2:18

Welcome everybody to another episode

2:20

of the Ride Home Rants podcast

2:23

. This is , as always , your host

2:25

, mike Bono . I have a great

2:28

guest for us today . He

2:30

comes to us from Newark , ohio . He

2:32

is the king of Newark

2:34

and he is a fellow comic

2:37

. Destin Richardson

2:39

joins the show . Destin , thanks for joining

2:41

, brother .

2:42

Thanks for having me , man .

2:44

Hey , not a problem at all . So How's

2:47

comedy life treating you ? We'll just

2:49

roll right into it .

2:51

Roll right into it . No foreplay , no , nothing , nothing

2:53

, I don't know . Yeah , no

2:55

, so comedy . Life's been going pretty great , actually

2:57

, ending a three-day weekend

2:59

and the whole day has just been me at this computer

3:02

editing . So

3:05

it's my podcast . Yeah , so

3:08

even my day off it doesn't feel like it , but

3:10

I'm slowly starting to fill in some

3:12

in-person shows and

3:15

, like I said , having good

3:17

luck on recording the podcast , since

3:19

you and I spoke

3:21

last on said

3:24

podcast .

3:25

Right .

3:27

Yeah , and finally , for the first time ever , I

3:29

actually have like four episodes

3:31

in the bank , so I actually don't have to worry about it

3:33

for a month or so , just getting

3:36

all my work done today , getting

3:38

schedule release on

3:40

all my platforms and everything . And

3:42

then , yeah , for the next month I don't have to worry

3:44

about , you know , inviting people over to my house

3:46

to talk in my living room for

3:48

an hour .

3:50

Man , you sound like me , like I am

3:52

so far ahead with recordings

3:54

and everything like that , like I have

3:57

. I know this by

3:59

the time . It's serious . It probably won't make sense , but right

4:01

now it's February 19th , it's President's Day when we're

4:03

recording this . I'm already done with

4:05

February . I'm into March and

4:08

actually starting April recordings , like

4:10

so I get it , though . Like your

4:12

days off aren't days off

4:14

, like I don't get days off .

4:17

Yeah , yeah , because , like for

4:19

my day job , sunday is like the one guaranteed

4:22

day I have off , yeah , so

4:24

naturally that's my go to day

4:26

to do podcast

4:28

, which , granted the act of just

4:30

sitting down and talking to people , that's

4:33

not work for me . I

4:35

love every second of that . It's the

4:37

getting on a computer and

4:40

being a video editor , which is something I

4:42

had no desire to do when I was younger . All

4:45

I want to do was get on stage and talk about my dick

4:47

. I

4:51

didn't want to have to , like learn how to do graphic

4:54

design , video editing , sound

4:56

engineering , all this other stuff that

4:59

we have to now to survive

5:01

in today's comedy

5:03

industry .

5:04

So yeah , I don't

5:06

mind it . I don't mind that aspect of it . It's

5:08

actually what I got my college degree in and

5:11

communications , and it was considered new

5:14

media , quote unquote , back in the early

5:16

2000s when I was graduate , when I was in college

5:18

.

5:19

Was it with the end you like

5:21

new metal was .

5:23

I wish it was . I went to

5:25

a liberal arts college , so they

5:27

don't do anything like that to rock

5:30

the boats . But yeah

5:32

, yeah , it was all like when

5:34

Facebook was really starting to take

5:36

off and all social media is in Twitter

5:38

and all that . So it was like , yeah , this is going

5:40

to be the way of the world , and all of us look at each other

5:42

like they're fucking full of shit . There's no

5:44

way like this . And now , yeah , communicate

5:47

through Twitter , facebook

5:50

, everything . So , yeah , I had to do a lot

5:52

of like video editing and audio

5:55

editing and stuff like that to actually get

5:57

my degree .

5:58

Right , yeah , early 2000s . They were wrong

6:01

about Janko Jeans and Frost Attempt , but they

6:03

were writing about Internet and it's

6:05

the future .

6:06

So yeah , they nailed that one

6:08

. The I don't know , though I'm

6:10

a big cargo short

6:12

guy and cargo pant guy myself

6:14

those are coming back now . I've

6:17

seen that , I've noticed and I'm so pumped

6:19

for that .

6:20

Yeah , I almost never wear anything

6:22

it's not cargo shorts when it gets above

6:25

like 60 degrees .

6:26

Yeah .

6:28

I'm not not one of those assholes that

6:30

wears shorts when it's like 40

6:32

, 30 degrees . No , no

6:34

, then you wear your own pants . But

6:36

yeah , I run hot . So like once it's over

6:38

60 , cargo shorts for me

6:40

.

6:41

Yeah , yeah , that's me . Like

6:43

it's past couple of weeks when I got up into

6:45

the 60s and everything like that , like it

6:47

was . Like man , I don't even need my heater at work

6:49

here . Like I can , I might crank the AC

6:52

back here in the office

6:54

just to piss

6:56

everybody off . It comes in to look for

6:58

a shed . That's , that's

7:00

, that's what I'm going to do . Yeah , it's

7:03

cold . Yeah , well , I sit in here all day . You don't get

7:05

you buying something .

7:07

No , I was like yeah , I mean my , my

7:09

office is the

7:11

outdoors . Yeah , so , yeah

7:13

, so I , you know , I opened up the windows , didn't have the

7:16

AC on . Yeah

7:18

, when it was in the 60s . Yeah , I was wearing

7:20

the shorts .

7:21

So let me , let me ask

7:23

you this what made you want to get into comedy ?

7:28

So the answer that I'm supposed

7:30

to tell people and

7:33

tell the social media is

7:35

a love of making people

7:38

laugh , bringing light into darkness

7:40

, of turning a skill

7:42

that I had to survive

7:44

school and profit off

7:46

of it . The real answer

7:49

is pussy . I

7:53

want to be able to sleep with women a little

7:55

better than I should be getting

7:57

without comedy . That's it

8:00

. Money will be nice . Like

8:02

the money , the recognition , free

8:05

drinks . That's all cool and I like that

8:07

too , but it's all about all

8:10

about that .

