0:00

Josh, we've made it to the planet

0:03

with the freemen. There's sand everywhere. There's

0:05

a secret weapon we need to harness

0:07

to take back the freedom for our

0:10

people. What is it? It's

0:12

this giant speaker that rumbles

0:14

at the same frequency as the

0:17

worm and it plays only Reddit

0:19

podcasts. Josh, you've done it again.

0:22

Now let's free the people by telling

0:24

them about this incredible podcast. Translation,

0:27

go listen to OKOP

0:29

show from your alien

0:32

overlords. What's up,

0:35

wicked maniacs? On today's episode, we

0:37

have a husband who is embarrassed

0:39

by his wife's sexuality, a wife

0:42

who wants to end her marriage, an

0:45

OP fakes giving birth, a

0:47

wife hijacks her husband's free vacation, a

0:50

husband thinks he funds his wife's

0:53

lifestyle, and a

0:55

husband considers divorce after coming home

0:57

late from work. For the

0:59

Patreon exclusive stories, we have a girlfriend who is

1:02

too wet and

1:04

an OP breaks his leg while his

1:06

girlfriend breaks his heart. If

1:08

those sound interesting to you and you want

1:11

day early and ad-free episodes, head on over

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to patreon.com/Cultivate Podcast Network or sign up

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for our YouTube members page. Reddit

1:17

on wiki starts now. What's up

1:19

wicked maniacs? It's

1:29

your boy Josh here. Join

1:31

for another am I the asshole Friday?

1:34

Join with me. Of course. I'm

1:36

my two co-hosts. John, say it, say it, say

1:39

it, say who we are. Josh, my

1:41

co-hosts, my lovely co-hosts. No,

1:44

no. Come on, chief ethnic officer. Say

1:46

it. We're Browns,

1:48

Josh. All

1:52

I gotta say is I cannot wait

1:54

till that bonus story. Too

1:57

wet. Too wet, yeah. I knew that

1:59

one was good. Yeah, John John will

2:01

not be able to focus until we get to

2:03

the Patriots. I'm done like I'm

2:06

just calling an asshole not the asshole. I'm just flip-flopping

2:08

until it get to the well you get to the

2:10

important part. Yeah Yeah, yeah, that's the most important part

2:12

me and Shawn this but you know off

2:15

camera off camera I

2:19

can't wait. So this is actually a monumental

2:21

am I the asshole Friday? the

2:24

first one where I'm in

2:26

my 30s technically when Big

2:30

behind the scenes. It's before I'm 30,

2:32

but I will be 30 when it comes

2:34

out. So Call to

2:37

action greet Josh. Happy birthday

2:39

Now call to action say go Leafs go in the

2:41

comments because it's playoffs as well, baby. Let's go go

2:47

Yeah, sure let's do that and I

2:49

will talk about it on ESP Sean

2:51

whenever that I Also

2:58

went live on YouTube last week, whoa And

3:02

I'm sure you crushed it. I hope

3:04

so as we're talking it's

3:06

tomorrow, but We

3:08

announced that anywhere is it a surprise surprise. I'm

3:11

just gonna kind of do it It's mostly a

3:13

test because we want to do more going forward.

3:15

This is true. We're doing

3:17

a live stream for Patreon and members

3:19

only Next

3:22

week I think That's

3:25

super fun, but then yeah, we want to do more

3:28

just regular live streams as well You

3:31

know, I have time on

3:33

my hands and the boys don't so It's

3:36

one way for us to create more content for you What

3:40

is time and how can we procure that? That's

3:43

the endless question. I think Scholars

3:46

for years have been trying to But

3:50

we won't get into that because I don't want

3:52

an existential crisis on my first So

3:57

hop into the first story if you

4:00

guys are ready. Wait, before you do

4:02

that, awesome. There you go. All

4:05

the merch available right now. Read

4:07

it on Wiki shop.com. Your

4:10

favorite roach queen, the sultry,

4:12

all the buy it rocker

4:14

support her. Yes. We love

4:17

hog and this merch. Yeah.

4:20

Anyone shout out to Janelle at

4:22

fat lip for the awesome design,

4:24

by the way. Oh yeah. Good call. John.

4:26

Good call it. But now we're ready for

4:29

the first story. Now we're ready. Let's do

4:31

it. Hop into it. All right. So this

4:33

one cross posted by salamander, neither six nine

4:35

five. And the title for this

4:37

one is am I the asshole for not telling

4:39

people at my new job that my wife is

4:41

bi? I don't

4:44

think they're business. Yeah.

4:46

I don't know. I would not

4:48

be discussing my wife's sexuality

4:50

at all. Anything. I would

4:52

not be discussing my wife in general.

4:54

Yeah. Well, I think talking about

4:57

your partner is fine, but

4:59

there's sexuality. You don't even know. Yeah. Any

5:02

private details you don't need to know. My

5:04

coworkers, not my fucking buddy buddies.

5:07

I mean some people have friends with their

5:09

coworkers, but yeah, I agree with you on this. I

5:11

still don't. All

5:15

right. So my wife, 36 female and I 35

5:17

male have been married for a little more

5:21

than five years. She

5:23

realized she was bisexual last year and came

5:25

out to me and my, our friends and

5:27

family earlier this year. I

5:29

started a new job in March and my

5:31

wife asked if I would be comfortable telling

5:33

my new coworkers that she is bisexual. I

5:36

told her I'd think about it and see what the vibe in

5:38

the office is to me. That doesn't

5:40

seem like anyone's business. And I

5:42

can also see how that might be inappropriate or creep

5:45

people out, which I think I

5:47

agree with. Yeah. I mean, even

5:49

if you're telling people, yeah, my wife

5:51

is straight. Okay, brother. Like, okay. That's

5:53

weird too. Why? Why

5:57

are you telling that? Yeah. I

5:59

guess I, I'm not having lunch with that guys weird You

6:03

guys know that guy's wife is straight. That's crazy My

6:07

wife and I had another conversation about it tonight

6:09

and it got heated when I told her I

6:11

still haven't told anyone at My job, it's

6:13

not relevant to my job There hasn't been

6:16

any opening to bring it up naturally in

6:18

conversation And it really doesn't seem

6:20

like any of their business to me you

6:22

watch the game last night. My wife is

6:24

bisexual Okay

6:28

Did you get that report in my wife is

6:30

bisexual and no? Oh Okay

6:37

She asked me if I'm ashamed of her and

6:39

I said no because I'm not yeah

6:42

She said it feels like I don't really believe that

6:44

she is bisexual I Said

6:49

I'm sorry if she feels that way because of course I

6:51

believe her I have no reason not to I said

6:54

I just don't think it's anyone's business. She

6:56

told me she's already out to her co-workers And

6:59

I said I was glad for her coming out to her

7:01

co-workers who she's known for years now But

7:03

it's different than me outing her when I haven't even been

7:05

in my job for a whole four weeks yet On

7:12

this for like an hour before we call the timeout

7:14

and she went to bed and I went for a

7:17

walk It's not that I'm ashamed.

7:19

It's not that I think she's a lying for attention

7:21

It's not even that I think either

7:23

of us will get judged or treated unfairly for it It's

7:26

just that I don't think it's anyone's business and it would be

7:28

weird to just say that of the blue My

7:30

direct boss and two senior people on my

7:32

team are also women and I don't want

7:34

them to think I'm proposing anything weird Or

7:37

inappropriate by telling them Brackets

7:39

my wife says that's ridiculous But I know if a

7:41

woman I barely knew told me out of the blue

7:43

that her husband was bisexual I would

7:45

think she's trying to set something up. I Love

7:48

my wife and I do support her But

7:51

her being bi has nothing to do with my

7:53

job and there honestly hasn't been any organic opening

7:55

in conversation at work Where me

7:57

telling everyone about it would make any sense I

8:00

told her I'd put up a bisexual flag pin during

8:02

Pride Month, but she just rolled her eyes at that

8:05

Should I be doing more and am I

8:07

the asshole? No, and

8:10

I think you're absolutely right. It's no one's business

8:13

If I were you if you're gonna have like you're

8:15

printing you to your job, right? Like the chances are

8:17

you're gonna do a lot of meet and greets a

8:19

lot of zoom meetings ice breaker two truths and a

8:21

lie Hit that shit like My

8:26

wife is bisexual I like coffee

8:28

I have two dogs, which is

8:30

a lie Like

8:32

your wife's bisexual is a lie Yeah,

8:45

what do you what do you think Sean I think this is

8:48

Just because you know is the same way of

8:50

she was straight or you

8:52

know, if y'all let's say

8:54

something else like not sexuality But let's

8:56

just say like you're in a polyamorous

8:58

situation. There's yeah Just

9:01

when would you bring that up to? Your

9:04

work? Yeah, not that there's anything inherently

9:06

wrong with either of those things But

9:09

I'm just never talking about that, you know what

9:11

I mean? Yeah, so I

9:13

don't I just can't imagine like

9:17

my co-workers just talking to me about Their

9:20

sex life or their wife sexuality or

9:22

their husband sexuality. I would just be

9:24

like, I mean Cool.

