0:04

I Said natl , come a team from love city of

0:06

Atlanta , georgia , going out to the rainy

0:08

city , which I Know . But

0:10

now that rena getting in LA is not

0:12

gonna be as bad , I don't feel bad that

0:14

you guys are getting Welcome to the

0:17

rest of the country . You know , like United

0:22

States of America , ladies and gentlemen

0:24

, for people in Cali , you know , I

0:26

think that little rain , you know

0:29

, maybe to make y'all feel like you belong

0:31

, because I know it being in Cali , being out there on the west

0:33

coast and everything Is so gravy all the time

0:35

. Like you guys , are living your privileged life , that

0:37

you don't know what it's like here for the rest of us . And now

0:39

you got some rain and everything . Hopefully

0:41

it's not too crazy . How do you , how's

0:43

it going there for you to know ?

0:45

So you're saying , right , you know , this is our punishment or

0:47

something I don't . I just feel like you guys

0:49

Wake up call here .

0:51

You're in the United States of America and I don't feel like you guys

0:53

have had that we call in years and it's been

0:55

gonna bring us into the fold now , like we've been outliers

0:57

for so long . Welcome to the country . Yeah

1:00

, that's . All it took was a little rain to

1:03

get you here . I .

1:04

Don't like this . I don't want to be here anymore .

1:07

Well , how long is that gonna last

1:09

for you guys ? I think I mean , maybe you guys get maybe

1:11

24 hours of it . Are you gonna move ?

1:18

We went to a tropical storm . Now it's still serious

1:20

.

1:22

Oh my god . Well , hopefully everything

1:24

will be alright for the nail out there . You know , we did

1:26

an episode here where we were discussing Kind

1:28

of some dating topics and I wanted to kind of piggyback

1:30

off that episode because I had a conversation

1:33

with some friends A while

1:35

back ago and they were talking

1:37

we were just talking about just dating , people's

1:39

dating preferences and stuff like that , and

1:41

One of the things we brought up was

1:43

is it racist , like not to date another

1:46

, a specific race , not , not

1:48

this , no other race ? You know , date to

1:50

date , to not date a specific races ? And

1:52

I Personally

1:54

didn't think so , because I think that your preferences

1:56

are your preferences . I think everybody's got them

1:58

like . Sometimes it's race in terms of different things

2:00

. So we'll go down a few different things here . We're we'll

2:03

kind of talk about a race or a

2:05

official standpoint or if it's just a preference

2:07

standpoint . And since we are starting

2:09

there on that , because

2:11

you know , I read statistically and I'm not

2:14

sure if this is still true to know that black women

2:16

in particular , or the least likely

2:18

to date other races is , is

2:20

black women For one

2:22

. Has that been your , your

2:24

case and do you is it ? Is

2:26

it wide open the nails and they're

2:28

like welcome one , welcome all . That's how

2:30

my , as I am , it's wide open over here opportunity

2:32

. I'm

2:35

like the employment stuff you build out . That's my dating

2:37

life as well .

2:42

I Would like to say that I am

2:44

the same , but , yes , I do

2:46

have a preference . I prefer black men in general , just

2:49

because I feel like there's a lot of experiences

2:51

that I have that I . It would be easier

2:53

to for them to relate to . But

2:56

no , am I limiting myself ? No , not at all . It's like

2:58

it's a preference on a requirement , and I think

3:00

that's what people interesting have an issue distinction

3:03

. Yeah , because some people require their

3:05

specific other to be this way . And then what

3:07

happens ? You do like a DNA test . They find out that's

3:09

not them .

3:10

Then you're gonna leave them . You

3:12

gotta leave . Like bro , you were just light skinned you were

3:14

. You weren't even like , you weren't even black . We found out later on

3:17

and it was just you were just like a little bit darker , but

3:19

but you were not black . So now is that

3:21

a situation that cause for concern , my cause

3:23

for leaving that individuals with your site ?

3:25

Yeah , if you find out that that person doesn't have that quality

3:28

or that that Nationality or whatever

3:30

that was anymore , would you ? Would you leave

3:32

them ? Would you be like bye , I don't want you anymore

3:34

. That's . I feel that it borderlines

3:37

on no , it is an issue at

3:39

that point .

3:41

Okay , so then we Will

3:43

discuss that a little bit and then I was gonna list I'm like a whole

3:45

list here and we'll just go down the list to see if you

3:47

feel it's superficial or you feel like

3:49

such preference which I feel like spoiler

3:52

alert that most of these are just preferences only because I

3:54

believe that a lot of times

3:56

, when it comes to decisions

3:59

that people make in their life to know there

4:01

are very few decisions you can make your life like

4:04

who you're gonna be with , it's almost like totally

4:06

your decision . You're picking that person , you're

4:08

picking to be with that person . You know

4:10

, when it comes to like where you live and stuff like

4:12

that , sometimes that depends on where you were born , you're

4:14

socio-economic status . You know what

4:16

I mean . You can't always just pick up and

4:18

go and be exactly where you want to be , but

4:21

at least you can be with the person you want to be

4:23

with . You know , if nothing else , bearman

4:26

, I really believe that going

4:29

across . So , when it comes to like the

4:31

race situation and the way that you explained

4:33

it , that's kind of where I was getting at

4:35

in a sense of people just have their preferences

4:37

like for whatever reason it , and I , like that

4:40

you made did make the distinction there between Kind

4:43

of like a necessity versus like a preference , because

4:46

some people have that necessity . And

4:48

do you find that from your list of because

4:50

some people call these like I guess not , not

4:53

really red flags or really want your deal breakers

4:55

that's , that's the world looking for some people have like a

4:57

list of deal breakers . So , before we finish

4:59

on this list , so do

5:01

you find that that is Beneficial

5:05

for a person to have , because some people like I don't want to lower

5:07

my standard ever ? You heard that statement right . Yeah

5:09

, when , when people are not a list that has like a million

5:11

things on it , they say , well , I have standards and I just don't

5:13

want to lower my standards and go for anything out here

5:15

. Do you , where

5:18

do you stand on a hard list

5:20

of deal breakers ? That's

5:24

hard , there's gotta be something on there .

