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baby. We're starting the podcast right

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now. We're back.

2:28

You know what? Dude, live. Welcome everybody to

2:31

the show. I kid at my time. I

2:33

started the social media a new podcast. The

2:36

back, so I get WWE new podcast.

2:38

So I get WWE back again. Bolt's

2:40

going back in the day. Where it all started

2:42

before them all. I see

2:45

diabetes podcast is so fun

2:47

and crazy. It has no rules. It.

2:50

For the manga, I'm sorry.

2:53

It's a comedy podcast. This isn't

2:55

NPR. That's what the podcast does.

2:57

Is there any better show? What is the original

2:59

original? What's

3:09

up, dude? What's going on?

3:11

Welcome to another episode. Of

3:13

you know what, dude. The first

3:16

podcast. Everybody knows I started

3:18

podcasting. It's a fact. And

3:20

I've been doing it for fifteen years. I've been doing

3:22

it here at the seller. Up

3:25

on the second floor. We started

3:27

a little section over there. Now it's a studio.

3:30

We're getting even bigger but I'm telling

3:32

you right now to all the shows I've ever

3:34

done, all the shows I've

3:37

done, I'm very excited about today.

3:39

Today, is the day

3:42

you tuned in at the right

3:44

episode. Today, everything's gonna change

3:46

from this day forward because the guest

3:49

I have is one of my close friends.

3:51

I love him. I love him. I

3:53

probably love him more than he loves me.

3:57

But He's never been on my podcast

3:59

ever. I've had everybody on this show.

4:01

I've had

4:03

Don Rickel's I had Lucille

4:05

Ball. Well, I've had

4:08

chappell with rock and

4:10

Will Smith at the same time

4:12

I never had this guy, so I'm very excited to

4:14

have him on the show. Please, ladies and

4:16

gentlemen. Welcome, my good friend.

4:19

Mister Luis CK. What's up, buddy? How

4:21

are

4:21

you? How are you doing, man? They do love you as

4:23

much as you love me. Do you? Yeah.

4:26

I might love you more.

4:28

Why? Why? Why do you say that? think you're

4:31

you might have some insecurity feeling that

4:33

makes it feel like you love me more. Like

4:35

you feel the feeling of your love? Yes.

4:38

More to you.

4:39

Well, I actually do have insecurity. I just

4:41

wanted to hear you say. But I just calmly

4:44

love you

4:44

more. You calmly love me. Yeah. I I love

4:46

you.

4:46

I love you. Yeah. I

4:48

love you with, like, a a nervous energy.

4:50

That's right. Right. You love me when I

4:51

love you. With faith and calmness. And

4:53

-- Right. -- certainty. Like

4:54

a like a real dad. That's right.

4:57

Yeah. Instead of a step dad.

4:58

Yeah. Right. It's right. Like Yeah.

5:00

I love you like a foster kid. Did you like the

5:02

present? Yeah. I liked.

5:04

We had awful the people put that kind

5:06

of pressure on kids, on little kids. Like,

5:08

Do you like do you like made you like the present? Do you

5:11

like what I

5:12

Like,

5:12

make it an eight year old girl? Like, it's okay.

5:15

You're fine. It's fine. You

5:17

know? I I do do

5:18

that. I I like fucking with Max.

5:21

Well, you're a proper dad. You're not a step dad.

5:23

You're a real dad.

5:23

Yeah. Step dad's I've had. I've had

5:26

one bad one that used to beat

5:28

me and I had that was very

5:29

vicious. Yeah. Which I can't even comprehend

5:32

now having Max.

5:32

It's crazy, isn't it? I

5:35

couldn't like I've tried to visualize a little

5:37

a little head. Yeah.

5:39

For, like, hitting it for making a joke.

5:41

I remember making a joke and

5:43

being smacked and going,

5:45

that's not your laugh. And

5:49

I still remember it to this day. When I

5:51

laugh, I had somebody say,

5:53

that's not your laugh. That's not your laugh, he

5:55

said to me. It was a third

5:58

grade and he smacked me in the

6:00

head because I

6:00

went, because kids develop

6:02

their laugh. Yeah. Max Fakes laughs

6:05

all the time. Be weird because I remember my

6:07

dad. Beating up my sister

6:09

for laughing. Really? And it was the

6:11

same same thing. Because she was fake

6:13

laughing. What does that laugh? Yeah.

6:16

Stop that. And

6:18

then she started crying. Yeah. He's

6:20

like, oh, now don't cry.

6:22

And so he beat her? Yeah. I was like,

6:24

naturally, it's the only thing left to do. I it

6:26

is the progression of it. Your kid does a

6:28

punty laugh. You you got on the cut

6:30

it out that may cry. When you

6:32

got left, you gotta shit out of it. No. Because they'll be

6:34

whole family. Yeah. I have a hundred

6:36

percent because they'll be go through life. I mean,

6:38

I get it. Being a country

6:40

crier. Exactly. Who wants that? No.

6:42

You have to make a choice. That's right.

6:44

Before the show, people don't know this that

6:48

well, I mean, it almost didn't happen.

6:52

I I mean, this is a big episode. I told

6:54

everybody, let's get out of the yeah.

6:56

I got it. Let's do it. Make sure everything I

6:58

wanna go I literally said, I wanna

7:00

go at twelve. When he gets here, we

7:02

go. Because I don't wanna talk. I don't wanna have a

7:04

little small talk, and I don't wanna It's twelve

7:06

twenty. Right. And he

7:08

and and, of course, it didn't happen something.

7:10

What happens when it and I started to

7:12

panic and I've been working on my

7:15

anger and my

7:16

my, you know, my frustration issues

7:19

with people. Yeah. And you

7:21

had said something you said you call

7:23

me right

7:23

down. What did I say? I don't remember.

7:25

You said

7:28

this happens? Yeah. Because I

7:30

directed movies in stuff. So you just sometimes

7:32

you go, you're, like, in the middle you know, like, we got and

7:34

sometimes

7:34

it's, like, when there's a chemistry. Right.

7:36

We gotta go. We gotta go and they go. We're not

7:39

cameras down. And

7:41

you just go poof. Right

7:43

poof. And you just shut down. You

7:45

have to shut down emotionally. Yeah.

7:47

You just go on pause and

7:49

then they do it. And then they do the thing and

7:51

you see people running around and everybody's upset

7:53

and there's one guy in the crew who

7:55

has to do

7:55

it, who's like usually the lowest on

7:57

the Right. And he's just trembling

7:59

hands and he's trying to fix it and everybody's

8:02

staring at him like this. Yeah. Then you

8:04

just try to cool it

8:04

down. There's nothing you can do about it. There's nothing

8:07

you can do. There's nothing you can do about it. And it worked.

8:09

I mean, these guys were mush was sweating.

8:11

Yeah. I mean, really bad.

8:13

Like heart attack bad. Right. MAX,

8:15

little MAX was panicking. Yeah.

8:18

Here's what happens when that stuff happens

8:20

and I go, I wanna know what's

8:22

happening.

8:22

Yeah. Nobody will talk to you.

8:24

Nobody talk to

8:24

you. What's going on guys? And they don't wanna talk to you because they're

8:27

just trying to fix it.

8:27

They shut off. What you do is you have a conversation

8:30

with them later and you say,

8:32

that can't that can't

8:33

happen. And they'll go, yeah. But it's because the cable was

8:36

broken. Yeah. But why didn't you know that

8:38

before? But don't yell at them. Yeah. What you're saying?

8:40

Don't yell. No. You don't yell at them. You just talk to them,

8:42

which is worse. It's like with your fire with your

8:44

father. Right. If your

8:46

father screams at you, you just go, oh, this guy's

8:48

a dick.

8:48

Right.

8:49

But if your father explains that

8:52

you disappointed him --

8:53

Yeah. -- that this was unacceptable. You just

8:55

wanna die inside. Sure. It's a bet

8:57

it's better. Yeah. So if you wanna hurt these guys, talk

8:59

to them later. Yeah. Okay.

9:03

And Max Actually, And you now him, why didn't

9:05

you do a dry run? Like, why

9:07

didn't you know this problem before the second

9:09

he walked in

9:10

here? What were you doing while he was on his

9:12

way here? Can we practice that? Like, you be me, and I'll be

9:14

them. Yeah. So

9:15

so what happened? What how come we didn't start at

9:17

noon? I got the stop. Do you remember? Excuse

9:19

me. Yeah. Let's see, but, like, polite is

9:21

worse. Oh, Excuse me.

9:23

I'm

9:23

sorry. Do you mind? Yeah. Sure. Thank

9:26

you. Sorry. Yeah. Thank you.

9:27

Okay. I don't know you

9:30

remember, but I said that we needed to start right

9:32

at noon. Yep. Do you remember that? Do you remember

9:34

that? Do you remember how important it was to me?

9:36

I can start right at noon? Yes. I

9:38

do. Okay. And I didn't get that

9:41

results. No. And I need you to know that that's

9:43

super frustrating. I know. I I

9:45

yes. I agree. Says something, why

9:47

did that happen? Why why why did

9:49

my telling you how important it

9:51

was not result in me getting what

9:53

I

9:53

need? Can I go now?

9:57

Yes. That

9:59

hurt. Mhmm. That that

10:02

one hurt with the glass and you paused.

10:06

Somebody broke something. Excuse

10:11

me? Somebody

10:14

there was something broke. Somebody broke something. They

10:16

didn't fix it.

10:17

Uh-huh. Who did you break something and

10:19

I did not. Okay? Does somebody in our team

10:21

break something that didn't I don't know.

10:23

But somebody yes. Okay. And when did you find

10:25

that out? Right

10:27

now. Yes. But right before the show. So why did

10:29

you find it out right before the show?

10:37

I

10:38

don't know. Okay. Thank

10:42

you. Okay. Mhmm. I'm

10:44

sorry.

10:44

I'm sorry. Can you imagine what when I said

10:46

to you oh, that heart I said to

10:49

you, we need to start right at noon. Yeah. That

10:51

was at, what, ten o'clock this morning.

10:53

It was actually three days ago. Three days ago.

10:55

Yeah. So you had time to make

10:57

sure I did. Did you do

10:59

anything to make sure we started at

11:00

noon, or did you just have it in your head as

11:03

an No. I

11:03

did everything. I did well, then you would have

11:05

found out that the cable was broken

11:07

before we started if you had

11:09

checked everything because you knew how

11:11

important it was. When I say things to you, like,

11:13

we need to start right at noon. I need that to

11:15

actually translate into, like, action on

11:17

your

11:17

part, not just, like, a yes

11:19

or.

11:19

Right? Yeah.

11:21

Okay. We each other.

11:22

I do. Yes. I understand. I really wanna thank you

11:24

for listening.

11:25

Thank you. That's

11:27

how you're in. Oh, wasn't that horrible.

11:30

Thank you at the

11:30

end. Yeah. Yeah. That to

11:33

thank torture. But I've never done that

11:35

to anybody. No. That's harmful.

11:38

Look, I'm sweating. You've never been this

11:40

horrible. I'm gonna do that

11:41

to all

11:42

these fucking horrible. You no.

11:44

Don't do sick. Oh, I'm doing it too. You just do

11:46

your own, you know, make it your own. You know, the fact

11:48

the the fact that you see,

11:50

my thing is what the fuck cappened. Yeah.

11:52

Nobody

11:52

because everybody knows they they can dismiss

11:55

you. Yep. That that you're right. Yeah.

11:57

You know, anger

11:59

I've been working on my anger because I was

12:01

given my anger -- Yeah.

12:03

-- at a

12:03

young age. Right. That's how my

12:05

stepdad did my mother It tell

12:07

you a snap. Yeah. You

12:09

snap. It's like a Boston thing. Right.

12:11

All my friends, moms, everybody

12:13

I knew when I was a

12:14

kid. Yeah. It would start up, Bobby.

12:17

Bobby, Robert, Robert

12:19

get the fuck down here now. Everybody's

12:21

late because of you. You fucking

12:23

asshole. And I would just Yeah.

12:26

And that would come down.

12:27

Right. And then later in life, you'd say, hey,

12:29

come on, we gotta go. We gotta

12:31

go. Dawn, we have Dude, we have to

12:33

fucking

12:33

go. Yeah. You know, it doesn't work. It

12:36

fucking ends everything. No. It just shuts

12:38

everything down. Yeah. And you wanna

12:40

a goal when you're communicating. Right? You wanna

12:42

be communicating for reasons. Sure. So, like, if you

12:44

wanna punish people, you can just make them

12:46

feel shitty. But they're not gonna

12:48

perform better. Now, like, the thing I just did is

12:50

a joke. You can't really do that, but you do

12:52

wanna give that information to them. Oh, wow.

