Episode Transcript
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You're listening to the Cash Digital Network.
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What up, all the fuckers. It's the real ass
1:25
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1:27
Where did my thank for the last dude, ultimate minority,
1:29
joint Abercrombie. I got a lot of names. International
1:32
Superstore zachamico. Hey, do buddy.
1:34
Funny. He's a psycho. You know what I mean?
1:36
Dude, I would double payment this chick with her husband.
1:38
Now he's selling Coke in heaven. Are you fucking
1:41
ready motherfuckers? Is there only
1:43
real podcast left out there?
1:50
Yeah, baby boys. I did two boys in Shanghai,
1:53
almost bordering around say king of things, a point
1:55
on a podcasting. We are
1:57
here on a Friday with
1:59
pre tape action on Friday. I'm on my way to Los
2:01
Angeles, California right now to celebrate New Year's
2:03
Eve. Hopefully, you guys got those tickets.
2:05
Come see me and Dave with me and or do
2:08
we give us thanks on Sunday New Year's Day. That's
2:10
all happened in Los Angeles this weekend. The
2:12
show is jiffy sold out at this point.
2:15
Seven thirty show on on New Year's Eve. There's
2:17
a lot of tickets for, so don't worry about that.
2:19
You can get into that one baby boy. As
2:21
always, I am with the international superstar,
2:24
Zach. Amico, what's up? Good morning, buddy. How
2:26
are you, man? Doing pretty good, man. Very happy about
2:28
the two guests we have on the show today. From
2:30
the slick and thick podcast, which is a brand
2:32
new addition here on the gas digital network.
2:34
Very excited to have these gentlemen joining us
2:36
here on the show and on the network long
2:39
time friend of the show. The great
2:41
Mickey Gall is back on the show.
2:44
And a very new friend, but soon
2:46
to be a longtime friend, the great Gerard
2:49
Michaels is back on the show. Oh,
2:51
y'all. Thank
2:53
you. I like your breathing.
2:55
That was good. Yeah. Very Jamaican
2:58
inspired. That's right. Yeah. It was
3:00
actually
3:00
So we're the newest podcast.
3:01
We're the newest You're the newest podcast. We're
3:04
we're launching another I'm launching another
3:06
show. In January
3:07
as well as you got, but it's
3:08
on a podcast. I'm watching a new the
3:11
the next iteration of of roast battles
3:13
called spit roast.
3:13
Nice. And
3:14
it's a roasting competition. These
3:15
guys, yelling at a girl in the middle of yeah.
3:17
It's essentially it's it's rape. But,
3:20
you know, it's really it's just it's
3:22
Right. Right. It's not good
3:25
for anyone. He's two
3:27
guys and a girl whose dad really fucked up.
3:29
Well, We we actually have Zachimico
3:31
and Aaronberg in the first spit roast
3:33
battle at the stand on January
3:35
eleventh. So that that's coming as well. We have
3:37
a couple other things, you know, in the works. But
3:40
you guys are officially the only new
3:42
podcast that we've announced
3:43
just so far. Yeah. So far. So we're very
3:45
excited for you guys. We've cut some pretty fucking dope
3:47
episode I'm not I've heard a great
3:49
thing. Not gonna lie. We've done some pretty cool shit.
3:51
We've got a a guard from Guantanamo
3:53
Bay who got out of the guy
3:56
out of the military and wanted to kill
3:57
himself. He's one of our first cast, great, great,
3:59
great, dude, great story. We got a bunch of really
4:01
fucking cool shit. I'm excited to
4:03
make it all And look, we got a great show plan
4:05
today. It is the real ass podcast number
4:07
nine thirty nine, Wow shit. We're approaching episode
4:09
one thousand. Episode one thousand will be a very,
4:11
very big deal. Very, very big
4:13
I I've never I've never, you know,
4:16
made a big deal about anniversaried shows before. That's not
4:18
a big deal to me. This one Shannon we're
4:20
gonna fucking go and we're gonna do some crazy shit. So
4:22
sending your ideas, what do you wanna see us
4:24
do for our one thousandth
4:26
episode of the Real Last podcast? We've been in the
4:28
show a very, very long time. But let's do our
4:30
plugs. Let's get them out of the way right now. Mickey,
4:33
Gerard, obviously the slick and thick podcast
4:35
you guys can subscribe on iTunes, YouTube
4:37
all these other platforms.
4:37
Right? Obviously, it will be on gas digital starting
4:40
in January. What else you plugging?
4:42
Shit. What else you plugging? Dog
4:43
When you were just on Chaz Palmodaries Podcast.
4:46
I'm a be on it next week. Chaz is a great
4:48
fun day. Tomorrow. It's a great day to check out.
4:50
Check
4:50
out Instagram am, Gerrard, don't
4:53
give a fuck, Gerrard, DGAF. Mickey
4:55
Gawl, we got all our stuff on there, and that's probably
4:57
the best way to go. Social media is I'm on
4:59
TikTok. He's not he's on Twitter. I'm
5:01
not, you
5:01
know, follow us there. Stick it thick
5:03
and stay in touch with everything that we got
5:05
going on. I love it.
5:06
Thank you.
5:07
January twenty second catalyst wrestling
5:09
will be at the Bell House in Brooklyn coming up.
5:11
It's my birthday.
5:13
I'll be there. Oh. Catalyst
5:15
wrestling? Yeah. That's right.
5:17
So
5:17
I the Al Snow was a good friend of mine. I actually
5:20
was on I reped his
5:22
clothing brand,
5:22
Collarinobo, on a legion of skanks on
5:25
a Monday. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, look,
5:27
guys. I got a lot of life stuff coming up this
5:29
weekend, Los Angeles. Then Amit
5:31
and Zach will be in Washington DC January
5:33
fifth or
5:33
seventh, gather seconds for DC
5:35
comedy. Something or
5:37
other. You guys are gonna be at DC
5:38
January sixth? Yeah. Yeah. We're celebrating
5:41
big plant. Yeah. We're celebrating the
5:44
Insurrection. The the peaceful
5:46
protest. The Germans are there
5:48
for the interaction. Right. Right. Were you really?
5:50
No. I should have
5:51
been, though. You really should have. You're really good for
5:53
it. Direction vibes. Yeah.
5:54
I would you know, I wasn't a member of the FBI
5:57
though, so I wasn't invited. I
5:59
think you're right. Look, we
6:01
have a lot of other stuff coming up as well. Limus
6:03
of steaks dot com, Goodby Phoenix, Goodbyton,
6:06
Minnesota, Kiahoga Falls, and many
6:08
other dates coming up. It's not added to the
6:10
website, but I got houston coming up the spring, Yonkers,
6:12
San Diego, and many many
6:14
other places. All the place to me and Aaron didn't go. I'm
6:16
gonna be hitting with, hopefully, with on
6:18
most of those shows. So come out to those shows.
6:20
Make sure you guys subscribe, you guys subscribe, you guys, digital
6:22
network dot com. Use the promo code RAP
6:25
Get a seven day free trial kit that's in access to
6:27
the On Demand library for all of the shows here on the
6:29
network. Realized Bocky has almost a thousand
6:31
episodes now that you can get ad free uncensored
6:33
and in one place There
6:36
we are. And
6:39
subscribe to my twitch channel. Twitch dot tv slash
6:41
pure rattlesnake. I've been giving away
6:44
gang fest tickets. If you can stream snipe me and
6:46
kill me in Warzone, that's happened now a
6:48
bunch, and I've switched to a wheel prizes. So
6:50
you're gonna spin on a wheel of prizes if you can do it. It's very
6:52
easy to kill me. I'm not good at the game.
6:54
So it's a very it's a whole other element. What do you
6:56
think about
6:56
Twitch? Man. Is is that still going on? Is
6:57
that still pop off? Yeah. People's still doing like, people
7:00
are going crazy. Yeah. I I don't pop off when I
7:02
only get, like, fifty to a hundred people that watch my
7:04
streams, but that's still actually
7:06
fairly sizable. He's pretty good. So,
7:08
yeah, switch that TV slash be around a
7:09
snake. It's pretty fun. I enjoy it. I enjoy playing
7:11
some video again. That's why I'm late today. I'm kidding.
7:14
Traffic. Actually,
7:16
I enjoyed on your Instagram
7:19
when you were that was Twitch. Right?
7:21
We're we're going around
7:21
and, like, you're making the guys into their
7:24
pockets.
7:24
Yeah. I ran the guy's pockets.
7:25
He's running pockets. He's fucking yeah.
7:28
Yeah. Getting getting rods from little kids. Little
7:30
children. Little kids, I feel bad. I give them
7:32
a chance live every time. You
7:33
let him live. I was happy, dude. I was honorable. I'm not
7:35
gonna kill these little children. But Yeah.
7:37
You
7:37
if you can find me in the game and stream tonight me, I
7:39
will scream like a girl and run from you.
7:42
That's
7:42
the best
7:42
How many Skanks episodes
7:43
do you guys at? I don't know. I
7:46
don't know. Like, more or less
7:48
than I think it's less than probably eight
7:50
hundred. Well, we do this three times a
7:51
week. There's been times where we were only doing skanks
7:54
once a week. We've got it twice a week. So
7:56
but, yeah, I've been podcasting for quite some
7:58
time. Monday's episode was 709
8:00
Well, 709 Well, I I
8:02
for one was horrified by last night's
8:04
podcast. Yeah. It was a It's horrifying. Wild
8:06
guy. We did the
8:08
porn dead porn star Olympics. And we
8:10
Yeah. Like, what did they have for us today? The fucking
8:13
gay hooker dance off? It wasn't good. It
8:15
wasn't it wasn't it was it was
8:17
not for the faint of heart. Go enjoy that episode.
8:20
Look, we have a lot to talk about on today's
8:22
show. Look, we have we
8:24
always do people watch on the
8:26
show,
8:28
because The musical --
8:30
No. No. No. No. The dogs. Of course. the murder
8:33
dogs.
8:33
Yeah. The minor the minor dogs. Yeah. The ones that
8:35
are eating children the over your
8:36
life. Yeah. Yeah. So I
8:39
there was another Pippel attachment. What happened
8:41
here? Ods on video. Okay.
8:47
So what happened was
8:49
Baham,
8:49
I'm gonna give you guys the rights today.
8:52
No. No. We'll get we'll get a
8:54
copyright stricken on YouTube. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
8:56
Alright.
8:59
Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck
9:03
yeah.
9:04
I like it. So good
9:06
morning. So what happened with this
9:08
dog? Okay. So it was during
9:10
recess, about one o'clock in the afternoon
9:12
in Missouri, and the
9:14
kids were playing how
9:16
old were these kids?
9:17
Between fifth and sixth grade.
9:18
Oh, these poor kids. Yeah. And there was,
9:21
like, teachers out there and
9:23
staff. And then two of the neighbor's
9:25
pitbull got
9:25
loose, ran into the school yard, and
9:28
then twenty one people in total were
9:30
injured. I mean, we when a kid when a two
9:32
people run into a school playground with all those
9:34
kids, that's like us running into a Chinese
9:36
buffet. I'm like, wow, dude. It's all you can
9:38
eat. You just fucking go to town. I mean,
9:40
I don't know. Exactly. wasn't
9:42
good. But if you really look at it from the pimples
9:44
perspective, it was quite the feast. Yeah.
9:46
Sounds like a blast. Yeah. From
9:48
the
9:48
pimples perspective, it was what maybe the best of
9:51
their life. Yeah. How come, like, the Shark
9:53
Week people never come out and
9:55
defend the pit bulls like they defend sharks? You
9:57
ever watch Shark Week and they're like, somebody loses
9:59
their leg and they're like, well, the shark was just
10:01
trying to taste me to see what I was like with
10:02
everything. You are you are you are swimming
10:05
in their habitat. A a
10:07
shark. Like, if you get eaten by a shark
10:09
for the most
10:09
part, you fucked up. It's only the Puerto Rican's
10:12
next door don't have a shark to cut one.
