Owen (Dictatezo), Seb (Whitinho Santos), and James (Goblauro) catch up in this week's RYWYLF in the absence of Tommy (Gooseca the Asthmatic Rhino) and pull their socks up to talk Brazilian nicknames, al Capocannoniere (or something like that), ghost goals, the endless need for narrative, Edin Džeko swanning about at Inter, football stadiums as Transformers, watching a game at the indomitable San Siro, a man walks into a bar, 35 being old, pronouncing banal as baynle, old-school buzzer noises, liver-ripping orcas, Educating Seb, J. League mascots who lunch, massaging beer-drinking cows, Birdo’s foodie credentials, a hench owl, Gulliver White’s selfies with Lilliputians, player watching, the work of art, coveting canvas, twitching, Eddie Abbew, running for the bus, common sense, a battle with a bike shed, and somehow so much more!

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