0:00

Josh, we've made it to the planet

0:03

with the freemen. There's sand everywhere. There's

0:05

a secret weapon we need to harness

0:07

to take back the freedom for our

0:10

people. What is it? It's

0:12

this giant speaker that rumbles

0:14

at the same frequency as the

0:17

worm and it plays only Reddit

0:19

podcasts. Josh, you've done it again.

0:22

Now let's free the people by telling

0:24

them about this incredible podcast. Translation,

0:27

go listen to OKOP

0:29

show from your

0:32

alien overlords. What's

0:34

up, Wicomaniacs? It's your boy

0:36

Sean. This week on Monday's

0:39

Reddit reading episode, we have

0:41

parents who want to adopt another

0:43

person's child. The

0:46

real reason that women really

0:48

hate passport bros, OP

0:50

who thinks just a little

0:53

manipulation isn't that bad and

0:55

a stepmom who becomes a mom

0:57

mom. And of course

0:59

it wouldn't be a Monday Reddit reading episode without

1:02

an amazing segment from the

1:04

amazing underbaki. But if

1:07

you're a patron, you're also going to get my

1:09

husband almost killed our baby.

1:12

That's right. If that doesn't pull you into

1:14

our Patreon, I don't know what will. Reddit

1:17

on Wiki starts right now. Hello,

1:21

what's up, Wicomaniacs? It's

1:32

your boy Sean with me today. J

1:34

and J say hello. What's

1:37

up? How's it going? Just

1:39

chilling. Chilling with my

1:41

awesome shirt. Nice

1:44

shirt, brother. Oh yeah. Where

1:47

can they find that Sean? Oh,

1:49

just on Reddit on wikishop.com. That's

1:52

right. The collection is

1:54

live and available. Y'all.

1:57

You guys asked for it. You guys begged for it.

2:00

Janelle followed through hardcore. This is

2:02

a sick design. Love the

2:04

look of it. Ock the rap tee. I

2:07

wore it on my hot girl walk today and

2:09

I was getting some I'm

2:14

yet to wear my hat out, but I

2:16

definitely mean to you know, what kind of

2:18

looks Josh lust Hi,

2:25

my name is Sean actually You

2:28

can Venmo me Long

2:35

as the Venmo is the same and correct

2:45

Five dollars I Do

2:48

have to say something we had a

2:50

lot of nice comments explaining the differences

2:52

between Oh my

2:54

gosh now that I'm on the spot, I'm forgetting the

2:56

terms but asexuality and

2:58

a Romance

3:01

I think my gosh. Yeah, don't I'm looking it

3:03

up right now a

3:06

romantic yeah and a sexual the

3:08

differences between the two so, you

3:11

know a lot of them gave us grace because You

3:14

know as we say we are three idiots

3:17

And also some of them were like a lot of

3:19

this is kind of just new to you know the

3:22

world so it's it's uh We're

3:25

thankful that you guys are trying to learn

3:27

but here's where you're wrong And so yeah,

3:29

I'm gonna go more into it because there

3:31

is a Venmo that is very okay. Okay

3:33

that explains all of it But essentially a

3:36

romantic we'll get to the differences in the

3:38

Venmo. Yeah Because

3:40

we're gonna read the long one, but yeah Yeah,

3:43

and if you are also confused like we were

3:45

but now we know So thank you, Wikipedia. Yeah,

3:47

thank you be fair. No matter how much things

3:49

are explained to me I will forget and

3:52

that's not out of that malice. I'm just dumb

3:54

as fuck Yeah,

3:56

I mean I I enjoyed the learning and

3:58

like I will try my

4:00

best going forward to differentiate

4:03

between. But yeah, I'm sure we'll

4:05

stumble here and there. But we

4:07

appreciate all of the kind comments. It's never out

4:10

of mallet. I will let you guys know. No,

4:12

no, no. Unless you're allergic to

4:14

goddamn ham peanuts. Just kidding. We already

4:17

did that. Alright, alright. Are we ready

4:19

to hop into the first story of

4:21

the day, boys? Let's

4:26

do it. Is this going to be one of your

4:28

sad sandwiches? Because the Browns are not okay today. Only

4:31

one of us is happy. I'll

4:33

say this. This

4:35

is an Oops All

4:38

Discord episode. Woah. All

4:41

of these stories were shared

4:44

to me through Discord. Some of them were

4:46

also posted in the subreddit, but they posted

4:48

that link to you. They

4:51

signal boosted it through the Discord. So

4:53

guys, it's hard to beat Mary

4:55

Gitts, but that's a

4:57

good direct way to do it. That's

5:00

one way to do it. It's

5:02

Discord. Shout out to all our

5:04

Discord members. That's

5:06

theirs now. We don't even own that

5:08

shit. That's theirs. Man. Just like the

5:10

subreddit. That's all theirs right

5:12

there. Alright, so with the

5:15

format of this though, even though

5:17

it's all Discord, some

5:19

are sad, some are happy. Just

5:21

a little forewarning because John

5:24

and I aren't great today. The first

5:26

story is going to be kind

5:29

of sad, but almost more shocking

5:31

than sad. And

5:34

then the two stories in between are a return to

5:37

a former segment that we used to do. I'm

5:39

sure you guys can guess it. Yeah, I heard that part. You

5:42

already know. And then what do you call it? And

5:47

then the last one is a endearing,

5:49

a wholesome post if you will. Wow,

5:52

you're getting all the emotions today. I

5:54

love it. Until we get to the

5:56

patrons, which is just filled with rage.

6:00

Yeah, that one sounded like it. Alright

6:03

this first story coming from r

6:06

slash true off my chest from

6:08

pearly complaints. This

6:10

was from discord. I don't know if they

6:12

want their reddit name known or their discord

6:14

name known or if it doesn't matter. But

6:17

on reddit they are pearly complaints. This

6:20

is parents want to adopt

6:22

somebody else's kids. Okay.

6:25

How does that work?

6:28

Don't you usually adopt people who are

6:31

kids who don't have parents.

6:34

Correct. Am I wrong? Am I

6:36

just dumb? That's that would be the scenario. I mean I

6:38

think you can adopt like

6:40

I guess like if you have a foreign

6:43

baby that's not that. Oh

6:45

I guess so. I was gonna give like an example.

6:47

My mom told me a story when she was younger

6:49

that like you know like we were all we were

6:51

raised in the Philippines and a couple in

6:55

that they know like a family friend really close they were

6:57

a little well off right so they

6:59

were trying to say like hey we want

7:01

to adopt they wanted to adopt my mom because they

7:03

wanted her to like go to school here but

7:06

like you know my mom's parents were like no that's our

7:08

kid but it was they were just trying to say like

7:10

hey we really loved your kid and we want to give

7:13

them like a like a better shot like at life because

7:15

you know life is a little harder over there so I

7:17

can see it too that they're probably trying to give

7:20

them a better life or a

7:22

better situation but it's Reddit so I

7:24

think this is gonna be one of those evil

7:26

stories it seems like. Fair

7:30

enough. I mean that that is just to me like if

7:32

that were to happen to me I feel

7:34

like that's kind of it

7:36

feels overstepping to be even that scenario. It

7:39

could be. A wild ask for sure. It

7:42

is. All right let's hop

7:45

into it. No fuck let's jump the fuck

7:47

in. I can't feel Josh's

7:49

bid I refuse to. What does that sure

7:51

do? Let's hop into it. Let's hop

7:53

into it. Janelle. And it's

7:55

just the devil's doorbell. Jesus

7:58

Christ. squatting

8:00

like in the wild. No. Like

8:04

him in a back like this. That'd be great. No.

8:11

I do not give my good stuff. Yeah, that's good.

8:14

Okay, here we go. All names

8:16

have been changed to protect everyone involved in

8:19

the story. I, 24,

8:21

year old female, am a

8:23

single mom to my son Owen, 8 years

8:25

old. It has just been us

8:27

since day one. His father isn't in the picture

8:30

and has been able to avoid child support for years

8:32

now. Jesus. Fucking

8:35

deadbeat. Yeah, deadbeat. My

8:37

own parents, in fact, disowned me. I

8:40

had to drop out of high school and I

8:42

have worked a myriad of jobs since then to

8:44

keep us afloat. We aren't

8:46

on the poverty line by any means,

8:49

but we definitely live paycheck to paycheck

8:51

in a one-bedroom apartment. It's

8:54

not ideal and I hope within the next

8:56

couple of years we'll be someplace bigger, but

8:59

for now, it is our situation. I've

9:01

raised Owen to know that money isn't everything.