10:14
Yeah. Yeah. If you get this a
10:16
shark. You were fucking around.
10:17
Yeah. It did. Like you like, we live we
10:19
live in South Florida with the Cubans, bro.
10:21
They got shows. Pipples are in our
10:24
habitat. It's not like your happening.
10:26
You're not jumping into a
10:26
pitbull, fucking fighting pit, and getting
10:29
attacked.
10:29
Yeah. But pitbull -- scared were fucking inherently
10:32
dangerous. -- dangerous. There is trained to be
10:34
dangerous. I'm I've no pit that are the softest
10:36
puppies of all time? Yep. Probably, put
10:38
until until something
10:39
happens. Until something
10:41
happens. And then they have they
10:43
have death jaws that can fucking eat
10:45
your baby. I got a friend, an ex teammate
10:47
of mine who hates the
10:49
segment with every fiber's being his name
10:51
is
10:51
Chad, and he's part of teen floppy
10:54
ears.
10:54
Team floppy ears.
10:55
Who's who's actually, I think, advocated
10:58
against the segment online. So You
11:00
can't you can't -- Yeah. -- just you
11:03
can't just
11:04
give it a cute pin pull to these
11:06
baby eating demons. You can't
11:08
just call them fucking puppy
11:10
puppy eyes and fucking now
11:12
they're they're
11:13
now, am I walking jaws? I love them.
11:15
They're not -- Right.
11:15
-- I'm not saying to get of
11:18
people's pimples, I'm saying, let the breed
11:20
die
11:20
off. That's what I'm saying. The
11:22
Puerto Ricans? No. Oh.
11:25
It was
11:28
actually racist. No. I
11:30
say, let the breeze die off in twenty years. You got
11:32
no more pimples. We had no more pimple
11:33
problems. That's
11:35
all I'm saying. So are
11:37
You know, without killing without killing a single
11:39
peeple, all you gotta do is
11:41
fucking not breathe
11:42
about Bay. Yes. It's not You're you're with the
11:44
Barrick Barrick's Bay and utero Pipals. Is
11:46
that the Is that the
11:47
Oh, it says He said last name
11:50
is Barrick I mean, Jesus Christ, the man knows what he's
11:52
talking about. That's it, man. You you
11:54
feel real you you're really this anti pit
11:56
bull. It's something I'm anti pit
11:57
bull. I just have a I care more about
11:59
children than I hear about pimples. I find it hard
12:01
to believe. I really do. I swear to
12:04
God, I
12:04
do. You know? And it's not being anti pimple.
12:06
Uh-huh. You know, why do you have a pimple?
12:08
No, I don't, but I do. I know people
12:10
that do, and they're always very sweet dogs. I feel like
12:13
they're trained poorly. I like any other
12:15
dog would be trained
12:15
poorly. A doberman pincher, or a while
12:18
or, you know,
12:18
like, he didn't he didn't say a
12:20
government picture or a while ago. Correct? He
12:22
literally flubbed both
12:23
of those
12:23
words yet. I wasn't paying attention. You said
12:26
doberman and then you said Is it not
12:27
doberman? Is it doberman with a brief? Doberman. Yeah.
12:30
I'm
12:30
sorry. But I'm
12:30
I I
12:31
picked up. Yeah. I
12:33
I I'm I'm
12:34
lags on my Germany. You're in the sorry.
12:37
Sorry Uberman, Chad. My I'm lags on
12:39
my Germany. But the yeah.
12:41
So the doberman
12:42
Pinchers, which I've never seen live
12:45
only on TV. Yeah. Rotweiler.
12:47
Now that's a bad motherfucker.
12:48
Never been
12:48
up against a Rockweller. My next door neighbor had a
12:50
crazy Rockweller actually had to get put down. That
12:53
fucking thing is them. That's I'd be way more
12:55
scared of a Rockweller. Yeah. I had a Rockweller tech my Jack Russell
12:57
terrier in front of me. And I opened his fucking
12:59
death jaws up and took my dog out of his mouth. At a
13:00
boy. Yeah. But that Jack Russell
13:03
terrier was a dick. Razed by
13:05
Michael Vick is more dangerous than a Rockwell
13:07
raised by
13:07
you. That's not true.
13:08
That's not true. To a baby,
13:10
baby. Because it's it's
13:12
about even You're tired
13:14
of just spirit
13:16
had you not taken care of the
13:19
sport
13:19
issue. Did he say he used to just run it James
13:21
like a Jabber? What we would do is he would try
13:23
to he would he would run like, we had
13:25
the baby in the crib and he would jump
13:27
And, you know, Jack Monsa Terre is a sort of a pointy,
13:30
strong -- Mhmm. -- but he would create, like, a
13:32
spirit of his
13:33
body, and he would try to go through my
13:35
son's chest. And then you're trying
13:36
to reverse alien. Yeah. You're trying to
13:39
murder him. He's gonna be a With the edge
13:41
spear. Yeah. Be a spearting him with
13:43
his
13:43
pause. And I we had to stop that
13:45
many a time. So you wanna live in a world with
13:47
nothing
13:47
but pugs? Is that the idea? Look,
13:50
look, I'm not saying I wanna live in a world with
13:52
anything. I'm just saying all too and we do segment.
13:54
And Shannon, by the
13:55
way, Shannon, I will give you a free
13:58
range Mickey. Calm the fuck down. I
14:00
mean, I get some new liquids
14:01
over here. Yeah.
14:02
You're fucking. This guy a fucking
14:04
liquid asshole.
14:05
Yeah. Holy
14:05
cow. He has a torn annulus. What do
14:08
what do you have a torn? What's wrong with your background
14:10
now? No. I had a bad herniated
14:11
disc I've had for, like, three years. And, like,
14:13
bad
14:13
bad. I
14:13
just got surgery five days ago, five days.
14:16
Wow. Yeah. Probably shouldn't be here.
14:18
You imagine it was motherfucker competing in
14:20
the UFC with the bad motherfuckers
14:22
on planner with a broken ass back. I
14:23
know. Wild, man.
14:25
Wow, crazy.
14:26
I'm a real
14:26
bad ass guy. He's a he's a real ass dude.
14:29
That is real last dude. Real last
14:31
podcast. That's that's Just take the name of your
14:33
podcast show. Yeah. That's what my name. That's my podcast.
14:35
Podcast. Sorry. Look. Let's see.
14:37
What else going on here? So, Shannon twenty
14:39
twenty two is coming to an end. This is kind of
14:41
interesting. I always have an appreciation for
14:43
criminals. I have an appreciation for people that
14:45
are a little bit you know,
14:47
that that -- But the
14:48
-- -- diabetes. -- a little disobedient. Well,
14:50
it's just they make their own rules. They make their
14:52
own path, you know. And I I feel like if you can get
14:54
away with it, you can get away with it, you know, just,
14:56
you know, It's like cheating on a test. That's a
14:58
different skill than
15:00
studying for a test. How I got a degree. Me
15:02
too. It's it's the the I wouldn't have graduated
15:04
high school. I had not cheated all the time. But
15:07
getting away with cheating is a whole
15:09
other like thing. It's not that
15:11
easy. Yeah. It's just it's sort
15:13
of a different skill that I worked on, which
15:15
was you
15:15
know, getting people to let me get their
15:17
homework. Like, that's a thing. And
15:18
then you get the tickets that are, like, no. You're, like,
15:21
dude. Art of me a stranger. Art of me a
15:23
stranger. Art of
15:25
way is
15:25
it? I would have this one.
15:25
Yes. I would I would never have a pencil. I would never have a
15:28
number two pencil. Then I I'd be like, hey, does
15:30
anybody have a number two pencil? And these assholes would be
15:31
like, no. You should have brought your own pencil. I was
15:34
like, I You're lucky on
15:36
me even
15:36
though I'll kill you. Yeah. I mean, it's just
15:38
fucking crazy. Like, these
15:39
people are fucking real well, it's really, really
15:42
stingy, but they're fucking pencils. I've never
15:43
had that problem. Never had that problem. You're a big guy, though.
15:45
You just fucking grab him by their head. Cool pencil
15:48
bro. Yeah. Now it's my pencil.
15:49
Yeah. Like
15:50
the kids who like they like if you're like, they
15:52
see you copying, like, go, like, It's like Flip
15:54
that arm. It's crazy. Yeah. I mean What what
15:56
what what never seen a number one pencil
15:58
or a number that what are these
15:59
pencils? Oh,
16:00
a seinfeld bit. Right. Is this Santos
16:02
a bit? No. But it sounds like yeah.
16:04
What's with with the number two pencil? What what
16:07
what is I've only seen number
16:09
two
16:09
pencils. True. And the number two petzel is the
16:11
best petzel. Now let's give credit reports to the tycom.
16:14
Is Dixon. Tycom Doroga is the
16:16
Ferrari of Petsels.
16:16
That's Natalie is about to come in with Do do
16:19
people even write anymore? Does anybody know how
16:21
to write the hardness of graphite cores
16:23
off and marked on the pencil? Look for
16:25
a number such as two two and a half
16:27
or
16:27
three, the higher the number, the harder, the
16:29
writing core, and the lighter
16:31
the mark left. If you wrote in cursive, do
16:33
you think your son could read it?
16:34
Ma'am. Yeah. He wants to stay current. Yeah.
16:36
Yeah. He's still no current. Shit.
16:38
Fuck. Fuck. Shandings
16:43
are the top five where Trump's committed in twenty twenty
16:45
two. Let me say.
16:50
Florida bride bride
16:53
allegedly faces wedding
16:55
fruit.
16:56
Leases.
16:57
Look
16:57
at face. I can't
16:57
speak right now. What is happening in my
17:00
fucking mouth? I
17:00
did something much worse than this.
17:03
Laces wedding food with pot
17:06
Granes' deputies arrived body cam show.
17:08
And she
17:08
got a shit evened right there. Okay. But
17:10
wait a minute. Hold on. So
17:12
the deputies responded to the February nineteenth
17:15
wedding of Daniel and Andrew Saboboda
17:17
after reports of marijuana based food
17:19
and making guests feel high or
17:21
ill. What
17:22
else did she just dose them all? I didn't tell them, like, made him
17:24
think this is normal food and Yes. And the
17:26
guest tweeted them out because they said they
17:28
felt like, we order didn't feel good to
17:30
the guests actually ratted them
17:31
out. I'm not being
17:34
an asshole here, but it's just a little bit of
17:36
fucking pot they get.
17:36
What a way
17:36
to ruin that that poor person's
17:39
wedding day? She's just trying to give you three drugs.
17:41
Honestly, you know what? That's in this
17:43
economy. What was it late? Was
17:45
it, like, she was trying to fucking
17:47
get people high against her will or was she just like, yeah,
17:49
we have some weed shit
17:49
here. Let's let's party. It's a wedding. Well, I got a
17:52
feeling it
17:52
was late. So New Year's Eve
17:54
a while back, I I just got out of college and
17:57
me and my boys went to this party, and
17:59
we brought this shit called booth
18:00
juice. It was just supposed to
18:01
be for us. You're gonna say ruthless when I was getting nervous.
18:04
Well, booth juice is
18:06
basically orange juice ever clear
18:08
and, like, 6XSC pills put
18:11
into it. And it was just supposed to be for us,
18:13
but they put it out on the table and we didn't stop
18:15
anybody. And that whole party was
18:16
lit. Nice. That party was lit up, boy. That
18:18
was still to this day, probably, the best New Year's
18:20
Eve party. Gotcha. Limitations, bro. Easy. Yeah.
18:23
You're going to jail. Yeah.
18:25
These are all jokes.
18:26
Who's it? Allegedly.
18:27
Yeah. This is the story.
