movies that are trying to

28:28

win Oscars. So just keep an eye

28:30

out. If you see it, get tickets. We had a really

28:32

good run at the New York County Festival frost

28:34

helped and it was really

28:35

good. So those are my plugs. Thank you

28:37

for

28:37

listening. Oh, yeah. Clearly,

28:39

LaBranche. I have my

28:42

Instagram news show news for women, and then you

28:44

can just thought,

28:44

man, it's, you know. I guess I

28:46

have

28:46

Twitter. Zach,

28:48

let me go. Just check out one of the two podcasts here on

28:50

the network. Buy guys with Ian Finance and

28:53

Zacfonico's midnight book show over

28:55

Friday at midnight here on the gas digital

28:57

network.

28:58

Yeah. A lot of live stuff coming up. This

29:01

weekend, we I think we have tickets left for one show. All

29:03

the other ones are sold out because we just added a

29:05

Friday late Show Yuck Yuck's the sixteenth and

29:07

seventeenth Friday Saturday. The New Year's

29:09

Eve, we also just added an early

29:11

show because the late show, I believe, is sold

29:13

out now. But myself, Dave Smith, Zac Cameco,

29:15

Cracker Cameco, Karen Fean,

29:17

Maddie Smith, calm turtled, what a crazy

29:19

lineup is gonna be on the comedy

29:21

store, New Year's Eve Los

29:23

Angeles, taken over Los Angeles New York comedy scene.

29:25

Then January fifth or seventh, I'll be at the

29:27

DC comedy law with great Zac Mico.

29:31

Phoenix coming up Bloomington,

29:33

Minnesota, Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio.

29:35

I'll be in Boston with Big j.

29:37

I'll be at Foxwood Casino

29:40

as well. The theater with Big j as well. The beginning

29:42

of February, St. Luke's Funny Bone Day. She

29:44

answered me a favorite email, I need to remind me to

29:46

change that date. It's been moved to April fifteenth

29:48

weekend. So lots more stuff coming up.

29:50

Subscribe at gases on network

29:52

dot com. Use the promo code RAP get a seventy

29:54

free trial. It's an access to the on demand library for

29:56

this show and all the other shows here on the

29:58

network thousands of hours of content

30:00

that are not available anywhere else

30:02

the entire world, all ad free, all in uncensored, all

30:04

in one place, access to the racist live

30:06

chat. Holy shit. Follow me on twitch twitch

30:08

twitch dot tv slash pure rattles

30:11

Right now, the first three people to

30:13

stream snipe me in war zone. And

30:15

stream snipe me, identify

30:16

yourself, and kill

30:19

me. You

30:19

would have

30:19

prepared for all access gang for the tickets.

30:21

What is

30:22

that? That's where

30:23

they they can time it. We're like, I'm Warzone, you

30:25

know, it's like Battle Royale. You're like Sorry. Call of

30:27

Duty. Yeah. Yeah. Call of Duty ever man for

30:29

themselves. Right? So they could time it to get into my

30:32

lobby, and then they can find me in the

30:34

map. And there's there's

30:36

proximity chat. So if you're near me, you'd be like, hey, Lewis. I'm coming

30:38

for you. And I'm like, oh, fuck you, bitch. And then

30:40

I run then I run away from you or if I kill

30:42

you. It was over. Don't anyone think it's yet.

30:44

But Can you

30:45

kill yourself? Can you, like, shoot No. I

30:47

promise myself. I promise that I wouldn't kill myself. I

30:50

said I could run, but I can't kill myself. Right.

30:52

Just hold nigga. Yeah. We're

30:53

on. Google. We're gonna do you

30:55

shop up a

30:55

billboard. Get those tickets. Yeah.

30:58

Stream tonight,

30:59

Lewis.

30:59

Streams that may be please try. You could fucking

31:01

try. Are

31:02

you good at those games? I'm

31:04

okay at the new war zone. I'm I was

31:06

pretty good at the first one. I got good. And then

31:09

Yeah. Now I'm okay. They've changed everything up. Are

31:11

they still good? Like, I played Call of Duty, like,

31:13

you know, like, I don't

31:14

know, eight,

31:15

ten years ago, and it was a great game, but they

31:17

it feel like they have a new one every six

31:20

months. Like, are they what is They're

31:22

I don't ever play Call of Duty. So it's

31:24

Call of Duty Warzone. Right? That's what

31:26

I play. And Warzone is the Battle

31:28

Royale version of that. So it's

31:31

me, I drop in. There's a hundred and fifty

31:33

other dudes. We're all trying to fucking murder

31:35

each

31:35

other. Last man standing wins.

31:37

It's very multiplayer

31:39

game. Well, let's just say it's it's

31:41

very rewarding. If you win that game, I

31:43

mean, you fucking crawl through a mile

31:46

of shit. You come out on the other side, I've been a new man. Alright. I've

31:48

only won one I gave in the new season.

31:50

Oh, shit. Congratulations. How'd

31:52

you feel? It was great. Yeah. Was that your

31:54

proudest achievement today? Maybe

31:56

Shannon, he didn't look up my twitch

31:57

channel. Somebody probably clipped my win, my first

31:59

win. Shannon was like,

32:02

this sucks.

32:05

It's fun that this is

32:07

your lily pad of power and you can make

32:09

us watch you in. Type of slow because

32:12

she's masturbating with the other hand. The team

32:13

meant talking about Call of Duty. Yeah. She loves

32:16

it. In the meantime,

32:18

Shannon, why don't we

32:19

well,

32:19

you found

32:19

it? Well, I don't really under

32:22

and how Twitch works. Do you see the thing that you're looking for? Just go

32:24

to hit videos.

32:27

Right? Did somebody clip it and go to recent

32:30

highlights and upload. Let's see what

32:32

is say Lewis, here's a strange sound.

32:34

Lewis, here's a strange sound. Is

32:36

it the old one? These are old these

32:38

are popular

32:39

clips? Real ass Santa.

32:41

What's

32:41

that? Click on it. I don't even know what it is. These are

32:44

clips that people

32:45

make. I

32:46

don't know why there's no

32:49

sound.

32:51

I don't I

32:53

don't know.

32:55

I was

32:57

just some example. I'm

33:00

getting better with this Snipe Dipe.

33:03

I love that your science has realized,

33:05

Doug.

33:08

They're playing out there much. Yeah.

33:09

They're fun. I didn't even know this stuff existed. What's

33:11

the next one? Let's do an

33:13

hour one. Let's watch

33:15

an hour stream. Let's

33:19

see.

33:20

You didn't

33:23

get in the space

33:24

right now. Let's

33:28

see. It's another snipe. Lewis is going through

33:30

war. I love

33:30

it. I think I

33:31

just added another criteria to my

33:34

dating.

33:34

Well, they

33:34

can't play everybody else. They have to be good

33:36

They can't play You can't give up the club. You

33:38

can't be in an asshole. What

33:39

is this clip? Why is this person clipping

33:41

this? Shannon,

33:43

how long is

33:44

it? It's

33:45

almost over it. That was it. Oh, I clicked on it. That

33:47

was money. That

33:47

was a good clip.

33:49

That's a furious. That was a great hiding

33:51

in a room. You

33:52

didn't even say one joke, you didn't have a

33:55

reaction. I think

33:55

that was crazy. That is a personalized. Obsessed

33:58

with you. Alright. Wednesday

34:01

afternoon. Someone It's called

34:02

Venus.

34:02

And it's

34:02

called, you know, it was like, we got a channel. We got it. The

34:04

other time

34:05

I went up there, but I did a board win. It was very rewarding.

34:07

I believe

34:07

you. Yeah.

34:08

I believe

34:09

you. Thanks. Pointless online games

34:11

are all rewarding. Yeah.

34:13

Why not? Just disconnect from fucking reality a little bit.

34:15

You what do you do, Chloe, to

34:17

disconnect from reality? Academy.

34:20

I started doing

34:23

ketamine

34:23

therapy. Did you really? Yeah. What's

34:25

that like? It's crazy. You basically just pay a

34:27

doctor to go into a

34:30

k And you could tell them how much ketamine you wanna

34:32

do. So they inject it with a needle.

34:33

They inject it, so

34:34

do you don't have to snort anything? No.

34:38

And what was

34:39

it? You're always a good time. You're

34:41

in the hospital, dude? No. You're

34:43

in, like, a therapist office in

34:45

a ketamine lounge room. And

34:47

Is it relaxing the room? Yeah. It's chill. It smells nice. Yeah. It

34:49

smells fine. But then, like, I they

34:51

gave me the ketamine, and then they're, like, are

34:53

you feeling anything?

34:56

And I was like, you're drug addict. I was like, I could feel nothing. More.

