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2:00

hello

2:02

everyone and welcome to

2:04

the prize has spoken

2:06

with my name is matt scott i

2:08

am one of your cohost joined

2:10

by a doctor every to go to and also

2:13

by grace leaders year for the

2:15

final episodes of

2:17

this series of surprises

2:20

spoke in all months you've been hearing

2:22

us talk about survivor

2:24

with survivors with podcasts

2:26

years and we must have you on the journey

2:29

along the way today we have something very

2:31

special something store

2:33

so before we get to the

2:35

bulk of this episode and or has in

2:37

store it one handed over to you grace to

2:40

tell the folks a little bit about what wanted

2:42

snow before we dive in so

2:44

we have been i've i've been so happy to hear

2:46

people reach out to i saw on twitter

2:49

to say that they have enjoyed the

2:51

series of feel like there's a scene themselves

2:53

into conversations happening on spot guess

2:55

so delightful and what i have

2:57

extra enjoyed seeing people roster

3:00

their pride has spoken of

3:02

, merchandise be

3:04

ah with the work

3:06

of tricky who is or the graphic design

3:08

and robbers of my eyes and lovely

3:11

logo for the pride spoken of all

3:13

three us if you're a only are listening

3:15

naughty or all wearing their shirts as we

3:17

as and we want people to

3:19

continue to buy shirts to be

3:21

haven't got one yet you still get once and

3:23

we're hoping to raise some more money for

3:25

gender benders a charity that supports trans

3:28

gender nonconforming folks in the united

3:30

states doing advocacy education

3:32

doing supports as well as running

3:34

a summer camp of camp to be i kept

3:36

as near and dear to my heart so i

3:38

think it's simple we close like thousand

3:40

dollars we get over that some on earth that

3:43

would be you well tremendous treat

3:45

you good as any color you want to get kid says

3:47

as you can get on says mug if

3:49

get years prior spoken mertz and

3:51

and rocket with all three of us have been

3:53

given many compliments on the shirts or because

3:55

it's really really cool that's

3:57

for you to enjoy but today because you're listening here

4:00

joyful episode every you want let us know what we're

4:02

we're we're going get into today

4:03

yes i am so excited as he said

4:05

it's episode with you are you not

4:08

love those bittersweet because this is the last

4:10

one but i think we have a really

4:12

amazing episode for you are so

4:14

the first thing you get here is the conversation

4:17

that i got to have with a fellow

4:19

at season forty one or the challenge

4:21

bees the silver hair fargo now

4:24

mr riccardo way i am and

4:26

it was really special to have that covered system you know

4:28

obviously we were out there together and

4:30

so that's very special thing and

4:33

i i really hope you enjoy hearing all that that

4:35

and retired is amazing and

4:37

lot of a lot of fast in

4:39

fact that his family and i it's

4:41

it's great so don't hang i don't

4:44

i don't start listening right now as to

4:46

be sure to listen to that interview ah

4:48

and then after that you an

4:50

extra special treat that

4:52

know you know we can only interview and

4:54

large format had so many people who

4:56

really wants to try to get as many of the

4:58

amazing of ah lgbtq

5:01

i a plus survivors out survivor

5:03

history as we could the after

5:05

cards interview you're here several

5:09

i don't even how many be love with like fifteen

5:11

really bad man alive

5:13

while i'm using

5:15

it ah boys clips from a lot

5:17

of different survivors i think

5:20

if you are as driver sandwich of the

5:22

art and still exists you will be pretty excited

5:24

to hear all , voices are

5:26

that will be coming your way i'm in

5:29

the second part that said ah

5:31

yeah and then you'll probably hear the three of us

5:33

that the reasoning and little bit and little bit

5:35

little for well at become an

5:37

idea

5:38

yeah and stick around sincere

5:41

all about your from record here from everyone

5:43

else and as a reminder

5:45

of course before we dive and use

5:47

hashtag the pride has spoken

5:50

on social media still sees hashtag

5:52

survivor hashtag are it's a few let the

5:54

people know that we're here and

5:56

you know bread word

5:59

let us know what love about a lot about

6:01

the episode let us know what resonates

6:03

funny quotes the jump out just

6:06

post knows i'm fight

6:08

without further ado this ado

6:10

this ease doctor of he is

6:13

conversation with for

6:15

cars

6:19

the my absolute pleasure

6:22

to welcome at see the frightened so can

6:24

see why i'm the only the

6:26

silver fox of survivor

6:29

forty one and the challenge be as

6:31

himself

6:32

they're retired play hello

6:35

hi how are you

6:37

it fell by i mean we haven't seen each other in

6:39

minute fun to see your face pillow

6:42

you know that the last time i saw your i was

6:44

like laying in bed saying goodbye to

6:46

you finale

6:48

yeah yes i

6:51

do that is big night bigger of the day

6:53

after nice and lids it's nice to tell

6:56

face and now gets decide

6:58

which is a is a feeling and

7:00

forty two is over to since lid off

7:02

season

7:04

anyway but i almost officially the off

7:06

season in in as see thing happened today

7:09

yes yes this is

7:11

sally on news for people as an aside

7:14

as thou that the us is that

7:17

see the i mean graduations yeah

7:19

see see it in one way

7:21

around i am i yeah but about us

7:24

should believe that she did and it is

7:26

very easy really is the

7:30

don't you know what presented you with the serious is

7:32

really celebrate in the

7:34

i'm luckily at this time many

7:36

lgbtq i a plot survivor

7:38

players and also like the that

7:41

many as many many lgbtq

7:43

a plus survivor audience and

7:46

i just think it's like facades you get see

7:48

you have you fired

7:50

from the same see them both of whom are part

7:52

of community chatting to each other like as

7:54

think it's really cool minutes the science

7:56

ever had three mm i know

7:59

like

8:00

so funny as the beginning of my survivor

8:02

experience ceci with genie being on

8:04

my starting right all i could

8:06

think was one of people gonna think

8:08

if we don't work together what going to

8:10

people like what what had like now there's a new

8:12

pressure because before as preparing

8:14

for the game as i i'm going to be again

8:18

your one day person yeah people

8:20

you didn't allow me other gonna hate me under

8:22

one day and and then

8:25

i mean genie and i'm in now my mind

8:27

it has shifted to

8:29

my good this point the queer community

8:31

if we're not were you together

8:33

do i need to do what's best my game or do need

8:35

to represent cel mai intersectionality

8:38

like how do i do this and i

8:40

think we saw throughout specifically are

8:42

season complicated that

8:44

is with the blackout i and you know

8:46

with all the pure sees like

8:48

what do we choose what's best for

8:50

us for had or had

8:52

the the

8:54

now and again and was relieved

8:57

it was a tough decision i remember when we made

8:59

merge together and i

9:01

already had my hand my and and of different

9:03

jars and i didn't like it was hard to

9:05

jump ship in the first place and

9:07

minerals like we

9:09

have the same comment yeah should i focus

9:11

on this and they were you is a was top

9:14

really really tough read

9:16

we're going all the dynamics mean it's facility or

9:18

they would like only really tortilla in

9:20

a new bike boom like twist like

9:22

really know each has your name united

9:25

doing that of about survivor right is that

9:27

in have your grand vision of what you

9:29

might want to have the band like the

9:31

gave the game of that you the

9:33

truth about iran as unique as i was really

9:35

wondering his life i mean i obviously

9:37

wasn't there for the and we didn't really get to see much

9:39

of you and genie on the so

9:42

like when how did you do

9:44

both i guess like the you like you

9:46

ever come out said the group plane

9:48

had is a kind of come up the you were both

9:51

are the community and like magazines

9:53

as like it's all like press on the game like

9:55

on a human level and what the like know

9:57

so i'm it with

10:00

the actually exactly how played

10:02

out in the episode where

10:04

we're building our seltzer sarah

10:07

and san are asking us you

10:09

know we're all just talking about our lives in came up in that

10:11

same moment we hear genie talk

10:13

about her marriage to her wife and

10:16

has he been together forever in such a

10:18

beautiful story and them right afterwards

10:20

we talk about me being married my husband

10:23

at the time six years issue is it

10:25

all happened very very quick we all bought

10:27

i'm in like thirty minutes of for

10:29

as a reseller like nine hours of

10:32

having a damn palm thrall

10:34

and how you say that word ah

10:37

it was pretty quick yeah

10:39

it's funny that we got we all that see

10:41

know each other's backstory after the lions

10:43

had already been drawn in the sam that's

10:46

why i was already was wow as our our

10:48

brad with already be genie and then ran

10:50

with party bjp like we it was

10:53

it was too late it a matter anybody's

10:55

max or we already had a plan would

10:57

prefer ah yeah totally

10:59

totally yeah know i the i think that

11:01

nicholas as unlike think for

11:04

it is if the it's

11:06

such liar to have to have

11:08

like he holding identities on the south

11:10

and i think some as thing about you know

11:12

terms of that's a queer

11:14

identity is like i feel like something like i

11:17

delivered amazing about your story on the

11:19

south of but although i'm sure

11:21

with a life is that you're holding you

11:23

know your own identity and you know being

11:26

of york yourself and then also like your

11:28

whole family and and the and you're

11:30

like beautiful queers story

11:32

of that the time he was literally the

11:35

man with your second child and like

11:37

yeah i mean like going into

11:39

the so i think is that you weren't sure

11:41

if you really like share that with other people right

11:43

he's like argument is if i had entered

11:46

one or two sexes like that that that so much

11:48

you know i

11:50

i wanted to

11:53

cleared by a one in death year on

11:55

if wanted to tell people might

11:58

there was already too much i knew my

12:00

story was too much to start with

12:02

with the fact that was going to bring at me being hard

12:04

of hearing i was going to bring up

12:06

get about him being trans in the first

12:09

place mans him having my

12:11

daughter then this added

12:13

element of how vicious

12:15

of a player am i that i'm willing to miss

12:17

the birth of my baby step

12:20

away this game i'm willing to do anything

12:22

that so i rang i was never going share

12:24

that i

12:26

wanted to share to share bit more about wanting

12:28

another baby in like man of steel

12:30

at out little bit but i knew i was gonna keep

12:33

it

12:34

a secret until the end up it's her

12:36

me and thought i was gonna say the final tribal i really

12:38

doubt myself , my final

12:40

drive off a final tribal

12:43

say what it says it jeremy cons

12:45

to play hour as i know that's

12:47

why i don't know if you remember this ice gifts

12:49

to the voting podium voting say

12:51

yes i did and i are and i remember just

12:54

saying that's never happened and i could think was yeah

12:56

did

12:57

jeremy did so

12:59

in northeast of money or a

13:01

riot business but on yeah

13:05

you ever since i had a lot of backstory

13:07

that came along with me and what's

13:10

so weird about it is

13:13

i answer the question of where

13:15

to my kids come from so

13:17

much that i don't even really

13:19

say my backstory with emotion see it like i

13:21

feel like i'm just robot of this

13:23

is trans carried mood

13:25

as because people

13:28

is three people take for granted

13:31

little moments of just being normal human

13:33

it take for granted just the

13:36

assumption actually being correct

13:38

