0:51

Hello, and welcome back for another

0:54

MVP episode of real

0:56

brave and unstoppable. Today

0:58

I am replaying episode number

1:00

57. Why

1:02

do we make things so complicated?

1:07

I am raising my hand really wildly over

1:09

here right now. You can't see me, but

1:11

like I am notorious for making

1:13

everything complicated. When

1:16

I was looking through most popular episodes,

1:18

this one came up and I love

1:20

it because, um, the idea that I

1:22

talk about in it is, when we say

1:24

like, why are things so hard

1:27

or why does it have to be so hard? And.

1:31

I had, this was about a year

1:33

ago. I had the realization like, well, what if

1:35

it's supposed to be hard? Like what if

1:37

it's just supposed to be hard and it's helping

1:39

me try to find a simpler solution?

1:42

First of all, you need to be aware

1:44

that you're making things complicated, but second

1:46

of all, if you didn't have a way to practice making

1:48

things simpler, you would never have to

1:50

right. So what if we were to see

1:52

things that feel complicated or hard

1:55

as a way to help us figure

1:58

out a simpler solution? And

2:00

so I think there's a lot of

2:02

wisdom in that. In

2:05

seeing a hard situation as

2:07

a learning opportunity. That's kind of my

2:09

mindset. Trust me, I've worked on that mindset

2:12

for a long time, but it's kind of my default

2:14

mindset these days. It's the

2:16

mindset. I help people in my coaching practice

2:18

get to as well. So sidebar.

2:21

If you want to learn how to make things less

2:24

complicated for yourself. Go

2:26

ahead and go to kortneyrivard.com/

2:29

lets- talk and schedule a

2:31

strategy session with me. We will

2:33

talk all about complicated and

2:36

simple. But

2:38

I can laugh at myself now. Cause I,

2:40

uh, I see, I see some of the ways I

2:42

made things really complicated and.

2:45

And now, I've created some more elegant,

2:47

simple solutions for my life in

2:49

some ways, but I'm always learning that I still

2:51

make things complicated and, and that's

2:53

just part of who I am and it's okay. Because

2:55

it teaches me to look for

2:58

other options. Okay.

3:00

So before I let

3:02

you dive into the episode. I

3:04

have a retreat coming up in September.

3:07

All themed around possibility.

3:10

If you're feeling like a little lost in your

3:12

life, or maybe you feel like you're not feeling

3:14

a lot of purpose or fulfillment,

3:16

maybe even like hamster wheel

3:19

comes to mind or Groundhog day.

3:21

Everyday kind of feels the same. You feel like

3:23

you're going through the motions. Your

3:26

life doesn't have to be that way. Trust

3:28

me. I talked to a lot of people

3:31

who feel that way there.

3:33

They're wanting more from their

3:35

life, but they just don't really know how or

3:37

what, and it's,

3:40

it doesn't feel good because they, they

3:42

sense that there could be more, but they

3:44

don't know where to start. And the truth is

3:46

a lot of people don't ever take that step

3:48

to start to figure it out. They just assume

3:50

that they have to settle and they settle

3:52

and then they get to the end of their life and they

3:55

have regrets. That's the number one regret

3:57

of the dying folks. Is that they didn't

3:59

live the life that was true to them. So

4:03

in this retreat, we really will dig into

4:05

what, what is the life you don't

4:07

want? You know, what is not working for you?

4:10

And what do you really want? That's a

4:12

hard question for a lot of people and we're

4:14

going to explore it. And sometimes the problem

4:17

with the question is that people don't think

4:19

that they're worth having it. They don't think

4:21

they're capable of having what they want. And

4:23

that's really the goal of the retreat. Is

4:26

to discover what it is you believe about

4:28

yourself that says you can't have that.

4:30

And you will leave the retreat, seeing

4:33

something that was hidden from your view

4:35

before. You'll have some new

4:37

idea of what's possible

4:39

for you. And you'll feel motivated

4:42

and inspired. To

4:44

move closer to that. This

4:47

is the work I love. I'm super excited

4:49

to help eight lucky

4:52

women get to this place.

4:54

It's happening as September 7th through

4:57

11th in Dickerson, Maryland,

4:59

which is outside of Washington, DC.

5:01

It's in the gorgeous countryside of Maryland.

5:04

We'll be staying in a renovated farmhouse.

5:07

On I don't even know how many

5:09

acres, but it's beautiful. It's beautiful.

5:11

It's close to the place I hike a lot.

5:13

We're going to go hiking. We're going to do yoga.

5:16

We're going to meditate. We're

5:18

going to transform in this beautiful

5:21

container. And

5:23

you will leave this retreat. In

5:25

some way, a different person than

5:27

when you came into it. So, if that

5:29

resonates at all for you, if you want

5:32

to really start the process of creating

5:35

the life you want. I invite

5:37

you to visit kortneyrivard.com/retreat.

5:41

And fill out the application, get

5:43

on a call with me and we will talk

5:45

about it. See if it's a good fit for you. There

5:47

are only eight spots available. Most

5:49

of those are full. So make sure you fill

5:52

out that application, a S

5:54

a P. All right. Friends

5:56

with that. Enjoy this

5:58

episode. Why do we make

6:00

things so complicated? Hey

6:03

everyone. And welcome back to real, brave

6:06

and unstoppable. You are listening to

6:08

episode number 57.

6:11

I hope you're all enjoying your June

6:13

so far. Well, by the time this drop,

6:15

this will drop on July 1st, 2021.

6:18

So hope you had a good tune.

6:20

And I hope you're excited for

6:23

4th of July plans. If you're in.

6:26

The states. If you're not,

6:28

if you're in another part of the world, well,

6:31

Yeah, just have a good weekend. It's

6:34

kind of nice this year, 4th of July is

6:36

on a Sunday. So, it

6:38

just kinda opens the, opens the door

6:40

for more cookout and being outdoors

6:42

pool type activities. Fireworks.

6:45

all of those kinds of things. most people have Monday

6:48

off in the states, so it's kinda nice

6:51

to have it fall. At that time

6:53

in the week. So it's

6:55

been super, super hot here. I've

6:58

had just a little update on my running.

7:01

Escapades. I think I mentioned.

7:03

Or I know I mentioned that I was

7:05

going to be doing a half marathon in July

7:08

and I just decided I don't really

7:10

want to do a summer half marathon. And.

7:13

Why should I, because I don't have to so right.

7:15

Why, why make things harder

7:17

on myself? which is actually what today's

7:19

episode is about. So,

7:22

yes. Episode number 57 today.

7:25

I'm going to talk about. why

7:27

do we make things so hard for ourselves? why

7:29

do we over-complicate and

7:31

how can we bring a little more ease and flow

7:34

and, you know, minimalism

7:36

or simplicity to our lives.