9:26

I'm all for you know being open. I

9:28

just it seems random unless

9:30

we're very close and probably in four weeks

9:33

He's not very close. I don't know what

9:35

she wants him to do. Maybe like an

9:37

email in his little signature You

9:40

know, my wife is my financial officer

9:42

husband of bisexual wife. I don't know

9:45

What is L I will say like he's

9:48

doing the right thing though Because how do

9:50

you broach that to someone else and someone,

9:52

you know happens to be like yo, I'm

9:55

creeped out by this Really sexual harassment right

9:57

there because it's like I don't need

9:59

to know this uncomfortable about this is like

10:01

sexuality that they're talking about I'm

10:04

uncomfortable four weeks in they could probably be

10:06

like oh well you know you know

10:08

fucked up your ground we can't imagine it's it's

10:10

grounds for termination for some places and a lot

10:12

of places are at will state and they're just

10:14

like oh you're just not a cultural fit for

10:16

us because you just fucking creep people out so

10:19

I don't see word like Opie said

10:21

I don't see where organically where this

10:24

can be had in a conversation even

10:26

if let's say it's a company party

10:28

Christmas party and she's there with you

10:31

that's still weird to broach like hey nice to meet

10:33

you on bisexual by the way yeah that's

10:35

still weird maybe if you got

10:37

like I don't know like a sticker

10:40

on your car I don't know what stickers they have my

10:42

wife's bisexual I mean you could

10:45

do that yeah yeah I don't

10:47

know I don't know what you do with

10:49

that situation in a lose-lose situation yeah you

10:51

sound supportive as fuck he wants to do

10:53

all these things yeah cuz it'd make her

10:55

happy but it's like why would I why

10:57

would I not believe her yeah

10:59

yeah and it doesn't like it has nothing

11:02

to do with her bisexuality it's like it'd

11:04

be same if like his wife was straight

11:06

and was like hey make sure I don't

11:08

want the office up straight yeah like

11:10

no I'm not gonna do that I would

11:13

never bring that up in an office even

11:15

us like we're close friends like

11:18

cuz we're it's a different work environment we have like

11:23

if it came up organically and Sienna

11:25

was bisexual I'd let you know but

11:28

that's not like organically comes up in

11:32

conversation you

11:34

know in that type of way in

11:36

a work environment I imagine

11:39

she's on the treadmill being like what the fuck

11:41

are they talking like okay

11:43

yeah literally

11:48

just like okay that was

11:50

a strange interaction yeah

11:53

so I get him not wanting to just

11:55

I wonder if the blue drop that but

11:57

if her work environment is like a very

11:59

like like open, maybe

12:02

like younger, but it's

12:04

also a different, maybe like a

12:06

different, like, you know, I don't

12:08

know, just at like a very liberal company. She

12:11

had nothing to do with the work environment

12:13

though. So that's the thing. Yeah, I don't

12:15

know. There's no reason. I'm just saying maybe

12:18

her only work experience is in like chiller

12:20

places and he's like working in a corporate,

12:23

maybe older people are there. It's

12:25

like, it just seems out of

12:27

the blue to just bring up. Yeah. Even

12:30

beyond that, I think it's a little bit

12:32

different when it's you coming out to people

12:34

and she's worked at this company for years.

12:36

So she probably has friends. And

12:38

so she probably sees them more as friends than

12:41

coworkers, which is a dangerous game to

12:43

play. Yeah. But like

12:47

that's a completely different scenario. She's comfortable with

12:49

the people she's telling. It's also, you know,

12:52

her sexuality, she's talking to people about. So

12:54

there's probably more cases where that's organic. You

12:56

know what I mean? Yeah. I

12:59

was like, hey, what'd you do this weekend? Oh, I came out.

13:01

You know what I mean? Like way different

13:03

than your husband just out of the blue dropping

13:05

that. So I don't know. I

13:07

mean, I guess he could answer that the same way.

13:09

Like what'd you do this weekend? Oh, my wife came

13:11

out. I guess that would

13:13

be the only natural way, but also you've only

13:16

been there four weeks. That is, yeah, that is

13:18

still something that is just, yeah,

13:20

it's definitely, it's just one of those things

13:22

where it's too private for anyone to really

13:24

give a damn about. Yeah. Or

13:27

should care about anyway. Or should care about,

13:29

yeah. Yeah. Most of Reddit

13:31

deemed not the asshole. It was on one

13:34

of the ones that doesn't have the

13:36

flair. So I didn't know 100%, but most of the

13:38

comments were like, yeah, that seems bizarre

13:40

of an ask for her. But

13:43

many people were speculating that she's

13:46

probably feeling like insecure

13:48

and maybe like it's, you

13:51

know, her own. Which is fair. That's

13:53

like, you know, that's a very vulnerable

13:55

position she's in for coming out. Yeah,

13:58

100%. That's the situation. It's

14:00

just not warranted. Oh, no. Yeah.

14:04

And then curious, lower score,

14:06

opposite, lower score, 917 said,

14:08

I'm struggling to think of a situation at work

14:10

where this might be appropriate and relevant to mention

14:12

this, to which Unpeachable Taint

14:14

said, congratulations, OP, for the great

14:17

work on your last project. Thanks, boss.

14:19

I couldn't have done it without my

14:21

bisexual wife's support. That seems natural. That's

14:26

strange. Oh, God. Oh,

14:29

so yeah. The only thing I can think of while you're at it...

14:31

You see everyone while you're at it. Is bumper sticker. Yeah,

14:34

or the pride flag that he was talking about

14:36

anyway. Yeah, also a good... Or a coffee mug.

14:38

Yeah. If you're in a little

14:40

coffee mug and you just happen to hold the

14:42

handle and just people see it, if

14:44

someone asks, cool if they don't. Yeah. Don't

14:47

play anything. Sure. If

14:49

you know, you know type two. Exactly. Yeah.

14:52

Yeah. All right. I'll

14:55

give him the go. That's about

14:58

to go. That's about to go.

15:00

So this one is, am I overreacting for

15:02

ending my marriage? Depends.

15:10

There's a lot of fuck ups that could

15:12

have been done in marriages. So maybe

15:15

you didn't announce in the world

15:17

that your wife's bisexual. And that's

15:19

valid. I'll

15:24

say, you know, just statistic wise, there's

15:26

always... There's a lot of

15:29

valid reasons that people could say it's overreacting,

15:31

but you know, only you can say if

15:33

it is overreacting or not. Only

15:35

you can prevent forest fires. That's right, Smokey.

15:39

So I'll go not the asshole. I'll go

15:41

with Sean here. All right. So

15:43

my husband and I have a reoccurring problem

15:45

in our marriage. He

15:48

has consistently put other women's

15:50

needs before mine. Well,

15:52

then goddamn, that's not overreacting. What the

15:54

fuck? And not just any

15:56

women, only attractive ones.

16:00

Girl you you in the right Attractive

16:08

Well, she didn't say she wasn't attractive just that he

16:11

puts other attractive women's no

16:13

one of hers Yeah, you bad bitch yourself.

16:15

I bet so like I Am

16:18

totally fine with him being attracted to other

16:21

women and I get that that's normal I'll

16:23

even check out random strangers with him not

16:25

a problem The only problem is

16:27

that when we are around other pretty women

16:30

he ignores me in the past

16:32

He's told me he didn't want to spend $60 in

16:34

something to help me have a not have a panic

16:36

attack Then the next week he wanted

16:38

to buy a $60 birthday present

16:40

for his female hairdresser What

16:48

are you talking about I would never well,

16:51

I mean my barbers my homie I would probably buy

16:53

him a nice birthday cake but I

16:57

don't a panic attack. I don't think I

16:59

would have spent more money on my barber than

17:01

I would my wife from

17:04

a panic attack an emergency

17:08

Or refused to walk me to the car when

17:10

I left a party but walked a group of

17:13

girls out later to keep them safe Stuff

17:15

like this

17:17

happens all

17:19

the time

17:21

We've done

17:24

five years of therapy and he still

17:26

denies it's an issue I've

17:28

worked with him I've forgiven him each time

17:31

Hell nah Dump

17:33

the motherfucker. Yeah In

17:36

January, I had my friend and her boyfriend over

17:38

for game night They were there

17:40

for about four hours the first 90 minutes.

17:42

My husband paid attention to no one but

17:44

her I didn't exist It

17:47

was like watching them a two on a date in

17:49

my own home I kicked him

17:52

under the table to get his attention and he didn't

17:54

notice I went to the bathroom and

17:56

cried Jordan

18:00

It's like Jordan Paul Patties. I

18:04

went to the bathroom and cried and he still

18:07

didn't notice. Oh, it's

18:09

a boyfriend thinking like this

18:11

is weird. For real. I would square

18:13

up. This last weekend we went on a trip

18:15

with friends. I told him I

18:18

could tell he was attracted to one girl that and

18:21

that I didn't like the way he acted towards her. Mainly

18:23

that when we were all outside, I kept mentioning how

18:26

cold it was and he did nothing, which

18:28

is fine. I didn't expect him to do anything. But

18:31

as soon as she said she was cold, he

18:33

jumped up and turned the heater on beside her.

