0:08

Motherhood

0:08

is hard. One second,

0:10

we think we're doing a good enough job, and the

0:12

next, we feel like the worst mom on

0:14

the planet. which is why we need the

0:16

refreshing truth of the gospel to be repeated

0:19

over and over, giving us hope in

0:21

the everyday moments. So, mama,

0:23

whether you're sipping cold coffee or doing a sink

0:25

full of dishes, we hope you find truth,

0:27

encouragement, and laughter here.

0:30

This is the Risen Motherhood Podcast.

0:33

Thanks for joining us.

0:39

Hey friends, Laura here. Welcome to another episode

0:41

of The Rismotherhood Podcast. Today, we have a special

0:43

show that Emily and I recorded live at the One

0:45

Conference at my home church in Iowa.

0:48

It's always fun to have these conversations, not

0:50

just behind the mic, but in front of real

0:52

high women who are facing questions and struggles

0:54

of their own. In today's show, we are

0:56

talking all about beauty and physical appearance.

0:58

As part of the what we're still talking about series,

1:00

we're taking topics that we visited early

1:03

on in our ministry and we're aging them up. looking

1:05

at how the same gospel truths still apply

1:07

even if the specific questions we're asking have

1:09

changed over time. And that's literally what

1:11

we're focusing on today. Aging, Even

1:13

if wrinkles and gray hair aren't on the forefront

1:15

of your mind or conversations today, it's

1:18

probably something that's influencing the way you

1:20

steward your physical appearance. so stay tuned

1:22

for that whole conversation. Also,

1:24

we know it's almost that time of year where you're probably

1:26

starting to think about holidays and gifts. We

1:28

know firsthand how hard it can be to find something

1:30

meaningful, intentional, and lovely for the person

1:33

you love. But don't worry, we have you

1:35

covered. Every year, Wizahood releases

1:37

a gift guide with specific ideas for yourself,

1:39

your husband, your mother-in-law, your own

1:41

mother, your mom friend, and your kids. All

1:43

the gifts listed are twenty five dollars or less.

1:46

You know we love books here at Rismotherhood, so

1:48

we'll have several of our favorites listed, including

1:50

my new book, like me, a picture book for

1:52

kids about disability. Whatever type

1:54

of gift or age you're looking for, we probably

1:56

have something for you. Head to the link in our

1:58

show notes or visit our website

2:00

to see our pets. Okay. On

2:01

to the show.

2:05

Over the years in our motherhood when

2:07

we were like, you know, spray young mothers in

2:09

our twenties, The biggest question was

2:11

kind of like, hey, do I wear joggers or jeans today?

2:13

You know? Or it was, what's the best

2:15

under eye concealer that I can buy? And you're

2:17

asking all of your friends to help hide the dark

2:19

circles. Like, those were, like, some of the bigger questions

2:22

we were asked. Like, how many days can I go

2:24

without showering? Yeah. At least that's too many

2:26

days. For sure. You gotta

2:28

train your hair. Right? Or something like that? Yeah.

2:31

And I think when you first become a mom,

2:33

it does shake up what you're doing

2:35

with your physical appearance a little bit.

2:37

Maybe, you know, you don't have as much time

2:39

anymore to devote to

2:41

just kind of physical appearance

2:43

thing, brushing your hair, changing your clothes,

2:45

things like that, or children are spitting

2:47

up on you, or you just, you know, your

2:49

professional clothes, your dry clean only things

2:51

don't fit as well anymore. And

2:54

so we really were just

2:56

thinking about those types of questions, but

2:58

then we turned thirty five. Yeah.

3:01

It was it was like we were ten years into

3:03

motherhood and like a switch flipped.

3:06

And suddenly, it felt like a lot of the

3:08

conversations that we were having with our mom

3:10

friends really transitioned from

3:12

not just, hey, how do I not look so tired like I've

3:14

been up all night with a baby? They started

3:16

transitioning to like, hey, how am I not gonna

3:18

look like I'm getting old. How do

3:20

I look like I'm still young

3:23

and and, you know, beautiful and

3:25

that I care about my appearance and that I'm I'm

3:27

still worth something. The questions we're starting

3:29

to change to things like, you know,

3:32

how many grace do you count in there? And like, do you

3:34

see how the light beacons off of it on the top

3:36

of my head? And who's the best colorist in

3:38

town and how far do I have to drive to get to her?

3:40

Yeah, and a lot of us in our our

3:42

thirties served the millennial generation and

3:44

you go on TikTok now. They are making fun

3:46

of some of our favorite stuff. to start

3:48

getting made fun of. So, you know,

3:50

we we love, like, the big sweaters and

3:52

the big time things, but it is becoming

3:54

a conversation now. Like, well, how

3:57

do you dress, like, a

3:59

twenty five year old when you're forty five. How

4:01

are we gonna keep up with those models? teach

4:03

us. I know. I don't yeah. Well, I can

4:06

Well, then the other thing that started happening was women

4:08

were kind of hesitantly starting to talk about, hey,

4:10

have you ever thought about Botox? Hey, have you ever

4:12

thought about a tummy tuck? you ever thought about breast augmentation?