7:39

I've always been somebody who makes

7:42

things harder than they need to

7:44

be. Although I'm getting a lot better in

7:46

my. In my wise old age

7:48

that, I'm starting to see that the most complex

7:50

solution, Doesn't mean it's a better

7:53

solution. so today I'm going to talk

7:55

about that. Like, why do we do that? Why do we gravitate

7:57

towards making things harder? Because a

7:59

lot of us do it's pretty common.

8:02

And I'll talk about why that is. I've

8:04

always been a perfectionist. I call myself

8:06

a recovering perfectionist at this point

8:08

in my life because I've dropped a lot of those.

8:11

Perfectionist. Traits I've

8:13

sort of lost the need for them. I've realized

8:16

that they're born kind of out of fear of,

8:18

you know, failure criticism judgment.

8:22

Things like that. So I've done a lot of work to be able

8:24

to let go of those things.

8:26

But I think that as

8:29

you growing up a perfectionist, a lot

8:31

of my adult life, most of my adult life being

8:33

a pretty hardcore perfectionist, I.

8:37

Think that when there was

8:39

a simple solution that was offered to

8:41

me. It didn't really feed my

8:43

ego. and this was a subconscious

8:45

thing. Of course I didn't. Just consciously

8:48

go, looking to feed my ego, like who

8:50

does. Right. But I think that

8:52

as somebody who I have a lot of baggage

8:54

around the word smart, just because

8:56

growing up, like that was how I found

8:58

my validation is when people, saw

9:01

me as smart or talented. And

9:04

I would get my approval that way. And so,

9:06

you know, having something be

9:08

complicated. Made

9:11

me feel smart. Like I was tackling

9:13

this complex complicated problem.

9:16

And coming up with the solution that

9:18

was, you know, complex. And

9:20

I think. I'm guessing

9:22

if you have any of this perfectionism

9:25

going on, that you probably relate to

9:27

that. If you really think about it. if

9:29

it sort of resonates a little bit,

9:31

but you're not sure, I really encourage you to take

9:34

that idea and go think about it. Like what,

9:36

what is it, if you're a perfectionist. What

9:38

is it about a complicated solution or

9:40

a complicated path that feels good to

9:42

you. But I never really trusted

9:45

myself that a simple flowing

9:47

solution was like good enough, because

9:49

I really didn't trust that

9:51

I was good enough without

9:54

that. Like, I didn't just know that

9:56

being a human being and existing

9:58

as a human being was enough. I

10:01

always had to have that. External

10:03

validation that says, yeah, Courtney you're smart

10:06

or you're talented, or you're really good at that. I couldn't

10:08

give myself that. and I think a lot

10:10

of people who are perfectionist, I think really

10:12

most people who are perfectionist, can relate

10:14

to that. So I have a lot

10:16

of examples. Throughout my life, where

10:18

I've made things pretty complicated And most

10:21

of this over complication came from the

10:23

fact that I didn't really know how to trust

10:25

myself or my intuition

10:27

or, God, the universe

10:30

source, spirit, whatever you personally

10:32

want to call it. I didn't know how to trust

10:34

that and like, let that flow,

10:37

I didn't know how to believe myself

10:39

or you know, how to, how to let myself be

10:41

right. That what I believe to be true

10:43

was. Was right and valid.

10:46

you know, and I didn't know how to slow down

10:49

and also see the beauty in just a completely

10:51

simple solution. you know,

10:53

or keep in mind, I am a trained engineer,

10:56

so a lot of left brain stuff going

10:58

on. I love math. I love, you

11:00

know, processes. I love. I love that

11:02

kind of stuff. And that kind of stuff,

11:04

all it made me feel really worthy because it

11:06

was something that people thought of as you

11:09

know, I think in our society and things

11:11

have probably changed a lot, but. for

11:13

a long time, people have really valued those,

11:15

You know, those technical analytical,

11:17

left brain skills a lot. And

11:20

so it's really easy to fall into

11:22

that trap. So most recently.

11:26

And, and this was maybe six months ago. I

11:28

started to pick up on this, but I found

11:30

myself. Saying,

11:33

this is so hard. A lot. I

11:35

noticed that I was, I became really aware of

11:38

this feeling of labor

11:40

and like, you know, everything just felt like.

11:43

It was complex and

11:46

not flowing and not easy.

11:48

And. At the time

11:50

I was in a place where I was really,

11:53

really, working hard to grow

11:55

my business from, you know, the

11:57

ground up, I'm learning a new craft and balancing

11:59

that with a full-time job, which I recently

12:02

gave my notice for. Yay. kids,

12:04

a relationship, all of the things.

12:07

And I started to notice this

12:10

and how every time I said, this

12:12

is so hard. My energy

12:14

really shifted to a lower, vibration.

12:17

And I could really feel the shift in my

12:19

body that I just didn't like. And

12:22

let me just be clear. It took me a little while

12:24

before I realized this was happening. I

12:26

think it took me getting on, I

12:28

sometimes do like virtual coffee

12:30

chats with people just to connect,

12:32

you know, network. In the days

12:34

of COVID. Virtual networking.

12:37

And I was on a call with someone who's also

12:39

a coach and she just really brought this.

12:42

Energy, which I personally didn't.

12:45

Jive with, well, it was

12:47

not because it was, I was in a lower energy.

12:49

That was part of it. But also it

12:51

just didn't mesh with me. Think about if you've

12:53

ever been in a conversation with someone and something

12:56

just feels off, you feel like almost

12:59

repelled, like I got to get out of this. Right.

13:01

But this particular

13:03

call was really, an opportunity

13:05

for me to notice I was in this, this

13:07

is hard energy. And

13:09

so that was the point where I realized.

13:13

I keep saying this, I'm always saying,

13:15

oh, it's so hard. It's so hard.

13:17

It's so hard. This is hard. This is so much

13:19

work, but, and so, you know,

13:21

you think about that when you're saying that all the time,

13:24

it's not really helpful, right? So

13:27

I kind of, you know, I walked away from

13:29

that call realizing that, and I, I didn't

13:31

really do a lot with it. I just kind of kept it in my

13:33

mind. And

13:36

one day, I don't know why this

13:38

popped into my head. I might've been listening to a podcast

13:40

or, you know, something like that, but I

13:43

had this thought of what if it's

13:45

just supposed to be hard right now and that's just

13:47

okay. Have you ever

13:49

thought that like it's hard and

13:51

you complain about it being hard or you feel like

13:54

there's this drain on you because it's hard.

13:56

But what if it's supposed to be.

13:59

And that's just okay. The, the hard

14:02

is, is there for a purpose right now?

14:05

What if now consider this?

14:07

What if it's just supposed to be hard? Because

14:11

all of it. All of

14:13

the hard, all of the things

14:16

are being put in your path.