18:28
I by the way, great idea for episode a
18:31
thousand. Hey, guys. Hey, guys.
18:32
Those those channels. So that's you. Yeah. Yeah. You
18:34
you shouldn't take anything I'd say, sir. You shouldn't
18:36
on episode one. Product up on episode one
18:38
thousand that you want, we'll get, like, I have some of the
18:41
a fan gave me GHB
18:43
or one of these crazy fucking high
18:45
end designer
18:45
drugs. We should all just take drugs on the side. H. B. Is
18:48
the date
18:48
rape drug. Is that it? Yeah. He
18:51
says no English. No. It's Sastafres.
18:55
Sassafrast is what they gave me. Whatever like that
18:57
that is. Do you you
18:58
ever done DMT? Yeah.
19:00
I'm very interested in doing DMT.
19:02
It sucks. Really? Yeah.
19:04
Interesting. Did you see the slugs?
19:05
Sucks. Why
19:06
did you
19:07
say so? First of all, I I read this
19:09
actually. Shannon, look this story up. Black people,
19:11
when they do DMT,
19:13
they've been encountering racist entities.
19:16
The elves are racist. The gnomes are racist.
19:18
They're
19:18
called police, Louis. Got it.
19:20
I don't know if you
19:23
look this up. This is what I got.
19:25
The gnome show
19:25
up. Okay. There is it looking
19:28
on right now. Yeah. Did look
19:30
shit. Look this up, Shannon. Is that on play
19:31
around? I'm sorry. Psychedelic Privilege are
19:33
DMT's entities racist. DMT users
19:35
often come across strange beings called machine
19:38
elves. Dispensing advice and adventure. They
19:40
were thought to be a benevolent, but we can no longer ignore
19:42
the fact that you
19:43
see. This is a real article.
19:47
What what what what
19:48
is vice what was that? It's
19:51
affru dot com AFRU
19:54
dot com. Say
19:55
Why why did they make the eyes behind the
19:58
guy fucking Lincoln? Oh,
19:59
I thought that they were playing with the a pothole. Is that is
20:02
that so
20:02
now that so it's answering It's
20:04
either Lincoln I was trying to figure
20:05
out that they were monkey eyes.
20:07
I could be. It
20:08
could be. They don't like monkey eyes, and
20:10
that would be a little bit racist again.
20:13
It's either
20:14
it's either Lincoln or a monkey and it's not good
20:16
either way.
20:16
The missing Lincoln? The
20:19
monkey is that. Shana,
20:22
do you mean if you ever read that article and then come
20:24
back to us and tell us what it is?
20:25
Are you mixed? No. No? What
20:27
are you? I am Italian, Dutch, and German.
20:29
Really? Italian, Dutch, German.
20:32
Wow. It's
20:33
Italian though. Right? Oh,
20:34
yeah. Give me the next
20:36
word to start. Okay. Alright. So
20:38
yeah. Give me the next weirdest crime scene. Okay. I joined just to read
20:40
it, and I'll show you the picture. Yeah. Sure. Okay. So
20:42
it's a UK
20:42
teen car thief. Don't fucking
20:45
tell me, because I can't read. I I understand.
20:47
I I fucked up reading a couple of them. I can read it.
20:49
Give it back to me. Gotta do it again. Fuck
20:51
you. UK cartoon,
20:53
Up. Up.
20:54
Up. Up. Take
20:56
three. I'm so high. I'm really
20:58
legit. I think I don't know how you're here.
21:00
I've got to be honest with
21:01
you. I gotta honest with yeah.
21:03
We had a good time. Yeah. Gotcha.
21:05
UK team,
21:06
Carthy, have caught hiding in giant
21:08
stuff, Teddy Bear. Wow.
21:11
So he was running from the cops and
21:13
then he there's the giant
21:14
lady there. Buddl's blown out.
21:16
So does this mean is this does he identify as
21:19
a furry that how this goes?
21:20
Joshua Dobson.
21:21
That's just crazy. He has to
21:24
be Joshua Dobson
21:26
eighteen was arrested in
21:28
July near Manchester in suspicion of charges of
21:30
motor vehicle
21:30
theft. Yeah. That's all alright. That's
21:33
funny. Cash. You can't go to the next one. This
21:35
bit stinks. Oh, it's not. I just thought
21:36
they're interesting. Yeah. Yeah. You know
21:37
that there's kids that so there's
21:40
kids that identify as furies now and
21:42
we'll just meow in school
21:44
and this is allowed. Like This
21:46
is, like, the they have to, like, like,
21:48
placate to them. Like, that's a Wow. That's
21:50
true. Like, no. That's dead ass
21:52
serious. Well,
21:53
something up. I wouldn't I wouldn't see these furry kids. They'll just be
21:55
like, yeah.
21:55
They'll just be they'll just answer them me out. And
21:57
and it's like you can't make fun of them because this
21:59
is what they
22:01
like, identify The bachelors got a bit
22:02
about it and have one of the the kids into his
22:04
daughter's class as a tiger.
22:06
What? Yes. I understand. Why did they all
22:08
seem to be a cat? If that's
22:09
the case, just take them out of school to put a bit of fuck
22:12
at Zoom. See how quickly they wanna be a human
22:14
again. Not a bad point. Yeah.
22:16
I I will I'm very lucky that my son,
22:18
he just sorta has a level head even though he's,
22:20
like, part of this new
22:20
generation. He's not, like,
22:23
like, did I tell you this the other day? I
22:25
asked him
22:26
I said something about him
22:28
being gay. I don't know. I was like making fun of him or
22:30
something. I don't remember exactly what it was. But
22:32
he just saw almost, like, a head and attitude was, like,
22:34
gay. That'd be weird. And was like,
22:36
really? I was like, you know that it's weird. And I didn't
22:38
say that to him, but I was like, I was like, yes, dude. Get
22:40
to it. Like, he I was weirdly
22:43
proud I'm not saying that being gay is
22:44
weird. No. What I'm saying is
22:46
that dick is. It shouldn't be, like, it's been
22:48
so normalized and so, like,
22:51
overcorrected that it's,
22:53
like, I just feel like in
22:55
my mind, I was like, we're gonna have a whole
22:57
new generation of gays that aren't really even
22:59
gay.
22:59
Yeah. But
23:00
I still think that most kids are
23:02
going like, no. Still kind of funny. What's the trans thing in our
23:04
lay? Like, ten percent of the kids are are identified as
23:06
non binary. No. Trans. Yeah. Yeah. No.
23:08
That's there's
23:09
no way
23:09
that's a real number. I swear to god. And
23:11
that's so that they brought it up in congress. And they were like, well well, one of
23:13
two things is happening. Either trans people are
23:16
being ridiculously suppressed
23:19
in the Midwest because it's less than one percent of one percent
23:22
identified, or it's being promoted in
23:24
LA because
23:24
it's, like, up to ten percent. Of course.
23:25
And they're, like, well, which
23:26
ones happening here? Well,
23:28
it's definitely definitely being promoted. And and
23:30
gay being gay is not weird. I just, like, as
23:32
a joke, as a guy growing up as an
23:35
athlete, like, you know, give me one
23:37
gig at it. It's like, yeah, I suck dick, but I could
23:39
also run A44 And I'd be
23:40
like, alright, my dude. Yeah. Fuck you. Like, I
23:42
mean, they're out there probably. Right? There's gotta
23:44
be some That's better be sad.
23:45
There was some there was some MMA fighters that
23:47
were gay rights. There's no there's
23:48
no one dooley. Yeah. There
23:50
was the one
23:51
there was the one you did gay porn. Yeah.
23:54
Dakota
23:55
thing. It was like
23:55
cock ring. This is like Yeah.
23:57
It was something like that. Dakota Cochrane. Yeah. Yeah.
23:59
Dakota Cochrane, I think it was his name, dude.
24:01
Look at me and Vicky. I feel like we didn't watch
24:03
his tape horn.
24:05
No. You guys we've watched it on skinks. I was
24:07
pissed about it. Last night, I didn't watch it on getting
24:09
pegged on skinks. I don't know why you do this to
24:10
me. I don't know why you do this myself. Are you this
24:12
is a choice that you make, dude? No. It's
24:14
know. You're a go
24:15
to Cochrane, dude. He was who are
24:18
there openly gay I think he
24:19
was gay for the pay. Think he was gay for
24:22
You know? Technically, everyone's gay for pay. Everyone's
24:24
got a price. Every
24:27
everyone, Gerard, what's
24:30
your price? Shockingly low.
24:33
Shockingly
24:33
low. I love a dick in the
24:34
ass. How
24:36
big is
24:37
the dick? Average size.
24:40
What's average size? To
24:42
me? Yeah. Four inches.
24:46
I don't
24:46
know. I don't know. A six inch
24:49
right up your poop. Shoot. It's it's
24:51
hard to say when the
24:52
money is down on the table. You
24:54
know what I'm saying? It's like, if if that's real money, dollars cash,
24:58
tax free. Somebody puts
25:00
ten thousand dollars right in front me
25:02
or, like, So how long are we talking
25:03
here? What's the duration? Gerard's
25:06
gotta
25:06
fucking step it up a little bit in
25:09
life. Ten thousand. That's it.
25:11
Hey. If it's on
25:11
the table, on the table
25:12
Unfortunately, that's also and I have to know it. Also, yeah. That
25:15
there's a lot of the Anywhere. So there
25:17
at ten thousand is way
25:19
too low. Guys. For
25:21
for cocking the ass. It is
25:23
substantially too
25:23
low. I got bills to pay. Yeah.
25:27
I don't say, guys. Yeah. Well, I was just saying, you tried
25:29
different. What does anyone know? I was just I was
25:31
just asking you two minutes of the stipulation. Oh,
25:33
shit. Sorry. You go, wow. Wow.
25:35
We get real ass.
25:38
Thank you. It's time to get
25:40
real
25:40
ass. But here's your
25:43
hair now. Nice. Solid. Have you
25:45
ever realized? This is the Like
25:46
by producers who built the way yet Wait.
25:49
What? Mark the Akisi. I
25:51
didn't know that. He just fought Michael
25:52
Johnson, like, two weeks ago. Is
25:55
that facts? He played with Michael
25:56
Johnson as well two nights ago.
26:00
Starts taking your back. No. No. No.
26:02
No. I don't
26:02
know.
26:02
It was nice. Yeah. This is
26:04
the only other male gig USC
26:06
fighter I could find. Wow.
26:08
What what's
26:08
the publication here? Law
26:10
of the fist dot com. Is that is
26:12
that a
26:12
reputable place? I hope that's a really
26:15
nice thing. Alright.
26:20
Let's see. Shannon, let's go
26:23
to Twitter night.
26:25
Fuck. Now to get your
26:27
ass kicked by a couple of dozen people.
26:30
My motherfuckers is sachets. Oh,
26:33
no.
26:35
Alright. So there's a thirty four year old woman who
26:38
lost her eye and she reveals how
26:40
strangers treat her. We're gonna
26:42
figure out if this one is toy or
26:44
nigh Let's say,
26:46
oh my
26:47
Christ. So
26:49
when she was thirty, she was diagnosed with
26:51
a tumor, but it was between her eye
26:53
and her brain. And so the only way they could remove
26:55
it was What the fuck is the picture on the
26:57
right? I think she's being silly.
26:59
Why should we It looks like her eyeballs
27:01
coming out of
27:02
her ride. That's what is I don't even understand what's
27:04
going on. Is that is this Halloween or is this It
27:06
it doesn't
27:07
I think
27:08
I just covered it up, so I can't tell that's a forever
27:10
thing. No.
27:11
This is they so they decided to instead of
27:13
replace it with a glass eye or something, they just
27:15
used skin.
27:16
Why? I
27:17
mean, it's pretty toy.