5:28

No , I do feel like , yes , you should have standards

5:30

, but I also feel like

5:32

there should be some kind of flexibility

5:34

with certain things . Everybody

5:36

has their non-negotiables like I cannot

5:38

live without this , like I need this

5:40

, this kind of thing , this kind of no

5:42

in my life , whatever . So I get that

5:45

. But I feel like when you're so immovable

5:47

, where you just like and Eliminated

5:49

a whole subsection of the population

5:52

, it's a bit weird . It's a bit weird because

5:54

you're also not allowing , you're

5:56

putting people in a box and Not

5:59

allowing for any movement outside of that . People

6:02

change , people grow , people do different things . So

6:04

I feel like that's that's . You might need

6:06

somebody who doesn't have all your , your

6:08

boxes checked and you

6:11

can help them get that last box . Or , if

6:14

they do have all those boxes , what happens if they lose one of

6:16

those boxes in them , process of you , you being with them ? So

6:19

say , like you needed , like he is , needs to be at a

6:21

certain income and he loses

6:23

a job you know , lose him to like

6:25

, like how

6:27

, how rigid are you with these things ? I think that's

6:30

what really matters , not not necessarily that you have a standard

6:32

. It's just is your standard

6:34

, is your standard flexible as it moved , as

6:36

it grows to change with time .

6:38

Do you have ? Did you have a list of deal breakers

6:40

yourself ? And I know it's . There's got to be something on that

6:43

list . And now I know there's at least one thing you

6:45

got to have on a list of bill .

6:47

Um , yes , I

6:50

would say , yes , I have my own list of deal

6:52

break , because I do want somebody who is financially

6:54

stable or able to do that , because I look as man

6:56

is being the head of our household , a leader , and if

6:58

you can't manage his finances , how can he manage me or anything

7:01

else that we do ?

7:02

That's something that is at a certain dollar

7:04

amount , I'm coming in . If I'm coming in in a strong

7:07

35k a year and I and

7:09

, but I manage my 35k Is there because you know

7:11

some women like yo , he needs six figures , somebody , some

7:13

women , some women in your mind , and now they

7:15

have , like specific dollar amount no

7:18

, no , definitely . Is that so

7:20

? Is that superficial , or is that a preference

7:22

, or is that superficial ?

7:25

Well , I think that depends too , because did you

7:27

meet me , knowing that I am at

7:29

this certain level ? I or I'm

7:31

a certain I require a certain level

7:33

of maintenance , and if you can't sustain

7:36

that maintenance , why are you even talking to me ?

7:38

Goodness gracious it like a car . What kind of maintenance

7:41

are we talking about ?

7:45

Relationships , looking for a baddie , looking

7:47

for a girl to be a certain way and that with

7:49

that certain look or preference , it

7:51

comes with An expenditure

7:53

, like it's costly . It's like you

7:55

, you have your job , you have to get different certifications

7:58

and all kind of stuff to get to maintain the

8:00

job that you have . So why wouldn't your relationship

8:03

be the same way ? And if you met her at

8:05

a certain level and you knew , like you

8:07

could tell this girl expensive , it's not that she just

8:09

surprised you with it . Like she came out of the woodworks

8:11

like I want to leave the time , I want you to , I want

8:13

spa days , all kind of stuff . No , normally those women

8:15

are up front about what they need and what they

8:17

want . So if you approach her at your 30k

8:20

talking about you gonna , you know , gotta tick me , as I am

8:22

. No , sir , move on . 30k

8:27

has Other things attached to

8:29

it , like he's got , like it's my 30k , it's

8:31

my regular salary . But I have a side also where I'm doing

8:33

this or whatever , or I'm trying to grow this or I'm

8:35

you have a plan in and that

8:38

you're actually working towards that I could see like how this is what

8:40

he's going for . Fine with it , do

8:42

you ? Like it doesn't matter to me . I

8:44

I'm working and having my own anyway . Um

8:47

, but then it just . I

8:49

guess it gets down to like , if we're gonna be paying

8:51

for things and taking care of stuff

8:53

, like who's gonna be bearing the brunt of that ? I

8:56

personally feel like some things aren't gonna be 50-50

8:58

. Like whoever's making more is gonna have to

9:00

be putting in a little bit more . It's like why would you wanna

9:02

downplay or like , basically

9:05

, why would you wanna make

9:08

it harder for your partner to be with you because you want

9:10

50-50 ? That's

9:12

interesting .

9:13

That's interesting , because I think that I don't think that's

9:15

. I mean , I don't all the

9:17

way think that's unfair only because people , if

9:20

you're used to a certain lifestyle , should

9:22

you have to go down in that lifestyle to

9:25

be with a certain individual ? I don't think that

9:27

a lot of people are yeah yeah , I mean , you know

9:29

it's different when you meet somebody

9:31

. at a certain point y'all are coming up together , but

9:33

it's very but , I think once people are established

9:36

and they're used to certain things maybe

9:38

they're used to vacations , maybe they're used to a certain

9:40

kind of lifestyle they've already provided for themselves

9:42

then why would you take a step down for

9:45

somebody else ? I do think that that is it , not

9:48

that's it , but I do think that that's fair . I should say

9:50

you know that particular requirement is

9:52

fair . But I don't think where I think it's kind of crazy

9:54

is when it's way more than what the person

9:57

is providing themselves . So

9:59

that means , let's say , you're at a 30K person and

10:01

you want a person that's making like $150,000

10:04

, but you're making like 30 , 40 yourself , you

10:07

know , then I think , like you're just looking for somebody to kind

10:09

of take care of you , to a certain degree Right

10:11

, I come up and I don't necessarily

10:14

. I've never dated

10:16

women like that . Personally , I

10:18

don't want somebody that

10:21

I have to like write off on my taxes like can I

10:23

claim you ?

10:24

You know what I mean , you know what .

10:25

I mean , you know what I mean ? I depend it . No

10:28

, I don't want to depend , and it's weird . It's weird Because I

10:30

feel like , just from relationship standpoint in general , I

10:32

think the best ones are based on 50-50 effort

10:34

50-50 effort .

10:36

I like that 50-50 effort .

