0:45

I have with me Linda Bogdanoff

0:47

. She is a divine

0:49

feminine coach yummy

0:52

and she helps people harness

0:54

their sexual energy . I'm

0:57

just saying right now I'm pretty sure it's

0:59

going to be a juicy conversation , come

1:03

on . So thank

1:05

you , linda , for joining me today . I'm really

1:08

excited .

1:09

Thank you so much . I'm really excited . Thank you so much . I'm super excited

1:11

to be here to chat with you as well .

1:14

Will you please tell our listeners

1:17

what you do , and who you

1:19

help .

1:20

Yeah , so , as you said , I'm a divine feminine

1:22

coach and I help men

1:25

and women connect with their

1:27

divine feminine . So that means allowing

1:30

you to receive

1:32

more , whether that's pleasure , more

1:35

abundance , just receiving , which

1:37

is a very hard thing for a lot of people to do

1:39

so receiving

1:43

listening to their bodies , the wisdom

1:45

of their bodies and their intuition , so

1:47

that they can make the most aligned decisions

1:50

for themselves , instead of needing

1:53

it to come from externally .

1:56

I love that and let

1:58

me back up just a second . So you

2:00

said you help men and

2:02

women with

2:04

bringing out their divine energy

2:06

. So I imagine bringing

2:12

out their divine energy . So I imagine male listeners right now are

2:14

doing a little in their brain and and wait , wait a minute , wait a minute

2:16

. I'm a man . What are you talking about ? Feminine

2:18

? Like that might feel threatening

2:21

to guys . What can

2:23

you speak to ?

2:23

that , yes , so

2:25

I think our world

2:28

is very imbalanced in the masculine

2:30

energy and that is the

2:32

energy of doing , um

2:35

, for the sake of doing sometimes

2:37

, and and some

2:39

, you know there's other things , but , um

2:41

, we're stuck in that masculine energy . And

2:43

so the feminine , you know , everybody

2:46

has masculine and feminine energy

2:48

. It doesn't it's not just . You

2:50

know , your sex indicates which

2:52

energies you have , and the

2:54

whole idea is to balance the two . And

2:57

a lot of us , including women

2:59

and especially men , have

3:02

that imbalance of the feminine energy

3:04

about nurture and love

3:07

and , um , intuition

3:10

and embodiment , um

3:13

, so we

3:15

, we kind of need both , yeah , yeah

3:19

, and so it's really important for

3:21

everybody to have

3:24

that balance . Otherwise , otherwise

3:26

, where we may be , like women

3:29

operating from masculine

3:31

energy and men operating

3:33

in very masculine energies

3:35

, and and , and then

3:37

the feminine energy is left out and

3:41

it's needed to create , to to

3:45

provide kind of that direction as well

3:47

for us provide

3:53

kind of that direction as well .

3:54

For us , yeah yeah , feminine and masculine energy don't really have anything

3:56

to do with man , woman . We got to like separate those because

3:59

because , yeah , being feminine is

4:01

not does not mean being weak at

4:03

all , it's just accessing this

4:06

, this other part of us . So I'm glad

4:08

that we got a little clarity

4:10

on that definition right off the hop . So

4:14

, men , listen up , oh my gosh , it's like

4:16

the more men are in touch with

4:18

their feminine , they don't feel

4:21

so insecure and needing to prove themselves

4:23

all the time . And just you know , being the stud

4:25

when they can get in touch with their feminine

4:27

energy , being

4:30

the stud when they can get in touch with their feminine energy , ooh , there's

4:32

a level of security there and like security in their masculine

4:34

security out in the world , like just

4:37

being in touch with more parts of themselves . Oh

4:40

, it's so delicious when you're with a

4:42

man who's who's getting in touch with this feminine

4:44

.

4:47

Yes , yes , and it

4:50

might be jarring for some of us . So like

4:52

initially , when you do meet a man

4:54

that is feminine and masculine

4:57

, um , because you're just not used to

4:59

someone being vulnerable and , in their feelings

5:01

, like allowing their feelings to

5:03

come up . So , yeah , even

5:05

in the evolution of my relationship with my husband

5:07

we've been together for 12 , 12 years

5:10

and very different people

5:12

in the beginning and like

5:15

when he started to balance

5:17

his feminine energy

5:19

and it's still kind of a work in progress but

5:21

in the beginning I remember being like oh

5:23

, wow , like I wanted him to do this

5:25

, but I didn't expect . You

5:28

know how it was going to unfold . It didn't

5:30

. I don't know if I was necessarily prepared

5:32

for that , but now you know it's

5:35

. It's just been a really

5:37

beautiful kind of I don't

5:39

know it's a different energy , but but

5:42

his masculine does feel more secure as

5:45

a result of that .

5:46

Well , I love that , and

5:49

I love that you've got evidence in your own relationship

5:52

to back this up

5:54

. That's so good , so good . So

5:56

let me ask you what brought

5:58

you to this line of work ? That's

6:02

a great question .

6:05

It's definitely a personal experience , but

6:08

I really started the the first

6:10

half well , not first half , but

6:12

the first 30 years of my life um

6:14

, basically being so in

6:16

that masculine energy , like

6:19

I wanted to just

6:21

work and be independent and , you

6:23

know , not need a man or whatever

6:25

. So I was just like compensating for

6:27

that , for like wanting

6:29

to prove myself that

6:32

I , that I could be fiercely independent

6:34

, and I

6:36

went down the path of analytics , actually

6:38

so making very

6:41

logical decisions , using

6:43

data coding

6:45

, you know , doing all of this stuff

6:47

. That was very mind oriented

6:50

, like we couldn't

6:52

get anything wrong , you

6:54

know , and it was just very

6:57

, very masculine and

7:00

I was on that path for maybe

7:02

10 years and I

7:06

just it was

7:08

actually my 30th birthday where I

7:10

was in the Turks and Caicos , and

7:13

at this point I've traveled quite a bit and

7:15

um use travel as a

7:17

way to escape , but

7:20

during this journey , this

7:22

trip , I couldn't escape

7:24

, like I was miserable in

7:26

paradise , and that's when I realized

7:29

something has to shift , something

7:31

is not right in my life , because

7:34

I can't even be happy . In

7:36

paradise there's turquoise , blue

7:38

waters and it's like perfect weather and

7:41

it's just incredible , like

7:43

in the 3D . It's incredible , but

7:45

like internally , I just felt so

7:47

miserable , and

7:51

so that was a turning point for me . I was like , all

7:53

right , I got home and I was like

7:55

something needs to change because , like who

7:58

, who is miserable in the Texas

8:00

Bay coast ?