27:18
All things
27:19
considered pretty toy. Yeah. She's like
27:22
a hot Batman villain. Yeah,
27:24
dude. I'm not
27:24
into it at all. nobody would not
27:27
Nobody nobody's choosy in, Mickey. I'm
27:29
I'm alright. Nobody's saying we we
27:31
want that to be our girlfriend's
27:32
eye. I need to We
27:34
Okay. I gotta see it a little out half. Too shallow to make
27:36
a real That's actually a good point too. Let's just see it
27:38
a little out half.
27:40
I don't think I'm in. If
27:41
even with two papers, you're not. Two papers, I'm not
27:44
in Christ. What's wrong with you, Mike?
27:45
Very high stakes. I gotta tell you, I think the
27:47
mole kinda throws me off more than the eye.
27:49
I don't wanna say it, but Yeah. A little bit.
27:52
Right?
27:52
Alright. So
27:52
I'd go one eye rather than one
27:54
more. Dogg, she's the pretty gout. She got one
27:56
pretty eye. The beautiful eye right
27:59
there. She, by the way, it takes her the time to do her eye makeup, which
28:01
is nice. Right. Take her. Take
28:03
her my ass. Eleven thousand for a night with her. No.
28:05
Stop it. I would smash in
28:08
a hard
28:08
feet. Are you kidding me this gal? And honestly, she would fucking
28:10
treat you like a king. She would go crazy,
28:12
but she has to do her
28:15
eyeshadow
28:15
blind. Because she has
28:17
to close her one good eye that is to
28:19
link up on. So it probably takes her just
28:21
as long. If not longer,
28:23
than a girl with two what? You know what? Fuck this. But the fuck is
28:25
wrong with you that that's what you thought about with you. Because
28:27
he said she does her makeup fast because half
28:30
the
28:30
time, I'm saying longer because
28:31
you gotta deal blind. Can I say very
28:34
it sucks very pretty eyes. Pretty tight
28:36
for a fucking chick You don't
28:38
know why that No. Fuck. We have we have always seen it for one
28:40
to walk up there. So one to eight Will she talk
28:42
like a pirate in
28:43
bed? Yes. And
28:46
her depth reception's gonna be off. So she's
28:48
like she's like jacking it. She's gonna be
28:49
like she's slamming the balls. No. Stop
28:52
saying the hard r.
28:55
The guy who's just putting
28:57
goddamn tight, all things considered. I I don't
28:59
have an issue with this, bitch. And can we
29:01
see your body
29:01
share? We got
29:02
a body shot to find her Instagram
29:04
is private. I wasn't able to find any school buy
29:07
pictures.
29:07
Racist protesters are harassing her.
29:09
This is
29:10
the closest vegan sito, but the rest of her
29:12
I mean, like, she's playful. She put that
29:14
that shows personality. Got a good
29:16
personality. Yeah.
29:18
I'd I'd rob a bag with
29:21
her. Yeah.
29:22
And she's
29:22
gonna be running into the door and
29:25
shit. I
29:25
was just I
29:26
just feel, like, you know, that Where is it just
29:29
to have her for Halloween?
29:30
She's from
29:31
Australia? Yes.
29:32
Oh, cool accent.
29:33
My bossy Broads goes up a point.
29:36
Yep.
29:36
She said, good eye. You might that's
29:38
not a good eye. My
29:41
good eye.
29:42
No. That's really bad, actually.
29:45
Alright. These are
29:45
good
29:45
jokes, guys. I'm trying to I like
29:47
that one. I like that one. I like the the folks.
29:50
I'm a punny guy. Everyone knows
29:52
that. Let's see. Let's see.
29:54
Ugandan man, twelve
29:56
wives, one hundred and two children
29:58
and over two hundred grandchildren. That's sick.
30:00
Finally, besides stop having kids
30:02
due to the rise rising
30:04
cost of living.
30:06
So he
30:06
actually has five hundred and sixty eight
30:08
grandchildren. I thought he had two
30:09
hundred and somewhat grandchildren, Shannon. Oh, man.
30:11
This guy's my fucking hair.
30:12
I'm putting with my coffee. I This
30:14
guy's my hair. To give
30:16
you a coffee a while ago. You want that many children?
30:18
I think
30:18
I yeah. I'd I'd I aspire to
30:20
have multiple ones. Five Exactly. Well, that's the
30:22
thing. My whole believe a
30:25
documentary that just came out where it's like,
30:27
you know, they're they're really focusing so
30:29
much on him wanting to have a sex
30:30
cult. And I'm like, okay. That's not that
30:33
bad. That's kinda cool, actually. I understand that.
30:35
Nice
30:35
bit. Because I'm talking about up his loop.
30:37
Yeah.
30:37
That many nerds came out. He
30:39
wants
30:39
to have a sex. I
30:40
don't want to have a sex call. The problem was -- What's the latest? -- teenage sex
30:43
call. That was that's usually
30:44
an adult sex
30:45
call. You're not talking about
30:46
our I thought you're talking about our Kelly here. You're
30:48
really talking about
30:49
think there's a lot of guys out there that
30:51
Who doesn't want a fucking hair? That's true. I
30:53
mean, who what's the what are what are we trying to
30:55
get
30:55
all Richard Vazante here when we're picked from the
30:58
bathroom? It's a bunch of old bitch. You're fucking with me. Right? That's
31:00
right.
31:00
Yeah. That's right. No. I'm not. I swear
31:02
to God. That was,
31:03
like, not put a number on things, but
31:05
not paying for the whole thing. I don't think I know the whole thing.
31:07
The whole thing. You don't know the whole thing about
31:10
Chris Delia? No. I'll just send you a
31:12
link. We've talked about it so much in this way. And I
31:14
don't know if even
31:14
sure. Like, people can make a documentary and say anything.
31:17
Like, so I felt bad, you know,
31:19
continuously That's
31:19
one of those things that's like -- Trevor's gonna
31:22
use Skype. -- if you're poor.
31:23
No. Who gank. Because at this point, you know, for, you know, for pennies on the
31:26
dollar. You know, ahead of your mind. Trash if
31:28
you
31:28
keep working that value risk. You know,
31:30
day in a teenager. Classy if Classy if
31:32
you're rich, Trashy if you're poor.
31:34
Class, if you're rich I think it's I think the the
31:36
rich people are Is it now McJagger, like, fucking
31:38
with a nineteen year old or something that guy's ninety? Look,
31:40
I got no problem with When I'm ninety years old,
31:42
if I get a nineteen year old girl, thank you very
31:45
much, Caitlin.
31:45
Mike, this I don't know why this coffee is a
31:47
weird color
31:48
though. Cream. A
31:51
blind guy made it. Yeah. Looks
31:53
not good. Alright. So
31:55
let's see. What is this Ugandan guy?
31:58
Let me see him. So
32:00
this is with some of his kids. All of his
32:02
wives, he has them all live in the same
32:04
house, so that he can make sure that they're not
32:06
full wandering with other men.
32:08
Mhmm.
32:08
And, yeah, most of his kids also
32:11
live on his farm. How many
32:13
I'm
32:13
sorry. What are the numbers again? How many kids?
32:15
How many grand twelve wives, a hundred and two kids, and
32:17
five hundred and sixty eight grand kids. Gosh, do
32:19
I love them. What's his name? He should
32:22
be on money or something. On
32:24
money. It's
32:27
Changing my
32:29
name to that. Out of respect.
32:33
Polygomy is legal. His wives are
32:35
considering taking birth control to pull this
32:37
up the family from growing. That's a lot. It's a
32:39
lot of kids. It's too much. It's There was
32:41
a time in my life where I was like, I could have two
32:43
girlfriends. Like, a two live in girlfriends that,
32:46
you know, fucking, they cook, they
32:48
clean, they fucking take care of yourself.
32:50
Like that is just ultimately the
32:52
fantasy. But I will say that
32:54
girls that are willing to do that. Because I've
32:56
had a couple checks who sort of,
32:58
like, had that, like, vibe. They're always a
33:00
little bit fucking
33:00
wacky. That's what I'm
33:01
saying. Out of three months, if you know you're getting
33:03
a couple whack Oh, yeah. There were couple snakes in
33:05
the grass there. Well, even
33:07
there though, in Africa, I
33:09
wonder
33:09
how, like, how
33:10
weird that is. Like, in his village,
33:13
do a lot of guys take on multiple wives.
33:16
Like, in your
33:16
God, I have no idea. I can tell you one thing
33:18
based on watching nine today fiance. Please.
33:20
That there is a guy that lives in Africa.
33:23
I'm just not sure of exactly where, but
33:25
he's dating a girl from the
33:27
United States of an older woman, of
33:29
course, and he made an agreement with her. You probably know the
33:32
there was one Yes. Exactly.
33:34
And so, like, he made her agree that
33:36
he can still have additional wives
33:38
but he convinces her the reason why he has
33:40
to do it is because she's too old to have kids
33:42
so that he can have kids with
33:43
them. But it is, yeah, expected around ten
33:46
multiple
33:46
times. Exploit her innermost fucking insecurity.
33:49
Solid. Exactly. Yeah. It's all
33:50
that you got on the plane with a PSA. Right. There was
33:52
a
33:52
vaccine. You're so you're so
33:55
old. you when nobody else will
33:57
on the condition of, I get
33:59
to fuck whoever I
34:00
want. Shannon, are you aware that you're clear to
34:02
do that? now where men are gonna have to
34:04
take on younger wives because your eggs have
34:06
dried
34:06
up. No, I think I'm
34:07
just I'm just good, I
34:09
think. how would that conversation go with you
34:11
if somebody was like, hey, I like
34:14
you, but I like you better as a a
34:16
throttle? No.
34:17
hard -- No. -- hike now. -- never could never
34:20
do it in a million years. Nope. I don't wanna because
34:22
I like, when I am involved, like, there's, like,
34:24
a jealous like, I've just I'd rather not
34:26
deal with the headache
34:27
all, then have to deal with that. Yeah. But if you
34:29
have a headache, he she could tag her in,
34:31
and you look at the fucking nap, and then she's
34:33
fucking what if your
34:34
wife came up to you one day and was like,
34:37
I love you. That I wanna be in a throttle. With another
34:39
man, another
34:39
man, I would poke her
34:41
eye out. That's what happened with that girl. That's what happened
34:43
with that
34:43
girl. Yeah. They had
34:44
to make up a cancer backstory. Yeah. She
34:46
fucking You know, I wanna have, like, kill Bill -- Mhmm. --
34:48
fuck that bitch. Get out of the horn nasty
34:51
bitch. But but Shannon's also, well, not
34:53
even I every time we talk about it, it gets me
34:55
angry, so I wouldn't say that, Shannon. This
34:57
is what a selfish woman you are. Natalie,
34:59
could you be in a threpple, Natalie, in
35:01
a serious threpple, not just a sexual thing.
35:04
Not not a threesome. But I'm talking about,
35:06
like, serious relationship. Because Natalie's from
35:08
this generation of non binary
35:10
fucking Polyumi
35:12
fucking who
35:13
You say, no. You're racist, heishe,
35:15
bbbs, weebulos. Right? Natalie? Yeah.
35:18
Yeah. So could you could you get
35:20
into
35:21
something like that? I
35:22
think it would be difficult for me, but I also it's never been
35:25
presented, so I I wouldn't rule it out.
35:27
So but my
35:29
good minded shit so
35:31
open minded. Yeah. Yeah. This is why this
35:33
generation is so
35:34
fucking open
35:34
to manipulation. You are a manipulative
35:37
fucking asshole. This generation is
35:40
just right for
35:40
you, man. Yeah. That's why I
35:41
like them. I'm looking me on. You have to
35:43
really take
35:43
advantage. So you'd be open to that,
35:46
Nelly. I it would have stars
35:48
would have to align perfectly, I think. Well, with
35:50
a guy though,
35:50
with
35:51
a guy and a gal. That's that's
35:52
the best for me because then I get one of
35:55
each. Why would you and your girlfriend be
35:57
my Trouble checks. My girlfriend's not
35:59
into men. Whatever.