10:37

Mental effort is not always money

10:39

effort , because I think you're right , if a person is

10:42

one person is making more , the other person can make that

10:44

up in other ways . So

10:46

I think a 50-50 mental effort into making

10:48

that relationship work I think

10:50

is not an unfair

10:52

situation . Now , one of the things you said before was having

10:55

a we're talking about the

10:57

list is having a list that

10:59

eliminates a certain portion of

11:02

the population . So is

11:04

there a certain percentage like

11:07

that becomes a red flag on somebody's

11:09

deal breaker list , like you have a deal breaker

11:11

that eliminates like 80% . Now I

11:13

can tell you what one of those deal breakers would be . If

11:15

somebody says I want somebody who makes six figures

11:18

, you've just eliminated a good

11:20

percentage of the population With

11:22

just that one . With just that one would

11:25

you have a good percentage of the population . Just that one

11:27

deal breaker . You've eliminated a good percentage

11:29

of the population at that point . And then that

11:31

percentage of the population has a lot of options

11:34

, so a lot of people feel

11:36

like to know they fit into those options , wouldn't

11:38

?

11:38

you think it's gonna be , don't .

11:40

It's gonna be some wake

11:42

up calls there . You know what I mean . If

11:44

they keep pursuing that line . There's

11:47

a lot of people who are vying for that . Is

11:49

there a certain percentage of the population that you feel

11:51

like is kind of like restrictive , like

11:54

yo , you can have it , because

11:56

we can all have our preferences , but is

11:58

there a certain amount of like realistic realism

12:00

that we kind of have to interject into these things

12:02

so that you have a realistic

12:04

proposition of finding somebody ? Or

12:06

do you wait till you're like a hundred and

12:09

then you know , maybe you get a hundred .

12:10

I mean somebody's finding them . They're not

12:12

getting these things out of nowhere . You know

12:14

it's something , it's coming from something , so the

12:16

people that are around , I think it's the internet right , because when you

12:18

look on the internet you can see that 1% .

12:21

I can see the 1% on social media . I can

12:23

see people shopping , doing

12:25

, living a certain lifestyle that looks like

12:27

it's bigger than what the actual percentage is

12:29

if I'm looking on social media . So I feel like , hey

12:31

, it's so easily attainable but

12:34

it's not necessarily realistic

12:36

in life , Like statistics don't bear that out , you

12:39

know .

12:39

True . I

12:43

have mixed feelings with that because I feel like a lot of people who

12:45

have those expectations . They have other qualities or things

12:47

that they know are desirable to

12:49

a certain subset of people .

12:51

Is that just like being ?

12:52

hot . No , not necessarily

12:54

because there's more to being hot , especially when you're

12:56

doing different business stuff Like it

12:59

can lead a lot of

13:01

, I would say , clout to a man in a

13:03

business setting . If your wife is hot , if

13:05

your friends want her , it is constant

13:08

boost and other things . So I feel like

13:10

but it goes back to what you said like it's that

13:12

50-50 effort , like her effort needs to match yours

13:14

. So if your income's at a certain level , she's

13:16

got to be at certain level as far as what you want

13:18

for looks , what you want for physicality , all that kind of stuff

13:20

, and be okay with that .

13:22

So there's that trade off ? Have you ever looked at somebody's significant other and

13:24

felt that way Like look at somebody's significant other ? I've never looked

13:26

at somebody's significant other .

13:27

You don't think of Dr .

13:27

Parr . Well , I've never looked at somebody's

13:29

significant other and use that as a feel

13:32

for like , how good or bad

13:34

that guy may be . Like I've never seen

13:36

his like . Oh , that's a bad woman . He must be

13:38

this , or you know what I mean . I've never equated

13:40

that . Now I've seen it underneath , now I have

13:42

seen it . If there is a massive

13:45

disparity in the looks

13:47

like you know what I mean . You see , one person

13:49

like one is way more attractive than

13:51

the other then maybe you're thinking

13:53

like yo could

13:55

be something there you know what I mean , but

13:57

I haven't really done it with just like a mutual

14:01

, like a close to attraction

14:03

. See a guy with a trophy wife , so

14:05

to speak , and feel like he's a better human

14:07

being of any sort . You know what I mean .

14:10

I feel like it depends when . So

14:13

, background wise , I used to be in commercial real estate

14:15

and real estate can be very incredibly

14:17

superficial about how you look and how you carry yourself

14:20

. It sells , you know that's what it is . I

14:23

will say that there's been conversations with people

14:25

and they felt that if their

14:28

significant other wasn't up to

14:30

par as far as , like , educational

14:32

, background , looks or whatever didn't fit in with

14:34

the rest of the group , they would not do business

14:37

with them . They take being

14:39

a single man is not good in

14:42

some of these business circles . You need to have someone

14:44

else with you , you need to have a significant other , because they

14:46

feel like if you can't hold a relationship , especially not

14:48

on the long term , then why would they do business with

14:50

you long term , like it ? becomes

14:54

kind of like a qualifier .

14:57

It's interesting because I feel like that can lead to a lot of

14:59

people being deceived . If you're looking at these things that

15:01

don't necessarily have factual correlations

15:04

and they're just correlations in your head , then

15:06

that leads to you being able to be deceived in that way . That's why people

15:08

can dress a certain way and deceive people right . That's why

15:11

people can look the part and

15:13

deceive you because you are drawing a correlation that's

15:15

not really there . You know the business correlation

15:17

is going to be value proposition . You know , either

15:19

the value proposition is good or it's not . The

15:21

value proposition has nothing to do with who you're dating , who

15:23

you're married to you see what I'm saying it can

15:25

.

15:26

That's why you see so many people saying these relationships when

15:28

other one's cheating , doing all this crazy

15:30

stuff but money is on the line .

15:32

Is that a cheaper to keep her ? Is that a cheaper to keep her

15:34

type situation or a cheaper to keep him type

15:36

situation ?

15:37

Yeah , I feel like that plays a role , because it's not just

15:39

financial when you're saying cheap to keep him , it's

15:41

also status-wise , it's

15:43

also social clout . It

15:45

carries weight and when you're ostracized from

15:47

that because you divorced

15:50

or split or whatever , it can be an issue

15:52

.