14:18

It was being put here by the universe. God

14:20

source spirit. To

14:23

give you the awareness or to teach

14:25

you that. You

14:28

need to try to make it easier. It's

14:30

challenging. You. To

14:33

learn how to make it simpler

14:35

because we don't really want to live in the hard,

14:37

I mean, I don't. I'm

14:40

guessing most of us don't. I

14:42

guarantee you that most of the time. If

14:44

you ask somebody what they really want in life,

14:46

no matter what they say, if you keep digging deeper

14:49

and deeper and deeper, it's all gonna come down

14:51

to that. So,

14:53

you know, making life easier and experiencing

14:55

more flow. that's what we want. Right. And

14:57

so what if these times where we say,

14:59

oh, it's so hard. What if it's supposed

15:01

to be hard? Because it's like a message

15:04

that says, okay, Wow.

15:06

You've just become aware that something

15:08

is hard now. How can you make

15:10

it easier? Some of the most

15:13

famous geniuses in life.

15:15

The reason why they are considered

15:17

genius is because they took something

15:19

extremely complex. And

15:21

boiled it down to something. Beautifully

15:24

simple. Look at Albert Einstein, the theory

15:26

of relativity E equals MC

15:28

squared. It's beautiful and

15:30

elegant, but it's extremely

15:32

complex. being an engineer,

15:35

like I've seen this over and over and over again,

15:37

and, physics and stuff like that.

15:39

In lectures, the worst part

15:42

ever is when your professor would go through

15:44

and a derive the equation for something.

15:46

And it ends up being this simple thing and it's like,

15:48

well, why can't you just tell me the equation? Which

15:51

yeah, you can, but it's when you're in.

15:54

This is a total tangent, but when you're studying

15:56

physics and engineering, Helps a lot

15:58

to be able to understand how you got there, but, I

16:00

digress. So

16:03

anyway. I really

16:05

believe strongly that everything

16:07

in our lives is present. For

16:09

some reason, you always

16:11

get what you need when the student is

16:14

ready, the teacher appears those kinds of

16:16

things and whether or not you use what

16:18

is being put in front of you as an opportunity

16:20

to grow in this case, learning how

16:23

to bring more ease and flow and simplicity

16:25

to your life. That is totally up to you.

16:27

And a lot of people keep proceeding through their

16:30

life. Gravitating

16:32

towards that complexity, making things

16:34

really hard. And that's

16:37

totally your choice, but. I

16:39

think that most of us really do want

16:41

to make life easier and experience

16:43

more flow, more peace, more. Simplicity.

16:47

So. Let's dive in. What

16:50

if the hard things are really supposed

16:52

to be hard. How does that shift?

16:54

How you think about hard? if you think

16:57

about something, feeling difficult, feeling

16:59

hard. what comes up for you? If you

17:01

think about something being difficult or hard

17:03

as a signal. For you

17:05

to start figuring out how you can make it not

17:07

be hard. How does that feel different

17:09

than if you just think about something as hard?

17:13

So the idea that maybe

17:15

it's just bringing awareness to. For

17:19

me that feels. Pretty

17:21

exciting. Is, it's another,

17:23

it's a problem for me to solve, but it's also

17:25

calling me to look for a simple solution.

17:28

Right. I think at the end of the day, Nobody

17:30

really loves hard. If you think

17:33

you love hard, I think I would challenge

17:35

you to dig a little deeper. But

17:37

when you realize something is difficult.

17:40

You're probably going to desire more ease.

17:43

If you really get honest with yourself,

17:45

right. So that's the challenge. Like how can

17:47

I make this easier? Why

17:49

am I making it so hard right now? Why

17:52

am I letting it be hard? What are

17:54

some ways that I can let it be easy?

17:56

How can I overcome this, this difficulty?

17:59

Those are some really good questions to

18:01

ask yourself. Some

18:03

of the ways that complexity can show

18:05

up in life or some of the reasons

18:08

that we complicate things can be. I

18:10

mentioned perfectionism before. I'm

18:12

an expert in this one, people. Perfectionism

18:16

can cause you to procrastinate, because

18:19

you start thinking about like, you

18:21

know, I have to

18:23

get this perfect. I have to have this

18:25

perfect. So I can't start until it's perfect.

18:27

So that makes things incredibly difficult.

18:30

And that's really related to,

18:32

you know, the reason that happens is people

18:34

have. Fear. Of

18:37

failing or being judged of looking

18:39

stupid or being criticized. So

18:41

we sit and spin our wheels in this indecision.

18:44

For fear that we're going to do the wrong thing.

18:47

That makes things incredibly complicated.

18:50

Fear of failure. That's, that's

18:52

one thing that's like attached to perfectionism

18:54

a lot of the time, but, fear of failure

18:57

can make things extremely complicated.

18:59

I always say to my clients or people that

19:01

I'm, I'm talking to that are interested

19:04

in becoming a client. That you

19:06

know, I always ask people, what is your feeling on failure

19:09

or what is your view on failure? And

19:11

it always tells me a lot because if

19:13

you want to get somewhere in life, failure always

19:16

has to be on the table. It always has

19:18

to be an option for you. And

19:20

as I'm saying that I'm thinking back to Apollo

19:22

13 and failure is not an option.

19:24

Okay, so that's a little bit different. Failures.

19:29

I mean, when human lives are at stake, it's we

19:31

really don't want to fail. Right. So,

19:33

I mean, take this with a little bit of a grain of salt,

19:35

but. Failure's not

19:37

an option for me, there are a lot of things that I'm not

19:40

going to try. And if I

19:42

don't try them. I might

19:44

not find the solution. So I guess

19:46

even in the case of Apollo 13, Failure

19:48

kind of has to be an option, even

19:51

in that case, even though it, you don't want

19:53

to feel when human lives are at stake. By

19:56

by having that mindset that.

19:59

All the options are available to you.

20:02

Is going to enable you to find the best

20:04

one, because if you're afraid.

20:07

There are a lot of options. You're not going to even touch

20:09

because you're afraid they won't work, or you're

20:11

afraid you can't do them. So you're going

20:13

to automatically eliminate like a huge

20:16

portion of potential solutions.

20:18

Right. And in our case, if you're bringing

20:20

it back down to non Apollo 13,

20:22

In levels. You're eliminating

20:24

a lot of the simple solutions because

20:27

of what I said before. Like a lot of times we

20:29

are just kind of programmed to gravitate

20:32

towards thinking that the more complex solutions

20:34

are better. So if that's the case and

20:36

we're not willing to fail. Then

20:39

we're automatically eliminating a ton of

20:41

possible solutions. And a lot of them probably

20:43

are the simplest ones. People

20:47

pleasing is another one. and that's

20:49

really like the fear of being judged or

20:51

not being good enough. we're approval seeking.

20:54

in these cases, we do too much. We can't

20:57

say no, we don't have good boundaries.

21:00

That makes things extremely

21:02

complex as well. You know, if we

21:04

just were able to sit down

21:06

and tune into what we need.