34:58

And then they gave me more and I went

35:00

into a cave whole and I started throwing

35:02

up. And I I was,

35:04

like, I couldn't film my I was touching my face. And

35:06

I was, like, do I even have a

35:07

nose? And I was, like, am I ever gonna be able

35:10

to

35:10

do that? That this is

35:12

not like,

35:12

just you getting hired or No. I loved it anyway. When I

35:13

said to

35:14

the doctor, I was, like, I think I'm the most fucked up

35:16

person at the party, and he was, like, you

35:20

know, person

35:20

here. I don't know.

35:21

Did your insurance pay for this?

35:22

I paid out of pocket. How

35:24

much was it?

35:25

This place is cheap. It's

35:27

like two fifty for

35:29

for one of these, but you if you do it with a

35:31

therapist, it's seven fifty. Seven hundred and

35:33

fifty dollars. Yeah. But

35:34

without a therapist, that's

35:35

two fifty

35:37

Well, I

35:37

don't I did it without a therapist, so I'm just basically

35:39

on my own journey. You're

35:40

just doing ketamine.

35:41

I'm just doing ketamine. I'm a majority of that. No.

35:43

This

35:43

is also not cheap for ketamine. Can get you

35:46

ketamine. Do you get ketamine?

35:47

Well, for ketamine therapy. Well, where's

35:49

what's the what makes

35:50

it better? What makes it

35:51

better? It is the purest ketamine, like, it's

35:54

different than street k. It is the purest

35:56

ketamine I've ever done in my

35:57

life. Like, I did I I did a lot of k

35:59

during the

36:00

pandemic. Yeah. Like, I was in a k hole in

36:02

another k hole, and so I came

36:04

up with my new show. Is

36:06

oh, really? Yeah.

36:07

You'll sometimes have creative ideas.

36:09

You just

36:09

have ideas. So

36:12

hold on now. Yeah. How much does Kevin mean

36:14

if you I've never I don't think I've ever purchased Kevin.

36:16

It's like buying bag of blow. It's like a hundred a bag. A hundred

36:18

bucks for a

36:19

bag. Yeah. That'll get you high all night. Well, you

36:21

just

36:21

do little bumps. Like, I use No. I've done

36:23

it. I've

36:24

done that.

36:24

Yeah. And you you put out you know, when

36:26

you

36:27

put up What a good time on Canopy. That the highest I've ever been There's

36:29

a lot of Canopy

36:29

and Scank Fest. Yeah. Academy was all over the

36:31

places. Scank Fest. I

36:34

was thinking molly and ketamine --

36:36

Mhmm. -- together, just a bump of molly up

36:38

one

36:38

nostril, bump a k up, the other one with this chick one

36:40

night, dude. And

36:41

we got fucking wonky. Like, to

36:42

the point where I was like, I was like, oh, I'm gonna die tonight too.

36:44

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

36:45

It's actually gonna happen. Like, I was sweating. I

36:47

was shaking. My harpy was

36:49

like, I was watching her morph into different creatures and

36:51

animals, and it was fucking wild. Ketamine's a

36:53

great drug and It worked for you. I'm not

36:55

there's

36:55

a sad story, Chloe. You're not hearing anything from

36:57

you. Never ways. I almost

37:00

died. That was the first

37:02

plot for

37:04

you. Yeah. But you would you

37:06

vouch for it. I feel like you can can they

37:08

just say therapy and now it's, like, good

37:10

for you. Now they're just gonna start MDMA

37:12

therapy, so Molly Therapeutics

37:15

are

37:15

starting.

37:15

The most pure moly, do they inject it? I don't know. They

37:17

they also do the ketamine therapy with

37:20

IVs too, but I did it with

37:22

a needle and they just shot it

37:24

in my

37:24

Right.

37:24

Cheaper. Right? It was so

37:25

intense. Like, within a minute, you're, like,

37:28

just losing it. Saying

37:29

And I had Spotify on there. I got to

37:31

listen to music. And

37:33

the guy's yelling on the megaphoning. He's like, stop texting

37:36

Chloe. Like, I can't

37:38

keep

37:38

up. I'm like, dude, I'm fucked. Come

37:42

over. You're

37:43

great. Invited a guy. When was this? Like a month

37:45

ago?

37:45

This

37:45

morning. Yeah. So but

37:46

no. Here's the thing about ketamine. And

37:48

when you do ketamine, there's no comedown.

37:52

This is why ketamine, it's a dangerous drug for me

37:55

because one of the reasons I don't

37:57

do drugs is because I don't have the

37:59

day to give up. Yeah.

38:02

If I could just get fucked up and I if if if I if

38:04

Coker Molly didn't, like, fuck me up the

38:06

next day. Mhmm. And it's not like

38:08

it's not like I'm, like,

38:11

depressed or it's something that it's I'm

38:14

physically drained. Like -- Oh,

38:15

it's -- everything hurts like still

38:17

haunted. IIII puking. I end

38:20

up like it's just like the hangover of,

38:22

like, hard drugs mixed with alcohol

38:24

because it's never just drugs and I start drinking

38:26

with it as well. I don't I

38:28

never have that day. To, like, I got a

38:30

kid. I got businesses. I got a career. I'm

38:32

traveling. I got a lot of shit going on.

38:34

So to to sit in a fucking bed

38:36

and not do anything all day is sounds like a

38:37

nightmare. I'll start get that will make me very depressed. So,

38:39

like, Coke sucks. All you do

38:41

is, like, people just, like, do Coke and,

38:43

like, just tell secrets.

38:46

Yeah. And you just I started making up secrets because I run out,

38:48

you know. This wasn't Coke. Well,

38:52

acid

38:53

is great. You don't have to come

38:56

down from that. But you have to give up eight to ten hours of your life and you have

38:58

to be willing to face the devil.

39:01

a lot. Chloe,

39:02

it's a lot. What did your personal

39:04

devil look like? I think the devil's probably

39:06

hot. Yeah. The devil

39:07

he's he's

39:09

hot. I'll just fucking ass. Yeah. I

39:11

was It's fine with me. Yeah.

39:13

The devil is definitely yeah. You're right.

39:15

He can fuck. You've

39:17

got a piece of cop to it. It's

39:19

got a horn. Some some reason she loves it. Oh, and he's, like, five sec. Oh, like,

39:21

bad. I was picturing me. That's

39:23

tall. Well, for Jesus signs,

39:25

it's pretty tall. But

39:28

you saw the devil. When I say

39:30

saw the devil, it's really when

39:32

I do acid or mushrooms, I'm

39:36

saying, like, figuratively speaking.

39:38

Like, I I go into a dark place

39:40

at any given time that I do mushrooms

39:42

or acid. There's going to be a point where I either feel self

39:44

conscious. Mhmm. I feel I

39:46

don't wanna be doing it. I feel bad. I

39:48

start thinking about lies that I've told,

39:50

people that

39:52

I've heard. That I'm doing wrong on my life, and it becomes self

39:54

reflective. And that's a journey that I

39:56

go on. At the end of it, I go, you know what? I have to be

39:58

a better person. I I come to

40:00

the

40:00

realization. I have to be better person. Right?

40:02

That's sort of, like, my generic every time I

40:04

And

40:04

you see a hot girl and you're like fuck that. Yeah.

40:06

Fuck that shit. Listen

40:07

to me. Look that

40:09

good person stuff.

40:11

This comes

40:11

off acid like epineas or

40:14

scrooge. Boy, what day is today?

40:16

It's so

40:18

shelley's apple there. Oh, your family is the biggest

40:22

bird. Shannon,

40:27

you can have Christmas down. Shannon

40:29

is Bob Crish

40:32

here.

40:33

We're gonna fix kill

40:35

his legs. They put my

40:38

mics

40:38

like God bless us

40:41

everyone. He stays the

40:43

wall. And you're getting vision. Oh

40:46

my god. The thing is

40:47

like, Mike is trying to do.

40:49

Oh, man. It's so

40:52

fucking funny. Yeah.

40:54

I think that ketamine therapy

40:56

sounds

40:56

expensive. Yeah. That's a

40:59

cheap version of it.

41:01

What's it what's an expensive version of it? With

41:03

the therapist is another five hundred.

41:05

Seven fifty, but that's even cheap, like, to do it

41:07

with therapist other places. What thousand? Do they

41:09

add to the experience? I

41:11

wouldn't hold their hand. I wouldn't know.

41:14

Yeah. We gotta Just start to go fund

41:15

me. Fuck. Just

41:16

the purity of the academy is why you would

41:18

recommend it. If you have the money, you say

41:20

you recommend. Well,

41:21

also because I'm sober. So it's

41:22

a loophole. You're not sober. That that

41:25

That's a loophole. That

41:27

doesn't count. That's That's what I call

41:29

you when you're not around a loophole. Bit of

41:30

a loophole. You're

41:31

a loophole. I'm

41:31

a loophole. You're a loophole. I have a loophole.

