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0:31

It's only a kick. The example that

0:33

comes to mind is... A jump.

0:36

A block. It's

0:38

only a serve. It's only

0:40

a tackle. A run. It's

0:43

only for the fans. After

0:46

all, it's only pressure. You

0:49

got this. Adidas.

0:56

Welcome to Real Jam Radio. I'm Danny Lue,

0:58

your host. And if you're wondering why there

1:00

was no theme song, that is because this

1:02

is a continuation of a LaRue family tradition

1:04

that is not formally like it is not

1:07

this week's episode. It is instead the mascot

1:09

bracket. And for those of you who are

1:11

new to this, the way this started was

1:13

actually as a phone conversation that used to

1:15

happen with my sister, who is a marine

1:17

biologist by training who knows and cares nothing

1:20

about sports and instead as a biologist is

1:22

very interested in what would

1:24

happen if mascots got into fights

1:26

and she takes it very seriously. And it is

1:28

a lot of fun. It is one

1:30

of the long running family traditions that has

1:32

actually becoming long running podcast tradition. And we

1:35

truly enjoy doing it is something that we

1:37

enjoy. And as I said, it is not

1:39

like in the old parlance of Real Jam

1:41

Radio, it is not a numbered episode. This

1:43

will not have advertisements. There will be another

1:45

podcast that will cover that. But if you

1:47

want something that is a change of pace,

1:50

that is unlike in all likelihood, almost anything

1:52

you listen to, you can enjoy this. And

1:54

if this doesn't sound like your speed, then

1:56

don't. But we love doing

1:58

it every year. I thank ReelGM

2:00

for enthusiastically encouraging me to put it out

2:03

every year. And I hope you enjoy. Thank

2:05

you so much for coming on. Thank

2:07

you. I'm excited to do this again.

2:09

There are some new ones, some random ones. I didn't go

2:12

all the way through and scout it, but we'll

2:14

have some. And one of those

2:16

is actually in the first matchup. So it

2:18

is and for those who are new to

2:21

this, we're now doing including one 16 match

2:23

ups since the first one is it is

2:25

a Husky, specifically the Connecticut Husky, if you

2:27

care about that versus the Stetson Hatter.

2:30

I have long thought of it as being a

2:32

giant hat. I think that is a good way to think of

2:34

it. I don't think of a

2:36

Hatter as like a person who makes a hat, though, the

2:38

Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland is a guy who wears

2:40

a hat. So I would go giant

2:42

hat versus Husky. Is the

2:45

mascot a giant hat?

2:47

I've seen it. Oh, it's a man in a giant hat.

2:50

Yeah. In one of the old basketball video games,

2:52

they had it as an only a giant hat. And I loved

2:54

it so much. I

2:57

mean, I feel like dogs eat

2:59

people smelling items of clothing all

3:01

the time. So this feels like

3:03

an obvious Husky win. Next

3:06

up, Owl versus Wildcat. Ooh.

3:11

What kind of Wildcat? Where

3:14

is it? Northwestern. So Northwestern is

3:16

in the Great Lakes region.

3:18

It's in Evanston, Illinois, if we're being specific.

3:21

Oh, OK. So there are

3:23

Bobcats in the Great Lakes

3:25

region. Bobcat

3:28

versus Owl. I

3:31

feel like this has probably actually happened

3:33

in nature on more than one occasion.

3:37

But I feel like the

3:39

Owl's eyesight is so vastly

3:41

superior and its ability to

3:43

escape attack compared to the

3:45

Lynx or Wildcat. So I would say

3:48

Owl. I

3:50

think you're going to love this one. Aztec

3:52

versus Dragon. Yes. Um,

3:57

Aztec like, OK. Aztec

4:01

like the like the yes.

4:04

All right cool cool um and

4:06

does this dragon have any particular

4:09

powers? I wouldn't think so

4:11

I mean it is breathing fire in

4:13

the mascot logo it's the University of

4:15

Alabama, Birmingham UAB um technically they're the

4:18

blazers but it's a dragon. You

4:20

know what I'm really liking

4:23

is this idea that like

4:25

the Aztec person has like

4:27

taken some kind of hallucinogen

4:29

and is like envisioning this

4:31

dragon attacking them but it

4:33

still wins because it's a

4:36

dragon um so

4:38

dragon. A less competitive one maybe

4:41

uh tiger versus bulldog. I

4:44

think the bulldog would just be like a

4:46

little little football being tossed around um

4:49

definitely tiger. Okay you might

4:51

need to look this one up um so it's

4:53

a cougar that you don't need to look up

4:55

um versus so this is

4:58

Duke not the college this

5:00

is Duke the mascot so

5:02

the school is Duquesne D-U-Q-U-E-S-N-E.

5:06

That is a really um oh

5:10

gosh it's like a magician

5:13

looking guy? Sort of yes it

5:15

appears that way. But also a blue lion?

5:18

Well we're considering it the

5:20

person. Oh okay. They have technically.

5:22

He looks very menacing. Though the lion

5:24

in the top hat is pretty pretty glorious.

5:27

I mean it is there's a lot

5:29

happening here he seems so

5:31

mean but he doesn't have any

5:33

stuff like he doesn't. He has

5:36

like a stick maybe. He's a

5:38

Duke he's just like a fancy man

5:40

right? Correct. Unprepared

5:43

for battle with cougar. Um

5:47

sorry yeah definitely the cougar.

5:50

Okay um fighting Illini so we

5:52

generally think of this as a

5:54

single Native American of the Illini

5:56

versus an eagle. Ooh

5:59

uh spell the name of this tribe?

6:02

I-L-L-I-N-I. It

6:04

is, I believe, the origin of the state

6:06

of Illinois, which is the University of Illinois

6:08

School. Okay. This is, by the

6:10

way, our first mascot bracket benefiting

6:12

from the use of AI. So

6:17

I'm able to ask much

6:19

more detailed questions, and I was

6:21

just googling whether or not eagles

6:23

were sacred to the lioni,

6:26

is that how you say

6:28

it? A lioni. And they

6:31

were powerful spiritual symbol, seeing

6:33

as connection to the greater

6:35

creator spirit. For

6:38

this reason, I don't think

6:40

that the lioni

6:42

would kill the eagle. So

6:45

eagle wins. Nice. Cougar versus

6:47

bulldog. I

6:50

mean, it might last longer than with the

6:52

tiger, but definitely cougar. Here's a fun

6:54

abstract one. Jackrabbit versus

6:56

cyclone. Oh. I

6:59

mean, weather always does so well. I'm

7:03

trying to imagine... I

7:07

mean, I guess it could burrow, but I don't

7:09

even know if that counts as winning. It only

7:11

seems like not losing. Well,

7:13

I mean, the cyclone only has

7:16

so much, like, umph in it.

