S6 Episode 9: School is in: Learn from Other’s Relationship Mistakes and Failures

Episode Summary

Relationships can be tricky.  To make them work, you have to be willing to learn from past mistakes and missteps. We all slip up.  It’s what we do after the fact that can help improve the relationship. Use your own prior romantic blunders, as well as those of your partner, as sources of knowledge on what not to repeat.  Moreover, look to other people’s relationships to gain valuable insight about the strengths and weaknesses in your own partnership. 

No person or relationship is perfect or unique.  Do not fall into the trap of believing that there is no value in comparing your own relationship experiences with those of your family, friends, co-workers and neighbors.  Use your observations of others’ relationship pitfalls as an opportunity to open discussions with your partner about infidelity, boundaries, finances, communication styles and expectations.   

It is often easier to see problems with others’ behavior that you are blind to in your own life.  If you are open to seeing similarities between your relationship and those of people with issues in their relationship, it may end up saving you from a lot of heartache.

At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss how unfair it is to be the one who is always in charge of being the disciplinarian of children or pets. 

Show Notes

So many people miss out on the value of learning from another’s relationship mistakes. It’s important to reflect on your past relationships to move forward in a more productive way. But it’s also just as important to look to others and learn from the choices they’ve made—particularly the bad choices.

There’s so much valuable information you can glean and apply to your own life through the wisdom and experience of others. If you meet a person who hasn’t learned anything from their past relationship or from others, that’s a red flag. You can decide that your relationship is so unique so you can’t learn from others, but that’s a perspective that may come back to bite you.

The truth is that humans tend to behave in predictable patterns. Looking at and learning from your parents, siblings, friends, coworkers, and even celebrities can help you understand greater perspectives. You can use the outside examples within your own relationship and even communicate about how you might tackle similar circumstances together.

You and your relationship can benefit from another person's poor choices, but it doesn’t have to come from a place of judgment. Rather, you’re reflecting your relationship through another’s in an effort to make your relationship better. Other people’s mistakes can be preventative medicine for your romantic relationship.

In this episode, the vent session topic is: When a partner refuses to discipline the children or pet. When you’re the main enforcer, it can lead to tension in the household and between you and your partner. No one wants all of the responsibility of being the person who says no. The person who refuses to discipline is being immature.

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