41:33

Listen. That's not a loophole.

41:35

You're doing drugs. Because

41:38

you're paying more

41:39

money for that. Yeah. Yeah. You just

41:40

you're injecting a it's not even like you're fucking

41:42

I feel like it's it's

41:46

drugs. Yeah. It's

41:46

a harder drug then. But

41:47

is that sort of kiss I

41:49

made a science fair tornado

41:50

with a vodka bottle up my ass. I wouldn't

41:52

say I'm not drinking. So

41:55

but it's because it's it's it

41:57

is expensive and you know you can't do that every

41:59

day. You're like, well,

42:01

that'll treat myself. Well, this is

42:04

you're supposed to do it four to

42:06

seven times for it to work, and it's actually

42:08

supposed to help with

42:09

addiction, which is weird because after I did

42:11

it, I was like, all I want is

42:13

more ketamine. Right. But you

42:14

have to do it four to five more times. Yeah.

42:16

Which sounds like you've done

42:19

it three times. So

42:20

they just tell you you have to hit the six to not be addicted. But what

42:23

is I don't understand what so you're not with

42:25

a therapist. And what way could that

42:27

possibly help with except for

42:30

make you want to do more

42:31

drugs. That's

42:31

what I'm thinking right now. Like, there's not like it's not

42:34

I I we also understand if there

42:36

was like a fucking

42:38

ketamine sherpa guide that's bringing you on

42:40

some sort of journey and it's, you know, in talking

42:42

to you and making come to realizations that you don't need

42:44

certain things and you're a certain mindset because you're

42:46

on

42:47

ketamine. Sure. You know, we I you hear

42:49

about they were doing that

42:52

with SPEARMolecule. DMT.

42:54

DMT. And they were doing, like, they were

42:55

doing therapy with it, and they would, like, give

42:57

it to, like, you know, terminally ill

43:00

people or a parent that just lost

43:02

their child. And then they would go

43:04

on a, you know, a therapist would sit down with them. They

43:06

would do DMT. They would talk to them. And

43:08

then they would they would, you know, get

43:10

through it emotionally and mentally. They would go through

43:12

a whole you

43:12

know, journey and be

43:13

able to deal with these

43:13

things in the other side of it. That's interesting because DMT

43:15

is supposed to give you the you for

43:17

the same feeling you feel at birth

43:20

and death.

43:21

That's, like, one of the things that's worth it. Interesting

43:23

that they give it to people who are

43:25

dying.

43:25

Yeah. Would you

43:27

do Ayahuasca? No.

43:30

You wouldn't go on, like, one of those retreats? also heard so many things

43:32

about

43:33

it, like, you know, you do it, you puke.

43:35

Like, they they give me, like, sludge.

43:37

I heard you puke. I'm

43:39

not it's not worth it to me. I I

43:42

it's also I looked at that this morning

43:44

on on group number

43:46

three. Yes,

43:48

ma'am. The the journey

43:50

isn't worth it for me because I'm also

43:52

at forty years Raybould. It's

43:55

too late for you. Well,

43:58

I no longer believe in the

44:00

spiritual side of

44:00

it. So when I was a

44:02

kid, I would take mushrooms, acid, whatever. Right? Yeah.

44:04

And I would I

44:07

would convince myself that

44:10

they're alternative realms and universes and parallel universes

44:12

and you'd you'd you'd you'd you'd it's

44:14

almost like when you look at a magic eye book, you

44:16

have to, like, let your eyes see it. Right?

44:19

Mhmm. You would let yourself get there,

44:21

like, with psychate psychedelics. And I was a

44:23

dumb, you know, pod head kids. So I was like, yeah, man.

44:25

It's a fucking, you know, we're all one, lightest

44:28

dark, but but, like, all that horse

44:30

shit. Right? But as an adult now,

44:32

I've taken enough drugs. I know it's

44:34

just, you know, I'm seeing the wall

44:36

melting because is a drug in my head and it's making me think that Yeah.

44:38

It's much more synthetic and it's

44:40

not like this eye opening

44:42

spiritual awakening

44:44

It's literally me going like, oh, I'm actually just putting a poison under

44:46

my body to escape reality. It's

44:49

not giving me any insight on

44:51

reality in any way. For

44:54

me, By the way, I'm saying people can take hallucitogens

44:56

and use it and help

44:58

themselves and become insightful. Right? So

45:01

if you believe it, it's the same way if you read a self help

45:03

book, it motivates you to go fucking sort

45:05

of

45:05

business. The book worked. Right? I see a

45:08

psychic. Yeah.

45:08

You're right. A psychic. Maybe maybe that motivate you to

45:10

change your behaviors or whatever else it is. Right? It's sort of what it

45:13

it's it's it's just what you get out of

45:14

it. It's what you get out of it. Right? And but the magic is

45:16

dead for you. The magic has done it before and

45:19

you're like, this guy just wants my money and these

45:21

chemicals just make my brain do

45:23

this. Exactly. So it's that

45:26

that that lure is sort

45:28

of gone. So if I were to do

45:30

drugs, it's literally because I want to physically is that even a psychological

45:32

thing? I wanna physically, like, feel like,

45:35

you know, you the euphoric feeling of Molly or whatever

45:37

else it is. But the once

45:40

again, the the payoff of that

45:42

feeling for that night

45:45

isn't worth the next step. Oh, yeah. For every

45:47

up, there's a down. Yeah. And also, not for other

45:49

than even when I'm on drugs, the

45:51

last few times that I

45:53

did blow were Molly, While I was

45:55

doing it, I was like, I don't like the way that I feel on it, even

45:57

the high. I'm not like enjoying it.

45:59

Like, I'm I'm made

46:01

me anxious. It made me sort of, like, angry. You

46:04

don't like to be out of control. Yeah.

46:05

See, I

46:06

I like being out of control.

46:08

That's why I I why drink. Yeah.

46:10

Some people, like, don't like to

46:12

get fucked up because they they lose their

46:14

control feeling of things, but I'm

46:17

the opposite. You

46:18

wanna lose control? Yeah. Why do you wanna lose control? Why do you I just think it's I

46:20

just

46:21

think it's more fun. It's a fun experience. And not

46:23

no. Wear the

46:25

like, where

46:25

can what

46:26

how chaos is gonna bring

46:27

you to this

46:27

next I

46:29

thrive in chaos.

46:30

I think, yeah, you what's good? It's a psychological

46:32

thing. You can. People can

46:34

thrive in chaos. If you're like, dude, I like, I

46:36

like, I kinda thrive in chaos. Right?

46:38

I like I like Right. Chaotic childhood

46:40

because I'm one of seven kids. So it's like, it's

46:42

what I like. Yeah. He's like chaos.

46:45

Not. Do any other siblings

46:48

do? You ever gone on a k

46:50

hole with another

46:52

No. Are they all No

46:54

one

46:55

wants to do

46:55

drugs with me. Her family doesn't talk to her. No. I'm

46:58

talking about.

47:02

Yeah. III don't like losing

47:04

control of, like, my my

47:06

facilities like that. I like

47:08

being

47:08

in, like, a chaotic state.

47:10

Like, I like sort of, like, coming in and and,

47:12

you know, it's finally collaborating with people. Right? We work

47:14

on all these businesses, and I I collaborate with a

47:16

lot of people, whether it's on podcasts,

47:19

behind the scenes on on various

47:21

projects. And I love the

47:23

idea of all of these different people from

47:25

different backgrounds and and that have

47:27

different experiences coming together and banging

47:30

into each other and, like, the universe

47:32

also bounces into each other. You know, think about

47:34

this. You know, I hate to I'm I'm high, but,

47:36

you know, We, right now, think about how fucking incredible it is

47:38

that we're all sitting here at this exact moment.

47:40

We could be anywhere, dude. You were

47:42

in Atlanta. You're on a fucking

47:44

couch in Idaho. You were fucking infectious.

47:46

You're all you could literally be anywhere. That phone

47:48

call happened one day. You answer the call. You're

47:50

on the fucking

47:52

realized podcast. We have to appreciate the relationship that we have right now in the world

47:54

because literally you could be in an

47:56

infinite amount of other places. Mhmm. That's

47:58

the truth. You know, and you

48:00

and you start to appreciate relationships more. You

48:02

start to appreciate your situations more when you

48:04

realize that fuck dude. I can literally be in a

48:06

fucking ditch right now in Africa. That's that's

48:08

where the wind could have taken me, you

48:09

know. Thank you for

48:11

this opportunity. You're you're welcome.

48:12

That's what I'm saying. I'm really just pat myself on that

48:14

for sure. Bye. Yeah. When I get

48:16

a call up from Shannon, I come through. God damn right

48:18

you do. When I

48:19

get that call that that African dick

48:19

is available,

48:22

you bring all your kenneth.