18:35

Damn Jackie, I can't control the weather. I was thinking

18:38

the same spot. Damn Jackie, it

18:40

would be colder than that. He

18:45

said he'd fix his behavior towards her. A

18:48

few hours later, it's just three of us on the porch. I

18:51

was obviously uncomfortable and said we should go inside.

18:54

At first he said he was fine to stay. Then he

18:56

saw my face and said he'd go in. He

18:59

said I'm fine to stay. It

19:01

was wild. I'm going to go in. Yeah, you should.

19:04

You should absolutely. You should. The

19:07

girl was going to join us and she mentioned,

19:09

should we turn the heater off? I

19:12

said I'm sure that she's got it. It has

19:14

one knob and turns high to low or off.

19:16

It's not hard. I turn around at the door

19:18

and my husband is facing away from me side

19:20

by side with his chick helping her turn it

19:23

off. Later on by the

19:25

fire, she made a comment that she needs that it

19:27

needs more wood and he immediately hopped up to get

19:29

it. I think he's simping for these

19:31

pretty women and it turned

19:34

often ignoring my own needs. He

19:36

thinks he's just being a nice guy and only helped

19:38

her with the heater because she's quote

19:41

useless. He doesn't take responsibility

19:43

for his actions. There's always an

19:45

excuse. He seems to think I'm overreacting because

19:47

I want to leave him. After

19:49

five years of this and trying to work on it, it's

19:52

clear he'll never admit to his actions are

19:54

a problem. I'm hoping

19:56

the Reddit community can set one or both

19:58

of us straight. So am

20:00

I overreacting? Hell no! Hell no!

20:03

Apparently Chivalry isn't dead for this

20:05

guy and less is for his

20:08

wife. Yeah! That's insane to me.

20:10

Dude. The wife

20:12

needs behind anyone else's is

20:15

crazy. Ugh. No, not

20:17

anyone else's. Sorry. Just

20:19

a pretty one. Particularly. Girls, you might

20:21

get ragged. Pretty girls, yeah. Ugh. But

20:25

what? White knighting bullshit. It's just

20:27

like I want to help out. These

20:29

pretty girls. And simping is the correct term

20:32

for that. So she nailed that. I

20:34

wonder what his end goal really is

20:36

with these girls. Like if you're going

20:38

like above and beyond like... It's

20:42

just person cheating at this point. Yeah.

20:45

I think he... Yeah, emotionally. Yeah,

20:47

I think he wants a reason

20:49

to cheat. I'm sure if

20:51

someone gave him the reason to cheat. Yeah, that's what

20:53

I'm saying. If somebody was like, yeah, gave him the

20:56

opportunity to cheat, I think he would be down. Yeah,

20:59

he's like bet. Because he's down bet. Dude.

21:03

Hey, I'm going to get up and go. Yeah,

21:05

you should. You should. See ya. That's

21:09

wild. Hey, I'm cold. Alright, what do

21:11

you want me to do about it? Damn, Jackie. Other

21:13

girl. Yeah, me and Panic Attack. Hey,

21:16

just calm down. Other

21:18

girl, I'm cold. Here's my jacket. Here's

21:20

the heater. Do we need

21:22

both firewood? Fucking chopping. You want me to hold

21:25

you? Chopping shit. It takes a shirt off to

21:27

do it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's

21:29

wild. Yeah, that's the fourth.

21:31

Five years is way too

21:33

long to put up with that shit.

21:36

Yeah. So more power to you.

21:38

You'll pay your person. You tried your best. It is

21:40

time to go. Yeah. If

21:43

you want to be petty, do that to like hot

21:45

dudes that you find attractive. Show

21:48

up. If you want to fuck around too. Oh,

21:50

and he's... I'm saying. I know for

21:52

a fact he'd be the type of guy who... And

21:54

be jealous. Oh, what you flirting with that guy for?

21:56

Exactly. He's the type. Yeah, give him a taste of

21:59

his own medicine. Yeah, but

22:01

leave him. It might also be too stupid to

22:03

realize That's true So

22:11

she throws in edit wow, thank you all very much

22:13

It's very validating to hear the same insight from strangers

22:15

that i've been saying for years My

22:17

husband is very kind to me in private and

22:19

there's a lot that I love about him and our relationship

22:22

But I can't live forever with this one issue

22:24

ongoing. Thank you all for the feedback And

22:27

then there is a quick update. She said I

22:29

asked him if it would help knowing other people

22:31

shared my opinion He said yes So

22:34

I read him the post and asked him if this

22:36

sounded like an accurate summary of our issues And

22:39

he said yes So I showed

22:41

so he agreed to everything But

22:44

he's not gonna do anything about it. Uh,

22:46

so I showed him the thread and he said he

22:48

felt like I had colored it in a certain way

22:51

Changed the fact that well some of his

22:53

actions weren't okay And some of

22:55

them were perfectly fine and that I shouldn't shouldn't be

22:58

so upset with them So

23:00

he knows it's problematic, but he doesn't

23:02

want to acknowledge that he's the problem

23:05

uh Well, I kind

23:07

of he's he's saying like yeah, some of them

23:09

weren't okay Some of them were

23:11

justified some of them were justified is what he's

23:14

saying that he that she should also not be

23:16

upset So Uh,

23:19

I didn't fuck up a few times, but don't

23:21

be mad. Yeah, but you should get over it

23:25

We have two therapy sessions next week. Hopefully one of

23:27

them can talk some sense into him before it's too

23:29

late and i've got to say That

23:35

old dog ain't learning new tricks And

23:39

hundreds of confidence Saying holy

23:41

he was in the wrong and he's still like well, you

23:43

shouldn't be upset about it That's

23:46

a pretty fair and accurate way that you wrote

23:48

it Wait,

23:51

no you painted me in a bad lie

23:57

Uh, ah may it said my

23:59

best friend My friend's dad was like this, would

24:01

give the t-shirt off his back for strangers, but

24:03

never had those same actions towards his family. He

24:06

gets a call from his friend that he needs to be bailed

24:08

out of jail, he'll send him the money. Then,

24:11

has to call his daughter to borrow

24:13

said money because his unemployment didn't come

24:15

in. He is now divorced and

24:17

all of his children don't speak to him. This

24:20

guy doesn't care who he

24:22

hurts as long as he gets to feel like a little savior.

24:24

I'm sending for my wife and my

24:27

wife only. God damn. I

24:29

don't know. I truly don't understand the

24:31

other reason. Yeah, which ones are okay

24:33

to him? Yeah, that's

24:36

true. I wonder what that was

24:38

either. Oh

24:41

fuck. Sean

24:45

Sean, I'm hungry and Jain isn't home

24:47

to make us a delicious meal like

24:49

he usually does. What

24:51

are we gonna do? Don't worry.

24:53

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26:24

All right, the next one we

26:26

got here cross posted by the goat Mary

26:28

gets And

26:33

this one is am I the

26:35

asshole for faking my giving birth? Oh,

26:38

this is for PTO then no do you

26:44

Know a lot of people fucked up for agreement Not

26:49

a lot but something like I mean we

26:52

were in just technically technically it's

26:54

fraud, but I encourage it Oh

26:58

People were like, oh now this gives

27:00

corporate the reason to crack down on

27:02

not giving paternity leave it I'm like,

27:05

I mean, I already do crack Give

27:10

your arm and leg to fucking even get

27:13

a day off some yeah, I

27:15

have no sympathy for corporate Yeah us

27:17

laughing about a situation where a guy is

27:19

getting free getting away with it paid time

27:22

off is Yeah, not not

27:24

the issue I think nope, but

27:26

what do you guys think about this one? This

27:29

could go Pre-f

27:32

I feel like but if they're pretending

27:34

they're pregnant the whole time then Nine

27:40

months of lies is wild Yeah,

27:43

I don't know. I feel like I'm

27:45

looking at statistic wise There's probably

27:48

more reasons why this is fucked up than

27:50

not so I will say

27:52

asshole or it could probably

27:54

like that situation where

27:56

like they need

27:59

to for some reason

28:01

insurance might kick in a certain

28:03

way if they go to the hospital earlier or

28:05

something like that ala pam Oh, yeah

28:08

gym the operation. So maybe I'm

28:10

just gonna lean on that. I'm

28:12

gonna knock the asshole for this one Alright,

28:15

so I'll keep this as short as possible I

28:19

25 female and pregnant with

28:21

the baby do in a couple of days Okay,

28:24

my husband 25 male Promised

28:26

that he would be the one to drive me to the

28:28

hospital and that he will be glued to his phone until

28:30

birth Only 10 minutes

28:32

away from her home and his boss agreed to let

28:35

him go when the baby when the birth happens I

28:37

see where this is going. The problem

28:39

is my mother-in-law My

28:41

husband and her have an unhealthy in

28:43

my opinion strong bond and

28:46

she is overly Involved in our relationship which

28:48

has caused many issues in the past Yeah,

28:52

she requires his attention every day. She

28:55

suggested moving in with us ever since I

28:57

became pregnant She's also had

29:00

Emergencies whenever we

29:02

have anniversaries important occasions like

29:04

my birthday As

29:07

the date is approaching I became increasingly

29:09

worried that his mother will have an

29:11

emergency During birth and

29:14

I will have trouble getting to the hospital or

29:16

will be forced to be alone during it I

29:19

voiced my concerns and it caused fights between me

29:21

and them I even suggested

29:23

asking my best friend to drive me to

29:25

keep me company as I'm scared of giving

29:27

birth But it was shot down with a how

29:30

can't you trust your own husband? Cuz

29:32

you're a mama's boy. So I'm

29:34

not proud of it, but I faked

29:36

birth yesterday I called my

29:38

husband at work told him it started and he

29:41

said he will be right there After

29:43

half an hour. I called to

29:45

ask him where he was and he didn't answer After

29:48

almost an hour. He called me to say that

29:50

he is in the hospital with his mom because

29:53

guess what? She's having a

29:55

medical emergency Apparently

29:57

he called to tell her I am giving birth

29:59

and she a heart attack from

30:01

excitement. He said he will have

30:04

to miss my birth and actually asked me to call

30:06

my friend to drive me and stay with me. Well,

30:10

he divorced tonight.