9:04

We may not have a lot. He won't

9:06

always have the newest this or that, but

9:09

we will always have each other. The

9:11

two of us are very close. He

9:13

has never gone without the basics. But

9:17

I admit, he doesn't get a lot of

9:19

the fun extras. I tried to

9:21

save a little here and there to make birthdays

9:23

and holidays fun, but it's

9:25

still never anything glamorous. And

9:27

I think Owen was fine with that. Until

9:30

recently anyway. In our area,

9:33

all the public schools are based on

9:35

a lottery system. So

9:37

your child has a fair shot of going to any of

9:39

them so long as you put in their name. Our

9:42

neighborhood school is not great and in a

9:44

pretty crappy area, so I decided to put

9:46

him in a different one across town. It's

9:48

near my job, so it works out. Last

9:52

year, when he was in second grade, he met

9:54

Charlie. They began hanging out

9:57

a lot after school, with Owen going

9:59

to his place. I

10:01

met Charlie's parents, Nate and Paige,

10:03

a couple of times before this began. They

10:05

seemed very nice and supportive and

10:08

Owen always had a great time at their house. Charlie

10:12

occasionally came to our apartment

10:14

but usually they were at his

10:16

place, which made sense. I

10:18

work and there's really not much for them to

10:20

do here even when I am off. Now

10:22

summer breaks are easy to find care as

10:25

there are several free or low-cost camps that

10:27

I can put Owen in. It's

10:29

the shorter breaks such as Christmas and

10:31

Spring Break that are harder. Camp

10:34

space is limited. Spring

10:36

Break of 2022, I

10:38

managed to just miss the registration.

10:41

Now Paige is a stay-at-home mom and offered

10:43

to take care of Owen for the week.

10:46

I was hesitant to ask so much

10:48

of her but she insisted. He

10:51

had a really fun time with them, they did

10:53

a lot of activities and Paige refused my

10:55

attempts to pay her back at least some

10:57

of, I couldn't afford all of it, the

11:00

activities. I admit I did

11:02

feel a tad uncomfortable with her spending this

11:04

much money on my son but at

11:07

the same time I didn't want to deprive Owen

11:09

of this stuff. Summer came and

11:11

while I did get Owen into camp, he spent

11:13

a lot of time with Charlie as well. He

11:16

ended up going on vacation with them. I

11:19

was again very hesitant but

11:21

the experience was something I could never

11:23

give Owen and it wasn't too

11:25

far away. He had

11:27

a blast. I kept telling

11:29

Nate and Paige that there's no way I

11:32

could ever pay them back and they kept

11:34

insisting that they loved having Owen around. They

11:37

told me what a great kid he is,

11:39

so sweet and respectful. At one

11:41

point, I really pressed Paige as

11:43

to why she was so insistent on having

11:45

Owen around so much. That's when

11:47

she told me that they never planned for Charlie

11:49

to be an only child but all attempts at

11:52

giving him a sibling just didn't happen. They

11:54

know that Owen will never make up for not

11:57

having a brother but if they give him a

11:59

consistent playmate. He won't be so

12:01

lonely, then they'll do it. Should

12:04

this have been a red flag? Maybe.

12:07

But at the time, I found it sweet that the

12:09

boys considered each other brothers. I thought it

12:11

was innocent. Surely, Paige and

12:13

Nate knew the truth, right? Right?

12:16

This continued for a bit. Then came Christmas

12:19

break of 2022. Nate

12:21

and Paige insisted that I not even bother

12:23

to try to get Owen into a camp

12:26

because they'd take care of him for me.

12:28

I was grateful. They ended up getting

12:31

him more Christmas gifts than I did. Ugh.

12:34

I tried to set my pride aside because

12:37

it was about Owen and not about me. This

12:39

is still when things finally started seeming

12:42

off to me. I understood

12:44

a gift on his birthday and while

12:46

they didn't get him as many gifts as they

12:48

got Charlie, it was a lot more than you

12:50

would typically get your kid's friend. Fast

12:53

forward to now, spring break was

12:55

last week and this time, Paige

12:57

and Nate didn't just offer to take care of

12:59

him during the day while I worked. They

13:02

asked if Owen can spend the entire week

13:04

at their house. Honestly, it

13:06

meant I could pick up some shifts and save up

13:08

for the bike Owen wants for his birthday. So

13:11

I said yes. I went to pick

13:13

him up on Saturday afternoon. The

13:15

kids were playing out back so Nate and Paige

13:17

asked to talk to me. They sat

13:19

me down and said that they love Owen and

13:21

that he's always such a joy to have. I

13:24

thanked them profusely for all that they had done

13:26

for him. Paige then suggested

13:28

that Owen might stay a little

13:30

longer. I pointed out that Sunday, I

13:33

pointed out that Easter was Sunday plus school

13:35

started up on Monday. They said

13:38

they could take him to school. I felt

13:40

weird and said, no, it

13:42

was time for Owen to come home. That's

13:45

when Nate suggested that Owen stay

13:47

with them long term. Oh, that's

13:50

weird. That's like, we're

13:52

kidnapping your son. That's what it feels

13:54

like. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I

13:56

love that. I could still see him, But

13:59

they would. Be the ones to take care

14:01

of him. I. Thought they were joking

14:03

and said like what you'd be as

14:05

guardians or something. They. Got quiet

14:08

and then reality rushed over

14:10

me. A. Pointed out that this

14:12

wasn't a movie. They. Can just get

14:14

custody. This. Started sprouting out

14:16

some legal stuff about how I could assign

14:18

them as guardians. And they would help

14:21

make this transition smooth. He. Told me

14:23

to think about oh in and think about

14:25

what's best for him fathers' city. Lasers.

14:28

Like ah ok well. I

14:31

don't wanna off to early because you're going

14:33

off but like with your really but. Yeah.

14:36

That's a sleek year. Their. Peer.

14:39

Pressure you into releasing your son.

14:41

It's it's honestly manipulation of this

14:43

like at least with your mom

14:45

John like there are they offer.

14:47

They were like. That. Hey.

14:50

Like would you want this And then

14:52

as soon as I said no, they

14:54

reacted that like been where the hell

14:57

should be communicated right away. Yeah, I

14:59

haven't had. Never has he expressed interest

15:01

in them. Taking her son

15:03

forever Like bats. Cross

15:06

the line whole he said. I.

15:08

Told them that there was no way in hell

15:10

I was going to give up my son. I.

15:13

Grabbed a when and we less. I.

15:15

Blocked their numbers, Own. Has no

15:17

clue what's going on. I'm. Keeping him

15:19

home tomorrow and took the day off of work.

15:22

To. Figure some stuff out, Legally.

15:25

They can't take him. But. Now

15:27

I know what they want and I

15:29

am terrified. I. Don't want him

15:31

going back to that school. Do. We move.

15:34

I'm. So lost. And I feel

15:36

so stupid because looking back all the warning signs

15:38

were there. I. Know Omen is

15:40

going to be devastated by losing Charlie

15:42

Page and Ni. Hao my ever

15:44

going to explain it to him. And. Then

15:47

there's a short update after guys want to

15:49

go off now or wait till after that

15:51

it away. Or way

15:53

to the success or rather. i

15:56

live in iowa ourselves as fuck those people

15:58

i've been a here Another thing, adopting

16:01

should be done more often, I

16:03

think, especially in situations

16:05

where you can't conceive anymore and

16:08

you want a family. Adoption is completely

16:10

fine. That's a good way to go.

16:12

It helps out tons of kids

16:14

that need homes. But this kid

16:17

doesn't need a home. He's got a

16:19

home. He's got a family. And he's

16:21

been raised very well. You love this kid who

16:23

he is as a person. And that's because of

16:25

his mom. You know what I mean? It doesn't matter

16:28

that he didn't grow up with money. He's

16:30

still a decent

16:33

human and growing up to be one. So,

16:35

I mean, yeah, you can buy more presents, take them

16:37

on more trips, but you

16:40

can't just buy a kid's love.

16:42

You know what I mean? So,

16:44

yeah. And that's

16:46

why I was going with the rant

16:48

that I think these people are manipulative

16:50

as hell because they're using the situation

16:52

that OP is in to

16:54

weaponize the kid in a way. He's like,

16:56

hey, if you, you know, you be with

16:58

us, you get to do some good things. Yeah,

17:01

it's the best for your situation. You

17:04

can have all the vacations you want, all the stuff

17:06

you want because, you know, your mom is unable to

17:08

provide that, which is completely bullshit.

17:11

And like what Josh said already, it seems

17:14

like the mom is doing a phenomenal job

17:16

considering some of the setbacks she

17:18

may have or some of the situations that she

17:20

has. She's still providing, you know, and the kid

17:22

seems like what Josh said. Kid

17:24

seems like a decently raised dude.

17:26

So, yeah, this couple is

17:29

giving me like the ick

17:32

about it. It just reminds me of that one

17:34

story we did about like that one ex where

17:36

like they brought them over to the house

17:39

and essentially kidnapped them. Say like, oh, this

17:41

is my kid now type of deal. It

17:43

just makes me nervous because it seems like there's an

17:45

obsession with this kid now, right? Like just trying to

17:48

provide for their son to have a

17:50

playmate. And these things tend

17:52

to be scary. And it seems like they have all the

17:54

resources in the world to kind of Fuck

17:56

over OP. And In my opinion, I

17:58

Agree. I got more. Go

18:00

off and got yeah, that. Is

18:03

that it? There's no way I can

18:05

respond everyone so I just want to say thank

18:07

you for the advice. I understand

18:09

those saying they potentially meant well and

18:11

they weren't trying to be offensive. It's

18:14

still a risk that I can take. It's

18:17

not like the offered to take him every so often.

18:20

They. Wanted him full time. Permanently.

18:22

To. Those who said I should just let them. Please.

18:25

Pass be whatever drugs you are

18:28

on. I will never give up

18:30

my son. Do. We still

18:32

have or do we have the newest this

18:34

or that? know. But we.