8:04

Right , and we think that external , you

8:06

know , Ooh , I'm going to go somewhere or

8:08

I'm going to do something and that'll make me happy

8:10

.

8:11

Yeah not really Exactly

8:13

. And then you know , the next thing that

8:15

was like very pertinent in my life was

8:18

my job . So I was like , okay , I

8:21

just have to change my job , my job

8:23

situation . But I started

8:26

building my own e-commerce

8:28

business during the time

8:30

that I was working in corporate and then

8:32

I ended up leaving shortly

8:34

after that and just being

8:37

full time in my business . But

8:39

I realized , even in my business I was very

8:41

masculine about it . And

8:44

they say that when you go on your

8:46

entrepreneurial journey , lots

8:48

of things come up . It's kind of like its own

8:50

spiritual awakening with relationship

8:52

and with your journey to

8:55

entrepreneurship . And so so many

8:57

things were just coming up and I was just realizing

9:00

that I was still trying

9:02

to prove myself through my business

9:05

, like I was trying to prove myself

9:07

in my job , in my corporate

9:10

journey , and it

9:13

just forced me to go down this

9:15

healing path . And that was several

9:17

years ago now and

9:20

that had led to

9:22

lots of different retreats , lots of different

9:24

like doing a lot of inner child work

9:26

, doing lots of different experimenting with modalities

9:29

to try to fix myself

9:32

, because I was like there's something wrong

9:34

. Um , I'm still not like

9:36

internally , I just still feel so unsatisfied

9:40

. And so , yeah

9:43

, the search kind of was before

9:45

. That was like , okay , let's search for external

9:48

things that can make me happy . And

9:50

now it was like okay , I know , I have inner work to

9:52

do , things are coming up . And

9:55

I remember there was one night in particular

9:57

where I was , I

10:00

saw like a YouTube

10:02

video on Tantra and

10:04

I'm not sure if you're aware of Salma Isadora

10:06

she

10:08

actually okay . So she

10:10

, um , her story is really beautiful and I

10:13

watched this 30 minute video and

10:15

she was talking about like basically

10:17

, her sexual trauma and how tantra

10:19

she used tantra to help heal

10:22

that trauma . And it was just

10:24

this beautiful story . And

10:26

after I watched that video I

10:28

was like I need to work with this woman , like

10:31

there's something here Like we all mean

10:34

sexual healing , and

10:36

I was super excited . And I found

10:38

out that she had passed away like

10:40

years before and

10:42

I was just , I

10:44

was crushed . I was like this was my

10:46

chance , like to , you know , work with somebody . And

10:49

she was a woman and I felt comfortable

10:51

with that . Especially , I had some sexual

10:53

trauma with a man

10:55

and I was just like I

10:57

want to work with a woman and

11:01

I got this clear message and

11:04

it was like it's your turn to

11:06

take on this , this role , and

11:09

help women

11:11

heal and men , and

11:13

men as well heal that part

11:15

of themselves . And at

11:17

the time I shut it down like I heard

11:20

the voice and I shut it down because I was not ready

11:22

for that .

11:24

Right , because you're still on your own journey

11:27

. And who are you to be the teacher when

11:29

you're still a student ?

11:31

Yeah , and I had

11:33

like I'd suppressed

11:35

my sexuality and there

11:37

was like a lot of shame and

11:39

judgment around talking about

11:41

the topic , you know , and being

11:43

a person , like a public

11:45

person that talked about

11:48

this and taught other people that , let

11:50

alone not having that

11:52

kind of fully healed yet , and

11:54

I was just like this is too much . Like

11:57

, what are you ? The first thing was like what are people going

11:59

to think of me ? And

12:01

I was just crying and crying and my husband

12:03

, remember , he was just like holding me and

12:05

he was so supportive

12:07

. He was like , if this is your truth

12:09

, it doesn't matter what they think . And

12:13

and I , I think I just I went

12:15

to bed after that and then kind of forgot

12:17

about it until

12:19

, um , I

12:21

went on a retreat , um

12:24

, and this retreat was a general

12:26

spiritual retreat and it was to heal

12:28

, a healing spiritual retreat , and

12:32

I didn't have the intention

12:34

to heal sexual wounds or

12:36

anything , but that's just what happened

12:38

. The kind of sexual trauma came

12:40

back up and this whole time in my life

12:42

I knew about it , but

12:45

I didn't . I didn't like

12:47

admit to it , but I didn't . I didn't like admit to it

12:49

. I didn't in my mind tell

12:51

myself it was real . Um

13:00

, until this retreat , I was like this happened to me , I know it and I claimed that and

13:02

I released it and it was like this opening

13:05

up in my body , um

13:07

, and my sexuality just felt like

13:10

liberated and free , um

13:13

, and it was the first time I felt

13:15

free within myself and

13:19

it was such a beautiful , beautiful moment

13:22

, um , and it was the first time I

13:24

had seen the goddess in myself

13:26

, like she came out . Yeah

13:28

, I just I felt so sexually liberated

13:31

, so so liberated in general

13:33

within myself , and

13:35

that was the feeling I decided

13:37

. I was like

13:39

this is what everybody

13:41

needs to feel , like this

13:43

freedom within ourselves , because

13:46

then we wouldn't

13:48

rely on these external sources to make us

13:50

feel happy

13:52

and fulfilled , because

13:54

it doesn't work anyways , right

13:57

, not for the long term yeah

14:00

yeah and I I find

14:02

that , um , I can totally relate to that feeling

14:04

of when you have a breakthrough

14:06

and you have a release and

14:08

you have this , I guess

14:10

, opening of new

14:13

possibilities .