8:12

All about that , yeah .

8:14

And okay , there's a degree of truth to the

8:16

other stuff I said earlier . You

8:19

know , like I said , like I was , I was always

8:21

a fat kid growing up and

8:24

so it's one of those things if I had , if I

8:26

wanted to , to fit in , if I wanted

8:28

to do anything , I had to bring something to

8:30

the table and that was being funny

8:32

. And then , yeah

8:35

, and you know I'm clinically

8:38

depressed as well . So , no , I do , I

8:40

do genuinely gain some satisfaction

8:42

out of being able to make people laugh

8:44

, smile , forget about their their

8:47

stuff too , and

8:49

then I'm hoping at least one of them , you

8:51

know , meets me in the bathroom afterwards . So , yeah

8:55

, that's , that's the longest short

8:57

of it . Also , when I was 13 , I was

9:00

staying at an uncle's house one time in

9:02

Pennsylvania and then

9:04

he had a lot of like stand up , like albums

9:07

, dvds , stuff like that , and

9:09

I stumbled upon Eddie Murphy's Raw special

9:12

and this

9:15

, you know , at the time I only ever known Eddie Murphy

9:17

for Dr Doolittle and

9:19

donkey and shrek . So

9:22

I was like I'm pretty Murphy and you

9:24

know he'd put it on and in the very first

9:27

thing should scar people

9:29

for life if they only knew him as those two

9:31

things . Yeah , and

9:33

it did the opposite for me . I was like this

9:35

is great . And by the end , by the end

9:37

of raw , I was like I

9:40

want to do that someday . And

9:42

then what officially got me

9:44

off the couch to do it

9:46

was all the way back in 2018

9:48

. And after you know so

9:51

it had been 10 years since I

9:53

first saw raw . But 2018

9:55

, I saw Doug Stanhope , beer

9:57

hall , pooch Stan official and

10:01

just watching a dude care

10:03

so little about fame and money and all

10:05

the stuff and just doing

10:07

the art and not giving

10:10

a fuck . You

10:12

know , I was like all right , I

10:14

need to look up an open mic . Right now I

10:16

am going and I am doing every

10:19

everything I have which

10:21

I . My first set was like a 15

10:23

minute set , because it was a regular

10:26

like ball art form open

10:28

mic , so mostly musicians and

10:31

they were doing 15 , 20 minute spots . So I did

10:33

15 minutes my first time out and

10:36

it went well . I

10:38

did not kill it by any means , but

10:41

I didn't . It didn't bomb either . I had

10:43

maybe two jokes that didn't

10:45

land how I wanted to , but for the most part , I

10:48

achieved exactly what I wanted to . It felt great

10:50

. And then

10:53

the rest of the history and that's why I'm here talking

10:56

to you from my living room

10:58

.

10:59

So yeah , I

11:01

mean , I me getting into comedy

11:03

was

11:06

to help a help a friend out , and I never

11:08

thought I'd want to turn it into a career

11:10

Now . I've always watched stand

11:12

ups and comedy

11:15

specials and stuff like that . Growing up like

11:17

raw was definitely one of the ones

11:19

that you know turned me on to comedy

11:22

. But you

11:24

know , like the Jerry Seinfelds of the

11:26

world and then getting to do like the sitcoms

11:28

along with it

11:30

being on TV , that

11:33

kind of interest me . But

11:35

I had such crippling stage fright that it's

11:37

like there's no way I'd ever ever

11:40

be able to do that with with

11:44

this stage fright , there's no way . But buddy

11:46

convinced me to do it , just to

11:48

fill a spot for him . And , like you

11:50

, I did 20 minutes because he

11:52

ran his shows a little weird . He wasn't really

11:55

scripted

11:57

as much . He was like I just go up there to you run

12:00

out of jokes . It's like , well , I

12:02

could go up there for like 30 seconds and pass

12:04

out and then my portion's over , like

12:06

that's probably what's going to happen

12:09

. So but I'm

12:11

talking for 20 minutes and then , you

12:13

know , got off stage and made , killed the room

12:15

and caught the comedy bug

12:17

and just decided like , yeah

12:19

, let's go for it that's chasing dream and let's

12:21

make a career out of making people laugh

12:23

and and telling

12:25

stupid dick jokes on stage like that

12:28

. Let's do that . Or for me , you

12:30

know , the best joke that

12:33

landed for me was what you heard at

12:35

the Black Friday show . We

12:37

did the rape joke . I've been

12:39

doing that . I've been doing that joke for almost 12 years

12:41

and it still gets a laugh . And I've told

12:43

myself that probably not going

12:45

to stop doing that joke until it doesn't

12:47

get a laugh . And like it's , it

12:50

gets a laugh every time . So yeah

12:53

, I've added to it . Obviously

12:55

, over the years I changed

12:58

it up a little bit but like my

13:00

writing style is completely

13:02

I don't

13:04

want to say nonexistent , but it's nonexistent

13:06

. I just kind of live my life and then I just kind of

13:08

write down ideas from things I've

13:11

seen that I think I could make

13:14

funny , and then I just go on stage and just kind

13:16

of ref , so like , do you have a

13:18

writing style yourself when you're writing jokes

13:20

?

