Whether I am serving in the role of executive coach or psychotherapist, most of my clients inevitably discuss problems they are having with a narcissistic manager. Elsewhere I have described the increasing prevalence of narcissism, a trend that

20 - The Disorder of Accumulated Stress: Anxiety

May 13th, 2019 12m 5s

The 11 psychiatric diagnoses that make up the Anxiety Disorders category of the current psychiatric nomenclature center on the manifestation of worry, concern about future threats, ruminations about performance and social acceptance, and avoida

19 - A Self and a Name: Brief Reflection in the Wake of the College Admissions Scandal

Apr 24th, 2019 8m 18s

Despite the notoriety of the 2016 publication of Angela Duckworth's Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, it appears that a significant contingent of contemporary adolescents is trending toward attitudes and behaviors directly opposing t

18 - Are You Typecast? Polarization in Couples

Apr 17th, 2019 11m 44s

Polarization is a common dynamic among couples that is unconsciously motivated and very hard to detect. When polarization occurs in relationships, it often yields conflict, distress, and impasse, with many couples who are polarized ultimately b

17 - What Nietzsche Teaches Us About Good Parenting

Mar 20th, 2019 9m 47s

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche was a German philosopher, artist, and Latin and Greek scholar who is perhaps best known for his study of tragedy in ancient Greek mythology. Nietzsche conceptualized an important element of tragedy, the artistic depi

16 - Psychological "Cloning"

Mar 13th, 2019 9m 3s

As parents, most if not all of us probably hope that our own children will absorb the very best of us, our positive personality tendencies, our industrious habits, and our moral standards and values, and disregard the rest. The last thing we wa

15 - The Illusion of Complexity

Mar 1st, 2019 9m 22s

Often the solutions to many problems encountered in daily living and in contemporary relationships are not that difficult to reach. In fact, it seems to me that we often know what we need to do, as the issue at hand is not typically something w

14 - Counteridentification

Feb 27th, 2019 14m 25s

Counteridentification is an important term in psychological theory and in the literature on psychotherapy. It is also implicated in numerous problems that many adults experience. It refers to the common unconscious motivation in pre-adolescence

13 – What You Elicit

Feb 13th, 2019 10m

Many approaches to self-improvement and personal change are largely focused on self-understanding, on learning about one’s problematic or limiting beliefs, tendencies, and self-destructive actions. Although this perspective on the internal, p

12 – The Neurobiology of Fate

Feb 11th, 2019 12m 56s

There is an emerging body of scientific research indicating that the human brain is impacted by social experience in ways we did not realize previously. In the last several decades we learned that the brain is malleable, a discovery that contin

11 - Enactment

Jan 27th, 2019 10m 2s

Enactment is a term used by psychologists and theorists that refers to an experiential or relational dynamic that is created, unwittingly, by unconscious forces. Perhaps the most significant hypothesis put forth by Freud is that a person is doo

10 - Guilt

Jan 26th, 2019 13m 14s

As a psychotherapist, guilt is one of the most common emotional experiences my patients grapple with. Guilt is commonly viewed as the feeling that emerges when you've done something wrong when you've made a mistake or not acted as you would hav

09 - The World One Sees and the Seer Who Sees It

Sep 19th, 2018 14m 8s

Seeing things as they are in an essential concept in Buddhist philosophy and psychology, as well as Freudian theory. So much emotional turmoil, what is known as suffering in Buddhism, is due to the tendency to withdraw from and deny the true

08 - Denial and "Mystification"

Sep 5th, 2018 11m 13s

Due to our need to bond and early developmental experiences of tolerating the limitations of caregivers, denial is common in adult romantic relationships. But once denial is overcome, an important psychological capacity called "mystification"

07 - The Architecture of a Relationship with a Narcissist in 5 Phases

Sep 1st, 2018 14m 4s

Narcissistic tendencies are the result of psychological defenses employed early in development when the child's need for empathic reflection and mirroring was frustrated. Consequently, the adult narcissist relates to significant others in a ch

06 - The Psychological Capacity of "Inflexion"

Aug 29th, 2018 11m 49s

"Inflexion" is the psychological capacity necessary to subvert one's unconscious repetition of prior relational injury and trauma in current and future romantic relationships. It involves the recognition of roles and relational dynamics one

05 - Unconscious Relational Templates in the Film "9 1/2 Weeks"

Aug 25th, 2018 12m 59s

Adrian Lyne's 1986 film "9 1/2 Weeks" depicts the disturbing sadomasochistic relationship between "John" (Mickey Rourke) and "Elizabeth" (Kim Basinger), two characters destined to form a treacherous union. Elizabeth's unconscious relational te

04 - Fatal Attraction: Unconscious Recruitment and Enactment

Aug 22nd, 2018 10m 24s

Emotional injuries suffered in relationships early in development set up the unconscious motivation to repeat and enact similar experiences of conflict, rejection, and trauma across the lifespan. Relationships are not "fated" by some spiritu

03 - The Shared Psychological Origin of Narcissism and Codependent Relational Styles

Aug 18th, 2018 10m 57s

Narcissistic and codependent relational styles in adulthood originated as unconscious psychological defenses in early development. If the child's bond with the primary caregiver was characterized by repeated unempathic and non-mirroring respon

02 – The "Maternalizing Dynamic" in Romantic Relationships

Aug 15th, 2018 12m 24s

Under certain conditions, a romantic relationship based on strong sexual and emotional attraction may devolve into unconscious role assignments in which a woman acts in a maternalistic fashion toward her previously competent and autonomous part

01 - The Distinction between "Attachment" and "Erotic" Love

Aug 11th, 2018 11m 48s

Many people experience unnecessary struggles in their romantic relationships because they unconsciously rely on primitive bonding strategies ("attachment") rather than on "erotic" forms of relatedness characterized by an uncensored expression o

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