7:18

So you could kind of wait

7:20

out the cyclone and by default

7:23

win. However, Jackrabbit, thank

7:25

you, Claude. Do not burrow or

7:30

dig burrows. They just make shallow

7:32

depressions in the ground to rest

7:35

in. So they're specifically

7:37

weak animal against the cyclone. They're

7:40

like a little dust bowl against the

7:42

cyclone, and I am very sorry, Jackrabbit

7:44

cyclone's got this one. Oh, yeah, that's

7:46

right. We have a play-in matchup, and

7:49

so I'm giving you those so you

7:51

actually have a bonus one before we

7:53

get to it, and that means I

7:55

need to look up a mascot. What

7:58

is a play-in? So they're now... some

8:00

teams okay well actually here I'll give you

8:02

the matchup it actually just finished in real

8:04

life I'll give you the matchup and then

8:06

I'll tell you what actually happened um see

8:09

see Hawk versus lysen

8:11

hmm and a see Hawk

8:13

is like a real thing right it is

8:15

it's a it's a seabird where did they

8:17

play um that's a college is

8:19

Wagner I do not know where Wagner is

8:23

Wagner University Wagner

8:26

oh is it really the one and yeah

8:29

it is the one so it's in it's

8:31

in Staten Island hmm so

8:34

coastal but

8:38

it's a neutral sight game so you you can't

8:40

give them advantage either way there I

8:42

just feel like the see Hawk

8:44

you know here like pro tip

8:46

maybe they should change their mascot

8:48

from the Hawk to the Navy

8:50

helicopter just saying might

8:53

be superior in the mascot bracket um I

8:55

think a see Hawk would have a very

8:58

difficult time killing a bison unless

9:00

the bison was dumb enough to

9:03

like be scared into running off

9:05

a cliff or something but

9:08

based on our experience with bison

9:10

in Yosemite I know it's so

9:12

nice I'm Yellowstone I

9:15

I don't think they're that easily

9:17

scared off by like animals birds

9:19

whatever so maybe the bison would

9:23

somehow get the see Hawk yeah that

9:25

would be my guess and now the

9:27

bison faces the are old from the

9:29

Tar Heels that's a civil war fighter

9:31

so a very rudimentary gun but that's

9:33

it wait what what happened in real life

9:35

oh the bison one oh sorry the see Hawk

9:38

one I apologize it was a close game so I'll get

9:41

I'll give you the choice I don't know that you

9:44

I'll give you the choice of which one of those whether you want

9:46

the real life results or you want the bison

9:48

result what is a Tar

9:50

Heel so it's the North

9:53

Carolina Tar Heels they they

9:56

have we've discussed the Ram but we've usually

9:59

used the old the

10:01

old term, which was, I

10:04

think it was a civil war fighter, but now they

10:06

use a RAM. You could look it up. You worked

10:08

in a lovely trade. It was

10:10

a state's pride, so it was like a – yeah. AI

10:14

is very concerned by my

10:16

question. I don't know how

10:18

to give a definitive answer in a hypothetical

10:21

fight scenario. Sorry,

10:26

it would be Bison against Tar Heel

10:28

or Seahawk against Tar Heel? Yes. I

10:31

mean, I figure maybe we should

10:34

skew toward reality since it's just

10:36

a game. In

10:38

that case, I would say the Tar

10:43

Heel. I mean, I don't see

10:45

what the Seahawk could really do.

10:49

I figure the Tar Heel can just – if

10:51

it gets close enough, it'll just break its

10:53

neck or something, right? I

10:55

think that's pretty reasonable. Okay,

10:57

so then the next one is Spartan versus

11:00

Bulldog. Lots of Bulldogs this year. Yeah.

11:02

I mean, I do know

11:04

that Bulldogs were bred to

11:06

be fearsome. I think they

11:08

were originally hunting dogs, too,

11:11

but a Spartan has armor, right?

11:13

Correct. It has at least a shield. I believe it has a

11:16

sword as well. Yeah.

11:19

Rough day for the Bulldog. Three

11:21

times down, it's not going to

11:23

win against a Spartan. Okay. Next

11:25

one up is an Antelope versus

11:27

a Gale, but this is not

11:29

the wind gale. It is an

11:32

Irish warrior, G-A-E-L, the college's St.

11:34

Mary's. Okay. Oh, wow.

11:36

Against a what, again? He

11:39

looks strong

11:42

but not particularly

11:44

prepared. He doesn't

11:48

have any weapons at all. I

11:51

don't see a weapon. But

11:55

he's also facing an antelope. I guess they have

11:57

protection. They do. I mean, I see.

12:00

I think they could headbutt. This

12:02

is another question for AI.

12:04

Hold, please. Oh,

12:07

yeah. Helpful reminder, antelopes

12:10

are gentle herbivores. Which

12:13

is also a problem in

12:15

the mascot bracket. Yeah,

12:17

come on, guys. Let's think

12:19

about this. So they do

12:21

kick, they do headbutt. They

12:23

do have antlers for goring

12:25

and stomping. But

12:30

the gale doesn't seem particularly... Well,

12:32

I guess it's a seasoned warrior

12:34

of some kind, right? Yeah, I

12:36

believe so. I think this

12:39

is questionable. But I'd like

12:41

to think that this person

12:43

just looking at them would

12:45

be able to figure out

12:47

how to kill an antelope.

12:50

But I just, without anything, I mean,

12:52

it could use a cape as sort

12:54

of a bull thing. But it really

12:57

has nothing else. You

12:59

know, this is a hard one, but I

13:01

actually think it has to be the antelope

13:03

because this guy really doesn't have much in

13:05

his arsenal that could hurt an

13:07

antelope. Now we get another cougar,

13:09

but it's facing an

13:12

old stalwart, the crimson tide. Which

13:14

is the color red? Ah,

13:18

I think of it as a red wave,

13:20

personally. Their mascot at the University of Alabama

13:22

is also an elephant, but we usually use

13:24

crimson tide more literally than the elephant. Right.

13:27

And so for me, a red wave

13:29

would be an algal bloom

13:32

of some kind. And

13:34

particularly probably a deoxynogenating

13:37

algal bloom. So like,

13:39

that water is not

13:42

viable. That's the kind of stuff that

13:44

could kill fish, let's say. So

13:46

you're a cougar, you are drinking that

13:48

water, and

13:52

it gets in your mouth whatever you're intending

13:55

to drink it or not. It's going to...

13:57

Yeah, I think the red tide... hide

14:00

would win. Like best case

14:02

scenario is it slowly gets sick

14:04

and dyes, but like worst cases

14:06

it just straight up drowns completely

14:09

reasonable to me crimson eyes advances.

14:11

Okay, a Lobo is a kind

14:13

of wolf versus a tiger. Oh,

14:16

it's the New Mexico Lobo if

14:18

you want to look it up

14:20

specifically. Okay. There

14:23

is a stark difference between the

14:25

graphic mascot and the physical mascot

14:27

in terms of intimidation. Okay, oh

14:30

boy, it has its tongue hanging

14:34

out. Who

14:36

made that design choice? Like that

14:38

just says I'm not here to

14:41

win. I mean, it's

14:43

also facing a tiger, but that's just me. Yeah,

14:45

yeah, this wolf is not

14:47

it. Tiger is gonna get

14:50

him for sure. Okay, Colgate

14:52

Raider. So I think we've done

14:54

Colgate before Colgate

14:58

like Colgate like the toothpaste. And I

15:00

believe it is the same human who

15:02

did it feels like a person like

15:05

a kind of like a look you looks kind of like

15:07

a pirate to me. Very like

15:09

a ghost pirate, very light

15:12

like not a human shade

15:14

of person versus

15:17

a

15:19

bear. So ghost pirate versus sure.

15:25

Though I don't think you should treat

15:27

this as a ghost more as a

15:29

very pale. Yeah, like a ghost, it

15:31

would do pretty well. But the ghost

15:33

actually would probably do solidly in this.

15:36

Yeah, like what's gonna be the ghost?

15:38

Maybe dragon. Yeah,

15:42

so let's say it's just

15:44

a very pale albino, I

15:46

guess, because red eyes. So it's

15:49

an albino. For yeah. What

15:52

species of bear do we know? It's

15:54

in Texas. So I think that would be

15:56

a brown bear. Black

16:01

bears live in Texas as well. They

16:04

can be found in the southern. Yeah,

16:06

I would guess it would be a

16:08

black bear. Black bears are not as

16:10

dangerous, but against that thing, I mean

16:12

I feel like it could... The

16:15

reason they're not as dangerous, they're

16:17

smaller, but also like they tend

16:19

to not be quite

16:21

as aggressive as like grizzly bears, not

16:23

quite as lethal. All the

16:25

save, if it's trying to kill you, it will.

16:28

Like you can climb trees, not that there are

16:30

trees on the court, but anyway, you get it.

16:34

Bear with me. Last one in this region

16:36

for the first round. The Dayton

16:38

Flyer, which looks like a person flying an

16:40

old-timey plane. I don't think he gets the

16:42

plane, it's just the person who flies the

16:45

plane. Versus

16:47

a wolf, so Nevada's the wolf pack, but

16:49

we've always singled out each one. They don't

16:52

get a pack just like everyone else doesn't

16:54

get a pack of their thing. So

16:56

single wolf versus man and goggles?

16:59

Yes. And a tank top? It

17:02

appears as such, yes. I

17:05

mean I wouldn't want to go up against a wolf

17:07

and a tank top and goggles. I

17:10

feel like I would be done for, and I

17:12

don't see what this flyer has on me. It

17:15

might take a while. It could be a

17:18

long thing, but ultimately the wolf

17:20

has got to get that one. Next

17:22

up, wait, did they change their mascot? So

17:25

I need to look up Long Beach State.