36:00
She needs to chill. She
36:02
needs to fucking start being cool
36:05
for once. Sick of
36:07
it. She'll
36:07
lesbian. Yeah. She'll be a
36:10
lesbian. We gathered,
36:11
like, to exclusion
36:12
that out. I'm
36:13
not. But my girlfriend is. Okay.
36:15
You're not a lesbian, but
36:17
No. I'm
36:17
I'm I'm bi. I'm in the middle of it. That's
36:19
even sick. Prove it.
36:20
Come over here. It sucks, Mickey. --
36:21
sounds awesome. Come on. For ten thousand
36:24
dollars. Come
36:24
on, dude.
36:25
No. What's wrong
36:25
with you? She's a fucking real human being, man.
36:27
It is Natalie.
36:28
Body is not on the table. Natalie,
36:31
I'm sorry. Gals, Give me give
36:33
me a little dance.
36:36
Empty. Give me a little dance.
36:40
Keep it sexy producers. You guys got you guys
36:41
got Omry. Yuck. Who
36:44
did that? Fucking puke is disgusting.
36:46
Who made that assignment? Yeah. I don't know
36:48
if I can have that many wives. I but there was there
36:51
was a time in my life where I was like, that was
36:53
it, dude. I was like, I wanna two
36:55
fucking checks to be, like, my live in girlfriend.
36:57
But think about it. That's fucking that's
37:00
twice as many PTA meetings. That's twice as
37:02
many eight AM soccer
37:03
games. I mean, fucking No.
37:04
No. Not twice the kids. You think
37:05
that guy that guy's got a hundred
37:07
and six kids. Yeah. Of course. That's like I'm a
37:09
take a lot of fucking
37:12
That's There's a lot of Kishan. Not about the kids. It's really about that. also
37:14
need the Kishan for PTA meetings.
37:16
No. He's fuck. He's blessed.
37:20
These kids are lucky he's still there. It's crazy. He's making up for all
37:22
other black men that we are by being there for
37:25
a hundred and six years. He's doing a
37:27
lot of heavy lifting. Yeah. Yeah.
37:30
Alright. Let's take a quick moment and thank yolked him dot com
37:32
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38:00
Alright. Where were we?
38:02
What is this sports reporter? He went viral
38:04
for being cranky during
38:06
Blizzard coverage. I guess it's a sports reporter they put up
38:08
on the the weather.
38:10
And oh, yeah. Saw this show. I
38:12
didn't see it. Yeah. He was out in the
38:14
cold. Yeah.
38:14
Let's see. This guy's competing with the African guy for
38:17
real estate of the week right now.
38:18
Again, the same way
38:21
I felt about eight minutes ago when
38:23
you asked me that same question. I I
38:26
normally do sports. Everything is
38:28
canceled here for the next couple of
38:30
days. So what better time to ask the sports guy to come
38:32
in about five hours normally earlier
38:34
than he would normally wake up, go
38:37
stand out in wind and the snow and the cold and
38:39
tell other people not to do the same. I didn't
38:41
even realize that there was a three
38:44
thirty also in
38:46
the
38:46
morning. Until today. It's absolutely fantastic. Right?
38:48
You know, I I like to see these evening
38:50
shows that are only thirty minutes
38:53
long and generally on
38:55
those shows I'm inside. So this is a
38:58
really long show tune in for the next
39:00
couple hours to watch me
39:02
progressively get
39:04
crankier and crankier.
39:06
How do I get that story here? Seven
39:08
duty. I I feel like Clint got the
39:11
better end of that deal. You
39:13
know, that thing's heated the outdoors currently
39:15
is not heated. Well, I'll tell you what, Ryan.
39:17
I've I've got good news and and I've
39:19
got bad news.
39:22
Good news. Is that I can still face
39:24
now. The bad news is I kind of
39:26
wish I couldn't. Can I
39:28
go back to my
39:30
regular job. I'm pretty sure Ryan
39:32
that you guys
39:32
asked. Mark Wilde, they realized, dude. Yeah.
39:35
That was very Why do
39:37
the news? Why does the news have those guys do that? It's
39:40
kinda crazy that that's still a thing that's
39:42
good news. The joke, you're just standing
39:44
outside,
39:45
like the news. Like, the way that we sort of can like,
39:47
they think you're, like,
39:48
alright. We're gonna have, like, a a TV set now
39:50
with, like, thirty people behind the cameras and
39:52
a person in the suit. And it's
39:55
like nobody really consumes the news that way. Nobody. Like, most people are just getting
39:57
it on the Internet. Like, I wonder what the the numbers are
39:59
on, like, this I think it's gotta
40:01
be for old people.
40:03
But it's got like,
40:03
the arthur shoved somebody
40:04
right into the eye of a fucking hurricane with
40:07
a with an umbrella and they're like, yeah, it's
40:09
raining out. It's a hurricane, but just even like
40:11
the the traditional format of, like, Alright. And
40:13
now we're gonna go over to the weather guy, then they pan over to a guy, and he's in
40:15
front of a green screen doing this, and it's so
40:17
like from the sixties. Like, it just doesn't
40:19
really make sense that
40:21
silly thing that we're even, you know, doing.
40:24
It'll probably
40:24
be phased out by the time you're old.
40:26
Probably. I know my my aunt
40:30
was watching watched days of our lives, her entire life. I've watched days of her lives
40:32
my entire life. Since I was a fucking
40:34
child. Okay? I remember
40:36
one of my first
40:38
crushes. Yeah. When my first crush is ever was billy on days of
40:40
our
40:40
life. It's that's a huge cute No.
40:42
No.
40:42
No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
40:44
No. No. No. No. No. No. No. You guys
40:48
are just Luis Love. She's a billie. Louis Love. Do
40:50
Krista Allen. She was also you
40:52
guys will know her because she was the hot
40:54
girl in the elevator and a
40:56
liar liar.
40:57
Okay. Oh, yeah.
40:58
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. I know
41:00
you're talking about it. Well, Chris to Allan. She did
41:02
play ball. Why not, Chad, shouldn't it?
41:05
That's not Chris to Erez. Don't
41:07
do it. That's that's Kirsty Allen. She's gotten
41:09
so much surgery at this point. Go back to
41:11
her. Did
41:12
she just die? No. That's Kirsty Allen. Oh,
41:14
excuse me. I thought it Chris. Oh, hey. That Kirsty
41:16
out. Who the fuck is that? Oh,
41:19
that's not Chris. She's good, though.
41:22
No. That's Krista b l. And that's other some
41:24
other bitch. She's hot though. She is cute, but that's
41:26
not her. KRISTA
41:30
Shannon.
41:31
One of my first crushes.
41:34
Man. Oh, shoot the fucking
41:35
cameras? Yeah, dude. She was
41:36
fucking That's a bit.
41:38
She's old as
41:39
fuck. Now. That's a good
41:39
cheek to dimple
41:40
ratio right there. Pull up young, Krista Allen
41:42
Shannon. She's also in
41:43
anger management. She was in anger
41:45
management. You're right. Well, well, she's one of the lesbians.
41:49
Sex addicts, lesbians? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
41:51
Yeah. Yeah. I remember now. Yeah. She
41:54
was she was so fucking bad ass dude. And I
41:56
remember as a kid, just being old. You know, I
41:58
fucking loved
41:59
her. She
41:59
kinda reminds me of Yasmin Bleath. Remember her
42:01
Yasmin Bleath by evening? Oh, it has
42:03
me it doesn't mean. Yeah. She was
42:05
a fucking goddamn smoke show. But I would
42:07
watch this. And they they just they just took
42:09
days of our lives off of television. My aunt,
42:11
whose eighty five results has been watching this. I
42:13
mean, for forty, fifty years at least, however long
42:15
it's been on, my been watching because of our lives. And
42:17
they just took it off television, and they put it on the peacock gap. And then
42:20
for three months, she didn't she never mentioned
42:22
anything. I mean, she's just been silently being
42:24
tortured because she doesn't
42:26
have a work the peacock app on
42:28
the TV. So I eventually had, like, teacher, and it's so it's so
42:30
intuitive. Like, you go,
42:32
no. You press the fuck.
42:34
Obviously the middle button and you fucking just scroll. What is what? Like,
42:36
but the old people, they just don't really
42:38
understand. It's very interesting to sort of
42:40
watch them try to back in my day.
42:44
You just heard all the television. What the things of my lives came up?
42:46
It's genuinely easier than figuring
42:48
out like a remote control from even ten
42:50
years
42:51
ago. Like, these new, like
42:53
Yeah. Going through channels, it's just a little big change,
42:54
man. Yeah. Going through channels is
42:55
kinda tough. You gotta find the guide and, like, there's,
42:58
like, a lot
43:00
TV's got six
43:01
I don't even know how to text. Click the button in the middle, and I just say
43:03
the word. I'm like peacock channel, and it
43:05
doesn't get born. Find me a
43:07
guy who wanna pay that
43:09
down. Ten thousand dollars need need money
43:11
ASAP. Please. Genius forebought.
43:14
That's what they do
43:17
at Ants By the way, if anybody ever needs a cash advance, that's
43:19
what they like. You can either pay thirty six
43:21
to thirty seven percent on
43:22
Yeah. Look up what's the the a fast way to
43:24
make cash. I used to do this I
43:27
was younger. I would look up like, what's I was so broke. I was like, which is
43:29
a fast way to make cash? And I could never find anything. There's just
43:31
not there's not like what's
43:34
what's the fact Have you ever tried to be her own? You know, it's for newer, buddy. You had to
43:36
make one thousand dollars in cold hard
43:38
cash tomorrow.
43:39
Like, how do you guys donating
43:42
sperm
43:43
go for? Alright. Legally or illegal? I think it more
43:45
for plasma. Plasma? I think that's the thing you
43:47
have to do. Like, for
43:50
like, have a thousand dollars, obviously. But, like, let's just say I have no money. And I
43:52
I didn't have a pot, like, what would I
43:54
do to make a thousand dollars by
43:56
tomorrow? By selling
43:58
shit, or, like I guess, Robin
44:00
Banks are on top of all the cameras and
44:02
stuff nowadays. Yeah.
44:03
Is there even cash at banks anymore? Like, how much
44:06
money do you actually get away with? I think we're there has
44:08
to be cash at banks. I'm just gonna give you
44:10
gold bars. I mean, I have no
44:11
idea. Hey. Give
44:12
me a gold bars. That's what's behind the fucking
44:14
thing. What's behind the count of how? It's
44:16
like seventeen dollars. He uses cash
44:19
there's gotta be some cash in there
44:21
somewhere. Right? Yeah. I I you're probably
44:23
better off if you had to rob something,
44:25
you'd probably better off you know, getting an ATM bushy out
44:27
of, like, a Bodega. So What would I what would I
44:29
rob if I had Oh, no. Let's come up with
44:31
a scheme right
44:31
now, though. I mean, if I if
44:34
I
44:34
had to come up with cash You have a car?
44:36
I do have a car. You have a car? Then
44:37
Rob a construction site. I mean,
44:40
Rob a car
44:40
Well, I
44:40
get all the copper. Get all the copper.
44:42
Guys, can we just not a lot of people. What do you You
44:45
just said what's the best place
44:45
to rob? Well, you're not gonna rob
44:47
a place necessarily. You could just come up with something
44:49
for, like, a thousand
44:51
dollars. Or do it do something fucking Was
44:52
it did that lady get caught panhandleage, but
44:55
she worked at, like, JC1
44:56
women, like, you guys could literally suck
45:00
two dicks pretty easily. Gals. A thousand
45:02
dollars just where you just understand where you
45:04
have it. A thousand dollars Shannon
45:07
with her status at Gas Digital. Yeah. She can easily throw something
45:09
out there by carrying me a little bit of cashola
45:12
boys on Instagram. Some
45:14
guys being
45:16
her DM. Like, I'll suck the cock dry for five hundred dollars. Five hundred dollars.