18:36

Have our needs met, I. Love my

18:39

son and I'm not letting him go. As

18:41

for everyone else, I took your

18:43

advice and I reached out to the school. I.

18:46

Told them that page and Neat are no longer

18:48

allowed to pick up own. Explain that

18:50

I do not feel safe with them around each

18:52

other. They. Understood. But.

18:55

There's not much else they can do outside

18:57

of making sure that page and Nate never

18:59

pick one up. It's too late

19:01

in the year to move classes, but. Next.

19:04

Year. Charlie and Own will not be

19:06

in the same class. I. Notified

19:08

the police but again. Now.

19:10

Much they can do. We. Have zero

19:13

in writing and a simple request.

19:15

A half my child. Isn't.

19:17

Technically breaking any laws. Unfortunately,

19:20

All I can do is hope that they don't try

19:22

anything. I still haven't spoke to A when.

19:25

I. Think it's fine as he to Charlie and

19:27

place with him at school. But

19:29

I. Have to find a way to explain

19:31

why they can have play dates or sleep

19:33

overs anymore. As. Well as to

19:35

never go anywhere near knee and page. But.

19:38

I guess that will come in time. I'll. Update

19:40

again if anything happens, but I'm hoping this

19:42

is the end of. As some

19:44

of Nate and Pages Defender said. They.

19:47

Did take my know. Well

19:49

so. Hopefully they realize how

19:51

totally out of bounds they were. And.

19:53

Leave us alone. Okay, Well.

19:56

That's a silver lining. That there.

19:58

and you know at least on the

20:00

surface said, okay, and agreed with you and

20:04

are okay with that. But

20:07

yeah, it's a slippery slope if you start letting

20:09

them go over there again and sleeping

20:12

over. So I think you did all

20:14

the right steps. And hopefully,

20:17

you don't have any issues. It

20:20

is tough, because they are best friends.

20:23

And you always want to

20:25

hang out with your best friends. But

20:27

yeah, better to keep them safe than

20:29

kidnapped. And

20:33

I think the only other thing I was going to say before this

20:35

was, it's one thing

20:37

to help out and be a

20:39

good friend is the parents to be like, oh,

20:42

don't worry about daycare. He can stay here. I don't

20:45

mind taking care of him. That's one thing.

20:47

That's super nice if they just did that,

20:49

providing him a second

20:52

home where he feels welcome. Super

20:54

okay. But it's one

20:56

thing to do that. And then it's another thing to be

20:58

like, we want your kid. We're

21:01

going to buy him with

21:03

presents. Yeah, yeah, completely agree

21:05

with that. Like, I

21:07

was expecting more of a grim ending, to be

21:09

honest. Yeah, which is great,

21:11

which is great that the outcome is this.

21:13

Although Easter was only a few weeks ago,

21:15

so it could still, yeah,

21:17

maybe that potential. I would have been

21:20

a little bit more sympathetic about Paige

21:22

and what was the husband's name? Nate.

21:25

I would have been more sympathetic with Paige and Nate

21:27

if off the bat they're saying like, hey, this

21:29

is our situation. Explain to the OP like, you

21:32

know, can't bear another kid. Really

21:35

love having your kid around like mine because

21:37

like they seem like to get along really

21:39

well. Had the intentions been there off the

21:41

bat and every single step of like, hey,

21:44

communicate with OP like, hey, do you mind if

21:46

we pay for this? Do you want to pay

21:48

for that? Give OP the option to say like,

21:50

hey, this is a little too much. It's kind

21:52

of overstepping bounds a little bit. I

21:54

would have had a little more sympathy for them, but they

21:56

were a little bit more adamant and they were a little

21:58

bit more. imposing in nature. So

22:01

that's why I was a little scared at

22:03

first. I'm like, oh my God, this seems

22:05

like a crime of passion waiting to happen.

22:07

But they were like, what Josh said

22:09

is at least it's a happy silver lining. They

22:11

respected your boundary. And it does

22:13

suck that your kid's about to kind of

22:15

lose their best friend essentially. But at

22:18

the end of the day, you're looking out for their

22:20

safety. They still have a roof over their head. And

22:22

hopefully good fortunes come along your way and you

22:24

can provide the son everything that he wants or

22:26

you want to get out of life for him.

22:30

And part of this story is like,

22:33

hopefully it came to a much better

22:35

end than it could have. But I'm like, I don't

22:38

know if I would just, I mean, Opie

22:40

obviously has the right idea, but how could

22:42

Paige and Nate just like so

22:44

casually bring that up? It's

22:47

so strange because essentially,

22:51

I don't know, just from what I hear, it's like, yeah,

22:54

oh, it's cool and everything, but he's kind of just

22:56

a play, like it sounds like, oh yeah, we just

22:58

need him to play with our kids. Yeah. Yeah,

23:00

which is true. It's like all sorts of fucked

23:03

up. Actually, I'm like, wait, that's weird.

23:05

And I don't know, the buying of the gifts, it's

23:11

a little weird. Like my friends just never

23:13

bought my friend's gifts. You know what I

23:15

mean? Like, and vice versa. True. For

23:18

Christmas? No. I

23:20

mean, I guess for Christmas, shit, if my friend got

23:22

gifts, I would have fought my friend. So

23:25

yeah, I don't know. That's a lot of

23:28

weird things. Like even like

23:30

asking to take their kid on vacation, I

23:32

think is strange. Like me personally, it hasn't

23:34

even been a whole year that

23:36

I've known this parent, this family.

23:38

You know what I mean? So I

23:41

wouldn't feel like, I

23:43

didn't go on a vacation with any friends until

23:45

like, I was in high

23:47

school and I had known them for like

23:50

almost all of my life. That was the

23:52

only time I've been on like another family's

23:54

family trip. And

23:57

that's no shade on the mom. She's in not great

23:59

circumstances. everything seems fine, but like weird

24:02

on Nate and Paige to ask.

24:04

Yeah. I don't know. This is like

24:07

if the kids at I don't know. Yeah, that's always how

24:09

it was like the kids asked like Oh

24:11

can you know Chris sleep over? I'll

24:13

ask my parents. I'll never have

24:15

like Chris's parents ask

24:19

my parents. Can Sean sleep over?

24:21

That's weird. A little strange. I

24:24

don't know. That's kind of weird that you

24:26

know that the parent is trying to get

24:28

it more than their

24:31

kid is trying to get Owen to hang out.

24:33

Yeah. I mean that part is less weird to

24:35

me than the yeah as you said at

24:37

the beginning of your

24:39

point was it sounds like

24:41

it's just a play toy for their son.

24:43

Like a property. Yeah. That's

24:47

insane to me now that you mention it.

24:49

Yeah. God damn that's true. It's like when

24:51

the new shiny toy is done the guy can go back to your mom.

24:54

Another kid. Honestly, we're not the

24:56

full parents. We're just guard. He's

24:59

guardians. Yeah. Yeah. I

25:02

don't know. Crazy. Especially as they get older

25:04

too. Yeah. Sometimes

25:06

you outgrow some people and you're

25:09

like, I'm kind of sick of

25:11

this Owen motherfucker. Yeah. My kid

25:14

doesn't really like Owen anymore. So

25:16

sorry. What's your return

25:18

policy like? That's insane. We have this

25:20

new kid Sean. Yeah. We brought him

25:22

up. Get your kid a dog or

25:24

some shit. Give him a pet. It

25:26

sounds like Owen's

25:29

a pet at this point. Honestly, it sounds

25:31

like we got a cat for Ringo. Like we were

25:34

like, we're getting a cat because

25:36

Ringo is lonely. Yeah. Crazy.

25:38

Sean, Sean, I'm hungry and

25:44

Jain isn't

25:46

home to make us a delicious meal.

25:48

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Thank you. Alright

27:24

guys, are we ready for the return

27:26

of everyone's classic, everyone's favorite

27:28

classic segment? We

27:31

don't have that sound anymore, right? That's not on the soundboard. Was

27:33

it ever? I had it in post

27:35

and then I gave up because it was too much

27:37

work. Okay, yeah, that'll do it. It's not actually that

27:39

much work. I'm just a lazy piece of shit. Are

27:45

you ready for

27:47

does this

27:50

guy fuck?

27:53

Probably not. Probably not. Probably

27:55

not. We've never had a yes to these.

27:58

We have, I think. We have. I think

28:00

it's a group of friends that were macro like main macro

28:04

That's true, that's true. They fuck. Any good macaroni?

28:11

Two different does this guy

28:13

fucks both from reddit user

28:16

row row row diva This

28:19

first one is coming from r slash Passport

28:23

bros. Yeah, that breaded

28:25

for me. I didn't know that existed. I

28:27

think we've done that one before I feel like Just

28:30

kidding on nice guy like a nice guy.

28:32

They're more on the nice guy. Yeah Who

28:35

is the first story by again? I think it's a goat right?