17:28

Long Beach State might have changed their mascot. Oh,

17:32

yes. Is it a shark? It is

17:34

now a shark, and so it's a

17:37

shark versus a wildcat. What was it

17:39

before? It was a prospector? Sorry,

17:42

shark versus wildcat? Yes.

17:46

You know, shark, there's,

17:49

yeah, no, that's not even a

17:51

question. Wildcat versus

17:53

shark, there's way too

17:55

small and puncturable. Oh,

17:58

you're going to enjoy looking this one up. So the

18:00

next one, I believe this is the first time

18:02

we've ever done them in the mascot bracket, the

18:05

Longwood Lancers. Their mascot is

18:07

named Elwood. Elwood, the blue-haired

18:09

horse? It

18:12

appears as such, yes. And

18:14

he is facing a cougar. Oh,

18:17

interesting. I mean,

18:21

cougars aren't that big, but

18:24

let me look at the cougar mascot. What

18:26

school is it? University of Houston. Is

18:29

it like a girl cougar? Let

18:31

me look it up. I'm

18:37

not trying to make a thing, but it's

18:39

just like the one girl mascot. I believe

18:41

they have both a male and female cougar.

18:44

They're pictures of two. I mean props. That's

18:46

pretty interesting. UCLA actually has

18:48

that as well. They have a

18:51

girl and boy bear? Yes, they do.

18:53

Joe and Josephine Bruin. How

18:55

did I never know that? Oh,

18:58

you know what their names are? I just see on the

19:00

slide. Shasta and fossil. Say

19:03

that five times fast. Okay,

19:07

so one of these two cougars

19:09

versus a horse. The

19:11

horse does look kind of

19:13

menacing and big. But

19:17

you can consider the mascot interpretation or you

19:19

can consider the actual animal. That's our general

19:21

rule. So you can consider whichever one you

19:23

want. Yeah, I just I

19:26

think the horse could like

19:29

theoretically get like a really

19:31

strategic kick in. But

19:34

really all you would need to do

19:36

is get like make the horse bleed.

19:38

So I think the horse would

19:40

have to be much more skilled than the cougar

19:43

to win in this. In

19:45

terms of the rankings, it is not. The

19:47

cougar is more skilled. Okay, then that

19:49

case, I'll give it to the cougar.

19:52

I theoretically it could go either way.

19:54

If you told me the horse was

19:56

much more, I don't know, aggressive. Maybe

20:01

I would say it could get a

20:03

good ticket on the cougar, but yeah,

20:05

let's go cougar. Okay. This

20:08

one is funny. I thought of it with an incorrect terminology.

20:10

It was kind of funny. It's funnier both ways, so I'm

20:12

going to have you – I'm just going to have you

20:14

do it in the abstract very quickly, and then I'll correct

20:17

what it is. So it's a corn

20:19

husker versus an aggy. I originally – so a

20:21

corn husker is a person who husks corn. It's

20:23

not – you know, it's a big – and

20:25

then I had thought that an aggy was a

20:27

cow. However, you should look up what

20:30

the Texas A&M aggy actually is. I

20:32

figured it was a farmer, and I was like,

20:34

aren't they the same? Okay, so you said cow

20:36

versus a corn husker? No,

20:38

no. So it's Texas A&M – sir, I want you to

20:40

search what the Texas A&M aggy is, and then you can

20:42

decide on this fight. It's going to be very funny. Is

20:45

it lassie? It

20:47

seems to be a collie, yes. And

20:50

not even a mascot, just like an

20:52

actual collie. It is the official mascot.

20:54

It is the highest ranking member of the

20:56

Corps of Cadets and the only bearer of

20:58

five silver diamonds, according to a very quick

21:01

Google search. No problem. And it certainly

21:03

appears to be a collie. Yes,

21:07

a good question of the collie. So

21:09

corn husker – Very happy collie. So

21:11

corn husker versus collie. I

21:13

mean, I think this is just really about

21:16

the nature of dogs, and this dog that

21:18

I'm looking at particularly – well, like lassie

21:20

or collies. We think

21:22

of them as being extremely subservient to

21:24

people. So I

21:26

have a really hard time imagining this

21:28

dog, much less any other dog, like

21:31

truly attacking a farmer

21:34

with – like, I don't know. This

21:37

dog doesn't seem like a killer to me. Like, I'm just

21:39

going to be honest. It's

21:41

wearing a cape and

21:44

prancing around a field and

21:47

being very nicely pet by a lot

21:50

of people. I don't think that this

21:52

dog has it in him to be

21:54

dangerous. So weirdly,

21:56

like, I think the corn husker would

21:58

lose to almost – anything

22:00

else. But

22:02

it'll beat the collies. So

22:05

Cornhusker. Husker. Okay, so the

22:07

next one I know this is a mascot

22:09

that you generally like is the Badger. And

22:11

then you get to you get to search

22:13

this phrase James Madison mascot, and I will

22:15

provide no further commentary until you ask. Is

22:18

it like Yogi bear at

22:20

Mardi Gras? So I believe, I believe

22:22

when you look at the other

22:25

renderings, it is a

22:27

bulldog in a king's hat. Cool.

22:31

I am bewildered. It

22:34

is definitely a bulldog, even

22:37

though the mascot makes it look kind of like

22:39

a teddy bear. But

22:41

I guess that's the face

22:43

shape, you know, yes,

22:45

they're technically the dukes, but

22:47

they are they're interpreting Duke

22:49

as a bulldog. So we

22:52

basically have had two dressed up

22:54

dogs in a row. Yes. I'm

22:56

guessing they're both and I'm guessing they're

22:58

both losing. Wait,

23:01

what's this? What's this dolled up dog

23:03

against again? Badger Badger. Oh, yeah, no

23:05

badger. Come on, give me a break.

23:08

And please no dogs in

23:10

capes. Like, come on. Okay,

23:12

not fearsome. Okay, the

23:15

next one is the

23:17

Vermont catamounts. Oh,

23:19

okay. I've

23:22

always thought of it as kind of like a version of a

23:24

cougar. Yeah, it looks it

23:27

looks like a menacing cat. And

23:29

they're facing our old friend the blue

23:31

devil. Oh, gosh. Are

23:34

we considering it like person dressed

23:37

up as a blue devil? I

23:39

mean, you can consider it

23:41

the actual supernatural. It

23:44

is your interpretation. Why is it blue?

23:47

I don't know. I have a great answer for that. Um,

23:50

not Google it. It's the Duke blue

23:52

devil. Oh, it's just

23:54

because I should have guessed that

23:56

I didn't know what Duke's colors were, but it's

23:58

just one of their colors. The

24:02

deuce colors are blue and white and I guess

24:04

they didn't really put the white devil. Just

24:08

guessing. Okay,

24:12

so and then they've

24:14

got, sorry, it's against

24:17

the acutary looking thing.

24:22

I think that

24:25

it's tough. I mean, if you

24:27

want to say it's like a devil

24:30

devil, then theoretically it could like possess

24:32

this cat and like get it to

24:34

run off of a ledge or something.

24:37

Get it to run its head into

24:39

something. I don't know, cause injury. But

24:41

you could also make the argument that

24:44

like devils are like

24:46

people are scared of the devil, not cat,

24:48

you know? I

24:50

mean, I know people say cats can see

24:52

ghosts and spirits and stuff, but like this

24:54

blue devil, I don't

24:56

know if a cat

24:59

would be scared of a spirit

25:01

like that. Unless

25:04

it had a possessing power, which I don't,

25:06

I'm not going to be willing to give

25:08

this blue devil, I

25:10

keep wanting to say white devil, power

25:12

over. So yeah, I'll

25:15

go with the cat, whatever the cat was called.

25:19

Catamounts. Catamounts. Catamounts

25:21

aren't scared of devils.

25:23

Okay, next up is

25:25

the Texas Tech Red Raider. You've compared him

25:28

before to Yosemite Sam. That's the analogy that

25:30

you've made before. And

25:32

Yosemite Sam, trademark, patent, whatever,

25:34

facing a wolf. Oh,

25:38

wow. Does Yosemite Sam have any

25:40

weapons? Some of the

25:42

renderings, he has like old pistols. And

25:44

then I believe the mascot doesn't have

25:46

that, but I would say that's fair

25:49

for him to have if he's Yosemite

25:51

Sam type character. I agree.