12:54

And and they will feel bad, but

12:56

the team gets better. Because the net what you

12:58

start to tell them because you gotta

13:00

train people, you know. Yeah. You go, I need you

13:02

to actually think ahead. I need you to,

13:04

like, test shit. Yeah. Like, do the

13:06

show right before we do it. Right.

13:08

You gotta Listen to me to see it all work.

13:10

And the next time that you say to them, this

13:12

is important. Yep. Then

13:15

it'll get better. But here's the last unless if you

13:17

do that with them and the next time it doesn't get

13:19

better, that means they just don't give a

13:20

fuck. And then what do I do? Then

13:23

you live with that.

13:23

You live with that. That's okay.

13:25

Okay. It means you're just not. You're just not. You look

13:28

you see Mike Troy Mike Bush? We call him Bush.

13:30

You see his eyes right now? Yeah. They're

13:32

dead.

13:32

Why do

13:33

you call mush? Because

13:35

he's mush. He mushes the shell. It's just

13:37

funny because I grew up in Newton, you know? Yeah.

13:39

And mush was a big word in Newton. Yeah.

13:41

It's what you called each other. Everybody it it

13:43

was dude. That dude

13:45

was mush. Mush. Don't. Mush. What

13:47

the fuck? See, I'm throwing you a

13:49

fuck. As we say to each other, you know.

13:52

I'm from Medford, and we use Dude

13:54

to Dude, and mush is what you did to a girl when

13:56

she wasn't listening. You mush to face

13:58

assets. Shit. Like James Cagnon. Oh,

14:00

dude. They use them grapefruit.

14:02

A hundred percent. All Italian

14:03

guys, they'd mush get out of

14:05

here and they might they wanna hit them. Put it up. No.

14:07

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Nothing. But, you know,

14:09

CAGNY with a grape. Oh, we can pull it up. Oh, it was

14:11

the it was the good old days. Oh.

14:14

And you could yeah. Anyways,

14:16

Yeah. Get out of here. We're targeting

14:18

it. But no.

14:20

We Bush was Newton

14:22

had its own language. So there was,

14:24

like, this with the kids in in a certain

14:27

neighborhood in Newton was called the Nananton

14:29

Lake.

14:29

Right. And it was all Italian and Irish --

14:31

Oh, shit. -- and they all talk

14:34

this way. They still do, I think.

14:36

Wow. But they go mush. And there was

14:38

the words like, you call girls givuls.

14:40

What's a jivuls? Mush that givuls'

14:42

quistra. A what the That

14:44

means, dude, that chick is

14:46

hot. Much that jivel

14:48

is Christian. Question. What is

14:50

Christian? I

14:53

never nobody ever knew and

14:55

you did it. Everybody talk like that. But

14:57

I found out that it's us so yeah. Here he goes,

14:59

Tyria. But it it it's And

15:03

there's words like your

15:04

dick. It's called your collie. What?

15:06

Dude, you know Listen. You

15:08

suck my collie. But heard Tyson

15:11

Fury, the fighter. Yeah. He's he's

15:13

an Irish -- Mhmm. -- gypsy. He's

15:15

a gypsy. And he said, callie,

15:17

about some guy's dick. And I

15:19

realized he these somebody

15:21

said that it's all it's

15:22

gypsies, Irish gypsies, and gypsies,

15:25

carnies, and people that And and and

15:27

Newton, choose. Because I always got a newton.

15:29

When I grew up in Medford, we always thought

15:31

Newton was a bunch of pussies.

15:33

Yeah. Oh,

15:33

yeah. Well, you know Well, we had

15:36

Newton was half half and

15:38

half, half working

15:38

class, half rich.

15:39

Half working class, half rich.

15:40

Right. Because it is there is a lot of

15:42

rich people in New York. Yeah.

15:43

There's a New York -- New York. -- New York. -- New York and Brant the The

15:46

Shasta Hill Mall. Chance that him all was -- Yes. --

15:48

unfucking believable. Yes. Beautiful news.

15:50

Using them. That's the bomb bandana.

15:53

There's a lot of I mean, that's the

15:55

dirtiest thing I've ever mean, tired of

15:56

calm everything goes. It's a lot of calm.

15:59

Yeah. Yeah.

16:01

Newton had Newton Center, which was really rich

16:03

people. Yep. And Newton

16:05

Highlands, and then Newtonville and an

16:07

Anthem was where I live right on the highway. Right on

16:09

the turn the mass turnpike was, like, in my

16:11

backyard. Like, I was one block away. This

16:13

is where where I was in my life

16:15

my whole life. Wow. And I went to Newton North High

16:17

School, which was like half technical high school.

16:20

Right. And then Newton south were rogue

16:22

and went Joe Hogan went there. Was

16:25

richer kids. So public

16:26

school, but

16:26

Well, yeah. A lot a lot of people come from

16:29

Newton. Yeah. A

16:29

lot of comedians. A lot of comedians come.

16:32

You, Rogen. Who's the other one?

16:34

Mucking. I don't know. What the fuck?

16:36

There's there's another one that comes there too.

16:38

Yeah. Yeah.

16:38

A lot of funny people come on a Newton.

16:40

Jibby Jibby or Nick. You didn't

16:42

know Rogen growing up. Did you? No.

16:44

No. But it was He's

16:46

a couple years younger than me. How old

16:48

is you don't know. Maybe they were on the same age. I think you're

16:50

on the same age. He

16:50

we didn't meet till we were doing stand up,

16:53

like, in Boston. And you

16:54

knew him when you started. Were you guys friends

16:57

then? I I started

16:59

if, like, two or three years before

17:01

him. So he were sort of

17:03

two different generations. Like, I started one year,

17:05

then Apollo started the

17:07

year after. And we were friends. And then

17:09

Rogen

17:09

was, like, the next wave of back

17:11

with, like, Fitzsimons.

17:13

Hey, guys,

17:14

like that. But was he

17:17

accepted? Did you guys like him when he came up?

17:19

Yeah. I liked him. He he's a

17:21

likable guy. I mean, he's he was he had

17:23

this wicked energy. This -- Yeah.

17:24

-- wicked.

17:25

And he was just

17:28

fucking waitresses and just getting,

17:30

you know, I don't know. He had grown I don't know anything about his

17:32

personal life. He III

17:35

remember one waitress who I was just

17:37

so into and that was

17:39

his

17:39

girlfriend. So I look at it like he fucked all the

17:42

way. That's how I process that.

17:44

He has he has a

17:46

there's an energy about him when he

17:48

first met him. It's just

17:50

you know, if if if there wasn't we're in no electricity days

17:52

-- Yeah. -- he'd be a king of

17:54

a of a

17:55

of a

17:55

certain Yeah. He could at survive.

17:57

But but I remember I started chatting with him and getting to know him

17:59

and I liked him. Yeah. And he was interesting because he was

18:01

from Newton, and he was at what do you call

18:03

a Taekwondo

18:04

champ? Taekwondo

18:05

just like champion. And so I found that

18:08

interesting. So and and I talked I

18:10

asked him about it, and he was

18:12

engaging talking about it. Like, he

18:14

was generous about talking about it.

18:16

You know? Remember him telling me the biggest

18:18

mistake people make in

18:20

fights is they wait to,

18:22

like, agree when it starts. Yep.

18:24

But you just gotta get started.

18:26

So, like, he told in high school, he was, like, some

18:28

kid came up to him and goes, hey,

18:30

what? And he just immediately punched him

18:32

in the

18:33

chest. Like the guy he can tell the guy

18:35

wants to start a fight. Yeah. But

18:36

he thinks it's gonna be a whole build up. You say

18:38

something myseyism. Hey, you assume kind

18:40

of a book and then he's and

18:43

then he can't breathe and he falls

18:44

down. Yeah. And I remember him telling

18:46

me that, and I like the I like them.

18:49

Finding the thing I I say to people all

18:51

the time, dude, III think that if

18:53

you think we're gonna fight fair, you're

18:55

crazy. Yeah. Like, if you think we're gonna square off

18:57

-- Yeah. -- like, there's a ref I'm

18:59

gonna I'm gonna say, hey, man. I'm sorry. And

19:01

as soon as you turn, I'm gonna hate you with a

19:04

shovel. That's fighting. Yeah. If you if you're

19:06

gonna kill me -- Right. I

19:08

mean, I'm not I'm gonna, you know -- Yeah. -- we're not

19:10

gonna duke it out -- No. -- and and

19:12

wait for you to throw a punch in. I'm gonna go like

19:14

that. Right. Yeah. No. That that's not

19:16

a fight. One of the craziest things I've ever

19:18

seen down here, Saturday night.

19:20

In in while I was down

19:22

here, there's this little Italian kid

19:24

little guy, and he was fucking with everybody. Yeah. And

19:26

then there was his big audience? No.

19:28

Outside. Okay. In the winter. And

19:30

he's fucking with this one kid. Huge

19:33

fucking like Norwegian guy.

19:35

Florida too. Didn't even really speak English that

19:37

well. And the guy's not saying it. This little

19:39

I'll fucking murder you. You fucking and

19:41

his girlfriend, county, come on.

19:44

And then he goes in the car, he grabs a bat.

19:46

Yeah. And he goes out. This guy's facing

19:48

that way, and he goes and he swings

19:51

the bat.

19:51

And the kid had a puffy cup here.

19:54

And it just hits the puffy cup

19:56

here. All the people on the street. And the

19:58

kid slowly turned

19:59

around. He goes, you

20:01

see me with the bat.

20:02

Oh, no. And this kid

20:03

fucking ran back to his boss.

20:05

Sure. You

20:06

heard people just die laughing. Oh, they had

20:08

no effect on this. No. No. No.

20:11

No. I was looking for an apartment once I was

20:13

with Todd Berry and

20:15

one other comic. I forget who the other guy was.

20:17

Might be Chuck's Clark.

20:19

And they came with me. We were all going to lunch, but we went

20:22

I was looking for a place to live. Mhmm. It's about

20:24

way years. I was in my twenties. Right?

20:26

So I was looking for a place like,

20:28

thirteenth Street in Second Avenue. It was,

20:30

like, way east. And back then that was pretty

20:33

gnarly down over there. Yeah. And

20:36

So I'm going. I'm waiting for a realtor to meet me

20:38

in front of a building and a realtor is not

20:40

there and is a community center

20:42

across the street. And

20:44

all these kids just like kinda rough

20:46

seeming kids come out. They they're just being

20:48

it's being let out -- Yeah. -- you know, for

20:52

lunch. And two of them start

20:54

yelling at each other, and one of them

20:56

had a bat. I think

20:58

some of them were going to practice or

21:00

some and he hit this kid in bat meat, like, you know, on

21:02

the arm. Yeah. Then the kid went inside,

21:04

the school that came out

21:06

with a knife, Jesus. And stab

21:09

the kid in the stomach. And you

21:11

saw this. I saw this. So now this

21:13

kid's bleeding, everybody screams

21:15

all kinds of shit. And

21:17

pretty quickly these cops came and

21:19

they break it all up, they take the

21:21

kid who got stabbed and they just

21:23

take them and put them in He's sitting

21:25

in a cop car. He's laying he's

21:28

got his feet on the street, and he's laying in his

21:30

cop car. And there's just blood. He's wearing a white

21:32

shirt. He's dying. Just red

21:34

shirt. the cops are standing and, like,

21:36

leaning against the car just talking. Uh-huh.

21:39

And somebody came over and

21:41

said some, like, kinda white nervous

21:43

guy said, shouldn't you get him to a hospital?

21:45

And the cop goes, get the fuck

21:47

away from me. Get the fuck away

21:49

to start screaming at this guy. Get

21:51

the fuck away from me. Ain't none of your

21:53

fucking

21:53

business, and then they went back to chatting. And

21:56

Todd turned to me and said, I don't think you wanna

21:58

live in this neighborhood.

21:58

Yeah. This is funny. It's like I don't think we need

22:01

to see the apartment. Yeah. Out.

22:03

So Yeah. It used to be more violent

22:05

here. He's

22:05

a little bit. Yeah. New York used to be I mean,

22:08

that's it's violent now,

22:10

but it's not as bad as if It's homeless

22:11

guys swinging a thing at

22:13

you violent. You just step around

22:16

them. Yeah. It's crazy

22:18

people violent. Yeah. Which if you are

22:20

a little crazy too, which I

22:22

am, you can look them in the eyes and it's like

22:24

two dogs. That's right. And

22:26

it's like and they they go, I got you.

22:28

You know what I mean? Yeah. I've had homeless

22:30

people look me in the eye and

22:30

go. Mhmm. Alright. I'll let you go. You're crazy

22:33

too. You'll fuck it. Mhmm. You'll do

22:35

something too. I saw homeless guy walking

22:37

in in Stumps once

22:39

and just and

22:42

just spit coming out. I was just nought after a bad set.