4:14

So some of these bigger questions started

4:17

coming up that we hadn't personally

4:19

really thought of Emily and myself, but we

4:21

know that it's becoming more and more

4:23

common for Botox to be something that

4:25

women do. I mean, studies now talk about women

4:27

in their their young twenties because of accessibility

4:30

and the the lower cost of it

4:32

and even sometimes like medicinal benefits,

4:34

people are saying, hey, BOTOX has become

4:36

more normalized. So now it's a more normal part

4:38

of the conversation. where in the past,

4:40

it just it didn't seem to be a part of it. So

4:42

things are changing rapidly and emulating our thing.

4:44

How do we keep up? Yeah. All

4:46

the things that we're really noticing have to

4:48

do with the pressures that

4:50

culture puts on us to

4:53

look young as long as possible.

4:55

And even though I would say you and I probably

4:58

don't have aging like, the front of

5:00

mind on a daily basis. I don't get up get

5:02

up in the morning worrying about that. You

5:04

don't. At the same time, I've

5:06

noticed over the last couple of years that I

5:08

have changed some things in my routine to

5:10

keep that in mind. Like, I'm really

5:12

being careful to wash my face every night now

5:14

and put on special ointments and creams

5:16

because I wanna not, you know,

5:18

get wrinkles if I don't have to

5:20

or I started coloring my hair cover

5:22

up those twenty pesky grays or whatever.

5:25

And I did have to stop and think, like, why

5:27

did I just automatically start

5:29

doing these things nobody

5:31

was asking me to, but that was the

5:33

default that I moved to in kind of

5:35

my beauty care routine

5:37

as I'm entering the

5:39

near forty stage. So

5:42

when we're talking about this aging conversation

5:44

and we're talking about, hey,

5:46

microblading and BOTOX, and and

5:48

even just putting on our makeup or how much makeup

5:50

is okay. I think what we all want

5:52

is women are the rules. Right? We want to

5:54

know, okay. I can wear makeup,

5:56

but if I get a full face lift and

5:58

totally change my face, like, that would be too far.

6:00

And then we wanna know kind of in between there,

6:02

well, what does God have to say about that? And

6:05

the reality is is that there's

6:07

nothing in scripture that says thou

6:09

shalt not Botox or thou shalt not

6:11

micro blade or anything like that. And so there's

6:13

no clear prescriptive rules in

6:15

scripture. And when that happens, what

6:17

we have to do is say, okay, I know there are clear

6:19

commands in scriptures. I shouldn't lie. Right?

6:21

We shouldn't covet. We shouldn't steal. Those are all

6:23

very clear explicit commands that God gives us

6:26

that all Christians would say, yes,

6:28

those are true. That's biblically true.

6:30

But when it's not explicit, when we're kind of

6:32

dealing with more of these great areas, we

6:34

have to look at the meta narrative scripture

6:36

or the overarching principles that God gives

6:38

us in his word and say, okay, well,

6:40

how do these principles, the way that

6:42

I know God works through his story?

6:44

Well, how do they apply to these everyday moments?

6:46

And I I think for a lot of us, we would say,

6:48

like, Well, if it's not in scripture, it God

6:51

must not care. But the reality is

6:53

that scripture really does speak to

6:55

every moment of our lives, and that God really does

6:57

care about everything that we do. And

6:59

one of those tools that God gives us to help us

7:01

discover what his plans

7:03

and his cares are for our lives is our

7:05

personal conscience. And I wish I had

7:07

two hands right now, but I'm holding a mic.

7:09

But essentially, you have

7:11

the holy spirit. If you're if you're not familiar with pushed a

7:13

conscience. I'm gonna give you, like, a very high

7:15

level overview. And if

7:17

you want more on this or you feel like, hey, I didn't

7:19

quite understand, we would encourage you to

7:21

go back and listen personal conscience is a

7:23

big part of Emily and I's work that we do at Rise and

7:25

Motherhood, and we have tons

7:27

of more thorough shows on this topic.

7:29

But for our conversation today, here's

7:31

what you need to understand is that your conscience

7:34

is different than the holy spirit. Right? We have the

7:36

holy spirit as Christians living in us

7:38

And the holy spirit is exactly

7:41

aligned with God's word every single time.

7:43

It it tells us what exactly right and

7:45

wrong is. but all of us also have our conscience

7:47

working on us. And that's your own personal

7:49

sense of what is right or wrong.

7:51

Now the goal of the Christian is

7:53

to align our personal conscience exactly

7:56

with the holy spirit. But because we're

7:58

still sinners, we live in a fallen world,

8:00

it's gonna be close, but it's not

8:02

gonna be exact. Right? It's not gonna

8:04

always you're not gonna always know

8:06

exactly what God has for you in

8:08

that situation. And your personal conscience

8:11

is really formed by your

8:13

theology. how you understand what god

8:15

god's work in the world is and what the bible

8:17

says, but it's also formed by

8:20

your upbringing. Right? What your mom did? What

8:22

your dad did? what your friends currently

8:24

do, what you're taking in on social media,

8:26

what your personality is, your

8:28

tendencies, your gifting, where

8:30

you work, where you live, it's formed

8:32

by all sorts of things that sort

8:34

of can kind of shift it. And again, if if

8:36

we're aligning those two things, it's just

8:38

maybe it's close, but it it can be a little

8:40

bit off or it could be really far from God's

8:42

word. And maybe you've just become a believer and

8:44

there is a lot like Paul, you've got a lot

8:46

of things to figure out to try to get in

8:48

alignment with the holy spirit. And so

8:51

that is really important we think in this

8:53

conversation and in

8:55

particular cultural norms. And and I

8:57

think, you you talk about You'll do better.