30:13

Yeah, that's insanity.

30:15

Oh, there's already.

30:17

I admit it, I was very angry and heartbroken.

30:20

So I told him I wasn't actually giving birth

30:22

and that it was a test that showed me

30:24

how he would actually behave versus what he said

30:26

he would do and that it

30:29

proved he was always care for his mother more

30:31

than his own wife who care who's carrying his

30:33

child. He was very angry and

30:35

even blamed me for his mother's heart attack

30:37

in that moment. His mom,

30:39

of course, didn't have a heart attack

30:41

but a false alarm. I felt

30:44

very justified. But now that we talked, I feel

30:46

guilty. He said he feels

30:48

manipulated and gaslit. You'd

30:52

love it. He's manipulating and gasl-ing. Oh, I

30:54

didn't even notice that. Fighting. Captain fighting. That's

30:56

all I'm watching. Now,

31:01

just because his mother lied about the emergency doesn't

31:03

mean I should lie to him. He

31:06

said that marriage is built on trust, so I have

31:08

to trust him instead of lying to prove a point.

31:11

He even said that he didn't choose me

31:13

over his own mother but a bigger

31:15

emergency and that he knew I

31:18

could handle getting to the hospital but his

31:20

mother needed him more and that a heart

31:22

attack is more serious. I

31:24

pointed out that she lied but he said he

31:26

couldn't have known that and that I was just

31:28

as bad for lying. I feel

31:31

like I'm going crazy. Am I the asshole?

31:33

I'm gonna go non

31:35

this way. Even- Okay. I'm

31:38

not calling her an asshole but what she did

31:40

is very justifiable to me because she saw a

31:42

pattern. There's a pattern of like behavior from the

31:44

mom and first of all, the mom is unhinged

31:46

as shit. If I was OP, if I'm not

31:48

divorcing this husband right now because it seems like

31:51

he's gonna be team mom forever, I'd

31:53

suggest we're moving the fuck away even if

31:55

it's a city away or at least like

31:58

some sort of distance for that. to not

32:00

be an issue going forward. But to

32:03

say like her situation or OP situation is

32:06

not as severe as the mom's when the

32:08

mom has a history of faking

32:10

shit or like having those quote

32:12

unquote emergencies. The fact that

32:14

you don't side with your wife at such a

32:17

location where she probably communicated so many

32:20

times that hey, I'm afraid of childbirth

32:22

and you shushed it and brushed it

32:24

away. Dude deserves to be

32:26

divorced at this point. Part

32:31

of me is like, if

32:34

there was no pattern and

32:37

she had a fake heart attack that she thought was

32:40

a real heart attack, that's a

32:42

tough situation to be in. But given that there is

32:44

a history of these

32:47

fake flare ups every

32:49

time something important is happening. I

32:52

mean, and this is kind of similar to the

32:54

Dusty Fuck from Monday, like testing your

32:56

partner. To which,

32:59

you know, some of these are okay. Most

33:01

of these are terrible. And

33:04

this is definitely a manufactured scenario,

33:06

but this has, I

33:09

think it's different when there's already a history of it

33:12

there. You know what I mean?

33:14

You kind of already know the probable

33:16

cause. Yeah, there's problems. She's voiced like

33:18

concern a bunch of times already. Yep,

33:20

yeah. Prove her points. It's

33:23

crazy. I could get it if he was like,

33:25

she brought it up and he was like, yeah,

33:27

you know what? Like my mom is sick. I

33:31

wouldn't want to like leave her alone if something happens.

33:33

So maybe it is a good idea just to have

33:35

like a plan B. But instead, both

33:37

he and his mom gaslit the fuck

33:39

out of her and be like, you

33:41

can't trust your husband? What's up with

33:43

that? That's so weird. And then immediately

33:46

they both proved that she

33:48

should not trust her husband.

33:51

So I don't, part of me

33:53

is like, oh man, that is a tough situation. Your mom's

33:55

having a heart attack and your wife's giving

33:57

birth. What do you do? for

34:00

your wife, but you got to figure out how

34:02

to get your mom to safety. But if

34:04

she does this literally on her fucking, on

34:06

your wife's birthday or on your anniversary with

34:08

your wife, it seems like it's probably

34:11

fake. I

34:13

do see where it's a tough situation, but

34:15

absolutely insane for this

34:18

to happen so many times and then to brush off her

34:20

concerns whenever she does bring it up. It's

34:23

not a tough situation for me. Fuck those two. I

34:27

wish she had a real heart attack.

34:29

I'll say it. If your mom had

34:31

a heart attack when Sienna was giving

34:33

birth, you'd be like, I

34:35

gotta go, mom. Yeah, absolutely. You

34:37

can die during childbirth. No, you

34:39

can die during both, but like,

34:41

I don't know. But my

34:43

mom has my dad. You know what

34:45

I mean? Or like other families. It's

34:47

hard to compare that type of situation

34:49

because like this one is so

34:52

obviously there's like a pattern involved. Yeah, this

34:54

one's so of course the bias is already

34:56

there. But like, of course, no pattern. It's

34:58

a terrible situation to be in. Oh, for

35:00

sure. It's a tough situation. But like, I

35:02

have no sympathy with the mom and husband

35:04

at all. In this particular situation with all

35:06

the evidence of history and everything, and

35:09

easy, an easy choice would be there.

35:11

I mean, I'm just saying in general,

35:13

that would be a tough one is what I'm saying.

35:15

Oh, definitely. Don't hear what I'm not saying. I'm

35:18

not saying, oh yeah, if

35:20

the mom faked it all the time, of course I

35:22

would go

35:24

make sure my wife gave birth. But a

35:26

first time scenario, like, oh, like,

35:29

and there's nobody else? That's scary. That's a scary

35:31

situation. It's tough. That is tough. But that's not

35:33

the case with this story. So no, not at

35:35

all. For sure. I was just trying to give

35:38

him some sympathy, but he really deserves none. Yeah.

35:41

And I'll dial back the, I wish he actually had a

35:43

heart attack. I'll dial that back. I've had the time to

35:45

say I kind of went a little far though. I'll

35:51

read all my word, Josh.

35:54

I'd like to make a statement. Uh, fuck

35:56

peanut allergies. Oh

36:00

fuck. Um, yeah, reddit team not the

36:02

asshole. I've had some real life

36:04

friends come up to be be like I heard

36:07

what you said You

36:11

want me to die motherfucker As

36:19

he's munching on like peanut butter I

36:21

just blow some like

36:23

you want protein Uh

36:26

munchkins lower score n dragon said honestly after

36:29

this sent I probably wouldn't even be planning

36:31

to tell him I went into labor anymore

36:34

His mom is gonna drama thing up drama things

36:36

up. So he misses it anyway So

36:38

I just cut the middleman out and saved

36:40

myself some stress And

36:42

save herself some stress. Yeah, buffy wannabe

36:45

13 responded that said the way I

36:47

would just give birth and not tell him Until the baby

36:49

was in my arms so I could text

36:51

him baby is here. You can come visit now Sorry, I

36:53

didn't say anything earlier. I didn't want to give your mom

36:55

another heart attack Bam, I

36:58

love that's the way Yeah,

37:00

that's a hundred and then leave and

37:02

then leave and she delivered and delivered, you

37:04

know what I'm saying? She

37:07

served and delivered Yeah,

37:11

hell yeah, I think that's probably the safest way

37:13

because then you know Payback

37:15

you're probably not gonna be there anyway, dude. So yeah

37:18

Why why you miss the you miss

37:20

the initial fake birth who's

37:22

to say you won't miss the next one? So

37:24

yeah, I just leave him out of it I

37:26

and I hate that too because like i'm a

37:28

mama's boy, but i'm not that type of mama's

37:30

boy, right? Like those people fucking Yeah

37:33

scared the shit out of me You

37:35

can love your parents and have a healthy relationship with

37:38

them. Yeah I'm

37:40

taking my mom to a trip. It's gonna be a solo

37:43

trip with me and my mom because she deserves a damn

37:45

vacation So i'm like hey mom i'm gonna treat you out

37:47

for for a trip and to me

37:49

i'm just like, okay That's kind of weird. This is

37:51

me and we're gonna be my mom. But like no

37:53

in this situation. It's just like god Damn,

37:55

there's these somebody's parents are

37:58

like helicopter moms and there's attached their kids.