see something with me as always oh you

13:40

must have adopted or you must had surrogate

13:42

or like were on like

13:45

where's the kid from does the automatic assumption

13:48

and just even

13:50

though it was hard having

13:52

my life beyond the big screen as you know

13:55

her silver screen harvey say that he

13:58

went by and see who's that i've

14:01

had so many the

14:03

moments i've wanted my whole

14:06

i'm getting emotional have my moments of one

14:08

of my whole life of just

14:11

not having to explain my backstory

14:13

see the people's faces and then

14:15

be treated a version of normal

14:17

i as they have people who first not not see my

14:20

name that's been a thing minimize people

14:22

may my name and correctly you ,

14:24

richard no i don't fucking mean research and

14:26

i'm not confused here group senior

14:28

citizens of other people's

14:30

be like ricard how's your husband

14:33

how is that mike how's as funny as to the pregnancy

14:36

people will lead with knowing

14:39

my story i haven't had actually

14:41

explain where my game from

14:43

and month that

14:45

is such small saying it

14:48

has been the coolest most

14:51

amazing gift from survivor

14:53

i could ever receive and i'd never thought would

14:55

be bad i actually get

14:57

to just the

15:00

normal

15:02

where am i am and seems like

15:04

your family like places like and

15:06

as that surgical out i never even

15:08

thought of use you think about

15:11

putting yourself out there and having feel know you and

15:13

it just me feel cool the very

15:15

scary riot and that that's

15:17

so cool to have that as an element where it's

15:19

like the corporate people

15:21

to know about you you know yes

15:23

and you know like i mean even the earliest

15:26

greatest man i remember as find a dallas

15:28

and this big i can reside here that guy from

15:31

survivor another oh god area is

15:33

like how's your husband he misses

15:40

obama has the and you're calling in my house

15:42

yeah great this is and yes

15:44

he was so cool

15:47

it made , realize how

15:49

accepting so many more people are

15:51

than i realized i

15:54

i've definitely had tunnel vision of scary

15:56

people scared scary scaring people might actually

15:59

let me get snow the more human being here

16:02

get your value in in not feel

16:04

instantly threatened and other really cool

16:06

little bonus and you know in

16:08

addition to the selfish element of

16:11

me just being happy that people know my story

16:14

i had somebody reach

16:16

out to me when they were

16:18

explaining to their family trans

16:20

man with explaining to his family that he

16:22

wanted to give birth with a reference

16:25

are strong muslim went to like

16:27

my tic toc where i've documented my

16:29

kid yeah birth story and by pregnancy

16:31

and whatnot

16:34

in their family got it because

16:36

the a without your life story that we're

16:38

hearing like this is make sense doesn't that

16:40

blah blah blah but they actually saw a come

16:42

to fruition with another family

16:45

the

16:46

look at us the i see how

16:48

we i can identify it's awesome

16:50

and people at dawn early fall

16:52

retired on the social media like in i

16:54

mean it's to the full of in get

16:57

like

16:58

like a beautiful like how it came

17:00

to be but outages

17:01

literally the most beautiful family like a

17:04

new tires are gorgeous and

17:06

that isn't really really really cool story

17:09

and like the big i'm not someone who like other

17:11

place in their life now and to think like all

17:13

like thousands and hundreds

17:15

of thousands of people that over there live

17:17

like this your story will impact

17:19

they it is wild i mean and

17:21

especially at the moment in time

17:24

when they dislike so much rampant

17:26

as a trans agenda like in

17:28

the country the i

17:30

i i i can't be overstated this

17:32

have many way the you also

17:35

the you major

17:37

story so public and i i just think it's

17:39

it's really really important

17:41

happy story van ives

17:43

that's a big piece that

17:45

gives me goosebumps like i

17:47

don't get reference something reference something

17:49

another effort other things have you watched hard

17:51

suffer by chance i haven't

17:54

yet but every

17:55

yeah along with

17:58

hard supper joe law

18:00

you are a joy to the world's a he

18:02

will never let people who you are your camera

18:06

story that ends happy

18:08

for the mere immunity is nice

18:10

what we need to him

18:13

and even though

18:15

like the i didn't win i'd be like i

18:17

ended on a good know i have one hundred

18:20

than half the story and

18:22

made a home time for birth my son and

18:24

i have this like happy long term

18:26

marriage as you're going strong

18:29

lead happy story

18:31

that's really really cool

18:34

i love that i love that like that as

18:36

a and you know like that my whole thing as my like

18:38

the a tattoo like it's a place yeah

18:41

like you spend so much relate to the

18:43

worrying about it the be okay

18:45

like is he going to okay am i gonna survive

18:48

get out and then it like

18:50

you can get it for it's like the batsman

18:52

happiest thing and like yeah

18:54

years such example of that and

18:56

the benefit our you to my

18:58

god you that you are solid

19:01

late mama guys yeah

19:03

so he doesn't have the energy required

19:06

now have the and meeting in chicago

19:09

i mean says you know we got got

19:11

good ones you know car now

19:14

the

19:14

maze and i knew maisie

19:16

i will never forget one of us first thing

19:18

say i ever heard you say as

19:20

the ours was carmel saying

19:23

to you don't lose that by earns don't

19:25

miss your ass roses

19:27

like

19:29

the body positivity and

19:31

line that adds up , the

19:34

line is is and

19:37

four

19:38

i want have added really like i'm busy i

19:40

wish there was something it can be shown by the so

19:42

obviously like and only

19:44

so much time but i think one my same

19:46

it moments of like my fears on the south

19:48

split when you and i like said are coming out

19:51

stories to each other

19:52

i am i doing i really got glimpse

19:54

of their group members so vividly the camera

19:56

people like getting all the angles

19:58

and out like gonna be

20:01

some type but i honestly

20:02

like maybe we gotta version it little bit

20:04

with broad romeo and hi happy and

20:06

and but i well i

20:08

don't like what you were of the mentioning for genie

20:10

like in cool that the a very

20:12

different stories right like remember you saying

20:15

i remember vivid the paper we got like you

20:17

your friend cancel the like boy and maybe like

20:19

second graders and the like that

20:21

the i'm every little josh

20:24

josh if you're out there you and your little

20:26

boots your the and with like

20:28

kindergarten we were plenty was

20:30

during nap time and

20:32

, with with always wanted

20:34

to mimic my mother i would put a shirt on how

20:36

to one the longhair i wanted or lipstick everything

20:39

she went to me have website for she gave chapstick

20:41

christmas eyewitness it's

20:43

a ladder that shit on lips

20:45

markers and this little boy

20:47

jaws of

20:49

handsome devil so

20:51

me lay next to each other directly affected

20:53

saying that sounds in ithaca used to chat

20:57

no no can use my chat

20:59

sec but then i thought about my mom

21:01

putting on lives it and kissing my

21:03

dad's advice the day and lipstick

21:05

being on

21:08

oh well you know i have an idea

21:10

lives matters kiss

21:12

because her parents we were moved

21:14

away from each other i never go back

21:17

again with the so

21:19

it was a massive like issue

21:22

that moevao that was my first

21:24

kiss in similar job in kindergarten

21:27

great move i think that's an

21:29

excellent business and are like this is the only way

21:31

that this sounds to me defense

21:34

the armor with a dramatic

21:36

any that sounds like really there

21:39

was

21:40

remember i immediately got girlfriend afterwards

21:42

and i'd even know his girlfriend's where i do have an

21:44

array of as the i know

21:46

that there was lot of pressure afterwards and

21:49

like do you like a girls' schools during like

21:51

probably do like enjoy

21:53

remember this little girl sarah biscardi

21:56

they were there and see eye

21:58

to your advantage is out

22:00

there we found each other and the on

22:02

social media like ten years ago says

22:05

korea now love yes ah

22:07

whom said little gorilla that

22:09

i gave her

22:10

when i moved moved away and

22:12

she still has to this day

22:15

either baby ricardo grill ever cart ever

22:18

that's really long ago from right afterwards

22:20

yeah car again it was

22:22

so much pressure me how dare

22:24

i consider what i meant like urls

22:27

read em it and i mean that's

22:29

just kind of like how clear

22:31

lives are at the beginning unless you

22:33

happen be lucky to have

22:35

an accepting family at that time is

22:37

no thirty years ago the

22:40

journalism reality and

22:42

read until

22:45

i graduated high school even

22:47

after came out kerry

22:50

with saudi by accident i did not

22:52

in the actually come out the

22:56

even after i came out i still

22:58

envision myself having wise and

23:00

kitten mittens still seems unfathomable

23:03

me actually following through with

23:05

this lice they wanted

23:08

to really wasn't even i saw in my

23:10

head i was like no i'm still just getting

23:12

the set my system then going to do what i'm supposed

23:14

to do while i

23:16

would be yeah i read knew that though my billie

23:19

first settled because i didn't really

23:21

even for myself like realize

23:23

it into that like let let myself realize

23:25

it really into i would like

23:27

like in my early twenties they got

23:29

ugly and like idyllic so much

23:31

it would like

23:33

a new but it was like i'm fine

23:35

dating men like this the much easier imagine

23:38

what the i don't think anyone picture with that life

23:40

looks like you know and it's doubly staring

23:43

it's definitely hard to like visit fine

23:45

i just be fine and you know what's

23:47

right the thing your time

23:49

out of like okay but what if we go from

23:51

fine to like ecstatic joy

23:54

and when she said in a hole under linux

23:56

and a maze the a simpler

23:58

together and and like and not they that it's

24:00

like instantly the bad thing ever for

24:02

everyone but life isn't you

24:04

give yourself to somewhat for like potential

24:07

for happy i'm like i think the

24:09

be a throwback for a lot people in of

24:11

your that of physics self realization

24:13

of stuff like allowing yourself

24:16

to be yourself and things own life is

24:18

not having not having model right and just

24:21

think like a i can't emphasize enough

24:23

like your family i just like really

24:25

feel like and you and you as person

24:27

like you were saying like

24:29

a bad ass survivor player like

24:31

which is usually socially like yet

24:34

like that gonna

24:36

be huge for zip so many people like it's it's

24:38

amazing it's it's

24:40

wild to me the thing

24:43

the

24:44

seeing somebody who could be role model when

24:46

you're in your twenties like when you're in going to be

24:48

there's never too late of moment

24:50

to realize like oh

24:52

this person isn't the representation

24:55

i never knew of my has man he

24:57

had never heard of trans people he had ever

25:00

met transfers and that knows of until

25:02

he was in his twenties land

25:04

he he didn't like he was calling

25:06

himself a little boy as a little tiny

25:09

kid net legacy new but

25:11

he didn't know the

25:12

never had determined he had never the burbage he

25:14

didn't understand and then

25:16

his dad passed away in car accident

25:18

about year lol where lol where

25:21

and realized who he was a man

25:23

this big thing of light

25:25

whitehead his life have been

25:27

like what could a man if

25:29

he had seen trans person or

25:31

humor and wit trend yeah i'm and before

25:34

because now he has to live with this element of

25:36

my dad never met and never