48:26

Real quick, let's take a moment. I thank yolked him dot com for being a long time sponsor on

48:28

the show. Yolked him dot com is home of the

48:30

sixty dollar kilos. So if you guys are over the age of twenty one years

48:32

old and you were in the market for

48:35

Kraydom, you gotta get it directly from your creative dot com.

48:38

Absolutely. Stop going to

48:40

Bodega's smoke shops or gas stations. For a

48:42

little bit of creative at

48:44

a time, when you could get an

48:46

entire kilo delivered right to your gosh darn door for just sixty

48:48

smackers, it's the best

48:50

deal you are gonna

48:52

find. Yeah. It

48:54

is. It's great now. Yolked them dot com. That's the

48:56

website. Do it, and there's no promo code

48:58

because they have the best price already on the Internet

49:00

for krayam. So just go there and if

49:03

you let them know the realest podcast sent you, you a little special gift.

49:05

Alright. Where were we?

49:06

Zach, what is this dog that you want me

49:10

to get? 0II

49:10

found the dog for your your favorite for you. But the opposite. Yep. I still need to look

49:13

at the here's the What is it? I'm spending too

49:15

much money this holiday season. I need

49:17

a free puppy. What do you think? I don't

49:19

care what type of dog it is. You got a free puppy

49:22

or or You have to have your

49:24

fans.

49:24

You Come on. Right? If you just say

49:26

I want a free post office, there's gotta be some fan.

49:28

Mine is under six hundred

49:29

dollars. I'm gonna say a month, my

49:31

niece is a brat. She doesn't

49:33

deserve good things. I'm on spending three thousand dollars on a fucking

49:35

call. It's a backstory. Willis was on his

49:37

way to get a dog for his

49:39

niece -- Mhmm. -- sent the video

49:41

to assist

49:42

her. Let's just say, we don't want

49:44

that little shit

49:45

dog. Yeah. Sure. I want a big so

49:47

I

49:47

found the dog for your

49:48

family. Let's see

49:49

it. Tibetan mastiff. To bat

49:51

mess. This is a big dog. So let's take a look. Tell me what you think. I'm gonna

49:52

show you a puppy first. Let's

49:53

see how cute. Oh my

49:56

god.

49:56

It's a dog. How cute this thing is.

49:59

Right? Now it's so

50:02

cute. So I want to

50:04

do that not

50:05

initiation today

50:06

because I think it's a while.

50:08

That's all for

50:08

good protectors. I've

50:09

yeah. I would hope so. I think

50:12

this is I think get them the the

50:14

puppy version.

50:15

In the puppy. Right. Right. And then just go,

50:17

he's gonna get a little big, but he's what are

50:19

you looking for? He's gonna grow

50:21

a little bit. It's a bear. No.

50:23

I'm the first puppy that comes into my fucking ice eye line now. I'm just getting to

50:25

my dumb fucking me. Okay. Well, if you see

50:26

honestly, tell you, that's

50:27

not a beautiful animal. Seen a can you look

50:29

at Bernie's

50:31

Mountain Dog Those

50:32

are those are

50:33

my That's what my

50:33

sister has. Bernice's are There was

50:35

a very very looking for them. You

50:37

could probably rescue

50:39

one. You can go, like, use Google. So I don't know if

50:41

Bryce is not talking

50:42

about You can Google, like,

50:43

Bernie's Mountain Dog Rescue. I don't know

50:46

if it's I

50:46

bet you that they do people get rid

50:47

of them but

50:49

they're very they're the man. They're attractive.

50:51

They're

50:51

so so my sister has a baby and

50:54

Wow.

50:54

Yeah. It's a Manitoba. Yeah. No.

50:57

No. It's not. It is. Beethovens

51:00

are Saint Bernard's. Yeah.

51:01

They tell no. They tell the time right away.

51:04

Animal. To Beethoven.

51:04

Thank you, Beethoven. That is

51:05

it. They're

51:06

really good with babies. My sister's baby lays

51:08

on the dog. It's crazy. Now

51:10

we're just

51:11

looking at ourselves. That's a top shelf

51:14

dog. Wow. Look at these adorable. Wait.

51:16

Bring that back up.

51:17

What's it called? A Bernese

51:19

Mountain dog. Bernese or Bernese?

51:22

Bernese.

51:22

There are eight eight hundred to eighteen hundred.

51:24

If you got it named it Bernese Sanders,

51:26

That's funny. How cute.

51:28

He's eight hundred bucks? Eight be depending on

51:30

the breeder, eight hundred to eighteen hundred. Alright.

51:33

Give me one.

51:34

They're the sick of this. They're the nicest best dogs ever. They're very

51:36

sweet. I don't even

51:37

know what to get my I don't know what to get

51:39

anybody for Christmas. Just go

51:41

to the pound. The

51:43

downtown. She doesn't wanna rescue. Don't tell

51:46

him it's a rescue even if it's, like, seven

51:48

years old and has one eye.

51:50

a puppy.

51:50

It's a rescue. Stole it. Yeah.

51:52

Yeah. I I

51:53

mean, what do you wanna say? My

51:56

sister's life is in shambles, and she wants to bring

51:58

another soul into her

51:59

life. Just doesn't really make sense. That's

52:00

gonna be all expensive to have dogs. Yeah. It's expensive

52:02

and it's also a lot of work. Well, I want

52:04

them a a big dog as well. You're bringing

52:06

it to the dog

52:07

park, gonna run totally. Little dog, it's like

52:09

a fucking cat. Right? Mhmm. She got a cat. And

52:11

she lives in the city.

52:12

No. She lives

52:13

in Jersey. Okay. So it's a

52:14

little more manageable. Get her the

52:16

Bernies. But, yeah, the a dog adding

52:18

a dog to your life is like sounds like

52:20

such a cute idea on paper, but it

52:22

just becomes that's a daily

52:24

chore. When your life

52:25

is in shambles.

52:27

When you're

52:27

liping and shambles and you have a severe

52:30

ketamine addiction, you don't need a

52:32

dog. Everyone's like telling me

52:32

that I'm like, I want a dog to like get

52:35

a

52:35

plant. You know? I I mean, I Do you want a

52:37

dog just

52:37

to have access to the veterinarian? She's still

52:39

a

52:39

dog partner. Right? So

52:42

I

52:42

can get some doggies and eggs. Dog

52:44

dog fentanyl. He scared

52:45

a lightning.

52:46

They they

52:46

they make

52:47

cat fennel. I I did it

52:49

a

52:49

check who had fentanyl ships

52:52

for a cat. Do you

52:53

ever Fentanyl is like carfentanyl is

52:55

an elephant trinkulizer. What's that?

52:56

There's this

52:57

thing called carfentanyl, which is the strongest

52:59

fentanyl, and it's an elephant regularized. This is a fan all

53:01

that was fun. I used to go to sleep. Shit. Like her cat. Her I I don't I

53:03

have no idea why, but it was, like, these, like, these patches.

53:05

They were fentanyl patches, but they were

53:08

four

53:08

cats. They were from her --

53:10

People

53:10

attached that for.

53:11

-- why

53:11

does the cat need fentanyl? I don't know.

53:14

Why not? One was positive, and we

53:16

never did it, but she was like, yeah, we could just take these and

53:18

fucking put them in our mouth. Yeah. I

53:20

can't wish you heard

53:21

of. Girl was dead. Right? Yeah.

53:23

Why told you that girl, I I did

53:25

it had fentanyl lollipops. Yeah. They came

53:27

in a fanny pack with a lock on them. Yeah. For

53:29

cancer patients -- Yeah.

53:30

-- where they were. Wow. Yeah. You would put

53:33

it

53:33

in your mouth

53:33

for, like, ten

53:36

minutes, and then just the whole rioting refused. I'm

53:38

not so sure.

53:39

Just melts. Yeah. Why did

53:40

she have them? Was she had bought them

53:42

from the drug deal? Answer. No.

53:45

She did not. She just bought them from a drug

53:47

dealer. She was a fat drug addict. No.

53:49

Not that girl. So the the

53:51

the real dodgy

53:53

black trick. Okay. Okay. Give me fentanyl and

53:55

make a plan. She looks I need drugs and

53:56

I need it in sugar form. No.

53:59

Yeah. Yeah.

53:59

A a

54:02

child, like, I love that it's a

54:04

child design. She

54:04

was like a club kid. Like, she was like a it

54:06

was like to take to the club. That is something

54:08

that, like, they they really do, like,

54:10

weed candies are just out there. I wonder how often kids are

54:13

accidentally being dosed with weed candy. Well, that's why

54:15

in a lot of states

54:17

now, it's illegal to have weed candy look like

54:20

anything. Yeah. Like those might remember you talking

54:22

about the Mike Tyson

54:23

ears. Yeah. Now you can't have

54:25

those in most states. Because

54:27

we cankeys have to be they can't look like

54:30

a person or place or is it they

54:32

can't look like a

54:32

person or characters. They can't look like a

54:34

person or one. Yeah. It can't be known. Yeah. That's why,

54:36

like, when

54:36

you buy edibles, they're usually just like

54:39

a square.