38:00

That's scary to me. Yeah, that's different. Like, Sienna's

38:02

the same. She wants to go on a trip

38:05

with her mom before

38:07

her mom can't go on trips anymore. And

38:10

she wants to go to Europe. So they're going

38:12

to try and schedule something over the

38:14

next few years. That's pretty awesome. Yeah. It's the

38:16

same thing, though. It's like, that's

38:19

a healthy... That's fine. That's a healthy relationship with your

38:21

parents. You know what I

38:23

mean? You can still want to be

38:25

friends and hang out with your parents.

38:28

This is weird. It's a while. This

38:30

next one's cross-posted by MaryGits2011again. Two back-to-backs.

38:33

Two. The

38:35

double-double episode. And

38:38

this one's titled, Am I the asshole for not

38:40

letting my wife hijack a free vacation? Wait,

38:43

you didn't take your wife? Probably. If

38:45

it's free, how's she

38:48

jacking it? Oh, maybe it's one

38:50

of those agreed upon, like, hey, this is

38:52

going to be a certain trip, like

38:54

a boy's trip or, like, a family trip. And

38:56

just like, hey, can you just stay

38:58

back a little bit? If

39:00

it's specifically communicated, then maybe not

39:02

the asshole for me. All

39:04

right. Sean looks less convinced by

39:06

that. This

39:09

feels like husbands are usually on the wrong on this. What'd

39:11

you say, Jon? You said asshole? I

39:13

say not the asshole. Maybe they communicated that, like, hey, this is my

39:15

trip. Yeah.

39:19

I can't be wrong twice in a row, right, Sean?

39:21

Yeah. I'm going to go asshole. Fuck

39:23

it. Oh,

39:26

yeah. All right. So one of my 39

39:29

male hobbies is entering raffles,

39:31

sweepstakes, radio contests, et cetera.

39:34

Call her your bergein. I've

39:37

won tickets to sporting events, concerts,

39:39

some household items, gift cards, but

39:42

never a grand prize like a car or a

39:44

vacation. You know, I won a car once. Wait,

39:46

what? But it was a fake thing. Like,

39:48

I won one of those mall giveaways, said,

39:50

you want a car? And then I had

39:52

to, like, drive 40 minutes to, like, another city,

39:54

and then it was a fucking timeshare. Oh, that's

39:57

bullshit. Oh, that's bullshit. You

40:00

said I want a car,

40:02

you lied. Is

40:05

it the same people that sold you that damn radio that

40:07

blew up your computer? Probably.

40:11

Sean's always winning shit. It is crazy.

40:14

He never actually wins anything, but he does

40:16

win. So

40:21

this is until last month when I won a

40:23

free trip for four people to Florida for five

40:25

nights. Obviously, I was super excited

40:27

and told my wife, 38, female about it right away. After

40:32

our initial excitement wore off and we were

40:34

beginning to talk about details, it became apparent

40:36

we had conflicting ideas about this trip. Before

40:39

I could even make suggestions about what I wanted

40:41

it to be, my wife brought up about how

40:43

excited her 11-year-old daughter would be

40:45

and how we could go

40:47

to Disney, SeaWorld, etc. She

40:50

then said that we can bring her mom with her, that

40:53

we can bring her mom to help watch

40:55

her daughter so that we could have some

40:57

time for ourselves. She was so

40:59

excited about it and was getting wrapped up in planning

41:01

things without even hearing what I wanted. I

41:04

told her that all of that sounds like fun,

41:06

but I was thinking that maybe we could invite

41:08

another couple and have an all-adult-only trip instead of

41:10

bringing my stepdaughter and mother-in-law with us. She

41:13

did not like my idea one bit and told

41:15

me that she wouldn't feel right about taking a

41:17

free trip like that and leaving her daughter behind.

41:20

She also said that her mother has never been to

41:22

Florida and this would be a perfect opportunity for her

41:24

to go there. We argued back

41:26

and forth a little bit before deciding to

41:29

take a break and come back before telling

41:31

anyone about it. Well that lasted about

41:33

24 hours before my wife let it

41:35

slip to our daughter that we had won a

41:37

trip. Oh! Ooh!

41:39

So of course, stepdaughter immediately got excited about

41:42

it and started looking into things she wanted

41:44

to do. I asked my wife why

41:46

she told her daughter and she said it was an

41:48

accident, which, come on, I started

41:50

a fight between us and emotions got a little

41:52

high. I told her she

41:54

was wrong to bring her daughter into this after we

41:56

agreed to wait and that I never agreed to take

41:59

our stepdaughter. or mother-in-law on this

42:01

trip. I told her that I

42:03

was the one who won the trip and she's

42:05

acting like this was something specifically for her. She

42:08

told me I was being selfish and that we should include

42:10

those closest to us in something like this, especially

42:12

when neither stepdaughter or mother-in-law have

42:14

ever been to Florida. She

42:17

said that bringing another couple and leaving her

42:19

daughter home would be cruel, especially now that

42:21

she's so excited about it. I

42:23

told her that her daughter is only excited about it

42:25

because she decided to blab to her about it instead

42:28

of waiting like we had agreed. I told

42:30

her if she wants to bring her daughter and mother-in-law, then

42:32

she can also pick someone else to go with her because

42:34

I would rather stay home by myself than

42:37

go on a vacation where I don't get to be

42:39

involved on any decisions. I said if

42:41

she wants to go that route, then she certainly can, but

42:43

I'm not paying for any of it. We

42:45

have separate finances. Now she

42:47

thinks I'm a jerk and that I should be happy

42:50

about a free family vacation. And

42:52

then a quick edit, the trip is to

42:54

Fort Myers, not Orlando. Am I

42:56

the asshole? Oh, I'm

42:58

a look personally on a

43:00

personal opinion. I wouldn't like to, if I

43:02

get a free vacation, I'm always going to

43:04

take like family with me because

43:07

that's just me. But in this scenario, this

43:10

might be a hot day. I don't think he's

43:12

an asshole at all. He

43:14

set a boundary and the wife kind

43:16

of just over ruled what he wanted.

43:18

Like it seemed like he didn't even

43:20

get any say on the situation.

43:22

And he specifically said like, hey, you

43:24

know, this is kind of what I won. This is

43:27

kind of what I visioned to it. And she

43:30

just kind of steamrolled past him and didn't even

43:32

like consult before the accidental slip

43:34

up. So yes, it would

43:36

be nice to bring like those close to you.

43:38

But it seemed like he had a specific vision

43:40

for what he wanted for the prize he won.

43:45

I'm going to have to say not the asshole for me in this

43:47

scenario. All right, John, where

43:50

are you? This one's a

43:52

tough one. Because

43:55

part of me is like, everyone

43:57

kind of fucking sucks in this story. be

44:00

honest like everyone is not good

44:03

yeah that mother-in-law is terrible yeah

44:15

cuz I look I

44:18

get having your own vision but I

44:20

feel like she's different when you have a

44:22

family right yeah I think your your

44:24

wife is probably correct on the

44:27

people that she is suggesting should

44:29

go on this trip I think

44:31

those are the people that should go on this trip

44:33

is you know what I mean again

44:35

it's up to the kid to treat you it

44:37

like a parent or not and I guess up

44:39

to no not really truly

44:41

up to you because when you married her you you

44:44

know her daughter's part of the package whether

44:46

she sees you as a father now

44:48

you have to be at least like some sort of I

44:51

don't know figure at least some take

44:54

consideration of her at the very least

44:56

so to her to do I don't even know who we're gonna

44:58

leave her with but we're gonna go with another

45:01

couple like that that

45:03

seems kind of inconsiderate but also

45:05

the wife is also a little bit inconsiderate too

45:08

I you know if he really

45:10

you know if she accidentally slipped I

45:12

guess there's a possibility that that happened bullshit

45:15

but probably not is what I'm thinking probably

45:20

not she probably just said that on purpose

45:22

to force your hand which is not great

45:25

which is not great so I don't

45:27

know I think everybody kind of sucks in this

45:29

scenario I could see both sides we were like

45:31

it's his trip you know he should decide on

45:34

who goes but also he

45:36

should be deciding on his family so that

45:38

kind of makes him an asshole too and

45:40

then she's an asshole of course for forcing the hand

45:42

or trying to at least so I

45:44

don't know I don't like anyone in here that's fair

45:46

I probably lean more with OP

45:50

strictly because of the quote unquote slip

45:52

up like yeah yeah

45:54

agreed to put the discussion aside

45:56

I was really on her side

45:59

until that And I was like,

46:01

oh, I don't like you either anymore. I was

46:03

never on her side cuz she steamrolled her way

46:05

in Yeah,

46:07

well, it's one thing to be like, oh, here's

46:09

my vision for the vacation and he'd be like,

46:11

here's my vision for the vacation She's like, you

46:14

know, I think it's completely fine to have differing

46:16

visions of what the vacation could be I

46:18

think she fucked up when she Told

46:21

the daughter before they agreed on something like

46:23

that's shitty for you to do Yeah, steamrolling

46:25

the the now he doesn't have a choice.