21:10

What we're able to do. Why

21:12

we're saying yes to everything. Do we

21:14

really need to say yes to everything? We

21:16

would probably come up with. A

21:19

lot more simplicity

21:21

in our lives right there. If you're a people pleaser,

21:23

really think about that. Like, how can you

21:25

bring more simplicity into your life?

21:28

When it comes to doing, doing,

21:30

doing, doing for others. And it's fine to do

21:32

things for others, but you just need to ask yourself why

21:34

you're doing it. If it's because you

21:36

need that validation to make you feel

21:39

good enough. That's where.

21:42

There's some work to be done. Along

21:45

the lines of, people pleasing

21:47

and perfectionism is approval

21:49

seeking. Really that's kind of what

21:51

it comes down to. And again, it all

21:53

goes back to fear of judgment criticism.

21:56

You know, when we're seeking approval,

21:58

we are, we aren't listening to

22:00

ourselves. We're listening for the approval

22:03

from other people. and we're

22:05

in doing that, we're trading away our

22:07

authentic self because

22:09

we're trying to be someone. That

22:12

will please someone else, you know,

22:14

that's most of the time, not who we

22:16

really are and we're giving up pleasing

22:18

our own selves or, you know, being true to

22:20

our own selves. And so when we

22:22

do that, that's definitely not in flow.

22:25

That's definitely not bringing the most simple

22:27

solution to your life. Comparison

22:30

is another one. you know, if you're, if

22:33

you're comparing your chapter

22:35

one to someone else's chapter 20.

22:38

And all of a sudden, you know, you're not

22:40

measuring up to their chapter 20, even

22:42

though they've been at this, whatever it is for a long

22:44

time, and you're just starting. You're complicating

22:47

things a lot because you're not focusing on what's

22:49

in front of you. And when you do that.

22:53

You're gonna miss the simple solution

22:55

in front of you. You're going to miss how to make something

22:57

simple. Holding

23:00

on to things too tightly

23:02

as another one. and these are all

23:04

you're going to find that these are all super

23:06

interrelated. But when

23:08

we try to control everything.

23:11

That is a complete recipe

23:13

for complicated. Because.

23:16

Most things are not ours to control.

23:19

And sometimes letting go is

23:21

the simplest solution. It might

23:23

feel like the hardest solution, but

23:26

it's just because when you do that,

23:28

you might have some emotions to manage

23:30

and you don't know how to manage those yet. And

23:32

if you know how to manage those, it's actually

23:34

a pretty simple. Solution.

23:36

when you learn that the hardest thing you're ever going

23:39

to have to do is manage difficult

23:41

emotions. It really all comes

23:43

down to that. And when you realize that it

23:45

really does make things,

23:47

it puts things into perspective and

23:50

it really makes things feel a lot more doable.

23:53

We all are sort of subscribed to the

23:55

society of busy-ness, you know, busy

23:58

is a badge of honor, working hard.

24:00

I know people in my circles

24:03

as an entrepreneur, we talk

24:05

a lot about how can we make our work.

24:08

Easier, you know, how can we fill

24:10

our business with more ease?

24:13

Because in our society, there's a lot

24:15

of belief system that says

24:17

you must work. Hard.

24:19

If you want to make money, you have to work

24:22

so hard and you have to, you know, if

24:24

it's not hard, It's

24:26

not worth the money or I'm charging

24:28

a certain amount of money for a client. And if I'm

24:30

not working my ass off, then. It's

24:33

not worth that. So we've equated,

24:35

like busting our asses to value.

24:37

And it's not the way it

24:40

should be, that doesn't make sense

24:42

because we can still be super

24:44

effective at what we do. And

24:48

spend less time doing it because

24:50

it's an easier solution. It's, there's more

24:52

flow in it. And I can deliver

24:55

way more value to somebody

24:57

when I'm in that place of flow and ease

24:59

than I can. When I'm in the chicken with my head

25:01

cut off chaotic, disordered,

25:04

place. We just kinda need

25:06

to learn how to take a pause. And

25:08

let things happen. And, and

25:11

let that be okay. And see

25:13

the value in letting things happen

25:15

and not. Micromanaging

25:17

them to happen. When

25:19

we complain about what we don't have

25:22

instead of practicing gratitude for what we

25:24

do have. That's another way that we complicate

25:26

things. If you really stop and

25:28

listen to what you're complaining about or What

25:30

you wish you had. If

25:33

you really stop and think about that, but then contrast

25:35

that with what do I have.

25:38

Feel the difference in your energy

25:40

when you, when you think about when you shift

25:43

that. Viewpoint.

25:46

If you find yourself in that mode of,

25:48

well, I wish I had this and this is so hard

25:50

and I can't do this. Sedona

25:52

make a list of that. All of those things, brain

25:55

dump, what things feel so hard,

25:57

what things don't you have that you're complaining

25:59

about? And just feel that in your

26:01

body, where does it show up? And

26:04

then. Do the

26:06

same thing by thinking about what

26:08

do I have. Even

26:10

right now just saying that and talking about

26:12

this I can feel a shift in energy.

26:15

So try that. It's really pretty cool. When

26:19

we're stuck in only thinking from

26:21

our own point of view, this is another

26:23

thing that makes things really complicated. I

26:25

have witnessed this in myself, is that.

26:28

You know, w we all grow up with

26:30

these belief systems that

26:32

we've acquired as you know, from childhood,

26:35

and we've grown up with them and we've accumulated

26:37

more and more and more all along the way. And

26:39

we have these. Ways that our

26:41

point of view that we believe this

26:43

is the way things are. and

26:45

when we subscribe to that and we're not

26:48

willing to change it. you're not able

26:50

to see what's in front of you. You're not

26:52

able to see the simple solutions because.

26:55

You just are set in your ways. This is

26:58

the way it is. I've seen this happen

27:00

in myself. I've seen it happen in multiple

27:02

clients. Is that when you open your mind

27:04

that those belief systems, maybe

27:07

aren't true. That you're just making

27:09

them true. And you're willing to entertain

27:11

that you could actually create an entirely

27:13

new one that serves you better. That

27:16

is where you can start to bring flow

27:18

and simplicity into your life. Right there too.

27:21

but we just, we just get so stuck in it. You

27:23

know, we have, There's that's a complicated,

27:25

that's a whole other episode in itself. But if you

27:27

can just open your mind and even just

27:29

start with thinking. There

27:31

might be a different way. That

27:34

I could think about this. That's a good

27:36

thing to start with. The

27:38

another thing is that we stay stuck living

27:40

in the past. We want things

27:43

to be the way they were. If they, you know, if they

27:45

change, we want them to be back the way they were,

27:47

or we have this idea of how we,

27:49

you know, how we think they should be. And

27:51

I went through this when I got divorced. I've talked about

27:54

this. the podcast episode that talks

27:56

about there's no such thing as normal. I

27:58

had a really hard time with that because I was so

28:00

stuck in living in this idea

28:02

that I, and this kind of combines

28:04

the, the point of view thing I just talked about

28:06

and being stuck living in the past.