25:41

and they don't changing yeah

25:43

and that's so sad

25:45

to me it's something

25:47

sad to me yeah that's

25:49

league more

25:52

people or and i know there's

25:54

so many folks at their their miss got gonna misconstruing

25:56

because they're just not into the queer community

25:58

and

26:00

it would be like see your just turning

26:02

kid it's not turning israel learning

26:04

and rapes new like i

26:06

don't live in a whole and never know what chocolate

26:08

is and never relied like chocolate and

26:10

then i see backlit and like oh

26:13

i , i like that whole lives lives

26:15

a every fourth chocolate i knew this is such

26:17

silly analogy but no and

26:19

so is is so i did they were turning

26:21

people yes

26:24

you're watching the same show susie

26:26

are you gay now that the genie

26:28

is now they have is now

26:31

i really remember it like

26:32

in ibn el and clothes i know and

26:34

you know shit her her mom and him

26:36

and passed by email have

26:39

you played big moment and was really important in my

26:41

life i'm for me to honestly

26:44

honestly am i got by you know a big advocate

26:46

of figures like yeah it's really a

26:48

lot of get in there also but anyway were not

26:50

that's not enough okay but

26:53

i've ever heard they that of like for

26:56

her i grew up around all three people

26:58

like why did it turn me straight you know the

27:00

added to think like you kind

27:02

of like there's so many people the this

27:05

example don't know that sick that dup dup know

27:07

this is possibility and

27:09

by from on their

27:12

i this chats way has we also have many

27:14

on the the along the just

27:16

have been they're both

27:18

and like different has an example like i

27:20

think i was thinking i you know the

27:22

whole ricardo was gator twitter

27:24

i in impacts for the in cedar

27:26

rapids or card draw authority

27:29

the one like drop the apes i'm

27:31

i'm butcher get but snowy i

27:34

missing something like that and

27:36

i was thinking anyhow like richard haass

27:38

you know the first winner of the so

27:41

was a day man and like a just

27:43

to think like

27:44

i know your one let her off a name

27:46

and you we're almost there

27:48

at the end for years such the you know

27:50

completely different person from him and like

27:53

it's it's really cool the thing no not

27:55

a survivors like not that has always

27:57

been good representation but like the

28:00

the number of us is really growing in the number

28:02

of different types the people that people can see on

28:04

tv really have grown lot you know yeah

28:07

and i have direct right

28:10

connection to richard hatch

28:13

being the first winner of

28:15

the show and

28:17

me feeling for the first time

28:20

i would be accepted in my family

28:22

my of my kind of family and i'm not trying

28:24

to disarm my mom but at the time

28:27

i would guess on her spicy was

28:29

wild and season

28:31

for she was the further you know should flipped the channel

28:34

and change it if it will and grace be like as grouse

28:36

soon queer eye whatever queer eye

28:38

our why they act like that whenever the

28:41

by a survivor when that

28:43

came out there was the one show there was gay

28:45

person issue is actually rooting for and know

28:47

told the story and few podcast but it's like it's

28:50

a huge moment in life and it's while

28:52

of survivor

28:53

he was rooting for him she wasn't just putting

28:55

up with him on her scream she

28:58

loved rich she wanted him to when

29:00

she wanted him to thrive

29:02

he wins she's happy and i realize

29:04

for the truly for the first time that she really

29:07

has the ability to root for again person

29:10

is , like holy damn like

29:12

she really could root for me at some point my

29:14

life she did me okay with me cause lox

29:16

you okay with this dude is harry naked

29:19

man man a lot

29:21

of them yeah see

29:23

i am like that was huge

29:25

for me and ask that was when i got

29:27

addicted to survivor like she's okay

29:29

and i wanted her watch to

29:31

clinton was clinton for a few seasons but

29:34

you know like most people they changed

29:36

what they enjoy watching on tv

29:39

but wanted her to watch every season

29:41

because i wanted her to be constantly

29:43

seeing this represent movements and

29:46

not just for getting and not being one off

29:48

with rather than just like with alan the

29:51

only reference that mike you

29:53

know i i'm not comfortable despite

29:55

like alan i'm not a good

29:57

that like that was her i

29:59

can't be harmful ever gay friend

30:03

and the game bread is alan

30:06

oh mom lisa listeners ozone

30:09

i don't need hoping that and that's also

30:11

that's beautiful part the she wants the down the aisle at

30:13

my wedding to wedding there for there birth my

30:15

daughter like she is

30:18

the accepting loving parent who

30:21

did it matter her generation she got there

30:23

so did and his mom great

30:26

great family and

30:28

i can't overstate that enough

30:31

there's always possibility for change there's

30:33

always the potential it doesn't matter how bleak

30:35

as it doesn't matter if you're from the most intense

30:37

catholic religious background went catholic

30:39

elementary school like me it doesn't matter there

30:42

, a possibility see him

30:44

and i just happened be one those stories

30:48

stories i forgot

30:50

the beautiful story and may say today

30:54

how are people can come and their life

30:56

you know and like i think you're

30:59

bad thing like

31:00

we told him a liar especially like on

31:03

you know in the twitter survivor relative

31:05

lead that there's like the debate

31:07

brewing have hitter than i know that

31:10

that that really matters i've found

31:12

you from time to time and it's

31:14

but there are so many people that are just

31:17

mm like to actually are to the people

31:19

that not really engage with

31:21

lgbtq i people in their

31:23

life or like have never seen a in

31:25

an active way and like another

31:27

thing but like they'd all super

31:29

actually hate it and then the

31:32

people on t v that they connect with in

31:34

a game at that's about like survival

31:37

and challenges and social strategy

31:39

and like know voting people

31:41

are like they can be like oil

31:44

like that person and actually can like

31:46

a really big impact on how the the

31:49

world and it's like you know i don't wanna i

31:51

like i don't you like science or on the bible

31:53

like it really does think like

31:55

it is really impactful and official

31:58

think about the and get at

32:01

all and not about that but where

32:03

people and we go out there and

32:05

like it's gonna be about that a little could for people

32:07

who were there and i just think that kind

32:09

like positive influence like

32:11

really important as well yeah

32:14

and you know i think

32:16

with what i'm starting to realize or

32:19

from what i've realized of last year is the

32:21

fans want

32:23

a certain narrative at some point and

32:26

they want you to whatever

32:28

you represent so me being queer person

32:30

they want me to represent that

32:33

for the rest of my life almost

32:35

and they might

32:38

trying to figure out to say this properly there

32:41

lot of friendships within the survivor

32:43

worlds and it's wild

32:46

if like some fans he one

32:48

person from whatever the reason may be

32:50

they are all in on hating that person

32:53

and then they'll try be like the uk

32:55

so how could you like person

32:57

of a bar that's

32:59

what survivor is the

33:01

not come on survivor to play

33:04

again seventeen other queers and just

33:06

mean reigning queen of designer

33:08

i my team on to prep

33:10

play with the brad's and

33:13

the heavens and the danny is mans

33:15

the sands every plate that

33:17

that's what's going to make me feel like i

33:19

succeeded fact that i could be

33:22

and korea relationships with people

33:24

that are nothing like me what

33:26

survivor is the social

33:28

experiment and through that

33:31

we create these friendships in the size of

33:33

the shared experiences really special obviously

33:35

they're going to be lot things that like are you some the

33:37

do that or i do not subscribe to that

33:39

mentality that thinking mice bite

33:42

we create real bonds out there

33:44

me and the more we spend

33:47

time with one another and the more that we educate

33:49

each other the more moderate it's gonna be

33:51

made decided be any progress made if just

33:53

stopped talking everybody that you don't like

33:55

for whatever reason like we need

33:57

continue probably

33:59

be released

34:00

chips and fines and continue

34:02

changing the world for the bedrooms

34:05

are not just going end the show and be like

34:07

by have to cast viewed in a

34:09

rail for a bit may

34:11

have been we've around plus nothing than

34:13

all i'm to me i know and i

34:15

know everybody has everybody different opinions i'm respect

34:17

for those if going to try and

34:19

force me to be different it's just

34:21

not gonna work because i want

34:25

the think that there good in everyone

34:27

and if those the potential for

34:30

strange i really believe there is

34:33

another really i mean i it

34:35

is a really interesting thing when you meet people in

34:37

this

34:38

the recent survivor were like so

34:40

obviously not that social

34:42

issues are not exist and of course they

34:44

are of course like with a different identities

34:47

of course they there are just like you're

34:49

not talking about the same stuff that you normally

34:51

talking about you know added the place you

34:53

are able to just about as the go think like

34:55

you said the you connected but

34:57

you never really he never went on

34:59

and as a place people and thing like obviously

35:01

whether you love someone worse eat

35:03

them there a much bigger to like

35:06

multi dimensional person then you could possibly

35:08

imagine no with

35:10

forty five minutes for however many episodes

35:13

you know yeah

35:15

the know that make that such that very

35:17

real the

35:18

and you know on the flip side they're

35:20

also gonna be relationships that

35:22

can never form because of the bases

35:24

we have going into it

35:26

the best the thing like and people can talk

35:28

about oh i know one has to talking

35:30

about you know razor identity and place

35:33

mm survivor is microcosm

35:35

of the real world and as say people

35:37

bring of bias is this oh i

35:39

wanted to i you a favour

35:41

out there were kind the go bit big a birthday

35:44

cake for his son after that so

35:46

we're trying to keep keep are tied over or

35:48

a but oh i just don't

35:50

just share share that i surely will never

35:52

forget so you know you said the

35:55

that apa it was your last ah

35:57

apple that you share that anyone

36:00

it and i

36:02

just remember met like is that like there are times

36:04

that the amer the

36:06

your whatever it is you were crying little

36:08

is like little an enabler

36:11

the thing you're going on with him they don't

36:13

know and i like a it be

36:15

like you we're thinking about that i'm

36:18

hand

36:19

you can't you got voted out and you

36:21

kinda ponderosa you know that took

36:23

shower i think then you came out with

36:25

pictures of your family and

36:28

he was just really that's

36:31

so like moment of life that

36:33

by their the game and now

36:36

we're out a game and now like we

36:38

get to hear like you realize and years

36:40

the your real family and these like beautiful texas

36:43

of the soldiers are at the time

36:45

child the of and sooner the

36:48

i did i don't have a question there the

36:50

dow is very special my eye

36:52

, it literally cry in school

36:56

was funny is when funny is went

36:58

into the game and he had

37:00

arm wrapped up of people magazine

37:02

for me was i was like and on read

37:05

magazines what is this weird ass

37:07

guess they speak like opener when you get

37:09

there

37:10

when i guess l a because when i got the away

37:13

we were there for three days before he flew to fiji