25:53

So in that case, Yosemite Sam

25:55

takes it. Hey, we got a wolf that lost.

25:57

Ooh, this is a fun one. versus

26:00

Golden Grizzly. Is that like...

26:03

I would assume it's a grizzly bear. A

26:05

brown bear. A grizzly bear. A

26:08

grizzly bear with a... Yeah, but the

26:10

Oakland... I think it's Oakland... I

26:12

believe it's Oakland University. They're the Golden Grizzlies,

26:14

not the Grizzlies. For whatever reason. Ugh,

26:17

I don't know. Okay. Sorry,

26:19

Golden Grizzly against what again? Wildcat.

26:22

Oh. Yeah. Golden Grizzly.

26:24

For obvious reasons. We get a... and now we

26:26

get another play in. So this will be one

26:28

game and then the winner plays in the next

26:31

one. This game has not yet occurred.

26:33

It is a Bronco versus a

26:36

Buffalo. Ooh. Another one that has

26:38

almost certainly happened in real life. Hmm.

26:41

Again, I feel like the

26:44

Buffalo really lacks... well, these

26:46

are two non-predatory animals. Let

26:50

me think about those. Size-wise,

26:52

obviously, bigger. But

26:55

they're just really non-aggressive.

27:00

I think of a Bronco at least

27:02

as being more active, like potentially

27:05

combative, let's say. So

27:08

it would take a lot to take

27:10

down a Buffalo if you're a horse.

27:14

But it would also probably take a lot

27:16

to take down a horse if you're a

27:18

Buffalo, honestly. Like pretty fair match, maybe. I

27:22

reluctantly am going to give

27:25

it to the horse just

27:27

for dexterity and motivation points,

27:30

I guess you could say. And

27:33

now the Bronco faces a Gator.

27:36

Oh. Wow. Hmm. This

27:39

is another one of those where I

27:42

could see the Gator for sure being

27:44

able to name the horse to the

27:46

point that it would eventually die. But

27:48

also then a horse could get

27:50

a good kick in and get

27:52

the Gator off. I

27:55

think that just given the size of

27:57

the horse and the fact that if

27:59

even if... Gator got like one leg,

28:01

let's say of a horse, it would still

28:04

have a lot of kicking ability, a lot

28:06

of fight back. So

28:08

I would say horse. Got it. We're

28:11

moving on to a different region. Okay. And

28:14

the oh, you'll want to

28:16

look this up the Western Kentucky mascot.

28:18

It's there the hilltoppers. Oh,

28:24

it looks like a red hot come to life.

28:27

Its name is big. It

28:30

doesn't have any features

28:33

other than eyebrows and eyeballs.

28:37

Wow. What a what a mascot.

28:41

Okay. There's

28:43

a picture I'm seeing of it

28:45

next to grimace from McDonald's. And

28:48

they have like very similar, you

28:51

know, shapes going on. Wow. They certainly

28:53

appear to. And so it is facing

28:55

a golden What is

28:58

this red blobs like

29:00

raison d'etre? Like, I

29:02

don't know. I

29:06

think he's just a red blob. I

29:10

don't think you get any further color. I

29:13

mean, it's mouth is very

29:15

funny, I have to say.

29:17

It's like almost always I mean, here's the thing

29:21

I will say about the hilltop. If you're going

29:23

to go this direction, at least they went far,

29:25

like they went far. Yeah. Like I respect that.

29:30

And like, what exactly is an

29:32

eagle gonna do to that? Really?

29:34

I mean, it doesn't have much

29:39

of a body to speak of. And you said

29:41

what kind of eagle? Sorry, a golden

29:43

eagle. Let me look up that mascot.

29:45

So that's Mark, Marquette is the school.

29:48

Okay. Oh,

29:54

that's a pretty angry looking eagle. This is

29:56

another thing like so how the The

30:00

real question in my mind here

30:02

is size. Like, is it eagle

30:04

sized or is it eagle mascot

30:06

sized? And then is it red

30:08

hill popper? Is it

30:10

like, is this some sort of mark

30:12

that goes at the top of a

30:15

hill? So the description that

30:17

the school uses is that the red

30:19

blob is described as the spirit of

30:22

Western. A huge furry... So they describe

30:24

him as huge. Huge furry lovable creature.

30:26

Lovable? According to them. Okay, and huge.

30:30

Okay, I'm looking... So I asked AI about

30:32

why. And

30:35

there's a story that Legend

30:38

House at the mascot's roost traced back to

30:40

a former groundskeeper at the school in

30:42

the early 1900s who

30:45

wore a traditional popper

30:47

as he tended to

30:49

the landscape on the

30:51

hilltop campus. So

30:53

it's named after a groundskeeper's

30:56

hat. Okay. That

31:00

is really not doing them any favors. Yeah,

31:04

that's pretty wild. It's

31:07

obviously a charismatic groundskeeper's hat,

31:09

but I cannot give this

31:11

thing a win over an

31:14

actual animal, especially if the

31:16

backstory is hat related. I

31:19

mean, a hat lost to a dog. Okay,

31:24

one more play in. This one

31:26

should be easier. Bobcat versus tiger. Tiger. Sorry,

31:29

bobcat. And then the tiger faces the

31:31

blalear maker. And if you remember, that

31:33

is a person who makes blalears. And

31:36

they have like a poker maybe? Yeah, so

31:38

it's Purdue if you want to look it up. Yeah,

31:41

I'm going to. Well,

31:44

he does have a robust hat. And

31:47

I believe he has some sort of hammer in

31:50

certain things, like a small hat. He

31:52

does. He has like a...

31:54

Yeah, he has a hammer. And a

31:56

hat. I mean, he's not totally unarmed,

31:58

but against its actions. predatory

32:00

tiger. I don't think he's got a

32:02

lot going on. If it was a

32:05

Spartan, that would be a different game.

32:07

But like he literally in every picture

32:09

has like bare arms, which is not

32:11

gonna end well. And bare face. So

32:13

tiger. Oh, this is a fun one. So

32:15

this is the Utah State Aggies. So

32:17

it's a different Aggie. There's

32:20

is a ball that you look it up. A

32:23

blue bull. I think that is a

32:25

reasonable interpretation. And they're the Aggies, but

32:27

Aggie is often some sort of cattle.

32:30

And they're facing the horned

32:33

frog. Oh, come on. Really?

32:35

Well, I just want to look

32:37

up the mascot. It's

32:39

TCU. Oh, that's a

32:41

great mascot, I will say. Yeah,

32:44

the visual flare. It's great. Yeah,

32:46

it kind of reminds me of

32:48

the box fish. But no, like,

32:50

obviously, this blue bull is gonna

32:52

get it. It's a

32:56

little off-putting as a

32:58

mascot, but it's definitely gonna

33:00

stomp on a lizard. Cowboy

33:04

versus bulldog. Oh, man. Do

33:06

bulldogs win against anything? Maybe

33:09

they win against that red

33:11

blob. We may run into something

33:13

that a bulldog may beat very soon. Cowboy,

33:18

they almost always have guns. If

33:21

not, they have ropes. So like, no.

33:23

Okay, so here's the real question. Can

33:26

a bulldog beat a fictional bird, the

33:28

Jayhawk? Let

33:33

me look it up. What mascot is it?

33:35

The University of Kansas. Oh,

33:40

boy. Well,

33:43

the thing is, like, could the

33:45

fictional bird beat the dog? I'm

33:47

gonna say, no, it seems sort

33:50

of too can-ask, I'm gonna say,

33:52

maybe. Would you agree? Yeah,

33:55

I mean, I would say it's maybe more of like,

33:58

I was thinking more of like a Woody woodpecker

34:00

type deal, but that's just me. Oh,

34:02

so it's small. Either gets kind of

34:04

small. Well, I

34:06

mean, most birds aren't the size of like

34:08

a human. In fact,

34:10

very few. But I mean,

34:12

it could be bulldog sized. Either

34:15

way, I really don't see

34:18

a woodpecker woodpecker esque thing getting

34:20

to a bulldog, even though they

34:22

do have this tiny mouth, so

34:25

it'd be like pretty hard. But yeah,

34:28

I think we finally need to let the

34:30

bulldog win. So yeah, it'll get this one.