13:22

Yeah , kind of I was

13:24

just while you're talking about yours , honestly

13:27

, yeah , you're very just , it

13:29

feels naturally conversational

13:31

. Yeah , like

13:33

. Yeah , you're not . It's

13:36

not that you're like not trying like too hard

13:38

, you know , it's just you have a

13:40

natural feel to your delivery

13:42

and all that . So respect

13:44

. Appreciate it , but yet so

13:47

for my writing style . I

13:49

mean I started out again

13:53

strictly story based . I didn't write a lot of one liner

13:55

starting out , yeah , but

13:58

yeah over time , and

14:00

I'm a fan of literally every style

14:02

of comedy . I mean , if we're talking

14:05

like , I mean I like some alternative

14:07

stuff , I like urban

14:09

stuff . I hate the term urban

14:11

black like

14:15

black comics . Yeah , we can say it , on it there's

14:17

a lot of my roots . Pun intended , it

14:20

was black comics , deadpan

14:24

comics I love a good deadpan comic every

14:26

now and then . I have a lot of a

14:28

lot of female comics . I love a lot of

14:30

one liners . I love the story tellers . You know

14:33

any style of comedy I love

14:36

and respect . So I'll always

14:38

dabble little bits here and there of something

14:40

. But yeah , I always approach

14:42

. You know , obviously we do

14:44

a lot of reverse engineering

14:46

. Sometimes , like you know , we have the punchline

14:48

first and then it's like all right , well , now

14:51

how do we stretch this out to a bit or a

14:53

story or something to ? You know , fill

14:55

time , add suspense , add elements

14:57

. You know set up , set up stuff

14:59

. Yeah

15:02

, so it usually starts with that . You know , usually I'm out

15:04

there during the day job

15:06

. You know , the idea hits me , goes in my notes

15:08

app . I come home , I look at it . I was like all right

15:10

, first off , what was I thinking ? It's

15:13

been hours since then . Sometimes I forget

15:15

there's a great Mitch

15:17

Hedberg jump about

15:19

how he'll do the same thing . And

15:21

then when he gets home he's like I either to

15:23

remember exactly

15:25

what it was or I have to convince myself

15:28

that what I wrote down isn't

15:30

funny enough to actually write it out , or something

15:32

like that , yeah . So sometimes it's

15:34

like , all right , is it worth me even trying to

15:36

think about what I was thinking ? And

15:38

yeah , y'all sit it down , write

15:41

out . You know traditionally three to four tags

15:44

on top of that that

15:46

are all related and then I'll sprinkle

15:48

in some details . So , yeah , you , pretty

15:50

much I usually work . You know . Back to

15:53

the front . For the most part you

15:56

know you always have one that breaks even your own

15:58

established style . Sometimes it's

16:01

just a story that you it's worth a word . You write

16:03

it in chronological order yeah

16:06

, yeah , typically a

16:08

lot of reverse engineering . So

16:11

, punchline , I don't think we're time . I think

16:13

of other stuff to make it sound more like a story

16:15

.

16:16

Yeah , I mean , I'm like you , I'm a storytelling

16:18

comedian or , as they dubbed me almost

16:21

12 years ago , a ranting comedian

16:23

, because I

16:26

don't want to say I don't talk about anything

16:28

positive on stage , because I do have some positive

16:30

things that I talk about on stage , but 98%

16:32

of my set is just things that piss

16:35

me off . And it's

16:37

how one

16:40

of my running jokes that I

16:42

I could just continually build on

16:44

and said I hate stupid questions

16:46

and I hate stupid

16:49

people . And that's the

16:51

gist of it , because I've worked in retail

16:54

for as long as I've been a comic and

16:56

you hear

16:59

nothing but fucking stupid questions

17:01

all day and being in a professional

17:04

, I need to make a sale or I don't

17:06

make money type of situation I

17:08

got to like suppress and push all that

17:10

anger like down to my feet

17:12

and then when they leave , I'm just like writing

17:15

it down like I cannot forget that question

17:17

and then I just literally

17:20

say the question and then

17:22

just go on a tyrant like

17:24

on stage and that was like the early

17:27

parts of my comedy

17:29

and that's where I started . You know , my

17:31

, my merch store , the stupid should hurt merch

17:33

store , because that's now the tagline is

17:35

I think stupid should hurt and

17:38

I ssh , ssh , that's

17:40

. Yeah , I

17:43

tell everybody because

17:45

people come up to me when I with SSH

17:48

because I didn't think what I made this

17:50

hat to like , maybe I should put like

17:52

a period in between each

17:54

letter so that you know it's an acronym

17:56

for something . Because people

17:58

just come up to me , I just go and

18:03

I was like at first , I'm like what I'm

18:05

like ? Oh , my hat . Yeah , I forgot

18:07

wearing it . Yeah , but

18:09

no , it's not what it stands for . Yes , that's , but

18:12

I've evolved

18:14

the SSH to you

18:16

can be whatever you want it to mean Sexy

18:19

. So free hunk . That's the yeah , sure

18:21

, that's exactly what it means . You want to buy a hat ? Let's buy

18:23

a hat like this . One's $20

18:25

. Then I'll get you one . You know

18:27

what I mean Like and but single

18:29

Spanish shows . There you go . That's a new one

18:31

. I haven't heard that one before . That's definitely

18:34

I'm going to .

18:34

That's what's on my mind all the time Single Spanish

18:36

shows . That's why I'm doing this

18:38

.

18:39

Single Spanish shows .

18:41

Yeah

18:44

, I'll say keep me away from New Mexico

18:47

, arizona , el Paso , though , or

18:50

if I , if I learn enough Spanish , maybe I'll

18:52

do gigs in Juarez or Tijuana . Yeah

18:55

, I do .