8:59

Okay. Cool chill norms. Well,

9:01

I I think as we're talking about aging, we're

9:03

we're already getting into this at the beginning of this

9:05

show. There's like a water that we

9:07

swim in in our culture that

9:09

says you should not

9:11

age. And that is informing a

9:13

lot of decisions that we make. Now,

9:15

Every day, we all adhere to

9:18

social, societal norms in

9:20

the way that we look and the way that we care for

9:22

our physical appearance. for

9:24

instance. When I got up this morning,

9:26

my my bun was like sticking up all

9:28

over the place. I had hair falling out the

9:30

back. I had my husband socks

9:32

on. know, my pajamas. And

9:34

if I would have just gotten

9:36

out of bed and come here today

9:39

looking like that, it would have

9:41

been very distracting to you

9:43

guys. Right? It would have been like, what is

9:45

going on with Emily? Why does she

9:47

look like that? Why would she come here in her

9:49

pajamas? And potentially, it would even run

9:51

the risk of becoming the talk of

9:53

the whole conference, was Emily showing up

9:55

in her pajamas. And not,

9:58

here's what I learned in scripture. you

10:00

know, I had this great conversation with my

10:02

friend. I left thinking about this

10:04

application God has for my life. It would

10:06

just be a distraction. And

10:08

so when we adhere to cultural

10:11

or societal norms for appearance, it

10:13

can be a way of showing honor,

10:16

showing respect, I like, you know, Paul

10:18

talks about when he was ministering the

10:20

gospel to different people in different places. He

10:22

would say, hey, I'd become all things to all people.

10:24

He would maybe change

10:26

some things that he did or said

10:28

depending on who he was with. And so

10:30

there's just an element of that that,

10:32

you know, we are going to do things that

10:34

are normal to whatever friend group

10:36

that we're in or perhaps you've got

10:38

ten people that you love to follow

10:40

online and you just kind of eat up

10:42

everything they say and any link

10:44

that they post you follow and any special

10:46

cream that they use you buy.

10:48

And so we have to realize, like, how

10:50

heavily influenced we

10:52

are by some of those things. But

10:55

just like Laura is talking about with the

10:57

personal conscience and the holy spirit, we have to

10:59

recognize that just because something is

11:01

normal doesn't make it

11:03

right. and it doesn't necessarily make

11:05

it right for us. And so

11:07

our hope in having these conversations

11:09

as Laura and I are talking and or

11:11

challenging you guys today is to

11:13

stop and say, have

11:15

I thought about this a little bit?

11:17

Have I thought about what Scripture says? Have

11:19

I thought about what God might want

11:21

me to do? Have I thought about how this

11:24

aligns with his design for my life

11:26

and beauty? And we can't tell you the answers

11:28

to those questions. We're still figuring that out

11:30

for ourselves, but the the question,

11:32

Ian, is the place that it starts.

11:34

Yeah. So we wanna just bring you along in our

11:36

questioning. And again, like I said at the

11:38

beginning, like our whole posture is very

11:40

much to come alongside women. It isn't saying

11:42

we have all the answers. And so these are just

11:44

some questions we're asking. We're hopeful that it will

11:46

serve as fodder for you as you leave

11:48

today and can think through these things more

11:51

deeply and, you know, like with most

11:53

decisions that we face in life,

11:55

God is more concerned with

11:57

your heart attitude than he is what

11:59

you actually end up doing. And so for some

12:01

of you in this room, you probably have

12:03

gone through and done some procedures and

12:05

done different things. And you

12:07

are feeling maybe an inkling of guilt or

12:09

something, but that is not our goal at

12:11

all today. And we do not wanna keep any

12:13

condemnation or guilt on anyone. The

12:15

Lord is gonna work individually. The Holy

12:17

Spirit's gonna work in you. with your

12:19

personal conscience to help show you

12:21

what is right for you and what is wrong,

12:23

and we want to just remind

12:25

you that, like, no matter what and where you walk

12:27

out of this conversation from. That is

12:29

gracious and kind and he

12:31

loves you and it's it's far

12:33

less again about kinda what you

12:35

do and it's much more about

12:37

how your heart posture is in the midst

12:39

of it. In the midst of it. Sorry, Mike. Always give out there.