34:32

I think you're gonna love this one way

34:35

too much, though the actual fight might not

34:37

be as fun. It's a birdfight, a Gamecock

34:39

versus a duck. Okay, let me

34:41

look up the Gamecock. South Carolina. It's

34:49

an interesting looking

34:51

mascot. And

34:53

then if you want to look up the duck, it's

34:56

Oregon's duck. It I believe they pay a copyright. It's

34:58

basically Donald Duck. Okay. Oh, oh,

35:00

God, like he has a really friendly

35:02

looking duck. I mean, neither of these

35:05

birds are particularly

35:10

impressive. But I think the

35:12

menacing level is at least

35:14

higher with the University of

35:16

South Carolina. Is

35:18

the Gamecock a real bird? I believe

35:21

it is. Okay, let me see. It's a rooster

35:24

it's a type of rooster that they use for cockfighting.

35:27

Oh, okay. Well, it is.

35:29

Yeah. I think that the

35:32

Gamecock is gonna win because

35:34

it's at least built in

35:36

bread for fighting. And the

35:39

duck is I mean, arguably

35:41

built in bread for eating. But

35:45

at least not for

35:47

fighting a more

35:49

aggressive bird. Although duck fights I

35:51

would watch just saying yeah, I kind of wish we'd

35:54

had a duck versus a horse because of the whole

35:56

duck size horse thing. But that alas, that did not

35:58

happen this year. Okay, you

36:00

get to look one up Akron University

36:03

the University of our grandmother is it

36:05

a Buckeye it no that's Ohio State

36:07

They're the zips and their mascot is

36:09

okay interesting Okay, I will note

36:11

that even though this is not their current mass so

36:14

it's a zips is a

36:16

kangaroo Yeah it's very

36:18

obviously a kangaroo and the

36:20

reason they're called the zips because I look

36:22

this up is because they wanted to be

36:24

the zippers because zippers were a big shoe

36:26

that's Bead in Akron and then it got

36:29

shortened to the zips and how that became

36:31

a kangaroo I have no idea anyway, so

36:33

let's call it kangaroo. I think that's the

36:35

most fair interpretation versus a blue jay Okay,

36:37

hang on a second. Hmm. I

36:40

can't find anything about why that

36:42

University changed the kangaroo as a

36:44

mascot but kangaroos are large and

36:47

quite aggressive and I

36:49

I really have trouble seeing what a blue

36:52

jay could ever do I keep envisioning

36:54

like the kangaroo like Snatching

36:56

the blue jay and like stuffing it

36:58

in its pouch and then like the

37:00

little Joey inside the pouch like then

37:02

kicking the blue Jays, but Like

37:07

a double beat like it like it's your duckin. Yeah,

37:09

I like it. Yes. It's kangaroos

37:11

on kangaroos So

37:13

therefore I choose a zipper Okay,

37:16

then we have another one that has already

37:18

happened, but I'll give it to you just

37:20

for fun ram versus Catholic So we

37:22

think of it as like kind of the musketeer type guy.

37:25

Yeah, I want to say Ram

37:27

for that And that's who

37:29

actually want the Rams beat the Cavaliers and

37:32

now they are playing the Longhorns. So that's

37:34

like a steer Okay, Ram versus deer Hmm

37:38

Rams are smaller. I think

37:41

I believe they're smaller and meaner

37:43

if memory. Yeah, that's what I was

37:45

thinking to The

37:47

Longhorn are they ground for

37:49

food? I think so I'm

37:52

gonna look it up. The

37:54

Texas Longhorn is a brand of beef cattle.

37:56

Okay Then

38:00

I guess that a lot. Of. The fight may

38:02

be bad for at out of my

38:04

mother they do have see do a

38:06

big sense see her some lugging Heinz

38:08

ah know that they will say was

38:10

right They were brought to the Americas

38:12

by the senses divorce around the second

38:14

blaze of Columbus. Good to know. To

38:16

imagine being on the boat with that.

38:18

Bags. At

38:22

night says oh okay I

38:25

and flown of thing so

38:27

he also has no good

38:29

as it's. Yeah I think it's

38:31

the rams out as this thing like

38:33

listen it's big and if you had

38:35

it is a guy you at exactly

38:37

the right ankle. I think they could

38:40

be quite dangerous but if you were

38:42

smaller, meaner and also have horns I

38:44

think you just like go apis and

38:46

from like the back and read the

38:48

side and then sort of slowly make

38:50

your way up to the head once

38:52

it's like fallen down on yeah I

38:54

think the rampant I think the ram

38:56

a small a smart ran a strong

38:58

ram said take down. Along actually won

39:01

her message in the first round. I'm

39:03

a disease Be volunteers with such as

39:05

a certain to Tennessee mascot season either

39:07

Do it as a volunteer where you

39:10

can do it as. As

39:12

the zebra just are such as

39:15

the Mask I believe it's a

39:17

dog said they use violence that's

39:19

not a dog and it saves

39:21

is not a dive tapes and

39:23

as truthful it looks tired of

39:25

be done and sandal at and

39:28

says airplane seat Peters and St

39:30

Peter's. Is to Peacocks.

39:35

She's that's an interesting

39:37

one on. Volunteer

39:40

like what's is there any more

39:43

about That is to Tennessee. Mascot

39:45

some within within Us. So.

39:50

they have the damned dog for them

39:52

to dog's name is smoky was mascot

39:54

a dog it's a coon hound specifically

39:56

he has a z says are called

39:58

the phone because the state of Tennessee

40:00

was called the volunteer state after the

40:02

War of 1812. And

40:05

since it's, I believe, the first university, at least

40:07

the first public university in Tennessee, they used the

40:09

name of the state that already existed. Okay,

40:14

so there are a lot

40:16

of interesting stories about what

40:18

kind of volunteer this mascot

40:21

came from. There's a

40:23

sort of funny story of how it

40:26

might have come about, but there

40:28

are a couple of other answers that it could be

40:30

like people who volunteered for the War of 1812, or

40:34

people who volunteered to put out a fire.

40:36

Basically, what I wanted to figure out is

40:38

like, is there any chance that this is

40:40

a volunteer at like a zoo? A

40:45

volunteer that would feel like

40:47

kindness to animals was of

40:50

particular importance. And what I'm

40:52

getting from this is a

40:54

hard no. So

40:57

for that reason, I think

40:59

the volunteer wins. We

41:02

now start round two, Husky versus Owl. Oh,

41:05

wow. Okay, I definitely think

41:07

the Husky will win because

41:10

owls are fundamentally fragile. Tiger

41:13

versus dragon. Oh, wow. Oh, my

41:15

gosh. Oh, wow. Okay, so it's

41:17

a fire-breathed dragon dragon. Yes,

41:19

it is. University of Alabama, Birmingham, UAB. I'm going to

41:22

look it up. I

41:29

will say that their physical manifestation is a

41:31

lot less intimidating than the image. But

41:35

it does have wings and

41:37

something that seems to represent

41:39

fire. Yeah, there's nothing that seems to

41:42

prevent it from, I mean, other than

41:44

that they don't let mascots breathe fire

41:46

for legal reasons. The

41:49

derp factor is high with

41:51

this one. But, you

41:54

know, it's a soft mascot

41:56

dragon. You

41:58

know, tigers do. really well

42:01

in the bracket but they

42:03

start losing ground to weapons

42:05

to weather events

42:07

to things like

42:10

this and

42:12

I believe that the dragon will

42:15

handily be a tiger.

42:17

Cougar versus Eagle. Okay

42:20

um cougar I think would be

42:22

able to best an Eagle

42:24

for sure. Different cougar

42:26

versus cyclone. Oh

42:29

gosh okay um

42:31

I'm gonna see. So

42:34

this is the Washington State Cougar if

42:37

you want to look specifically and then

42:39

the cyclone that Iowa states the cyclones.

42:41

Okay yeah I

42:44

think that given the the

42:47

territory it's in the fact

42:49

that they are a cyclone

42:52

would severely disturb like the

42:54

directionality senses of the cougar

42:57

in addition to potentially knocking

42:59

it against something like you

43:01

know dangerous could cause like

43:04

a landslide.