15:54

That's interesting , so like in order to stay in there , yeah . Do

15:56

you feel like people are so in

15:58

tune to that ? Because I think a lot of times

16:00

, when it comes to people and the public

16:03

in general , people are kind of like they

16:06

have tunnel vision for their own lives , lots of them not even

16:08

paying attention to your life , like that . You know what

16:10

I mean . And I feel like a lot of people put a big emphasis

16:12

on the , on the

16:14

public's interest , like as if the public is

16:16

interested in you that much . When

16:18

the public is not all the

16:20

way paying attention To you . Maybe they , maybe they see you with

16:22

an attractive woman and think like , hey , this is a guy who's

16:24

got it all together . Maybe , but that's why I was a

16:26

person themselves .

16:27

It depends on your , your friend

16:29

group . So the big thing right now is being like on

16:31

, take up , they have their , their whole friend groups and stuff

16:34

. So I feel like in order to fit in

16:36

certain friend groups , you have to be a certain way and have certain

16:38

things . So you know , if

16:40

you end up losing those things , because Whatever

16:43

circumstances it you can be , you can be on the outs

16:45

. Nobody wants , everybody wants to be included . So

16:48

it's not necessarily that like societal , like you're

16:50

gonna be I , nobody's

16:53

really paying attention to you , all kind of stuff . It's more so the people

16:55

that I'm already in with I don't want to be

16:57

on the out , I want to be included , I want to , I

16:59

want to be a part of the bigger group or have these

17:01

kind of things . It's almost like when people say like , oh

17:03

, like you're a certain age , you should have these things , or

17:05

this kind of milestone , or why don't you have kids when

17:07

you're married ? All this other stuff . The same thing .

17:11

I . I Feel

17:13

like it's . It's rough for people who pay a

17:15

ton of attention to these societal pressures because

17:17

I Haven't . I

17:19

mean , I'm pretty popular in my circles

17:22

and I put in zero effort , put

17:24

in no , zero

17:26

effort . I could just not .

17:28

But personality , isn't it maybe

17:30

?

17:31

I guess I mean because it's a

17:33

situation where I Don't

17:36

know how people care about these things . I don't

17:38

. That's why my social media is so horrible , like I

17:40

have no clue how people care

17:42

about what strangers think

17:44

, because it's like if you , if

17:48

you're not here when

17:50

those bills are , if you're not putting anything on these bills

17:52

, you're not here in these tough times . Why do

17:54

I care about what you think otherwise , like you're

17:56

, you're not really a factor in my life like

17:59

that . So your perspective you're the anarchy

18:01

factor .

18:02

You're not the norm . That's

18:04

my wish me is so big . You see , these influences

18:06

, I've got millions of people follow them . That's not

18:08

that's not for no reason . It's

18:11

not out of the blue , they're influenced .

18:13

Well , you saw the one AI influencer right

18:16

. That was like an . Ai blind blonde

18:18

woman . Hey , I very real . He had

18:20

like mad followers . She's

18:23

not even a person , his

18:26

imagination and she had a

18:28

lot more followers than real human

18:30

beings walking this earth .

18:33

And I bet you she had a certain way because people

18:35

expected a certain thing out of her . So it's like yo

18:37

.

18:39

From a guy stand for my other tractor standpoint

18:41

. Of course it's got me super official standpoint like

18:43

hey , I'll cook . I don't mind seeing her pop up on my feet every

18:45

now and then . You know she's attractive . But I

18:48

don't think there's any substance to that . You can't you

18:51

can't have You're never gonna meet

18:53

this human being because they're not real .

18:55

It's no different than your favorite celebrity . Like

18:57

they have a whole idea of who this person is

18:59

, what they stand for , your favorite actor or

19:02

act literally the same thing they have . They

19:04

made a whole narrative in their head about what

19:06

this person stands for , who they are , how they'll

19:09

interact with me . If they'll See me one time at a concert

19:11

will lock eyes and they'll be so into me .

19:13

We'll follow right , I might pull you up on stage

19:15

and everything . I'll just go ahead and ride off into the sunset

19:17

.

19:17

Yeah , all I had to do by the album

19:20

when we're this out , that

19:23

is very real , oh

19:25

that is hilarious . And

19:29

me being who I am , I'm like I don't understand it

19:31

, but I know it's there and I get it Especially

19:33

working in like sales and leasing

19:36

and everything else .

19:37

I'm sure it's

19:40

like attractive sales departments

19:42

there . So we're

19:45

gonna go down our list because we have about rough almost

19:47

another 10 or 15 minutes . We're gonna our list real quick . We

19:49

do like a rapid-fire situation . So

19:51

we're gonna do like is it superficial , worry to talk about

19:53

the race and Did

19:55

you go superficial or do we go just preference on that

19:57

? Prefer you particular ? It's a preference , but it's

19:59

not like a deal breaker . And

20:02

how do you feel like that is for other people ? I guess

20:04

because you feel that way about black men , I guess imagine

20:07

you wouldn't feel negative about other people having that same

20:09

perspective , about Only dating

20:11

one race or not dating specific

20:13

races and stuff like that you don't like that's just

20:15

a racist situation . That's just a preference .

20:17

I feel like it depends , when it arises

20:20

to a level to where you're putting

20:22

down others because of it , like

20:25

if your preference Also requires

20:27

you to be like I can't stand this other

20:29

stuff , or you know , literally like a visceral

20:32

reaction . Like you , I Think

20:35

it's wrong . I don't think that's right . Like I

20:37

, I prefer not to eat rice , but

20:40

I eat it sometimes . You know it goes

20:42

hand-in-hand with sushi . So

20:49

I feel like when it gets to the point where it's

20:51

like I'm putting down all Asian

20:54

food because I don't like rice , or all Indian

20:56

food or African food because I don't like rice , like

20:58

it doesn't make any sense , especially

21:01

when what you're saying is detrimental

21:03

to people because it's it's degrading

21:05

and the people see you doing this and it

21:08

just doesn't make sense . Like why and then also you're

21:10

, you're creating such a broad stroke over

21:13

a whole area of people

21:15

or personalities or anything like that Like

21:17

why would you count all of them out ? Because

21:20

then it's like not all the same , everybody

21:22

is different , everybody has different nuances , quarks

21:24

, all kind of stuff up bringing that play a role to

21:26

who they are as a person . So you would rather

21:28

not even get a chance to experience

21:30

All these mini characters and

21:32

the way these different attributes

21:35

can combine and become somebody like you're . Like now

21:37

, I want to give that a chance . I just don't like

21:39

it . No , done .