28:09

you know, I had this idea of the way things

28:11

were supposed to be the family I was supposed

28:13

to have. And I just had a really hard time getting

28:15

around that because I really felt.

28:19

That, that was just the way, And

28:21

I couldn't really see another option

28:24

that was, that was acceptable

28:26

to me. And so when I started to shift

28:28

my thinking around that, and that's a work in

28:30

progress, right. But when I started

28:32

to shift my thinking around that and say,

28:34

well, really. What is

28:36

the way, the way is simplicity, ease,

28:39

feeling happy. Like there

28:41

are a million ways to make that happen.

28:43

So you can start to look at it that way

28:45

you can let those simple solutions,

28:49

the simplicity, the ease come to

28:51

you. I

28:53

mentioned this briefly a little

28:55

bit ago, but staying stuck in indulgent

28:57

or indulging emotions is another

28:59

one where we make things really hard on ourselves.

29:02

And this happens a lot. This is really

29:04

like when you're in victim mode. a lot

29:06

of people don't realize when they're in victim mode

29:08

and basically what happens when you're in

29:11

that place is that. You really

29:13

don't want to get out

29:15

of being stuck in your story. You're

29:18

indulging it. Your mentality

29:20

is that it's all happening to you.

29:23

And you don't have any agency

29:25

to change things. That's

29:27

victim mentality. Everything's

29:30

happening to you. You

29:32

don't have the ability to do anything

29:34

different. And that is not

29:36

true. So if you're

29:38

feeling that I really encourage you

29:40

to take a good look at that and look

29:42

at what things you can do to change

29:45

that. there is a simpler solution

29:48

than being stuck in all of any indulging,

29:50

all of those emotions that aren't helpful. It's

29:52

fine to feel them. But see what happens

29:54

sometimes is we. Get stuck

29:56

in that story of I'm

29:59

a victim. I need that validation

30:01

the person who hurt me is bad

30:03

and you know, all of those things, and that may be the case.

30:05

The person that hurt you, maybe bad, but. If

30:09

you stay stuck in that, how is that going to help

30:11

you? That's a very complicated way of living

30:13

your life in a very unhappy way

30:15

of living your life. Another

30:17

one is that we just really don't want to face

30:19

the truth. So we avoid pieces

30:21

of ourselves or we avoid situations

30:23

that could lead to a simpler way. Victim

30:26

mode is a perfect example of that is

30:28

where we really don't want to face the truth that we are

30:30

in control of our own lives and our

30:32

own destiny and our own happiness. We're really

30:34

in control of all of that. And so

30:36

if we're still not ready to be unstuck

30:39

from our story or unhooked from our story.

30:41

or we don't know how to do that. It's almost like

30:43

this way of not facing the truth

30:47

that I actually am capable of

30:49

doing the work to get myself out

30:51

of this. And

30:53

this also comes down to you'll

30:55

get this when I talk in a minute about

30:57

complexity bias, but our brain

31:00

is really wired to. It's

31:02

like a fight or flight thing. It's like when things

31:04

are complex, it's sometimes it almost

31:07

lets us off the hook to have to understand

31:10

something. So that's where it kind of

31:12

that's how that kind of relates. Another

31:14

thing too, and I would argue

31:16

that this is probably the biggest one is that

31:19

we don't trust ourselves to know.

31:22

How to find the ease in life.

31:24

We don't trust ourselves that

31:26

the simple solution that's in

31:28

front of us. Is the right

31:30

one. Was there overthinking.

31:33

And I'm going to get to that in a minute. But

31:35

trust trusting in yourself,

31:37

believing in yourself, letting yourself be

31:39

right, listening to your intuition.

31:42

Those are all ways to

31:44

find the flow and the ease in your life.

31:47

So I want to talk about now, why

31:49

do we do this? Actually, your

31:51

brain is wired to want

31:54

to find the more complex

31:56

solution for a bunch of reasons.

31:59

But one is just that our brain likes to be

32:01

busy. It likes to be stimulated.

32:03

And a lot of this has to do with what our ego

32:05

wants. Right. So I talked about that before,

32:07

for me being a perfectionist,

32:10

you know, my ego wanted to feel smart.

32:12

And so by me, Having this complex

32:14

thing, like it made me look like I was super smart.

32:17

Right. And our

32:19

soul. Our soul

32:22

just is, you know, our higher

32:24

self, our highest self. It doesn't

32:26

need the busy-ness or we're, you

32:28

know, we just are, we don't

32:30

need to be busy. We don't need to be stimulated.

32:33

we just think we do. We think

32:36

it gives us something that we need

32:38

when we don't really. So

32:41

our brain, if you give our brain two

32:43

different hypotheses, One

32:45

simple and one complex. Our brain

32:47

is more likely to subscribe to the

32:50

more complex one. So, I'm

32:52

gonna give you an example in college. This

32:54

is a simple example, but, and if, if

32:56

any of you are math people, physics, people,

32:59

anything like that, engineering, And

33:01

maybe just anything, even, maybe even maybe

33:03

this, this can actually apply to anything, but

33:05

in college, when I would study with friends

33:07

or we do homework together, It would be

33:10

working on a problem that, you

33:12

know, we think we got the answer and it'd be like that. Can't

33:14

be it. That's too. That's too easy. That's too

33:16

simple. It has to be harder than that. We're looking,

33:18

we're always looking for that harder

33:20

solution. If it's easy, it can't be right.

33:23

It can't be that easy. So we've just, we're

33:25

just kind of conditioned that things are not supposed

33:27

to be easy. Right. And actually.

33:30

It's not even necessarily that we've been conditioned

33:33

to think things aren't supposed to be

33:35

easy. It's just an

33:37

inherent thing about our brain.

33:42

And that brings me to talk about what's called complexity

33:44

bias. Our brain has several different

33:46

cognitive biases that are there

33:49

to make things easier for our brain. And I

33:51

talk a lot at, on the show and in my

33:53

work about how. Our brain just

33:55

really likes to make whatever it can.

33:58

Easier for us. It puts a lot of things on

34:00

autopilot. I think we have like 60,000

34:02

thoughts a day. Most

34:05

of those are autopilot and funny enough,

34:07

80% of those, or so are all negative

34:09

thoughts. We have those negative thoughts all the

34:11

time is because they're just, our brain

34:14

has made them easy. Our brain has put

34:16

them all on autopilot and it doesn't

34:18

have to really think about how

34:20

to have the thought. Her why to have

34:22

the thought it just does. So

34:25

complexity bias. Is

34:27

really our tendency to look at something

34:29

that, you know, might be easy to understand.