43:07

So I think that the probability

43:09

of a cyclone killing a cougar

43:11

is reasonably high versus the

43:14

alternative. Okay yeah

43:16

yeah. Spartan versus Tar

43:18

Heel. Oh gosh remind me of

43:20

the Tar Heel again what does he do?

43:22

It's like a Civil War fighter is generally

43:25

what we've the way we've agreed to it.

43:27

Yeah that's right even though I'm seeing a

43:29

picture of a blue. A blue ram. Yeah

43:31

I mean if you want to

43:34

use the Ram you can use the Ram his name is Ramsey.

43:36

No I don't

43:38

want to I feel like that Rams been

43:40

through enough. You shouldn't paint

43:43

whatever whatever no comment. Spartan

43:47

has full armor right? Armor

43:49

shield sword I believe. Yeah

43:52

I mean I would love to

43:54

see them really fight like I

43:56

that's a fun mascot matchup. but

44:00

I kind of can't see the

44:02

Tar Heel winning against the Spartan

44:04

given the level of armor and

44:07

the Tar Heel, I believe it's

44:09

not gun wielding. Correct. Yeah.

44:13

I mean, maybe like a black powder

44:15

thing, maybe. Let's stick with Spartan. Antelope

44:18

versus Crimson Tide. Oh, okay.

44:20

So yeah, Crimson Tide and

44:22

Cyclone are pretty much our

44:25

two natural disaster things this time.

44:28

And at least for now, they're doing pretty well.

44:31

They tend to do well. Okay,

44:34

let's see. Antelope.

44:38

I mean, to me, the logic seems pretty

44:40

similar to the first round. Basically

44:42

drown or disease. But

44:46

I don't need to tell you which way to go. I'm just

44:49

going to look up. Okay,

44:51

I was looking up the antelope's

44:53

need for water. Like, is this

44:55

an animal that could handle, let's

44:57

say, just waiting it out? But

45:03

no, that is not true. They

45:05

have pretty high water demands and

45:07

also need regular, reliable access to

45:09

water. So for that reason,

45:11

it would drink from the Crimson Tide

45:13

and it would get sick and die.

45:15

So Crimson Tide. A classic

45:17

mascot bracket, Tiger versus Bear.

45:21

Clunzen Baylor if you want them. Okay, yeah, I

45:23

think I will. Okay.

45:28

Tiger looks a lot like Tigger, I'm going to be

45:30

honest. The

45:33

Baylor Bear looks a little bit more

45:35

menacing, to be honest with you. Where

45:38

are they playing? That's a good question. What

45:41

would that game be? Yeah, let me look for,

45:43

see if I can get an other region. That's

45:46

Baylor and Clemson. Memphis, Tennessee. Okay.

45:49

And Baylor is where?

45:51

Texas. They're the black

45:54

bear we were talking about before. Okay, so

45:56

Clemson. And then Clemson is South Carolina. Where

45:58

there are no native Tiggers. tigers. I

46:04

can't really see the tiger losing

46:06

to a black bear. It's

46:10

theoretically like a really, really big

46:12

bear and a really small tiger

46:15

maybe, but if we're

46:17

assuming they're at similar

46:20

levels of maturity, I think

46:23

the predatory nature of the

46:26

tiger, it's familiarity

46:28

with stocking large prey

46:30

like this. I don't know. I just,

46:32

I feel like it has an edge over the bear. So

46:35

tiger. Wolf versus shark. Oh my gosh.

46:42

You know, I really, again,

46:44

I'm having trouble figuring out like

46:46

how a wolf could really take

46:49

into a shark. But

46:52

I think in part this is

46:54

because I'm assuming that this is

46:56

taking place at like a water

46:58

land interface point, you know? It

47:00

seems fair. I mean, you can't really be

47:02

specific about it. The game is being played in

47:04

Salt Lake City, so there are less shark access,

47:07

but I don't think that's a fair way to

47:09

do it necessarily. Right,

47:12

exactly. I think

47:14

that the shark, this is by the way, reminding

47:16

me of this YouTube video where

47:18

the shark like just basically

47:21

jumps onto the bow of the

47:23

fishing boat and is like flopping

47:25

around and everyone's freaked out on

47:27

the boat. I'm like, well, I guess that would

47:29

be like, oh, the shark can attack the

47:31

wolf, right? Just like jump onto

47:33

land. But

47:36

also like if the wolf goes into the

47:38

water, it is completely screwed. If

47:40

the shark goes onto the land, like

47:42

maybe the wolf could get it, but

47:44

that's still a pretty big maybe. So

47:48

I would say shark. Our old

47:50

friend, the corn husker versus a cougar. Oh,

47:53

and he's armed with presumably

47:55

an ear of corn or

47:58

whatever you use to husk corn. Which

48:00

is your hand, right? Do you have a phone

48:03

with an instrument? Yeah. I

48:06

think so. Yeah, he

48:08

doesn't have weapons that I can see. Okay. They've

48:12

changed the look a few times, but I don't think he's

48:14

ever had weapons. Just hands. You

48:16

know, I don't really think

48:18

of...let's see. Okay.

48:20

So there have been

48:22

some fatal cougar attacks

48:24

in North America. Not

48:26

a lot. And mostly

48:28

children. Maybe exclusively

48:31

children? I

48:35

don't know. There are some older people. Oh, this

48:38

one's sad. Mother killed while defending

48:40

her six-year-old son. Definitely

48:45

mostly children. But like, they

48:49

do kill some adults. But there's a

48:51

reason why there aren't that many cougars.

48:54

But I don't know how much you could

48:57

do to a cougar with like zero weaponry.

48:59

So I will

49:01

say cougar mostly for the lack

49:03

of weapons. Yeah,

49:05

that's my final answer. Catamount?

49:08

So we talked about that before versus Badger.

49:11

Oh, okay. Where

49:13

are they playing? It

49:15

is in Brooklyn, New York. Ooh. Yeah,

49:19

it's really just a matter of who

49:21

can get in a lethal bite first,

49:23

I would say. And

49:26

I think that because it's like

49:28

low profile, I feel like the

49:31

Badger is more likely to get

49:33

a first bite. So Badger. Wolf

49:35

versus Golden Grizzly. Oh.

49:39

It's just one, so I'm going to

49:42

say Golden Grizzly. Makes sense.

49:44

Bronco versus Golden Eagle. I

49:49

know I've had some creative ideas in

49:51

the past of how a bird could

49:53

be like a land mammal. But

49:56

I feel I don't know. I'm feeling pretty

49:58

bullish on horses. things today.

50:02

But the Bronco could kick an

50:04

eagle. Eagles are pretty big,

50:06

like at least in my

50:08

experience. But their

50:11

ability to do enough damage to

50:13

a horse before the horse could

50:15

do sufficient damage to an eagle,

50:18

I think is low, relatively low. So I

50:21

would say Bronco. Bronco advances.

50:23

Okay. Utah states that was the

50:25

blue cow. I think that's kind

50:27

of how we described it. Right.

50:30

Versus a tiger. Oh,

50:33

I feel like this is also, well,

50:35

not the blue part, but I feel like

50:37

this happened in real life. And I think

50:39

that the tiger could take down a cow.

50:42

So somehow the cowboys now get to face

50:44

another bulldog. I assume it's going to be

50:46

the same result. Yeah.

50:49

Yeah. Okay. Our friends, the

50:51

Zips, the kangaroo versus a

50:53

gamecock. Oh, I feel like

50:56

exactly the same thing. Like

50:58

it's going to be kangaroo

51:00

hurts thing initially sticks in

51:02

pouch. Joey kills

51:04

gamecock. Yeah. Volunteer

51:06

versus Ram. Huh. Okay.

51:10

I know I really had a strong

51:12

feelings about the Ram, but I'm thinking

51:15

more and more about

51:17

the AI response about the long horns

51:19

fan. You can go back and reverse

51:21

your answer if you want. That's very

51:23

easy for me to do formatting wise.

51:26

Well, I don't know.

51:28

So it's cowboy either way

51:30

of be them versus a

51:32

cowboy. This is the volunteer, the Tennessee

51:34

volunteer. Oh, the volunteer, the volunteer. Okay. Got

51:37

it. And this in my mind

51:39

is a volunteer for war or

51:41

firefighting something

51:44

aggressive. A manual

51:47

labor volunteer of some kind.

51:49

Okay. Let's see. But

51:52

let's say generally unarmed. Yeah.