22:44

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just

22:46

screaming. And I was with a friend of

22:48

mine. She had a little dog and she

22:50

was inside. So her

22:52

dog I was holding her dog, and her dog was

22:54

just on the sidewalk, and

22:56

he he was mental and

22:58

angry and violent. But he was and

23:00

I realized he's about to step on the dog,

23:03

and I saw him go, oh, and he stuck he

23:05

stepped around the dog. He caught a

23:07

moment of sanity.

23:07

Yeah. He was like, I don't wanna mush a dog.

23:09

Yeah. Nobody wants a mushy. Nobody's like crazy.

23:12

Yeah. I had a homeless guy. That's why I

23:14

moved out of the city. Homeless guy kicked

23:16

my dog. Really? The

23:18

night I brought Max home from the

23:20

hospital, and it fucked me

23:22

up because I thought for some

23:23

reason, you

23:26

know, they just go here.

23:28

They give you the baby and then

23:30

it's They give you the baby and they say goodbye.

23:33

Mhmm. And then in New York, you don't get in your

23:34

car, you have to hail a cab. Yeah. With a

23:36

baby again. This is before Uber. This

23:39

is like you had to you had to stand out in

23:41

the street and up. You get lucky. you

23:43

get

23:43

lucky. Hope it's not raining. Yeah. Hope

23:45

it's there's not a Knicks game. Crazy.

23:47

And you you

23:48

go outside and you hail a cap, then you

23:51

sketch into the backseat of this cab. I have a

23:53

brand new person. With this yeah. A brand new

23:55

person. And then you go down the

23:57

street, and I and then I did I could get

23:59

the baby and I got done in. And I

24:01

go walk these fucking two dogs,

24:03

Kelvin and Diva. Mhmm. And my mother's

24:05

couch too in the morning, and

24:07

then I'll I'm with the dogs, and and I make

24:09

sure I'm a good dog person. Ith,

24:11

New York City has a lot of shit dog

24:13

peeing -- Yeah. Sure. -- where they don't, they just

24:16

let they'd let it go. Yeah. And you

24:18

and the thing and they'll trip you and

24:20

they and they say sorry

24:22

after the fact -- Right. -- which I

24:24

fucking hate. I hate those. I had one guy

24:26

walk up and his dog pissed on my leg. Wow.

24:28

And he was on his phone. Mhmm. And he

24:30

turned and he went, sorry, and he

24:32

kept walking. Dude, literally, just

24:34

like

24:34

this. He was talking yesterday. And

24:36

they looked over and he went so funny. Our generation of

24:39

comics is funny because we we

24:41

talked on this phone. We used to talk on a

24:43

phone that went

24:43

Oh, with a little thing. Yes. Yes.

24:46

And we still do this for we don't go like this when we mine. We

24:48

don't do it. We should do that. Right? Yeah. Well, we don't have

24:50

to

24:50

do that because most people

24:50

had everybody's receiver. I think he had a big

24:53

old. Yeah.

24:53

We had the thing with the little thing. Right? Yeah.

24:55

Definitely. We should

24:56

be just doing like this because most people have

24:59

earbuds. Just be like, sorry.

25:00

Yeah. Sorry. Just this ready. Yeah. You choose it.

25:03

Alright. I have it. Sorry. So you know

25:05

I have it. So this guy, I'm sitting there with my

25:07

dog, and all of a sudden I hear,

25:09

this homeless guy, no shirt, shredded

25:11

black guy. Kicked Kelby.

25:13

And I lost it.

25:15

I just lost it. And I got right in

25:17

his nose. And I was like, you keep my fucking

25:20

dog? It was yat right back at me. Yeah. I kicked your

25:22

fucking dog. Watch your fucking dogs. And

25:24

I was like, I was watching my

25:27

dogs. That was screaming. And

25:29

I go high and he went higher.

25:31

Yeah. So

25:31

I go high. Oasis kinda Anger

25:33

and dog. Yeah. It was gonna yeah.

25:37

That's

25:37

it. By the end, we were just like, fucking

25:38

you stand me. Right around you.

25:40

Yeah. Fuck. We just suck each other off. Sure. At

25:42

the end, and I lived with him for three

25:45

months. Nice. Him the dogs.

25:47

Yeah. And no.

25:49

So III remember he we kept

25:51

getting angry and angrier. Because that's what you do

25:53

when you really don't wanna fight. You just keep

25:55

You get angrier and angry and see, it's

25:57

the market. Where? Yeah.

26:01

And I said, I bet, I'll fucking I

26:04

went to the point. I'll fucking murder

26:06

you. Wow. And he

26:08

went,

26:08

you don't like black

26:10

people. And that I just felt I I

26:13

was like, I like black people. Well, then you

26:15

went down. I was like, I set a name in my

26:17

black

26:17

friend. Black people. Oh, you

26:17

do? I go I was yeah.

26:20

Yeah. That's nice.

26:23

And we're friends. And that was Keith Robinson.

26:26

Yeah. Now we're good friends. Yeah. But

26:28

I did. He said that, and I panicked. And I

26:30

was like, I know Kevin Hart.

26:32

I know Patrice O'Neil. He's

26:34

dead now, but I know I was like, I

26:36

know Keith Robbins said I started naming on

26:38

my comment. Great. Some lady yellow at

26:40

the window. Shut

26:41

the fuck up. There you go. So

26:43

and and then I felt a

26:45

pinch on my shoulder. And

26:48

it was my female Russian

26:51

super -- Mhmm. -- you know, you just have

26:53

Polish or Russian or

26:55

Spanish superintendents. And she grabbed my shoulder

26:57

and pinched it, and she was

26:59

bubbly. You have baby. You don't do

27:01

this. Yeah. You don't do that no more. And she

27:03

walks me back to my house. That's right. And

27:05

I said I just put my house on the market that

27:06

week. Yeah. Oh, Mike, I'm the fuck

27:09

out of here. Yeah. You

27:09

can't be in those those

27:12

situations. If you're a dad, you can't do

27:14

that anymore. And if you have I was I am

27:16

crazy too. I can't.

27:18

No. No. Like, you have to be able to

27:19

like, if they can't We're in detail on that

27:22

story, though. What's the detail? Like, if I was

27:24

a if I had you on a witness stand.

27:26

Okay. But let's do it. I'd shred that story. Go

27:28

ahead. Do it. Because you

27:30

started by saying -- Yes. -- and we could play

27:32

it back. We just started by saying --

27:34

Yep. -- that, yeah, the dog and you

27:36

said, I I heard this sound.

27:38

Yelp. I turned around in this guy, my

27:40

dog. Yeah. And then the guy said watch your

27:42

dogs. He said, I I was watching my

27:44

dogs. Then why did why was it the

27:46

sound of the Yelp that you didn't

27:48

see that You Why are you doing? was. I'll tell you why.

27:50

Mhmm. Can I can I go down? Yeah. Your

27:52

honor? Okay. No. I'm just not

27:53

thinking. I would have. Judge doesn't ask

27:56

questions. Okay.

27:56

You're right. Judge

27:59

Mago? We

28:00

we also wouldn't the lawyer wouldn't let you. You

28:02

get yes or no questions, you know. Okay.

28:03

Well, can I That is true. So then

28:06

your lawyer would come up Okay. So be my

28:08

lawyer. Okay. You

28:10

got anything to add to

28:11

this? I

28:12

do have something to add.

28:13

Yeah. First of all, I was watching my dogs --

28:16

Yeah. -- because I made sure that there was enough

28:18

room for people to walk. I

28:20

pulled my dogs over to the left

28:22

side of the walkway. And they got kicked out

28:24

of the walkway, so people would have

28:26

room to walk. Yeah. There was

28:28

a release three to four feet of space,

28:30

and I was off into the street --

28:32

Yeah. -- in the like, almost a

28:34

driveway for people to walk. So he had

28:36

to step into my dog's

28:38

area to kick

28:38

them, to hurt them. Mhmm. That

28:41

so, yes, I was It

28:41

was an

28:42

unfortunate moment. It was an unfortunate

28:45

moment. That's right. That

28:47

escalated. Sometimes when people walk

28:49

towards me with their head down into their

28:51

phone, you bump into them? Well, no,

28:53

I I I mean, it's

28:55

a weird ethical problem.

28:57

Sure. Because it's like, I

28:59

got my head up. So

29:01

I see you coming -- Yeah. -- and you want me to

29:03

step around. You want the world apart like the

29:05

red sea. Hundred percent while you watch your

29:08

fucking video. Right. But

29:11

the only way for me

29:13

to, like, enforce that,

29:16

like, unfairness is to

29:18

deliberately smash into

29:20

you. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. But I I

29:22

in other words, I have to walk around you because you're

29:24

you're putting more civil responsibility

29:26

on me by keeping your fucking head

29:28

down. And it's really arrogant. But when

29:30

I'm with my dog, I don't move for them

29:32

because I have a dog in toe and also I

29:34

I could close line them. Right.

29:37

So, you know, or at least they're at the

29:39

knees. Right. If there's because I'm

29:41

not gonna if they if that's their then

29:43

I'm like, this is your problem.

29:45

And then I do a little bit of chicken with them.

29:47

I keep I keep walking until

29:50

they see my feet and then they look up,

29:52

oh, right. And I'm like, I have a

29:54

few times when somebody's got their

29:56

head down and I'm I got the dog and I it's not

29:58

easy for me to

29:58

move. I've done this. Yeah. I'll get my

30:01

can in there or I go, Like,

30:03

lift them up. Lift them

30:04

up. Yeah. I actually go, hey. Hey.

30:06

Hey.

30:06

Yeah. I do that. That little whistle.

30:08

Hey. Hey. I go, hey. I do the same thing

30:11

every time. Hey. Hey. Hey. It's fat,

30:13

Albert. It's We're gonna

30:15

sing a song to you. And

30:17

you might learn a

30:18

thing. Go to We'll

30:21

get together -- Great songs. -- and all his

30:23

pal. Dude, you don't fucking great

30:25

songs. Yeah. Just cartoons used to

30:27

have. Oh,

30:28

That was my favorite You hear the Jeffesons? Oh,

30:30

yeah. Of

30:30

course. I mean, I

30:31

know the Jeffesons. The Jeffesons. Yeah.

30:33

But the song. Yeah. The

30:35

shit. Bana. It was like a good guess. That's

30:38

great.

30:38

I do that. I go like this, hey. Hey. Hey. I

30:40

like to help. They

30:41

get scared. I love

30:41

scaring people on the street who do that shit. I

30:44

liked in good times. At the

30:46

end of the song. Yeah. It ends with everybody

30:48

going. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

30:54

I Yeah. I I couldn't

30:56

I couldn't do New

30:58

York anymore. When I had the kid, I

31:00

just it broke me. Because I became

31:02

so protective -- Mhmm. -- of

31:04

my family, I became

31:07

savage. Because I'd walk

31:09

with the baby carriage and people

31:11

don't care that you have a baby

31:13

carriage --

31:13

Right. -- in Times Square? No. They don't

31:14

give a shit. Well, they How are you doing in Times Square with the

31:17

baby carriage? Because that's

31:17

my baby Zara's was right there. I

31:20

lived at forty seven That's

31:21

what you lived in the neighborhood. I lived. That was my

31:23

neighborhood. Hell's kitchen was my neighborhood. Yeah. I wanna So

31:25

we had to go to BabiesRUs. We had to

31:27

go to Times Square -- Mhmm. -- go up in that fucking elevator -- Mhmm. --

31:30

walk around and he had he

31:32

needed aluminium formula. We

31:34

had to

31:34

get, like, the most expensive

31:36

hard to find

31:37

-- Yeah. -- formula because my wife's tits

31:39

didn't work. Mhmm. That was a

31:41

fucking nightmare. Mhmm. The the first week when

31:43

she was supposed to get out the you

31:44

know, she put the things on her tits. Mhmm.