54:39

Right. I I bought

54:40

edibles that were quite they were just

54:43

pills. They look like Yeah. When you

54:44

when you buy them from on the black market, it'll

54:46

be like sour patch kids. It just looks like

54:48

sour patch kids. Yeah. You're

54:49

like, okay. Well, this is gonna You can

54:52

easily pop get a twenty of those. Kill

54:54

my child right now. Right. You hate

54:55

animals. I like animals. Can't do them. They make

54:57

me feel like shit.

55:00

Have you has your child ever accidentally done? She's unless

55:02

a doctor injectables in my arm.

55:06

Yeah. Injectables. Which

55:08

time? Has your kid

55:09

ever accidentally done if you had edibles

55:12

around and He would never leave him out. You

55:13

would never leave him out. I

55:16

I mean, typically, I don't really have edibles. If

55:18

I get edibles, I eat them right

55:20

away. Right. It's at a show or something. I

55:21

think I

55:24

have a wonka edible bar at home right now. As I'm saying this, I'm

55:26

like, no, that's a lie. I have a chocolate bar sitting on

55:28

a table. Any of you can do that.

55:33

No. Mike is also not a snoop. Like, I

55:35

don't really have to worry about, like, he doesn't like,

55:37

I I don't have to really hide his Christmas

55:39

gifts because he's he's not the kid to

55:41

go my never it. know? I never when he was a baby,

55:43

I didn't have to, like, put locks on, like, the

55:46

under the sink so he

55:48

didn't leak drink comment or

55:50

something, which could do all the

55:52

time. So I don't really have to worry about that, but I bet

55:54

you it happens. I

55:55

mean, first of all, you're literally not even bringing your kid to the

55:57

hospital. You're going, well, I'm gonna go to jail, so we're just gonna

55:59

ride this out. So I'm sure

56:01

it's so underreported. Like, it

56:03

has to, like, but it has

56:05

to happen. Shannon, have you seen any stories? They're

56:08

busby. Right?

56:08

Yeah.

56:08

They have. I definitely

56:09

have seen them before, not

56:12

recently, though. The

56:12

only reason you would probably maybe take a hospital for

56:15

was dehydration. It's a pedial

56:17

life. If my

56:19

son Or even it wouldn't even worth, like, acid. Like, what

56:22

if you know Like, can actually

56:23

Yeah. Like, what if your kids, like, you you you

56:25

have fucking alloyed tin

56:28

full of it, like, a drop when you're

56:30

saying your kid pops to them. I mean

56:32

and III get anxiety thinking

56:34

about what my side of anxiety you my

56:36

cat ate half of them fucking weed brownie, and I

56:38

felt bad for a year. I can't imagine

56:41

you're a fucking

56:41

kid. Dude, if you accidentally dosed your kid

56:44

with acid, like, There there's

56:46

no explaining to them what that

56:47

is. Maybe you just say it

56:49

was a bad dream. Well,

56:50

there's no

56:51

explaining to, like, in the in the mold Just tell

56:53

him Altoid suck. Dude.

56:56

They'll never have Alzheimer's. You know what

56:58

I mean? You're

56:59

done. But

57:00

in the moment, they're

57:01

gonna, like, Like, how do you even compliment it? You realize they're like, dad, like,

57:04

something's going on, and then you receive the ten. You're like,

57:06

oh, shit. How do you even calm them

57:07

down? I'd say you're sick. You have a

57:09

really bad fever. You gotta get

57:12

a tanner. I

57:12

would say it's the mom's

57:14

fault. I would just jamb lemon on his

57:16

mother. That's crazy.

57:17

I mean, it gives me anxiety

57:19

just thinking about about that.

57:21

Just Yes. Dude, I mean, like,

57:23

you'd be so scared.

57:26

Yes. Dude, you'd be so terrible. Or

57:28

maybe

57:28

not, maybe

57:29

you'd be Let's go to fucking six flags

57:32

that.

57:32

We're just

57:32

on a rock in space, man. We're

57:35

just we're just

57:37

meat bags. Right around this

57:39

crazy. And you're like, you know, my son's insufferable.

57:40

I don't wanna hell this You're

57:42

like, you're gonna die. He's like, you're silly.

57:44

Jack, we listen to fish.

57:48

Jam bands. No. Not

57:49

the band, the animals. No. That's

57:52

fucking lesson. Let's

57:56

see.

57:57

Doesn't live? Does it

57:59

die? Slingshot ride in London.

58:01

Let's go

58:03

shit. Slingshot ride. Four

58:06

thousand dog.

58:08

What do we

58:11

got here? Okay. So

58:13

this actually happened yesterday. This

58:16

slingshot mishap. Hold on

58:18

one

58:18

second. Okay. I just don't wanna

58:20

ruin anything. No. Please don't ruin

58:23

it. Oh, this ride,

58:26

by the

58:27

way? Oh my god. Oh, god. Alright. Hold

58:29

on. Hold on.

58:29

Hold on. We went for a second. Right? It

58:32

stopped it. So far.

58:35

Oh. Oh, shit.

58:37

Oh, no. Well, I mean,

58:39

it's still fucking hanging from one

58:41

string shannon. They lived. Did they

58:44

live?

58:44

I don't

58:45

know. That might be some whiplash from

58:47

that hit. Let's

58:49

see one more time. Oh

58:52

my.

58:53

Oh, blind me. Oh, blind me. Oh

58:55

my god. These things

58:58

are rigged. Leave

59:02

it out. That's horrible. That's

59:03

horrible. Shannon,

59:04

obviously, nobody died. It's fucking

59:06

hanging from a string. It's

59:08

you know, don't bring don't

59:12

bring

59:12

obvious not death to the show, Shannon.

59:14

We missed one second later. We're just

59:18

experts. They

59:20

died. They definitely lived. Right. I don't know.

59:22

Maybe somebody died like a car accident style

59:24

where, like, they broke their neck or

59:25

something. Or or or there's that happens, but we

59:28

just see someone shoot someone. Yeah.

59:30

Just

59:30

Because they pay on the cameras, or we

59:32

just stab at something like that. Oh.

59:35

Jack forever. So

59:37

slingshot ride fail? Shannon,

59:39

I'm gonna say that everyone lived on

59:42

that ride.

59:44

They did. Live. And I did think it was too obvious, but I figured

59:46

it only belonged in this segment for the

59:48

show. But it did take about an hour as

59:50

everything

59:51

were trapped inside that best one had

59:53

to wait for their

59:54

five years. My son makes me do that ride.

59:56

The Slingshot? That one. Yeah. Are

59:59

you, like,

59:59

done with it? Now I'm done. Dude, theme parks, talk

1:00:01

about something that doesn't as you

1:00:04

get older. It really declines

1:00:06

how much you like a theme

1:00:08

park.

1:00:08

Yeah. Like But you have to go It's physically painful. You like going

1:00:10

on a certain world forces are just can't go

1:00:12

on. We we went to six lags a few years

1:00:14

ago, and it's

1:00:15

like, there's ones that

1:00:18

are just painful. Like, they hurt my back and my neck. I'm

1:00:20

stiff. You know? People were done in the Superman one

1:00:22

where your

1:00:22

legs are dangling. Yeah. Well, your your legs

1:00:24

aren't just

1:00:25

dangling. You're facing down. Way

1:00:28

that's scary. Oh,

1:00:29

it's not particularly scary. Yeah. Louis is

1:00:31

a fucking hard

1:00:32

ass. Why would you ask that? Why am you?

1:00:34

Do

1:00:35

you remember the ride gravitron? Yeah.

1:00:37

Yeah. That's been weird.

1:00:38

Yeah. And then you can, like, move

1:00:40

upside down and stuff on it. Yeah.

1:00:42

Yeah. Of course. Chloe, that's funny

1:00:43

because I did an episode of Man secure podcast

1:00:46

called standing on the gravitron, and that was the

1:00:48

joke that they made there. Like, Lewis is definitely a guy that

1:00:50

stands on the wall on

1:00:52

the gravitron. And

1:00:53

Chloe just showed her ass. She would turn upside down day. Like,

1:00:55

so you do have an upside down

1:00:58

gravitron girl

1:01:00

energy. Yeah. For sure.

1:01:02

-- crush that. Yeah.

1:01:04

Yeah. Gravitron was all

1:01:06

those spinning rides. I can't do it all. Right?

1:01:08

Anything that simply just spins. The

1:01:10

scrambler? Right. Because --

1:01:12

Himalaya.