18:56

Yeah , it's like People

18:58

have asked me though , because you know I

19:00

am Italian and you

19:02

know my grandparents and great-grandparents

19:05

were right off the boat from Italy and

19:07

my great-grandparents spoke very

19:09

broken English , so

19:12

like I had to learn a little bit at

19:14

a very young age to be able to communicate

19:16

with them if I wanted to . But

19:19

people asked me I was like , oh , you're a town , would you ever do a

19:21

show in Italy ? I was like , well , first off , yes

19:24

, because that's a bucket list dream

19:26

of mine is to go to Italy . So if I have a chance

19:28

to work and make money while doing it , fuck

19:30

yeah . But

19:32

there's going to be a language

19:35

barrier because I completely

19:37

forget how to communicate in

19:39

Italian . I know a

19:41

select few words that come out in

19:44

my daily life

19:46

. I guess I still remember

19:48

when my wife

19:50

and I first moved in together . We

19:54

were doing dishes after dinner and

19:56

she was washing them , I was drying them

19:58

, but I don't say what it

20:00

is , but the dish towels were

20:02

on the other side of her

20:04

. So I just turned to her because this is what has

20:06

been said to me for my entire life

20:08

was that was called a mappine . A

20:12

mappine is dish towel in

20:14

Italian . And I turned to her and I

20:16

said , hey , can you hand me the mappine ? And

20:19

she goes what ? I

20:21

said , can you hand me the mappine ? She

20:24

goes hand you what ? And

20:26

now the Italian anger is coming out and I just went

20:28

the mappine and she was like

20:31

OK , you can say it as loud as you want . I don't

20:33

know what the fuck that is . I was like , oh fuck

20:35

, yeah , you're nowhere near done the dish

20:37

towel so I can dry the dishes . And

20:42

she was like the fuck did you call

20:44

it ? And I was like mappine . She's

20:46

like what is it ? I was like dish towel in

20:48

Italian , that's what we've always called them . They're mappines

20:51

, that's what it is . So

20:54

things come out and I'm

20:57

working on a design

20:59

for a new shirt and

21:01

I saw it on a page

21:04

and I'm trying to make it my own and not

21:06

steal theirs . But it's the word

21:08

for basically idiot

21:11

or stupid person in Italian and that's stu-na-d

21:13

and I've

21:15

seen this shirt on . It's

21:18

hardcore Italians . I love

21:20

their merchandise and stuff like that , but it's stu-na-ds

21:22

. I'm surrounded by stu-na-ds and

21:25

I'm trying to think of a way to incorporate

21:27

stu-na-d into my merch

22:08

store . So stupid should hurt merch store . But

22:11

yeah , I know a little bit of Italian

22:13

. Obviously all the bad words . Everyone knows those

22:15

. That's a given , yeah

22:18

.

22:19

I'll say yeah if it's a swear word or

22:21

a type of pasta .

22:24

Yeah , and everyone knows those yeah .

22:28

On the subject of pasta , one

22:31

thing . So I mean America's always

22:33

bastardized Italian food , and I think

22:35

I know why , as I've started to learn how to

22:37

cook more and more of it is . It's just Americans

22:40

don't want to do the dishes , so

22:42

they try to make

22:45

everything as a one pot pasta , and

22:47

that's where they fuck it up . Sometimes

22:50

you just you gotta accept , hey , we're gonna do a

22:52

couple more dishes , but we're gonna do everything , right

22:54

, right ? I

22:56

guess the other thing is on TikTok

22:58

. There's so many TikTok-booking

23:00

videos and it's just a

23:02

bunch of people trying to do these giant

23:05

not-so-old dishes or one pot

23:07

pastas , and then you have an

23:09

entire country on the Mediterranean

23:11

Sea losing their shit , and then

23:13

Americans find that funny , and then

23:15

cycles never ending .

23:17

It's a vicious circle of just people

23:20

pissing off my culture . That's

23:23

what it is .

23:26

I'll say yeah , you're an Italian raised in

23:28

West Virginia , so you're just a confrontation

23:30

machine on both fronts .

23:31

You have no idea . Sometimes

23:34

I do it just to get the blood pressure up and get

23:36

it moving . You know what I mean ? Right , it's

23:39

like . You know what let's fight today . Let's

23:41

have an argument over something stupid . It

23:45

doesn't even like why'd you hang your keys on an ad

23:47

hook instead of that ad hook ? It was a fucking matter where I

23:49

put my goddamn like . You know what I mean . It's

23:53

just , yeah , I find

23:55

little things that I found out and

23:57

my wife

23:59

found out very quickly

24:02

after she met my family for the first

24:04

time , like why I lose my

24:06

shit on a daily basis over the

24:08

smallest thing . It's just an Italian

24:10

thing . We just we

24:12

have very short fuses and

24:15

it doesn't take much to light that fuse

24:17

and get a reaction , and

24:20

I think it's not the mafia that started .

24:23

Yeah , Somebody was just like

24:25

I mean , if

24:27

there's one thing good fellas did accurately

24:30

was just how quickly

24:32

Joe Pashie's character killed

24:35

a made man , just because one small little

24:37

slight you know .

24:38

Yeah .

24:39

You know he knew the consequences . He

24:42

lived his whole life in the mob . But you know just

24:45

one guy that he didn't

24:49

think was funny . He thought

24:51

he was a little too wise . And

24:53

then we know how that ended for him .

24:56

But yeah good , fellas is definitely one of my

24:58

favorite Italian movies of all time

25:00

. I

25:04

was trying to think I had another one on top

25:06

of my head and it just it's gone . It'll

25:08

circle back around here in a minute . My mind's like

25:10

a lazy Susan . If you give it a minute , it'll

25:12

come back around to what you're looking for . But

25:17

so comedy , and

25:19

you know the podcast , the destination podcast

25:21

that I was just recently on

25:23

, and Are

25:25

you recording ? Yes , I am Okay . What's

25:27

up ?

25:29

It's a long story , okay .

25:32

Um , yeah

25:34

, the wife , I don't know . She

25:36

was holding something in her hand and

25:38

she had a concerned look on her face and she goes are

25:40

you recording ? I was like , yes , she

25:43

goes . Oh , it's a

25:45

long story and she just walked away , so

25:48

we'll find that out later here tonight . What happened

25:50

? I don't know what happened . Yes

25:52

, I do want to know what happened .

25:54

I was washing my face in the shower

25:56

and I ripped my nose ring out and

25:59

I didn't know and I couldn't get it in because I can't

26:02

see and I don't like touching my own nose , so

26:05

I put it in my mouth , okay , so

26:07

I go to cough and I accidentally like

26:09

inhale it , in kind of I

26:12

have to like keep coughing to cough it out . So

26:14

I finally cough it out . Now I have it and

26:17

I can't get it in because

26:19

I can't touch my own nose .

26:20

So moral of the story is is you can't get your nose

26:22

ring back in no , I can't . Okay

26:24

, let me finish here . I will put your nose

26:26

ring back in for you , dear . Okay , uh

26:29

, yeah , that's all . That's all

26:31

. That's all . Here's

26:33

the thing , though . She can't touch

26:35

her own . That's the thing . That's the thing

26:37

. Sorry , she can't touch her

26:40

own nose and

26:42

she hates it when I touch her nose , but

26:45

now I have to try to muscle through that and

26:47

put her nose ring back in whenever I'm done

26:49

here . Right ?