46:27

You know what I mean? And

46:31

I don't know maybe he doesn't want to go

46:33

on a trip with your mother-in-law with his mother-in-law

46:35

You know what I mean? But then he could

46:37

have he could have like suggested somebody else come

46:39

and watch the guy Right, but I think that's

46:41

part of the more discussion later on. Yeah, she

46:43

blew it Yeah

46:46

blew that so cuz yeah,

46:48

it's one thing to both come into that conversation

46:50

with differing views Go apart think

46:53

about it for a little bit come to a compromise

46:55

later on but that she didn't even allow that to

46:57

happen So for that reason, I think

46:59

not the asshole But

47:03

yeah, I do agree if it was

47:05

me I would probably take my family but same

47:07

everyone has different You know views

47:09

of what they want their vacation to be

47:11

and I get where she's coming from to

47:13

right like because she's also Caring about those

47:15

two specific individuals the the kid obviously you

47:17

want to create those lasting memories with your

47:19

children And then the white are the the

47:21

mom Being possibly their first

47:23

time going to Florida, of course you want to create

47:25

memories with your parents, too But I to me that's

47:28

why it was hard for me to kind of get

47:30

on her side because she kind of weaponized those right,

47:32

it's just like okay, I'm using those

47:34

reasons to like Pretty

47:36

much take over this whole shit and to

47:38

me he kind of set a boundary from the very

47:40

onset again personal experience I would definitely

47:43

take my family with me, but I could

47:45

see why he'd be upset about

47:47

like Not being able to see

47:49

what he wants to to get out

47:51

of it pretty much. Yeah All

47:54

right, so most are at a team not the

47:57

asshole well to be fair to Sean Everyone

48:00

sucks is not a usual. Technically. It's

48:03

not as common on MIT-ASL because it's a

48:05

hot and cold. Yeah. I

48:08

see where you're coming from, but most

48:10

of Reddit did not. That's fair. That's fair.

48:14

Mutual butts squeeze in said, Honestly,

48:17

I'm on OP's side. Wife did completely steamroll

48:19

him and decide for herself what the trip

48:21

would be after they agreed to discuss it

48:23

further. She deliberately told her

48:25

daughter to strong arm him into agreeing. Also,

48:27

her plan is to bring her mom as

48:29

a designated babysitter, which I also

48:32

don't like so they could have a loan time,

48:34

which was his original plan. Per the

48:36

comment, the trip isn't to Orlando, it's to

48:38

Fort Myers, which is a four hour drive

48:40

away from the kid stuff like Disney and

48:43

SeaWorld. The wife's plan would

48:45

mean they're spending a ton of time driving on multiple

48:47

days to get to places where they'll be waiting in

48:49

lines all day to do kid stuff. This

48:52

isn't a vacation, it's a hassle. Parents

48:54

are allowed to want kid-free vacations sometimes.

48:57

And then they go on to say, I also think

49:00

people tend to way overthink the daughter of her stepdaughter

49:02

stuff. My stepmom is my stepmom and I still

49:04

love her. Which I think

49:06

it's fair. In your case, there are other

49:09

cases where that's, you know, parents don't

49:11

see their stepkids as

49:13

their kids. We've read stories about that.

49:15

So yeah, every situation is different. Exactly.

49:18

So I don't know if that's a pretty

49:20

blanket statement, but I

49:27

think it's a good one. All right. Next

49:30

one here, also cross-posted by Mary gets 2011. Oh,

49:34

yeah. Repeat. Repeat.

49:37

And this one is, am I overreacting

49:39

because my husband seems to think he

49:41

funds my lifestyle. This is

49:43

going to be another situation of the, uh, your

49:46

life would be so much harder without me. I'm

49:49

thriving actually. I'd love to

49:51

stay apart. Uh,

49:54

I'll go not the asshole. Not

49:56

the asshole either. All right.

49:58

So. My husband 39 male

50:01

and I 39 female have been married

50:03

for nearly 10 years. We

50:05

have a four year old daughter. I

50:07

wrote a graphic novel and finally found a publisher

50:09

for it. I can't draw so I

50:11

paid a friend to illustrate it and another friend

50:14

to do the lettering. I paid

50:16

for the entire thing myself and

50:18

my husband did not contribute to it financially

50:20

and I did not ask him for any money. And what the

50:22

fuck is he on? I

50:24

am also in my final semester of grad school

50:27

which I also paid for myself. I did not

50:29

ask my husband for any money and I

50:31

am working part time. I am set to graduate

50:34

in May. My husband and I

50:36

were talking about my graphic novel and he

50:38

mentioned about being a silent investor. When

50:41

I asked him what that meant he

50:43

mentioned contributing to its completion. I

50:48

told him that I paid for the entire thing myself and

50:50

that I never even asked him for money. He

50:52

said, well yeah, I keep a roof over your head. I

50:56

was extremely upset but it's true that he does make

50:58

more money than I do and that

51:00

he covers the bulk of the household expenses. But

51:03

I felt like he was belittling me and applying

51:05

that my graphic novel was just a silly pipe

51:07

dream. When I got upset he

51:09

apologized then tried to backpedal and said that

51:11

he was joking. I'm still

51:13

really angry though. I've been working

51:15

on this graphic novel for over a decade. I'm

51:17

set to graduate cum laude in May. Yeah,

51:20

cum. I was magna cum. I don't even know what

51:22

that means. I think

51:25

Suma is like the highest magna

51:27

is like middle.

51:34

And cum is the loudest bear magna I guess. And

51:38

y'all know me, I wasn't coming. Oh. Cat,

51:42

boy baby. Cat.

51:46

I've been applying to full time positions and

51:49

have an appointment with my school's career center

51:51

to review my resume. I do

51:53

the bulk of the housework and childcare. Hell,

51:55

when he forgets his mother flowers

51:57

and birthday card, I did it. I'm

52:00

really angry that he seems to think he's funding

52:02

a frivolous lifestyle for me when I've covered two

52:05

of my own major expenses in a

52:07

brackets graphic novel and grad school

52:10

and when I make sure our house is livable and

52:12

our toddler is fed and clothed. My

52:14

entire life people have told me that I'm too sensitive and

52:16

I need to lighten up and learn how to take a

52:18

joke, but I really don't feel like it

52:20

was a joke and I'm angry about it. It

52:23

feels like he's really downplaying all my hard work

52:25

and not taking me seriously. Should I

52:28

just let this go or should I talk to him again? You

52:31

should always talk to your communication is key. Yeah,

52:34

that's an easy one. I guess

52:36

overreacting, am I overreacting is the

52:38

question. I've

52:41

said this before, but hard to

52:44

say if your feelings

52:46

are overreacting without fully communicating it to

52:49

him. I

52:51

think this definitely warrants a conversation. It's

52:55

like he was just joking, but

52:57

who knows? He could be for

52:59

real trying to take credit, which obviously would

53:02

be a stupid thing to take credit for. Can

53:05

I hop in here for a second? With

53:08

the joking thing, a silent

53:11

investor has positive connotations. He's

53:13

like, oh yeah, I'm happy to support you.

53:18

In my opinion, it didn't feel like he

53:20

was trying to take all the credit or

53:22

I don't know. In

53:25

my opinion, anyway, it felt like a joke. Support

53:28

of husband or something like that. I

53:33

make the same joke sometimes too. When

53:35

Juliet, all her damn accomplishments, that's all her.

53:37

Sometimes it'd be going up to her and

53:39

be like, hell yeah, I bought it and

53:42

I invested in that shit. I'm

53:44

going to reap off the rewards when you

53:46

ball in and stuff like that. To

53:50

me too, the husband, when he

53:53

got confronted about it, he seemed apologetic

53:55

about it. Had the husband doubled down

53:57

in this situation, be like, well, yeah, I fucking do all

53:59

this shit. I mean, yes, he did say

54:01

like yeah put a roof over your head, which is

54:03

something that partners should be supporting each other regardless But

54:06

he didn't he didn't seem like to

54:08

keep sticking it to her in that certain way

54:10

So I had also got a

54:13

feeling that maybe it was just like

54:15

a jokey joke that was Kind

54:17

of taken a little further. I just

54:19

wish he talked to him about it a little bit more

54:22

Yeah, yeah, cuz I think you you have a

54:24

right to feel a certain way about it But

54:26

yeah, of course talk to him and be like

54:28

hey It felt like you were like

54:31

sliding my work or feeling like you were taking credit

54:33

for it And he could because that's not

54:35

what you said to him And

54:37

and then he could be like well, no, that's not

54:39

like I meant like I support you or something Yeah,

54:41

that could be what he meant true. I was like

54:43

your cheerleader this whole time like I was being yeah,

54:45

you know I mean, so yeah Do

54:48

I think she overreacted? I wouldn't say

54:50

that I think her feelings are valid

54:53

because yeah, it's hard it's

54:55

hard to to accomplish those big accomplishments

54:57

and sometimes, you know when people like

55:00

Say certain things and it's like, okay Are

55:02

you like devaluating like the or devaluing like

55:04

the hard work that I did? Yeah, sure

55:06

I could see where the feelings can get

55:08

to that but talk first and

55:10

and really validate like what that really meant

55:12

before Going I think you should have posted

55:14

on reddit Well,

55:17

I guess in the way a good way to talk

55:19

like right through your problems on reddit I mean she's

55:21

a writer too. So like yeah that possibly a release

55:23

for her as well Yeah, exactly

55:25

like here's the thing.