1:01:12

Himalaya. Yeah. And

1:01:12

my son loves them all. There's some being a

1:01:15

little kid, like, I wanna when I

1:01:17

was a child --

1:01:18

Yes. I

1:01:19

would stand in the center of my bedroom and would spin until

1:01:21

I fell down. That's like

1:01:23

that's like

1:01:24

the thirteen year old k

1:01:27

hole. That's

1:01:27

what I said. That's what I did during

1:01:27

Yeah. Yeah. That's but III

1:01:30

would it was our own version of getting high.

1:01:32

Right? That's really what it was. Right? Being

1:01:34

dizzy. Being

1:01:36

dizzy. Well,

1:01:37

kids,

1:01:37

like, choke each other out now. Yeah. I used to do that as well. It was

1:01:39

in middle school. We used to do

1:01:41

the hyperventilating -- Yeah. -- make you to the pass out game.

1:01:43

Yeah. I used to do that

1:01:45

in high school. Yeah. You

1:01:47

just hold your breath and then pass out? No. They they cut off

1:01:49

your carotid

1:01:49

arteries. You like this. You

1:01:51

choke them. You essentially give

1:01:53

them a blood choke.

1:01:55

Yeah. Wow. You get

1:01:56

a high front. Now there's

1:01:57

something I do on the podcast. Would you

1:01:59

do it right now? No. I wouldn't. Come on here.

1:02:01

Let's Holy blood joke

1:02:03

you. How intense is a blood show? It's not

1:02:05

that intense. It doesn't hurt. You're just saying

1:02:07

the right answers. It

1:02:10

rules. Perfect. Okay.

1:02:11

It's a problem. Eating your house at your house at your house. So what

1:02:13

you do is

1:02:14

you put your

1:02:14

your hands right there. Croda's arteries

1:02:18

Yeah. So you're cutting off the blood

1:02:19

to the brain. Mhmm. So you'll pass out

1:02:21

very quickly. I mean, I'll do it. I can really can choke

1:02:23

you right now and do

1:02:25

it. That's

1:02:26

Can you do it, ma'am?

1:02:27

Can I do it to you, Chloe? Yeah. Can I blood choke you right now? Sure. Come

1:02:29

where Chloe? Yes. Chloe is a

1:02:31

real ass

1:02:33

dude. Shouldn't I I'll I'll blood check right now. You get high. Oh, good.

1:02:36

Chloe, you're not gonna sue me. Right? Hey.

1:02:38

Say on camera very clearly that you want me

1:02:40

to choke

1:02:41

you. How many times would

1:02:42

you had to say that, Louis?

1:02:44

Okay. Here we

1:02:48

go. I'm very uncomfortable

1:02:50

with this.

1:02:50

Somebody's

1:02:50

gonna screenshot

1:02:51

this, Lewis. Yeah, dude.

1:02:54

Don't somebody's gonna screenshot this.

1:02:57

Do I I don't have that don't have that up then. I won't say

1:02:59

that that turned me on a little bit. And that's why I had

1:03:01

to stop because she was gonna start feeling my erection,

1:03:03

pressing into her erection. Alright.

1:03:04

Now my turn now that you're warmed up,

1:03:06

now that you're gonna really let me put you out. You're a lunatic.

1:03:08

I was gonna do it too, but I Anything

1:03:10

for fraud? I feel like I feel like

1:03:13

the optics of that. We're not gonna be good for Monday.

1:03:16

Well, now that you just reach

1:03:18

out, that's gonna be in the group. That's gonna

1:03:20

be in the

1:03:21

Facebook. Group. She showed me on record. You're

1:03:24

so problematic. Whatever she liked it.

1:03:26

I don't hate it. She

1:03:29

didn't hate it. How hard did

1:03:30

you did he go?

1:03:31

He didn't he didn't get any I felt a

1:03:34

little I got a little bit I felt a little

1:03:36

I felt a little

1:03:36

yeah. When you

1:03:37

felt a little What was up?

1:03:39

Felt like

1:03:39

I could've I could've put her out with these.

1:03:42

With these.

1:03:42

0II think you've happened. I would've been

1:03:44

on that. I'm an easy

1:03:47

joke. She

1:03:48

really is. So

1:03:49

let's see.

1:03:53

Arizona mom dresses

1:03:56

as a cat during a school board

1:03:58

meeting to MAC Wokeness. I

1:04:00

was gonna

1:04:01

I'll show it to you and then we can discuss it. I

1:04:04

hope this one plays right. I'm sorry.

1:04:05

It's alright.

1:04:08

Hold on. I don't

1:04:10

know what

1:04:11

I'm sorry. Hello. My name is Lindsey

1:04:13

Graham, and I am a

1:04:15

cat. Meow. Meow. I'm not a woman dressed as a cat.

1:04:17

I am a cat. By a show of hands, I'm curious how

1:04:20

many of you believe and confessed that I'm

1:04:22

a cat? Great.

1:04:24

And by show of hands, I'm curious, how many do you

1:04:26

believe that your child or a child

1:04:28

from this school would believe

1:04:30

that I'm actually

1:04:32

a

1:04:32

cat? No one. You are right. Why?

1:04:34

Because you

1:04:34

are not stupid and these children are

1:04:37

not stupid. Truth prevails

1:04:40

over imagination. Reality exists.

1:04:42

Discernment is innate and something we

1:04:44

are biologically wired to have. One look at

1:04:46

me and you know this to be true. I

1:04:49

am a woman posing as a cat.

1:04:51

You may also think correctly that if I truly believe

1:04:53

on the cat I feel like I can tell you the

1:04:55

rest,

1:04:55

like, you understand that. Yeah. That's I got it.

1:04:57

That's gotta be so embarrassing for

1:04:59

her child. Well,

1:05:00

here's the thing. Like,

1:05:01

she looked she got a website Patreon barbie doc you

1:05:03

know, she's a fucking Oh. These

1:05:05

are people

1:05:07

who make Oh, yeah. She's not. Woodsmashed. Toy. Definitely.

1:05:10

Obviously. Right? Toy. This is the this

1:05:12

is the house and she's a this is who she's

1:05:14

speaking

1:05:15

out against. So this is a a man that after his wife died,

1:05:18

he became transgender and

1:05:20

now goes by a woman and then she's like he wears

1:05:22

his dead wife's clothes. All he did is

1:05:24

grow grow out his hair a little bit and wear

1:05:26

makeup and now we're trusting him because they

1:05:28

put him in the school

1:05:28

board. He's the teacher.

1:05:29

Yeah. But he

1:05:30

he's a retired teacher and now he's on the school board.

1:05:33

That

1:05:33

they're horrifying. That's a horrifying

1:05:36

person. That

1:05:36

does look like

1:05:37

scrutiny. By the way, I am more on her side now than I

1:05:40

know she's fighting this.

1:05:41

I saw him It goes to Christmas Pass. Saw his guy at

1:05:43

his Christmas. So I'm not a

1:05:45

hot picture of where I wanna go. Didn't that

1:05:47

guy stop the burglars and home alone

1:05:49

with trouble?

1:05:51

Oh my

1:05:52

god. Oh my god. That's that's yeah. On that, it

1:05:53

looks like he's never at hot water. It

1:05:55

is weird to wear your dead

1:05:58

wife's clothes.

1:06:00

That's what she's saying. I don't know if that's true. You can beat

1:06:02

trans, but

1:06:02

it's a little weird to wear your

1:06:05

dead wife's clothes. Just by

1:06:07

and

1:06:07

new. I also had a big he had a big

1:06:09

wife. Oh, this is

1:06:10

picture I wanted to show you.

1:06:11

Yeah. She's tall. Hell, yeah. Very tall. Love it,

1:06:14

Shannon. This is what Shannon wants to look

1:06:15

like. I I don't hate

1:06:16

it. Yeah. She's

1:06:17

hot. Oh, yeah. Look, here's the

1:06:19

thing. She's if you care that much

1:06:21

to show up at a fucking school, but

1:06:23

I was going like, if your kid

1:06:25

is in that school, I guess, it it was is her kid specifically

1:06:27

in that school, or is she taking the

1:06:30

moment to

1:06:32

go viral? That's the thing that

1:06:34

always be

1:06:34

like, if you're kids in school and you you wanna speak up and

1:06:36

you go, you know what? I don't think they're a fucking Yeah.

1:06:38

They're

1:06:38

not a teacher. They're a school board member. When do

1:06:40

the kids come in contact with You're right. And also,

1:06:42

like And but but if that was a teacher, would you have a problem with that being

1:06:45

a

1:06:45

teacher? That that old old man being

1:06:47

a future? I

1:06:49

would I mean, would you have

1:06:51

a problem with that being you have a kid. So I'll let you I'll tell you why. Please. Because

1:06:53

he's mentally fucking insane. He's wearing his dead

1:06:55

wife's clothes. He's not

1:06:58

a woman. It's you know, I'm not saying that all transgendered people

1:07:00

are insane. Yeah. But I kind of am.