26:52

It's going to be a very fun night . Sounds

26:54

like the equivalent of trying to give a cat a bath

26:56

. Yeah , yeah , we did . We've been doing it

26:58

for a long time . It's been fun , but the whole time she's going to be like , ah , wait

27:00

, wait wait , wait , wait .

27:01

We have one cat out of the five . She

27:04

got it . We don't have to worry about it . Everyone Now

27:06

we got it . The one in the back of

27:08

the room we got it . She got it . All

27:10

right , Look at this .

27:12

Oh , let me see it .

27:13

All of them . Oh good , you know , girl

27:16

, I'll touch my other cat's nose ring . You did just that stuff . All right

27:18

, Welcome to the Bono House guys . That's

27:21

, this is what happens in my house

27:23

.

27:25

Now you know what goes on in our house .

27:27

This is , yeah , I definitely . This is why I don't

27:29

need to write material Like this , is why

27:31

there's no material that needs to

27:33

be wrote down at all

27:36

, because , yeah , that's

27:38

gold there , but

27:40

so comedy . How long have you been doing comedy

27:43

?

27:44

So actually , well

27:47

, this will air afterwards . So February 24th

27:49

for

27:52

our recording is Saturday , but February

27:54

24th is my six year anniversary , right

27:57

on . I the

27:59

reason I'm throwing a show , which

28:01

again has already happened since now , but

28:03

the reason I threw a show

28:05

specifically for it , is because I sort

28:07

of almost don't count 2020

28:09

. So if in theory

28:11

, it's five active years

28:14

, right , so that's

28:16

enough of a milestone where I'm

28:18

like , all right , hey , let's do some kind

28:20

of special thing for it . But

28:23

yeah , and then also back

28:26

when I started , as soon as I

28:28

started stand up , I got a

28:30

serious girlfriend only my second

28:33

one . And already I was like

28:35

all right , clearly I'm not even sticking

28:37

true to my purpose for doing stand

28:39

up . I was like the idea is all

28:41

of the women , not just one . But

28:46

no , so we dated for two years . But

28:48

even though right from the get go I had told

28:50

her I'm like hey , I just started

28:52

doing stand up . It's been my dream since I was

28:54

13 . It's going

28:56

well so far . I

28:59

was like so I will be pursuing this . So

29:01

just know , that means there are going to be a couple

29:03

of weekends that I won't be

29:06

here , oh , and there will be all

29:08

over Ohio , over the Midwest , you

29:12

know wherever . And she , at first

29:14

she's like I want to be with you every

29:16

step of the way , I want to fully support you

29:18

. I can't wait to be on

29:20

some award show with you when you

29:23

get some small me to grow in a movie

29:25

or a TV series , something like that . So

29:27

it was like solid , important

29:30

. And then , months later , danger

29:32

to Always guilt , tripped

29:34

me so hard about , you know , never being

29:36

there for her or never helping me

29:39

with her , her son , all

29:41

you know , all that classic stuff . So

29:43

, admittedly , I then also talked

29:46

about five months

29:48

off just to appease her

29:50

. So , yeah

29:53

, yeah , the dance . Your original question

29:55

six years total , give

29:57

or take a couple months due to , uh

29:59

, two different types of infections in my

30:01

life .

30:04

Yeah , um , I

30:06

get it though , uh , because you know

30:08

I I guess I say I've been doing it'll be

30:10

12 years in November of this year of

30:12

2024 , uh

30:14

, but I

30:16

did take a year off , like

30:18

a full year off from doing comedy , like

30:20

I had been grinding

30:23

and just trying to make this a

30:26

thing and driving all over the midwest

30:28

and the east coast and everything

30:31

, just trying hitting different open mics and

30:33

trying to make a name for

30:35

myself . That in like

30:38

the first four

30:40

or five years that I just like burnt myself

30:42

out . That I was just like you

30:44

know what . I'm not even gonna think about comedy

30:47

. I need to just decompress

30:49

and just focus

30:52

on what's important . And

30:54

yeah , that was

30:56

like the longest year of my life and I

30:58

didn't plan on taking like a year off

31:00

. I actually was like , no , I'll take like a month

31:02

, two months off and

31:05

I'll jump back on the horse and

31:07

I just I couldn't do it . I don't know

31:09

why . I was just that burnt out of it

31:11

and so

31:14

, yeah , I mean , I technically I guess 11

31:16

years with that year off , but I

31:18

was still always

31:21

thinking about comedy and

31:23

what's funny and trying to find the funny

31:25

in every situation . Did you have that with your time

31:28

off ?

31:29

Oh , absolutely . Uh

31:32

, that's one thing . Uh , the mind of a comic

31:34

. Never , ever , ever , ever

31:36

, that's off , I

31:38

can't . I

31:41

remember I was like talking to uh

31:44

was talking to a girl a couple months

31:46

ago , or whatever , and I

31:48

even just casually

31:51

mentioned that . I was like , oh

31:53

my god , I

31:55

just saw something I said the first

31:58

time ever I'm not trying

32:00

to think about how I can make this a joke and

32:03

she's even like , uh , okay , congrats

32:05

on being a normal fucking person . Yeah

32:07

, I was like

32:10

glad to glad to hear uh , someone

32:12

dying , that you couldn't spin a joke about

32:14

it . You know like , yeah

32:16

, I was like , oh no , now I have to process

32:18

trauma and all this stuff

32:21

. Uh , I have to actually uh

32:23

deal with it head on and I'll just swerve it with

32:25

by making it a joke .