37:16

and the take ages

37:18

just a little something for the flight to fiji assembly

37:20

down as like okay so open

37:22

it before we left right after they took our

37:24

phones i wish they'd open a before so

37:27

could call him and when

37:29

flipped through it every page had different

37:31

picture from like us or the kids

37:33

or his baby bump or something like he

37:35

had prima donna ,

37:37

and put them in a magazine but he hit him in a magazine

37:40

in case production production

37:44

was like was and so

37:46

i was like one of very few people that actually

37:48

had pictures of their

37:50

family to show off and

37:53

i was when i left a

37:55

didn't have as big impact me i just

37:57

i was really sweet on a blast

38:00

the game when i was

38:02

voted out and i tried to eat

38:04

i couldn't he the

38:07

went to go shower and then come back afterwards

38:09

when saw those pictures i just like

38:11

it meant more than anything

38:14

in the world me especially because

38:16

i had had on the

38:18

family visit amusing as much as he

38:20

just wasn't right one

38:25

if embodied voices for you all

38:27

are lenses out for easier they said

38:29

so but it was different season forty two

38:32

they were already sitting and eating and then

38:34

they started hearing their families

38:36

voices with ours we were in attendance

38:39

before i'm waiting it to

38:41

get dark

38:42

and when we walked out we were walking

38:45

towards whatever they call them

38:47

little sack no sir

38:49

their serenity how i don't know they call every new

38:51

jersey things and as

38:53

were walking up the

38:56

you could hear a voice saying ah

38:59

ah and

39:02

important piece of this story is when i left

39:04

for survivor my daughter couldn't speak yeah

39:06

i'd never heard her speak oh my

39:08

and so when i walked in

39:10

an eye toward san the sand and i

39:12

we were bad for

39:14

iran's we knew everything

39:16

about each other and so i told her

39:19

when our he starts to talk i want to be baba

39:22

and she's like you're part of

39:24

your father was a way i couldn't really

39:26

hear that well oh my god my first

39:29

time hearing my daughter speak ever

39:30

was walking into

39:33

that reward and then i got this the

39:35

are on the screen and i'm you nice frickin

39:37

lost it

39:38

and the fact that they cut it out of so

39:41

really hurt my heart

39:42

yeah really really was hard and

39:44

was like wow this makes sense i'm not the winner

39:47

people already have really big ty was

39:49

an issue is about the leave that episode may

39:51

have a really big high with me and this is going

39:53

to the too much emotional connection

39:56

to person that's the non winner and

39:58

so it made sense but then saw forty

40:00

two and the winner also with not as that

40:03

the great reward and other what's this

40:05

shit is as sonia what's

40:07

the answers are so that but know that

40:09

was my for for hearing her speech

40:12

while just so alike right

40:16

with every word i only the video

40:18

not only but it was really special by

40:21

you could see and his head but he had cropped out

40:23

his body so that no pregnant

40:26

he's like zone a very specific way and

40:29

so what like didn't have a visual

40:31

thing of like did have the baby is the baby

40:33

so their mom what have we lost our second

40:35

baby and thousand so

40:37

hard i was so scared we're gonna lose another

40:42

but would actually getting the city's tangible

40:44

features and especially one where you could see his

40:46

be all bally yeah and

40:48

i was like ah baby

40:51

baby fine seen the belly they

40:53

can do is a more special moment then

40:55

that rewards the another really

40:58

see my family not cropped hidden

41:00

version a really cool there

41:03

are about not think you owe

41:05

before his oh wow that is so my

41:07

billie that the first time you heard her say baba

41:09

live at that roy that

41:12

of my own survivor they watch me the

41:15

on them , allow

41:17

them if i had been there were at at

41:20

and amount of stuff they cut

41:22

our i was like i swear i'm nice person

41:25

episodes one before i am just sassy

41:27

of will be odds be i

41:30

hate jd just as easy as a

41:32

year of i year i showed

41:35

, kind sites i

41:37

get i you have i he was and i do

41:39

is buy us it was much of what's and

41:41

and was like know that stuff like you it's it's at

41:44

one point but notice as accurate

41:46

and did hear think things are

41:48

such are thing

41:49

wow i

41:51

, if they decide they didn't have one that like

41:54

bio class and like is leading last

41:56

episode of the pride in spokane

41:58

and so if you had any

42:00

like hopes are dream for it

42:02

like the future of lgbtq

42:05

i he their representation on

42:07

survivor like survivor fans

42:09

armor anything like that

42:12

honestly i just wanted to be at a point

42:14

where

42:17

everyone is just a contender

42:19

at very beginning and we form the

42:21

late like relationships and bonds

42:23

with that the castaway

42:26

these on their gameplay and based on their personality

42:29

and the amount times although flattering

42:33

that and me and i fly on airplanes eyes

42:35

see hundreds of people every

42:37

day i'm at work and so i

42:39

have a shit ton people recognize me

42:41

and shit ton of people at approach me and

42:44

so when they do all

42:46

those flattering to hear like all you

42:48

know

42:49

i don't like you have first but i really came

42:51

or are you on me over it like by

42:53

as agree it's

42:55

wild that ninety percent of you hated

42:58

me first i'm i'm

43:00

based on what like i was barely and the first few

43:02

episodes i'm all like a funny little

43:04

quip from me and then i

43:06

was pretty much a so

43:09

there is an issue with our biases

43:11

year that i was despised so

43:13

much and i had to man more challenges

43:16

and anyone i had to get to the finale i

43:18

do all of this stuff the

43:20

you to respect me in any capacity

43:23

the i love it i'm

43:25

proud of myself that was able to do it my

43:27

not every clear first in is gonna be able

43:29

to have this longstanding story

43:32

arc for you to end up being

43:34

okay with them you down the okay with

43:36

all of us from beginning and if we knew

43:38

something that you hey then

43:40

yeah i get it like you're you're disappointed that

43:42

player but i want us to just be so inundated

43:45

want everyone to just be

43:47

like so represented there

43:50

were just like oh card

43:52

playing the see the not out the gay guy

43:55

raz in what my name on

43:57

it when done well the one member

43:59

every one really really good and

44:01

i guess we'll see how it goes if is

44:03

looking good so far i'm higher

44:06

i mean i already with forty two

44:08

i know we've come back to backs is not based off

44:10

of our season than one and

44:12

, love the gay on gay fighting

44:14

i've i've

44:16

this yeah then make everyone

44:18

was just person and minimum

44:20

super focusing on identity which

44:23

are very more the splitters

44:25

really cool to see that's what future

44:27

season should be like yeah in my the

44:29

i'm just yesterday the

44:31

yard gain i

44:33

want

44:34

amen to that amen to that money

44:36

get help and i is anything else that

44:38

you wanna i didn't like plug

44:40

or has will follow you are

44:43

oh i'm fi be

44:45

on are at record for the on twitter

44:47

or instagram

44:50

i don't really have much say oh yeah i

44:52

do i'm of of hearts

44:54

, host of drop your buffs which

44:56

is a phenomenal tigers i know

44:59

brother the bobcats it's also a phenomenal podcasts

45:01

by the off your post post

45:04

like listen on applies have

45:06

flag listen all of them arm

45:09

of ruff cats i'm sean

45:11

rods like my babies yeah

45:14

and keep watching survivor i'm sorry i'm

45:16

so excited for the teachers river

45:18

and

45:20

i hope that whoever does

45:22

eventually come back for returning season

45:24

i hope they are able to thrive imo

45:27

they are lungs in

45:30

this new era and respected and

45:32

yeah everybody

45:35

not so much and i'm i'm really so

45:37

great but we had commutation and thing

45:39

is so extreme high that like i really

45:41

believe it's better that we got

45:43

do that so i appreciate so much and

45:46

are you there if you are in a sand required

45:49

a message just skip to part where you

45:51

love him at the end he

45:54

i read your face he was so stupid

45:57

and ugly for you it really won

45:59

me over

46:01

and you have any regard as good as the

46:03

best for them

46:04

yeah there is no

46:06

an active majority your cameos

46:08

i j i love doing a cameo i

46:11

love you and a cameo yes guess

46:14

story , it is if it's

46:16

your eleventh the time time

46:18

, so i start

46:20

i am not todd recall where i could

46:22

do the same cameo for everybody but

46:24

i start i have the same like greeting you

46:26

know mean high the zebra card

46:28

from season forty one of forty survivor at

46:31

same way a now when i call

46:33

my work so i had find out about

46:35

hotel thing i always talk

46:37

the same also where am i i this ricard

46:40

employee number and i see my no i'm

46:42

not going to say it on this podcast this

46:45

had filmed three cameos then

46:47

i was getting ready for work as a all damage given

46:49

me my hotel

46:51

let just call really quick and so i

46:53

called my work and oh my god

46:55

all i said with high the sooner card from

46:57

season forty one of survivor and

47:00

the cruise schedule like what

47:03

why is , was one

47:05

the most into courtesy of of

47:09

oh my god it as my game is

47:11

a out

47:13

other one where was doing mother's day one and

47:15

i realized was like your mother's

47:18

day was i doing less mother's day i was

47:20

getting voted out of survivor most of

47:22

them up then

47:24

realized the in the middle of filming this

47:26

year and was just like i had a moment

47:28

and was like a shit as record as soon

47:31

as i was like oh

47:33

yeah that's what happened last mother's day

47:35

go i , that all

47:38

right here different kind of cameo make sure you

47:40

get the the full vocal pitch

47:42

[unk] modulation what the

47:44

aura wasn't authentic a and

47:47

ah yeah the great thank

47:49

you for a bit being apart of the for had a really

47:52

lives thank you so much

47:54

man my blog year

47:57

man

48:00

is pride one talk to have

48:02

ricard chats on to show

48:06

, has episode pride pride

48:08

each to pride chats from this

48:10

from pride on to show each

48:13

to talk from talk players pride milo

48:16

the red white and blue miss

48:19

fireworks are also i can't

48:21

wait

48:22

burgers well you can't be buy one get

48:24

one free eighty per cent lean ground beef

48:26

or comforts when pack original title for

48:28

seventeen ninety five the large

48:30

all he does watermelon is only two forty

48:32

nine with them for

48:33

let's a happy fourth july more

48:36

for your

48:37

hey the same low my your prices whether

48:39

you south in store pick up or have

48:41

it delivered to your door exclusives apply

48:43

cel deals in the myra

48:47

bringing a red white and blue michelle

48:49

the fireworks are also i

48:51

can't wait

48:52

burgers well you can't feed buy one

48:54

get one free eighty per cent lean ground beef

48:56

working for when pack original title for

48:58

seventeen ninety five

49:00

the large all he does watermelon is only

49:02

two forty nine with embark sweaty

49:04

happy fourth of july more

49:06

for your money the pay the same well my your

49:08

prices whether you south in store

49:10

pick up or have it delivered to your door

49:13

exclusions apply cel deals in the

49:15

myra

49:17

what is that this is todd herzog from

49:19

survivor china i just want

49:21

give big shoutout to all of

49:23

my lgbtq i plus

49:25

family members sappy pride

49:27

it's on this is such a big month for us

49:30

it's a month where we get to go and be like

49:32

look at who i am i am so happy

49:34

with who i am and i love you for being

49:36

who you are says i personally