14:15

It feels so good that

14:18

at least for me , like I'm a teacher at

14:20

heart , just always

14:23

knew that from a child , from when I was a child

14:25

, I wanted to teach . I

14:32

was a child , I wanted to teach , and so a part of me just wants to give that gift to everybody

14:34

else and anybody else who is suffering in some way similar

14:37

to me . I want to give them

14:39

that transformation too . So

14:41

I can understand how you would

14:43

go through that , that

14:46

healing , and just want

14:48

to help everyone

14:50

else heal .

14:52

And yeah , and then I went down like kind

14:54

of the medicine , the plant medicine

14:56

journey . I felt

14:59

the call to do ayahuasca . The

15:01

first night . I

15:03

ended up getting this message

15:05

that I was a goddess of pleasure

15:08

in like a past life and

15:10

it was really beautiful . Like there

15:13

were a bunch of people that came

15:15

to like basically heal

15:17

themselves sexually in what looked like

15:20

my palace , but then

15:22

there were people that I guess

15:24

were armed , that came and like burnt

15:26

down my palace and

15:28

so there was a fear there that

15:31

I had realized . There was

15:33

a fear of being in my pleasure because

15:35

I would hurt people

15:38

, it would destroy

15:41

my palace , it would hurt the people around

15:43

me that I really cared about . And

15:46

then I kind of

15:48

released that that

15:50

fear . Um

15:53

, in that first night and then the second night

15:55

I was like , okay , it was a

15:57

goddess of pleasure , like show me

15:59

what pleasure is . And

16:01

it was the best night of my entire

16:04

life , like my whole

16:06

entire body felt just so

16:09

incredible , so blissful

16:11

. It was the most blissful experience I've ever had

16:13

and I was connected

16:15

to you know , something bigger

16:18

than myself , like my higher self or God

16:20

. It was just so magical

16:22

, like every ounce of my body was just

16:24

um

16:26

, felt like ecstasy and I I

16:29

was dancing and I remember , before I got

16:31

up to dance , I remember asking

16:34

how do I , how can

16:36

I be in my pleasure in dance

16:38

while everybody else is clearly suffering

16:41

? And the message was

16:43

when you step into your pleasure , you

16:45

will heal their pain and

16:48

theirs was the people around me , but

16:50

also my ancestors and

16:53

it was this beautiful message of we

16:55

don't need to struggle , we don't

16:57

need to be in pain to heal other

16:59

people . You actually can't do

17:02

it that way , but by being light

17:05

pleasure you actually

17:07

give people permission and you heal

17:09

and dissolve kind of their own struggle

17:13

right , yeah , yeah

17:16

.

17:16

You have to be on the boat to throw

17:18

the buoy to help someone who's drowning . You

17:20

can't

17:22

be splashing around with them , you got

17:24

yeah , exactly

17:26

, exactly , um , yeah

17:29

.

17:29

And I think after that I was like oh

17:32

yeah , this one's really juicy , this

17:34

one's really juicy . So after ayahuasca

17:37

, which was like a November , it's like November

17:39

21 that

17:42

January I set

17:44

an intention for the month to

17:47

have a self-sufficiency practice

17:49

every single day of that month , and

17:52

it was also something

17:54

that I wouldn't allow myself to do , like

17:57

, or if I did , I would feel

17:59

really guilty about it , and I hadn't , in

18:01

my relationship , done that because I was

18:03

like well , you know , he's available

18:05

, like I don't need to do this . But

18:08

it was at that retreat that I was like no

18:11

, I get to do this . And

18:15

so in January I was like well , let's just experiment

18:17

with this . And so every day I was like have

18:20

some sort of self-pleasure practice

18:22

, even

18:24

if it's for a little bit . And

18:27

at this time I also learned

18:29

that the clit was basically

18:31

made to just have orgasms , like

18:34

the function of the clit is just

18:37

to receive .

18:38

Right , it's all about pleasure . When you think

18:40

about it that way , yeah , there's no other function

18:43

than

18:45

to just have pleasure .

18:47

Yes , and it's so beautiful and

18:50

that you

18:52

could have unlimited . Pretty

18:54

much women can have unlimited orgasms

18:56

, and I didn't really know this and

18:58

I didn't , you know . I think we have like one

19:00

and it's like okay , that's enough

19:02

, like that's , that's

19:05

good enough for me , right , just even have one sometimes

19:07

it's a miracle . But

19:09

I built on that and

19:11

I was like let me play with this , like let's see how many

19:14

I can get to . It wasn't like a competition

19:16

or anything , but I was just like doing

19:19

it from a place of curiosity and

19:21

I ultimately built it

19:23

up to a point where I was able

19:25

to have like 20 orgasms at least

19:28

, because I kind of lost count , but

19:30

I was able to get to 20

19:32

orgasms in a session and

19:34

in some of these sessions

19:37

it just like opened up this beautiful

19:39

portal and like

19:42

was so blissful and

19:44

like really felt like I connected to God

19:46

, like in those orgasms and

19:48

they like time stopped and

19:51

I was like whoa , there's

19:54

something deeper here , like this

19:56

connection with the divine , which actually

19:58

led me down the path of tantra , training

20:00

in tantra , so that

20:03

february I started training

20:05

um , doing like a tantra yoga

20:07

, training um remotely

20:10

, but they were based in India . And

20:13

then , a year after that training , I went

20:15

to India to study

20:17

from a different school just

20:19

to have my bases covered . It has

20:21

been a beautiful journey of allowing

20:23

myself permission to

20:25

go into the

20:28

pleasure , because that was

20:30

the first thing that was like really hard for me

20:32

I was denying my own pleasure

20:34

, right .