31:47

And it wasn't getting enough, and she's

31:50

just crying

31:51

Yeah. In the kitchen --

31:51

But -- whether it tits out with these things --

31:54

Hard with

31:54

such hard time. -- and I would and nobody to

31:57

call. It's like three in the morning -- Mhmm. --

31:59

and I'm I'm trying to I'm I'm

32:01

trying to squeeze her

32:01

tip, and she's slapping, but

32:04

it's not how it works. And I'm like,

32:06

you don't know. I remember

32:08

it was time especially with the first kid with my

32:10

wife and all of a sudden you have so

32:12

much to people that you have two to

32:14

take care of. Yeah. Like life kinda

32:16

gets you there gradually because

32:18

first you're a couple. You're

32:20

two equal adults. Yep. Both

32:23

capable. Yeah. And then she

32:25

gets pregnant. She starts becoming

32:27

needy and invalid. And she starts slowing you

32:29

down. She starts slowing down that explosive

32:31

young energy. Yeah. You get out

32:33

of a cab, you can't just get out -- Yeah. -- you gotta help her

32:36

help her out. Yep. This is getting you ready

32:38

for the kid like she gets

32:40

you ready. This thing of, like, we gotta

32:42

slow down. Yeah. We don't sleep like we used

32:44

to. Nope. There's a new

32:46

equipment around, not there's no nothing

32:48

sexy anymore Nothing. No clothes look

32:50

good anymore. Yep. And everything's a

32:52

little and I'm

32:53

tired. This is getting you ready for the

32:55

kid. Well, that's what they they should tell you.

32:57

They say, dude, get your sleep. Get your sleepy.

32:59

I'm in a baby. It's zippy the other way. It's

33:01

like, dude. Yeah. Learn how not to sleep. Yeah.

33:03

Train

33:03

yourself not to sleep. Yeah. Like a navy

33:05

seal. Yes. And if you don't I if have a job

33:08

that's nine to five, that's a whole

33:10

other thing. But if you don't have a nine to five

33:12

job, you should just give up on

33:14

you sleep when you sleep, which is a

33:17

hard five day and night with a new

33:19

baby --

33:19

Yep. -- day and night. But I remember having,

33:21

like, you know, the

33:24

baby and the mom with tender

33:26

body and

33:27

-- Yeah. -- bad back and all kinds

33:30

of And having this tend that tender

33:32

feeling. Mhmm. There's a lot of pain in

33:34

the room. There's a lot of lot

33:36

of vulnerability and stuff. I

33:39

liked it a

33:39

lot. What? Yeah. I loved it. Why?

33:42

Because I know you've noticed

33:44

somebody's hurting. Why?

33:46

I just think it's so great. Why?

33:50

Because I don't

33:52

know. It just funny and it reminds me

33:54

that I'm not. Yeah.

33:57

Is it

33:57

weird to keep on doing a mountain time's

34:00

day? Absolutely not.

34:02

It's weird to give bad underwear on

34:05

Valentine's. That's a bummer. Nobody wants

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I just like being I like being

38:49

needed that way. There's a nice there's a

38:51

tenders of a tender feeling in a house where

38:54

there's like a a

38:56

baby and and

38:57

the mom with it my my my wife had it c section, so

38:59

she's post op. Ugh. You

39:01

know? And Don shot it right

39:03

out of her toilet, and

39:05

I'll never forget it because he would

39:07

had hair. Right.

39:08

So it's, like, scraping her and

39:11

sides of her pussy. Well, when

39:13

he was coming out,

39:16

measuring the hair, innermosty,

39:18

that's not her hair. Through your

39:20

hair. Inside? Yeah. Just leaving their heads. Yeah. Or, like, cone

39:22

shaped when they come out. Yeah. And

39:24

it's like this. And she's

39:26

Imagine. I remember her hair.

39:30

Out. Her pubes

39:31

and his hair -- Right. -- one at one point in the middle.

39:32

So so it's like just this hairy

39:35

ball -- No. --

39:38

vagina. Coming out and

39:40

I fucking I I almost screamed.

39:42

I looked away. I didn't understand that.

39:44

And then the head came out and I saw his little

39:46

forehead, his little wrinkly pale forehead. Yeah.

39:49

And I didn't people look, I was

39:51

lying. When the baby came out, I

39:53

was

39:53

like, oh my god. Oh

39:56

my god. Oh my god. Like, I was faking

39:58

emotion because

39:58

I was so numb and not

40:01

feeling anything. Well, yeah, she was crying and,

40:03

like, oh, and it really I

40:05

was it's our baby. I was saying

40:08

shit I heard in movies

40:10

and TV shows because

40:12

I I was I didn't

40:14

I was I was in such shock of what

40:16

just happened that I didn't know what the fuck

40:18

was going on. I remember I had

40:22

Well, the two were different because the second

40:24

one I had a camera, she let me bring a camera.

40:26

I had a film camera. So I was

40:28

into the pictures I was thinking, like,

40:32

mean I I had some great pictures. But anyway,

40:34

but the first time I remember

40:36

they had to give her she

40:38

was in labor for, like, twenty four hours something.

40:41

She really wanted to give natural birth, and I I really wanted

40:43

to ask for her. And she tried and

40:46

tried and it was really hard. And

40:48

then the doctors starts they start

40:50

getting shitty. They go, this kid's gotta come out. Yep. They do. We're done with

40:52

this. Right. So she

40:54

had a c section and she they had her she was, like,

40:57

sort of, like, almost like strap down like Jesus on his table

40:59

and they had a a sheet

41:02

up like this -- Yeah. -- so that she can't see

41:04

-- Yeah. -- but she's awake. They just

41:06

did a spinal

41:08

tap. And she's just laying there. Yeah.

41:10

And and on the other side, they've

41:12

opened up her whole

41:14

abdomen. Yeah.

41:16

And it's open,

41:18

and she goes, what's going on? And

41:20

I go, just poke her face. I go, nothing.

41:22

They're just cleaning you up. I

41:24

would be able to do that. And

41:27

then the doctor

41:30

starts fishing around. I I used to do a

41:32

bit about this. Think. I don't remember, but

41:34

it was like she was trying to find socks in her

41:36

luggage, you know, without without a

41:38

pack. She's just shoving shit around.

41:40

Right. And just fucking this

41:42

baby out. Who looks like? What

41:44

the fuck? Like, she starts and she's

41:46

purple face and she's like, so

41:50

mad. It was just so sudden I couldn't fucking believe

41:52

it. Yeah. And then they cut

41:54

the cord and they wrap her

41:56

up. And they show her to the

41:58

mom like this for like a second, and

42:00

the mom gets to look at her

42:03

like this. And

42:07

she said her

42:10

name to we decided we weren't gonna decide

42:12

till that

42:14

moment. And her mom said, don't you think this should be her name? And I said, yeah.

42:16

What are you gonna

42:17

say? No. What

42:18

if you were like? Well, I

42:19

No. I was sick in Sasha. Yeah.

42:22

Like Sasha.

42:23

But then they took the baby over

42:26

to this little scale. Like,

42:28

right away, they gotta know how what she weighs. It's

42:30

fucking psychotic. Like, weigh the

42:32

baby. Right. And the

42:34

mom is post op. Also,

42:36

I watched them I watched her take

42:38

some of her organs out of this and

42:40

then take a thing like what you do

42:43

the dishes with, a little spray nozzle -- Yeah. -- and just spray them. Are

42:45

the doctors just spraying down parts? It but

42:47

still connected. Shub yes. And then shoving

42:49

them back in.

42:52

How do you eat it?

42:53

On the scale

42:54

being, like, aspirated, they take

42:56

the the the squeezey bottle. Yeah.

42:58

The turkey basters -- Yeah. -- sticking up

43:01

her nose and about what she's been, like, living on all

43:03

this then and, like, clearing her airways. Yeah.

43:06

And she's just,

43:08

like, screaming. And I

43:10

got this. This was like the size of her head. I got

43:12

this close to her head. And I said, it's

43:14

okay. It's okay. And

43:16

she looked

43:18

at me. For a few seconds, she stopped crying. She just looked right at me and was

43:21

like, whoa. Holy

43:24

shit. And

43:26

the fact that we had a relationship is I have some -- Yeah. -- the kids

43:29

I'm useful to this kid. Yeah. That was

43:31

it. It's been my whole life.

43:33

It's been a long. Thing

43:35

that none of that happened

43:37

to me. She

43:38

it it shot at her vag, and they handed that baby

43:40

right to Don, and I didn't touch

43:42

it. Until far Yeah. No. That's the

43:45

thing with c section. I got to I got to hold the

43:47

kid for you. I got time before her mother could her

43:49

she got her

43:50

second. I had her for a couple of hours --

43:52

Yeah. -- her

43:52

mother. I think Tom Tom papa held Max before me. I

43:55

I'm pretty sure. He he

43:57

came in, like, seconds to high. I didn't know with his

43:59

two

43:59

daughters. But it was the

44:02

the second I connect you with my kid --

44:04

Yeah.

44:04

-- is I looked out at him and

44:06

he went And he smiled

44:09

and I was like,

44:10

fuck. That's the first

44:13

time where I really

44:16

felt this

44:17

is this is a real thing. Yeah. Up until then, it's, you know

44:19

It's abstract. Apparently, about the

44:22

mom first.

44:24

Yeah. And it's about getting her through the pregnancy.

44:26

And she's got all these notions of

44:28

how she wants to have this baby and stuff.

44:31

But you kinda party, it feels like you're gonna go

44:33

to the hospital, get the baby out and just go

44:35

home with two of you. Yeah. It's this party

44:38

that it's not like the part

44:40

that doesn't compute till it happens

44:41

is, oh, now we have this fucking

44:44

Well, it failed to rest of

44:46

their life. That never hit me because it would hit me. I I

44:48

couldn't stay in the hospital which bothered me

44:50

because in New York, Up at Hell's Kitchen, whatever, I

44:52

forget the name of

44:54

the hospital. They they used to let you stay. As a husband,

44:56

you could stay in the room with her all night. And they

44:58

were like, you have to leave at a certain time. And I

45:00

was like,

45:02

why? Apparently, there was a guy. Was that one

45:04

guy to work? Going around finger fucking

45:06

women in their sleep.

45:08

I swear to god. Stop.

45:12

Yep. He ruined it for everybody.

45:14

A dad? No. It was a

45:16

guy. Like a guy would come

45:18

up to the floor and he was

45:20

sexually assaulting women's, when he

45:22

ruined that for every man, that every --

45:24

Every hospital? Yes. Well, that

45:26

hospital. You couldn't stay up to

45:28

eight o'clock. Because they didn't have enough staff to keep going in and

45:30

checking that no one's getting Yeah. They don't or

45:32

you paid a or you paid a thousand dollars for

45:34

your wife not to give Fingerblasted. Yeah. You look at

45:36

you

45:37

look at a ad in the paper that says

45:40

wanted, you know, whatever, some you

45:42

know, help wanted a

45:46

Presbyterian hospital. Yeah. And you show up and you go, well, you know, I'm not a

45:48

nurse that you don't have to be. Sorry.

45:50

And they say they ask you references.

45:52

What is

45:54

this job? We need you to make sure

45:56

that nobody's finger firing around you. Yeah. That's it. You have a go

45:58

in -- Yeah. -- and look in their vaginas,

46:00

make sure there's no fingers in

46:03

Okay. But what if I see if you don't if you can't

46:05

also, you need to get in there, feel in there with

46:07

your finger. To make sure there's no

46:09

fingers. Yeah. Okay. But what if it's the husband,

46:11

finger fuck, and the wife?

46:12

You need

46:12

to tell let let me know. Yeah. Let me know. Yeah. If

46:15

you're gonna do it. Okay. Yeah. It

46:17

was it was nuts. Yeah.

46:19

And then I left and my wife had a panic attack

46:21

the first night. Dawn, who's one

46:24

of the strongest human beings, and

46:26

you know, who never panicked. She just bottles it up like

46:28

a good old Boston chick

46:30

and burries it. After

46:32

the baby was born, I had to leave that night and

46:35

I go to call from the nurses

46:38

that she fucking lost her

46:40

mind in the middle of the night. It all

46:42

hit her. And they

46:44

all I I all these nurses

46:46

I love nurses. They all gathered around

46:48

her. Yeah. And they're fucking And

46:51

they they they slapped her fuck up.

46:53

Yeah. They just they shouldn't fuck with it. Yeah. And then they started fangue a fuck on her. And she was

46:55

like, oh, and then she changed.

46:58

Okay.

46:59

Alright. You're

47:01

okay. And she was like, that's good. Yeah.

47:04

That's what I have to do to her now when she has

47:06

panic attacks. I have to force finger

47:08

I have a bunch of nurses that I have that are on

47:10

call that come over and we force

47:12

What's going on? Yeah. Good. No.

47:14

But they they helped her through it,

47:17

which I was bummed because I was, like,

47:19

trying to be there. Yeah. That's my thing. That's I was

47:21

I was supposed to be there and I had some, you

47:23

know, three fat middle aged nurses --

47:25

Yeah. -- commoner down

47:28

and She was asking for me -- Yeah. -- and I was home

47:30

sleeping, having pizza, Doritos,

47:33

fucking played Xbox for

47:35

the last time. And and and and, you

47:37

know, she I couldn't go. I couldn't

47:40

go with sucked because that finger

47:42

fucking

47:43

loser. Welcome to that sweet spot on the Internet where men can just be That's

47:46

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47:48

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to podcasts.