55:27

I don't think you overreacted because truthfully you

55:29

didn't really react You were just angry and

55:32

kind of sounds like you're stewing on it right now, which

55:34

is not healthy. Yeah But

55:36

yeah, I don't know like as a podcaster.

55:38

This is like Honestly, I

55:40

understand where she's coming from like as an author

55:43

or something like that You feel a

55:45

type of way sometimes when people are like, oh,

55:47

what do you do? And I'm like, you know podcast

55:49

and they're like, oh Oh, oh,

55:52

it's like that. Oh had a

55:54

bit of you know judgment behind it.

55:56

Yeah, it feels like A

56:00

lot of creative stuff is

56:02

like, you know, not like the

56:04

traditional like, oh, I'm a fucking account

56:07

manager or an account executive or something like

56:09

that. But if you say something like, oh,

56:11

I'm an artist, like I'm a painter, this

56:13

and that, for some

56:15

reason, anything creative for me always tends to

56:18

get some sort of frowned

56:20

upon, which is wild because you

56:22

need these types of avenues for the world

56:24

to fucking function at some point. Yeah.

56:27

I mean, I'm not really this like, this is a bit of

56:29

a meta question for you guys, but I had

56:31

this early on when this was like,

56:34

I started doing this full time, which

56:36

I guess is a little different for you guys because it's like a part

56:38

time thing still. But because of

56:41

my full time job and I was telling people about

56:43

it, like family and stuff, they're like, the first question

56:45

was always, oh, you can make money doing that? Okay.

56:48

I mean, yeah. Did

56:52

you guys have that experience or have you had that

56:54

experience? Yeah, I don't know. Because I don't really tell

56:57

any mostly as people being like, oh,

57:00

I saw you on it. I'm not

57:02

ever really talking about it. And

57:04

also, I just don't have a lot of family close

57:07

by, like adults asking

57:09

me what I'm up to and things like that. So

57:11

I mean, when people come up to me, they're

57:14

mostly like, oh man, you guys must be doing

57:16

really well because I see you all over my

57:18

social media. I'm like, yeah, we're doing

57:20

pretty all right. Like enough to support one

57:22

of us, which is great. We

57:25

talk like that. But yeah, nobody, I

57:27

guess because it's mostly like people my

57:30

age or being like, oh, like

57:32

they already know that they understand

57:34

that the money, like the internet

57:37

is a valid job. Yeah. Content.

57:39

It's like, oh, you're on tic tac or

57:41

whatever. They pay you

57:44

on that? Well, actually, no,

57:46

unfortunately, no, actually unfortunately, no.

57:49

Damn it. Yeah. Yeah.

57:53

Sometimes like for American account.

57:55

Sorry. We have one. We

57:58

haven't posted it. We haven't posted it. Yeah,

58:00

sometimes of course it's like thing too

58:02

because like I full

58:04

transparency like and my mom hears this too

58:06

like I help

58:09

out my mom in certain aspects and like you know

58:11

because of the show and like the generosity

58:13

of like our fans like I'm able to support her

58:15

in some way so Sometimes she's

58:18

like hey, why are you giving me this

58:20

much? I'm like, well, you know, it was a good

58:22

luck So like I want to share like the wealth

58:24

with you too and help you out. So Of

58:27

course, sometimes she gets weirded out by it. She's like, well,

58:29

what the fuck like how you know, but Have

58:36

another wild story for that Technically

58:41

no, no, no, no, no save it for the patreon

58:43

save it for the pay today a Tuesday episode But

58:49

yeah, so like sometimes it's a little my mom gets

58:52

a little weirded out by it But it's just like,

58:54

you know, it's it's a viable income for a lot

58:56

of people and and you know Influencers

58:58

and like all this shit it gets frowned upon.

59:00

But you know what a lot of times it's

59:02

a Media is ever evolving

59:04

right and back then it's just like all

59:07

of it is TV or radio But now

59:09

we have like so much different avenues and

59:11

I fucking love when people say like I

59:13

Josh to be honest I am so jealous

59:15

of your life brother I'm like if I

59:17

could do this shit full-time and not have

59:20

to fucking hear a zoom meeting calling me

59:22

a fucking 730 in a Morning, I would

59:24

probably wake up happier every day So I

59:26

mean I always encourage people to get as creative as much

59:29

as possible and you can make money out of it more

59:31

Power to you and I want that for us. So Okay,

59:35

that was just a question I wanted to pose to you guys You

59:39

know because I feel this relates a little bit to

59:41

our lives as well. Yeah. Yeah Sakura

59:44

peachy said I mean looking at this

59:46

another way I have a side

59:48

hobby that I hope sometime in the future will make

59:50

me money I'm definitely going to thank

59:52

my wife for her support even if she didn't contribute a

59:54

single dollar It literally would not

59:56

be possible without her partner support

59:58

in any different way And if

1:00:01

a person's partner doesn't, then

1:00:03

that's a whole bigger issue. That's what

1:00:05

I was thinking of too low-key. I'm

1:00:08

not saying don't sign prenups. I think prenups are solid.

1:00:10

In fact, me and Nancy want to get a postnup.

1:00:13

But whenever people divorce

1:00:15

and there's no prenup

1:00:18

and then let's say Jeff

1:00:20

Bezos as an example, people are like, Oh,

1:00:22

what did she do to deserve it? And

1:00:24

I'm like, actually, probably a fuckload. Probably more

1:00:26

than you will ever fucking know. So

1:00:28

partners really do... I had to marry Jeff Bezos.

1:00:30

That's not enough? Yeah. So

1:00:33

it's just like, yeah, you truly...

1:00:35

I mean, OP would know what

1:00:37

the husband has contributed, but other

1:00:40

people like, Nancy sacrifices

1:00:43

just as much being

1:00:46

married to a podcaster as I do

1:00:48

being the podcaster. You know what I

1:00:50

mean? Yeah. And

1:00:53

you also have huge... Are

1:00:56

huge helps in any creative endeavor. Yeah.

1:00:59

For almost any job too. Just the

1:01:01

support of your partner in whatever job you are. Yeah.

1:01:05

I'll go out of tangent with this one.

1:01:07

Every single promotions I've had in the military,

1:01:10

the first person I thanked was Julia. I'm

1:01:12

just like, okay. I would

1:01:14

say military spouse is a harder job

1:01:16

than actually being in the military itself

1:01:18

because they have to uproot every single...

1:01:22

Being in active during that time, we had order.

1:01:24

We had structure. This is what your mission is.

1:01:26

This is what you gotta accomplish day in and

1:01:28

day out. For them, it's just like,

1:01:30

we don't know where you're gonna be in six months.

1:01:32

So you gotta uproot everything that you know and everything

1:01:34

that you're familiar with and get situated. And

1:01:36

most likely, they don't have a community. They

1:01:39

don't have this. They're on an island

1:01:41

of their own. Meanwhile, we got our own shit going

1:01:43

on. So I always like to... I

1:01:46

always think partners always have some

1:01:48

sort of contribution. It doesn't have

1:01:50

to be monetarily support or just

1:01:52

being there for you to vent.

1:01:55

That's a huge support enough as it is. Yeah,

1:01:57

100%. All right. Moving

1:02:01

on to the final story. Oof.

1:02:04

To the con story baby. Let's go to the west

1:02:06

baby. No, that's on Patreon. I know. I'm

1:02:09

excited for that. So sign up

1:02:11

for that shit people. Because I'm

1:02:13

excited. And this one

1:02:15

once again by Mary Gets 2011. A

1:02:18

quadruple. Yeah. Quad.

1:02:21

Quad. Caitlyn Clark type.

1:02:25

And trigger warning for this one before we get

1:02:27

into it for spousal abuse. So if

1:02:29

that's not what you want to hear and

1:02:32

you're a patron, you get the fun

1:02:34

wet story that Jon's excited for. So you can skip ahead

1:02:36

to that if you don't want to listen to this one.

1:02:40

For everyone else, we'll see you on Monday. Be

1:02:42

sick if we could also skip these ones. Who's

1:02:45

gonna say something about it? Be

1:02:48

pretty sick. This one is would

1:02:51

I be the asshole for considering divorce

1:02:53

after my postpartum wife physically lashed

1:02:55

out at me? Oh, this

1:02:57

is similar to the coffee one.

1:03:00

So I think you're physically abused.

1:03:02

I think that's... You're more than welcome

1:03:04

to do what you need to do. A valid reason.

1:03:07

Yeah. Considering divorce is always a

1:03:09

valid reason if you feel like it. Yeah.

1:03:12

Threatened in any capacity whatsoever. Yeah.

1:03:15

Alright. So I, 30

1:03:17

male, have been married to my wife, 28 female for 2 years. And

1:03:21

we've been together for 5 years. My

1:03:23

wife gave birth to a baby a few months ago.