20:36

So let's define Tantra

20:39

, because I know years ago I took

20:41

a lot of Tantra training myself which

20:44

is like absolutely incredible

20:46

and life-changing . I looked

20:49

up the definition on Google or something

20:51

Tantra , pooja and

20:53

all the definitions I found out

20:55

there . I'm thinking that

20:58

does not resemble what I

21:00

have experienced with Tantra . I'm

21:02

sure some listeners are like what the hell is Tantra ? And

21:05

they're Googling it as we speak . So

21:07

what

21:09

does Tantra mean in your world ?

21:12

The high level definition is basically

21:14

that Tantra is a tool for expansion . That's

21:17

kind of the main

21:19

high level summary . There's different um

21:22

different paths of Tantra

21:24

Um , but that's kind

21:26

of the idea is it's

21:28

a tool for expansion . So

21:40

whether that is using mantras

21:42

, which are spoken syllables and languages

21:44

to connect with the divine

21:47

, or yantras , which are symbols for using sex

21:49

, or yoga or

21:54

yoga , it's one of the tools to connect with um

21:56

, liberation and freedom and expansion um in connecting with the divine

21:58

, and so that's kind of the gist of the high

22:01

level version um , but

22:03

there's there's different elements of it that

22:05

I personally kind of practice

22:08

and that is um

22:11

. Basically , tantra

22:14

is about presence . It's

22:18

being so present in

22:20

every situation that

22:22

you're in . So and creating

22:24

everything is treating , everything is sacred

22:26

. So if you think about sex

22:28

, it is being fully present

22:31

and experiencing the sacredness

22:33

of the act , whether it's

22:35

with yourself or with a partner or whatever

22:38

it is , and

22:40

it can be in cooking or even

22:42

cleaning , like everyday

22:45

things can be

22:47

beautiful . You don't

22:49

have to go to the Turks and Caicos because you could be

22:51

miserable there anyway .

22:53

Right yeah , there's a whole

22:55

buffet of bliss

22:57

inside your own home

22:59

.

23:00

you know I guess yes

23:02

, and it's actually realizing that first

23:04

, that you're able to experience

23:07

the world

23:10

through the lens

23:12

of . Let me experience

23:14

it , as it is not what I expect it to

23:16

give me or allow it to

23:18

feel oh

23:21

, I love that yeah

23:24

, so practicing presence has

23:26

been a huge one on this tonic

23:28

path . For me , um and

23:31

um . The other thing is

23:33

connecting with goddesses

23:35

is a big one in the divine feminine energy

23:37

. So that is

23:40

either channeling the goddesses , asking

23:42

for guidance , working with them , um

23:44

, in some capacity , and

23:47

allowing the divine feminine to

23:50

enter your life . So

23:52

that is a more flow , connecting

23:54

your body , um

23:56

, as the , the guidance for wisdom

23:59

, um and just

24:01

yeah , there's so much more more

24:03

there , but but generally speaking , um connecting

24:05

with the divine feminine , connecting with the divine

24:07

feminine .

24:09

Right , and so you've

24:11

mentioned the word goddesses . So

24:24

is that a specific religion or is it more down the spirituality path ? Because I can see , sometimes

24:26

when we throw out certain words , like when you throw out the word God , that

24:28

means so many different things to so many

24:30

different people , depending on whether they're

24:32

religious or not , and so

24:35

it's a loaded word and I can see

24:37

goddess for someone who

24:41

belongs to an orthodox religion

24:43

, then they would throw

24:45

out everything you're saying just because you use the

24:47

word goddess . So let's unpack

24:50

the

24:52

word goddess or goddesses so

24:54

that everyone because

24:57

I believe that everyone regardless of

24:59

their , their faith , their beliefs , spirituality

25:03

, religious , all that , um , that

25:05

they can benefit from from this information

25:07

.

25:08

Yes , absolutely so . There

25:10

are goddesses from different religions

25:12

. Like you know , hinduism , they practice

25:15

working with goddesses from um

25:17

, like the hindu goddesses . So

25:19

that's a big um those are

25:21

, that's big . In the tantric path

25:23

is working with those specific goddesses , like

25:26

khali , churgath , um

25:28

, satsavati , pravati

25:31

. There's a ton of goddesses with

25:33

different kind of shadow aspects

25:35

, with different gifts as well

25:37

. So there's that

25:40

. But there are also other goddesses

25:42

and Mary Magdalene and

25:45

Mary . You know those are some of

25:47

the goddesses in Christianity

25:49

. Mary Magdalene

25:51

has a different reputation of Christianity you

25:53

know Catholicism than this kind

25:55

of spiritual goddess kind

25:58

of world , if you will . But

26:01

yeah , it can be from myth or

26:03

like from stories from you know

26:05

ancient traditions as

26:08

well . I kind of work with all of them

26:10

, the ones that kind of resonate

26:12

at the time , depending

26:14

on my journey , depending on the day , and

26:18

I believe that we all have

26:20

a god goddess within us . We

26:24

are that . That's

26:26

in everybody . That's what I believe

26:28

.

26:29

Right , and isn and isn't it ? I mean even

26:31

pulling back even

26:33

further . Isn't

26:36

it really just a permission slip to

26:39

call upon some external

26:42

or internal source of

26:44

power and

26:46

some of for some of us who don't are

26:48

, don't have a high sense of

26:51

confidence or self-esteem

26:53

, self-worth then it's

26:55

easier to look outside of us for some

26:57

source of power . And

27:00

isn't that just a permission slip

27:02

to say , yeah , I'm

27:04

calling upon the power of this

27:07

thing that's going to help me

27:09

reach some

27:11

goal in my life or attain some

27:13

something that I want ? It's

27:15

just permission slip , I think . Call

27:17

it a goddess , call it God , call

27:20

it higher self , call

27:22

it whatever you want , call it aliens , I don't care

27:24

. It's whatever works for you

27:26

. It works . It's like a

27:28

placebo effect . It doesn't matter

27:30

really what it is , as

27:32

long as it aids you . It

27:35

how it's of service to

27:37

you . Big old permission slip

27:39

to go yep , you

27:41

deserve that . Yep , you can have that

27:43

. And here's the path

27:45

yes , I love that

27:47

.