12:41

Alright, Les. So let's dig into some of the

12:43

questions. The first

12:45

one is, do we believe

12:47

that older women, grandmas, great

12:50

grandmas, aunties, great

12:52

aunties, older women still

12:54

have tremendous purpose. and

12:57

value. You know,

12:59

I think it's interesting because some of

13:01

us, you know, we've accepted the concept

13:03

that we're going to age. We know

13:05

that. But then at the same time,

13:07

our actions don't show that

13:09

we're valuing older women in the church or it's

13:11

like, well, why are we so scared of getting old if

13:13

we don't think it's a big deal. So we wanna kinda dig into

13:15

that. Yeah. And and just theologically,

13:17

I mean, I think we most of you guys

13:19

are gonna know this, but you know, Genesis one and

13:21

two says that God made us

13:23

women in his image and he

13:25

declared it very good. I mean, right

13:27

from the beginning of time, we know that our bodies

13:29

are good and At that time, Adam and he

13:31

probably didn't age the way that that

13:33

we do, but we can

13:35

see that God was intentional with his

13:37

his design. You know, think of David talking

13:39

in Psalm one thirty nine for I am

13:41

fearfully and wonderfully made. God

13:43

intentionally chose these eyes, this

13:45

knows these lips, the shape and contours of

13:47

our face. And he said, that is

13:49

going to be Laura Whiffler. That is going to be Emily

13:52

Johnson. I have picked those things. And it's

13:54

it's incredibly important to just remember that there

13:56

is an intention there and that

13:58

he has picked and

13:59

selected those things and said that's very

14:02

good. Yeah. And so along with the

14:04

reality of the design and just

14:06

our image bearing status being

14:08

what gives us value, not our

14:10

age, you know, not how

14:12

trendy we are. It's it's our image

14:14

bearing status that gives us value,

14:16

even in a post fall world, as

14:18

our bodies are aging, we are

14:20

headed towards the grave, God

14:22

still includes older women

14:24

as an essential part of his

14:26

church and as an essential part of the

14:28

kingdom work that's happening there.

14:30

So Of course, the famous passage that most of

14:32

us know is Titus two.

14:34

Older women are to be training younger

14:36

women. and that's a

14:38

really beautiful picture and it's a nice

14:41

relative sliding term, but it

14:43

shows that, hey, the grandmothers in

14:45

the church matter, the great grandmothers in

14:47

the church matter. God thinks that

14:49

they have wisdom to pour into the

14:51

younger generation. It's not a bad thing.

14:53

It's a good thing. In

14:55

addition, there's verses like proper

14:57

sixteen thirty one where God says gray

14:59

hair is glorious. And, you

15:01

know, whether or not that means like

15:03

literal gray hair The picture

15:05

that that's giving is this idea

15:07

that with h comes

15:09

wisdom and sanctification, and

15:11

that is beautiful. That is a

15:13

great thing. It's not a bad thing.

15:16

Additionally, we see and I think this is

15:18

in proverbs as well that, you know,

15:20

beauty and charm are fleeting.

15:22

youth

15:22

is fleeting. You're not gonna hang

15:24

on to it, but it tells us that

15:27

women who fear the lord are to

15:29

be praised. and there's not an age limit

15:31

on fearing the lord. In

15:33

fact, I think that in

15:35

god's kind of economy of

15:37

beauty, the older someone gets,

15:40

the more perhaps they may fear

15:42

the lord. The more they may

15:44

grow in peace and

15:46

joy and self control and

15:48

patience and Christ likeness. And

15:50

so in some ways, in the church,

15:53

As you age, if you are walking with

15:55

Christ, you're becoming more and

15:57

more and more beautiful,

15:59

not

15:59

less and less and less beautiful like her

16:02

culture would tell us. And so I think we have to

16:04

write that understanding of

16:06

aging in the kingdom of God and say,

16:08

no. I don't have to be like, oh, I'm so worried

16:10

about getting old. I'm so worried about aging,

16:12

but, yeah,

16:13

I hope I look that beautiful in

16:15

Christ like someday. Mhmm. Yeah.

16:17

And as we kinda put on that mindset,

16:19

the next question that we're asking is

16:22

How do our choices and our actions

16:24

regarding aging show what kind of

16:26

beauty we value? And there

16:28

was this really I can't

16:30

even hear this. There's this really

16:32

funny quote. I don't know if it's funny. It's disgusting.

16:34

Okay. Kim Kardashian y'all, we

16:36

just have to bring her up into this conversation.

16:39

Somebody was asking you, hey, what would you

16:41

do? Like, how extreme or

16:43

what crazy thing would you do if you knew that it

16:45

would make you stay looking young.

16:47

And she said, and I quote, I

16:49

would probably eat poop. She didn't

16:52

use poop. But I would probably eat poop

16:54

if someone told me. If you eat this bowl of poop

16:56

every single day, you'll look younger.

16:59

And she was pressed on this in

17:01

a second interview. and

17:03

she doubled down on this quote. Yeah. She's she's like,

17:05

yeah. I'm I absolutely would do that.

17:07

And I know it's super disgusting.

17:09

What do you think about that? There's

17:11

how what extremes she would

17:13

be willing to go to to say, yeah, I wanna look

17:15

young, I wanna keep my youthful beauty. And

17:17

now I think all of us in this room very

17:19

easily. Collectively would say, that

17:21

is too far. Like

17:22

that, no, that is wrong. You

17:25

value your youth and your

17:27

beauty too much. that's

17:29

not okay. But so

17:31

often, a lot of the choices and

17:33

decisions that we are making in our

17:35

lives, we are not giving a second thought to. And

17:37

we may not be willing to

17:39

eat poop, but

17:41

we may be willing to do a lot of things

17:43

without at least saying, hey, am I

17:46

thinking critically about this? Just simply

17:48

because we desire to stay young, it's the water

17:50

we swim in like we're talking about. And so we've

17:52

kind of developed some of these litmus tests

17:54

to help us think, okay, I

17:56

am wanting to you know, I'm

17:57

gonna wanna wear makeup this morning or hey,

17:59

I'm considering something more

18:02

significant, how do we

18:04

determine in our own hearts whether or not

18:06

that is right for us? So here's here's some limits

18:08

as we want to go through. Okay.

18:10

Yeah. The the first one would be just

18:12

thinking about how much money we're willing to

18:14

spend on something. So everyone's

18:16

financial situation is going to

18:18

be different. For some people, a procedure is gonna be a

18:20

lot of money. It would be a huge sacrifice.