49:00

Yeah. What are you gonna

49:02

do

49:02

though? What are you gonna do? Yeah. And

49:05

now, I mean,

49:08

I love I I don't think for me.

49:10

And I've said this to you before, I

49:12

had a son because of you.

49:16

Because I remember going to your house and I you know, I'm

49:18

like, if this I literally said this, I go if

49:20

this fucking piece of

49:22

shit

49:23

can do this. Yeah. I

49:23

was already. I was divorced, but I had my

49:26

kids custody, like, half

49:28

the week. Well, that fucked me up when you got divorced

49:30

because your your marriage, your

49:32

whole life. Led

49:34

me to believe that

49:36

I could do this. I could get

49:38

married. I could have a kid. Yeah.

49:40

Like, because, you know, You see a guy

49:42

like you, the similarities. We both do comedy. We're both fucking

49:45

crazy. We I remember you came to my we

49:47

were I was living on Green Street then. Yeah.

49:49

And you came to my apartment

49:51

and and the walls were covered with art the kids. Oh,

49:53

yeah. And you looked at

49:55

all of that and you're like,

49:57

this looks like This

49:59

looks great. Yeah. It's fun. Like, I remember

50:02

watching you appreciate You made

50:04

pancakes. Yeah. Yeah. You made pancakes.

50:05

Like, I did I it was

50:07

wild to me. That you took the

50:09

thing and you made pancakes for your

50:11

kids. Yeah. Every this is what

50:13

my life was like then. I

50:16

miss so much now, but it was

50:18

the hardest time in my life. And I miss

50:20

it, like, crazy. But back when I used to like,

50:23

I had I had my kids, like, about

50:25

two and a half, three days a week, some some

50:27

weeks longer, some weeks shorter, you know, about

50:30

about forty percent of the time I had my kids.

50:32

And and so when they were

50:34

with me, you the

50:36

days were just so full. You wake

50:38

up early in the

50:40

morning, go in their room and wake them

50:42

up. There's stone asleep, wake them up late, later on in life, you'd come in

50:44

there already starting to get dressed. Right. The

50:46

older one dresses yourself, the little one

50:48

you gotta get her

50:50

dressed. Yep. Sometimes they wanna take a bath in the morning and you

50:52

do that, but usually not. But

50:54

get her in her clothes, snap

50:56

her up, you

50:58

know. And making

51:00

breakfast. Make a full breakfast. I used

51:02

to make eggs and bacon. I used to make waffles

51:05

sometimes, pancakes from

51:07

a mix, and and feed them breakfast, sit them down

51:09

for breakfast, which is just, you know, also,

51:12

it was great. You're talking

51:14

you're talking The best. Making

51:16

breakfast and they're coming in and chatting with you

51:18

and you're discussing

51:20

things about life. Yep. Feed them.

51:23

And make sure if there's any homework to

51:25

be done to fin it finish it up. Yep.

51:27

And then you're making their lunch. Yep. You're gonna make a

51:29

lot a lunch carrot sticks

51:31

and sandwiches, whatever. Pack their lunch, get their lunch

51:33

in their backpacks, make sure they have everything. If it's

51:36

winter, fucking bundle them up -- Mhmm. --

51:38

get out the door, get the

51:40

first one

51:42

to school and then the next one to

51:44

preschool, which is a longer walk -- Yep. -- get back and

51:46

you maybe get to nap for

51:50

like thirty minutes. Get laundry

51:52

started. The house is a fucking wreck

51:54

from the morning. Yeah. Clean up the house.

51:58

Through the laundry. No. And then it's time to

52:00

go get the little one. Pre school was only till,

52:02

like, noon or twelve thirty, get her, take

52:04

her somewhere for a snack,

52:07

then get the other one, bring them

52:09

home, get them started on their homework

52:11

-- Yeah. -- and get dinner

52:14

started, and do some

52:16

go out do something fun or bring home some of their friends

52:18

and have a play date and

52:20

fucking in the dinner that night and then

52:22

bedtime -- Yeah. -- get them

52:24

in bath pajamas,

52:26

get them to go to sleep. Yep. And then

52:28

you have then it's like, I just wanna fucking

52:30

go to sleep now, but I have no so I

52:32

wanna stay awake and

52:33

Yeah. I

52:33

don't I don't do any of that girl stuff because I'm

52:35

a man. My wife does all that shit,

52:38

but, yeah,

52:38

it's hard.

52:38

I see I feel you know, I see

52:41

her. She's always mean, that's a

52:43

that's a I miss I miss all. No, dude.

52:45

It is. It's it's it's

52:49

the gray wake up every morning with max. I mean,

52:51

Don wakes up, but I wake up too. I

52:53

wake up every morning and we

52:55

have breakfast together. And

52:57

we have dinner together too. Like, at five

53:00

thirty when I'm home, we hit we sit

53:02

down at the table. No TV, no one we can

53:04

play albums.

53:06

Certain things that I love -- Mhmm. -- about being a

53:08

dad. But I I became

53:10

I really became a man

53:12

when I had a kid.

53:15

Yeah.

53:15

This is what does it. You know? I mean,

53:17

this I I just really believe

53:19

that. Yeah. I thought I was a man. I thought

53:21

I was an until I

53:23

had a son and all of a sudden it just

53:26

happened. I knew how to do shit. III

53:28

we needed a fence in the backyard for

53:30

the

53:30

dog. I just built a fence. You

53:33

have to start becoming well, guys think they

53:35

have all these great skills, you know. Yeah.

53:38

We're we're organized. We we

53:40

we can we're patient. We can plan. We're, like, you

53:42

know, you can apply all that to being a

53:44

father. Right. You

53:46

know? Yeah. Being smart, being

53:48

able to think ahead, you know, I'm not saying women don't

53:50

have the the same the the stuff we pride

53:52

ourselves on. Yep.

53:54

You know, all of it can be applied

53:56

to managing

53:58

schedule with kids and and

54:00

getting them through hard shit.

54:02

Well, one of the things of like, Louis,

54:04

right, it's it's, to me, update with all in the family.

54:06

The show Louie that you created five episodes,

54:08

it's on your website right now, luis ck

54:12

dot com, you can go own

54:13

it, which is not. So you can have it for a few years. You can only But you

54:15

can

54:15

stream it for five years. Stream it five years. Yeah. Download it.

54:17

It's like You

54:20

can stream it for five years,

54:22

but you can have it. Yeah. If you know how

54:24

to do

54:24

it. Yeah.

54:25

And of course, you can download it. Yeah.

54:27

It's

54:27

not that

54:28

hard. Yeah. We just don't allow it. Does he right. Click the link in

54:30

the on how to have it. Yeah.

54:32

No. Did you find it? Please

54:34

put a link up how to -- Yeah.

54:37

How to fucking steal it nonintegrated. No. But you have to

54:39

buy it. It's the reason why

54:42

it's one of the best shows ever --

54:44

Yeah. -- is because it it really

54:46

is, man. I It's it's

54:48

hilarious. It's it's

54:50

crazy. It didn't make sense,

54:52

but it it had those moments.

54:55

Mhmm. You gave it moments,

54:57

which these these some of these

54:59

comedies, a lot of them don't have moments. They're

55:01

always going for these these laughs or whatever. And or

55:03

the moments they do have weren't real. And one of the

55:06

biggest things that made

55:08

you everything okay

55:10

about you is your two

55:12

kids in that show, which

55:14

knowing you and life,

55:16

that stuff came from that. You just making

55:18

breakfast with them, a walking,

55:20

taking a train, and with the and

55:22

you're just

55:22

managing, you're pushing this bulb off the

55:24

hill. What I like showing was that there's

55:27

all kinds of dads, you know. Right.

55:29

There's not just like TV tends to say, okay, if

55:31

he's a dad, he has to be responsible, he has to

55:33

live in a suburban house, he has

55:35

to, you know oh, there's all

55:37

kind of trappings to be

55:40

a dad. But in New York, there's all kinds of dad in every city. There's all

55:42

kinds of fathers who are also

55:44

living weird lives and trying to

55:46

get laid. Being a divorced dad is like

55:48

a weird hybrid

55:50

life. Yeah. But you still you kinda you

55:53

when you go home, you switch it all off,

55:55

you just become dad. Dad. And

55:57

I'm I'm a flawed guy.

56:00

I've got all kinds of, you know, fucked

56:02

up problems and and make

56:04

mistakes, but I'm still a dad. And I make

56:06

mistakes

56:07

there too. And not Nobody gets But

56:09

if exactly. It's like you have Yeah. As

56:11

we grew up watching were fake. Fake. Yeah.

56:13

Yeah. Mister Brady was

56:15

fucking a dude. You know. Greg was

56:17

fucking the mom, and none of it was real. Yeah. And then when you finally look at

56:20

you, it's like it's it's like I

56:22

can do

56:24

this. I got

56:25

this. You know what I mean? I got it. That's the greatest part about oh,

56:27

dude, you don't have to be this fucking asshole.

56:29

You don't have to turn into

56:31

this all of person. No. You don't have

56:33

to turn into another fucking person.

56:36

No. You don't have to turn into that was

56:38

my biggest fear of being a

56:40

husband or a dad. That I had

56:42

to become something else. The other thing is

56:44

if your kid grows up with a perfect

56:46

parents --

56:46

Yeah. -- is it'll destroy them. Yeah.

56:48

They'll be they'll be rapists. Yeah. Because I don't know why they have to rape

56:51

anybody. But I'm not even they're just

56:53

not gonna be able to measure up to it, and

56:55

then they're not gonna have you

56:58

need a role model for how to be a weak,

57:00

confused person. Every person

57:02

is confused and weak, every human being no

57:04

matter how hard they try -- Right. --

57:07

is used weak. So if your

57:10

parent is a

57:12

strong solid

57:15

confident person with no flaws. Mhmm. You

57:18

you go like, well, how's that example to me?

57:20

Because I can't be that.

57:22

But if your

57:24

parents is like, here's what it's like to be a weak, confused

57:26

person. Yeah. Still do okay. And

57:28

still be able to get through life, get the

57:30

most you can

57:30

at. I'm a great

57:31

parent trying to

57:33

of people. Yeah. That's actually gonna do best

57:34

parent ever. You just go, my my

57:37

my mom was tired. My

57:40

mom was confused

57:42

and just But boy did she give it a shot? Yeah. And she

57:44

forgave herself when she couldn't. She forgave me

57:46

when I couldn't measure up when I did

57:48

my best. You know, you just do

57:50

your best. Yeah. Try doing your best is is the only

57:52

thing you can do. So if a if a parent

57:54

puts puts the goalpost past that -- Yeah. -- as

57:56

well, no. It's not

57:58

good enough. What

58:00

the fuck are you supposed to do with that even though with what they tell you to do, but

58:02

with the way they seem that anyway,

58:04

or they pretend to be

58:07

And then later you find out your parent is weak

58:09

and confused. Yeah. Because it doesn't exist the

58:11

person who isn't. So if they performed and

58:13

then you find out, oh, no. They're just,

58:15

like, Everybody else. Yeah. It's a weird dad's

58:17

probably good. I mean, it took me until

58:19

I was in my fifties to realize that

58:21

about my dad. And your

58:23

dad is Mexican. Right?

58:26

Yeah. That blew me

58:27

away. He's Mexican? It blew me away that you

58:29

are Mexican. And I still don't believe it's like

58:31

I don't it's like Tim Dillon being

58:34

gay. It's a I think you use it for

58:36

branding. Sure.

58:38

Absolutely. I'm kidding. Yeah. Yeah.

58:40

I mean, you being Mexican really I

58:42

am Mexican like Tim Dylan is gay. It's a girl. Yeah. It

58:44

really is. It's it's a Mexican.

58:47

You don't act Mexican? No.

58:50

No. A

58:50

lot of aggressive white energy. The aggressive white energy. Yeah.

58:53

Your red red head. Yes. I

58:55

mean, there's two

58:57

Mexican redheads. No. You And canelo. You can know

59:00

that I'm yeah. Canelo looks I look

59:02

like him when I was younger. Yeah. You guys look It's

59:05

possible we have My grandfather was a railroad

59:07

doctor, but early early in August. I'm sorry. What is

59:10

it? A

59:10

railroad doctor. What is that? So

59:13

he worked for the railroad system

59:16

in Mexico City back in his way back in the turn

59:18

of Yeah. Real road to Mexico? Sure. I'm

59:20

only in the twenties anyway. Yeah. But so what

59:22

he would do is ride the

59:24

trains and and stop at each place and and be the company

59:26

doctor for the railroad. So -- Wow. -- you get to

59:28

travel around on the train.

59:31

Wow. And so I think he fucked a

59:33

lot of chicks doing that.

