ReDiscover You: Creating confidence, stepping out from shyness, expanding your world and finding love when you’re starting over. 

When it comes to dating, resilience is one of your most important tools. Resilience is defined as your ability to bounce back in the face of adversity. 

Being resilient doesn’t mean you won’t face challenges. Instead, it means that you will be able to see your way through them. It isn’t something you are either born with or not. You can improve your ability to bounce back, and that’s where we’ll pick up today. 

My story

Early on, I struggled with the feeling that I wouldn’t be a good dating candidate to the kind of person I was hoping to meet. As I began filling out my first online dating profile, it struck me that I wasn’t making the money I once was. I let this begin to undermine my confidence. 

How could I measure up to those other guys out here making all the big bucks? Why would anyone want to date me? This was the question I began asking myself over and over as I beat myself up over this. 

Focusing on the negatives turned my attention from the bigger picture. I was no longer seeing my positives because I had put focus on my negatives. As I began writing and researching my book, I found I wasn’t alone. 

Comparisonitis

At times, we all compare ourselves to the world around us. It’s human nature. Deep inside, most of us are afraid we aren’t enough. We don’t really want anyone else to know that we feel this way about ourselves, and we often think these feelings are unique to us. So we keep quiet. 

While we are keeping quiet, we are also looking around to the outside world for a frame of reference. While some people can use comparison as a healthy way to improve themselves, Others struggle with it, and it can shut them down. Which one are you?

It's easy to think “I’m not as good looking” as them, or as social. I don’t have the income, the fancy car, or whatever you find yourself comparing. It’s easy to get caught up spending far too much time focusing on what is wrong with me, and not enough on what is great about who God made me.  

If you can’t find value in yourself, you won’t see why anyone would want to be with you. This can keep you from bouncing back. You’ll go out less, pursue less often, and are more likely to settle into poor quality relationships

 So, how do I get past these feelings so I can more easily bounce back?
Join us today to unlock your dating resilience!

Today’s Podcast is sponsored by ReDiscover Dating: What’s Keeping You From Getting Back Out There? The book, available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited, is a step-by-step guide to help you rebuild your confidence, recreate your social life, and find love again.

"Comparison is the thief of joy"-Theodore Roosevelt