49:39

love you for who you are

49:42

i'm super stoked that every resolve and

49:44

ask me i'm with her to record this with

49:46

the pride of spokane and mention little

49:48

bit about my time on survivor so back

49:50

in two thousand and seven sir i'm representation

49:53

of the gay community wasn't necessarily huge

49:55

it in in television and are

49:58

really wants and social media these

50:00

are of my space on by

50:03

why wouldn't little scared i'm but that only

50:06

lasts for about five minutes because

50:08

i told myself i like who i am

50:10

i'm proud of who i am and i'm gonna

50:12

go out there eminem be who i am

50:14

to the best of my abilities and

50:16

know what i did

50:18

it i'm so proud of how a was

50:21

and people liked who i was

50:23

for me and that's all that

50:25

matters mean i'm to anybody

50:28

out there who may feel alone or sad

50:30

or confused or struggling you can always

50:33

reach reach me on social media i'm

50:36

very accessible and accessible and

50:38

want you to know that you're not alone in you are

50:40

loved it it is so

50:42

important that you know the your last on

50:45

so yes the and you are much

50:48

love and happy brian

50:50

following is a clip from jackson

50:52

from season forty two

50:56

i wondered playing survivor mean to me

50:58

i phone her dinner far as of lgbtq

51:00

a plus are actually

51:02

it meant the mental wants me to play let me not

51:04

in have limitations as my store

51:06

was accepted just like anybody else is was now

51:09

, authored represents and

51:12

was awesome experience on

51:14

how is my experience

51:16

played survivor are affected

51:19

by be him lgbtq

51:21

i was god

51:23

i i think they were seeking out my store to be honest

51:25

with you a

51:28

great acceptance my

51:31

my tribe bar everybody on the cast

51:34

i think was learning experience for some of them

51:36

were never as i for they did we

51:38

met anyone like me even though they probably have adjusted

51:40

know what i think was just great

51:43

representation like

51:45

you say to the fans lessons like ass man

51:48

your support has been unmatched i

51:50

have never felt more love more substance more

51:54

hearing about my story in

51:56

the been more i've even had sam's reach out

51:58

say there love fact that

52:00

they were unable speak to their kids so

52:03

yeah means absolutely everything arm

52:05

there's nothing outrage about experience

52:08

out this gives years and that you need to embrace

52:10

your for being fans mostly

52:12

hey

52:14

what's up it's only style years and

52:17

thirty nine survivor they could

52:19

i just wanted say happy bride

52:21

hi thanks for all the love sport that i've

52:23

gotten over the last few years and

52:25

while was out on islands

52:27

really do appreciate it it was an

52:29

honor to actually be able go out and play

52:31

in represent the community cause

52:33

representation does matter and

52:35

i will shatter do it in positive light so thank

52:38

you for all money sport once again the

52:40

quote the great job done the

52:43

i'll just keep on keepin army love is love

52:47

the following is a clip from romeo

52:50

from season forty two

52:52

frame a game of survivor as someone who identifies

52:54

as part the lgbtq i

52:57

a plus community meant that i was

52:59

not only playing the game as myself

53:01

as romeo but was playing the

53:03

game for an entire community and

53:05

it was important for me to know why

53:08

was playing out there that when someone

53:10

who is part of that community

53:12

and when identify themselves with me

53:14

would turn on the television every

53:16

week and see someone that they

53:19

could relate to and feel scene

53:21

and feel represented there's

53:23

something something like to say to fans

53:25

and members of the lgbtq i asked

53:27

me for listening to this podcast is

53:30

that it does get better

53:32

anyone who loves you will love you for

53:35

you regardless my

53:37

experiences fi was stuff me affected by

53:39

being member out of the lgbtq

53:41

i a plus community of

53:43

when you're playing this hard

53:46

game it has

53:48

a funny way of bringing up past

53:50

issues and one of my past

53:52

issues was living half my life

53:55

up to now are as a closeted

53:57

gay man so being able

53:59

to here with

54:01

my tribe means the fact that i lived

54:04

my life not be myself

54:06

for so long because i was afraid

54:09

of what people would think of me and

54:11

if they wouldn't love or except many more

54:13

was definitely really really freeing for

54:15

me it allowed me to

54:17

come back home and be able

54:19

to finally live a more free

54:21

an authentic life and to

54:23

me that was worth so much more than

54:26

winning a million dollars

54:30

and here's ryan clarke from survivor edge

54:32

of extinction

54:35

season one episode one

54:37

of survivor i've been a diehard fans

54:39

gonna you're gonna plow wanna be on the

54:41

show had to do it but i

54:43

was hesitant because i didn't

54:45

want my ,

54:48

and being gay to to be

54:50

portrayed in a way that i when the happy with

54:52

i was out to have friends and family

54:54

and of course lloyd bird not like

54:56

the great or world and i just didn't know

54:58

how that will be head on on television i don't wanna

55:00

be the token gay character on

55:02

show and i just was on on

55:05

of them ahead about it and so was ensure our

55:07

wanted to do it but i had this great

55:10

desire to be a castaway

55:12

to be part the game to experience

55:14

didn't so my whole life i just

55:16

wanted to do it's volley of like you know what

55:18

i feel uncomfortable myself and com fluids

55:20

can perceive bob the world community

55:23

and i'm going for discipline down

55:25

the down and when i

55:27

first gathered day one else onto a roar

55:29

and i realized that she was part of the community as

55:31

well and was like oh my gosh your

55:33

family and out who's is so exciting

55:36

and how they well they didn't even split us and they put

55:38

us on the same tribe to and then

55:40

i noticed that when only to my confessionals

55:42

nobody ask me questions or my sexuality

55:44

being gay it just wasn't even a thing was

55:47

com an afterthought and actually have you

55:49

watched the edge of extinction season

55:51

my sexuality is even mention until

55:54

lloyd muslim shows up the love

55:56

one visits and she's kind of like really

55:58

understated oh yeah this is lawyer no

56:01

big fanfare no big deal made about

56:03

in so i really appreciated that remember

56:05

really comfortable and so on

56:07

on this really proud of how survivor has handled

56:10

on situations like that and lgbtq

56:12

age musee how it's been treated

56:15

on the show and on to miss really

56:17

proud of that and to anyone who's listening

56:19

to this and you're not outta your

56:21

console with what the communities don't think of

56:23

you are that would the world your family on

56:26

a heard some them once housed on said when

56:28

you're tweeting you're very concerned

56:30

with what people think about you when you're putting

56:33

your care what people think about when

56:35

you're sixty he realized nobody

56:37

was thinking about you anyway like

56:40

the older you get used start

56:42

realize good relies on bodies

56:44

literally thinking about you nobody really cares

56:46

nobody cares about as about

56:48

you or thing about you as much you think

56:50

they are and so live your own truth

56:53

be true to you and when

56:55

you are and when you're comfortable with it and

56:57

we just cannot there are there

56:59

and in there it is and you can instead it or not accepted

57:02

the people who love you and care about you are gonna remain

57:04

in those who aren't you he might

57:06

have wanted to be in your circle anyway an

57:09

author by com an hour you just so

57:11

much on you educate people

57:14

and you helped make it easy for other

57:16

people and so leave your

57:18

true bigger you are

57:20

and be confident in that thank you

57:22

for let me share my thoughts the prada spoken

57:26

celebrating also the to

57:29

survivor to many this

57:31

about from survivor

57:34

than was too i

57:36

was fifty nine years old when

57:38

i always in the show and if they can i never

57:42

it it myself publicly

57:46

of course my personal friends

57:48

and family know that i will

57:50

generate shepard woman but

57:52

it wasn't something that something broadcast

57:54

because at that point that point

57:57

it just wasn't done that much

58:00

the weapon era where saying in

58:02

the closet was wise thing to do

58:04

i'm thrilled that no longer

58:06

true i knew

58:08

going into survivor that i would probably

58:10

be added and i thought it through

58:12

before i fly actually

58:16

jeff products the outer may

58:18

ask the final tribal

58:22

which was shocking

58:24

at the time the it only

58:26

cost me one speaking gaelic

58:29

your high school football team

58:32

either matt i continue to

58:34

get work now

58:37

people continue to enjoy

58:39

my presence federal not a big

58:41

deal

58:43

they love that survivor

58:46

has become so diverse over the years

58:50

i target for public forum

58:53

for except it's baker so many young

58:56

people and families watch the show

58:59

and of course day lgbt

59:02

care community that expand on the show

59:05

have been mostly very

59:07

much loved by the public though

59:11

that's your application grand kid get

59:14

out there and play the game are

59:16

you sleep with is not the years important

59:18

as what you do with your heart the

59:21

you are thou

59:25

come on and gays that's right it's brought labelle

59:27

from survivor season three three miles was

59:30

jealous so proud to be member

59:32

of the gay survivor alumni

59:34

i'm also proud to be a part an amazing coming

59:36

out seen alongside my cast mates

59:39

and zeke smith seen , a

59:41

seem to touch touch

59:43

many people from around the globe are

59:45

still had the opposite message is all the time about

59:47

it time me how much they enjoyed it of

59:49

so glad zeke and i will have that until the

59:51

end time survivors

59:54

been celebrating gay contest since since the beginning

59:56

when richard hatch once have i have borneo i

59:59

remember how that was me to watch a game

1:00:01

and break all the berries and when the

1:00:03

first ever title of sole survivor

1:00:07

since then i've watched several more

1:00:09

gag it's essence play and some even when

1:00:12

mike was amy coup sec

1:00:14

taught herzog jolly herschel

1:00:17

sean carroll kelly remington just

1:00:19

can feel inside and amos you look

1:00:22

forward to watching many more the future

1:00:25

which brings me to this fans watching i'm

1:00:27

sorry fans listening to this right now

1:00:30

i watched from season one the season

1:00:32

thirty two before i was cast on survive

1:00:34

there is still time

1:00:37

go apply to they put

1:00:39

everything down put the phone and stop

1:00:41

as soon as podcast ago apply

1:00:44

to the show right now i love

1:00:46

you all very thanks to have me

1:00:48

labelle out

1:00:52

are you ready

1:00:54

the any robin chance survivor forty

1:00:56

one contestant singing

1:00:59

survivor words the

1:01:01

adventure of my life and

1:01:05

i played i probably

1:01:07

played as my true an authentic selves

1:01:10

i am part the lgbt

1:01:13

you plus community i'm

1:01:15

a fire the a p i community

1:01:19

ah i am completely

1:01:22

i'm genuinely touch that cbs

1:01:26

rider or survivor to me the has

1:01:28

made such open

1:01:30

space and coming space for me

1:01:32

to be me and

1:01:34

if you are the third and

1:01:36

becoming a contestant i would encourage

1:01:39

you

1:01:40

i go for our

1:01:42

stories matter and stories

1:01:45

should be tell

1:01:47

i know i'm using that word again normal

1:01:51

we are stories the

1:01:54

normal and it can be normalized in the has

1:01:56

been so please go

1:01:58

for it i can't

1:02:00

wait to see more more

1:02:02

of our community play this we

1:02:04

the maven thank

1:02:07

you

1:02:10