18:22

For others, it may just kind of

18:24

fit into their budget and it's not even a big thing.

18:26

It's not even something that they notice. So

18:28

I think as we're considering how much money

18:30

am I willing to spend on this, we have to think

18:32

about this in terms of our finances

18:34

like are we struggling to tithe and

18:37

struggling to give to missionaries

18:39

and struggling to be generous, but

18:41

then we're willing to go

18:43

into debt for a procedure or we'll just

18:45

swipe our credit card for any

18:47

type of new makeup or, you

18:49

know, we're spending hundreds of

18:51

dollars, you know, every six weeks to get our hair And

18:53

so again, we're not saying, hey, that's

18:55

wrong for everyone, but we have to think

18:57

about, hey, what is the fact that

18:59

I'm willing to do this much

19:02

to have this thing make me look younger. What is

19:04

that saying about what I really,

19:06

really care about? Another one

19:08

would be time. time

19:11

as in, like, how how

19:13

much do I spend researching this? How much

19:15

do I spend thinking about this? You know,

19:17

sometimes there's lead up to an appointment. There's

19:19

an appointment time. There's recovery afterwards and

19:21

then, oh, yeah, you have to come back every

19:23

three months until you die. Otherwise, this will

19:25

stop working. And so we

19:27

have to go, okay, again, if I'm

19:30

struggling to serve in my church, I'm struggling to

19:32

find time to read to my kids at night. I'm

19:34

struggling to find time to do things that God

19:36

is for sure called me to

19:38

do, but I have a lot of time to keep

19:40

these appointments or to

19:42

invest in my beauty or

19:44

my anti aging routine, we have to just evaluate, like, is

19:46

something off there. And another one

19:48

is risk. You know, something like

19:50

makeup is fairly low risk. You might

19:52

get a rash. shift, maybe it doesn't dry with

19:54

your skin. But in general, you can

19:56

just wipe it off at the end of the

19:58

day. But something

20:00

like a larger procedure that you have to go under,

20:02

you have to receive anesthesia, there's

20:04

a significant risk

20:06

compared to something like makeup. And

20:08

so just kind of asking yourself, hey, is this a risk that

20:10

I'm really willing to take? Is this really

20:13

worth that risk of of going

20:15

under or or whatever it might be?

20:17

And there's also kind of that risk of permanency.

20:19

I often think about a

20:21

lot of even just girlfriends that have tattoos

20:23

from when they were eighteen, you know? And like

20:25

how many women are like around with tattoos

20:27

that they now today are like, hey, I kinda

20:29

regret that that I made that decision at eighteen. And

20:32

sometimes I think that can happen if we say,

20:34

hey, wanna change my physical appearance and

20:36

you might love it now, but maybe it

20:38

doesn't age as well or maybe it's not something that

20:40

in thirty years you're going to like

20:42

and we can change a lot of

20:44

things but you have to continue and then go back to kinda like time

20:46

and money, and it kinda becomes this cycle.

20:48

And so just asking and evaluating,

20:50

is that really something that I'm

20:52

willing to take the risk on. Another question

20:54

we can ask ourselves is

20:56

how transparent am I willing to be

20:59

about this? you know, sometimes I think

21:01

even a good litmus test of this is

21:03

within our, you know, church

21:05

community or our Christian friends specifically.

21:07

So you the world it is getting more

21:09

and more common to do different things. But if I

21:11

feel like I can't tell my

21:14

closest to you know, believing friends that

21:16

love the Lord. If I felt like I would be

21:18

deeply ashamed to tell them that

21:20

I invested in this thing so that

21:22

I could stop my wrinkles. Well, you

21:24

know, again, might

21:25

be wrong, might not be wrong, but that's worth pausing and

21:27

saying, why do I feel like I can't

21:29

share that with people? What's

21:32

going on there? Additionally, if

21:34

you know, there are some people who tell, I'm gonna draw these things, but

21:36

I don't want anyone to know I'm doing it because

21:39

I just want to look like I'm

21:41

young naturally. It's effortless. It's

21:43

effortless. And we're not saying, hey,

21:45

the flip side to that is anytime

21:47

you go get your roots colored,

21:49

go on to social media and be like,

21:51

I just covered all my grays y'all or

21:54

whatever. But again, is

21:56

there a sense of, like, transparency that, you know,

21:58

I'm not I'm not embarrassed of this. I'm not ashamed of

22:00

this. Within reason, I can talk about it with other

22:02

people in my life, and it's

22:04

it's not not a big deal. And so

22:06

everyone's answers to these are going to be

22:08

really different. and you may be sitting next

22:10

to someone who comes to totally different

22:12

answers, and you may both be

22:14

right. And that's totally

22:16

okay I think that it's an interesting

22:18

spectrum because you can be someone

22:20

who has a lot of pride and says, okay, I

22:22

have to do all these things to make sure that I look beautiful. I

22:24

won't go out of the house without makeup. I have

22:26

to make sure I dye my hair every three months and

22:28

all those things. And it's it's out of a heart of

22:31

saying because I'm afraid that people will see who what

22:33

I really look like and I don't wanna look old. but

22:35

you can also be somebody who does absolutely

22:37

nothing. Makeup free, no hair,

22:39

just, you know, rolls out a bed like Emma

22:41

was mentioning this morning. and

22:43

yet also be filled with the heart of pride that says, well,

22:45

I'm totally secure. Like, I don't I don't need that. Like,

22:47

all those other women are so insecure and you have a

22:50

heart of judgment and you have a heart

22:52

that says, that you are better than

22:54

other women because you don't need that

22:56

stuff. And so there is not

22:58

necessarily a right answer here.