1:07:02

They're a little wacky. They're

1:07:04

wackadoodles. I'm a

1:07:06

wackadoodle. Chloe, I

1:07:08

get we quote, we gotta quote Chloe crazy, but then some dudes, like,

1:07:10

I wanna chop off my cock, dude, and

1:07:12

wear some clothes. And that's not

1:07:15

that's a brave and that's not a

1:07:17

little wacky, loopy all over here.

1:07:20

We gotta fuck the

1:07:22

poor girl. I feel great. Oh, I'm in I'm in therapy.

1:07:24

I'm I got a treatment that

1:07:26

I'm

1:07:26

crazy. Yeah. But this fucking

1:07:29

I agree. I don't want Chloe teaching your son anything. You know

1:07:31

how they say, not all porn tricks have

1:07:34

been molested, and then every time you need a

1:07:36

porn trick, They're like, yeah, I was

1:07:38

molesting him. Not all of us. Mhmm. The same

1:07:40

thing kind of applies with trans

1:07:41

people. Like, yeah, of course, not all of

1:07:43

them are crazy. They're great

1:07:44

fans

1:07:44

though. Every single time I meet one, I've never met a not

1:07:46

crazy one. Every fucking trans

1:07:47

girl I know on Facebook, every few days

1:07:50

is like, I need

1:07:51

a ride

1:07:51

and I don't have three dollars and who's gonna help me

1:07:54

find a

1:07:54

shoe? Yeah. Like, I've never

1:07:56

like, there's never, like They they

1:07:59

things are going great. They cry all the

1:08:01

time. If you cry more than once a

1:08:03

month -- They're pumped. They're in

1:08:05

the catwalk

1:08:06

crazy. Well, we hope for you to drive

1:08:08

life. It depends

1:08:09

on If you

1:08:09

drive more than once a month, as an

1:08:12

adult, you

1:08:12

things aren't going great in your life.

1:08:14

I'm not saying that you're like, either

1:08:17

life's fucking bad or you're a fucking

1:08:19

lunatic. Simple as that. What if what

1:08:21

if you cry in

1:08:24

a movie? Lowe's

1:08:26

discount. Lowe's discount. That's

1:08:28

Especially a

1:08:29

holiday classic. Yes. Yes.

1:08:32

Like elf. Great movie. That is

1:08:34

obviously it's a cookie person who they are handling their wife's death in probably

1:08:36

the worst way you

1:08:39

Yeah. They look like fucking

1:08:41

guy from Santos when he's not good. I can pull

1:08:43

up that person here with a reference, and I want to. The call tall

1:08:46

man, Phantom. Zach is

1:08:49

the king of

1:08:50

rugby. But but

1:08:50

yeah. No.

1:08:50

I live with the trans person. And Perfect. Perfect.

1:08:53

No. I

1:08:54

I passed tenths. I lived

1:08:57

And I will say this trans person did pull a

1:08:59

knife on another roommate in court. The living situation. Those are

1:09:01

looney tunes. This trans person

1:09:03

was anyways, interesting

1:09:07

because this trans person what happened was

1:09:09

this they were a

1:09:11

man, and then I

1:09:13

went home to Kansas for Christmas.

1:09:15

when woman. No. And they didn't tell you that. No. I

1:09:18

didn't. So I just come back and I'm like, oh,

1:09:20

shit. It's like and I

1:09:22

remember I remember asking the question, like,

1:09:25

how's it how's it going? Like, how you've

1:09:27

been? And they just very casually were like, good. And I'm like, well, it's what's

1:09:29

new? And they're like,

1:09:32

not much. I'm like, something's new.

1:09:34

What's

1:09:34

new? What's it? Yeah. My kid. So but it was it was a dude and then he

1:09:36

was

1:09:37

living as a

1:09:40

dude and was he gay? Was he

1:09:42

It was a gay man that became a straight oh, straight woman.

1:09:44

Is that how

1:09:47

we're

1:09:47

yes. Yeah. So but but you

1:09:50

hadn't, like, this was a complete shock. It was it was just funny

1:09:54

to feel like I leave for one week and this is what happens. Did

1:09:56

you discuss it any beyond beyond that? Did

1:09:58

you, like, make jokes and

1:09:59

shit? No. This person I wasn't

1:10:02

friends with, so you couldn't have that,

1:10:04

like, friend rapport. It was,

1:10:06

like, the type of person when you're

1:10:06

around. I love started hitting her with a broom. Personnel. Like,

1:10:11

who are you? No. They were

1:10:14

like, no. I'm a Republican. Always an asshole. That the individual was always a dick. Always a

1:10:16

dick. Always a dick. With or without

1:10:18

one. With or without one, there were

1:10:22

always a dickhead, which is just the

1:10:24

the lesson made Did he look

1:10:26

like a woman after he transitioned? No.

1:10:30

It looked like

1:10:31

him. Someone, you know, trying to

1:10:33

look

1:10:34

like a woman, which, you

1:10:36

know,

1:10:38

They sucked

1:10:39

as a roommate. Yeah. It's who

1:10:41

you are. It's who you are.

1:10:43

Yeah. I I feel you're walking on

1:10:45

egg shells because you don't wanna come

1:10:47

off as like hateful But I'm also not Can't

1:10:49

just call a dickhead a dickhead because they're

1:10:51

psychotic. What is the

1:10:51

what is the what is the

1:10:54

rule that I have to play by

1:10:56

here? Why does a transgendered person have to be treated

1:10:58

as a special

1:10:58

class? It's not Oh, no. Yeah. I'm

1:10:59

not this individual. Oh, they're fucking if they're equals,

1:11:01

they're fucking equals. If you're a dickhead,

1:11:03

you're a dickhead. If

1:11:05

you're a whack a doodle and you wanna cut your body parts off your

1:11:07

whack a doodle. And that's not a it's not a bad thing. Being a crazy person or

1:11:10

being a whack a

1:11:12

doodle Does it make you

1:11:14

inherently a bad person? Does it mean you shouldn't have rights? Does it mean any of that? But call a fucking spade a spade here. You're a fucking wackadoodle.

1:11:16

And maybe show me

1:11:19

I would love it your

1:11:22

transgender person you listen to the show, you

1:11:24

know, I'm on a wacky little. I'm as fucking

1:11:26

normal as debate.

1:11:27

Please, come and convince me. I would love it.

1:11:29

Please, I'll suck the cock run off your body.

1:11:31

New contest. New

1:11:31

contest. You convince me you're not a whack dude. I'll suck your

1:11:33

dick until it falls off your body. And you get free

1:11:36

tickets to tank

1:11:39

vest. How about that? That's

1:11:39

crazy. Oh, I see. They gotta find

1:11:41

me in Warzone. I'm good for

1:11:44

you, Luis.

1:11:46

No. I mean, yeah, I completely agree

1:11:48

that people should be judged on who they are,

1:11:50

and there shouldn't be like a halo

1:11:53

of protectionism because of marginalization

1:11:56

that a group of people has. Most

1:11:58

gay guys I've met are Snobby dickheads. Mhmm.

1:12:01

Most lesbians that I've met are

1:12:03

fucking mean mean bitches. You wanna say there's like this

1:12:05

weird like protection that

1:12:08

we have. And I think

1:12:10

these people like they go like, oh, yeah. eighties

1:12:12

gays and

1:12:15

the trans people and it sort of had

1:12:18

them fucking it kept them in

1:12:19

line. The act of right, dude. You guys all agree. Good.

1:12:21

Everyone agrees we're

1:12:22

all the same.

1:12:23

Try us to make sure. Idle.

1:12:26

It's a better time, dude. It's

1:12:28

a better fuck. It is interesting, like,

1:12:30

how like They're out

1:12:31

of control

1:12:32

these days.

1:12:33

And you ever talk to a gay

1:12:35

guy these days. They're fucking They're

1:12:37

so entitled. Call me can only

1:12:39

chuck you again.

1:12:40

Alright. Trying

1:12:41

to remember correctly. It is interesting like how, like, you

1:12:43

know, when we were,

1:12:47

like, in middle school and you bullied by calling people gay.

1:12:49

And now I feel like you

1:12:51

bullied by

1:12:55

calling someone homophobic. Yeah. Like, it's

1:12:56

just like, oh my god. I asked my

1:12:58

son there or I said something to my son the other day about being gay or mentioning

1:13:00

just somebody in the school being gay. Mhmm.