51:54

I mean, if it was, if it was war of 1812, there

51:57

weren't a whole lot of arms then. Yeah.

51:59

So like, I mean, I want

52:01

to give the volunteers some

52:04

credit for its bravery, but

52:06

I feel like I'm just

52:08

going to look this up. I've

52:10

100% care that Longhorns

52:13

have killed people. Well, this is

52:15

Ram, the same basic idea. I'm just, that's why I'm

52:17

going to look it up. It

52:20

does happen. Yeah,

52:22

you could, like if you're a Ram,

52:24

you basically just get, like hit them

52:27

once in sort of their core of

52:29

their body and they most

52:31

likely are going to get like internal

52:33

injuries. So I

52:35

think that, yeah, I mean, I

52:38

think it determined Ram and a

52:40

farmer who had, or volunteer, sorry,

52:42

that had no escape path would

52:45

eventually get killed by Ram, but it

52:47

would be pretty gruesome. So where did you

52:49

end up? Ram. Ram.

52:52

Okay. That's what I thought. Okay.

52:55

Back, now we're in the Sweet 16. So we're getting closer. Should

52:57

be fast. Dragon versus Husky. Oh,

52:59

Dragon. Uh, Cougar versus Cyclone. This

53:03

is technically a different Cougar, but I'm guessing the

53:05

result is the same. Yeah, same result. Now a

53:07

very different one. Spartan versus Crimson Tide.

53:10

Oh, fun. Um,

53:12

okay. So my prior

53:14

thought was like, can the animal

53:16

wait out like the low access

53:19

to water? The question I would

53:21

have in this case would be

53:23

with the Spartan know that the

53:25

red water was

53:28

undrinkable. I

53:32

think they would. But then

53:34

again, your ability to swim in full

53:37

armor would be pretty severely limited. I

53:40

think that a resourced

53:43

Spartan, where are they

53:45

playing? So that's the

53:47

West Regional. I think West Regional was

53:49

LA this year. Mm, okay.

53:52

Yeah, it is LA. Alright,

53:54

let's see. So not

53:56

a lot of other groundwater sources,

53:59

I'd say. for the Spartan, but

54:02

something. And then,

54:04

so okay, the tide can get to

54:06

the Spartan if the Spartan goes to

54:08

the water. Can the Spartan really do

54:10

anything to the tide? Yeah,

54:13

I mean, see, locally,

54:15

could pour a lot of stuff

54:17

in the water. I'm gonna, weirdly, I think that

54:21

the Spartan could figure its

54:23

way around either avoiding or

54:26

changing a red tide. I

54:30

think that's fair. Tiger versus shark. Oh,

54:33

wow. So

54:37

interesting. Tell

54:40

me where they're playing. Also,

54:42

LA. Okay, I'm

54:44

just thinking. I

54:48

would say, I'm inclined to say shark,

54:50

just because I know tigers have some

54:52

facility in water, so it's more likely

54:54

that this would take place more on the water side

54:56

of the interface. And I think

54:59

that the tiger could, sorry,

55:01

the shark could pretty easily

55:04

just drag the tiger down

55:06

and make it drown. So

55:09

shark, we'll win this one.

55:11

Badger versus cougar. Badger,

55:14

I think. Okay. Same reason, low

55:16

center of gravity. Yeah. Golden

55:19

Grizzly versus Bronco. Oh,

55:21

another one that I guess probably has it

55:24

some way happened

55:26

before. I'm gonna look

55:28

up the Golden Grizzly

55:30

again. This is Texas,

55:32

right? No, it's Oakland. Okay. But

55:34

I believe which Oakland is it? It's

55:36

not Oakland, California. Oh,

55:41

okay. This is another Oakland. Yes.

55:43

That was kind of menacing looking.

55:45

Yeah, they're in their Verizon league.

55:47

Yes, this Oakland is in Michigan.

55:50

Okay. I feel

55:52

like, you know, the fan would

55:54

be the better attacker, I would

55:56

say, if it could get a

55:58

good like grip. on

56:00

a horse, let's say. It's

56:03

true that the horse could

56:05

have some pretty good defensive

56:07

moves, but I kind

56:11

of think that like eventually the

56:13

bear would be able to get

56:15

close enough to deliver a really

56:18

damaging blow to the horse or

56:20

bite into the horse sufficiently to

56:22

injure it and like limit its

56:24

mobility and eventually take it down.

56:27

So bear. Any

56:29

sense to me? Tiger versus

56:31

cowboy. Tiger. No question. Cowboy

56:33

is unarmed, right? So this

56:36

is McNeese state. We can look it up.

56:38

Okay. What? How do you spell

56:40

McNeese? M-C-N-E-E-S-E.

56:43

Okay. Oh, and

56:45

his name is Rowdy. His name is

56:47

Rowdy, but he's not the dog on scrubs. So

56:50

he doesn't have a gun, but I would

56:52

say that if you were to interpret. He

56:54

does have a gun, doesn't he? He

56:56

definitely, like I would interpret it that

56:58

he does. Like it's kind of one of

57:01

those, like, because mascots never carry guns anymore.

57:03

But it's like, if you imagine this

57:05

entity outside of the kid family context, they

57:07

would have probably like a Yosemite Sam style

57:09

gun. That would be my instinct. Yeah.

57:12

Yeah. I agree with you. And I think

57:14

that even in the more modern version,

57:16

he at least has holsters, which like,

57:19

yes, he's

57:21

giving gun. But is that enough to, is that

57:23

enough to be the tiger? Yeah, a gun. Yeah.

57:26

Okay. So they win. Um,

57:28

the zip, the kangaroo versus

57:30

a ram. Oh, fun.

57:33

Um, I, that's

57:36

interesting. I'm gonna see what

57:38

I can learn about, like

57:41

the largest animals,

57:43

the kangaroo can kill. Yeah.

57:46

They don't really kill big

57:48

things like rabbit, fox. Um,

57:50

remind me again what they're

57:53

against. The kangaroo versus

57:55

ram. Yeah. I, I

57:57

think, um, that the ram,

58:00

um, Ram could, in the same way

58:02

that the Ram could injure the farmer

58:04

or whoever it was, they could do

58:07

the same thing to the kangaroo. Yeah,

58:11

I think the Ram would win. Okay,

58:13

we are down to eight. This

58:15

is, you're going to enjoy this one quite a lot. Dragon

58:18

versus Cyclone. Oh, fun. Okay,

58:21

so the Cyclone would make it, oh

58:23

yeah, okay. So here's what's going to

58:25

happen. The Cyclone will make

58:27

it impossible for the dragon to

58:30

fly and it'll get sort of

58:32

wound up in itself. And then

58:34

maybe it'll, so if the dragon

58:36

tries to breathe fire into the

58:38

Cyclone, the Cyclone can push the

58:40

fire back onto the dragon. And

58:44

I think that the Cyclone is going to win. It

58:48

is funny, I was like, what's going

58:50

to beat the dragon? And then I

58:52

saw the matchup and I'm like, oh,

58:54

well played, well played, Fate. Okay, Spartan

58:57

versus shark. Oh,

58:59

fun. If

59:04

you're a Spartan, you get dropped into

59:06

a tank with a shark, you're kind

59:08

of in your own shark cage, right?

59:10

Like kind of? A little bit. I

59:13

mean, not very much, but a little bit. Well,

59:16

we'll look at this mascot specifically. So

59:19

it's a Michigan State is the Spartan and

59:22

Long Beach State is the shark, but we

59:24

have, I don't think we have a physical

59:26

representation. It's just because they just

59:28

changed the mascot. So Michigan State is the

59:30

Spartan and his name is Sparty. Sparty

59:32

the Spartan? Yeah. All right. Oh,

59:35

it looks like they do have a mascot, Long Beach.

59:37

They have like a, you know,

59:39

like a person in a saying mascot.