34:33

And instead of seeing the simplicity

34:35

of it, we just automatically view

34:37

it as being complicated, having

34:39

a lot of different parts, hard to understand.

34:42

It's an effort for the brain to make things

34:44

easier for us, but it's really a cognitive

34:46

error and it, it just. Describes

34:49

our tendency to prefer more complicated

34:51

solutions. And explanations

34:53

over the simple ones. So we're really wired

34:56

this way, which is kind of crazy.

34:59

When you opt for really hard solutions

35:02

or confusing, complicated,

35:04

complex, solutions, you

35:06

also kind of give yourself an out or

35:08

like the ability to sidestep the need

35:10

to really understand it. Here's

35:13

an example. I just finished reading Stephen

35:15

Hawking's book, a brief history of time.

35:17

And as somebody who has a scientific

35:20

background, I kind of follow it, but there's a lot

35:22

of stuff in that book. That's really confusing.

35:24

It's about, quantum physics and,

35:27

The space time continuum and.

35:30

Warping space, time and string

35:32

theory and all of these things that are. Super

35:35

interesting to me, but are really. You

35:37

know, at the end of the day, like really over my head,

35:41

So it's really easy for me to say, oh,

35:43

most people could probably not even track with this

35:45

book. So I'm okay. Just saying,

35:47

yeah, I don't really understand

35:49

this, but it was cool to read it right. And put

35:51

it aside and kind of move on. But

35:53

if it was something that was really easy or should

35:55

have been easy to me, I, you know, I might've

35:57

started to be really hard on myself about not being

35:59

able to get it. So it's almost like

36:01

a flight response. And, you know, when you think of fight

36:04

or flight, it's like, oh, this is too hard. I'm

36:06

going to run away from it. So if you make something

36:08

hard, you kind of give yourself an out,

36:10

that's what I'm trying to say. You

36:12

can surrender. You know, Surrender

36:15

your responsibility to understanding.

36:19

There's a lot of really interesting studies

36:21

about complexity bias. So if

36:23

that interests you go ahead and Google it. A

36:25

lot of good stuff Okay. So

36:28

we're hardwired to, you know, for

36:30

complexity bias to favor

36:32

the complex, make the simple things complex.

36:34

That's one of the reasons why we do this. It's just

36:37

wired into us. so the other

36:39

piece of that is, like I said earlier,

36:41

our brain really does like to make things,

36:43

or our brain does really like things to

36:45

be stimulating and busy. so

36:48

if something is. Easy. We

36:50

tend to think of it as boring or doll.

36:53

Or we also maybe don't give it as much value

36:55

of it's, too easy. Like it might be, we

36:58

might feel like it's beneath us. maybe

37:00

we want to think of ourselves or be thought

37:02

of as intelligent. And we have a belief

37:04

or a story that says if something is

37:06

easy, we're not really using our full brain

37:09

power. and we're not going to look smart,

37:11

or If we present a simple solution.

37:14

To someone will be judged as not being smart

37:16

or intelligent. Another

37:18

reason that we complicate things

37:20

or, you know, our brain gravitates that way too,

37:22

is that, we've also been conditioned

37:25

that being busy is. Like

37:27

a badge of honor. We've we've been conditioned

37:30

that being busy as good and

37:32

you know, hard work is good. And

37:34

it's also A matter of what

37:36

our thinking is, what our default thinking

37:39

is. Our default thinking might keep

37:41

us stuck in victim mentality. you

37:43

know, in indulging emotions

37:45

and not learning how to process them and

37:47

move through them. When

37:49

we're in that place of not. Taking

37:53

the steps to process and move

37:55

through them. We're sitting

37:57

with this complicated web

37:59

of emotions that are hard to deal

38:01

with. And so it makes it really easy

38:03

to stay stuck in that because, oh, it's

38:05

too hard. I don't know how to

38:07

get through this. I don't know what my

38:09

next step is. And if we were

38:11

able to just see that we

38:14

actually have control

38:16

over. Our emotions like.

38:18

By controlling our thoughts. It

38:22

becomes really simple. So

38:24

then it's not this tangled web

38:26

of how do I get out of victim mode?

38:28

It's just, what am I feeling

38:31

right now? And how can I shift my thinking to

38:33

feel differently? It's just this very simple

38:35

solution and it's one step at a time.

38:37

So do you see the difference? But when we're stuck

38:39

in there of feeling like life is happening

38:41

to us and we have no control

38:43

over it, it does feel hard. also,

38:47

I mentioned default thinking,

38:49

maybe we also just can't

38:52

see that there's another way of thinking

38:54

about things we've been in this complex

38:56

way of thinking for so long, and it's

38:58

just always the way we've done something.

39:00

and this can apply to like very practical

39:03

things in your life. Like, I had. A

39:05

client who is her and her partner had

39:07

like 10 different bank accounts.

39:10

And it was the most complicated thing I've ever

39:12

heard in my life. And I coached

39:14

her on it a little bit. And I was like, well, why do you do that?

39:16

They had a lot of arguments over like the

39:18

flow of money and not knowing

39:20

where money was going. And you can

39:23

imagine with like 10 bank accounts. So

39:25

we coached through that a little bit and it turned out

39:27

that the reason that they did that it was this convoluted

39:29

process, but it was just, it started

39:32

for some reason. And then it just kind of got

39:34

out of control and then they never, it was

39:36

just the way they had always done things. So

39:38

they never really considered doing it a different way.

39:41

So there you go. Look

39:43

at what areas of your life. You're

39:45

just doing, because you've always done

39:48

them that way. Or maybe you're doing them that way because

39:50

your parents did them that way. you

39:52

know, you can change them. and

39:54

the same thing happens when we hold onto things

39:56

too tightly. Our brain just can't imagine

39:58

that life could be better if we let

40:00

go of the complexity or the feelings

40:03

of things being complex or hard. So.

40:07

What do you need to do to stop over-complicating

40:09

your life? I think it's really easy.

40:12

Honestly. I'm going to give you more than one idea,

40:14

but I think the, I think the biggest thing

40:16

is to just be quiet, just

40:18

listen. Listen to your inner

40:20

knowing. you have this higher

40:22

self inside of you. That is. Is

40:25

not bound by ego. It just

40:27

is. It's wise. It knows

40:29

what you need. It knows the simple

40:31

answers. And if you just

40:33

get quiet and listen for

40:36

it. You'll hear it.