28:37

I should have done the go button. That's my bad Oh

28:40

the very first story. Yeah pearly

28:42

complaint. Yeah Give

28:47

them that excuse to use the button Alright,

28:53

so this is the real

28:55

reason women hate passport

28:57

bros Because

28:59

I suck can I didn't

29:02

I may have known this was a thing But I

29:04

don't know the exact definition do one of you guys

29:06

want to give the definition for a

29:08

passport, bro I I'm like

29:11

90% sure we read this on the show

29:13

at one point but oh I am now

29:15

that you say that uh-huh Is

29:17

it the dudes that go to different countries and try to

29:19

yeah, I know wife Yes, because

29:21

they feel like Western women are more Western

29:24

women are not as submissive

29:27

as typically Women from

29:29

like either Eastern culture or like what

29:31

they consider third-world countries. Yeah. Yeah, that's

29:33

a hundred percent what it is Actually,

29:35

I just looked it up. You're exactly

29:37

right Fuck

29:40

passport bros. Yeah, no worse.

29:42

Yep insane. Well, here's

29:45

an insane post by one of them. I I

29:48

see a lot of guys here

29:51

who are not really first on

29:53

game theory So

29:55

I'm gonna tell you why women truly

29:58

hate the passport Bros.

30:01

It's because women want you to

30:04

stay single and lonely so you

30:06

can save them Aka

30:08

be their backup plan after

30:11

they're done having their fun And

30:13

if once they fail to lock

30:16

down the alpha male This

30:19

guy spends a lot of money on Kleenex

30:22

and lotion baby just admitted he's not a

30:24

quote-unquote alpha male even in Wait,

30:30

so even in your dream scenario,

30:32

you're the passport bro. Who's not

30:34

an alpha And

30:38

you clearly like alphas that's great

30:42

He's like the black in men It's

30:45

like in scrubs whenever JD has a

30:48

Fantasy and then he's Robin and Turk

30:50

is Batman. He's like holy crap even

30:52

in my wildest dreams. I'm the side

30:56

Oh, and I gotta say he's been using

30:58

their the incorrect theirs all over the place

31:01

So of course, which not surprised

31:03

not a surprise. No. Oh, here

31:05

we go. Write what John said Western

31:08

women are Entitled

31:11

and think that they are entitled to

31:13

a good man as a backup option

31:15

If things don't work out with the

31:17

alpha male that they truly want The

31:20

delusion is a man dude,

31:22

dude. It's so crazy to

31:24

go so in on yourself

31:35

I'm not an alpha and you know

31:37

what the girls don't really want me

31:40

because I'm not an alpha

31:43

Okay, bro, I'll be a backup Insane

31:50

if you're the backup she doesn't want

31:52

you. Yes, you're not a backup. You're

31:54

not an option I think that's actually

31:56

what you are else

32:00

where not in his proper brain. Oh

32:02

my God. Not in the right

32:04

brain. In a brain. Not in a right brain for sure.

32:06

Not the right brain. So if

32:08

you are going overseas and getting

32:10

women, it's like you're

32:13

stealing their pension. So they

32:15

get upset to see you guys getting

32:17

hotter girls because that means they won't

32:19

have much power over you since you've

32:22

already had better. You're

32:24

also taking away resources that could have

32:26

gone to them. There's

32:28

also another side that they don't want

32:30

men to know about. Oh,

32:32

what? I'm sorry. This

32:34

guy is. There's

32:36

also another side that they don't

32:39

want men to know what feminine

32:41

submissive women are like because

32:43

they don't want to compete. I

32:46

want to say this has 550 comments. It's

32:49

been shared 162 times and it is at negative likes. She's

32:54

negative up both. Just ratio

32:57

to hell. I love this. So

33:01

does this guy.

33:06

No, it's not even his

33:08

own hands back up. His

33:11

hands don't want to fuck.

33:19

It's so insane to go off

33:21

so hard on yourself and then

33:23

not like a funny self deprecating

33:25

way. He is serious. He

33:27

is 100% just. I'm

33:33

not an alpha. I'm a passport bro

33:35

and I won't accept you even if

33:37

I am your backup. Okay.

33:40

If you're insecure, just say

33:43

that. Just say it brother.

33:45

Yeah, dude. I just

33:47

I truly don't understand. It's like the

33:50

friend zone mentality. It's like the friend

33:52

zone doesn't exist. You're just a

33:54

friend. You know what I mean? I think of

33:56

you as and that's fine. You

33:59

should want that. You should want friends. You know

34:01

what I mean? You have to fuck every girl

34:03

you meet. True.

34:06

Goddamn, it's so fucking angry. These

34:09

people just think women owe them sex

34:12

and, you know, to

34:14

be with them, which is ironic because that's what they

34:17

think the women want, which women

34:19

just like, for the most part, good

34:21

partner who's going to support them and

34:23

that they are interested in. And

34:26

if you are not that, that doesn't mean every

34:28

woman hates you. You

34:31

need a better personality and outlook in

34:33

life, my god. Yeah, or

34:35

find someone that isn't to you. You know what

34:38

I mean? Like, you don't have to go this

34:40

negative rabbit hole where you're just like, every woman

34:42

hates me because this one woman rejected me or

34:44

even a dozen women. You know what I mean?

34:46

Like, who cares? More

34:49

than likely. Yeah. I'm good for

34:51

those. But everyone's been rejected at one point

34:53

in their life. And that doesn't mean every

34:56

one of the opposite sex or same

34:58

sex, whoever you're into, hates

35:00

you and you have to spiral

35:02

into this fucking negative. You gotta go and

35:05

try elsewhere. Yeah, yeah. What's so fun, dude?

35:07

Yeah, find someone that has the same interests,

35:09

has the same likes. I don't know. It

35:11

baffles me. This mentality truly baffles me. This

35:15

is reminding me of times I've

35:17

been rejected. And guess what? I still ended

35:19

up on top. I'm still living my best life. You don't

35:21

talk about it. Hell yeah. Look at that. I don't say.

35:23

I remember a specific way. I

35:26

wasn't technically rejected in

35:28

the sense that I didn't ask this person. But

35:30

in high school, I remember being in a

35:33

class and this group of girls talking and

35:35

being like, dang, there's only

35:37

like one attractive Asian guy

35:39

in this entire school. And

35:41

I was like... And

35:45

they immediately were like, yeah,

35:47

and it's Kevin Wynn. And

35:50

then I was like, oh, sick. I'm at the

35:52

next desk, brother. And

35:56

they were like, yeah, and? And I

35:58

was like, cool, dude. I can't

36:00

wait to leave high school

36:02

dude, I hate this. Emotional

36:04

damage. So I was

36:07

this close but you could be coming a passport bro.

36:09

I hate Western women.

36:12

I'm telling me man,

36:14

you know how hard it is to have

36:16

game as someone who's fucking short as hell,

36:18

who had a thick ass accent when I

36:20

first got to the States, but you know

36:22

what? I grew up personality and I ended

36:25

up with a dime baby. Who the fuck

36:27

in one now jabroni's? That's right,

36:29

I did. Hell yeah,

36:31

brother. Yeah, you guys missed the Tinder

36:33

thing. Oh

36:35

my god, I'm so glad I missed that

36:37

shit. You get rejected every day. Every

36:40

hour. Shit. That

36:44

shit is scary. Five times

36:46

a day if I was single. Oh

36:49

my god. We have a Venmo in

36:52

specific, a request

36:54

for you John in regards to what you just said. Can't

36:58

wait. Alright,

37:02

this next one is coming again from

37:04

Ro Ro Diva. Ro Ro

37:06

Ro Diva. Three rows in

37:08

there. Oh, goat? This is coming from,

37:10

you know, quickly becoming a discord goat. That's

37:13

too long. You know what, people in a row, I

37:15

think they deserve at least the goat butt. They

37:17

deserve it. Fuck yeah. I

37:20

love you here. I just like pressing it

37:22

like I said. They need their flowers. Hell

37:25

yeah. This subreddit is

37:27

new to me, but also I could be an idiot. R

37:31

slash the tenth dentist. Oh,

37:34

it's definitely new. Can

37:37

I take a guess at what it is? Yeah, take a guess. So

37:40

is it like when you see the toothpaste

37:42

commercials, it's like every 9 out of 10

37:44

dentists approve of this and it's like the

37:46

one... Who the fuck is that one? The

37:49

eight coal gate or whatever. Yeah,

37:51

exactly right. Eventually a

37:54

more clever title for R slash

37:56

unpopular opinions. Ah, gotcha. That

37:59

makes sense. I like the title. Yeah.

38:02

I was like, what the fuck? How did we find

38:04

a dentist subreddit? And

38:06

then I saw the little description. The

38:08

10th dentist is someone who sincerely

38:12

or professionally disagrees with the

38:14

board majority of people. Got

38:16

it. Kind of unpopular opinion type. Yeah.

38:20

All right. This one is, OP

38:22

thinks a little manipulation

38:24

isn't that bad. Oh,

38:26

come on. Okay. This

38:30

is the second entry

38:32

into, does this guy

38:34

fuck? No. That

38:37

was pretty good. All

38:41

right. It is titled, testing

38:43

your partner early in a

38:45

relationship is not only okay,

38:48

it should be encouraged. Really

38:51

depends on what. What the test is. Oh,

38:54

Cara. Wait. That's Cara, right? Look

38:57

at this Cara. Oh, hi baby.

39:01

Wow. The first time she showed up

39:03

for free. She's not even giving face. Not

39:05

even serving face. That's my girl. All

39:08

right. Like

39:12

yeah. It's weird to test

39:14

your partner when you're years deep, but

39:17

early on, I don't see what's

39:19

so wrong with that. And

39:21

when I say testing, I don't just

39:23

mean observing their behavior. I

39:26

mean manufacturing a scenario and seeing

39:28

how your partner responds. Oh

39:31

my God. Oh my God. Okay. I

39:33

was like, it's one thing to be like, Oh, if I

39:36

was a worm, would you love me? If I was a

39:38

roach, would you love me? Whatever. That's

39:41

one thing. That's really creating scenarios. That's insane.

