Did you have power struggles when you first got together with your spouse? I don't remember having any. There was a give and take. The focus was on what is best for "us." Sometimes we even acquiesced initially, giving our power away because we just wanted to please our partners. 

Fast forward some years later,  couples often begin to feel their independence kick back in after they've been married a while.   While they are one unit, they are still very different individuals with differing behaviors, convictions, expectations, and perspectives. After the "lust" has died down, these differences can cause a power struggle. 

When one takes full or even partial control without considering their spouse, this causes a power imbalance. And it happens most often between two strong personalities. 

A power imbalance is an unequal distribution of control and power between two partners. 

You might have power struggles over things like money, sex, where to spend a vacation, who does what around the house, how it is done. My husband has had power struggles over decorating the home, finances, and children, even getting animals. I'm an animal lover, he not as much. 

This imbalance in a relationship is not healthy for a marriage because it puts a wall up. When your spouse overrules you, you feel disrespected, not heard. It kills intimacy. When one partner holds power in the relationship, there will be anger and resentment for the powerless partner, which will cause a wedge that threatens the intimacy in the relationship. 

While we are individuals, we no longer are on our own once we are married. We have someone else to consider in every area of our lives. It is part of the marriage pact. 

In this episode, I'll be covering what an imbalance of power is, how it affects the relationship, what sharing power looks like, and 7 ways to restore the power balance in the marriage.