23:01

Again, we're looking at those heart motivation Mhmm.

23:04

Another question we wanna ask is,

23:06

you know, what would it look like for

23:08

me to emphasize or

23:11

invest in eternal beauty and

23:13

internal beauty in

23:15

my life. And so there is

23:17

a passage in first Peter

23:19

chapter three that I think of when this

23:22

conversation of internal beauty

23:24

comes up because Peter

23:26

is talking to different groups

23:28

of people in kind of the persecuted scattered

23:31

church in Asia. And so he's

23:33

going through, hey, husbands, here's

23:35

what you should do, children. Here's what

23:37

you should do. and he he's helping them understand what

23:40

it would look like to adorn the

23:42

gospel in their lives. And that

23:44

word adorn means to

23:46

make something more beautiful or to highlight

23:48

its beauty. So one thing that helps me

23:50

understand this concept is the idea

23:52

of a painting and, you know,

23:54

it's it's absolutely beautiful and gorgeous and it's gonna get

23:57

hung in a gallery.

23:59

And so

23:59

what do you do? You pick out a frame

24:02

for that painting. so

24:04

that it just helps. So that when

24:06

somebody's walking through, they don't see the raw

24:08

edges, it the frame that's chosen

24:10

should seek to draw your eye to

24:12

the painting So

24:14

if you're going down to the Des Moines Art Museum and

24:16

there's a painting from the sixteen hundred

24:18

and it has a hot pink frame, when

24:20

you walk in, you're eye is gonna go right to that

24:22

frame and you're not gonna be talking about the picture, you're

24:24

gonna be distracted by the frame.

24:26

And so again, Peter is trying to help them

24:28

say what things in your

24:30

life will

24:30

help draw attention to Christ

24:33

and the gospel at work in your life. And these

24:35

are the things he emphasizes for

24:37

these women. He says, hey, it's in your

24:39

actions and your conduct. It's in

24:41

the respect that you show. It's in

24:43

your submission to your own husband. It's in

24:46

refusing to live in fear and

24:48

caring well for your own

24:50

family. And he also digs into physical appearance

24:52

here. Because these women were showing up

24:54

and they've had, you know, their gold jewelry and

24:56

their braids and and their beautiful garments,

24:59

And and he says, look, if you wanna

25:02

adorn the gospel, let

25:04

it be in the hidden person of the heart

25:06

with imperishable beauty of a gentle

25:08

and quiet spirit, which in god's sight

25:10

is very precious. So

25:13

again, he's not saying, don't ever

25:16

wear gold jewelry. Don't ever break

25:18

your hair, but what he's saying is, if

25:20

you want the type of beauty that God

25:22

values and that God says is

25:24

beautiful and precious, it's gonna be

25:26

investing in your relationship with him

25:28

and displaying Christ. Yeah. And so the

25:30

question always becomes like, okay, well, then how do I do

25:32

that? Or what is what does that look

25:34

like? And you know, that's through

25:36

time spent in prayer allowing the holy

25:38

spirit to work in your life and listening to his

25:40

prompting. It's being in the

25:42

word. It's serving and pouring out in ministry. It's living

25:44

life with for all things to God's glory,

25:46

and it's interesting to think about

25:48

how suffering really plays a

25:50

part oftentimes in shaping

25:52

our souls and making them more beautiful,

25:54

but oftentimes even science has proven

25:56

this when we go through long

25:58

seasons of little

25:59

sleep, stress, burnout. Oftentimes,

26:02

those things cause us to actually

26:05

age faster Right? We you can

26:07

get grays sooner. You can get

26:09

pain in your back and feel like you're kind of

26:11

walking hunched over. You gain

26:13

more wrinkles. I mean, these things

26:15

are scientifically proven when people go through heart

26:17

seasons. That's why the president, you look at it before

26:19

and after picture, after four years, and they

26:21

look like totally different people because they've gone

26:23

through so much stress.

26:25

But in an upside down kingdom,

26:28

suffering actually is what makes us

26:30

even more and more beautiful in our souls. Like,

26:32

God uses that to

26:34

change us and to grow us in his

26:36

likeness. And so it's

26:37

just interesting that what is decaying us

26:39

on the outside on this earth

26:41

is actually what is renewing us on

26:43

the inside. Another question is

26:46

just about vanity.

26:48

And thinking about how vanity

26:50

can be a form of pride. It's

26:53

really asking that question, like, what is

26:55

my why for

26:58

preserving my physical beauty I

27:01

think, you know, for most of

27:03

us, if we're being super,

27:05

super honest and we're getting really down

27:07

to the surface, it does go down

27:09

to like an element of just

27:12

being vain, of having

27:14

excessive admiration of our

27:17

own appearance. and wanting to look in the

27:19

mirror and you think of Snow White and

27:21

and the evil queen and she says,

27:23

mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the ferrous

27:25

of them all, and she wants to look into that

27:27

mirror and see herself, you

27:29

know. And she just

27:31

loaves with anger that

27:33

there's someone else that is more

27:35

beautiful than she is. And

27:37

is that somewhere in our hearts

27:39

as we are going through

27:41

the process of saying, I don't wanna look old.