39:43

What the fuck is up with it?

39:47

What is so hard about just

39:49

having a goddamn open

39:51

conversation? What

39:54

The Fuck? The amount of

39:56

work, possibly money, effort, mental

39:58

energy to fucking matter. And

40:02

I got time for that

40:04

Successful the seasons and listen

40:06

to some of the scenario

40:08

none has example high price

40:10

match or it possible for.

40:14

Getting someone to hit on them as

40:16

the loyalty test. Asking

40:19

for a favor that you could easily do

40:21

yourself to see how willing the yard to

40:23

help you out. Asking provided.

40:26

When. You don't necessarily need it to

40:29

see how they supports you. Making.

40:31

A mistake. And. Seeing how

40:34

quickly it turns into the blame game

40:36

to them. Refusing. Sex

40:38

for a short while to see

40:40

how they handle the relationship without

40:42

sex. Of downplaying

40:45

your wealth to turn away

40:47

gold diggers or status tasers.

40:50

Pulling. Away just a little to

40:52

see how they react? Will they

40:54

be media less cleanly? Or

40:57

asking questions with a hidden agenda

40:59

to learn what they think flash

41:01

feel about certain things. I

41:04

could go on and on. Obviously.

41:07

There are a lot of finds you can

41:09

look or that. Happen. Naturally,

41:12

But some. Scenarios just don't

41:14

happen naturally until later in the game.

41:16

So. It makes sense to save

41:18

time with Tess. Obviously.

41:21

You. Don't want to go too

41:23

crazy with emotional manipulation. Obviously

41:25

a lot of other. Said.

41:30

To. Her in some of those were fine

41:32

but Oliver okay a loose other the I

41:34

don't know if she still does this but

41:37

there is a girl and tic tac who

41:39

used to do. Like. Testing your

41:41

boyfriend kind of things. Were sued dm

41:43

them and my girls would message into

41:46

her to test their boyfriends. And

41:48

that's wild to me. A lot of them

41:50

failed to, I'll be honest. So maybe the

41:52

how to read the details live? I don't

41:54

know, but. For. Me: It's like. Why?

41:57

Are you creating scenarios to put

41:59

pressure? In your relationship you know enemy

42:01

and like life sucks is enough as

42:04

it is without your partner scheming to

42:06

try and has see had see how

42:08

your react and you relay movie or

42:10

had sought. Out

42:14

always over of Sean's subset of ah

42:16

that? yeah so for me it's like

42:19

life sucks and much as as you're

42:21

gonna run into issues anyway. Ah

42:23

oh why are. You. Know

42:25

why create these scenarios to pressure partner

42:28

and and. Ah, you know,

42:30

ruin your relationship. I have

42:32

no idea what just is that right

42:34

up activity under the hit. No one

42:36

else am I watching the analysis to assert

42:38

I'm not into soon as well. If

42:40

you're an audio listener and on over

42:42

to you to to see Cora strutting her

42:45

stuff over that all out cause. I

42:48

didn't say they are three a my cats

42:50

oh my god I have a kind of

42:52

my my they just got better. So I

42:54

was a rough day. But. She

42:56

she knew you needed showed Israel from having a

42:58

rough day. I know

43:00

what ambiguous solo yes,

43:02

thanks. where. Are. They have

43:04

seen a lot of people doing this trend. Lately.

43:07

To and sick though it was Clennell my

43:09

bad but with a good the orange orange

43:11

peel the oh yeah that he other you

43:13

get like a robbery front are some things

43:15

were some some like our little just like.

43:18

A high orange peeling theory were like you just

43:20

as your eyes of the time was usually like

43:22

women doing it to their boyfriends and eighth. You

43:24

mind telling me an orange and some guys were

43:27

like acting like. Super.

43:29

Unhinged by March for computers are under would

43:31

buy your senses for I suppose you have

43:33

been as it's like why but then they

43:35

would do it. The facility where yeah okay

43:37

I mean I don't know. Like. It

43:39

added up. If. It's if it's done

43:41

in Justin and and in a fun night.

43:44

I don't know, I didn't see I guess the harm

43:46

or not. but if it's like a serious like. Psychological

43:49

tests on my partner to see if she's

43:51

you know, going to crack. A pretty

43:53

fucked up. In my arms. Not. We.

43:55

Have to answer the question. Does is guy

43:58

thought. i say no because likes

44:00

to manufacture shit he will that's actually

44:02

doesn't I don't know I have no idea

44:08

I guess probably not

44:10

I'm putting out all the time I don't give a fuck be

44:12

like yeah

44:14

I don't know I think

44:17

you know like Josh that fun time test

44:19

little tick-tock

44:27

test that's fine yeah how well

44:29

do you know your girlfriend or what I'm finding

44:31

a random person to hit on her like

44:34

that's why situations

44:36

aren't fun tick-tocks these are the

44:38

fun tick-tock would be like alright I'm gonna act

44:41

like somebody else act like how you would act

44:43

like you know yeah those ones are funny those

44:45

are funny when it's getting an actual

44:47

person to hit on them is weird and

44:49

strange it is all

44:57

right are we ready for our last story

44:59

of the day unless you're a patron let's

45:01

do it this one is coming again

45:04

from r slash two off my

45:06

chest again from pearly

45:09

complaints hit that sir oh yeah this

45:12

is my stepdaughter

45:18

asked if she could call me mom oh

45:20

is this the wholesome one sounds like this is the

45:22

wholesome one I know for a

45:24

fact of the patreon we're going into an

45:27

angry music

45:33

story yeah the roller coaster baby damn okay so I

45:35

34 female married the man of

45:46

my dreams last month 44 male

45:49

and he has a 16 year old daughter

45:51

from his prior marriage I've

45:53

been in her life and she's been in mine for

45:55

four years and I've done my

45:57

best to be there for her as a friend and

46:00

a trustworthy adult, and

46:03

she's a really, really great kid.

46:06

I felt closer to her than I did any

46:08

of my sisters, and I could see

46:10

she looked up to me and trusted me. One

46:13

more important thing, she's on the

46:15

autism spectrum. I swear

46:17

that's relevant information. My

46:19

husband and I went on our honeymoon for two

46:22

weeks, and then we came back on Friday.

46:24

My stepdaughter came up to me and asked if we could have

46:27

a talk, and she told me

46:29

no one had ever been as considered as

46:31

I was learning how to make the foods

46:33

in the exact way that she liked them,

46:36

or as patient with her, quote-unquote,

46:40

poor emotional regulation. Her

46:43

words, I think she's doing great. And

46:45

she told me I overall was

46:48

her favorite person in her life. So

46:52

she asked if it was okay to call me

46:54

mom. This really,

46:57

really caught me off guard, and

46:59

I stopped for a moment to truly

47:01

process it. She then got

47:03

embarrassed and told me she was sorry and

47:06

that it was stupid, but I told

47:08

her it wasn't stupid because I would love that.

47:10

She got super excited and hugged me,

47:13

and it was lovely. God

47:15

damn. I was telling my husband about

47:17

it later, and it suddenly sunk in that

47:20

I had become somebody's mom.

47:22

I just stopped and I told him, I'm

47:25

somebody's mom. And

47:27

he asked me if I felt like I was in the

47:29

delivery room. I

47:31

laughed. Chippa. Sorry.

47:33

Oh, Chippa? I think I saw her.

47:36

Oh, shit. Wholesome

47:42

Story and Cats? Oh my. Oh

47:45

my God. She's trying to get in my shoe

47:47

box. Get rid of all these fucking shoes. I

47:49

need places to sleep. Oh,

47:55

she's in the shoe box. Got it. She

47:57

is successfully in the shoe box. Meanwhile.

48:01

You going to be on youtube? And

48:03

then you're sorry or could whether just you know,

48:05

but I get distracted easily. Hysteresis a set of

48:07

your kids. I'm.

48:10

I laughed at that. But. Then. I.

48:13

Got so a mostly overwhelmed

48:15

I started crying. This.

48:17

Morning she came downstairs and said.

48:20

Hey mom! To. Me and.

48:23

It's gonna take some time getting used

48:25

to, but holy shit. I

48:27

was a great feeling. I. Still

48:29

don't believe I've earned the title. But.

48:31

I'll be damned if I'm not going to try my best.

48:34

So. It. Seems last month I

48:36

got a husband. And a daughter

48:38

to. Pretty. Good deal of he asked me.

48:41

To for wound up. But. Is

48:43

cutting Onions writing? A

48:46

God damn asthma, your most wholesome

48:48

stories and small allies and so

48:50

on. Whole as bad or and

48:52

this is such such. Ah, Like.

48:54

On opposite ends of from that

48:57

one. Guys I saw remember them.