32:27

Um , so I realized I didn't like that and I went right back

32:29

to my old ways yeah , I

32:32

, uh , I'm convinced that she

32:34

, like the day that happens

32:36

to me is the day it's like time

32:38

to hang up the microphone . Like if I can't

32:41

find the funny in a situation , then

32:43

like , yeah , it's time

32:45

to hang it up . Like I found

32:48

a joke out of my

32:50

grandfather's funeral and

32:54

I I say grandfather , but it

32:56

was my mom's real dad who

32:58

left when she was really young and he I didn't

33:00

meet him until I was 25 years old , so

33:03

we didn't have the best relationship

33:05

. But , uh

33:08

, my grandfather on my dad's side , the

33:11

dego of the group uh

33:13

, he doesn't wear his

33:15

hearing aids and

33:18

he can't hear , and he's a very loud

33:20

Italian as it is , and

33:23

he absolutely loves

33:25

my wife . He loves

33:29

my wife to the point where that's all he wants

33:31

to do is sit and talk with her when we're at family

33:33

get-together . Well , this was one family get-together

33:35

that you probably shouldn't

33:39

be working up . Funny

33:41

conversations . Joking

33:46

on my own spit , all right

33:48

.

33:49

It's the opposite of my podcast .

33:51

I was just saying you had a heart attack on

33:53

your podcast . I'm choking on my own

33:55

spit . We're a mess . Man like this is

33:57

.

33:59

We gotta stop meeting like this . We do

34:01

anyways . So

34:04

Then you will sit down with a Miller light too

34:06

. It's a Micola .

34:07

Ultra , but yes , micol Ultra , okay

34:09

, in my , and I'll give him another shameless

34:11

plug in my buddy's beer-cared Cousy . Yeah

34:14

, I'm

34:17

not choking on my nose ringing , I'll leave that up to

34:19

you , honey , but

34:22

um , so anyways

34:24

and my wife loves this story too , if well

34:26

, because it happened to her one . Well

34:29

, we're sitting there , the funeral hasn't

34:31

started yet , and

34:33

my grandfather did

34:37

not like this man at all

34:39

. He did not like

34:41

my mom's real dad at all . So

34:44

he leads over

34:46

into my wife as if he's gonna

34:48

whisper and

34:50

goes I don't know

34:52

who's gonna come to this . He was

34:54

kind of an asshole and nobody liked

34:57

him , and he said it that loud

34:59

in the middle of

35:01

the funeral parlor . When my mom

35:04

is a mess crying in the front of

35:06

the funeral parlor and

35:09

my dad just goes

35:11

oh Jesus Christ

35:13

, dad , like what are we doing ? Then

35:16

my grandmother turns around , who's equally

35:19

as loud as my grandfather

35:21

, and goes hey , pamph

35:23

, you want to say it a little louder so you

35:25

can wake the dead up there ? This

35:29

is what happened at the start of

35:31

this funeral .

35:33

We still laugh about this to this day

35:35

.

35:37

It's just the

35:39

opening act it . I'm gonna say this it was the best funeral

35:41

I've ever been to in my life and

35:44

it was a family member , so that's the best part

35:46

is because we laughed about that

35:48

and we told every single

35:51

person that walked in to that

35:53

funeral parlor that story

35:55

and it made it a better

35:57

experience , I guess , for everybody . We weren't

35:59

crying , we weren't depressed because

36:01

we lost a family member . We

36:04

were laughing and enjoying the day

36:06

, which I still

36:08

didn't know him that well . I think he would have wanted , but I don't

36:10

know . He was kind of an asshole and

36:12

nobody really liked him . But

36:15

yeah , he said it that loud

36:17

. That was . That was the best part is . He

36:19

absolutely screamed

36:22

this and he leaned into my wife's ear

36:24

like he was gonna whisper to her and didn't whisper

36:26

at all . Right , and that's

36:29

my family . That's that's why

36:31

I don't need to

36:33

actually physically sit at a desk and be like , all

36:35

right , I need to write some jokes . No , there's

36:37

no , that doesn't need to happen .

36:42

That's , that's , that's great . That's

36:44

. That's an example of when keeping it real goes right

36:47

. Yes , yeah

36:50

, my , yeah , my funeral I

36:52

already have . I've already

36:54

, because my parents , they

36:56

they're both getting older

36:58

now and they started to explain some

37:00

health things . So they got real paranoid and we all went

37:02

to our local funeral home

37:04

to , you know

37:06

, write up the write up what happens on the

37:09

planet , the planet , our funeral

37:11

. And I had already written

37:13

in mind that

37:16

I'm having at following

37:18

hours , it will end with a roast of me

37:20

. I already have notified

37:22

the comics like hey , when

37:25

you see my mom make

37:27

a sad Facebook post about and

37:29

speaking about me in past tense , bring

37:32

out the jokes . Yeah , let's

37:35

say , and we already . I got to do

37:38

a version of it while I was alive . This

37:41

year , for my 30th birthday , I

37:44

had a roast of me

37:46

, which , for those of you still watching , you

37:48

can go to my YouTube channel . It's

37:50

on there in its entirety . It's great . My friends

37:52

are assholes , hold on . And

37:55

then also , I have a playlist for

37:58

my . I already sent

38:00

them the playlist for my

38:02

, my following hours and

38:04

just to piss off my parents and my family

38:06

, it is five hours of

38:09

just the most hardcore gangsta

38:11

rap . A match . I

38:15

mean we're talking like songs where , like

38:17

machine guns are an instrument in

38:20

the track , like we're

38:22

hardcore gangsta shit . And

38:24

I just know my parents will be like , you

38:26

know , just when you think you we knew him . You

38:29

know , now

38:31

, just to make them uncomfortable

38:33

, my couple of friends will

38:36

you know , they'll , undoubtedly they'll be loving , they'll

38:38

be vibing , drinking my Miller Highlights because again

38:40

, I also put that in my , my

38:43

funeral arrangements There'll be kegs

38:45

of Miller

38:47

Highlights and Doseckis

38:49

at my , at my

38:51

calling hours , and so

38:53

, yeah , it's gonna be a kegger , it's gonna be a rest . My funeral

38:56

is gonna be the most fun

38:58

show I've ever produced .

38:59

Basically , I'll tell you this right

39:01

now . I'll MC the whole thing just for

39:03

that . Like this , let's get us to

39:05

this .

39:06

Yeah , we'll get . We'll get you on the

39:08

mic , I'll get in there

39:10

and just That'll be the one

39:12

that holds the round cards .

39:15

What ?