45:18
Actually, Shannon, if you just the first guy tried to go for
45:20
two thousand, but I'll suck the cock directly off
45:22
your body. For two thousand
45:24
dollars, you'll probably get to take her even for
45:26
one guy and get double what you
45:27
needed, and then give me the thousand. And that's how I
45:29
would make my money. Pipp. It'd be a it'd
45:31
be a Pipp. the
45:32
deck. We both get our thousand.
45:35
Arbitrage. You'd you'd arbitrage head. I like
45:37
it. Yeah. I'd arbitrage
45:38
it. I don't
45:39
know what that
45:40
means. Either way. I've never said
45:42
that word in
45:43
my mouth. Shannon
45:44
two thousand dollars, would that be enough
45:46
or
45:47
no? No.
45:47
I mean, not unless, like, my parents
45:49
were gonna be murdered if I didn't
45:52
have two dogs.
45:52
Yeah. Okay. If I have your parents gun to both their
45:54
heads, you have to let me eat your ass.
45:57
I
45:57
mean, if the other option was is it one of them
46:00
or both of them was gonna be
46:02
killed?
46:02
Both. Both. They're both that
46:05
just so you know each other.
46:06
And The logistics of that alone. Dude, you're you're
46:08
having a gun to You're a good head
46:10
while your face is a champion. You're a good
46:13
man. You're a good person.
46:16
Shares in front of you. And then she would be bent over. So you
46:18
would have gun here, gun here, they'd be
46:20
sitting. No.
46:21
No. No. It's a no. You guys
46:23
got he's got bombs. Strap
46:25
to him, and he's got one of those dummy wires. So as soon
46:27
as he he lets
46:28
go, they're gone. You know, so he
46:29
gotta hold
46:30
on. Which means, Shannon, you have to spread
46:32
your own ass cheeks too, by the way, the
46:35
logistics of working out -- Well --
46:36
at that point. You just do
46:37
it. Just let them go. Yeah. I
46:39
guess so. There was a time,
46:40
like It looked
46:41
it was about a year, a year, a year and
46:43
a half ago a pandemic was really getting the Shannon,
46:45
and I almost convinced her just to go to Jamaica on
46:47
a romantic vacation. She was, like, she
46:49
was, like, negotiating a sex she would
46:51
have to have with me. She was, like,
46:53
like, once per day with a converse No.
46:55
I think where it got close was
46:57
going to Miami. For my boop. For you get to pay for my
46:59
boobs to be
47:00
redone, but you were gonna go with me. I had to go
47:02
with you and share hotel room, and we're gonna get
47:05
crazy. Yeah. Post op or
47:07
pre op. She got hired down the line.
47:09
She's my employee, Mickey. I think
47:11
it's illegal. You've implicated
47:14
yourself
47:15
both fella's a little Did hold the
47:17
gun to my head today and order me to take my clothes off. I
47:19
did. Give me that. Give me
47:20
that. I put right there right to take your fucking clothes off.
47:23
And then Natalie giggled. And I was like, wow, Natalie, you really
47:25
have changed. You know, it's actually
47:28
harassment. I'm watching Natalie laugh at
47:29
it. I was like, Well, I suddenly
47:31
don't feel
47:31
safe with the gun in Lewisville today. He's really well, you know, that
47:33
sucker run. There's there's a
47:34
there's a There is a
47:35
there's a Russian relaxer going, alright,
47:38
let's talk.
47:40
And here's the thing. This is, like, how powerful, like,
47:42
a real gun is. Like, just this
47:44
right here. Uh-huh. Like, like, I've
47:47
You're gonna have your one eye, brother. You're gonna
47:49
have the sugar. You know the figure of
47:51
the sugar. Dude, it really does.
47:54
It's so dude, you pull that sugar.
47:56
I will fucking. So nerve
47:57
wracking. He's really really gonna go
47:58
up if you pull that trigger. Pull
48:01
that trigger. We're gonna rearrange
48:03
the fucking furniture there.
48:13
If you're a man of honor. No.
48:16
No. No.
48:18
No. Why doesn't it work? I
48:20
mean, Rhino, trying to go out as a drug. My favorite thing in
48:22
the world to do is fucking take a rubber band
48:25
and just point it at somebody's point. That's
48:27
the biggest bully move.
48:29
Yeah.
48:29
Lewis Lewis wants to
48:30
try me. I can see him looking me at the eyes. He
48:32
wants to
48:33
I would I would If mine he was a fuck,
48:35
I would spark his records. I wanna see Well,
48:37
no. It's a big fucking deal.
48:38
You gotta know. I think
48:40
III think that I'd fucking
48:42
I think I'd hold my own for a little bit
48:44
till you got your hands on me. That's we
48:47
have some problems. Wouldn't not take long. Yeah. You're struggling. Right? He had to risk control me. I said, like,
48:49
this is a problem. He's got a vice vice
48:51
rep to
48:51
knowing. Yeah.
48:54
Yeah. Well, I can I can I can do I back up better? Gerard
48:56
wants to Gerard wants to
48:58
spar with me? Yeah. And I'm
49:02
he he picked the the time and said it's
49:05
gonna be, like, five, thirty second rounds.
49:07
Yes. Yeah. Right? Have you all spoken before?
49:08
Taking the terrain. We've
49:11
we've rolled a little
49:12
bit. You know, it wasn't the ice water maker. Oh. It's
49:14
he literally just picked his shots. It was
49:16
fucking it was it it
49:19
was
49:19
uncomfortable. I know what I'm getting into. It
49:22
it was not good. And I don't
49:23
see. I don't wanna hit him in the hay. He's got a lot of good ideas in
49:26
this now. You're gonna It's our cracker, strike us
49:28
on falling out. It's so funny because you're not even
49:30
known as being a striker, but it was so
49:32
like it was so like really
49:34
dump difficult to deal
49:35
with. Did you ever see Lisle El Zeto against against Mohammed
49:38
Ali? No. That's fucking great. It's
49:40
from LA. Is good. It's great. And
49:42
Lyle Alzado takes it one hundred percent
49:44
serious, and Ali's, like, trying to be nice to him and, like,
49:46
dance around. Yeah. And Alzado's a big bad
49:48
motherfucker, and he's taking it for real, and you can see
49:50
the moment where he actually
49:52
cracks Alida. He's like, alright
49:54
then. Black, Black, Black, Black, Black, Black, Black,
49:56
Black. Yeah.
49:56
Yeah. I never really
49:57
I never I never cracked Mickey.
49:58
It was really just him doing a
50:01
lock, why why why why why why why why why why we got
50:03
it? If we if we when we do this
50:05
so we're he he picked the time
50:07
limit, but I'm picking the terrain. I'm
50:09
gonna use it doesn't be, like, a basketball quarterback or a
50:11
field. Oh, I'm
50:12
just gonna move around pepper and okra. Don't
50:14
we gotta keep our feet in the tire. He's
50:16
like, he's a world of a pit bull form.
50:19
I release all those.
50:22
He constantly has, like,
50:23
bacon on
50:26
him idle penetrated. He is full of grease. Yeah.
50:28
But all Yeah. No. II0
50:31
film. It'll be on second deck. I'm excited about
50:33
that. That'll be great. So
50:36
alright. Let's Now how about this?
50:38
Zach and Nikki versus me and
50:40
you, the two of us versus them? Do you
50:42
think we
50:43
got a shot? Yes. I think so too. Yeah. Yeah.
50:45
I think I
50:46
think
50:46
we'd have we'd be a problem. Yeah. So here's
50:48
the thing, Zach. I'd fucking just kick out
50:50
as fat knee. He'd be on the ground.
50:54
I don't fucking need to fall down. It looks like it I got 1II
50:56
got
50:56
a basic You're looking at looking at a holding all of
50:58
that going,
50:59
I'm gonna stab you. Yeah. You're looking at a bad
51:01
That was how many Amico chatted
51:03
my ankle wrestling high school.
51:04
I got a bad wheel. I'd wow. I'd kick him
51:06
where it sucks. And then
51:07
the classic my I broke I broke my
51:10
leg and my coach. The words that
51:12
haunt me, see if
51:12
he can stand on it. Oh. You know what
51:15
happened? Could you stand on it? I know
51:17
I broke it again. Hey. So it turns
51:19
out, you
51:19
know, you were too.
51:20
Now we get Zach's I already have
51:22
a plan what you guys would
51:23
lose, but you go ahead. I'll
51:26
tell you how. So it would we have
51:27
to be extremely committed --
51:30
Yeah. -- to getting him to the ground. And
51:32
that's the
51:33
Him to the ground. Yes. Oh my god. No.
51:35
No. You're not tapping out. Never really ever gets you
51:37
with me. I know I never have. Here's
51:39
what I'm saying. It's two guys.
51:41
It's not one guy you
51:43
have isolating Here's the thing. I think
51:46
we can I can isolate one of his
51:48
limbs. You isolate another two of his
51:50
limbs. He's got one limb
51:51
left. That's all at that limb.
51:53
I'm putting one of you to sleep, and I'm gonna as the
51:55
other one to sleep in. I'm, you know,
51:57
I'm grabbing the other
51:58
one. And I'll I'm gonna use Zach for I'm
52:00
gonna use Zach for cover. Right? No. Like, you
52:02
guys answer me if I'm a human shield. You're gonna yeah.
52:04
I'm
52:04
gonna I'm gonna be jumping off that.
52:05
No. That's fine for
52:08
so long.
52:10
To run behind them, and as they come around them,
52:13
I'm gonna hit the other. Yeah. It's better alright.
52:15
So you think a better approach for me and
52:17
Gerard would be to try to strike with
52:19
you instead of trying to hold you down
52:21
and throw the elbow
52:21
shield. Elbows to the head. I think you guys should just ask for
52:23
truth. That'd be the best trying to
52:26
appeal to
52:28
my Now I actually wanna do
52:29
it. No. Two on one. Two on one. Yeah. What would
52:31
be the the approach though? We have to we have to
52:33
come up with a
52:36
very specific think that dude let's
52:37
wait. Let's see what happens. I gotta hope that you mister
52:40
rattling jaws. Yeah. I gotta I
52:41
gotta hope that you can throw a decent punch. I
52:43
gotta I gotta but
52:45
not like that. Not yet. Not like that. That's
52:47
the thing, like, I'd have
52:48
to wrap them. I know I know
52:50
for a fact that if it's
52:53
just me throwing it. It's gonna be a problem. If you
52:55
wrap a so both of the arms up and I
52:57
start getting, like, unanswered
53:00
shots, the way That might be a good way to do it. We gotta do it. But I think is I
53:02
think you're gonna have a hard time wrapping it to
53:04
wrap it. You got
53:05
it. I know you're strong. You got it. I figured out
53:07
three four shows. He's he's
53:08
got a he's got a fuck
53:10
and break something. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to see. Zach's gonna be the You're
53:12
gonna be the difference maker. Because I'm
53:14
a do Zach's covered
53:17
in Warpage.
53:18
That's gonna get back and then hop on one
53:21
bike and grab. Gotta
53:21
fucking cars and a
53:24
moon beer. You
53:26
thought you thought he was knocked out on the ground. It turns out he
53:28
crawls up bites your healy's tenant rips.
53:30
He's in blackface. He's in blackface.
53:33
Gonna
53:33
find some stash cocaine and just start going
53:35
nuts. I think that's my boy. So
53:37
you think you let me ask you a question.