everyone this is john carroll from survivor

1:02:12

more cases i want

1:02:14

to wish everybody a happy pride month

1:02:17

i cannot believe it's been twenty years since

1:02:19

i played i'm one of the survivor

1:02:22

oh gee gays and saw

1:02:24

i could not more proud to be amongst

1:02:27

this out wide and ever growing

1:02:29

community of survivor players

1:02:31

that represent on all facets

1:02:33

of the lgbtq i a plus

1:02:35

community we've got lots

1:02:38

of work to do and there are

1:02:40

a lot of forces i'm

1:02:42

not against our community and

1:02:45

on as ever important for us to

1:02:47

be out and proud and them

1:02:50

and president and survivor has done

1:02:52

a really great job the

1:02:55

only the diversity within our community shown

1:02:58

some of the really great parts of it and it's

1:03:00

also shown some of the ugly parts and

1:03:02

that's just life the matches the way that it is

1:03:05

i'm for those lgbtq

1:03:07

i a plus the

1:03:08

survivor fans and wanna be survivors

1:03:11

apply

1:03:14

and represent and know

1:03:16

that you have is equal chance to win

1:03:18

is anybody else on

1:03:21

and representation matters

1:03:23

and so i'm very grateful to have done

1:03:25

my part and will play one day i

1:03:27

might show began on that island quite

1:03:30

bit older hopefully little bit wiser

1:03:32

but always ready to represent our community

1:03:38

a low elo what is good everyone

1:03:40

this is vince more heat it's had a been

1:03:42

my experience as a queer person of

1:03:44

color on survivor for

1:03:46

me my identity as a gay person has always

1:03:49

been intimately tied with my identity

1:03:51

as first generation american sun

1:03:53

and pong refugees from a low income

1:03:55

upbringing and also from to i ny

1:03:57

yeah and i know that this be a lot to

1:03:59

think of while but i can not just the one

1:04:01

without all of these other aspects

1:04:04

so for me place of i agree with an opportunity

1:04:06

to showcase a diverse communities as

1:04:08

really see my understanding the self injustice

1:04:11

and he was also a rare like a super

1:04:13

duper rare chance of highly and

1:04:15

fight for by parker lgbtq

1:04:18

i a plus stories to be so kiss and valued

1:04:20

i had an amazing experience

1:04:23

and have never regretted my decision because

1:04:25

y'all when else have you ever

1:04:27

seen a melon need is sick

1:04:29

an outspoken on american queer

1:04:31

percent on american media never

1:04:34

i was be there ,

1:04:37

while that was amazing i felt a

1:04:39

lot of pressure to play games that would not negatively

1:04:41

impacts the images of

1:04:43

queer people are worth people

1:04:45

are back into antiquated tropes which did

1:04:47

not allow me to i guess at times

1:04:50

be the realism most authentic version

1:04:52

of myself because i was super unsure

1:04:54

of how to navigate those systems and in

1:04:56

game i was seemed kind of

1:04:58

in the middle because i was

1:05:01

not man enough to be in the men circle

1:05:03

but then on the other side i wasn't see as

1:05:05

trustworthy by the women because i wasn't

1:05:07

quote unquote one of the girls and

1:05:09

so for me this resulted in having to play day

1:05:11

where i kinda think about rising as a baddie

1:05:14

and i knew i was a baddie and rec the potentially

1:05:16

when i'm but i

1:05:18

was literally live torres

1:05:20

these are fighting just

1:05:22

to exist and i think that's reflection what

1:05:24

happens in lot of facets

1:05:27

of our lives as queer people

1:05:29

and especially as queer people of

1:05:31

color who are often the only

1:05:33

or one of the few in spaces are rooms

1:05:35

and probably talking way too much already so

1:05:38

to lgbtq i a plus if i'm

1:05:40

fans out there are my just leaves out with a

1:05:42

small snippet of what snippet tell queer menzies

1:05:45

long people believe that every single person

1:05:47

is given the life story as their ticket

1:05:49

to their mortal world in been so you're

1:05:51

not in the states your nine aberrations

1:05:54

you're not disappointment your exactly

1:05:57

them say this again you are exactly

1:05:59

as you are men the be you are powerful

1:06:01

you are resilient you are beautiful

1:06:03

you are fierce your the brilliance that

1:06:06

bring color and life into the essence of what

1:06:08

been life is an m b

1:06:10

so sign on and continue to

1:06:12

fight the good fight y'all remember

1:06:14

that is lit all vince part

1:06:16

of mission impossible into past

1:06:18

admission vince possible ya

1:06:21

can do that too so go

1:06:23

and be your to his cells yeah

1:06:27

everybody missy bar here since he has

1:06:29

a nice iceland do is use

1:06:31

the most beautiful happy prize

1:06:33

take you to our allies think you to our friends

1:06:36

take you to anyone who gives us as a space i

1:06:39

hope that we all the beautiful pride

1:06:41

in love is love and

1:06:43

i love you all cheers queers

1:06:46

hey all that aside from survivor

1:06:48

forty two and my gay agenda

1:06:51

for playing the game besides winning

1:06:53

was selling the world that our community

1:06:56

is not monolith i wanted

1:06:58

to go out there on ireland and play

1:07:00

a good game but also play

1:07:02

a fun game a silly game

1:07:05

and confident game all rolled up in one

1:07:07

highlighting all of the favorite parts

1:07:09

of mine and my communities personalities

1:07:13

and i truly believe that i did that within the first

1:07:15

five minutes with my game changing move

1:07:17

of smearing space blood

1:07:19

all her myself and talking about my

1:07:21

skincare routine it ,

1:07:23

giving him but seriously

1:07:26

it was such was joy to be given the chance to

1:07:28

represent for clear folk on survivor

1:07:30

forty two

1:07:32

such a large and outspoken part

1:07:34

of the stand down and i'm so grateful

1:07:36

producers are starting to cast more diverse

1:07:39

queer voices i mean

1:07:41

look at the spread across forty one and

1:07:43

forty two doctor at the

1:07:45

record genie machining

1:07:48

romeo send now lydia

1:07:50

jackson myself there's

1:07:53

no to that are just have like our

1:07:55

distinct personalities bring their own

1:07:57

unique voices strategies

1:08:00

love for the game and it makes the show so

1:08:02

much more fun to watch for queer people

1:08:05

i love where the show is going i

1:08:07

love seeing the queer fans engage

1:08:09

in having such blast watching the episode

1:08:12

the perfect carry on top

1:08:14

watching a queer person bring home the title

1:08:17

of sole survivor with her the next few seasons

1:08:19

and i truly believe that that will happen

1:08:22

you're a queer fan listening to

1:08:24

this podcast and you get cast

1:08:27

on the show i want you to bring

1:08:29

home the title baby

1:08:31

they all this is josh from survivor san

1:08:33

juan del sur and i have say

1:08:35

that

1:08:36

one of greatest things that came from thanks survivor

1:08:38

was just being able to read all

1:08:40

the messages that i got from so many

1:08:42

fans in our community to

1:08:45

be able to have been and out gay

1:08:47

man and twenty fourteen on the show

1:08:50

where survivor actually aired multiple

1:08:52

conversations about

1:08:54

the out

1:08:56

being gay that

1:08:59

that was that was a big deal

1:09:01

and i reading this

1:09:03

just saying that they

1:09:06

you all appreciated just the

1:09:08

representation onscreen meant

1:09:10

so much and i still get messages

1:09:12

to this day saying that it's help

1:09:14

them with their family as they're

1:09:16

watching the show not only my

1:09:18

story but a lot of are

1:09:20

different queer stories from we're

1:09:22

survivor players and

1:09:25

that's that's huge and something

1:09:27

that i keep with me and know

1:09:30

that that was probably one of the

1:09:32

real reasons why i was on the show

1:09:35

and i'm glad that i had the impact that it did

1:09:37

have and i'm just

1:09:39

so thankful for all you fans

1:09:42

and keeping

1:09:44

the love of the game going and

1:09:47

i'm right there with you watching every

1:09:50

every episode

1:09:54

hey hey what's up of he of

1:09:56

rob a podcast community this

1:09:58

is read chilly here and i am super

1:10:00

stoked to be with y'all on the pride

1:10:02

has spoken podcast series pay

1:10:05

, having me happy friday all all

1:10:07

, getting just on

1:10:09

survivor was a big moment

1:10:12

in my life it always will be

1:10:14

i'm not just as a member of the lgbtq

1:10:16

i a plus community and but as

1:10:19

a member of the super fandom of

1:10:21

survivor who has been

1:10:23

there since day one

1:10:25

episode one season one and

1:10:28

has just love the evolution the show

1:10:30

and love the evolution of a gameplay so

1:10:33

when i got past i didn't want

1:10:35

to just go out there as hey i'm

1:10:38

representing big a's and i'm

1:10:40

the gay guy i really wanted to go

1:10:42

in there and try and represent

1:10:44

super fans and people who really

1:10:46

loves the gameplay and try

1:10:49

to be a strategic

1:10:51

competitor a physical competitor

1:10:53

and social competitor so that was really my

1:10:55

objective going into the game is that i

1:10:57

wanted to test my limits and

1:11:00

go deep into the game and really

1:11:02

get a chance to play and see

1:11:04

how i did which i'm super

1:11:06

super grateful for

1:11:07

being

1:11:10

gay and being cast on my season survivor

1:11:12

was really interesting because we've all

1:11:14

been around long enough now to know

1:11:16

that if you're going to be on reality show

1:11:18

they are going to try and cast for conflict

1:11:20

in some way it usually by

1:11:23

bringing people together from widely

1:11:26

varying walks of life in our our

1:11:28

season that was especially true you had

1:11:30

someone on the because she was

1:11:32

previously , vocal and

1:11:34

outwardly or chemists the lgbtq

1:11:37

i a plus community and you also

1:11:39

had people on our season that

1:11:41

have little to no experience

1:11:44

with gay people in their daily

1:11:46

lives and arm

1:11:48

i think it in lot of ways

1:11:51

proves what a social experiment

1:11:53

survivor really is because

1:11:55

i'm not sure if production got

1:11:58

the results that maybe they saw they

1:12:00

were going to get on paper

1:12:02

by bringing us all together

1:12:05

assume the end of because

1:12:07

ultimately lot

1:12:09

of these people who

1:12:12

i think maybe on paper

1:12:14

seemed like they wouldn't get along wouldn't

1:12:16

necessarily line work together

1:12:19

became some of my personal

1:12:21

friends and closest allies out there you had

1:12:23

people like cease and wes

1:12:26

in our cool at first glance

1:12:28

i wouldn't have anticipated going into

1:12:30

the game being like yo these

1:12:32

are going to see the people that i bond references

1:12:35

to not him saying about check

1:12:37

for my own free judging

1:12:39

of people which was really cool

1:12:41

because i had to kind of let

1:12:43

go of anything being like a right we're

1:12:45

all in this together

1:12:47

find common ground and that's really

1:12:49

what we did i mean i didn't have really

1:12:51

any interaction with john rocker thought

1:12:53

was really all josh and mean they

1:12:56

were like two peas in peas pod over there so

1:12:58

i think and and of ways all of this is entirely

1:13:00

unexpected but we would

1:13:02

sit around the campfire and just

1:13:04

randomly out the blue white

1:13:07

flash or t their allies would just say

1:13:09

man i just can't believe that

1:13:11

you know i now have a friend that's

1:13:13

gay guy i just never expected

1:13:15

bad and it's so cool we have so much

1:13:18

in common and like i'm happy

1:13:20

to call you my friend of so that

1:13:22

was something that was really awesome

1:13:24

to be part of not just personally

1:13:27

but on a broader

1:13:29

spectrum where you

1:13:31

have people who message you

1:13:34

your messages on a daily basis from fancying

1:13:36

listen the way you played the game and way you

1:13:38

made snacks and and people you bonded

1:13:40

with has really changed perception

1:13:42