39:16

You know it holds up with the written

39:18

one . My wife's gonna be a ring girl

39:20

and hold up the round cards as the comics roast

39:22

you . That's what she just said . She goes , I'm gonna hold

39:24

up the round cards .

39:26

Nice . Yeah

39:29

, the applause and the awe signs yeah

39:32

, absolutely so

39:36

. There'll be a hall . There'll be a hologram of me

39:38

at the end getting my final say you

39:40

know , doing my wrap-up set . Yeah

39:42

, so I mean it'll be a video

39:45

. I don't have Coachella budget

39:47

, I'm not gonna do like the Tupac hologram

39:49

thing . It'll just be someone wheels

39:51

out a TV on , like one of those

39:54

school cards that they they

39:56

had their TVs on , and then someone will put

39:58

it in the VHS and it'll be my VHS , my

40:01

last set .

40:02

We just lost every

40:05

Gen Z listener

40:07

to this show from you , just

40:09

like VHS . What are these dinosaurs talking

40:12

about ? I don't know what is that .

40:14

The TVs that we would in school when

40:16

our teachers were hungover would make

40:18

us watch Magic School Bus on . Or Bill

40:21

and I , the science guy . Now I

40:23

know they know Bill and I .

40:24

Bill and I's best time was he's still , if

40:26

you don't know , bill and I , this is the wrong show

40:28

for you , yeah and

40:31

even then you

41:02

need to know Magic School Bus , that show was

41:04

.

41:04

That show was an acid trip for children

41:06

.

41:07

Oh , hundred percent . Like that was for

41:09

, I think , the stoner parents

41:11

that were stuck home with their kids sick . They're

41:14

like all right , now we're gonna watch this shit , like

41:16

so yeah , that was like all

41:18

right , we're gonna go out back get stoned . You just lay here

41:20

, honey , we're just gonna go outside for a second

41:22

, we'll be right back and

41:26

she comes back and

41:28

just stoned out of her gourd watching Magic

41:30

School Bus . It's the only way to watch it , by

41:32

the way .

41:34

Yeah so , yeah , that's

41:36

.

41:37

That's the funeral plan yeah that that

41:39

is phenomenal , and I

41:41

don't mean this in a bad way . But I can't wait

41:46

. I can't wait for this to happen . I'm

41:48

not gonna be neither .

41:49

If only I could stick around for the reviews . You know

41:51

, yeah , that's the part

41:54

that's gonna kill me as an artist is

41:56

the banger of a

41:58

show that I'm going out on and I don't even get

42:00

to hear the feedback .

42:01

You know , that's , that's the part that kills me

42:03

as a producer you'll be able to watch the

42:06

feedback live , though , as it happens

42:08

, you know what I mean .

42:08

Like that's , yeah , just or

42:11

better yet , I pop out of the casket because I'm faking

42:13

it the whole time , and then everybody hates me for

42:15

the rest of my life that's

42:17

the .

42:18

That's the way to go out , though that that's the way he

42:20

did all this just he .

42:22

He did all this just to hear like eight

42:24

of his friends say one nice thing about

42:26

him he

42:30

just wanted to have a keg in a few moments

42:33

yeah , I'd have to rebrand

42:35

after that . That's the Richardson . The name

42:37

that's Richardson would have to die . I'll , I'll

42:39

come up with some you know new name

42:42

. We got there all either

42:44

shave my head or I'll dye my hair . You know I'll

42:46

, I'll vanish . I'll , I'll go out

42:48

to like North Carolina

42:50

or Arizona

42:53

somewhere .

42:54

Just start a whole new life there you go , man , that

42:57

that's fucking

42:59

hysterical , like that's the best thing

43:01

I've heard in a long time

43:03

. I'm not gonna lie to you here

43:05

. But hey , dustin , we are running

43:07

down near the end of the episode here , but I

43:10

do have to get this one segment in

43:12

, and no , I don't tell any of my guests

43:14

about this segment because I want it to be a surprise

43:17

for the new listeners out there . This

43:19

is the fast Fitty five

43:21

. Five random

43:23

questions from the wonderful manager of

43:25

the podcast , johnny Fitty Falcone

43:28

, and they

43:30

really have nothing to do with what we've been talking

43:32

about for

43:34

the entire what now

43:37

? 40 minutes that we've been talking here

43:39

. They're kind of rapid fire , but you can elaborate

43:41

if you need to . So if you already , all

43:47

right , we're good here , all right . Question

43:50

number one if a guy has

43:53

his ear pierced , when

43:55

is it appropriate age to stop wearing

43:58

earrings ?

44:02

so it's my belief the

44:05

appropriate age to stop wearing

44:07

earrings is a year

44:09

before you made the decision to pierce

44:11

your ears at all . That's

44:16

one thing I don't do . I have

44:18

tattoos . I mean I'm actually getting work

44:21

done recently . I have

44:23

another session in March but

44:25

I can do tattoos . Piercings has been one

44:28

thing I just never been on board with

44:30

at all . And

44:32

with the ears , you know , there's like

44:34

you know there's the I know I'm really

44:36

killing the rapid fire of this but like then

44:39

there's the whole , like do you get the one or do you have to get

44:41

both ? Because then there's like you had to know which

44:43

one and sends the right message

44:45

. You know stuff like that

44:47

absolutely .

44:48

Question number two is

44:51

Applebee's or Olive Gardening a

44:53

better restaurant

44:57

?

44:58

I'm gonna say Applebee's actually

45:00

good call . At least Applebee's

45:03

isn't completely bastardizing a

45:05

culture . Applebee's is just acknowledging hey

45:08

, you know we do American food

45:10

kind of cheap and a shitty , and

45:12

they know that . So I respect them for that yeah

45:15

, 100% .

45:17

Question number three breakfast , lunch or

45:19

dinner which is the best meal

45:22

to go out to eat ?

45:26

um , so I personally

45:28

, I would usually say dinner , but

45:30

that being said , I

45:33

almost have to always eat out for lunch

45:35

anyway . So

45:37

I always find myself eating out for lunch , so

45:40

maybe the idea of going out for dinner as well

45:42

is like extra special okay

45:44

, okay .