53:39
Do you think that and we can't do it right
53:41
now. Shot. Do you think that he could bear hug
53:43
your arms closed long enough for somebody to start rattling
53:45
shots off. Or do you think you'd be able
53:47
to use technique to get underneath
53:49
end of fucking
53:52
Yeah. He'd
53:52
do stuff. You'd but you'd get one or two shots before he
53:54
got completely out.
53:55
I think if you would like to
53:56
get out and I'd talk to him. For
53:59
wrestling. Oh, I
54:00
was fighting. I was standing there like this and allowed him to, yeah, get both my
54:02
arms, like a -- Yeah. -- like a damze Okay. Let's
54:04
get closer
54:04
to my address. You know what I mean? I just
54:06
don't see the
54:07
path to victory
54:10
here. But it would be fun to see how it would go. Yeah.
54:12
Definitely.
54:13
Yeah. Yeah. That's what I
54:15
mean.
54:15
Exactly. You win. Make make you make you
54:17
put me down with got you, bro.
54:19
He kicked me to
54:20
my Fairly convinced
54:21
he can beat a gorilla, though. So I
54:23
don't know. No. No. I mean, if I
54:25
started on his back, Beautiful.
54:28
Beautiful. You get a hunch on a chimpanzee.
54:30
Like, go to a dog chimpanzee.
54:33
put those carotid arteries. Do they have carotid
54:36
arteries? Do they? I mean I think
54:37
they have a remember, their their arms are like a
54:40
foot long. They're gonna grab Alright.
54:42
So you get full fledged rear naked choke
54:44
in hooks in, sunk.
54:46
We don't We trade the gorilla to start
54:48
hands on bees like you're gonna sling it.
54:51
Dude, he's on dude, he's on all
54:54
fours and you get to
54:56
your hooks in. You think you could choke a chop
54:57
and do it? Yeah. You're feel like he might
55:00
go about his day. Like, toss me Why
55:02
you off him? He might be
55:04
doing shit. But he would just move tearing
55:06
your ear off, you start fingering your eyes, your finger, he would You'd have to be clawed. And
55:08
you can't just have the I don't think it's the claws or
55:10
the issue, dude. I'll live the claws. I
55:14
think that fucking club. I think I think what he would do is so you
55:16
have he would literally grab your fingers
55:18
and start snapping them off your hands, and
55:20
you would let go
55:22
very quick.
55:22
This Jibese is so fucking strong. So he hasn't he hasn't he hasn't asked about
55:25
trims. Yeah. This is what they do when
55:27
they're attacking, when they're
55:28
fighting. first do
55:30
is go
55:31
They're afraid of you rate
55:33
by them. Okay. First, they break
55:35
your jaws so you
55:37
can't buy them. Then they break your fingers -- Yeah. -- then they tear
55:39
off your deck so that you can't rape them. In that
55:42
order? That that is their order of
55:43
operations. But do they
55:46
have some That'd be a great
55:48
board game for children. Yeah. Like operations. Yeah. You because you're
55:50
you're a champion, you're attacking him.
55:52
It's like, hangman. Like, he's Okay.
55:55
So he gets to wear a
55:57
cup? Are you out there? That's right. You're there's no way
55:59
you're gonna train a chimp to say no
56:02
small
56:03
limlock. Yeah. Like, he's just going for those figures. Yeah. I think that's what
56:06
I would
56:06
be knowing. Could he risk all you risk
56:08
lock or
56:09
ankle lock a chip?
56:11
Could you get a heel
56:12
hook on a chimp? Yeah. But they
56:13
have thumbs on their beard. If you I think if you
56:15
arm bar
56:16
the chimp, I think he can literally just curl
56:18
you like this. Yes, sir. I would
56:20
I would not I would not get the other I think the rear naked
56:22
chunkers I mean, just from a physiological standpoint,
56:24
they do have carotid arteries
56:28
I think if you went and, like, really sunken in,
56:30
I think there's a chance you could do it, dude.
56:32
We'll imagine the skin ripped off
56:34
your
56:35
back. Yeah. Is this thing you
56:37
get He just He tears your
56:39
face. He's gonna see your fucking lungs
56:41
through that back. He's gonna be, like, one
56:43
of those fucking viking Eagle foot --
56:45
No.
56:45
-- in How The eagle. If you guys want
56:48
ratings on slick and thick, this is the way to go. We
56:50
gotta get a full an
56:52
adult driller. A chicken. Not a
56:54
gorilla. Yeah. That's too much. A gorillas,
56:56
like chips, fine. A gorillas as
56:57
gorillas, that's a
57:00
stupid
57:00
conversation. This
57:01
one, however. Jim, this is completely silent. Well, he's also not we've had the
57:03
argument on
57:03
the show. Louis
57:03
thought he could beat up a moose.
57:06
No.
57:07
Things are huge. I looked at they're
57:09
fucking goofy. Oh, they're I've got no
57:12
issues. I fucking I'll I'll jah a movie.
57:14
Something's a
57:16
fucking jah. Right? Bang. You did you grabbed the
57:17
mousum behind. I come just four times. Right? And the judge put
57:19
it out. Now Lance had down soft. I don't
57:22
wanna see you versus a mousum or not
57:24
known
57:24
for the head versus Chappenzi.
57:26
Do me and make me me and making that on the centerline. Yeah. Me
57:29
and Nike versus the Moose
57:30
and a chimpanzee. How did chimpanzee ride
57:34
the
57:34
Moose? Oh, I don't know,
57:35
Kenny. It's just strange. Yeah. That's a
57:37
scary
57:37
situation. I think the Romans
57:40
might have
57:41
had something here. Yeah. With these kind
57:43
of fights. The road is the heavy hits. When I went to Rome, that was one of
57:46
the coolest things that I learned
57:48
about, like, at at the --
57:50
The
57:51
museum.
57:52
Was, like, the they have, like it was, like, they're, like, hunters. Yeah. They would call them.
57:54
Right? So you'd come out and they'd be a guy and
57:56
they'd release two lions. And he'd come in and
57:58
you'd have a fucking thing and he lived. Yeah,
58:01
dude. The Christian or the lion. Oh my god.
58:04
The lion. The lion. It looks so easy. But
58:06
they have these traps that they would like. It
58:08
was, like, very, like, advanced. It is these elevators that
58:10
they would have, like, they would have a
58:12
fucking, you know, a a camel
58:14
would come out. The the people in the room, there's on
58:16
TV, there's no encyclopedias,
58:18
there's nothing. They'd see an ostrich. It looked like a giant bird. Brett.
58:20
They'd never seen anything ever like
58:22
this in their lives. They're like, this is like
58:24
it's the equivalent of a dinosaur
58:26
to them. They're thinking these these exotic alien like
58:28
creatures -- Yeah. -- that are coming out. It was like
58:30
one of the most spectacular things that you
58:33
could possibly watch you didn't have to pay for
58:34
it. You were, like, poor it was free. It was
58:36
part of, like, you paying your taxes -- Yeah. -- was they
58:38
would give you
58:38
the games.
58:39
And when they had prosperous years, they would do the
58:41
games multiple times per year, Sometimes
58:43
they wouldn't have the games for a few years because thinking about what the
58:45
most expensive animal in ancient
58:45
Rome was. Puerto Rican.
58:48
Do you know? I'll
58:51
give you guess. Not the elephant
58:53
Augusta Tiger. The giraffe. Oh. Because the
58:56
giraffe would die. Got it. When he put it on
58:58
the when he put it on
59:00
the boats, for whatever reason they
59:02
died all the time on the boats. Suddenly they tried
59:04
to bring them through land, and then they
59:06
would die in the Alps with the
59:07
cold. So with getting an
59:09
actual live giraffe. To Rome. To Rome was the most expensive Get
59:11
all this information more on slick and
59:13
thick. Hey. Have you been to Rome? No.
59:15
One of the fucking coolest things I've ever done
59:17
in my entire life. Yeah.
59:19
Go home. My kid was great, but I it forced me to do
59:21
the cultural side of things, which is like going
59:24
to the Vatican, going to
59:26
the coliseum, you know, really appreciating the architecture and the art and just like,
59:28
you know, when I'm with a chick or I go
59:30
by myself
59:31
somewhere, like, it's not
59:33
just really ignore the cultural side. I mean, there's just Wait.
59:36
Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. I wanna be glut I
59:38
wanna drink. I wanna do drugs. I wanna fucking
59:40
do whatever I'm doing. Right? my
59:42
like, really dude, it was just so cool. Go to
59:44
the Vatican. Dude, the Vatican, I did a
59:46
four hour tour. I could have done there's six hour tours
59:48
and eight hour tours. I could have easily done a two day tour of
59:50
the Vatican. There's so much
59:51
Mhmm. -- and so many cool stories.
59:54
I I recommend it to anybody in the world. And the
59:56
food
59:57
was fucking there
59:59
ain't nothing but carbs, a number of pizza, nothing but
1:00:01
pasta, I was wait. Well, they say that's
1:00:03
because of how clean the stuff is it comes from
1:00:05
the -- Yep. -- local area. There's no preservatives
1:00:07
any of
1:00:08
that. I know mix very big on on no preservatives, no oils,
1:00:10
that sort of stuff. Yeah, dude. The grains,
1:00:12
like
1:00:12
ancient grains that are like fucking
1:00:15
no bad
1:00:15
oils, you know. Yeah. It's good stuff.
1:00:18
It's the best. Love it. Can't let's go
1:00:20
back. Alright, Chen. Unless who does it
1:00:22
live? We got a little bit of time
1:00:24
left
1:00:24
here. Does it live?
1:00:26
The
1:00:27
Australian avalanche. Which
1:00:29
one's better, Shannon? You
1:00:33
have
1:00:33
a ranch or the plane crash?
1:00:35
Probably with the plane crash. Alright. Let's go
1:00:37
with the plane crash.
1:00:38
Okay. Here you go.
1:00:41
So right now, Shane was gonna show as part of a
1:00:43
video, and we're gonna decide whether or not
1:00:45
the people involved passed
1:00:46
away, lived, some of them lived, some
1:00:49
of them died, a This plane turns
1:00:50
into fireball. I'm saying no. Just to
1:00:53
let
1:00:53
you know, there's
1:00:53
also there's only two people
1:00:56
on the plane, a passenger, and the
1:00:58
pilot. Okay. Good enough.
1:01:03
Alright, bro. Uh-oh. Uh-uh.
1:01:07
Oh, whoa. Thank
1:01:10
you. If
1:01:11
they died, if
1:01:14
they died, I hope they died on
1:01:16
impact and then it drowned then it's
1:01:18
normal.
1:01:19
Yeah. I'm gonna say
1:01:22
they died only because it looked like such a
1:01:24
nothing that
1:01:25
I'm like, that that had to be worse than it seemed. And when a fling
1:01:27
flips like that, like, I'm pretty sure, like, that's not
1:01:29
good. That's not the really holiday
1:01:31
death. Is it?
1:01:34
Roy Holiday died
1:01:35
very similar to I don't know. Yeah. I say I say
1:01:38
Yeah. Died,
1:01:40
aren't you?
1:01:41
doing tricks
1:01:42
in his plane and then he crashed in
1:01:44
the ocean. Gently
1:01:45
crashed into the ocean like that. I
1:01:47
guess. I don't know.
1:01:49
111 and one.
1:01:50
I'm gonna go pilot the high passenger survive.
1:01:53
That's fucking bullshit. You
1:01:54
can hedge like that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Gonna
1:01:56
go ahead and get a pilot live. How should we go?
1:01:58
The pilot okay. Yeah. The the pilot instinctively protected
1:02:00
himself. Wait. Wait. I need I need
1:02:03
more
1:02:03
information. Was the pilot a man
1:02:05
or a woman? Shannon. They're both men.
1:02:07
Oh, they're the pilot. They
1:02:07
lived. Yeah. They're men. They're okay
1:02:09
then. They're men's pines.
1:02:10
Shannon, what happened? Okay.