27:43

I don't wanna get wrinkles. I don't wanna age.

27:46

You know, how much is that

27:49

playing apart? on the kind of flip side, there is an

27:51

element that we're made to

27:53

appreciate beauty and that we

27:55

can perhaps look at the beauty of a

27:57

sunset and say, wow,

27:59

that is

27:59

stunning. But we know that that

28:02

sunset, like, it's not like

28:03

you're all praising me for putting that sunset out

28:05

that we're praising God. Right? We're recognizing Christ.

28:08

but when we look at ourselves in the mirror and we think, wow, that

28:10

is stunning. It's just self

28:13

glorification. And and I

28:15

I didn't even mean ever that to be funny when

28:17

you I think

28:18

that every morning, just kidding.

28:21

But it's also interesting to think about

28:23

how God gives people different mesh

28:25

a beauty too. Like, there is

28:27

a real reality that some people,

28:29

even the bible talks about this,

28:31

with Esther or that they were

28:33

given a measure of beauty. So everyone

28:36

around saw that that person is beautiful, but do you know

28:38

who wasn't beautiful? Jesus.

28:40

This is not

28:41

the Jesus from the chosen. This

28:43

is Jesus, I just

28:46

don't think that's the right. You know, the Bible

28:48

says, Jesus was was nothing to

28:50

look upon. And what's interesting is

28:52

that being handsome

28:54

was not unnecessary for

28:56

Jesus to complete the work that God had for him

28:58

to do here on earth. And I think often we

29:00

feel like, well, I just I gotta be

29:02

pretty in order to, you know, go serve at

29:04

church. I gotta be pretty when I go to

29:07

school and and serve in volunteer in

29:09

the classroom. I

29:09

wanna look pretty on date night. And

29:11

again, those those aren't wrong feelings. Right? God

29:14

designed us to to love beauty, to

29:16

desire beauty, But when we begin to

29:18

elevate that to a point of wanting our ego

29:20

stroked and saying, I am the

29:22

fairest of them all, then that's when

29:24

it becomes an idol. because

29:25

reality is, who is the the fairest

29:27

of them all? You know, it's it's

29:30

Jesus. And really, that's who we are

29:32

wanting to point people to.

29:34

when they are interacting with us, and to realize, look, we're

29:36

not the center of the story.

29:38

We're not the person that everything

29:40

is revolving around. We're pointing

29:43

to the person who

29:45

everyone should be worshiping and everyone should

29:47

be glorifying and everyone should be looking

29:49

to and saying, wow, look what he did. He's so

29:51

amazing. He's so good. we're

29:53

we're trying to do things that, you know, get out of the

29:55

way of that and are just self forgetful.

29:57

And the final question we wanna just

29:59

ask you today is just, well, what does

30:01

it look like? to age well. And, you know, today

30:03

we're primarily focusing on the

30:05

physical appearance aspects of that.

30:07

There's actually a whole bunch of things

30:09

to be thought about in this in

30:12

this category, but what does it look to age well? And

30:14

what type of older woman do

30:16

I wanna be? When I'm

30:18

a grandma, when I'm eighty

30:20

five or ninety five or however

30:23

long the Lord allows us to

30:25

live, what do we want to

30:27

stand when we're that age? And I

30:29

think there could be something really

30:31

beautiful in allowing ourselves to

30:33

show and display to a world that

30:35

loves youth and eternity

30:38

now to show them that,

30:40

hey, I wasn't I wasn't actually made for this

30:42

world. While I'm made for

30:44

eternity, that's not here Right

30:46

now, we're in the already, but not yet. And we

30:48

look ahead to a day when we will have

30:50

perfect bodies. We will have perfect

30:52

faces. When we won't worry about

30:54

this at all, That's not now.

30:56

And the bible talks about how we

30:58

are aliens and strangers in this world that

31:00

we do things differently and

31:02

could it be that allowing some

31:04

signs of aging, of of

31:06

letting some things take their natural

31:08

course. Could that be a signal to the

31:10

world of saying, hey, this

31:12

isn't my final home. This isn't where

31:14

I put my hope. I do look

31:16

different from other people and not let me tell

31:18

you it's because I know that

31:20

one day I'm gonna meet my king

31:22

and that all my needs and all my

31:24

desires and all my my

31:26

wanting for beauty will be completely and

31:28

utterly Mhmm. And

31:30

so with that being said,

31:32

we think the focus isn't on

31:35

okay.

31:35

So now I can't do any any, you

31:37

know, anti aging things at all or can't do

31:39

anything to invest in my physical appearance. Like,

31:41

we can take an extreme

31:44

either direction. So again, we're not saying those things are

31:46

wrong, but how are we

31:48

investing in that eternal relationship

31:51

with Christ? and thinking

31:53

about the return on that

31:55

investment. Because we mentioned this

31:57

earlier, like, we are all going

31:59

to age. We are all going to

32:02

get the wrinkles anyway. We're all

32:04

headed for the grave anyway. And

32:06

so there is a sense in which

32:08

the

32:08

time that we're pouring into that

32:11

is

32:11

just limited in what it can actually

32:13

do and how long that can actually sustain.

32:15

So we wanna be limited in

32:17

the amount of time we're pouring into that

32:19

because we just frankly don't have

32:22

ultimate control over that. We can't

32:24

reverse it or hold it off forever.

32:26

And so it's important to evaluate some of those things and be

32:28

and be content with wherever we're

32:30

at in in what the Lord has given us.