48:59

Fucking. Mike member when your daughter after

49:01

like three can adopt you said not

49:03

yeah fuck you might as well. I

49:06

got a smile but on the Us

49:08

I know this is this is this

49:10

whole some and I know she said

49:12

tours and like I don't think I

49:14

deserved this title. You. Do

49:16

absolute done everything for this girl. Like said

49:18

your what she said or self, you're one

49:20

of the only people that like truly understands

49:23

or and can accept it or some other

49:25

things the she has regularly and you're still

49:27

very patient whether. You're. A mom. And

49:29

Dad does a title you should Were very

49:32

proud because someone. Bestowed.upon.

49:34

And. You know why I know for a fact

49:36

you deserve their title. Because.

49:39

Only see can decide when she wants

49:41

to go you mom and she yeah

49:43

cited so you on fact do deserve

49:45

that title. That's I mean who, no

49:47

ifs, ands, or buts, About

49:49

it. Been going for his mother, your

49:51

mother, ring. Wow. Mother's Mother

49:53

ring or I guys, they wouldn't be

49:56

a Monday reddit reading without. An.

49:58

Amazing segment from the Amazing and. Bucky.

50:00

This. Week we have. No.

50:03

Your host. Through. Questions:

50:05

one for each host. Let's get to

50:07

know you guys better. As

50:09

always Alex. Morgan. All answer

50:12

each square. make the rules which

50:14

has a rule breakers. What can

50:16

I l your questions is. Why?

50:18

Did your parents name you John? Of

50:21

I don't know how guy answer this one six hundred

50:24

number. Or

50:26

this person is. Who.

50:29

Is your favorite stand

50:31

up comedian. Who I've

50:33

with the like phases where I

50:35

have like different ones. Probably.

50:37

A heartache alla I liked. in fact

50:39

I love Dave Chappelle! Worked before he

50:42

became a transfer. He. Is pretty

50:44

clever. Pretty good. Ah, I

50:46

liked him until his whole bit was. Trans

50:49

joke see our unfortunate. I'll

50:51

bet is older specials very good. Ah

50:53

I went through like a i

50:55

mean. When. You're fucking twelve. You

50:57

think Dane Cook is hilarious? Oh yeah,

50:59

I did too. until. Until you

51:01

find out he stole all his jokes

51:03

from other state of them much less

51:06

money and is not so much Very

51:08

young right now. very very I think

51:10

married to someone very oh yes I

51:12

gotta say. Probably. My

51:14

least problematic favorite stand up

51:16

comedian is probably like Dmitri

51:18

Martin. He

51:21

draws and sing songs and stay

51:23

here if is provided. Aca. Ah

51:26

I think. To

51:28

A mine and my my my

51:30

favorite now probably as James a

51:32

Caster. Is. Like Uk

51:34

guy. Like ginger

51:36

hair. He's the one who and

51:38

on the British Baking Challenge him was like. They

51:41

were like how Jamaica nieces like. Well. Ah,

51:44

Started are you know mixes and a

51:46

breakdown. Boiler. Had

51:50

a break that? yeah. I'm

51:52

pretty funny and the my other one

51:54

who I always go back to his

51:56

Bo Burnham while his netflix special ah

51:58

said dude add during. And and make

52:01

you know. Feel. And satish it.

52:03

Not. Been hit like a special allows

52:05

the that hit rail feel very bad

52:08

two or three times a week and

52:10

felt very depressed. ah ago but take

52:12

as well. I did grow up on

52:14

Dave Chappelle so they're one on one

52:17

of the people that I I grew

52:19

up watching and a group. On the

52:21

irony of you think they're both married.

52:24

I know. That

52:26

Allah mad then resell fear and

52:28

with and. Say

52:30

I grew up on Dave Chappelle, grew up on Katt

52:33

Williams. But the oh. Gee! One of my favorites

52:35

is one of my inspirations Grown Up you

52:37

invite Only comedian that I can I have

52:39

like. Can remember off for

52:41

ass like us get from them

52:43

as rex number ready. So sad

52:46

I have already. Bay Area legend

52:48

over there are no one of my is reeling

52:50

up. His. Filipino comedian and

52:52

him all his jokes are filipino

52:54

don't so it is. Not.

52:57

Very like relate of will have to

52:59

pass your your filipino up enough. Yeah,

53:02

almost like Filipino American. Some

53:05

of them were very nice.

53:08

Very, very nice. But that

53:10

whole. If. You know you

53:12

know anyone who's filipino logic as

53:14

the whole appetizers bit I know

53:16

don't whole damn thing. I.

53:19

Question numbered to.

53:22

What? Was the first swear word

53:24

you ever said out loud. I

53:27

can't remember. I remember what I

53:29

had for lunch. I barely remember.

53:31

Capital has to receive guy and

53:33

modestly. Ah a hard one

53:35

are probably say out about damn that

53:37

seems like the easiest. Probably. Crowd

53:40

as and sounding word. I

53:42

feel like Miranda Cosgrove right

53:44

now flung about. As

53:47

well as if is your favorite swear

53:49

word. Clock. Have been a. Rise.

53:55

Question. Three. you

53:58

have a favorite charity or

54:00

fundraiser that you'd like to shout out?

54:03

Oh my god, not prepared. I wish I was

54:05

prepared for that. I mean,

54:07

there are a few that I like. What

54:10

is it? The EGI?

54:13

E-J-I? The

54:15

Equal Justice Initiative, I think? Yeah,

54:17

that's a good one. Oh god,

54:19

I wish I knew more off the top of my head. But

54:22

I really just click on the links that people

54:24

send. The one that I've donated to the most,

54:26

and this is just because of the podcast I listen to,

54:29

is the Steve Dangle podcast. They

54:31

do a hockey podcast, but they

54:34

do Easter Seals, which helps support

54:38

kids with physical disabilities. So they do

54:40

an Easter Seals hockey tournament every year.

54:43

And I always donate to that one. So that's

54:45

probably the one I would go with for

54:48

me. Yeah, I'd probably have

54:50

to go with the AAPI Civic Engagement

54:52

Fund. I know, like especially

54:54

during the pandemic time when there was a

54:56

lot of Asian people going on the

54:58

time, that was one of the things that I was

55:00

really passionate about as well. And

55:03

for some people who can't unfortunately

55:05

donate money, time is also a

55:07

form of donation as well. So

55:09

a lot of places have

55:11

local food banks or local shelters.

55:14

I used to heavily

55:16

volunteer in shelters. I can't go to the

55:19

medical aspect of it because I get really

55:21

sad. But I try to lock the

55:23

pups making sure that they're ready for adoption and

55:25

all that. So if money is not an option,

55:27

guys, time is what

55:29

you can give and donate. Yeah.

55:32

Hell yeah. Thank you, Alex, for writing

55:34

that amazing segment. That is it for

55:36

this episode. Before I give it to

55:38

the boys for some comments and

55:40

reviews, I got some

55:43

Venmos to read out. And boy,

55:45

were y'all generous. Whoa. First

55:47

up, we've got Saraya, who

55:50

writes, take my money. They send $10.

55:52

I hope for a particular reason. No,

55:54

we won't. Next

55:59

up, we have... have Jessica who

56:01

writes, For the disdainful

56:04

grumbles of Jesus and goddamn,

56:06

showing the factor ads. The best

56:09

part of my least favorite month.

56:13

That was the... Okay,

56:15

so with the factor ad this month, John usually

56:17

writes them, but he's been super busy, especially at

56:19

the end of March when we usually record. I

56:23

had written a super unhinged ad that

56:26

I knew for a fact wouldn't fly.

56:28

I cut a lot of it out.

56:30

It was just like, Sean

56:33

and I have just been

56:35

like, Oh my fucking God.

56:37

So I'm glad you enjoyed

56:42

it. They send $7.31.

56:44

Next up,

56:46

we got Candace who writes, I love

56:48

you guys. I got the

56:50

year sub to the rich rich and

56:52

worked my way through all of the

56:55

extra Patreon stuff and only a couple

56:57

of days. Oh my God. Are

56:59

you okay? I'm

57:02

going to be 30 on April 13th and I hate the

57:04

idea of

57:07

getting old while single. So can I

57:09

get a shout out? Well, this is

57:11

funny. It's coming out two

57:13

days after your birthday, but yeah, go

57:15

ahead Josh. Well, as I turn 30

57:17

tomorrow when

57:21

this episode comes out. So we're

57:23

almost birthday twins. So that's super

57:25

cool. But shout out to you. Shout out

57:28

to you. Happy birthday. Yeah. Happy birthday. And

57:30

30 is the new 20s

57:33

nowadays. You're in your prime years, baby.

57:35

You have no reason to be worried

57:38

about being single. Yeah. Growing

57:40

old is not a thing. It's still pretty. That's

57:42

why bros wasn't a market right now. You don't

57:44

want that. That's it. Sometimes it's okay to be

57:46

single. It's okay. Be

57:51

all right. All right. Next up,

57:53

we got Madison with two D's. They

57:56

write $3 for three hosts plus 69

57:58

cents. Nice. been doing

58:00

basically nothing but listening to the

58:02

pod since I got broken up

58:04

with last month so thanks for

58:07

the good vibes boys. $3.69 from

58:10

Madison and fuck your

58:12

ex, you know what I'm saying?

58:14

Fuck that guy or girl whatever.