59:35

Sure. And so maybe Cannell

59:37

and I are connected, you know. I don't

59:39

know. That'd be funny if that's your if that's your

59:41

your cousin right there or your

59:44

your distant

59:44

brother. I mean, he's a good looking guy.

59:46

Good looking guy. You

59:48

know, who's a good look it's a great fighter.

59:49

Yeah. Great fighter. Fantastic. But but it's weird.

59:51

Like, he's like, so what

59:53

us yeah. You you

59:56

can know that I'm Mexican because I told

59:58

you -- Yeah. -- but you can't imagine me,

1:00:00

you know, slinging

1:00:02

tamales. No. In the same

1:00:04

way that you can know that Tim Dylan is gay,

1:00:06

but you just can't picture a cock in his

1:00:07

mouth. No.

1:00:07

Because you can't picture it like,

1:00:10

yeah. Saket. Yeah,

1:00:12

man. Yeah. Dude, I love the way you put my balls in mouth

1:00:14

too. No. Not like that. You're a fucking

1:00:16

idiot. No. So I'll do

1:00:18

it. Yeah. I'll do it. Let

1:00:21

me see your dick. Yeah. You know, I

1:00:23

can't see it. It's hard to imagine. It's hard

1:00:25

to imagine. Yep. You know what I

1:00:26

mean? I want them

1:00:27

to prove it. I want a pay per

1:00:29

view. On him proving it. I want that be a gate. At the

1:00:31

end of this podcast -- You're gonna say --

1:00:33

I'm gonna suck Bobby's ass. Fuck Patreon.

1:00:36

Yeah. Patreon only behind

1:00:38

the paywall. But it's a different payroll.

1:00:40

It's like a different tier. Uh-huh. Picking up paywalls. You have a special a

1:00:42

lot you have a live

1:00:45

performance at the

1:00:45

garden, a

1:00:48

big event. Yes. It's sold out January twenty fifth. You can't

1:00:50

get a ticket. You

1:00:51

can't get

1:00:51

one, but you can't get two.

1:00:52

That's why the call

1:00:53

is sold out when can't

1:00:55

get pairs in. You can't

1:00:56

get you get one ticket and be that guy

1:00:58

by yourself. Sitting next to a

1:01:00

couple. Between two couples. Nobody

1:01:03

likes that guy. I mean, I don't know.

1:01:05

Hope he spies the ticket. I mean, yeah, you can buy it, but you

1:01:06

are that guy. Just know you're that guy. You

1:01:09

know, like most should be that

1:01:11

guy. That's

1:01:11

right. Or

1:01:14

or A Joe would be that guy. Sure. Yeah. But, yeah,

1:01:16

don't be that guy, but be that guy. But, yes,

1:01:18

it's sold sold out eighteen thousand. But

1:01:20

I'm in the

1:01:21

middle. But but you can live stream it. But you can

1:01:24

live stream it. Yes. On my website.

1:01:26

It's on your website and you

1:01:28

can click

1:01:30

the link we're gonna have to link in the thing right in the buy Already buy

1:01:32

it now. You can buy it. You

1:01:33

can buy it right now. You can

1:01:35

click it on on his

1:01:38

Instagram a little scan bar

1:01:40

code. It's everywhere. Click it.

1:01:42

Brings your right to a site. You can

1:01:44

buy it. Yeah. How much is it? Twenty five

1:01:45

bucks. Twenty five hundred dollars.

1:01:48

How much is it? Twenty

1:01:49

five dollars. Twenty five

1:01:50

dollars. That was a mistake. That's so

1:01:52

much better. That's way less than twenty five hundred.

1:01:54

Because twenty five is a good deal. Yeah. Hundred.

1:01:56

Twenty five hundred. It's been interesting

1:01:57

to just say twenty five hundred bucks. Fuck you. What yeah.

1:01:59

Every what everybody bought it? There's like three people buy it, and

1:02:01

I'm like, that's not

1:02:04

bad. Yeah. Just make it that

1:02:06

much. That's twenty five bucks and you get

1:02:08

it. You can watch it live --

1:02:10

Yeah. -- twenty second

1:02:11

delay. You need You gotta have a

1:02:13

delay. Yeah. You gotta

1:02:14

have a delay. Yeah. Case why? Because you scream

1:02:16

at some lady pants or something. You shit yourself?

1:02:18

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's thirty seconds. But

1:02:20

anyway, so twenty twenty five bucks, you

1:02:22

can watch it live or you

1:02:24

can watch it till the seventeenth of

1:02:26

January, I think. It's like seventeen

1:02:30

days later. We're taking it down. Has this ever been done anymore?

1:02:32

Has this ever been done? I don't think it could

1:02:33

I mean, the guy that People have done

1:02:35

live stand up

1:02:38

specials. Yeah. Jerry did one. I know George Lopez

1:02:40

used to always do it live. Right.

1:02:42

But I don't think anyone's live stream, like,

1:02:44

on a website, is a special. The Garden

1:02:46

said they hadn't

1:02:48

done this or they

1:02:49

Okay. So we had to figure it out with they've done live events there. What's

1:02:51

the date again?

1:02:51

January twenty eight. And that's a Saturday night?

1:02:54

Saturday night.

1:02:56

Saturday night, I

1:02:57

mean, this

1:02:57

is a this I'm very excited. It's gonna be

1:03:00

also a touring all year to

1:03:02

get to this place. Yeah.

1:03:04

I shot a special January

1:03:07

or at the Dolby Theatre

1:03:09

in LA. Right. And that is gonna be

1:03:11

turned into a special. That'll come

1:03:13

out in April. This is I'm a live event. This is a

1:03:15

live event. You just just to see this show. Can I be my last

1:03:17

show for a long time? I'm gonna take at least a year

1:03:19

off after that

1:03:20

show. Can I can I sucky dick a little

1:03:24

bit here? I not really. I mean, like, in professional

1:03:28

way. Yeah. This

1:03:32

hour because I've been with you on the road. We were just

1:03:34

on the road. I've I've toured with you for the year. I

1:03:36

went to Europe with you and and now I

1:03:38

just went on the road with you again

1:03:41

and it's it's actually so much better than it was

1:03:43

and it was insane back in Europe.

1:03:45

This hour is a is

1:03:47

a fucking epic hour. It's probably one of

1:03:49

your best hours. Feel like it's one

1:03:51

of my better ones. It really is. And the fact that and the special

1:03:53

is

1:03:53

filmed, and that's coming out -- Yeah. --

1:03:56

after -- Yeah. -- this live event. That'll be the same

1:03:58

as other ones

1:04:00

I've done. Ten bucks. Right. And you can download it and keep it.

1:04:02

This one is only for five and

1:04:04

it's live and you can watch it for seventeen days

1:04:06

and

1:04:07

it goes away. And if you buy if

1:04:09

you buy it -- Yeah. watch after seventeen. Are you nervous about

1:04:12

this? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This was

1:04:14

I

1:04:14

mean, this is It's fun to be nervous,

1:04:17

you know, after thirty eight years of doing

1:04:19

this. It's fun to be like this show. I had a nightmare about this

1:04:21

show. When last night?

1:04:24

Horrible nightmare about this. Do you remember it? Hard to

1:04:26

remember it? you

1:04:28

please tell us? Take me you know,

1:04:30

yeah, I was on stage and

1:04:32

at the garden. Yeah. I

1:04:35

could remember my acting as whatever comedian. Yeah. I

1:04:37

could remember my act. Yeah. I could remember one word

1:04:39

of it. And I'm asking my brain,

1:04:42

please give me the fucking give me

1:04:44

the joke. And I can't remember them. And so I started trying

1:04:46

to tell my old joke about

1:04:48

suck a bag of sticks. Yeah. I remember

1:04:50

that one. And I was and I don't

1:04:52

really remember it. Right. And I thought they'll they'll

1:04:54

love this because I never repeat material.

1:04:56

Yeah. And they're fans, so they'll like this. So I

1:04:58

start going so I was suck so

1:05:00

I was This is literally how I was doing. It was

1:05:02

like, so I was I was in AII was in traffic and a

1:05:04

guy and I a guy cut me I cut

1:05:07

a guy off. And

1:05:10

he rolled down his window to swear at

1:05:12

me. So I rolled down mine. Oh, fuck.

1:05:14

And he said suck a bag of

1:05:18

dicks. And I thought one of my how am I how am I

1:05:21

they start boohoo. They start

1:05:23

booing, and the whole place

1:05:25

is boohooing. Boom. And

1:05:28

I realized that part of the reason I had this nightmare was because watched

1:05:30

Tom Brady last night in the

1:05:32

playoffs -- Yep. -- of

1:05:34

play. It was the tempeh

1:05:36

against the cowboys. Cowboys. And they Tom Brady,

1:05:38

who's just, like, in in destructible legend,

1:05:40

the best And he's stunk

1:05:44

Yep. And the whole game's stunk and his they just and

1:05:46

it was and it was at

1:05:48

home. Yep. And you could

1:05:50

hear them

1:05:51

all just going, and they hate that you

1:05:53

can't hate anyone more than

1:05:56

a great champion --

1:05:58

Yeah. -- who's playing super shitty

1:06:00

all night.

1:06:02

Right. Way worse than just if your team sucks. Yeah. No. You use

1:06:04

Tom Brady. Yeah. And he won

1:06:06

it for them, what, two years ago? Two

1:06:09

years ago. Yeah. But they're just and

1:06:11

it just and he's, like, yelling at the like, come on. Somebody, like,

1:06:14

dropped the pass anyway. Come

1:06:16

on. Yeah. And

1:06:18

he looked

1:06:18

unhappy. He should've just talked to him after quietly. Oh, yeah.

1:06:20

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And I just

1:06:23

I was so I

1:06:23

took that into my

1:06:26

dream. Wow. And

1:06:28

I thought I'm gonna fucking bail them. Yeah. And more people,

1:06:30

I've never

1:06:30

played for this many people. Eighteen thousand. Biggest audience

1:06:33

of my In the round.

1:06:34

Yes. Biggest audience of my life.

1:06:37

And you're not that. It's

1:06:38

coming back to I used to I did the garden eight

1:06:40

times and then not for five years and this

1:06:42

is my I just wanna do this one

1:06:44

time I put a lot of pressure

1:06:46

on this and I'm live streaming

1:06:47

it. I mean, not only is playing the guard and

1:06:49

after that time off

1:06:51

-- Yeah.

1:06:52

-- is pressure. Playing

1:06:54

the guard is not Pressure. It's

1:06:55

not selling it. Not selling it.

1:06:57

Not pressure. More tickets than I ever sold it's Selling

1:06:59

it out

1:06:59

is nuts. Now they're all

1:07:01

gonna be there? Yes. And now this is live

1:07:03

stream. Good. No. That's

1:07:04

live stream it. And I saw

1:07:07

in the dream eye camera where

1:07:09

my jokes are start on that one and

1:07:11

it I go into the weird

1:07:14

backstage area and the comedian is just hanging

1:07:16

out and

1:07:18

talking. And I was I was making horrible noise, like awful

1:07:20

noises because I was so upset. I was

1:07:24

going, and I thought

1:07:26

I'm losing my mind. I'm having a nervous

1:07:28

breakdown. And this is gonna kill

1:07:30

me. What's happening right now is breaking

1:07:32

me. Yeah. And I'm going to

1:07:34

be like in valid Africa. And I truly believe that you and

1:07:36

Keith are gonna talk about why I started making more

1:07:38

noise because I wanted it to happen. I was like,

1:07:40

I wanna just get there. I wanna get to

1:07:42

the part. Where

1:07:45

I've you lot where I'm drooling and

1:07:47

I can't and and that's my life is over.

1:07:49

Right? Once I felt

1:07:52

coming. Yeah. Like, let's just get there. Let's just get this sort of screaming

1:07:54

louder and louder hoping that

1:07:56

it would

1:07:57

just do have a stroke. Yeah.

1:07:59

And just

1:08:00

we'd have to carry you the shows. That's

1:08:01

what I want.

1:08:02

Bigger strokes. Keith Robinson is opening

1:08:04

for you. Keith Robinson is opening for which he is

1:08:06

Or you I love Keith. Dude, he's a much.

1:08:09

His new hour. It's really something

1:08:11

special. It's fuck.

1:08:14

He's so funny. One stroke. So he was funny

1:08:16

comedian. Always funny. I always love Heath. I

1:08:18

always found a very non kidding question. And

1:08:20

then first

1:08:23

stroke, took him down about twenty percent. Sure. Second stroke made

1:08:25

him funnier than he's

1:08:26

ever been before. Unbeliev I mean,

1:08:29

you're not

1:08:29

I know not Sounds funny. It's it's

1:08:32

true. Yep. He's fine.

