A NEW INTRO! (it's particularly apropos for this immature shitshow)

Primum Dimidium:

• PRATT AUDIO did not work. SADS -
• But go buy a chance to visit the set and be Chris Pratt's bestie and support The Brain Treatment Foundation - A GREAT VETERANS CAUSE.
• LINK FOR PRATT CONTEST GOFUNDME: gfme.co/tomorrowwar

Good headlines, but with some confusion (the next 3 weren't actually the next 3).

Dimidium Alterum:

• Romantic Mix-ups (is there a side piece?)
• Could a new co-host be in the works to replace Chris's lazy ass?
• It's a Chief Fluffernutter Christmas!
• International chickens
• Fallout '20
• Seriousness ensues
• Military base shootings
• Exasperation
• An unexpected announcement and a spat
• COOP DOG (we love you, man!)
• Disagreements
• Excuses is all I hear
• Coast-to-coast & around the world
• Geographical fail
• Pissing off the Irish

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