for my family of what it means

1:13:44

to be gay so that's

1:13:47

always something that i will terrorists that's

1:13:49

really special and is huge

1:13:51

testament to just the

1:13:53

reach of survivor and how it really

1:13:56

it really can have an

1:13:58

impact on social scene

1:14:01

want to send a quick shout out of encouragement

1:14:03

to members of the queer communities are listening

1:14:05

to the podcast today i

1:14:08

, that many times our lives can be challenging

1:14:11

fraught with frustration isolation

1:14:14

and a lotta times loneliness but

1:14:16

i strongly encourage to go out there

1:14:18

and to find your tribe your

1:14:21

chosen family that you get to

1:14:23

do life with maybe it's a family

1:14:25

you were born into or maybe

1:14:27

it's the families that you choose the

1:14:29

have your life but that's the great part

1:14:31

about it is that you get to choose

1:14:34

who supports you and who you

1:14:36

get to support so go out there

1:14:39

find your tribe and lean into

1:14:41

the resources that are out

1:14:43

there for our community and

1:14:45

to the allies that are listening i just

1:14:47

wanna say thank you for

1:14:49

, there with us for supporting

1:14:51

us for lifting up our voices

1:14:54

and continuing to push with us

1:14:56

because we can't do it alone and

1:14:58

it truly does take a community not

1:15:01

just to survive but to thrive

1:15:04

said everyone listening see

1:15:06

be in your authentic selves seat

1:15:08

thrive in keep pushing and

1:15:11

are wishing you all have very happy

1:15:13

prior to being so much the robbers

1:15:15

a podcast that work this

1:15:17

is read jelly and the pride

1:15:19

has spoken

1:15:25

er i dag that was amazing her

1:15:27

for i'm retired have a use for was card

1:15:29

that we heard from all these lovely survivors

1:15:32

that was those i love this

1:15:34

that was the best or

1:15:37

this is the best this is that the best idea what they

1:15:39

frauds these are nods you

1:15:41

, we reach out to a lot of people

1:15:43

we heard back from lot of people it or not

1:15:46

all inclusive in terms of a lgbtq

1:15:48

a survivors were really sets international

1:15:50

survivors well there's lots of their implementation of

1:15:52

their i think my like first as

1:15:54

is like sense of love to those those folks

1:15:57

we'll we'll have all of you who are a listening

1:15:59

in and i know that does

1:16:02

when we when receiving the cliffs in other

1:16:04

so appreciative of the lgbtq community

1:16:06

and i associate lot of the such that

1:16:08

would love to hear from from you folks but

1:16:11

every , is this is tremendous so many

1:16:13

interview get the interview i love the

1:16:16

in in the intro to amy's

1:16:18

original excuse to the secretary people have

1:16:20

always once it's

1:16:23

that sir alan's as high as

1:16:24

they you know to every single one of the survivors

1:16:27

ah that's ah i got interview

1:16:29

or sense in voice that i just

1:16:31

it really appreciative them for sharing their

1:16:33

stories they think you you may think

1:16:36

of these people were all and tv and this will

1:16:38

be like no big deal for them the you know be talking

1:16:40

about specifically like they're cleared

1:16:42

fans that experience as a the lgbtq

1:16:44

i rider player and for

1:16:47

it's not that comes around for everyone and like even

1:16:49

for people at a fumble for and some

1:16:51

level you know yourself as that

1:16:53

sells a deeper maybe on those then i think

1:16:55

any of us did on the south on some

1:16:57

is really really appreciated for them all for

1:16:59

sharing their stories on and i also

1:17:01

spoke to some people that weren't in

1:17:03

didn't feel like it was the right things you are

1:17:05

a part of this and i'm really grateful for

1:17:08

them for talking with me as well and

1:17:10

just it's just it's

1:17:12

just beautiful and at this

1:17:14

community to we have and i felt very

1:17:17

very very lucky and less to be part of this

1:17:21

i just really hope that we can keep creating cs

1:17:23

where are people whether it's survivor

1:17:25

players will it whether it's the amazing and podcasts

1:17:27

is i who came on last week the

1:17:29

talk about their stories where people

1:17:31

feel like they can share about this is i really do think

1:17:34

it's the kind of thing that the more we talked

1:17:36

about it the easier it is rather people to talk about

1:17:38

it and this to the time for us sealed

1:17:40

really i think he visible if

1:17:42

we're able to sell i'm very

1:17:44

grateful

1:17:46

they need bit about like there's people you spoke to

1:17:48

who like we're not ready to chat

1:17:50

or or print promoted

1:17:52

reasons is when is like give some give some

1:17:54

to folks you're listening and you're like you

1:17:56

know you're queer or trans or

1:17:58

that are not the farming

1:18:00

or whatever it is and

1:18:02

you're not ready to come out you're not ready to say

1:18:04

it's anybody's that's totally okay like

1:18:07

love you were our hope is

1:18:09

that like either doing stuff like this makes it

1:18:11

like

1:18:12

you know easier to like enough for people

1:18:14

the future to turn to come out it's like the

1:18:16

society want to , to

1:18:18

building traits but if like you're not ready

1:18:20

to come out deal know when you're ready to come out

1:18:22

right right then yeah hopefully

1:18:24

you will as it will be lovely and will celebrate

1:18:26

with the of butter he has

1:18:28

been acknowledged that everybody's up in a

1:18:30

cell yeah i and i

1:18:33

and i think one the things that this series and

1:18:35

not only your conversations abby

1:18:37

but also steve voice

1:18:40

mails illustrated is just that yeah

1:18:42

that queer community is not a monolith

1:18:45

that it's complicated complex

1:18:47

it's dynamic there are so many

1:18:49

different ways to

1:18:51

the queer arm in general

1:18:53

but even with in this realm of survivor where

1:18:55

a lot of us have something

1:18:58

so many things in common they're

1:19:00

also just so many differences

1:19:02

and i love that i really

1:19:04

feel like over the course of the series

1:19:07

like yes it was a

1:19:09

survivor podcast point

1:19:12

if it wasn't a thrive podcast this is

1:19:14

podcast about

1:19:16

people and their lives and sure

1:19:18

they do also happens to be queer in

1:19:21

a small supportive a multitude ways

1:19:23

but i think that that's kind the beauty and

1:19:25

i hope that people could really see themselves

1:19:28

in all the voices that they heard from

1:19:30

over the course of this arm and

1:19:32

you know if there's one person whose

1:19:35

voice or words resonated

1:19:37

or if it's even like one sentence one

1:19:39

comment or something you're taking away as

1:19:42

clear person or even as non korean person

1:19:44

i think that that's that's success

1:19:47

for us and so thank you i

1:19:49

especially like especially the queer people been part

1:19:52

of this and tuning and tuning sten

1:19:54

of hearing themselves hearing my conversations

1:19:57

my conversations also thanks to everyone else you'd

1:19:59

like to and the learn and listen

1:20:01

and hear our voices like right now

1:20:03

we appreciate you and

1:20:06

it especially a world where often

1:20:08

times people are looking to silence

1:20:10

our voices and marginalize

1:20:13

us it's it's

1:20:15

it's really something that you know

1:20:17

that were here together talk to

1:20:19

you know you're literally your journey my voice right now

1:20:21

it's kind met a talking about it some

1:20:24

i want to sit there sit there

1:20:27

filming these interviews and immediately

1:20:29

i members there's moment

1:20:31

it embraces on has replaced

1:20:33

by guess i've heard brace such a lot

1:20:35

but i remember sitting in the listen to the zeke

1:20:37

interview and being like

1:20:39

the crap outta me to guess i have ever

1:20:41

been set on rob as a podcast like literally

1:20:43

it's and so do want to acknowledge that

1:20:45

like to eat out robbers given us some space

1:20:47

to just like freight this like incredibly clear

1:20:49

thing i hope like straight people are listening like

1:20:51

the sorry that have like i hope you like you loved

1:20:53

it and it was like insightful gazing

1:20:55

you took away from something what i'm really like

1:20:57

for me like kind like super proud

1:21:00

of was reading this like super clear space

1:21:02

where like he that the lives the conversation

1:21:04

the amy amy be like there you

1:21:06

can call me homo you know like steered and like like

1:21:09

this you every not like generally like that

1:21:11

everybody can call me i am at our

1:21:13

own as less if years yeah yes

1:21:15

but you know we created dislikes video

1:21:18

particular like safe spaces the people making

1:21:20

out of that word cydia illiquid actually

1:21:22

either illiquid feel like this is like snowflakes

1:21:24

you know it's with it's is like that we just what it would be able to be

1:21:26

ourselves up being like persecuted for us

1:21:28

and feel like there were so much of energy over

1:21:30

course of this whole series

1:21:33

of our collective we had people in the

1:21:35

podcast panel who are like i'm recording

1:21:37

in this room and my parents over there like don't

1:21:39

know i'm out like either ever to slander space

1:21:41

for like you just be who be are ah

1:21:44

we're going to happy for you proud of we love you

1:21:46

and just like i love how how

1:21:48

queer this like series was

1:21:51

some silly to say but it's like on

1:21:53

rob as a podcast disappeared logically

1:21:56

know we employ we're

1:21:59

here to

1:22:00

granted even realize the thing is we've

1:22:02

had this space and i think sometimes

1:22:04

people looked at where we are

1:22:06

as society and you know maybe it's shifting

1:22:08

people are starting to appreciate where

1:22:10

we are and like the rights we have

1:22:12

and and what were able to be

1:22:15

, that we haven't progressively it's

1:22:17

but you know they're so long way go

1:22:20

and they're still lot people

1:22:22

who i think of like that

1:22:24

i think of podcasts palace think of the

1:22:26

survivors and i just think of like

1:22:29

like kids at home little queer

1:22:31

kids you might be in closet at home

1:22:33

or maybe they're out and fair

1:22:36

he knows their community is struggling

1:22:38

with that and pushing back against them

1:22:40

and you know i think one

1:22:42

thing that's so awesome grace

1:22:45

on a points you with this too is

1:22:47

like the fact that be to blast and like

1:22:49

having tide and be joyful and

1:22:51

this wasn't just the super serious conversation

1:22:54

likes being queer events

1:22:56

only about our from a bit about our

1:22:58

joy and it's i'm just

1:23:00

so happen to be happy with you you only

1:23:03

lonely and thirtieth financing

1:23:05

as as the as person

1:23:07

for a pretty clear

1:23:10

joy is like really

1:23:12

is the fucking amazing beautiful are

1:23:14

far paying all the time

1:23:17

grace

1:23:18

i can i was a suicide

1:23:23

no i really feel that and i decided

1:23:25

i wanted to say that yeah

1:23:27

i think that when i it in the process

1:23:29

of reaching out to be of this i realize dislike

1:23:31

how many as you bj a

1:23:33

it's of our players they're actually have been like it

1:23:35

was way more than i saw it on

1:23:37

an age as wanna say i mean

1:23:39

that we talked about in pretty much all the conversations

1:23:42

with you know why is coming next

1:23:44

hopefully for representational survivor and

1:23:46

i see the me see if take away

1:23:48

and something that i think i especially learned

1:23:50

from the arm is thinking

1:23:52

about we really really want more

1:23:54

representation and more different has to

1:23:56

represent he said the and like

1:24:00

the environment of the shell has to be safe

1:24:02

for the people that come on the show

1:24:04

and i think that is both in terms of the production

1:24:06

and ah the filming and

1:24:08

also the social media and things

1:24:11

like that and i just really

1:24:13

really hope to they know it the important you