59:41

Well, so they've just, they've recently changed. So that's

59:43

why I'm not sure if they're going to, if they're

59:45

going to modify it. Oh,

59:49

it's not LB. Oh no, I guess it is

59:51

LB. Maybe I was just confusing Long Beach and

59:53

Fullerton. No, cause no, they used

59:55

to be prospect repeat. So they have changed. I just

59:57

can't remember when they changed. There's a pretty

59:59

funny picture. I could really get

1:00:01

it like that left shark cartoon

1:00:03

meme with like the CSULBT shirt

1:00:05

on. Nice. It's

1:00:07

adorable. Okay, anyway, it's

1:00:10

a pretty menacing looking shark, I would

1:00:12

say. So, yeah, it's a white shark. And

1:00:15

then this spartan, oh, he's not as armed

1:00:18

as I thought. There is

1:00:20

a decent amount of exposed skin here.

1:00:25

And the heaviness of being in water,

1:00:27

the lack of weapons. Well, I

1:00:29

mean, it's at least a mixed surface. It's not

1:00:32

necessarily exclusively in water. Like it is located, so

1:00:34

there is water nearby. Yeah.

1:00:38

I, maybe a very industrious spartan

1:00:40

could kill a shark. This

1:00:44

spartan seems more upset than

1:00:46

aggressive. Okay. Like

1:00:50

his face is scowl, not

1:00:53

aggression. But the long

1:00:55

beached shark seems, I don't know, a

1:00:57

little more intimidating. It's

1:01:01

a good matchup. I think that

1:01:03

the, it kind of in the same way

1:01:05

of like the bear that just has

1:01:07

to get like a one good bite into

1:01:09

a horse to maybe take it down. I

1:01:12

think that's kind of our shark spartan situation

1:01:14

where like the shark will win because

1:01:16

it just only needs one good bite at

1:01:18

the apple to get it. Like you can

1:01:21

hit a shark a lot of times and not

1:01:23

hurt it. Yeah, you can only bite a spartan

1:01:25

so many times. And

1:01:28

then we keep coming back. So

1:01:30

shark. Golden grizzly versus badger.

1:01:33

Oh, yeah. So, I mean,

1:01:36

a lot of the things that the

1:01:38

badger has going for it, I think

1:01:40

don't really, like the grizzly just is

1:01:42

a better version of that. So

1:01:45

I think that the grizzly

1:01:47

will beat the badger. Last

1:01:50

elite eight, cowboy versus ram.

1:01:53

Oh, fun. Okay. I

1:01:56

think that in my mind, this

1:01:58

cowboy at least has like a.

1:02:00

Lasso we also

1:02:02

use somebody Sam's style gun was like yeah

1:02:04

exactly So I think

1:02:06

that this cowboy is like equipped

1:02:09

enough to take down a ram.

1:02:11

So cowboy final floor Cyclone

1:02:13

versus shark. Sorry cyclone versus

1:02:15

shark Game

1:02:20

well, but only answer that if you ask I

1:02:22

think that the cyclone could

1:02:25

not Penetrate. Let me

1:02:27

let me look up Hmm

1:02:33

So there are some examples, oh

1:02:35

gosh now I'm coming up with

1:02:37

like shark NATO pictures I

1:02:45

have to say so

1:02:48

Cyclones for sure can like

1:02:50

pull sharks out onto land

1:02:52

in ways that really Yeah,

1:02:56

kill them beach them essentially There

1:03:00

really are like kind of a lot of

1:03:02

articles about shark behavior during cyclones

1:03:04

in hurricane Yeah,

1:03:10

so as I expected they they

1:03:12

do know when weather is changing

1:03:17

But in this scenario the shark

1:03:19

is not allowed to just run away

1:03:22

from the cyclone. It has to

1:03:25

attempt to interact with

1:03:27

it So what

1:03:29

is the shark going to do to

1:03:31

impact the cyclone? I mean it could

1:03:33

it could probably wait it out You

1:03:36

see I'm gonna do a little bit more searching

1:03:42

Okay so Generally

1:03:45

speaking it seems like sharks do Avoid

1:03:48

severe weather some really large sharks will

1:03:50

not make as much effort to avoid

1:03:53

it So let's just say like each

1:03:55

thing is like at the top of

1:03:57

its game. So like a top tier

1:04:00

cyclone and like a top-tier shark.

1:04:02

This is where you end up

1:04:04

with like a shark NATO, right?

1:04:07

The cyclone will like suck

1:04:09

up the shark, carry it

1:04:11

onto land, and then drop

1:04:13

it. So unless the

1:04:15

cyclone takes up the shark and

1:04:17

drops it back in the ocean, and even

1:04:20

in that case that may still get damaged,

1:04:23

you still have the cyclone

1:04:25

coming out ahead. So you

1:04:28

know as a marine biologist deeply pains me to

1:04:30

say this, but I have to give it to

1:04:33

the cyclone in this case. Wow, I'm

1:04:35

not so... it's interesting. Understandable.

1:04:37

Golden Grizzly versus cowboy. You

1:04:40

know that's the other thing that really does

1:04:42

well consistently is like guns. Now that said,

1:04:47

the type of gun you've

1:04:49

described might not

1:04:51

be great for bears. Let

1:04:53

me see, oh my computer

1:04:56

just died. I will

1:04:59

just have to... So I think

1:05:02

you could kill a bear with a Yosemite

1:05:05

Sam-esque gun eventually,

1:05:07

but I also

1:05:09

feel like you might not. And a

1:05:13

determined bear can 100% kill

1:05:16

a person. So

1:05:18

that's kind of a toss-up. This

1:05:21

is also in LA I presume. Phoenix.

1:05:24

Hot weather for

1:05:26

a bear for sure. I still

1:05:30

think that bear, I think that bear

1:05:32

could take down a cowboy with

1:05:34

enough motivation. Yeah.

1:05:37

National Championship. Golden Grizzly

1:05:39

versus cyclone. Okay. Hmm.

1:05:42

So in the way that the

1:05:44

cyclone bested the mountain lion, was

1:05:46

it something of a wild large cat

1:05:48

family? Something in there. You know it

1:05:51

screws up their navigational ability. It

1:05:53

could physically ram

1:05:55

them against things. Bears

1:05:57

have bears hibernate. You

1:06:00

know, unlike the poor Jackrabbit earlier on,

1:06:02

the town is like an old

1:06:04

dust bowl. They're

1:06:07

not, I don't think, likely to

1:06:09

get like sucked up in the

1:06:12

Sharknado type of way. So

1:06:16

it is, I think the bear

1:06:18

has the highest probability of surviving

1:06:21

a cyclone. They also

1:06:23

can swim. Could

1:06:26

a bear do anything to a

1:06:28

cyclone? Not really. I

1:06:31

mean, I can survive it, outlast it. Right.

1:06:34

I mean, that's pretty much the way you

1:06:36

can, you know, beat a cyclone. And

1:06:39

a football game is how many hours long? Basketball

1:06:42

game is... Basketball game, sorry. Rough,

1:06:44

I mean, so the play is 40 minutes

1:06:46

long. The game itself is two and a

1:06:48

half. Like, that's not very long

1:06:51

for a cyclone. So could a bear

1:06:53

outlast a 40 minute

1:06:55

cyclone? I

1:06:58

think so. I think the bear would

1:07:00

win. Okay. Congratulations

1:07:02

to the Oakland University

1:07:04

Golden Grizzlies. They are

1:07:06

winning this year's mascot

1:07:09

bracket. Amazing. Amazing. I

1:07:11

don't know if we've ever had a bear

1:07:14

come out on top. It's usually like mythical

1:07:16

figures and weather events, but this was just,

1:07:18

this was the matchup. I

1:07:23

am saving. I am saving it. And

1:07:25

it is in. Well, thank you so much

1:07:27

for taking the time. It was a lot of fun, as always. Thank

1:07:30

you. Have a good night. Hope

1:07:32

you enjoyed the mascot bracket even a portion as

1:07:34

much as I enjoy doing it. My

1:07:36

sister and I have a lot of fun with that. And

1:07:39

there will, of course, be a proper real

1:07:41

GM radio later this week. I actually do

1:07:43

not have a guest firmed up yet, but

1:07:45

we'll have something by the end of the

1:07:47

week. And you can share

1:07:49

this. It's so

1:07:51

different that sometimes on social media, word of mouth

1:07:53

stuff, you can send it to people who wouldn't

1:07:55

normally enjoy this kind of stuff. But I

1:07:58

love doing it. It's so much fun. why it

1:08:00

is still a part of the real GM radio

1:08:02

story. And so, thank you so much for listening,

1:08:04

take care, and make it a great day.