45:46

Question number four if you had the chance

45:48

to be a plumber or a truck

45:50

driver for the rest of your life

45:53

, which one would you pick ?

46:00

not by much , but a trucker

46:02

, yeah , cuz I mean I already

46:05

put a lot of time out on the road

46:07

going to gigs and everything and it's it's

46:10

mentally and spiritually exhausting

46:12

, but at least you

46:14

know trucks often usually have decent

46:16

food , there's a lot

46:18

lizards and you don't have to deal

46:21

with other people shit literally

46:23

.

46:24

Yeah , I say plumber , you're just gonna catch crap

46:26

all day long . So yeah , yeah

46:28

. Question

46:31

number five is hot

46:34

tea overrated or underrated

46:36

?

46:39

I hot tea . I will say

46:41

underrated , especially

46:45

, you know , here in America . Now that means that I'm

46:47

a sweet tea man till the day

46:49

I die . That'll be on my death or a meal . But

46:52

no , I do . I love a good hot tea . I

46:54

think it's underrated . I'm sure if I lived in Europe

46:56

I would be tired of it and say it's overrated

46:58

. But you know , that's the creamer

47:00

yeah , I mean hot

47:04

tea .

47:04

You know , as as two

47:06

guys it literally make a living talking

47:08

to people . You know it does . It does help

47:11

the the vocal cords in the throat

47:13

a little bit . So yeah , I

47:15

guess there's some positives there . But

47:17

unless it's

47:19

sweet tea , all teas hot garbage , it's

47:23

my take on it . But that was

47:25

a fast , fruity five . I feel like . I

47:28

feel like he took it a little easy on you . But

47:31

yeah , he's he

47:33

. He seems to have these weird obsessions

47:35

with

47:38

these questions for a while

47:41

and it's a lot about a person for for

47:43

a while there , there was

47:46

an animal question in every single

47:49

set of questions . He's

47:52

now slowly transitioning

47:54

. That to food is . What I've noticed

47:56

is like there's always a food or a restaurant

47:58

question , but typically

48:00

for the new listeners out there

48:03

, then we'll wrap the show up here . Johnny

48:07

Fitty Falcote to live inside of his

48:09

mind for a day would

48:11

probably send you to a mental ward

48:13

, because one

48:16

of the questions that he literally had

48:18

was

48:22

okay , mike

48:25

Tyson , connor McGregor

48:27

, batman

48:29

and a bear are trapped

48:31

in a racquetball court . Who comes

48:33

out alive ? Like

48:37

those are the types of things that

48:39

we normally get on the fast 55

48:41

and

48:46

wait .

48:47

It's a Conor McGregor , mike Tyson , a

48:49

bear , and who ? Batman ? Batman

48:52

. So here's the question , and this

48:54

is coming from a nerd how much

48:56

is this a random encounter , or

48:59

does Batman have 24 hour prep

49:01

time ?

49:01

he does not have 24 hour prep time ?

49:04

this is a random encounter .

49:05

Okay , randomly trapped in a racquetball

49:07

court

49:09

. So .

49:10

I would still you're

49:13

saying I'd still go Batman . He

49:16

would be able to have gadgets , he would hide himself

49:18

up in the corner while the bear ate the others

49:21

, and then he would have

49:23

some way of subduing the bear from

49:25

above that was

49:27

the quickest answer anybody's ever given to that

49:29

kind of question , though I'll give you that , but

49:32

like people normally like , overthink

49:34

it .

49:34

But you're probably not .

49:35

You're probably right , batman for

49:37

sure yeah , batman smart enough , he would be like

49:39

, hey , the others , I mean they

49:41

can fight , but it's a bear , so

49:43

it's a fucking bear you let the bear , wipe

49:45

the the rest of the competition out and then

49:48

, while he's up in the corner

49:50

, you hang in from like a bat or anger , some shit

49:52

like that . He'd be able to like be

49:54

like alright , I land here , go

49:57

for a weak spot . You know something ?

49:59

yeah , absolutely , but

50:02

, like I

50:04

said , we're running down to the end of the episode

50:06

. I give every guest this opportunity at the

50:08

end of every episode . I'm

50:11

gonna give you about a minute if there's anything you want

50:13

to get out there , any upcoming shows and he

50:15

talked about your podcast or even if it's just a good

50:17

message . Gonna give you about a minute and the floor is yours

50:19

, marin okay , all right , awesome .

50:21

So I'm trying to think here , march

50:23

29th if you're anywhere near Newark

50:26

or not

50:28

, march 29th . I'm

50:30

trying to think here . I'm not looking

50:32

at my notes here I have , I have something on

50:34

March 29th , okay . And

50:37

then I have

50:39

a show in April , april 27th

50:41

in Columbus bossy , real spirit

50:44

of joint . May 4th

50:46

, I have the roast of Luke

50:48

Skywalker and , yeah

50:51

, check out my YouTube channel . It

50:54

just searched my name . It should come up . I have

50:56

my hour long-stamp special grown-up

50:58

on there . I also have the roast of me on there

51:00

. I have only podcast episodes . See

51:04

what else . Social media the

51:07

real Destin Richardson on Instagram . I

51:09

know Facebook and

51:11

if you're a single woman ages 18 through

51:13

59 , you

51:17

can text me at 740

51:22

that's the best way probably

51:24

to end is giving your phone

51:27

number out to remember

51:29

why I do comedy . I know why

51:31

.

51:31

But the given out to 18 to 59

51:33

year olds like that's smack

51:35

dab in the middle of my demographic according

51:38

to my I love .

51:39

I love Cougars , so

51:41

yeah , but we're

51:44

gonna edit there .

51:45

That's gonna do it for this week's episode of the

51:47

Ride Home Rance podcast . Again

51:50

, I want to thank my guest , destin Richardson

51:52

, the king of Newark , for joining

51:54

the show here today

51:56

. As always , if you

51:58

enjoyed the show , be a friend , tell a friend

52:01

. If you didn't tell him anyways , they might

52:03

like it just because you didn't , that's gonna

52:05

do it for me and I will see y'all

52:07

next week .