21:40

That's very interesting . I'm very interesting

21:42

and I totally , I totally agree

21:44

with their over generalizations . I'm not

21:47

, I can't stand that . Now , this

21:49

was a little more interesting . We're about religion a little

21:51

more interesting , right ? Because it can be

21:53

a deal breaker for a lot of people , whether it's Jewish

21:55

or Muslim or Christian or wherever , whatever

21:57

it may be . Do you feel that is it's

22:00

a preference or is that kind

22:02

of like a legit I

22:05

so to speak .

22:07

I have mixed feelings on that too , because , although

22:11

I would like somebody to align with

22:13

my beliefs , just because this makes it Once

22:16

again , it just sets a standard for how how we're gonna

22:18

continue our lives together . I

22:20

think it also gets more complicated when you have

22:22

Children or family members that are in the

22:25

mix as well , that feel like you be performing

22:27

certain traditions , rituals and things like

22:29

that . It can be incredibly

22:31

complicated . So I feel like when you don't fully

22:34

understand how

22:37

your religion plays a role in your life or you don't

22:39

have your own , you're not firm in your religion or in the other person

22:41

that you're . You're wanting to partner

22:43

with they . You

22:46

guys don't explore that together , how

22:48

you're , how your religion fit together , pretty much because

22:50

if you have kids , it's like who's who's religion your

22:53

kids gonna have right , yeah

22:55

. And then now

22:58

your kids are in the middle and then it's

23:00

like or if mom and dad , your parents , want

23:02

them to be a certain way , or they want this to happen

23:04

at this age because it's how it's supposed

23:06

to be , or it becomes up , you're break

23:09

kids , going to hell because they don't believe this way . You know it

23:11

can be right very , very

23:13

hard to navigate . So I feel like

23:15

you need to Definitely

23:17

explore that before you guys go

23:19

to the next level in your relationship or want to pursue that

23:21

, because if you don't have a good Understanding of how these things

23:23

are gonna affect you long term and I feel like you're

23:25

you're doing a disservice to each other . But

23:27

I feel like that's the same thing with going and having

23:30

Interracial marriage or having a religion

23:32

or or other other purposes that people have

23:34

or other Things that they are

23:36

standards that they have . I feel like you're not open and honest

23:38

with that beforehand and truly communicating and thinking

23:41

about how this is gonna affect us long term in

23:43

our relationship , then it what's

23:45

the point you're just playing around here's

23:47

gonna cause more problems in the long run .

23:50

Okay , I mean , I'm very open

23:53

. I'm an open person , though man I am all

23:55

. It's because I , because of this next

23:57

one , I'm gonna ask them . I've been had

24:00

a lot of experiences in different types

24:02

of experiences . I don't know if I've ever dated

24:04

anybody that was Muslim , I don't

24:06

think a few different religions

24:08

, but I do think that there is legit legitimacy

24:11

to discussing this one , in particular because

24:13

of what you said before , like what do we do on

24:15

certain days ? Maybe you go on Sunday

24:17

, maybe we go Saturday , like when there's a lot

24:19

of things that would need to be discussed from religious standpoint . Now

24:23

, this one is similar to race , but they're not

24:25

exactly the same , and this is could be culture or nationality

24:27

, because we know you can be black , brown , white in all and

24:29

a lot of different cultures and nationalities

24:31

. So this one is

24:33

one that's been amazing for me

24:35

is Dating women from different

24:37

cultures been absolutely eye-opening

24:40

. Amazing for me , because

24:43

you get such a this , you

24:45

can read about another culture and stuff

24:47

like that , but it's very different when you're with somebody

24:49

from that culture and you're seeing , you're living

24:52

that culture , right . It's very , very different

24:54

situation . So I Think

24:58

this is maybe just a preference , but you may have

25:00

people . I can see this in

25:02

and I'm gonna use the Ukraine Russian thing

25:04

as an example here Because

25:07

of the conflict that that exists here right

25:09

now with Ukraine and Russia . So I could see maybe

25:12

somebody not wanting to be with somebody

25:14

. If you're Ukrainian , I could see you not one

25:16

to be with somebody's Russian , especially right now

25:18

, just due to everything's not to say that that person Sympathizes

25:21

with Russia is not to say that person believes

25:24

because there's up there , just because you're Russian doesn't mean you sympathize

25:26

with what Putin and what's going on

25:28

yeah country you know what I mean . We know

25:30

that from just being in the United States . Right Like yeah . I

25:33

agree with everything that's going on in your country

25:35

, but I but I would get it . You

25:37

know what I mean . It'd be a . It'd be a get if you're

25:39

just like hey , for right now at least , now , I'm

25:41

just not gonna date anybody from that particular culture

25:43

. Do you fight ? This is something that is more

25:45

superficial or legitimate preference there

25:47

.

25:49

I Feel

25:51

like it's more superficial a little bit , because it

25:54

goes back to what you said , like you can't put

25:56

the weight of the whole nation's decisions on somebody

25:58

. But I feel like it's

26:00

something that you personally can't get past and you will look at

26:02

this person a certain way . It'll cause Not

26:06

necessarily envy , but like animosity

26:09

is it like resentment , so to speak ? yeah , yeah

26:11

, some resentment . I think

26:13

that that's since your mate . You're grown enough

26:15

to make that Known beforehand

26:17

. I think that's acceptable . I

26:19

feel like if you were to go into that relationship and they may be

26:22

like , oh , I can't really do this

26:24

because of this , or you start treating that person a certain

26:26

way and they're like what's going on ? Like you

26:28

were totally and you love bombing me . Before

26:30

we are great and now

26:32

it's an issue . I want you to change who you

26:34

are as a person now , because I can't deal with it . I

26:36

think that's why it rises the level of a red

26:38

flag .

26:40

Okay , so then let's go to . We're down

26:42

to like the last three year . Let's go to Wait

26:45

. This is wait is always a big one , because people

26:48

have what they like . Some

26:50

people like bigger women , some people like smaller

26:52

women , some people like bigger guys , some people

26:54

like smaller guys . We were like big guys , muscle

26:57

guys , and I've been it . Someone who don't like that

26:59

muscle no , that big muscle look

27:01

. Is this superficial

27:04

or a legitimate preference ?