1:08:34

I saw him at the seller one night. And I was like, gee, because he was talking about he's -- Yeah. of

1:08:36

letting the voice, the tough he's

1:08:38

hard for him to talk. Yeah.

1:08:43

Instead of letting it slow him down. He's pushing through it and talking like

1:08:45

this now. Yeah. He's and also

1:08:47

the talking about the experience of

1:08:50

his life. Yeah. I was like,

1:08:52

god, Damn it. This is funny,

1:08:54

so I just walked out to my career. I sat and sat and said, you gotta do the garden. Wow. He's me

1:08:56

before. Yeah. I've I've

1:08:59

took him to

1:09:00

Europe. All over Europe after

1:09:02

his first stroke. Are you gonna get the cart that they took

1:09:03

the iron sheik out to the match in

1:09:06

WrestleMania two? Gonna be a

1:09:08

throne.

1:09:10

Oh, good. Like -- Yeah. -- the Tyson Fury

1:09:12

throne. It would

1:09:12

be hilarious if he goes, alright, ladies and gentlemen,

1:09:15

Keith Robinson, and you make him

1:09:16

walk from the back. And it's just you

1:09:18

ever seen, like, you watch boxing. Sure. When

1:09:21

Tyson Fury and these guys do the ringwatches

1:09:23

where they get

1:09:23

carried out. It's stupid because they picture

1:09:26

it in a moment. They picture one moment where he's on the throne like

1:09:29

this. Yeah. But

1:09:32

it takes fucking twenty minutes. Sure. So after he does this

1:09:34

a few times, now he's just sitting on the Just there's a lot

1:09:36

of down time.

1:09:37

His his opponent. What's

1:09:38

his name? Who got he beat

1:09:42

three times. Yeah. The

1:09:43

Diane say wilder. Dante

1:09:45

wilder, he actually said he lost because

1:09:47

of his outfit. He was

1:09:49

wearing really thing. He

1:09:50

wore that heavy thing to ring. He was exhausted the thunderstorms. Bites so best. best. no.

1:09:52

I've been thinking about this a lot of

1:09:54

logistics with this show, because I also have

1:09:56

Ravi Cold

1:09:59

Trane opening for me, who's John Cold Trane's son. He

1:10:02

has a great saxophone, jazz

1:10:04

saxophone, and he's

1:10:06

a

1:10:07

coming this Trio and they're And and they

1:10:09

get to see that. Right? Right. When you buy it. Yeah. You So that's when the show

1:10:11

starts. The stream starts at, like, seven thirty when

1:10:14

the show starts. Right. And you'll see all the opening stuff and everything. Wow. Then there'll

1:10:16

be a weird break because I have to

1:10:18

get rid of the instruments and the,

1:10:20

right, drum kit and shit.

1:10:22

Yeah. There'll be a break between the openers

1:10:24

and me. And you're gonna have a a host go up first? I haven't figured that

1:10:27

out. You gotta get a host. Yeah. I haven't figured out the host. You

1:10:30

can't open up with Keith. No. I want Keith and Robbie both to have,

1:10:33

like, a lot of attention. Right. Yeah. I want them

1:10:35

to open it cold, so I haven't

1:10:37

figured out all the order

1:10:39

and stuff yet. Yeah. But I think we'll put

1:10:41

Keith near the stage. Yeah. And then he'll come up. Yeah. And then also,

1:10:43

I I don't wanna be I

1:10:46

don't wanna do a ring walk

1:10:48

kind of

1:10:48

thing. Like, I don't wanna

1:10:49

walk. Well, how are you gonna get to this stage? I think we'll probably hit the lights, and then I'll sneak

1:10:51

to the stage, then come up, and

1:10:54

then I'll be there. So, like, the

1:10:56

undertaker? He's gonna appear.

1:10:58

He's just gonna James. Yeah. It's gonna

1:11:00

be like a

1:11:01

dang cook entrance. Yeah. That's right.

1:11:03

Blah. Blah. Blah.

1:11:07

Yeah.

1:11:07

Exactly. But that's another thing I'm wanting to do

1:11:09

is that you're not you're in the round.

1:11:11

Yeah. You're

1:11:13

not you go out because I perform for

1:11:15

you and there's a your stool is

1:11:17

there. Yeah. And the mic is

1:11:19

there. That's right. And that's it. I

1:11:21

I pace a little. You know what

1:11:23

I mean? Yeah. You you walk

1:11:25

back and forth a very little bit -- Yeah. -- and you stand and

1:11:27

deliver a lot

1:11:31

of

1:11:31

it. Right? How are you gonna like,

1:11:34

I know how to do the round around before. But what would you Do you move more? I

1:11:37

did

1:11:39

I don't remember. Thank you.

1:11:41

Yeah. Oh my god. The Oh my

1:11:43

god. I thought something just happened with the feet. Oh my god. Son of a bitch. Especially I

1:11:44

did. Alright. Go ahead.

1:11:47

Yeah. Oh my god.

1:11:50

I shot it in Phoenix -- Right. -- at the celebrity

1:11:52

theater, which is around. I did

1:11:54

it there because Carlin did one there.

1:11:56

Right? And it never changed since then. Like,

1:11:58

they even even recarpet it. the same. And

1:12:01

I watched Carlin, it's my favorite

1:12:03

specialties. I forget what it's

1:12:06

called. But it's in at the celebrity theater. They're all

1:12:09

cuts maybe. Yes. The thing is

1:12:11

when you shoot, like, on

1:12:13

in a theater, you're in, like, this

1:12:15

thing, you're standing there, and then the audience is out here. So

1:12:18

the the camera can look at you and you're

1:12:20

isolated -- Yeah. --

1:12:22

or can look at the audience. And

1:12:24

there's no real reason. It looks like it is.

1:12:26

Look at the audience. But yeah. But when you look at a comedian in the

1:12:30

round -- Mhmm. Then the audience is behind them

1:12:32

all the time no matter which way you

1:12:34

look. Right. You love them. Walking

1:12:37

us. And also, It's like,

1:12:40

you know, mod I don't know if they still make

1:12:42

them this way, but mods, the engines are rotary engines. I

1:12:44

don't know if you know that they're not piston

1:12:46

engines. Every car in the world has a

1:12:48

piston engine. Right? But Mazda anyway used

1:12:50

to make a rotary engine, which

1:12:53

is it spins and there's spark plugs

1:12:55

surrounding that does this weird

1:12:56

thing. So Thank you for dumbing that

1:12:59

down for me. Yeah. Sure. So there's

1:13:02

cameras all around you, but they don't have data can't see each other --

1:13:05

Right. -- because they just don't have to be a little

1:13:07

off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And

1:13:10

everywhere you turn, there's a camera? And all behind you. Are you and

1:13:12

the audience are together in every shot? Is this the

1:13:14

wrong way you had a stain on your shirt?

1:13:17

I mean, I usually have Okay. Can I can I be honest

1:13:19

with you? It's my one of my favorite things

1:13:21

about you --

1:13:22

Yeah. -- because you don't even care about

1:13:24

it. Well,

1:13:25

I can't I can't wear I'd wear a suit

1:13:27

in one I'll never do it again. Yeah. But you it's

1:13:28

Yeah. Well, clothes just melt on me. They

1:13:30

don't -- Yeah. -- stay good. Yeah.

1:13:32

When I wear someone crisp,

1:13:35

it just starts to

1:13:36

But it's she

1:13:37

is so funny that it doesn't matter. That's what I love about. It's like, yeah, it doesn't I

1:13:39

don't care. I'm not nobody is going like

1:13:42

I can't wait

1:13:42

to see how good he looks. Yeah.

1:13:45

If if you're not funny, they do. Sure. Well, you look great. That's the worst compliment you can

1:13:48

get when coming up.

1:13:50

Dude, you look

1:13:51

great. Yeah. I got that

1:13:54

from my age at once. That's terrible. Yeah. But that but that so when you're in there's a shot from that Yeah.

1:13:56

So when you

1:14:00

so anyway, I

1:14:02

did that and I learned that when you play the you have kinda spiraling -- have the

1:14:04

stool in there

1:14:07

and you just and

1:14:09

you just keep moving and keep moving. Yeah. And and you keep

1:14:12

you just never stop twirlin in

1:14:14

a sense. Yep. Stop a few

1:14:16

times. Few

1:14:19

times. Right. Carlin does a bit in that special where

1:14:21

he's reading from these cards and he's sitting on the stool

1:14:23

-- Mhmm. -- and he's reading

1:14:25

bits from cards. And he keeps shifting

1:14:28

and moving. Alright. Oh, yeah. Shifting

1:14:30

and moving. Yeah. And the crowd

1:14:32

just gets gets into it. And also a

1:14:34

lot of times they're at the garden, they're watching

1:14:36

in the jumbo tranche. So -- Right. -- so they can see that they

1:14:38

get they they can always look at your face if they're looking up

1:14:39

there. Yeah. Yeah. The guy I

1:14:42

did the garden with Dane I

1:14:44

think once or twice. I did it

1:14:46

once with Dane and I I think I did it again friends of Dane, me and Billy and

1:14:49

everybody. Mhmm. But

1:14:52

the round is

1:14:54

is rock star shit. Yeah. You can't help, but feel like when you could do that you

1:14:59

hear people respond to a look.

1:15:02

Yeah. Like, I remember before I when I got into

1:15:03

comedy, I went and

1:15:06

saw Pearl Jam, and I went any

1:15:08

veteran came out of the Boston Garden.

1:15:10

Mhmm. It didn't say a thing, and he just went like this. And the place went

1:15:16

Yeah. And

1:15:16

then he went

1:15:17

like this. And then he went like this in the whole place.

1:15:19

Yeah. I was like, what

1:15:22

the fuck is that? Not that, you know, I got that, but when you come

1:15:24

out and you kinda look just that

1:15:26

thing. Yeah. You know, I

1:15:30

it's really something And the garden is the only arena I really ever

1:15:32

enjoyed doing, and I've never done

1:15:34

it in the

1:15:35

round. Jesus Christ. So having by

1:15:38

the way, I gotta go. It's Rich

1:15:40

Voss.

1:15:41

You gotta leave? Can you give us five

1:15:43

more minutes? Yes. We're we started twenty minutes late for some reason. Sorry. Rich, I'm doing a

1:15:45

podcast with Louis c cake, and I

1:15:47

call you back.

1:15:51

Yeah. I'm just coming from a meeting and

1:15:53

I'm furious. Fucking old

1:15:56

timers don't know what he's

1:15:58

fucking talking

1:15:59

about. And, you know, You're fucking

1:16:01

me. I'm on the podcast right

1:16:02

now. You're on the podcast. Oh, right. Yeah. Who gives a fuck. I

1:16:06

I'm on a podcast.

1:16:08

Good. Fucking old timers go

1:16:10

set the fuck up. I'm not gonna

1:16:11

argue. I guess you're wrong. That's what you're not gonna argue with me. It

1:16:15

was fucking wrong. Who's

1:16:16

an old

1:16:17

time. Right? Are you talking about an AA meeting? Abraham Lincoln. Are

1:16:19

you at an

1:16:19

AA meeting? Yeah. You know, Louis said I Lilly

1:16:20

said who's an old time

1:16:22

with the rich boss Abraham Lincoln?

1:16:26

Louis Vuitton. Louis Vuitton.

1:16:27

I'm very old. You're very old.

1:16:30

Anyways, I got questions for you.

1:16:32

Old. Let's get to these questions, dude. Yeah. Right. You know, I

1:16:34

I I'm gonna I don't know why my follows

1:16:36

on. Apologize about that. Alright. Listen. We got

1:16:38

questions from the fans. Okay. I've never seen him respond like

1:16:44

this ever. I'm gonna let you read

1:16:46

them, Max. I'll just have him here just in case you fuck him up. Okay. Alright. Go. I trust you Max.

1:16:48

Hi. It's I'd love to hear

1:16:50

about the editing of your special kill

1:16:52

box. Did

1:16:54

the incident with that lady or anything make

1:16:57

it a challenge to

1:16:59

produce? Well, no, we just

1:17:01

cut that out. The lady

1:17:03

fell over and Mostly, we did two

1:17:05

shows for kill box, bobby's special kill box that's on my website, luiskey

1:17:08

dot com. Yeah. With chilling, it's

1:17:10

doing great. People buy it all the

1:17:12

time. And

1:17:14

the we did two shows

1:17:16

in the first

1:17:17

show, a lady passed out in the middle of the show.