58:17

Fuck him. Next

58:20

up we got Asha who

58:22

writes, Sean, listen, this

58:25

podcast needs a bad boy. That

58:27

way we truly appreciate how great

58:30

John is in contrast. They

58:32

send $4.10. I gotta say, you think I'm the

58:35

bad boy and not John? Yeah, that was a

58:37

one. I am the

58:40

asshole. I don't know. Are you

58:42

mistaking the Browns? Are you flip-flopping

58:44

us? I'm definitely a douche-dodge right

58:47

now. There was one comment

58:49

in the episode where John wasn't on

58:51

and they said something about John and

58:53

I was like, what did I

58:55

say? That's

58:59

so funny though. John is the

59:01

bad boy I think of this podcast. I

59:04

would think so. I pretty

59:07

much admit so. He's the heel.

59:09

Sean's the babyface. Unless Asha has

59:12

a peanut allergy that I am

59:14

the heel. True. I

59:17

like to think of myself as the ref. Next

59:22

up we have Hailey who writes, thanks

59:24

for all that you do. I love listening

59:26

to you guys all the time. I am

59:28

a rich rich but $1

59:31

to John to talk

59:33

about his masturbation habits a little

59:35

bit less. Okay. I thought you

59:37

were going to say more. That

59:39

was very weird. You are

59:42

going to need to up that Hailey because

59:44

you just motivated me to talk about it

59:46

more. What you want to know about baby

59:48

girl? I got you in details in writing.

59:50

She wants nothing. You want the room to

59:52

look like? Mute

59:56

this man. You

1:00:05

want me to start? I got you. I got

1:00:07

you. Next Jon episode, he's going to

1:00:09

come on for a breeze. Badmose will

1:00:11

just be like, yes, we lost

1:00:13

money. Come on, for

1:00:15

real. She requested money back. Next

1:00:20

up, we have Kayla who writes,

1:00:23

who the heck is Oggza? I

1:00:27

love the podcast and keep up the good work.

1:00:29

They send $0.69. This

1:00:32

is Oggza if you're watching on my shirt.

1:00:34

That's Bae. Yeah, that's Bae. I

1:00:36

like that we've switched so hard from

1:00:38

who is Sean to now who is Oggza. I'm

1:00:41

where the heck is Oggza? Who the heck?

1:00:44

Next up, we got Annie who writes,

1:00:47

Happy Mania weekend, my dudes.

1:00:49

Fuck yeah, baby. Night one

1:00:52

sucked, but night two was

1:00:54

cinema. Night one got

1:00:56

better at the end. They also write, since

1:00:59

you guys had so much fun with that emoji

1:01:01

riddle for Josh and Jon, for

1:01:04

Josh, and since Jon was absent, for

1:01:07

the previous episode, here's a couple more.

1:01:10

These are emojis and

1:01:12

words that should be a wrestler's

1:01:15

name, I think. Okay. Let's

1:01:17

see if you get it, Jon, or if I could get it. How

1:01:20

do I see it? No, no, no.

1:01:22

I'll explain. Oh, okay. All right. It's

1:01:25

us, US, crescent

1:01:28

moon emoji, horse

1:01:30

emoji, shocked face

1:01:32

emoji. What? I

1:01:35

have to see it. I have to see it. Is it on

1:01:37

the thing? Is it on your, is it

1:01:39

on the Google sheet? I can try

1:01:41

and copy and paste. Oh, it is on the Google

1:01:43

sheet, yeah, on the row. Let me just see. I

1:01:46

can't picture it. Give me one second. I'm reading

1:01:48

it right now and I have no idea. You

1:01:50

will know the second one, though. It's a crown

1:01:52

and then a number one. Oh,

1:01:55

that's the Roman Reigns, right?

1:01:57

Roman Reigns, tribal chief. What's up, brother? Brother

1:02:02

cut him up Simpson style What

1:02:06

is that like the word us

1:02:08

and moon and a horse We

1:02:11

might be stumped on this one and the

1:02:13

third one. I also don't know Red

1:02:16

head horse. Oh, that's Evo

1:02:18

Marie But

1:02:22

what is this how is that man? Oh, this

1:02:25

is terrible I don't like casting That's

1:02:27

actually Is

1:02:35

that a moon or a banana it's hangman

1:02:37

Adam page, right? But why would there

1:02:39

be a moon there? It looks like a

1:02:41

banana. Is that a it looks like a banana, bro

1:02:43

Well, why would it be a banana either cuz hung

1:02:45

a horse hangman? Oh shit.

1:02:49

All right jobs to go That's

1:02:51

what I'm going with age. All right next up

1:02:53

if you're wrong Let

1:02:56

us know any if we're right or wrong By

1:02:58

sending another Venmo. Thank you Savannah is

1:03:00

up next. They write love the goat

1:03:03

sound and the new intro Love

1:03:05

the new octa merch, but

1:03:08

I am dying for the old

1:03:10

octa design, please Also

1:03:14

would love to hear Sean do

1:03:16

a white Midwestern accent. Mmm.

1:03:19

Also Nancy is my fave also more

1:03:21

pets Also, I miss does this

1:03:23

guy fuck Oh And

1:03:27

if you guys ever want to have

1:03:29

a therapist for a special episode check

1:03:31

out dr. Mick on Twitch slash YouTube

1:03:33

Savannah sense $20 I'll

1:03:36

give I honestly do not know Midwestern

1:03:39

accent But I will listen and I'll

1:03:41

throw it in a random episode in the future Savannah.

1:03:43

I got you say oh Oh Oh

1:03:49

Yeah, I don't know Jennifer writes been

1:03:51

listening to y'all for a long

1:03:53

while now Love y'all's

1:03:55

input on some tough topics. Just

1:03:57

want to say it would be dope If

1:04:00

parentheses when the ladies are available, of course,

1:04:03

the ladies can also come on and do

1:04:05

an app with you guys. Or

1:04:07

maybe even an all girl

1:04:10

episode. Keep up the

1:04:12

great work guys. Jennifer sends $20. Oh,

1:04:14

wow. Well,

1:04:16

now they have to do it. Yeah, now we have to do it.

1:04:20

Next up we got Nisa

1:04:22

who writes Happy WrestleMania Week

1:04:24

slash day. Love

1:04:27

you guys. Live for the random

1:04:29

wrestling references. Yeah. And

1:04:32

they send $3.16. Love

1:04:35

it. Next up we got a simple one. Mozam

1:04:39

writes microphone emoji and

1:04:41

sends $29. Wow. Thank

1:04:44

you. Wow. That is

1:04:47

what we're talking to. We

1:04:49

got Jessica who sends

1:04:52

a Venmo every day. So they've said $11. They

1:04:56

write back pay because I've had a week

1:04:58

from hell. Please pray for your girl because

1:05:01

she's still alive but she's barely breathing. I'm

1:05:03

in there with you. Good song. We're

1:05:06

there. And then also they

1:05:08

write, I

1:05:11

started watching Always Sunny since you guys talk about it

1:05:13

so much and I've been hooked for

1:05:16

the last three days. I'm about to finish

1:05:18

season four. Holy shit.

1:05:21

Damn. Three days, four seasons. It

1:05:23

is. I mean, I think there are only

1:05:25

10 episodes. It's like 20 minutes too

1:05:27

so it's not. And yeah. Oh yeah. I mean, so

1:05:29

they're not too bad. Seasons are like 10 episodes but

1:05:31

that's still a good audio, Jessica.

1:05:34

Yeah, it's a good commitment. Yeah, it is.

1:05:36

Also, they write answering John's call to action.

1:05:38

My favorite ice cream is not technically ice cream

1:05:41

but a raspberry sorbet,

1:05:44

sherbert? Never know

1:05:46

the difference. Sherbert or sorbet. Me either. I

1:05:49

don't need it. The same way. Jesus.

1:05:52

Next we got Sky Lee who

1:05:54

writes, okay, trying it

1:05:56

again. I sent it to John

1:05:59

on Discord. Also, Shawn has

1:06:01

to do with asexuality, lol referring to

1:06:03

the last episode. I have not seen

1:06:05

any messages in forever, so apologies. John's

1:06:10

been busy, y'all, if y'all haven't got

1:06:12

the vibe. Next

1:06:15

up, we got also, you know,

1:06:17

John is usually our, you

1:06:19

know, all social media guy. So we've had

1:06:21

a couple people wondering how to

1:06:23

reach us. I think we say it a lot,

1:06:25

but just in case you don't know, Discord, super

1:06:28

easy way to reach us, just tag us, we'll

1:06:30

probably see it. Probably.

1:06:32

Yeah, IG messages, no

1:06:34

way. No way on IG

1:06:36

messages. I'm sorry. In

1:06:38

fact, Patreon messages also might be tough.

1:06:41

So just add us

1:06:43

on Discord, somebody will help you

1:06:45

get to us, I promise. Yeah.

1:06:48

Alright, next up we have Carter, and this

1:06:50

is the, you know, I tease

1:06:53

the aromantic versus the asexual. Oh,

1:06:55

okay. So it's kind of like

1:06:57

a good segue for this. Yeah, this is the

1:06:59

complete definition from Carter. And

1:07:02

there were a lot of comments that kind of said the

1:07:04

same thing. So yeah, you too, for sure. I'm just reading

1:07:06

this one because they paid me. What can I do?