27:07

I feel as though it's superficial . Wow

27:10

, a little bit is

27:13

, because if

27:15

You're looking at is this

27:17

person can't change from what they were

27:19

when you first met them , it's , it's superficial

27:22

. But if you're looking at it

27:24

as , like you know , I just want you to be fit

27:26

and healthy , I can

27:28

, I can roll with that , because who doesn't ?

27:30

I want my partner Would date

27:32

any any guy of any weight

27:34

like . Do you feel like you would do that ?

27:37

Uh , it depends . I'm not necessarily attracted

27:39

to bigger guys , but it depends on how big that

27:41

that is .

27:42

If they're not healthy . That's where I'm kind of here with

27:44

the , with the legitimate preference . I think it's more

27:46

your attraction , your attraction , right .

27:48

But if they're not healthy , I don't want anything to do with

27:50

it , because you don't . If you can't take care of you , how do you take care of me ? And

27:53

that's it so like being like

27:55

a stockier guy . Now , fine

27:57

, personalities . On point , I'm here More

28:00

to live . Throw me up , I Know

28:03

. I mean I would like for them not to be skinnier

28:05

than me . I'm just like you look hungry and I don't

28:07

feel like yo .

28:10

You gotta find the eat the eat a sandwich crowd

28:12

there . So You're

28:14

somewhere in between here and you know . So

28:17

you went superficial on this , I'm gonna , I

28:19

would go legitimate preference on

28:22

these . Oh well , on these last three , all

28:24

three , and then you can kind of just give me

28:26

what your perspective is on the last two , because

28:29

I believe , like that feeling of

28:31

attraction that you may get , it's

28:34

like a feeling right to know . Like it , you

28:36

know how you may , and especially

28:39

in the world of like online dating , you might have some

28:41

people that date in their their writing

28:43

and not even online dating , long

28:46

distance dating , right , like people can date

28:48

somebody long distance for a very long

28:50

time and they call it that spark , but when you meet

28:52

them it's not that spark , it's just not it's

28:55

just not there , right . So

28:57

it's kind of like is that being

29:00

superficial or is that just a spark ? Is legit

29:03

not there .

29:08

Oh , because I feel like , because do long

29:10

, I've done long distance relationships and I feel like

29:12

the person that you make

29:14

up in your head and the person that might be in front of you

29:16

when you actually meet them Can be two different people .

29:18

So I can do your man size right on that front end

29:21

right .

29:21

Yeah , and when you're actually in the same room , you're like

29:23

you , you pick up on things . You know what is things about

29:25

this person that you can't see through the camera

29:27

or on the phone . So of

29:30

course it would change . You'd be like . You know I'm not actually

29:32

into you , but I feel like attracting itself , I

29:34

Traction itself

29:37

it . I feel like it's

29:39

kind of superficial because you can

29:41

, it can come and go . I

29:43

feel like desire matters more than

29:46

attraction . Attraction gets you in the door .

29:49

It gets you to each other . Are they , like , related to each

29:51

other to a certain degree ?

29:52

There is a relation , but I feel like desires

29:54

more long-term It'll , it'll

29:57

, it'll . Last years I can desire

29:59

this person , you know , and people go

30:01

after war and they come back like

30:03

I still won't .

30:03

you , babe , dear John , letters

30:06

like that was this oh , that

30:09

that's interesting because I would one

30:11

like , I feel like , if you're maintaining the first

30:13

thing , like so if we were saying like , let's

30:15

say that . And me personally

30:17

I have not when

30:19

it comes to the wait situation , I

30:21

prefer in the middle and actually more

30:24

like I would prefer heavier than lighter

30:26

, to be honest with you , but

30:29

at the same time I don't , I Can't

30:33

say I think for the long-term situation

30:35

, because in the beginning you have such the Honeymoon

30:40

effect , the nail there in that beginning

30:42

that's gonna get you through a lot at honeymoon effects . I'm

30:44

sure you do a lot of stuff , man , and

30:46

then , when that honeymoon effect starts to weigh off , if you

30:48

went against what your natural preference is

30:51

and Then you keep going

30:53

out into the world and you see in that preference over

30:55

and , over and over again , I think it's gonna wear away

30:57

at you at a certain point . I don't think that it's the

30:59

Indulge it all be at all , because I'm we're not talking

31:02

, I'm talking about it . Personalities are good here I'm not necessarily

31:04

gonna talk about , because we know there can be a

31:06

wide range of these outcomes based on personality

31:09

, right ? So for sure I'm not gonna . I'm

31:11

talking as if the personalities are good

31:13

and you're just kind of looking at the

31:16

, these other things that may have attracted to you , to the

31:18

person to begin with , you know , may attract you to

31:20

walk up to that person or that person to walk up to you to

31:23

begin with . So that's

31:25

it on weight . And what about the height ?

31:28

For me . I think it's more the height

31:31

matters .

31:33

I .

31:36

Would say legitimate .

31:40

Not legitimate on the way , but legitimate on the

31:42

height because the way place world and you're being

31:44

healthy .

31:44

A height necessarily doesn't .

31:46

I mean , some people are like running stuff , they're

31:48

just big bone people like some people .

31:49

I'm saying if you're healthy , I'm fine with that .

31:51

You can be healthy , it doesn't matter if

31:54

you're , if the person is actually healthy , because

31:56

they are healthy , yeah , who just like just no

31:58

bigger people ?

31:59

Yeah , there's been what I call it . Was

32:01

it I found the skinny fat ? Or like

32:03

your skinny person , but you're not healthy .

32:05

Yeah , absolutely for sure .

32:07

I it comes from all directions for that stuff

32:09

, but I feel as a height only

32:11

reason why I would say a height is not superficial

32:14

, because the mentality

32:17

plays a role and , being a taller woman

32:19

, I find that a lot of times when I'm with a

32:21

shorter guy . It's an issue , it's

32:24

very taller woman .

32:25

Are you like six , three or you like basketball ?

32:27

player status .

32:29

Okay , so then , what is the minimum

32:31

then ? Danelle , minimum

32:34

of height , you lower that you would go

32:36

.

32:37

I would do , I height .

32:38

I gotta . So this other guy has to be

32:40

at least six feet himself .

32:42

Yes , because I find most of the ones who are

32:44

six feet or over . They don't have the same kind of mental

32:48

hardships with

32:50

me being tall .