1:02:12
The the only passenger was
1:02:15
former Santa Monica mayor Rex
1:02:17
Minter, and he died, but the pilot
1:02:20
lived. Wow.
1:02:20
That's me. No.
1:02:21
That's me.
1:02:23
You won one night with Natalie
1:02:25
and her girlfriend. Congratulations, Richard.
1:02:28
It's a big win. That's a big win.
1:02:30
Natalie, you could set Well, the
1:02:32
thirty ten thousand dollars on the table.
1:02:34
Ten thousand
1:02:34
dollars. You'd
1:02:35
pay it for ten thousand dollars. You'd
1:02:37
slant. Like he said, if the money were on the table, I
1:02:39
don't know what I will
1:02:41
on TV. Gals Gals like Gerdard is
1:02:43
a weird way. Right? I
1:02:44
think so. Yeah. I think
1:02:46
Gerd. It's a, you know,
1:02:48
They know they're gonna eat well.
1:02:50
Sure. At wintertime too, he's coveted
1:02:53
for his warmth. This
1:02:56
is the con this is the con you get it low. True. It's very true. Your
1:02:58
climate? Yeah. This
1:02:59
is it. III will say I did much better
1:03:01
when I lived up here than that in Florida.
1:03:03
That's true.
1:03:03
You're not
1:03:05
can't hide other other layers down there. Yeah.
1:03:07
You're
1:03:07
you're losing points in Florida.
1:03:08
Yeah. Big time. The winter is so great for men.
1:03:10
We have a way, Rob. We just look we look
1:03:13
so awesome. You look fucking regal. Women peak open. Yeah. Women
1:03:15
in the winter, they look like fucking slobs. Yeah.
1:03:17
Makes me sense. Very true. Yeah. Yeah.
1:03:19
When when
1:03:21
summertime women are fucking. Meanwhile, this is longest
1:03:22
I've ever seen him with a shirt on ever.
1:03:24
So Yeah. It's
1:03:25
killing me too. I just wanna
1:03:27
take that off. So badly.
1:03:29
Jones. What is his last story? I thought I had
1:03:31
Lyme disease. It turned out I had a tampon
1:03:33
in for two years.
1:03:36
What?
1:03:36
You're a cow. Shannon, that
1:03:38
was Jenna's diary. Oh.
1:03:41
Dude, a diary. So
1:03:43
it's this chick Melanie Galia's,
1:03:46
where she said that when she was
1:03:48
younger, she had Lyme disease. So she
1:03:50
remembered what the pain and what the
1:03:53
feelings were. And so when she was little bit older, she thought she had
1:03:55
Lyme disease again. She went to the doctor and they're
1:03:57
like, no. Everything's fine. I don't know what's happening. And
1:03:59
then she went to the gynecologist and the
1:04:02
gynecologist real lies that had
1:04:04
a tampon that was in her
1:04:07
cervix horizontally. Mhmm. So it got
1:04:09
stuck and it turned inside of her. Mhmm. And
1:04:11
that's what led to the
1:04:13
toxic sock shock
1:04:13
syndrome, which is, I guess, similar to the
1:04:16
feeling of having Lyme disease. Wow.
1:04:18
Is
1:04:18
there a picture of the schick? Yeah. Nice.
1:04:22
No. There
1:04:22
it goes. Tuxedo. She looks like
1:04:25
she has toxic shock. Yeah, dude.
1:04:28
Teenaged
1:04:28
girl. Oh,
1:04:28
she's a teenage girl? Alright. Well No. No. It was A0I
1:04:31
okay. Yeah. Sorry. I thought that the
1:04:33
Lyme disease happened I was
1:04:35
literally just a teenage girl. That's fucking
1:04:38
ranted. I remember one time I fuck the
1:04:40
chick, and she forgot the tampon
1:04:42
in there. And we we, like, walking that thing up. Yeah. Jan's Corey.
1:04:44
-- snowing back. Yeah. And three
1:04:46
and a half deep inches deep.
1:04:50
And
1:04:50
yeah. And then yeah. We found, like, two days later, I had to
1:04:52
pull it out of her teeth. She
1:04:55
fell the instructions.
1:04:57
I've done that before, though. I have actually pulled a tampon out with my
1:04:59
teeth. Oh, girl. To be funny, hit you in the channel. We
1:05:01
have a little bloodmark.
1:05:02
Nice. Yeah. Do you find do
1:05:04
you when you find women, they wanna date you
1:05:07
or they just wanna, like, fuck you. Which
1:05:09
women want to marry
1:05:10
me? They wanna marry. It's not just date me. They wanna
1:05:12
fuck him. They want it all. They don't nobody just
1:05:14
want to be the queen. They want they want the
1:05:16
keys
1:05:16
to the empire. They want the
1:05:17
whole thing. Yeah. They want the thing. Yeah. I mean,
1:05:19
the certain
1:05:20
girls in shows would fuck me, but
1:05:22
you know, that's crazy. They they
1:05:23
wanna be Solo dollar. Yeah. How do you navigate
1:05:25
that situation? Man
1:05:27
down. I usually
1:05:28
just end up in by
1:05:30
falling in relationship. What do I use,
1:05:32
Zach? How do you fight? I've
1:05:34
been married for a while. Yeah.
1:05:37
But, yeah, I've I've been I've been on my trip for,
1:05:39
like, seven years. Really?
1:05:40
Yeah. Before that,
1:05:42
I had no value. I
1:05:43
had been going on.
1:05:44
Until, like, be it married for seven years? You feel like there's just nothing wrong with me. Fucked
1:05:46
this up or
1:05:47
what up on married, but I
1:05:48
I'm taking it. Cool. Cool. If she cheated,
1:05:50
are you? Would you would you ever married? She
1:05:54
had David said, but would you end the marriage then? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You'd end it? Oh,
1:05:56
yeah. You just say that's it? Oh, yeah.
1:05:58
One discretion. Yeah. So ten years I
1:06:00
haven't been as good the fuck didn't have
1:06:03
fucking
1:06:03
up. She can yeah. It's still gonna be
1:06:05
true. And but wait.
1:06:08
You could she could be with you for ten
1:06:09
years. That's three thousand six hundred and fifty
1:06:12
fucking days. Yeah. Clean. Yeah.
1:06:14
Fucks up one night. Yeah. One bad night and three
1:06:16
hundred
1:06:16
should have invited me. Should have invited
1:06:18
me. Alright. Fair enough. Yeah. There's a
1:06:19
it's just a difference. If if my check cheated on
1:06:22
me, I'd fuck can it'd just be over. I can never I can never unsee Yeah.
1:06:24
Whereas I think women can it's just
1:06:26
like the whole, you know, the reasoning behind
1:06:28
it or whatever else it is, like,
1:06:32
Like a dude, it's just masturbating with another woman.
1:06:34
That's all you're doing. You're just trying to get
1:06:36
off. It's just that a woman, it's just
1:06:38
not the same thing. A woman,
1:06:40
she wanted to feel something. Yeah. Girls have feelings and stuff. A woman wanted to
1:06:43
feel something that night, you know, and
1:06:45
it's, you know, just a little
1:06:47
bit. It's just I I hate to be, you know, to have a
1:06:49
double standard, but it's just so worse offense when
1:06:52
a woman cheats and when a man cheats, unquestionably.
1:06:54
And I think the women that are in the booth would agree
1:06:56
with that. Right, ladies?
1:07:00
I I guess a majority of the time.
1:07:02
Yes, I
1:07:03
agree. Damn. There's an intimacy, so it's the
1:07:06
intimacy that hurts. Not the you
1:07:08
know, not the physical.
1:07:08
It's not so much she had to consider her. It's just that it's she
1:07:11
it's an it's an emotional
1:07:13
she's cheating emotionally. Whereas
1:07:16
you're cheating just physically. If she's gonna go and fuck somebody else, it's it's
1:07:18
because she's a
1:07:19
woman, she can fuck anybody
1:07:21
else. She emotionally, she feels
1:07:24
depleted or deprived in the relationship. So she
1:07:26
went for it elsewhere, and she's able to look
1:07:28
at sex just at intimacy
1:07:30
in place of emotion. Sure. But that think it's a
1:07:32
deeper seeded problem. Ultimately,
1:07:34
you know, I think if you cheat on your significant other
1:07:36
regardless, if I cheat on my girlfriend, she should break up with
1:07:38
me and never give it with me again. I'm not saying that
1:07:41
that that I should be excused. I'm just saying
1:07:43
it's actually worse. Unquestionably, it's worse if a woman
1:07:45
shoots at a man.
1:07:47
Okay. I agree. We all agree with that. I
1:07:49
don't know. I feel like the you say the double standard is Women
1:07:52
could cheat on you and get away with it whenever they fucking
1:07:56
want. Right? But if they fucking just throw it hard on this.
1:07:58
Yeah. Or is this something? They're
1:08:00
fucking but they they can get away with it
1:08:02
whenever
1:08:03
they want. If if she's cheating on you and you know about it,
1:08:05
because she wants you to know about it. Right. That's that's
1:08:07
what's
1:08:07
fucked up.
1:08:07
No. I mean, I
1:08:08
think I used to be, like, crazy. I used to, like, go through
1:08:10
my girl's phone and, like, like that.
1:08:12
Like, my girl now, she, like, leaves her phone open on the bed, and I get the the thought. Sometimes I see
1:08:15
it and I go, I can just literally just
1:08:17
for a second and
1:08:19
be, like, who's But what's the point? It's not even
1:08:21
so much that, like, I don't think she's cheating. I mean, I don't think she would ever cheat. I mean, she doesn't have the energy of
1:08:23
somebody who would cheat. But I guarantee
1:08:26
there's dudes in her fucking
1:08:28
DMs. I guarantee there's, like, guys, like, you know, so what's
1:08:30
the point of getting myself angry and worked up? You know, if I'm in a
1:08:33
place where I think she's cheating on me and I
1:08:35
have to go through her phone, relationships
1:08:39
aren't It's it's like, I like, I've now
1:08:41
recognized that in myself. Like, if I'm
1:08:43
in that toxic of a
1:08:45
place, It's done. And I would and that's why
1:08:47
every relationship had past years, make me. like, just six and bounce. It's not me
1:08:49
being irresponsible. It's me recognizing that
1:08:52
it's not going
1:08:55
to be a long term thing. And I'm not gonna waste years of somebody's life anymore,
1:08:57
which is what I we all do in our twenties.
1:08:59
We just waste
1:09:02
people's time. So I date people for, you know, a few months,
1:09:04
see if it works out, see if the vibe is there, and if it's
1:09:06
not, if not. You lease your cars. No. You don't buy them.
1:09:08
Exactly. Alright.
1:09:10
We gotta wrap this one. Thank
1:09:12
you so much for joining us today on the
1:09:14
show, Micky Gollinger, or Michael's. Please check out the
1:09:16
slick and thick podcast, company guesses on that
1:09:18
one. Please. January ninth. I believe is there --
1:09:19
Monday. -- January to so, yeah, we're
1:09:21
gonna have
1:09:21
a great time
1:09:22
with these guys. Thank you guys very much. Have
1:09:24
a happy New Year. We'll be back on
1:09:26
Monday with the first episode of the
1:09:28
year. Actually, I think
1:09:30
I'm gonna be recording in LA. So be way,
1:09:36
fucking New Year's Eve in the comedy
1:09:38
story is a fucking big deal. That's huge. Thank you very much. That's really from a comedian. That's like Thanks,
1:09:40
man. That's sick.
1:09:41
That's a great day Yankee Stadium. That's
1:09:43
that's fucking big league I
1:09:46
love the comedy store and they do great stuff for
1:09:48
us. So please come out and support that. And, yeah,
1:09:50
we'll check you guys next week. Peace. Hell
1:09:54
yeah. That's
1:09:59
all folks.
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