32:33

Yeah. because

32:33

perhaps it is that you want to do those things

32:35

or feel comfortable, but you can't afford them or you

32:37

don't have time to do them. I mean, there can be a hundred

32:40

reasons why we're

32:42

in the spots that we are. But as we close

32:44

here, we wanna challenge you to just think about

32:46

three to five women that you really

32:48

admire, that are older than you,

32:50

that, you know, at least ten,

32:52

twenty years older than you or

32:54

more. And why is it that they come

32:56

to mind? I mean, is it like their

32:58

plump full lips Is it they're they're, you

33:00

know, flat foreheads, with wrinkle free

33:02

foreheads? But truly, it's a it's a

33:04

question. Right? We may That's

33:06

probably, hopefully, not your answer. for

33:08

why you admire them. And so as I think

33:10

about it, kind of like when my

33:12

kids were babies and I

33:14

looked at them and I thought, oh my gosh, you're just so so

33:16

so so cute, you know. But then you, like, look back on a picture,

33:18

you're like, well, they weren't maybe quite as cute as I thought.

33:20

You know, you had, like, motherhood eyes.

33:22

And And sometimes I think that can happen, right,

33:24

with it with an older woman and

33:26

you say, yep, they're they look fine or

33:29

whatever, but then as you get to know them and you

33:31

see their heart, it's like they truly

33:33

do become more and more even

33:35

physically beautiful to you. as

33:37

you see their heart and soul. Yeah.

33:39

You're thinking about how hospitable they

33:41

are. You're thinking about that wonderful

33:44

piece of wisdom they gave you that one time when you

33:46

really really needed it. I sometimes

33:48

think of older women I admire and I think about how

33:50

much time they spend praying and how well they

33:52

know the Lord and Oh,

33:54

man. They just have such a beautiful garden

33:56

or they just they you know, their cooking skills

33:58

peaceful. Yes. They're so peaceful or,

34:00

you know, how faithfully, they've walked through

34:02

suffering. And like, those are the

34:04

things I think of. I'm not

34:06

thinking about how many wrinkles they have. I'm

34:08

probably not even noticing it. And

34:10

I think A really good recent

34:12

example of this was when Queen Elizabeth died. I

34:14

thought it was so interesting that

34:16

many of the portraits that

34:19

I saw, you know, around the news of

34:21

her were not of her in the

34:23

peak of her youth. It was actually

34:25

kind of the last pictures

34:28

of her that she had, you know,

34:30

professionally done. And, you know, we don't look at those images and

34:32

think, oh, Queen Elizabeth, she's so

34:34

old. You know, it's You

34:37

think, wow, that was an earthly

34:39

monarch who

34:40

faithfully fulfilled the duty that god

34:42

gave her throughout her life.

34:45

And that's how she's remembered. And that's what people are

34:48

thinking of. They're not commenting about

34:50

her gray hair. What stands out

34:52

about her is the kind of woman that

34:54

she was. that's what

34:56

people are talking about. And

34:58

so I think we'll give that kind of credit

35:00

to other people, but then when we turn around

35:02

and think about ourselves, sometimes

35:04

we're like, Well,

35:04

I just wanna, you know, be as beautiful as possible for as long as possible.

35:06

And we don't realize, like, nope. People

35:08

aren't noticing other things about you

35:12

too. And and those things matter. Yeah. It really just comes down

35:14

to a question of what's gonna last.

35:16

And do your efforts here

35:19

on earth, to stay young, to stay

35:22

beautiful, are those investments

35:24

in eternity? It's not to

35:26

say, like, some of these things that

35:29

God gives us are good gifts. They are kind things from a

35:31

loving father for living in two thousand

35:33

twenty two, some awesome stuff.

35:36

But where is your hope at? And where are your And

35:38

I think that as we evaluate

35:41

what we're doing and

35:44

and the the things that we are engaging and the amount of head space and time

35:46

that we're committing to these things, it can

35:48

really show us whether or not we're

35:52

worshiping ourselves and our own beauty or for worshiping

35:54

Christ. Mhmm. Because ultimately,

35:56

the question is, where is my hope found?

35:59

of what I look like, regardless

36:02

of how many wrinkles I have, how many

36:04

grays I have coming in, how tight my forehead

36:06

is, whatever those things are. Well, my hope

36:08

isn't found in that. And

36:10

so I can like my physical appearance or not

36:12

really like my physical appearance, but I have

36:14

Christ. I always have Christ.

36:16

And it's so encouraging to me, you know, we say it's over and over

36:18

nearly every show, you know, our

36:20

righteousness is found in

36:22

him and

36:24

he is is wonderful

36:26

and unchanging in our reward.

36:28

And so at the end of the day, no

36:30

matter what happens, no matter what we look

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like, we

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have Christ. and that's enough.

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My

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name is Simeon, and

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I am part of the risen motherhood community

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because it is a place of encouragement

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based on the truth of the gospel.

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As a pastor's wife, I love that. It is not a place

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giving a self empowering, but a god

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centered perspective on motherhood. And

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sometimes it feels good to hear you

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talk about topics because I

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know that means I'm not

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the only mom dealing with

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those issues.

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It's truly free.

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Rizzum motherhood

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is a non profit organization made

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possible by our generous donors for women just like you. If

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you'd like to support the ministry, please go

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to rissum motherhood dot com

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forward slash give.