1:13:02

He's a dad. There's no gays in my

1:13:04

school. I

1:13:06

was like, I was like, I promise you they are. He was

1:13:08

like, no, there's not. I

1:13:09

check. What is going on here? He's like,

1:13:11

I tried to

1:13:13

kiss every boy. None of them have responded.

1:13:15

But I was surprised that that was, like,

1:13:18

his attitude and that was a

1:13:20

natural thing that he came to that it would

1:13:21

be, like, that would be weird if it was gay kids

1:13:23

at the school. And to

1:13:25

this day that's still

1:13:26

happening. So, I mean, you're raising your son. Right? I raised my son like a little bullseye.

1:13:29

I really do. Like -- Yes. --

1:13:31

I I'm not Like,

1:13:34

my son one day, my son's gonna be very

1:13:36

surprised at some of the jokes that he hears me

1:13:38

make because he's gonna

1:13:39

go, that's fucking wild. He was like, I've never

1:13:42

heard my dad

1:13:42

say, a hateful thing about any group of people. I'm

1:13:44

particularly, like, conscious about it.

1:13:47

Probably, I'm overcorrecting because

1:13:49

let's say a comedy that I do. And I

1:13:51

I don't want him to, know, I don't want to see me that I don't don't ever go, like, oh,

1:13:53

my dad's a fucking, you

1:13:55

know, hateful asshole. I

1:13:59

want to know the distinction between fucking jokes and between,

1:14:01

you know, and and there's genuinely

1:14:03

distinction there. Right. But it was kind

1:14:05

of interesting that he doesn't think there's gay

1:14:07

kids in the

1:14:08

school. And I just would have

1:14:10

assumed that their teaching in inclusiveness or or whatever to wear even at

1:14:12

that age in the fourth grade,

1:14:14

in

1:14:15

Jersey, even in the suburbs, I

1:14:18

would assume that they would sort of have the conversation

1:14:20

about, hey, there's probably gay kids in the

1:14:22

school and, you know, gender is just

1:14:26

a social construct.

1:14:26

That's really good. The teacher who we all know super

1:14:27

gay. Yeah. So alright.

1:14:30

Let's see. We're gonna

1:14:32

wrap up here in a minute. We'll

1:14:35

get one more. more Shannon. Scan

1:14:40

that gym. You wanna

1:14:43

do it? Let's see. Oh, boy.

1:14:52

Anaka edition. Monica, hello. Great scam

1:14:53

right here. Shannon founded on the Internet woman saves money

1:14:55

by cutting the stems off

1:14:58

of broccoli to save

1:15:00

weight. Love it to stay

1:15:02

on

1:15:02

the weight. I I think this is a great

1:15:03

idea. You think this is a great idea. Yeah. We should we should bring scissors

1:15:05

into

1:15:05

the store, which is new. Is there a

1:15:07

video of this?

1:15:10

Hold on. I think there's a Genius. I I'm I'm already on

1:15:12

board with what this woman is doing. I'm the

1:15:14

type of person that, like, I've gone

1:15:17

to the grocery store I've taken the

1:15:19

premium eggs and put premium eggs into the

1:15:21

cheap carton. So now I get the premium, like,

1:15:23

k three eggs and cheap carton. When

1:15:25

you go to a Folio place, you, like, rip a little bit off. You know, when they charge you per weight, you, like, rip some

1:15:28

your bowl or you eat as you're

1:15:30

in line. So I'm all I

1:15:32

love hearing

1:15:35

this.

1:15:35

I I don't know. You'll love this whole segment. So we've been doing

1:15:37

this for a long time, and and the the scams have

1:15:39

dried up. But please, by

1:15:41

all means, send in your scam that you scam realized official

1:15:43

at gmail dot com. Scan that you in the subject line. If you

1:15:45

got a good little scam that saves us a couple bucks,

1:15:48

send it on in, you win a

1:15:50

free scam that you t shirt, the

1:15:52

elusive scam, that your t

1:15:54

shirt. So, yeah, this is a a decent scam. But my my you know, here's the reality.

1:16:00

You're saving twenty cents. I mean, you cut not

1:16:02

you're, like, not that expensive. Yeah. Exactly. How much the amount of

1:16:04

time you're spending cutting it

1:16:07

off in the store It's just not

1:16:09

a great scam. Wrong attention to yourself by cutting up groceries.

1:16:11

You're yielding you're it's not enough of

1:16:13

a a savings to warrant

1:16:15

the crazy behavior.

1:16:18

Right? Mhmm. Now here's the thing. If you're

1:16:21

living your life where

1:16:23

you

1:16:23

are regularly, you know, figuratively

1:16:25

cutting the stems off of

1:16:27

broccoli in life, Like, that's just sort of the

1:16:30

way your mind works. It does add up. Right? So yes. Okay? You know, everything from

1:16:32

jumping the turnstile to

1:16:34

get on the subway to

1:16:37

you know, fucking, you know, drinking soda

1:16:38

while you're at a deli, waiting to, you know, buying other stuff.

1:16:40

Those are all great little ways to save

1:16:42

money. And over time, and over

1:16:46

a lifetime, you'll probably will save some money. She probably

1:16:48

will save eleven dollars in twenty years

1:16:50

of doing this. Yeah. So she got a

1:16:52

bunch of stuff She's she's spray

1:16:55

pink. It's cauliflower green. Sure. So

1:16:58

we

1:16:59

have video this. She

1:17:01

has a a TikTok video. She doesn't really it does it just

1:17:03

this is where it came from. Oh, I don't

1:17:05

like if She should invest

1:17:07

in some hi

1:17:10

I'm only going to pay for

1:17:12

what I am

1:17:15

going to eat. That's it.

1:17:17

And she says that she if their stems are long enough, she breaks them off. If not, she brings a

1:17:19

pocketknife and that she learned it

1:17:22

from her grandmother and continues it

1:17:24

on.

1:17:26

I mean, a classic one is just put the organic thing

1:17:28

and, like, replace the stickers. I

1:17:30

got caught one time because you

1:17:32

know when the grocery store is getting rid of

1:17:35

a product and so they put like the the orange

1:17:37

sale sticker on it that's like two

1:17:39

dollars for whatever it

1:17:41

is. I It's about to expire. I took

1:17:43

that sticker and I just put it on something that was gonna expire like, three weeks. Nice.

1:17:47

And got it. Got caught

1:17:49

and got like but I was like, as

1:17:51

soon as the employee walked away, I just did it. Again, it's the whole,

1:17:53

what authority do you actually have?

1:17:56

You're bad. A

1:17:59

bad boy. Yeah. Oh, I'm I'm a hard

1:18:00

ass. Real astute. He is

1:18:01

a real astute. I

1:18:01

I would do all of those things. We've had some

1:18:04

great scams over the years. Another great

1:18:06

one. Right? This great

1:18:07

one, this holiday season. The the

1:18:09

sheets one is one of my favorite ones. What's the sheets one? So

1:18:11

I'm so bored. It's

1:18:11

essentially what you did with the eggs. But

1:18:13

it's but it's a little it's

1:18:16

done differently. Mhmm.

1:18:18

So you go and you

1:18:20

you go

1:18:21

to, like, your Bed Bath and

1:18:23

Beyond and somewhere you're gonna get

1:18:25

sheets. And you got the highest thread

1:18:28

count and the lowest thread

1:18:29

count. Mhmm. You buy and buy both. Okay.

1:18:31

So

1:18:31

buy expensive sheets and then shitty sheets.

1:18:34

Same

1:18:34

color. SIP

1:18:34

color. Go out

1:18:35

to the car or whatever. Switch them. Put

1:18:37

their shitty sheets. The shitty sheets

1:18:39

in the expensive the expensive

1:18:41

one.

1:18:42

Get your money back on the expensive one.

1:18:44

And you got really beautiful sheets for

1:18:45

-- Or -- -- shitty sheet. -- shittish slices. Wow. That is nice. And I

1:18:47

that's how we make

1:18:48

our claim. That's why we

1:18:50

have the nicest clan costumes. At

1:18:53

the meeting. Ours hood is a two thousand Egyptian

1:18:55

cotton. That's a rare scam. Shannon, what

1:18:57

was

1:18:58

your favorite scam over the

1:19:00

years? Then a a bunch

1:19:02

of good

1:19:02

ones. Boy, that's a 1II guess the the sheets one because that's

1:19:05

something I might

1:19:06

I feel like I might actually do that

1:19:08

one There

1:19:11

are a whole bunch of ones of

1:19:11

just, like, us, like, switching the price tags or

1:19:14

So he's getting The other one with the

1:19:16

litter box. The litter box case is a great

1:19:18

one. You can just you can claim

1:19:21

that your litter box is broken. You just go to the website and say, hey, my

1:19:23

litter box is broken. You literally just pick any store that you bought

1:19:25

at. There's no receipt. There's no

1:19:27

proof of

1:19:28

purchase. They just send

1:19:30