1:17:19

And the second show Is it

1:17:21

which is your nightmare? Yeah. I lived --

1:17:23

Yeah. -- your nightmare. Yeah. Because when

1:17:25

it happened, and

1:17:26

then you just

1:17:27

don't know what the fuck to

1:17:29

do next. Well,

1:17:30

I was nervous anyways. Yeah. Yeah. The

1:17:32

first show was Yankee, and also we're in a space that

1:17:34

had never been used that way before. It was

1:17:36

hot. Everybody, nobody was sure what would work. Yep.

1:17:38

And then we ended up using almost almost exclusively the

1:17:41

second show. So

1:17:42

Yeah. The first show was what we just

1:17:44

didn't need. We didn't need to edit it

1:17:46

out. Really. But it was bad. And then it was terrible

1:17:48

because when it happened,

1:17:51

everything stopped.

1:17:52

Yeah. And I had to

1:17:54

restart That's right. And I remember being off stage seeing chairs on the stage?

1:17:57

Yeah. Because people were picking up taking up picking up

1:17:59

chairs and putting them on stage

1:18:01

to clear space for this Fucking

1:18:03

Floridian. I remember just passed out.

1:18:06

I remember I'm sitting there and

1:18:08

I'm I'm literally in my head

1:18:10

and you went, I looked at

1:18:12

you and you went, we're good. Yeah. All good.

1:18:14

And and and and I That started again. Yeah.

1:18:16

And I went back on

1:18:18

stage. I don't know what I

1:18:20

said.

1:18:20

You see, you could did a good job recovering. I don't know what

1:18:22

I said. A

1:18:23

job. I don't remember either, but it was all funny. Well, for some day, we'll clip

1:18:24

it out. Yeah. We should clip

1:18:26

out the the people that incident

1:18:30

and put it up. We will. We will. And and I

1:18:32

remember going back, but I remember going back

1:18:34

into the room. Mhmm. Fucking I

1:18:38

crumbled. Yeah. I crumbled. And I

1:18:41

don't crumble easy. No. You were upset. I was

1:18:43

-- I'm very upset. -- I was upset and you came

1:18:47

in. You Your energy was different though. You're like, well, that was great, man. Yeah. I

1:18:49

knew that the show was

1:18:49

gonna be good. Could I ask you now that we're

1:18:52

here? Yeah.

1:18:54

Were you Were you coming in being good and

1:18:56

positive to for me,

1:18:58

or you was that sincere?

1:19:00

No. I thought

1:19:01

The first show was solid, and I knew that the second show was gonna be huge. Right?

1:19:03

Because I could I could see that you I could

1:19:05

see what was going on with you. I knew you

1:19:08

were upset Yeah.

1:19:11

I was surprised how upset you were because it was overall is

1:19:13

a good show. If we had had to do the

1:19:15

first show -- Yeah. -- we had

1:19:18

it. We had a good version of

1:19:20

it. And it was just really funny. It was

1:19:22

really good. And I mean, you crushed the first show. You really did. There was a weird energy

1:19:24

because the the fan fans

1:19:27

weren't cooling you enough Yeah.

1:19:29

But it wasn't a big deal. Like, it wasn't a big deal

1:19:31

at all. I was like, this is great. This is going great. great. Yeah.

1:19:34

We have another shot

1:19:37

Yeah. I peaked at the second show crowd. I could see. The

1:19:39

early early show was like six PM or something. It was like super early.

1:19:43

It was hot It was too hot

1:19:45

and it was very very early show feeling. Yeah. But I knew what was going on

1:19:48

with you that

1:19:50

you were, like, just

1:19:52

just dissolving inside --

1:19:54

Yeah. -- because I've done now ten of these. I just shot my tenth special.

1:19:56

So I know what

1:19:58

it's like the first show

1:20:01

You just go, nothing. I've got nothing. That's it. I shouldn't I I don't belong here. This is

1:20:03

the one every

1:20:08

first show. Yep. You

1:20:10

go. I don't belong here. I have come here. And this humiliating myself.

1:20:16

Mhmm. And then you gotta read, you

1:20:18

gotta get I mean, the fur I think I told you this that night, but the

1:20:23

first time when I shot chewed up, the first show was so

1:20:25

bad for in my

1:20:27

mind. Yeah. And I thought I

1:20:29

don't know how to get out of this.

1:20:31

I had nobody to talk to. And then I remembered

1:20:33

that I had a DVD in

1:20:35

my bag of the

1:20:39

movie about called when we

1:20:41

were kings about Muhammad Ali winning

1:20:43

-- Yeah. -- in in the jungle.

1:20:45

Oh, yep. That's true. In the

1:20:48

jungle. Yep. And I remember that

1:20:50

the first round, he threw all these right hand leads and foreman

1:20:52

just got angry and fucking

1:20:54

hit him really hard at there

1:20:58

is a moment that Norman mailer, the the

1:21:01

the journalist describes against the fact

1:21:03

you see Ollie's in

1:21:05

the corner, And he's like, this, and he's breathing

1:21:07

hard, and his eyes are watering, and he's

1:21:09

like, fuck. Like, he's been saying he's gonna

1:21:12

do like, you know, And and

1:21:14

he's, like, describing what Ollie was feeling, which was, like, here it is. You're here stupid.

1:21:16

Now you're fucking here. What are

1:21:18

you gonna do? You just threw

1:21:23

twenty right hand leads that landed on this guy and

1:21:25

you didn't hurt him. Yep. And what are

1:21:27

you gonna do? And do you

1:21:29

have it in you? To do what you thought what

1:21:31

you said you were gonna do. Yep. And then he

1:21:33

got out of the stool and he went to

1:21:35

the crowd. Ali Boomayi

1:21:38

and he clowned any any one of

1:21:40

the fight. Yep. So I watch I

1:21:42

find a DVD player and watched it between shows.

1:21:44

Well, you gave me that just you told

1:21:46

me that one, you gave me three Pep talks.

1:21:48

You gave me that one. I believe there was a

1:21:51

there might have been a JFK one. None of it

1:21:53

you gave me three peptidos. None

1:21:55

of them worked. Yeah.

1:21:58

And then you you literally went on your phone -- Yeah. -- and I was still holding my head. And you went on

1:22:00

your phone and you got the Tom Brady

1:22:02

video. That's what And you went like

1:22:04

this.

1:22:07

Yeah. Watch this. Yes. And it worked. And it was Tom

1:22:09

Brady -- Yep. -- talking about every time

1:22:11

a great person wins

1:22:13

a championship -- Yeah. -- he always context them if he

1:22:15

knows them and says great job. Yeah. And they always say

1:22:18

the same thing. They say that was really

1:22:20

hard. That

1:22:23

was really hard. Yeah. Like, they don't go like, yeah,

1:22:25

man. You I fucking kicked ass. Yeah.

1:22:27

They when they're talking to somebody who's

1:22:29

been there -- Yeah. -- they go that was

1:22:31

really hard. Yeah. It hurt to do that. Yeah. And he says

1:22:33

that's what it's like when you're at the high

1:22:35

levels, when you're trying to

1:22:37

do the great things,

1:22:39

and then Brady sweet Disney Brady looks

1:22:41

in the camera and goes, it's fucking hard. Yeah. That worked. That one I

1:22:44

literally got up. Yeah. And

1:22:46

I was like, let's do this.

1:22:48

Yes.

1:22:49

That's right. Well, first, you went

1:22:51

like this. Yeah. And meditating. Your son was there. Oh, I

1:22:53

also shot is

1:22:56

it your wife,

1:22:58

like get him out of here. Yeah. Yeah. I love Max much.

1:23:00

Yeah. Let's get him to the

1:23:02

hotel and give him some pizza. Yeah.

1:23:07

So the daddy can do his job. Yep. And you went like this,

1:23:09

and there was chaos all around everywhere. And

1:23:11

you were like this and

1:23:13

I you know, you

1:23:15

were a mountain and you were just went

1:23:17

like this and you meditated. And I sat and I watched you

1:23:20

meditate with all

1:23:22

this crazy stuff around

1:23:24

you. And I was like, wow, man.

1:23:26

Then I would, like, learn that learn from you in that moment. Yeah. Like, that's really something. Yeah. And you

1:23:28

went and you

1:23:31

found something. Yep. Yeah. And then you

1:23:34

came out for the second show

1:23:36

and just crisp fucking perfect perfect

1:23:38

show. Yeah. Beginning to end. It was awesome. It was great.

1:23:40

And and it's on your website -- Yes.

1:23:42

-- which is pretty much a network now.

1:23:45

Yeah. It's

1:23:48

a platform. You have time for one more

1:23:50

question, but I'm gonna wrap it up. One more question. This better be from where's the one from

1:23:52

Lou? Ask from

1:23:55

Lou, please. Alright. You've

1:23:58

directed such an eclectic amalgamation of projects like ice cream, lily horse, and Pete,

1:24:00

and now kill box also different.

1:24:02

Do you have a favorite genre?

1:24:08

Genre. I

1:24:12

like I

1:24:15

like black corn.

1:24:21

It's good. Is that what you get into next? Is that

1:24:23

what you're gonna start start making horns?

1:24:26

Blackporn? Just black people. What are you

1:24:28

gonna do next, dude? You're leaving this business

1:24:30

for a year, you said. Yeah. You're doing this special. doing the

1:24:32

live -- Live garden at the garden. --

1:24:34

which people get right there, beautiful poster.

1:24:38

Go to lucy k dot com. Buy it right now. And then your

1:24:41

your your specials coming up. But this is

1:24:43

the last live performance. Yeah. This

1:24:45

is the last time you'll be able to see

1:24:47

you live. And then you go on away, which fucking it sucks,

1:24:49

but it's gotta

1:24:50

be done. I needed time. I

1:24:53

need a year off at least. What are you gonna

1:24:55

go do? I'm gonna take a year off and decide whether to keep doing

1:24:57

this. Like, I wanna I would like to decide to

1:24:59

keep you on

1:25:01

stand up, but I'm just I'm letting myself decide

1:25:04

after a year. A year. Yeah. I'm gonna

1:25:06

say for now that I don't know that

1:25:08

I'll ever do it again.

1:25:10

Are you gonna make a TV show? I

1:25:12

don't know. I've I'd love to do a year

1:25:14

just fucking just laying around. Although, I really do have this work

1:25:17

thing I love to work. But I wrote a movie. I wrote a movie

1:25:20

with my friend Dino Stamatopoulos. He's, like, one of

1:25:22

my best buddies. He's I wrote on Conan

1:25:24

with him and Dana Harvey show and

1:25:26

stuff. Even later when we wrote together. Yeah.

1:25:28

But we wrote this movie together that's

1:25:30

really, really weird and interesting. It's a little bit horror. It's

1:25:32

a little bit science fiction.

1:25:35

It's a little bit Really?

1:25:37

Strange movie. And so we're gonna try to put put the money together

1:25:39

and shoot it. The last movie

1:25:42

I made I paid for it

1:25:44

myself. Which is

1:25:46

fourth of July. Fourth of July, which you're in. I'm editing it. Thanks, buddy. Great movie, can't keep

1:25:48

doing that. I

1:25:51

mean, I gotta get

1:25:54

money elsewhere. But so we're gonna try to make this movie and then you either well shoot that this year or next? That'll be the next thing

1:25:56

I do, however

1:25:59

long it takes. To

1:26:01

get it together. Movie, the movie, or this year, if I can't get the movie made this year, I just won't do

1:26:03

anything. Anything. He's

1:26:07

gonna chill out Yeah. No. Right. I

1:26:09

like I I wrote I started writing fiction a while ago, and I'm not good at

1:26:11

it, but I'd like to devote

1:26:14

a little more time to

1:26:16

that. Seemed like a

1:26:18

Steven King type of dude. Sure.

1:26:20

I I tell

1:26:23

you what, man. My

1:26:25

special was fucking amazing. And I'm so glad you

1:26:28

got your money back. Oh, yeah. We

1:26:30

made we doubled it. I'm so, at

1:26:32

least,

1:26:35

fucking hard bar. So far every day.

1:26:36

You could buy it every day. It's it's so

1:26:38

that was the scariest thing for me that you

1:26:40

were gonna lose money on that. Yeah.

1:26:43

Were you nervous at

1:26:44

all? No. I knew that I

1:26:46

knew well, you I knew that my fan base, they when I do stuff with

1:26:48

other people -- Yeah.

1:26:51

-- they're always like, What are

1:26:53

you doing? They're not that into it. Yeah. If you when I would see who

1:26:55

samples it right away -- Right. -- it's always like, oh, you

1:26:57

guys really just wanna see the

1:26:59

specials. Right. Yep. But

1:27:02

a decent amount of people

1:27:04

because they know you. Yeah. But then you went

1:27:06

and did all these podcasts -- Yeah. --

1:27:08

and also word-of-mouth. It's fucking strong special.

1:27:10

Yeah. So it just keeps I've seen it, like, like, it's a few