27:48

I love that . You said that and and it really that's

27:50

it . It's however you

27:52

want to , however it feels called to work with

27:55

the divine . That's what I used

27:57

to call it . God , goddess , whatever

27:59

um it's

28:01

, however , it wants to show up for you now , however you feel

28:03

called . Yeah , and

28:06

, and I agree when , sometimes

28:09

, when we're starting this path , or maybe just

28:11

like starting to learn about the

28:13

goddesses , it's like it's

28:15

outside of us because

28:17

you know we don't

28:19

realize how much power we

28:22

have , how powerful we

28:24

are , um

28:36

, so seeing this gives you like that inspiration and um allows you that permission exactly

28:38

to step into that eventually . And now I step into it all the time and I know

28:40

that that's it's me and

28:43

I got to work with them

28:45

, but they're still in . That

28:48

makes sense yeah , absolutely

28:50

so .

28:52

what is that ? What does tantra actually look

28:54

like ? For those people who

28:56

don't know anything about tantra

28:58

and all I mean a

29:00

lot of people I find confuse

29:03

. Kamasutra and

29:05

tantra , like this , is all about sex

29:07

positions , and tantra is not

29:09

that at all . It can incorporate

29:11

sex , but , um , it's not about

29:14

, okay , how many different sex

29:16

positions we can get into . It's not

29:18

about that at all . So so

29:20

what's it ? Look , paint me a picture of what that looks

29:22

like and hold

29:24

on , I'm gonna take a bella break . Okay

29:27

, I think this is the first time

29:29

in the podcast we're taking a Bella break , so

29:31

I want to explain what this says . I

29:34

have a little goddess here and

29:36

she's called Bella and

29:38

she's a furry goddess . A

29:40

lot of people call her a cat and

29:44

she likes to be treated

29:46

like a goddess and have the door open

29:49

for her , even though she's got not

29:51

just a cat door , she's got a dog

29:53

door , like it's huge door

29:55

little flap that she's got to push with

29:57

her face . Sometimes she doesn't want to push it with

29:59

their face to get out , so I'm just

30:02

going to open my door to let this

30:04

goddess out . She

30:06

heard her name , there we go . She heard her name , there

30:11

we go .

30:13

I can sit .

30:13

I stressed about that , thinking

30:15

oh my goodness , how

30:20

am I going to deal with Bella when I'm doing a podcast interview

30:22

? Because sometimes , if I'm home , she has

30:24

to be let out with the door . If I'm

30:26

not home , she'll

30:29

use that flap all day long . Or if I'm sleeping in the middle of the night , she'll use the flap , but if I'm sitting right , she'll use that flap all day long . Or if I'm sleeping in the middle of the night , she'll use the flap

30:31

, but if I'm sitting right here , she's

30:34

like mama , come on , treat

30:36

me well , open that door for me . So

30:39

I thought no , let's just keep it real , let's just take a bella

30:41

break occasionally . That's

30:43

perfect . Okay

30:47

, so paint me a picture of

30:49

tantra . What's this look like ? What ? What are

30:51

two people engaging in tantra

30:53

do ? What's it look like ?