32:51

Wow , mental hardships .

32:53

It almost is , because it comes a lot of attention

32:55

. A

32:57

lot of them aren't used to that or aren't ready for that

32:59

. They see the height difference and they're just like

33:01

, oh , little man , you're going to get a lot of jokes , a lot of jabs

33:04

.

33:04

and because I'm with them , it takes a very

33:06

secure guy right .

33:07

Yeah , I think that's what I'm trying to get at Like . I find

33:10

when they're shorter than me , it tends

33:12

to be a lot of insecurities that come along with me being

33:14

taller . Then they have a lot of requirements as far

33:16

as I don't want you to wear heels and all

33:18

this other stuff .

33:19

Oh yeah , man , I mean me personally . I'm 5'9"

33:21

, 6'5" , 3 to 4 inch heels

33:23

. You disappeared on me .

33:25

Yeah , pretty much . I'm looking at the head like

33:27

I

33:29

can literally put my chin like . But

33:31

yo .

33:32

Denel , is this a situation that a lot of guys

33:34

some guys are more secure than others

33:36

, though you know what I mean . There's some guys I have friends

33:38

who date taller women

33:40

and they're very secure . They're not . You

33:42

know , they're not .

33:43

I haven't yet to find one that is . I'm

33:45

fine with that . I can do a short keying , so is

33:47

it ?

33:48

just , is it so for you in particular

33:50

, denel ? It comes down to the security standpoint

33:53

. Like the insecure which I find , like a lot of women

33:55

don't like in any perspective , by the way , like that

33:57

insecurity tends to be a turnoff across the board

33:59

, across a bunch of different spectrums

34:01

. You know what I mean . All

34:04

right , so now this was kind of

34:06

a little bit different , because we

34:08

talked about this before and we talked about this people

34:11

having preferences for , like , hair type , where

34:13

the dread , the fade , the

34:16

whatever a woman might have a

34:18

perspective for or a preference for for

34:20

a guy's hair type and vice versa . So

34:23

I would say that hair maybe in general , if

34:25

we're talking about hair type , length type

34:27

, color , stuff of that nature

34:30

, so the color can change right , can't you

34:32

? You can change your hair color if you

34:34

wanted to . But if somebody does

34:36

change it , let's say that you meet the guys got

34:38

the dreads and there's no regular dreads , and

34:41

then you pops up two

34:43

weeks later he's got the purple , hot top fade . How

34:45

do you feel about it ?

34:47

Hair is like so pretty and it can be changed , and

34:50

that's that's pretty much how I feel it . It

34:52

I changed mine . Do you feel like you didn't grow those dreads ? How

34:54

long is it ?

34:54

going to take when the dreaded grows those dreads back .

34:56

It's going to be a minute you talk about you didn't ? No , it's going to be a minute

34:58

. They got a dread . Now you see them again . Yo

35:00

, you want to . You want to be this much . Extensions is what you're telling

35:02

them now . Can you do extensions ? You asked me that . You asked me that . You asked me that . You asked me that . You asked me that .

35:07

Do you do and be right back at the

35:09

game . So yo , you're anything to know . You pop it because

35:11

I'm going to have some require . You didn't pop enough . I'm

35:13

not anything .

35:14

I'm not anything I don't . I prefer not

35:16

to have dreads I I

35:19

like them on people , just not on the people I'm with

35:21

. Yikes , I

35:23

prefer I prefer fade , but that's for a different

35:25

reason .

35:27

So so you wouldn't if

35:30

the dreads so let's say those fake dreads did show up , this

35:32

didn't . You're going to be like yo take those dreads off . Like , are

35:34

you going to be like yo ? You got to rock with it .

35:36

I would not be enthused . But if you get

35:38

them done in there , uh , you have the upkeep

35:40

for it , Do you know it's not

35:42

going to change . I'm like , uh , no , I don't want you , no more

35:45

.

35:46

So it's not going to matter a lot to your personal attraction

35:48

level . So you feel like that is more superficial

35:50

than you'd put that than legitimate preference .

35:53

I would say it's more superficial because , like I said , it's hair is an accessory

35:55

, you can change it , I can wear different wigs , all that stuff , Cause

35:57

you can get the people who are like , oh no , I don't want you , you know

35:59

so wins , no , none of that stuff . Blah , blah , blah . I

36:02

was like bro . Sometimes you even tell he

36:04

ain't got a clue .

36:05

Wow , goodness gracious , I

36:09

personally like certain

36:12

things . Well , no , I like certain

36:14

types of hair styles , like , so it's

36:17

. When it comes to that , like I'm not

36:19

a one style guy , I'll tell you that I'm not like

36:22

I'm not married to . Like it's gotta be

36:24

, I gotta . I'm not pulling the ruler out and stuff

36:26

like that . That's , that's ridiculous . You're not

36:28

going to bobbin it . No , I'm not . I'm not

36:30

going to be that guy . But at the same time , I

36:32

think that , just like you can have that spark . We

36:34

talked about the things that may attract and now there's

36:36

things that unattract people Like

36:39

it is possible , it is , it is out

36:41

there . I don't know if sugarcoating

36:44

that makes things better . Like to act like that . It's

36:47

just not a thing . Like attraction

36:49

is not a thing , just the way attraction is . You know

36:51

what I mean . Like there's just you

36:53

want to take anything , right ? I

36:55

don't want somebody and and this is

36:57

not we're taking out all of the medical situations

37:00

here that may cause any issues Right ? So

37:02

somebody breaks their leg and you want people

37:04

who can walk when they break their leg , then okay . And

37:06

then if you're okay with people

37:09

who may go through , uh , cancer treatments and stuff of

37:11

that nature , I believe that you're . It's kind of

37:13

a jerk move .

37:13

Are you saying no to girls or things ? I'm out of here . Are

37:16

you saying no to girls or things ? No , no , no , not

37:18

for me .

37:18

I don't want us to be able to go , if we can go , both

37:21

beginning , shaped up at the same time . I don't , I

37:23

don't , I don't . It's not for me , it's

37:25

not for me , but at the same time I've seen

37:27

him like that's . That's a nice look , a woman , you know what . I

37:29

mean yeah , and I don't think

37:31

that that woman should care what anybody else's

37:33

thinks to eat it .

