0:00

Hey, it's Gregory Warner. This is

0:02

Rough Translation. I

0:04

used to love making New Year's resolutions.

0:07

As a kid, I was a terrible nerd about it. I'd

0:09

write them out. I'd even put them in

0:11

an envelope. I don't even

0:14

think I ever begged my parents to let me

0:16

stay up and watch fireworks, like my own kids

0:18

do now. I was just

0:20

too excited about waking up early on

0:22

January 1st to get started on

0:24

my list of goals. At

0:26

some point, I just dropped the

0:28

whole resolution tradition. Didn't do the list

0:30

at all. In part, I

0:32

think I just get tired of the sight

0:35

of so many abandoned goals. They haunted me

0:37

with their undoneness. And

0:39

so it was with some interest that

0:41

I came across a phrase recently in a science

0:43

journal, goal disengagement.

0:46

It's basically the opposite of setting new goals for

0:49

yourself for the future. Goal

0:51

disengagement is letting go of old

0:53

goals from the past that you

0:55

will no longer strive for. And

0:58

depressing as that may sound, these

1:01

researchers from NYU were making the

1:03

case that actually one

1:05

thing that can help you succeed in new goals, or at

1:07

least be happier and less stressed,

1:09

is to go through this process, letting go

1:12

of old goals that no longer serve

1:14

you. Saying, you know what?

1:16

This year, I'm not going to try

1:18

to learn that new language. I am not

1:21

going to go low carb, or letting

1:23

go of bigger things as well. When

1:26

I asked subscribers on my sub-stack, what

1:28

have you had to let go of? Yeah,

1:31

I mean, not completely sure

1:33

what I'm doing, but a

1:35

few brave people responded. Because it's not

1:37

easy in a culture that reveres success

1:40

and achievement to talk about

1:42

the ambitions you've abandoned. I guess

1:44

I'm doing this, okay. So for

1:46

many, many years, I wanted to

1:49

become a professor. Or the

1:51

dreams you've had to discard. I

1:53

had a vision of what married life

1:56

would be, and it didn't

1:58

turn out to be that way. The I had to.

2:00

But in all your stories, you did make

2:03

clear what letting go of old goals has

2:05

made possible for you. Now I think I've

2:07

realized that I. I wanted

2:09

to become professor for many years

2:11

to kind of feel security. I

2:13

worked as a school crossing good.

2:16

Which. Was something I never do. It says

2:18

the courage to do. It

2:21

has to be computed the neighbors it. So.

2:25

I have to say I am grateful. So.

2:28

For this end of year message from

2:30

rough translation. At the close

2:32

of a year that as scrambled ambitions for

2:34

so many of us. I

2:36

switched to pull out for you

2:38

three stories from our archives that

2:41

I've found myself listening back to

2:43

stories that really do fit this

2:45

theme of the curious power of

2:47

letting go. And if you're a

2:49

listener who's just discovered this podcast

2:51

even though Mtr has ended despite

2:53

guess going forward, I hope these

2:56

stories might be a gateway for

2:58

you to enjoy our archives of

3:00

timeless narrative stories. One of the

3:02

stories I chose is about admitting

3:04

failure in public and this group.

3:06

That hold these failures. Storytelling nights

3:08

out with have failure is a

3:11

four letter word. Another story chose

3:13

is about learning from failure on

3:15

the battlefield. I used to live

3:18

in Afghanistan, work in Afghanistan. Report

3:20

Afghanistan. I've never heard a story

3:22

like this one about barely missed

3:25

opportunity to an incredible resilience after

3:27

a disaster that was Cold War

3:29

poems. And then finally

3:31

and old San favorite about a

3:33

woman who asked to let go

3:36

of her shame around surrogacy in

3:38

order to grow a new international

3:40

family. Now it's called American Surrogate.

3:43

He. defied all those links below and

3:45

show notes and a link to this

3:47

study a reference about gold disengagement and

3:50

for new stuff brand new stuff you

3:52

on here news stories from me check

3:54

out my subs deck newsletter of the

3:57

sending you interviews as well as audio

3:59

stories I have a brand new,

4:01

very personal story about letting go that

4:04

just won a jury prize. Hope you'll check that one out.

4:06

And I'll also be giving you lots of chances to

4:08

share your own stories, just like

4:11

the brave folks you heard from earlier who

4:13

shared their stories about letting go. And

4:16

of course, the sub snack is the

4:18

best way to keep track of what

4:20

happens, whatever 2024 brings for me, for

4:24

listeners who love rough translation, I

4:26

will be letting you know. So

4:28

you can subscribe for free at

4:30

GregoryWarner.substack.com.