Adam is cooking up a brand new money-making scheme selling first years to science and then running a sweepstake on how much profit he makes, while girly old Heather is fretting about what make-up to wear to her make-up-and-boys party to which she is hoping to invite some very cool older boys who look like they should be in Brother Beyond but can't act.

Before they do that, they have to watch a couple of episodes from the final season of Imperial-phase Grange Hill - the last to feature Ziggy Greaves, Gonch Gardner, Helen Kelly, Danny Kendall, the mighty Mr Bronson - and, of course, the late Alan Hawkshaw's magnificent Chicken Man theme tune. Mwanap mwah mwaaaah.

But will Heather enjoy spending time with so many grubby teenagers and their Norf Landan accents, or will she end up pursuing Adam down a corridor, bellowing at him and issuing all sorts of dire threats?

A norse! A norse! My kingdom for a norse!

Mrs McClusky says: I'd have expected this from you, Adam, but not the rest of you. I don't want to have to call in your parents, but I shall. In the meantime, I require you all to like, rate, review and subscribe to the podcast, and don't let me catch you using language like that again.

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Theme music by Berlin Horse.

But I didn't understand. I didn't understand.

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