1:03:26

Over the past couple of months, my wife has

1:03:28

been having suspicions that I'm having an affair with

1:03:30

my coworker, 26 female who's on

1:03:33

my team. I've reassured her many

1:03:35

times that there's nothing going on between us. My

1:03:38

wife has full access to my phone,

1:03:40

all text messages, everything. She

1:03:42

always suspects that whenever I come home

1:03:44

late from work, I am cheating with

1:03:46

my coworker, which I am not because

1:03:49

I am actually at the office working late. I

1:03:52

constantly update my wife from the office, text

1:03:54

her photos to try and convince her I'm

1:03:56

actually working and not cheating. It's

1:04:00

shitty that you're working late when you just had a baby. But,

1:04:02

yeah. I'm American and

1:04:05

I don't have paternity leave. We

1:04:07

talked about the paternity leave. Fuck

1:04:10

corporations. Yeah, 100%. This

1:04:12

is America. So yesterday was another

1:04:14

one of those days where I had to stay late at

1:04:17

work. Work that day was extremely

1:04:19

stressful and I really wanted to get done quickly so

1:04:21

I could go home. I

1:04:23

forgot to update my wife that I was going to

1:04:25

be coming home late and did not send her any

1:04:27

text messages. When I did come

1:04:29

home, my wife started freaking out, accusing me

1:04:31

of cheating. She was sobbing

1:04:33

really heavily and when I went to hug

1:04:35

her, she slapped me really hard. She slapped

1:04:38

me so hard that I inadvertently started

1:04:40

crying and she immediately apologized a lot

1:04:42

after that. I slept on

1:04:44

the couch that night and had been pondering whether

1:04:46

to seriously proceed with a divorce. I

1:04:49

never thought this would happen. I love my wife so

1:04:51

much, I just don't get it. So

1:04:53

am I the asshole? Probably

1:04:57

not, right? I mean it's pretty

1:05:00

similar to the coffee pot one.

1:05:05

It sucks it's a newborn. There's

1:05:08

a newborn in the equation. Postpartum

1:05:10

situation but like we've seen in comments

1:05:13

in situations like that, that's not

1:05:15

really an excuse to act

1:05:18

out. It's probably

1:05:21

okay to have those thoughts. Everybody

1:05:23

has those thoughts. Everybody

1:05:26

has those days. It reminds me of Scrubs whenever

1:05:28

Carla first had a baby and she was like,

1:05:30

sometimes I think about throwing

1:05:32

this baby out of the window. He was like, oh

1:05:34

my God. He

1:05:37

hugged her and he was like, that's okay. But in

1:05:39

his mind he was like, oh dear God. But

1:05:43

yeah, so like postpartum, I mean I can't

1:05:46

even begin to imagine what that does to

1:05:48

your hormones. But we've seen tons of comments

1:05:50

where again everybody's situation is

1:05:52

different but it just

1:05:54

seems like there should never be

1:05:57

a good reason for physical violence.

1:06:00

I'm also like sympathetic over OP too

1:06:02

because he's probably not only exhausted from

1:06:04

work But from trying to like for

1:06:06

more all the time 24-7 constant Yeah,

1:06:10

the constant reassurance of like hey, I'm not

1:06:12

cheating on you I'm legit at work like

1:06:14

you know having to take pictures at every

1:06:16

single time you might as well have your

1:06:18

damn location turned on at that point so

1:06:20

I Think it's

1:06:23

probably probably before all of all of

1:06:25

this. Yeah, that location is definitely turned

1:06:27

on He has the same photos of

1:06:29

where he is at every minute

1:06:33

Pictures is crazy, especially if she already

1:06:35

has like access to your phones Like

1:06:37

she could see you're sending out work emails or

1:06:39

fucking teams messages or some

1:06:42

shit like that. Yeah Yeah, you

1:06:44

truly you're at work So

1:06:46

yeah, that's exhausting to be that hiring.

1:06:48

It seems like she has

1:06:51

a set of issues like of her

1:06:53

own Not only like postpartum, but maybe

1:06:55

even before that she has some sort

1:06:57

of insecurity issues and we always tell

1:06:59

people You know if they're adults That's

1:07:01

got to be on their own to figure that shit

1:07:03

out to like, you know get themselves checked or like

1:07:05

get themselves some help She seems

1:07:07

like she does quite a bit. Yeah Yeah,

1:07:11

I don't think asshole in this situation.

1:07:13

I will say like I understand She's

1:07:17

probably going through it as well. That's all you like for

1:07:19

sure newborn Husband

1:07:21

working late quite often that's

1:07:24

shitty. That's a shitty spot to be in as well Of

1:07:27

course, but never a reason for violence

1:07:29

if he did cheat sure a slap in the face Absolutely

1:07:32

justified worse. Yeah Well,

1:07:35

I wouldn't go that far Cross

1:07:40

your bitch now motherfucker But

1:07:43

yeah like so I understand her,

1:07:46

you know stress and You

1:07:49

know feeling a type of way so

1:07:52

I get that but yeah not Not

1:07:54

a call for violence if You

1:07:57

know, she doesn't really have anything to prove that he

1:07:59

is cheating. Anything like that.

1:08:01

So. I guess an idler. same

1:08:03

post partum a never been through. This is so

1:08:05

there is a common here that goes into a

1:08:07

bit more detail. Ah, that that would shed some

1:08:09

light. Spiral. The one three,

1:08:11

four five said though you'll see this comment

1:08:13

in the flood of comments, but I went

1:08:15

through the exact same thing. About.

1:08:18

Two months after my child was born,

1:08:20

my wife was not herself, super paranoid,

1:08:22

not sleeping. Very angry at the drop

1:08:24

of a hat. Excedrin. When. I

1:08:26

tried to go to the hospital. she hit me the same

1:08:28

way. I. Had already done some

1:08:30

research at this point and was about

1:08:32

one hundred percent sure she was going

1:08:34

through postpartum psychosis. I didn't

1:08:36

take it personally and forced her to the

1:08:39

hospital. When. I say forced. I don't

1:08:41

mean physically. I put up with the abuse

1:08:43

and got her in the car in one of her com

1:08:45

are moments. When. We get to the hospital.

1:08:47

I was right and she spent two weeks in the

1:08:49

hospital and was on medicine when she came out. But.

1:08:52

We are now ten months post birth and

1:08:54

she's a hundred percent back to normal in

1:08:56

our relationship is back to being rock solid.

1:08:58

Oh okay, get your way. it's help First

1:09:00

make her she is okay. And don't they

1:09:03

take anything personally. I don't know

1:09:05

how your relationship was before the baby, but honestly

1:09:07

it doesn't matter. She. Is the mother

1:09:09

of your child and she is suffering. She could be

1:09:11

a danger to the baby as well. I.

1:09:13

Had some pretty dark thoughts during this time. divorce

1:09:16

was have thought about a lot. But.

1:09:18

It's not the right answer the time you're in. I'm

1:09:20

so glad I got my wife back and that sounds

1:09:22

like you need to do the same thing. Is.

1:09:25

There are still problems later than that, the decision

1:09:27

for you to make, but it's best to make

1:09:29

sure she's okay First, So. This

1:09:31

is a prime example of us as being

1:09:33

out of our scope. None of us as

1:09:36

ah well I play like cook. Really

1:09:39

questioned Dell Like did they say

1:09:41

something about like the the insecurities

1:09:43

or happening even before the. The.

1:09:45

Pregnancy. Know. Said it started

1:09:48

like a few months after the birth. Of

1:09:50

them as how they months. My wife and I

1:09:52

had policy since. The. goodbye be a

1:09:55

reason were based on what that comments or put

1:09:57

against know what's on said were just dumb asses

1:09:59

and when at present with information that's pretty

1:10:01

valid, we are very quick to change

1:10:04

their stance on things. Yeah. Like I didn't

1:10:06

even know that the psychosis thing was a

1:10:08

thing. Me neither. I just knew that it

1:10:10

was part of depression, which was probably playing

1:10:12

a factor into what was happening. But

1:10:15

yeah, I didn't even know psychosis was a thing

1:10:17

there. Same. Yeah. I mean, I will say like

1:10:20

abuse sucks and it sucks that, you

1:10:23

know... You have to endure it. You have to like,

1:10:25

oh yeah, it's terrible to be like you should endure

1:10:27

this. I mean, I guess if

1:10:29

you want a divorce, you can, but it sounds like for

1:10:31

the better, for the health of your

1:10:33

baby and your relationship, you know,

1:10:35

getting a wife into the hospital is probably the

1:10:37

better scenario. But it

1:10:40

does feel weird being like, yeah, just endure the abuse

1:10:42

for a little bit until you can get your wife

1:10:44

to a hospital. That's a tough one

1:10:46

to stomach for me, to be honest. But

1:10:48

I get it. And it's a good comment.

1:10:51

All right. That is it for this

1:10:53

episode. What did you think, Wikimaniacs? Were

1:10:55

these people assholes? Let us know down

1:10:57

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1:11:28

and John, for coming on and giving your takes.

1:11:30

Thank you, Wikimaniacs, for another amazing episode. We'll

1:11:32

see you on Monday. Bye. Later. It's

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