30:56

yeah , well , even before engaging

30:58

, you know somebody else , I'll take

31:00

a little step back from that um

31:03

. So for me , what that

31:05

looks like in my day is I

31:07

start the day basically

31:09

connecting with my

31:13

higher self . And how do

31:15

you do that ? I call in

31:17

basically my higher self , um

31:19

the divine , to guide me through the day

31:22

. I'm , throughout the day , I'm always like talking

31:24

to the divine um , manifesting

31:27

and asking for guidance

31:29

, being gratitude um

31:31

, and then I will usually

31:33

do meditation and then go

31:35

into yoga , tantra yoga , and

31:38

tantra yoga is like

31:40

it's . It's like yoga , except

31:43

you're holding the pose for like 15 minutes

31:45

each , so it's very

31:47

intense , um , there's a whole

31:49

practice within each

31:51

pose , but it's working with that

31:53

sacral well , not just the sacral energy

31:56

actually , um , but that's a big

31:58

one . For you know , working with sexual

32:00

energy is tuning into that sacral

32:02

energy , even breathing into it

32:04

, like when you're taking a deep breath

32:06

. Maybe you , you can do that right now . So

32:09

let's take a deep breath into

32:12

that sacral , so deep belly breath , deep

32:15

, deep belly breath , and

32:18

just feel that energy circulating

32:21

and bring

32:23

it up through the

32:25

chakras , up through the , the

32:27

crown , and you just like allow it to

32:29

circulate and energize you . Um

32:32

, because it's about waking , awakening

32:35

, kind of that , those energy , energy

32:37

fields , the chakras , and um

32:40

allowing your life force to circulate

32:42

, its energy , which is this flow

32:45

through our entire system , um

32:47

, which is connected , very much connected

32:49

to all the chakras . But the sacral

32:51

chakra is that sexual chakra

32:54

. So I'll usually do like

32:56

like one chakra

32:58

, um that I target where

33:00

, like I tune into my body , I'm like where is

33:03

it tight , where am I feeling tense

33:05

, and then I'll just I'll

33:07

kind of release that tension , so

33:09

so I'll use my , I'll tune into

33:11

my body and then

33:13

throughout the day , yeah , I'll just notice

33:16

, I'll just be super , ultra present . Sometimes

33:18

I'm not able to do this for every single

33:20

thing I do throughout the day

33:22

, but I try , when

33:25

I'm walking my dogs , really

33:28

tuning in to what

33:30

is happening around me and

33:32

within me . So that is connecting with

33:35

the trees and just feeling

33:37

how alive they are and tuning into the energy and

33:40

almost like receiving the energy from the trees

33:42

actually really energizes , because

33:45

nature can be very energizing . Um

33:48

, and then it's when

33:50

I'm cooking breakfast . I'll

33:53

just feel into how good that feels , how much

33:55

I'm nurturing the appreciation , gratitude

33:57

of how much I'm nurturing my body and

33:59

I'm very careful about sourcing good

34:02

ingredients from local farms

34:05

and things like that in California . I

34:07

moved here a little over a year ago from New York City so

34:09

I've been eating that all up , the

34:12

sourcing of the

34:14

local fresh ingredients

34:17

. It's been so good . It's

34:26

been so good , um , so relishing in that , like seeing where sometimes , seeing where , like the ingredients

34:28

are coming from , seeing the whole process of how it got to me , and just having

34:31

so much immense gratitude before

34:33

I put it into my body and I

34:36

try not to be distracted while it

34:38

eats as well so

34:40

like just enjoying every bite . Um

34:43

, so you can kind of pick and choose , like where you start

34:45

, right , working with

34:47

presence and treating whatever

34:50

it is as sacred . Um

34:52

, and by the time you get to the bedroom

34:54

like for me it's the evening

34:57

I , I like , I , like

34:59

you know , I don't know , it's

35:01

like like the sun is the masculine

35:03

energy , the moon is the feminine

35:06

energy , so I'm more likely to

35:08

feel , you know , in

35:10

my feminine or feminine

35:13

at night , and

35:15

so during that time

35:17

I'm more prepared and

35:20

more in that feminine energy and

35:25

it is just treating that whole act of secret .

35:27

And slowing down , yes

35:29

, and not trying to rush through

35:31

it or race towards a finish line

35:34

, but just slowing down and

35:36

kind of basking Right

35:38

. That's why I really wanted

35:41

you to be on the show , because our agendas

35:43

for the lack of a better word align

35:45

. That's what I teach women

35:47

all the time is slow

35:50

it down , just slow

35:52

everything down , don't do anything fast

35:54

, just really bask

35:56

in it , and that alone totally

35:59

starts to transform how two

36:02

people are relating to each other in the bedroom . You

36:05

know so that slowing

36:07

down is just

36:10

like , even when you're , when

36:12

you give your guy a kiss

36:15

in the morning or you know little peck before

36:17

he goes off to work Slow

36:19

it down , like make that kiss last

36:21

for seven seconds or something . What

36:24

would that do for someone's relationship

36:27

If every time they kiss their guy , they

36:30

made it a seven second kiss ? Ooh

36:33

, that I think that would ignite just a

36:35

little bit more passion and and

36:38

presence to that relationship

36:40

. Totally , totally

36:43

.

36:43

Yeah , yeah , and and

36:45

it's in those little , in those everyday

36:47

moments , that you , you can

36:49

practice that , that

36:52

ultra presence , because we're

36:54

so fast , we're so distracted , we're so we're

36:56

always doing multiple things at once , our minds

36:58

are like multiple

37:06

things at once , our minds are like spinning , spinning , and so the slowdown

37:08

is so critical , um yeah , and I have some tips as well to go into

37:10

when we're ready yeah , I would love to hear some tips yes

37:14

, so um , so

37:16

first um . For

37:18

me it's about setting that sacred space

37:20

, and that

37:22

can be with candles , with music , with you

37:25

know whatever makes you feel

37:27

into that energy . It could be lingerie

37:29

, it could be , you know whatever it is to

37:32

create that space

37:34

where you know you're not going to be interrupted

37:37

and you know close a door

37:39

and um

37:41

, create that sacredness

37:44

from the beginning in the space . Make sure it's

37:46

not messy , um and

37:48

cluttered , so that the energy

37:50

can like flow and

37:52

you want to also regulate your nervous

37:55

system as well

37:57

. So that is

37:59

, and it could be together .

38:01

It could be separately , but like breathing

38:03

, um , meditating , you

38:06

can do that together and you can really

38:09

just like make that

38:11

part of the , the

38:13

kind of foreplay , if you will

38:15

, right so when

38:17

you say , um , regulating the

38:19

nervous system , correct

38:22

me if I'm wrong , but are you talking about

38:24

, like , getting out of a place

38:26

of stress and hurry , and

38:29

you know , go , go , go . That's the

38:31

sympathetic nervous system , nervous

38:45

system where it's more relaxation . You know more , more of the relaxing hormones

38:47

are pumping through your veins , as opposed to adrenaline and cortisol , and you know , is

38:49

that what you're talking about ?

38:51

Yeah , exactly Because you know we're

38:53

most of the time , our nervous system

38:55

is generally go , go , go and

38:58

this is dropping , about dropping into

39:00

the body and going to

39:02

that relaxation , um , getting

39:05

out of the mind , trying to slow

39:07

that , that mind down

39:09

right , setting aside

39:11

the to-do list for a little while yes

39:14

, yeah . So I find

39:16

that , like just doing

39:18

deep breaths can help , even

39:21

if it's just deep breaths , um , whether

39:24

it's you or

39:27

doing it together and creating

39:29

that intimacy as well

39:31

before sex . So that

39:33

could be through kissing

39:36

first , just touching

39:39

, you know , the erogenous zones

39:41

, or um , eye

39:43

gazing is a big thing in tantra , and

39:45

looking into your partner's eyes and connecting

39:48

before anything happens

39:50

, um , your hand , the heart

39:52

, those are all things you can do to

39:54

build that intimacy before

39:56

you go into penetration . And

39:59

then one of my favorite

40:01

things to do honestly , like

40:03

I love this so much , is playing

40:06

the role of the goddess

40:08

. If you're female , if this

40:10

feels good , feeling like a goddess

40:12

, it doesn't have to be religious , it doesn't have to be any particular

40:15

goddess , it can be just you owning

40:17

that you're a goddess and

40:19

then your partner is god .