37:34

So you see , what I'm saying .

37:35

It's a situation where my specific

37:37

preference is my specific preference , but

37:39

I believe that about every human being though Everybody's

37:42

you know what I mean I think you're entitled to that . You're entitled

37:44

to live the life . If you want your high top , go get your

37:46

high top . Hey , forget what any dude saying . You know that's

37:48

inclusive of myself . Forget it what anybody's saying , um

37:51

, but I do believe that if you have an

37:53

object desire and you want that specific

37:56

person , you might want to tune into

37:58

what they attracts them Like . I don't think that's crazy

38:00

.

38:00

No , I agree , no , no , I agree

38:02

with that because I feel I , as

38:04

a woman , like , I want to be attracted to the , to the

38:06

man that I'm with .

38:07

So of course .

38:08

I'm going to . I'm going to hear what he wants . So I'm going to hear

38:10

about , like , what preferences he has or what he

38:12

, what he doesn't , doesn't like , and I will

38:14

most likely go along with that because it doesn't

38:16

matter to me , it is what it is , it doesn't

38:18

bother me . It's not like

38:20

he's asking me to go under , like undertake surgery

38:22

or anything .

38:24

That's what I'm ridiculous , you know . You guys out

38:26

there who are like that to know tell you I

38:28

need you go get shaped up , I need you , I need you to

38:30

go see somebody .

38:32

He doesn't send me recommendations for a doctor , like no

38:34

, we're not doing that .

38:36

I know you see that out there in LA .

38:37

But if he was like , no , I know you see that out there . If

38:40

he was like sometimes I like you , I like them . Sweats

38:42

with a , with a messy bun , I'll rock that . I

38:44

want it because you want to be attracted to the person with you with

38:46

. So I don't . I don't have a problem with that , but

38:48

when it gets to the point where it's like you

38:50

, I either you got to wear this all the time

38:53

or you got to look at this all the time . or , you

38:55

know , maybe they're going through something and , like they , they

38:57

fall out of that , or for a moment , or whatever . Or

38:59

it's something like I genuinely don't like this

39:01

. Please don't make me do these things

39:03

. Like you would hope that they would be able to change their preference

39:05

to find something different , like there's such a variety

39:08

in in things that you could be attracted

39:10

to , like find something else .

39:12

Is there . Is that , then , room for conversation

39:15

, cause some people that's an undercomfortable conversation

39:17

to have and I feel like me personally , I

39:19

definitely feel like you should have every

39:21

conversation in relationships If it's on your

39:23

mind , other person doesn't

39:25

owe you mind reading . You

39:28

know you should let them know this is how you

39:30

feel about a situation they didn't see if hopefully

39:32

it could get worked out , because you never know if it can

39:34

right , and sometimes people what they end up doing

39:36

is going and finding that other person and they never

39:39

talked to them about the

39:41

, the high top eight or the dreads . They never

39:43

had that conversation . They never talked to

39:45

them about cutting their hair to a certain length . Or maybe

39:47

you're a person who likes blondes and then maybe

39:49

they come back , they've died in a different color . Maybe your person

39:51

doesn't like blondes . They've come back and they've died at blonde . You

39:53

see what I'm saying . Like there's a lot of different types

39:56

of things of these natures that can be definitely superficial

39:59

, but I believe you're owed that a

40:01

little bit . When it comes to nobody has

40:03

to date every human being , like nobody

40:05

has to be attracted to every human being for

40:07

for a PC purpose Cause I believe . I think

40:09

it's more politically

40:12

correct to say that that's what

40:14

you would do . Right To not really eliminate anybody

40:16

. Anyone can get it . Somebody's

40:19

going to get mad on that other . You know what I mean . So

40:23

, but I think that even that person doesn't

40:25

date every person and that's what I had to tell my friends

40:27

. I'm like well , you might say this about different

40:30

cultures and everything but you that they don't date

40:32

everybody themselves . They have people they've curved

40:34

. I'm like , how did you think they felt when you curve

40:36

them ? Like so I

40:39

think sometimes people look at these things and

40:42

feel like they don't want to hurt somebody's feelings , so

40:44

they don't say nothing about them , but then they

40:46

go out when they're caught on a cheater . You're

40:48

watching show cheaters . I'm going through a cheaters page

40:50

right now and I've been watching . I've

40:52

been watching cheaters .

40:53

But a rabbit hole .

40:54

I'm a lot , I have it on YouTube

40:56

and it's quite a bit for anybody who wants to get out there

40:58

and watch us nightly . Watch you here the last couple

41:00

of weeks here .

41:02

But I feel like it goes back to being

41:04

flexible within that too , like , if you're

41:06

, if you want , there's no room for compromise

41:08

and the why are you going to have a relationship ? You

41:11

got to be room . Like , say , I like blond , like

41:13

she's , she dyed her hair red . I'm like , well , can you

41:15

do a strawberry blonde babe ? Like

41:18

find a middle ground .

41:20

How do we work our way back to ?

41:21

I mean , you might find out that you had something that

41:23

you liked , that you didn't know they might surprise

41:26

you with a look and you're like oh yes , I'm

41:28

good with this Like experiment

41:31

finding . I feel like that . I go back to what you were saying Communication

41:33

is key . I feel like you should definitely talk about those things

41:35

. So some people will literally move on to the next

41:37

relationship and not even get that other one a chance . That

41:40

is making me think it's like up and late , like 100%

41:43

.

41:43

I'm going to leave there because I can't say anything better

41:45

than that . Danelle , I appreciate you taking some time

41:47

out here .

41:49

No , thank you for having me . I'm going to go . Uh , maybe swim

41:51

for a little bit . Try not to get blown

41:53

away by the winds . Hopefully

41:56

my internet stays . I've already downloaded most of

41:58

Netflix . I'm good .

42:00

Well , well , well , hopefully we'll see on future shows

42:02

if Danelle has been swept away or if she

42:05

is back , which I'm pretty sure . I'm hoping that she

42:07

will be back and definitely appreciate her taking some time

42:09

out here this Reggie Natio , check us out to

42:11

try her radio Google podcast , apple podcast , spotify

42:14

, wherever you find your podcast . See you next time . So

42:16

what's going on there now ? Like are you , like is

42:19

it ? Is it picking up ?