1:24:16

survivor you have more represent

1:24:18

his endeavors it's obviously something that they've been

1:24:21

you know committed to i'm an

1:24:23

i just really really hope that they i

1:24:26

do make it a safe for people

1:24:28

because they think we want that representation

1:24:30

but we wanted to be a positive as a

1:24:32

positive experience as serving as on an

1:24:34

island or nasscom hand can

1:24:36

be ah fair i've

1:24:38

got yeah love ya

1:24:40

image

1:24:42

ah gas know there's so much

1:24:44

to say grace and must i mean one thing

1:24:46

met that i think that like we've

1:24:48

had the space to have these

1:24:50

conversations safe for you with one

1:24:52

another and of you've had conversations

1:24:54

you've had all those survivor

1:24:56

players shared their voices and voice mails

1:24:59

and like that's something

1:25:01

that i want more of these

1:25:03

conversations that at we

1:25:05

have here to be on our tvs

1:25:08

and i want to thank you know like

1:25:10

everyone who makes survivor

1:25:13

and like powers that be for

1:25:15

even just like be like you're doing

1:25:17

queer stuff like that's cool like some

1:25:19

sort of our people behind the scenes tooth

1:25:22

who might be tuning in and listings our

1:25:24

voices i just want to thank you

1:25:26

for tuning in and listening and

1:25:28

tearing and saying like we need

1:25:30

it with it we deserve to have we as

1:25:32

a queer community deserved have been used for

1:25:35

we could have these conversations and hopefully

1:25:37

they do end up on at the

1:25:39

tv screen in front of millions

1:25:41

and millions and millions of people and

1:25:44

so that's so that's that's guess they're

1:25:46

i feel good that will get there sooner

1:25:48

later will

1:25:50

this is abby and matt will test

1:25:52

give a little bit of inside basal i'm assuming

1:25:54

stream over think years ago

1:25:56

this this this podcast being a caesar

1:25:58

was like to subsist some interviews are some

1:26:01

first survivor is like as is really simple but it

1:26:03

went through a lot of admiration to like what it was going to

1:26:05

be and i'm really glad

1:26:07

that we ended up in spot where like with

1:26:10

you evian i just like wanna like technology

1:26:12

i mean right before the president ruth price

1:26:14

you're like i've never done an interview before

1:26:16

have ever done it like it's a conversation

1:26:18

you'll be great your mail it like are both men

1:26:20

i have been in situation of as are interviewing

1:26:23

are hosting a pot whatever and it's like get

1:26:25

his nerve wracking you nailed it from like moment

1:26:27

you doing it but also things like i'm so

1:26:29

glad that it was these conversations

1:26:31

between like to hear people who had been like out

1:26:34

on the the show a lot

1:26:36

out on the ship but like you were like out on the island

1:26:38

above you've lived through the experience of playing driver

1:26:41

and and and being queer person and think

1:26:43

it's just like it brought something out the conversations

1:26:45

i don't think like if like i was interviewing

1:26:48

or any of them they were when we would have got

1:26:50

quite the same right a thing i thought it was

1:26:52

just such a like a unique cool

1:26:54

thing to get a ticket to here so i'm really

1:26:56

appreciative a i'm so glad reached

1:26:58

out to you so i'm i'm going to thank myself

1:27:00

reaching out to you need be like

1:27:02

we gotta do this we gotta figure out what this is because

1:27:04

the same from a fee are you being on the feedback

1:27:06

show during survivor forty two being like want

1:27:08

do something queer i dunno and i was

1:27:10

like i have an idea and it's not

1:27:12

the idea that it ended up being but i'm really proud of

1:27:14

like what we've put together i'm really thankful that you said yes

1:27:17

and yes it's either you did the combos

1:27:19

and match for you joining along the right as

1:27:21

as well are doing so much for that

1:27:23

a this is fantastic so

1:27:25

i know i just have to pile on to

1:27:28

the love for well first of all the love

1:27:30

for every because like be

1:27:33

thing is

1:27:34

and we've all you know it we've experienced

1:27:36

this at live events even

1:27:39

and i'm sure you've experiences every

1:27:41

where people are like nervous to come up or

1:27:43

even to reach out that i don't know are applied

1:27:45

to the cm or whatever

1:27:47

it might be and there's such separation

1:27:50

it's not only when comes to survivor but

1:27:52

any tv and media

1:27:54

were like that person's on my screen

1:27:57

and i am just me sitting

1:27:59

at home mom house and i'm so distant

1:28:01

from it and you've really helps to

1:28:03

bridge this staff and must abide

1:28:06

even for us as our testers wait

1:28:08

for

1:28:10

you know we're all people and

1:28:12

we're all

1:28:13

living life and like going through

1:28:15

you know someone love different thing is

1:28:17

to also have similar things and i love

1:28:20

that you kind of like appreciate

1:28:22

that and my my bet you've

1:28:24

you've given , the space

1:28:26

you've you've been a breads abby you

1:28:28

are the breads thanks

1:28:30

and languages and year

1:28:32

that another that milani the

1:28:35

of uneasy for uneasy sack and then that

1:28:37

you know this know this hallmark of the side cast

1:28:40

they have a you didn't you both some

1:28:42

that's because like you to

1:28:45

they are bringing all your expertise as

1:28:47

season are have hijacked there is but

1:28:50

, bringing yourselves and your identities

1:28:52

instance like i feel like was really really special

1:28:55

have three different identities a different perspective

1:28:58

on life stories coming

1:29:00

together coming this and to make decisions

1:29:02

about this and everything like that so i

1:29:05

am soon the extremely grateful for you and

1:29:07

them of the for supporting me when i

1:29:09

got excited when cool people responded yeah

1:29:15

this is in very fun as beautiful and who

1:29:17

knows maybe this will be the last time three

1:29:19

of us

1:29:20

do you are cleared thing more

1:29:23

more integrity so there's integrity set up the

1:29:25

speech that we used speak pay a protest the

1:29:27

survivors like can you see the film message it

1:29:29

was never not weird for me over the past

1:29:31

month just like you a message from genie

1:29:33

from survivor from from you

1:29:35

know read know survivor like it was never

1:29:37

a it's it's still not not

1:29:39

weird you know a but i'm so thankful for

1:29:41

all those folks you submitted cliffs all the folks

1:29:44

who agreed to cydia to full cydia form

1:29:46

interview a conversation with

1:29:48

usb and everybody who listened and all our podcast

1:29:50

friends who into a few weeks ago so this

1:29:52

is just better the light it's been a tree

1:29:55

and you know settling for say it again and

1:29:57

cleared is that there be yourself you're amazing

1:29:59

love you like oh yeah

1:30:01

ah

1:30:04

you can it supports other equivalent

1:30:06

they're by buying of the pride spoken t shirts

1:30:09

or i have the robbers

1:30:11

podcast stores are treated us let

1:30:13

us know what you thought of says the show all

1:30:15

that good stuff ah yes perhaps

1:30:17

we begged for know but for now that soon

1:30:23

isn't that i dunno how to show how

1:30:25

do we do and then i ,

1:30:27

know that the the

1:30:30

of plugs depart i depart we

1:30:32

probably shouldn't replace a plug b

1:30:34

that'd be where'd you want yeah

1:30:36

capital we want to blogs are now plugs

1:30:38

we can easily edit that so i'm

1:30:40

i'm glad yeah let's do a quick will do push like

1:30:42

yeah okay um maybe

1:30:44

i could do a using it you a heavy

1:30:47

okay yeah the work

1:30:49

of the people find you keep up with you

1:30:51

and the queerness and all the

1:30:53

other arm doctor the things that you do

1:30:55

yea or eye on instagram as

1:30:58

at every jag and on twitter and to

1:31:00

talk is i have yet to go to m

1:31:02

and ah yes army there it's almost always

1:31:04

clear stuff so we will get to

1:31:06

keep going get cameo from oh yes and cameo

1:31:08

as well uh yeah if you want you want

1:31:10

to personalized practice spoken

1:31:13

message back at you are they're

1:31:15

doing that they were , a

1:31:17

personal video podcasts is so

1:31:19

actually i have her sammy

1:31:21

else you can probably hear a plane other five

1:31:25

ml ourselves mentally no

1:31:29

grace what about you work and he just

1:31:31

sees of

1:31:33

your stuff on pusher recaps do lots

1:31:35

of t v recap set of anything

1:31:37

at the moment the next big thing and doing i'm going do

1:31:40

i what we do in saddles with the great lindsay wilson

1:31:42

very excited for the let's news drop of

1:31:44

never an ounce of or and do weekly movie

1:31:46

cover to talk about elvis next week

1:31:48

the of of black phone will do it some boy with

1:31:50

it's like yourself still awesome movie coverage

1:31:52

over and robbers podcast to the osby podcast

1:31:54

talk about sports a very exciting guess this week ten

1:31:57

from the been kinda chapman that

1:31:59

east orange

1:32:01

so that is fun and

1:32:04

yet every anything else do you can follow me

1:32:06

as high from grace on twitter and have

1:32:08

you been

1:32:09

mail my eyes we love it you can thanks

1:32:12

for asking , find me

1:32:14

at matt scott t w on the

1:32:16

social ills especially on twitter i love me

1:32:18

some tweets and you

1:32:20

know i do i'm on the wrestling or half appear

1:32:22

on or a tape he checked out with me

1:32:25

and my are talking about pro wrestling

1:32:27

just trust me on pod friends interviewing

1:32:29

some of your favorite

1:32:31

had friends are very creative

1:32:34

title in so that's certainly

1:32:36

another place ads on various

1:32:39

other exciting stuff coming up this

1:32:41

summer that i can't yet announced

1:32:43

by relates to relates

1:32:45

survivor and

1:32:47

ah allowed to say to say

1:32:50

live reality games i

1:32:52

was part of that will be announced so follow

1:32:55

mapped out gw as i bring

1:32:57

the queer representation said that

1:32:59

damn which i will not name because it hasn't

1:33:01

yet been announced yeah

1:33:04

we were here we did plugs were

1:33:06

just stalling set we can see podcasting

1:33:09

together by any final

1:33:11

words like abby i'll put you on the spot

1:33:14

like the clip one of the toilet some closing merger

1:33:16

the man the

1:33:18

and it was just best this is a service

1:33:21

and i really hope people enjoyed it

1:33:23

and yeah , just

1:33:25

i feel like a it throughout this is to

1:33:27

spend so many clear people that i

1:33:29

see like have been seen medicine also have said

1:33:31

things to me of like of unclear enough

1:33:33

to be part of the third the

1:33:35

read seen by this and just want you to know

1:33:37

if you're listening you're are clear

1:33:39

enough you are valid that behind

1:33:41

the as you are and have you tried to you

1:33:43

and have you guys everybody out there listening

1:33:45

and yeah i

1:33:48

love you all i genuine

1:33:49

love you are happy

1:33:51

prize at the elysee was elysee was for

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identity

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really removed the thousand dollar

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tears

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other

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from from to on

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show

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really we didn't have fifty thousand dollar

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tears prize clean sober to zero

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have you seen it was america's free

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purchase necessary with posters

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introduces feisty wish posters could win

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at fourth of july sales on at gap

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