40:39

And I think the second piece of that

40:41

is learning how to trust that

40:44

learning how to trust that you

40:46

are enough. And you

40:48

don't need complicated that

40:50

all you need is ease and flow

40:52

in your life. And that's why we're here is

40:54

to live life. That's

40:57

happy And peaceful. I

40:59

think it really is that simple. But,

41:03

Some other things that. I think

41:05

are important as well. Are. You

41:08

know, just starting to become

41:10

aware of where you think things feel hard

41:13

in your life. Like I said at the

41:15

beginning of the show, where

41:17

do things feel hard and thinking

41:20

of that as when you start to notice that thinking

41:22

about it, not as them being hard, but

41:25

as it, as it being a challenge

41:27

for you to learn how to make

41:29

things easier. I

41:32

think that's really important. And it starts with that

41:34

awareness. It starts with getting quiet

41:36

and then it starts with listening for that

41:38

awareness, like just having that awareness

41:40

that this is coming up right. I

41:42

also mentioned gratitude earlier I think

41:44

that gratitude is, it

41:47

just is a shift. It's a shift

41:49

of energy.

41:52

And when you sit in that energy

41:54

of gratitude, it, it feels

41:57

easier. Like I mentioned

41:59

earlier, that exercise when

42:01

you're feeling like victimy, you know, when you're

42:03

feeling like I don't have this and I wish I had that,

42:05

and this is so hard and that's really, that

42:07

really sucks. Sit

42:09

with that. How does that feel? In your body.

42:12

Do you feel tense? Do you feel like anxious?

42:15

Do you feel worried where, you know what go

42:17

through, do a body scan? Like where does that show up

42:19

physically in your body? Journal

42:21

about it. And then just

42:23

really. Like I said, sit

42:25

with it. For a minute and

42:28

then go to the other side of it. What do you

42:30

have right in front of you right now?

42:33

That you're grateful for. And

42:35

sit with that. How does that feel in your body?

42:37

And notice that shift, they feel so

42:39

different and you can literally make

42:42

that shift within, you know, instantaneous,

42:44

when you just shift where your energy is

42:47

flowing. Practice

42:49

it it's really cool. It's really cool. Watch

42:52

judgment. Judgment is one

42:55

thing that can complicate things so much

42:57

because you're not focused on what's in front

42:59

of you. You're focused everywhere else. And

43:01

when you do that, you're not going to see

43:04

where you can find the ease in your life. So

43:06

watch the judgment. And

43:09

when you drop into that place of

43:11

awareness and quiet, you can start

43:13

to, to notice that. And

43:15

along those lines will awareness, you know,

43:17

stay present. see things

43:19

just simply for what they are or what they

43:21

aren't that goes in with the awareness

43:24

to being able to really just, not

43:26

attach a story to something, just be able

43:28

to see something as it is just

43:30

like you are a human being. You, you just

43:32

are. you exist, you

43:34

are enough just because you exist.

43:38

If you think about something outside of

43:40

you. Just for what it is, don't

43:42

make up a story about it. Cause that's where you get into trouble.

43:45

Get to know your fears. That's

43:47

a big one too, because fear makes us do

43:49

things. That

43:52

don't make sense. A lot of the time. So

43:54

get to know your fears, what are you truly afraid

43:56

of? And by dropping into these places

43:59

of, you know, where do I feel like things are

44:01

hard and suck. Versus

44:03

what, what really does flow for me and

44:05

what am I grateful for? You're going to start to

44:07

be able to see, see those

44:09

things. And then finally,

44:11

and I think this is also one of the, really, this

44:14

is like the biggest one aside

44:16

from just listening is. When

44:19

you listen. Believe

44:21

yourself, let yourself be right.

44:23

Believe in yourself that you really do have

44:26

all of the answers inside of you. You

44:28

really do. It doesn't mean you won't

44:30

make mistakes or you won't be

44:32

a lettuce stray sometimes, but usually that's

44:34

when you're not listening to yourself, that's when

44:36

you're letting something from the outside, come

44:38

in, you know, but learn to trust

44:41

yourself, let the beliefs you have

44:43

when you're, you're coming to this place of just

44:45

being in simplicity. Let those be

44:47

right. Let your intuition be right. Practice

44:49

that. so

44:51

back to like learning, to

44:53

make things easier. When

44:57

they feel hard, like I said, find

44:59

that the awareness that they feel hard.

45:02

And make a decision that you're going to accept

45:04

the challenge to learn how to simplify

45:06

them. Take that as a sign

45:09

that okay, I'm saying this is hard

45:11

a lot. That's just like what I did. I noticed that

45:13

I'm like, I'm saying this is so hard

45:15

a lot and it doesn't feel so good.

45:18

So what can I do to make it not feel so

45:20

hard? You know, it might still be

45:22

a challenging thing, but how can you bring more

45:24

ease and flow into it and

45:26

to do that, you are really going to oftentimes

45:29

need to step outside your comfort zone. in

45:31

one way or another, you're going to have to practice

45:34

a new way of thinking or a new

45:36

way of being. I did an episode

45:38

a couple weeks ago about how

45:40

you can't ever get different results

45:43

without changing something without

45:45

changing the way you think or your way of being.

45:48

You will never get new results, different results.

45:50

If you don't change those things. So

45:53

that requires getting

45:55

out of your comfort zone because you're going to have to

45:57

do something new and our brain doesn't really

45:59

like to do new things all the time. So

46:02

you're going to need courage to be able to do this,

46:04

but the more you practice courage, the more confidence

46:07

you're going to find, listening to your intuition

46:09

and trusting yourself. So play with that

46:11

practice. It don't be afraid to mess

46:13

up. Failures gotta be an

46:15

option for you to get this stuff right. So,

46:19

what does simplifying. True

46:22

or trusting and believing in yourself,

46:24

listening to your intuition. What

46:26

does that make available for you? Why

46:28

is it. Why should you even try? Who

46:30

cares? Right. Well,

46:35

You're going to be able to live a more intentional

46:37

life. You're going to be able to slow down.

46:39

You're going to be able to make the space to listen.

46:43

You know, we don't often leave space

46:45

in between. Doing

46:47

and, you know, thinking, thinking,

46:49

and doing, or, you know, we don't leave that space

46:52

to let things come. So

46:54

we let our brain get in the way and

46:56

our brain makes things hard. It's

46:58

gonna enable you to be aware

47:00

of what's going on around you and inside

47:03

of you. Which is in turn,

47:05

going to help you create that

47:07

space to just listen. It's

47:11

going to bring you opportunities to

47:13

practice listening and trusting.

47:15

You know, by, by having this in your

47:18

awareness, you're going to

47:20

start practicing it just naturally. The

47:22

more it's in your awareness. The more you're going to

47:24

get curious about it, the more you're going to practice

47:26

it and practice makes progress.

47:28

Right. you're going to gain confidence

47:31

in your intuition, your inner knowing

47:33

that you actually do have your back,

47:35

that you actually do know what's best for you because

47:38

you're going to have all these new opportunities to practice.

47:41

You're going to feel more grounded because

47:43

you're going to trust that you've got this, you've got

47:45

your back and you know how you

47:47

know that you have everything inside of you

47:49

to find simplicity and

47:51

ease in your life. and so that

47:53

leads me to our next one, which is just, you're going

47:56

to have more flow, ease.