1:07:10

They write, aromantic refers to

1:07:12

people who experience little to

1:07:14

no romantic attraction. I

1:07:16

think this is what you meant when you were talking

1:07:19

about the emotional connection thing. They

1:07:21

can still feel deep emotional attachments

1:07:23

to people, just with

1:07:25

little to no romantic feelings. Asexual

1:07:28

people can experience little to

1:07:31

no sexual attraction. You could

1:07:33

be both, or you could be one, or

1:07:35

you could be the other. Ace

1:07:37

people can still have a high libido

1:07:39

slash want to have sex, like

1:07:42

sex still feels good to them. And

1:07:44

they may want that even if they aren't

1:07:46

sexually attracted to a person. There

1:07:48

are aces who don't want sex,

1:07:51

but it's different than not wanting sex

1:07:53

because of low slash depleting sex drive.

1:07:56

Being ace is a sexual

1:07:58

identity, just like being bisexual.

1:08:01

Only instead of being sexually attracted to

1:08:03

all genders, you are sexually

1:08:06

attracted to none. Not a

1:08:08

call-out, I love the pod and

1:08:10

you all do such an amazing job. Just

1:08:12

some info from an ace aromantic

1:08:15

listener. Please appreciate

1:08:17

my choice in amounts and ignore

1:08:20

the... Oh, it's

1:08:22

like apostrophe S. Apparently you can't say

1:08:24

sex on Venmo. Guess they

1:08:26

weren't informed that the giant content

1:08:28

is Patreon exclusive. You

1:08:31

know that's right. They sent five different payments

1:08:33

of 69 cents. Oh,

1:08:35

let's go, baby! Thank you, Connor.

1:08:39

And then last but not least, Savannah of

1:08:42

Venmo Goat writes, Josh

1:08:44

said fuck you instead of thank you in

1:08:46

the way you did. Yeah, you can't go like this, bro. I

1:08:48

was gonna bring up those comments, and people were like, fuck you.

1:08:51

We saw her like... I said, you want to do it more. I

1:08:54

feel like we just... I told you, we were like, I

1:08:56

feel like that's not right. She

1:08:58

writes, skull emoji, skull emoji. I

1:09:00

left a comment on Patreon explaining

1:09:02

the difference. User is savantology. Shout

1:09:04

your girl out. Yeah, I saw

1:09:07

it. Oh, savantology. Shout out. I've

1:09:09

been there for a while. Yeah.

1:09:11

Savannah is a Venmo Patreon,

1:09:14

possibly YouTube goat. And

1:09:16

they write, just wanted to let

1:09:18

y'all know that it was super

1:09:21

fucking funny. They sent $4.69. John's

1:09:23

signing thank you. I'm just like,

1:09:25

fuck you. Whatever

1:09:27

you did, and John and I...

1:09:30

John and I were both like,

1:09:32

I don't know if that's gonna

1:09:35

go funny. I don't know if that's right.

1:09:38

It's hilarious to me that John was doing all these

1:09:40

like sex motions and stuff like that, and I get

1:09:42

the motion shit. Well, you

1:09:44

know. It's expected from

1:09:46

me. I think it'd be funny because

1:09:49

John was doing it on purpose. You

1:09:51

were genuinely like, oh yeah, this is...

1:09:53

Thank you. I mean, it's so close.

1:09:56

It is very close. I think they're trying to save

1:09:58

you and they think John... be a lost car.

1:10:03

And I don't want to be

1:10:05

famous. I don't disagree. All

1:10:09

right, boys, any comments, reviews,

1:10:11

merch, purchases, concerns?

1:10:14

I got corrected. Apparently, Moose Trax is an

1:10:16

American flavor, which to be fair, I think

1:10:19

the only reason I said, maybe that's a...

1:10:21

I said, Kawartha Dairy is a Canadian brand.

1:10:24

I think that's what I was trying to say in

1:10:26

the episode. Not that Moose Trax is, but... Also,

1:10:29

I think me and John also said, that must

1:10:31

be some Canadian shit. That's some point during that.

1:10:33

Well, everyone said my name. Let's

1:10:37

just blame Josh 2024. Hey, Josh,

1:10:40

maybe you're getting browner. Maybe they just

1:10:42

are confusing all three of us. You know what I

1:10:44

mean? The more time you

1:10:46

get to the browner you get. Yeah,

1:10:48

exactly. No, I don't think

1:10:50

that's true. But yeah, so

1:10:53

Moose Trax is everywhere. Apparently, there's tons

1:10:55

of different kinds as well. So you

1:10:57

guys should try. We should have

1:10:59

like a... Get as many different ones as we can

1:11:01

and try them all. We do need to figure out when

1:11:03

we're going to meet again, not during the wedding. Yep.

1:11:06

Jamie keeps asking me, are y'all still

1:11:08

doing the live show? And I'm like,

1:11:10

because that's a good question. And then

1:11:14

the only other thing, I wanted to pose a

1:11:16

question to you guys. We

1:11:18

spoiled a little bit earlier, but yeah,

1:11:21

I turned 30 tomorrow and

1:11:24

had some introspection, feeling good

1:11:26

about some things in my life, going into 30,

1:11:28

feeling something. Some types of

1:11:30

ways about not owning a house. I

1:11:33

joked to Zeta the other day, I was like, I'm

1:11:36

going to be 30 and unmarried. She's

1:11:38

like, shut the hell up. That's

1:11:41

a bad joke. But

1:11:44

yeah, any advice for me going into 30?

1:11:47

Maybe that'll be the call to action. If you're over

1:11:50

30, give Josh some advice. Oh yeah, that'd be awesome.

1:11:52

That's true. Go

1:11:55

ahead, John. Yeah. My advice...

1:11:57

This is... It's

1:12:00

kind of just a general, not even an over

1:12:02

30 thing, but like comparison is the thief of

1:12:04

joy. I didn't make that shit up,

1:12:06

but it's always. I feel like Sean.

1:12:10

That's what I'm saying. Fucking

1:12:13

good. You know, I got something

1:12:15

to say. Comparison.

1:12:19

It's the thief of joy. You know, it's kind

1:12:21

of like the thief of joy. But

1:12:25

yeah, not owning a house is honestly

1:12:28

in this economy. I also would not be owning

1:12:30

a house had I not got it on the

1:12:32

tip. You know what I mean? It's no

1:12:34

reason to compare yourself to anything. In fact,

1:12:36

you guys have land. You guys are going

1:12:38

to build a house from scratch. That's

1:12:41

way better than just buying a builder grid.

1:12:43

You're going to have a fucking custom made home.

1:12:46

That's fucking sick. But you know, I

1:12:48

don't know. My only advice

1:12:50

going into 30, I guess is life

1:12:54

is not that much different. If you act

1:12:56

like you're old and shit, then

1:12:58

you're going to be old. You got to manage it. I

1:13:02

still like to think I'm young. So

1:13:05

I still try to live life in a young way.

1:13:08

I'm hip. I'm Gen Z. No chewiness

1:13:11

over here, brother. The fact that you

1:13:13

use chew goo. I knew that was going to

1:13:15

get you. Oh

1:13:19

yeah. But you know, as the

1:13:21

elder statesman of the group here and you

1:13:23

know, like 20s was. I'm

1:13:26

turning 33 pretty soon. So

1:13:28

I am the older

1:13:31

man. I need 75 years

1:13:33

old though. Like health issues galore back pain

1:13:35

not happening. But you know, as far as

1:13:37

all that, bro, like you're on your own

1:13:39

timeline. It's kind of like the same advice

1:13:41

that Sean already gave. But

1:13:43

you know, like you're doing you look at

1:13:46

you. You're a businessman. You're CEO. You're

1:13:48

like a white leader of us, you know,

1:13:50

like the white devil working hard. But

1:13:53

in terms of that, bro, like you're on your own timeline. You

1:13:56

know, like it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you don't have a

1:13:58

house right now. You don't have. If you're

1:14:00

saying you don't have this by this age, fuck

1:14:03

that. That's what society dictates. What you have, you're

1:14:05

gonna have a beautiful bride to be. Y'all gonna

1:14:07

have a beautiful future ahead of you. Just

1:14:10

enjoy it, my guy, and live every day like it's your

1:14:12

last. That's all I can... That's all I can give you.

1:14:14

Let's clap for our chief ethnic

1:14:16

officer. Happy

1:14:22

birthday, brother. BIE, baby, let's

1:14:24

go! Jesus

1:14:26

Christ. Oh,

1:14:30

fuck. He's gonna stick all this in

1:14:32

his fucking mouth. I'm gonna

1:14:34

change my LinkedIn profile. Oh,

1:14:39

shit. Alright, that's it for this week.

1:14:41

Remember, call to action. Leave your comments,

1:14:44

advice, life advice for Josh. Only if

1:14:46

you're over 30. We don't

1:14:48

want to hear anything from you young

1:14:50

people. Fucking young motherfuckers, you hip bitches.

1:14:53

Don't want that shit. Enjoy

1:14:55

your youth. Yeah. Fucking youth. It's

1:14:57

over as soon as you're 30. Alright. Shit,

1:15:00

I knew it. That's

1:15:02

it for this week. We'll see

1:15:04

you guys on Friday. Bye.

1:15:06

Bye. Bye. Bye.

1:15:10

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

1:15:14

Bye. Bye. Bye.

1:15:17

Bye. Bye. Bye.

1:15:20

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

1:15:24

Bye. Bye. Bye.

1:15:27

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