40:22

And if that is too much , just practice the goddess

40:24

thing right or

40:27

think , maybe think of it as like king and queen

40:29

.

40:30

True , yes , if that's , if that takes

40:32

it out of the religious realm , and yes

40:34

, yeah , and that

40:36

just takes it to

40:38

another level , when you were

40:40

imagining yourself in this , you

40:43

know elevated kind of optimal

40:46

version of yourself being

40:49

with your

40:51

partners yourself , or optimal

40:54

version , or , you know , king , whatever

40:56

it just it

40:59

just feels so juicy and

41:01

you feel so special

41:03

and so held

41:05

in secret .

41:08

Right , there's an element of honoring

41:10

honoring yourself Like I am a queen

41:13

, I am a goddess , I'm a I'm

41:15

freaking fantastic . So

41:18

honoring yourself and also honoring

41:20

your partner , treating him like the king

41:22

that he is yes

41:24

, god that he is , like there's this

41:26

, this self love

41:28

and love and honor towards

41:31

your partner , which I think just

41:33

those alone like treating

41:35

your partner like there's

41:38

someone to be respected and admired

41:41

and honored that alone

41:43

could move the needle in someone's relationship

41:45

instead of just someone , you can get something

41:47

from . I'm just going to get an orgasmic

41:49

release from this interaction with

41:52

you . That just totally

41:54

changes the vibe altogether

41:56

.

41:57

And then this is so we're still not going

41:59

into penetration yet . And then this is so we're

42:01

still not going into penetration yet . But one tip that I've played with that

42:03

has been so

42:06

magical and , oh

42:08

my gosh , it just makes

42:11

me want , it makes me

42:13

feel so ready . But this concept

42:15

that the goddess needs to beg

42:18

at least three times before she

42:20

is penetrated , she

42:26

has to want it so bad that she

42:28

cannot resist .

42:30

Oh my gosh , I

42:35

love this so much because it puts the foreplay or the outer

42:37

course I suppose inner course in

42:39

the forefront Like we could have a lot

42:42

of warming up , a lot of juiciness

42:44

, a lot of touching , a

42:46

lot of a lot , all the the

42:49

pre-penetration stuff before

42:52

penetration . Yes

42:55

, yes exactly .

42:56

That's awesome . I guess the

42:58

last couple of things is one is releasing

43:00

that expectation of orgasm

43:02

and just being present to

43:06

how good it feels in

43:08

any moment throughout . Because

43:11

if you have so much , um

43:14

, some of so much of your intention

43:16

on the orgasm , it

43:18

could not happen because you're

43:20

so focused on something else instead of being present

43:22

to what it feels

43:24

like right now , which can

43:26

feel so good . If you follow all of those steps

43:29

and even one of them , even if you take one

43:31

of these little tips , um , that

43:33

can make such a big difference . And

43:35

then the last one is

43:37

slowing down , like you said . So

43:39

if think slow , like

43:42

think slow and then go even

43:44

slower than you think

43:46

, because we're so conditioned

43:48

to think that sex is fast

43:50

and that's , you know , sometimes it feels good

43:53

but like , try going

43:55

slow , you know , try going slow and

43:57

then go slower and see how slow it can get . So you know , try to go

43:59

slow and then go slower and see how slow

44:01

it can get .

44:02

Right , Because we think when we go fast

44:05

that's more stimulation , Whereas

44:11

when you go slow that's not less stimulation . That can be more stimulating

44:14

and drool

44:17

worthy , you know like it's . I

44:20

did that a lot when I was seeing

44:23

male clients in my office . When

44:27

they're getting closer to an orgasm , I would

44:29

slow down . It would drive

44:31

them crazy , drive

44:33

them crazy , and so

44:36

, yeah , that

44:38

slow has been underestimated so

44:41

much . Fast and furious

44:44

is not really where it's at . I mean there's

44:46

a place for it , but oh , that's

44:48

like teeny tiny piece of

44:50

that pie , the bigger part

44:53

of the pie . Slow . Slow

44:56

equals moan . People Write that

44:58

down Slow equals

45:00

moan . He will moan

45:02

so much more when you go

45:04

slow and vice versa . And to train

45:07

your guy too , to train him . Oh

45:09

see how this feels really great when

45:11

we go super slow . Yeah , same

45:14

here . So you're kind of training

45:16

your guy to to

45:18

go slow with your body too and

45:20

take his time and that's going

45:22

to see how much you love it as

45:24

well .

45:26

And there is another thing that

45:28

came to mind , and that is they

45:31

say that men have a lot more fire

45:34

. Generally speaking , there's

45:36

more fire , energy in them , energy in them

45:38

, and so that means that

45:40

if they are the

45:42

ones exerting force , mostly

45:55

they will orgasm quickly , and so it's really beneficial , if you want to like

45:58

extend the session , to have the woman be on

46:00

top as a way to circumvent

46:03

that and kind of

46:05

not do all the work . But you

46:07

know , the the person on top is generally the

46:09

one that's um , has

46:12

more fire , and that

46:14

will help with slowing things down

46:16

and kind of elongating the

46:19

.

46:19

The Right , because

46:22

we don't always orgasm at the same time . Often

46:25

not always , but often , women we need

46:27

a little bit more warmup time before

46:30

we're going to have an orgasm , so

46:33

we need to slow that train down just a little

46:35

bit . Let us catch up . Exactly

46:39

, yeah , yeah , and that can

46:41

help .

46:45

I love that . Maybe you can have multiple orgasms after today's session , knowing that

46:47

it's possible . You

46:49

know Right . Yeah

46:51

so good , I

46:54

love this conversation . I can talk about it all the time oh

46:57

yes , yeah

46:59

, this is .