47:58

Peace joy in your life, less

48:00

stress and worry. One

48:03

of the biggest things you're going to gain. And

48:08

this is such a beautiful one is that you're going to gain

48:10

self-confidence. So you're

48:12

going to have that confidence in your intuition

48:14

and your inner knowing, but you're also just going

48:16

to have self confidence that you've. You've

48:19

got this. Like, even if you fail, you've

48:21

got this right. You've always

48:24

got your own back. You can always handle those

48:26

difficult emotions that come up and

48:28

you've always got the ability

48:31

to find that peace and ease

48:33

and flow in your life. That's

48:37

pretty cool. I love this. This is a long

48:39

episode, so hopefully you're enjoying it. I'm

48:41

just letting it ride. I don't care. It's

48:44

good stuff. So, what are some

48:46

of the ways you can simplify things

48:48

in your own life? These are very

48:50

practical things. And this is the last thing

48:52

I'm going to give you before I end the show

48:54

today. But one thing is to

48:56

take really, just take good care of yourself.

48:58

Drink lots of water, eat healthy, practice,

49:01

intuitive eating, you know, listen to your

49:03

intuition on when you need something.

49:05

and listen to what your body needs,

49:08

you know, are you eating 10

49:10

sugar cookies because your body's asking

49:12

for it or is it because you're stressed

49:14

and you're like, you know, you need something to

49:16

take the edge off. You start to listen

49:19

to those things, get enough sleep,

49:21

be kind to yourself, always say nice

49:23

things to yourself. Talk to yourself. Like you

49:25

talk to someone you love. I always say that,

49:27

but do that. Move your body,

49:30

practice, Setting boundaries.

49:32

You don't say yes to everything

49:34

be okay. Saying no. And if

49:36

you say yes, love your reasons for it. I

49:39

always say that always love your reasons. look

49:42

at what things you can repeat. I'm

49:44

a huge systems and processes nerd.

49:47

This comes from my time, working at Boeing. You

49:50

know, like with food, with dinners, what recipes

49:52

can you repeat? How can you put your shopping

49:54

list on, you know, more of an autopilot

49:56

mode or, can you order things online

49:59

or how can you make your meal planning more

50:01

automated or simplified? How

50:03

can you simplify getting ready in the morning,

50:06

organizing your clothes or putting them out

50:08

the night before having a quote-unquote

50:10

capsule wardrobe so you can mix and match

50:12

really easily. if you're somebody

50:14

who tends to not like what you see

50:16

when you look in the mirror. practice

50:19

some self-love don't beat yourself up.

50:21

When you look in the mirror, choose your clothes

50:23

ahead of time. No changing outfits.

50:25

Oh my God. You guys. When I was in high school,

50:27

my mom is listening to this. I'm sure. And

50:31

she can attest that I would change

50:33

my clothes like 10 times and I would be in this

50:35

complete tizzy over not

50:37

looking good enough. And it was, oh, it was a terrible

50:40

feeling. But you know,

50:42

if you're somebody who does that layer close

50:44

up the night before, make a commitment to yourself

50:46

that you're going to just put that outfit on and

50:48

you're not, there's no beating yourself up. When you look

50:51

in the mirror, no changing outfits. You're

50:53

going to say something nice to yourself or don't

50:55

look in the mirror at all. Simplify

50:58

that part of your morning. take

51:00

time out of your day to get quiet and tune

51:02

in. To listen to that inner

51:04

voice, that inner wisdom or intuition,

51:07

what is it saying to what's coming

51:10

to you? You know, what's flowing to

51:12

you. Hit the pause

51:14

button slow down when you need

51:16

to make decisions. So you're

51:18

making intentional decisions quickly

51:20

by listening to your intuition. It

51:22

does that doesn't mean you're making rash decisions,

51:25

but you're not leaving these open cycles

51:27

at second guessing yourself. and

51:30

then a lot of times just asking yourself,

51:33

if you tend to be busy or, you know, there's a

51:35

lot going on or something feels hard,

51:37

ask yourself, why am I doing this? And.

51:40

Love your reasons for it. Or

51:42

ask yourself, is there an easier way for

51:44

me to do this? Always entertain

51:47

others points of view. Your

51:49

way is not always the best way. It might be

51:51

super complicated. There's likely

51:53

a much simpler way. And you may

51:55

just need to shift your thinking or even just

51:57

shift your energy. And then another

52:00

thing that I think is really, great to do is,

52:02

this is kind of a practical thing, but, do

52:04

a pain point audit, what that means is.

52:07

Take a really honest look at the places

52:09

in your life where you feel like you have stickiness.

52:12

It's like a pain point. You, you know, things

52:14

don't feel easy, feel things,

52:16

feel complicated and hard. And

52:18

then just ask yourself, how can I simplify

52:21

these things? What changes are

52:23

you going to need to make to simplify them? And

52:25

are you willing to make those. And

52:27

then. What might you

52:29

need to let go of in order

52:32

to simplify, like, are you needing

52:34

to let go of a belief system or

52:36

a story you have about yourself

52:38

or the world? And are you willing

52:40

to let go of those things? And

52:43

if not, It always

52:46

comes back to, do you love your reasons?

52:48

What are your reasons for not being willing to let

52:50

go? Do you love the reasons.

52:53

So, and those are things that I can help you with.

52:56

this stuff is really hard to do on

52:58

your own. I. I'm a living

53:00

breathing example of that. I just

53:02

didn't get it until I had a coach. And

53:04

so if you want to talk about it, I would love for

53:06

you to schedule a clarity session with me and

53:08

we can talk all about it. You can tell me kind

53:10

of where you're struggling or your sticky points

53:13

are. and then I'll tell you what I think,

53:15

you know, why I think those things aren't working,

53:17

what you're doing, isn't working, and then I'll give you my ideas

53:19

on how. you can change that. and

53:22

then we can talk about. What it would look

53:24

like. To work together. if

53:26

it's a good fit. And that

53:28

whole session is free. And even if it's

53:30

not a good fit, you'll take away some

53:32

really valuable insight. really

53:34

want to get on that call if you're at all interested

53:36

in any of this stuff. If any of this stuff

53:39

resonated with you because you'll get a lot out of

53:41

it, regardless of whether or

53:43

not. Coaching is a good fit

53:45

for you. All

53:47

right. That was a lot. That was a mouthful. I

53:49

hope it was helpful. And

53:51

as I, as I'm wrapping up this episode,

53:53

I'm wondering, did I make this episode

53:56

simple enough? Like, did I just overcomplicate

53:58

it and talk about way too much stuff? So,

54:02

you can practice your intuition

54:04

and actually give me feedback on that. If you

54:06

think I made it too complicated, please

54:08

let me know that. And then I know that I need

54:11

to work on making things a little simpler

54:13

for myself and all of you.

54:16

So you guys have a great rest

54:18

of your week and a great weekend, and I will see

54:20

you next week.