47:00

it's a juicy conversation that has

47:02

so many facets to it that

47:04

we could easily talk for hours and hours

47:06

. Are there any parting

47:09

thoughts that you want to leave the listener

47:11

with as

47:13

far as tips or things to

47:15

keep in mind ?

47:17

I think one thing I didn't cover was like the

47:19

energy component

47:21

, which I won't go into detail with . But

47:24

you know , there's this term called sex

47:26

magic and that

47:28

is Sorry . What was that ?

47:29

Sex Magic . Sex

47:32

magic . Oh , ok , do

47:34

tell , do expand on .

47:35

That won't

47:45

go into all the details , but the the idea is that you basically um use kind of your orgasm to manifest

47:47

faster . So

47:49

you kind of the idea is that you hold

47:51

the thought of what you're trying to manifest

47:54

um before you orgasm

47:56

and you then use

47:58

that energy as your orgasm to

48:00

basically send

48:03

the energy out there so

48:05

that manifestation

48:07

kind of comes to you . Remember

48:10

how we did spoon bending in the

48:12

business conference seminar ?

48:14

Yes .

48:15

Yes . So it's kind of like that You're working

48:17

that energy , that

48:25

energy it's so active and you can use that energy to kind

48:27

of send it to something that you're calling in much faster . Right then , just using

48:29

your mind , right , I

48:31

was able to bend the spoon with my sexual

48:33

energy , exerting and redirecting

48:36

the energy towards that physical spoon . I was

48:38

able to bend it .

48:39

So it's kind of like yeah

48:41

, so , so , um , and for the listeners

48:44

who don't know what we're talking about so

48:46

there was this exercise we went

48:48

through where we're holding a spoon and

48:51

, um , we're not trying to , you know , muscle

48:53

it and bend it , but we're just

48:55

trying to get the spoon to a state where it's

48:58

it feels like rubber , like it just

49:00

wants to bend on its own pretty

49:02

much , and doesn't take any brute

49:04

strength to do it , and it's

49:06

all just , you know , using

49:08

your mind and getting yourself into a certain

49:10

frequency state to get

49:13

the spoon to bend , and

49:15

it does . We

49:17

are more powerful than we think . It's

49:20

not just about muscle power that makes

49:22

things go , it's about

49:25

brain power too , and that's probably the most

49:27

effective way actually to do

49:29

things is to line up with the energy

49:31

of that thing that you want first

49:33

. You know it takes way

49:35

less effort to do that than to muscle

49:38

through it . So

49:40

that's what she's talking

49:43

about Linda's bending spoons with

49:45

her mind , like in the matrix . If you saw

49:47

the matrix and the , the , the little

49:49

kid sitting on the floor and holding the spoon by

49:51

the handle , and the head of the spoon just

49:53

like droops over , like it's melting

49:56

or something .

49:57

Yeah , Welcome to our world . World . There

50:01

are different techniques which I won't go into now , but

50:03

, um , you can just breathe into

50:06

that sacral , like we kind of did earlier

50:08

. Um , either

50:10

you know when you're orgasming you're already using

50:13

the energy in that area . Um

50:15

, but just in general , like you

50:17

can just breathe into that area and work

50:19

on energizing

50:21

it yourself before even

50:23

, you know , going into

50:26

using it for sex .

50:28

So yeah , the breath

50:30

is super powerful . It's underestimated

50:33

. But when you really consciously

50:35

breathe , gives

50:37

me shivers every time , like when we did the deep

50:39

breath down into the belly . Gives me

50:41

shivers every time , like when we did the deep breath

50:43

down into the belly I don't know if you saw I

50:45

was like going up . Oh yeah , it

50:47

um , every time I sit down to take

50:49

, take

50:54

deep breaths and just consciously breathe Cause we do it unconsciously all the time . Thank

50:56

goodness you know that we can breathe unconsciously

50:59

. But when we when I bring

51:01

my attention to it and really deliberately

51:03

breathe and follow the breath into my body

51:06

and feel it expanding my body

51:08

, oh , magical things happen . It's really

51:10

quite , quite cool

51:12

, just sensationally .

51:14

Oh , it's , it's divine , it's so delicious

51:16

, yeah we only spend a few seconds there

51:18

, you know , imagine going longer

51:21

, you know it might . You

51:23

might get an orgasm if you're an energetic

51:25

type Actually

51:34

like we all are kind of different in that way but breathing

51:36

into it for a long time can give you an orgasm

51:38

.

51:38

So , yeah , yeah , powerful stuff . It's

51:40

so good . Linda , you are blazing

51:43

a trail for people to

51:46

have incredible relationships and

51:48

a level of intimacy that people

51:50

outside of the world of Tantra cannot

51:53

even imagine , cannot

51:56

even imagine . Thank you

51:58

for being such a bright

52:00

light in this world doing this

52:02

work . It's just , it's so important

52:05

and just so delicious

52:08

and

52:10

life changing and heart opening . I love it so

52:12

much . Where can people go

52:14

to find out about your trainings

52:16

?

52:17

Get more of you . Get

52:24

more of you . I really appreciate you holding space for me , for me to tell my story and for giving these

52:26

tips , and hopefully people can just take this and apply it to their lives . But

52:29

if they want to work on

52:31

a deeper level , I do offer

52:33

currently offer a one-on-one coaching

52:36

. You can find me on my website

52:38

at tantricasoulcom

52:41

.

52:41

We'll definitely link it in the show notes , but I

52:43

yeah , I will spell it for people who are just listening

52:45

in their car or whatever Tantrica

52:47

, so T-A-N-T-R-I-K-A

52:51

soul S-O-U-L

52:54

. Tantricasoulcom

52:56

. Yeah , and I'm on

52:58

Instagram as well . Well , thank you so much

53:01

, Linda , for being on the show today

53:03

. Thank you so much for

53:05

having me .