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From the Kiss 92.5 Studios in

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Toronto, Canada Are you ready?

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Ladies and gentlemen This is Roz

0:07

and Moka It's Roz and Moka,

0:09

what's going on? Hey guys, this is Bruno Mars This

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is Selena Gomez The Chainsmokers Lady Gaga

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Calvin Harris This is Ed Sheer You're listening to my

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boys Roz and Moka Roz and Moka My boys Roz

0:18

and Moka The Roz and Moka Show Between

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Roz and Moka, who is your favorite? Roz

0:24

and Moka Roz and Moka You guys are

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so funny man Congratulations Lisa! Wow Wow!

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You just won $1,000 That is amazing Y'all

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just made my entire morning Keep it up You guys

0:35

are awesome man This is the Roz and Moka Show

0:37

Podcast This is the Roz and Moka Show Podcast Roz

0:39

and Moka Roz and Moka Roz

0:42

and Moka Roz and Moka Fix my life What

0:44

advice can you guys give me? Okay, so my

0:46

question is My question is Got a problem you can't fix

0:48

Roz and Moka got you Hey Sean, how

0:50

you doing? It's Roz and Moka I'm good thanks,

0:53

how you guys? Good, uh, FML time, why are

0:55

you here? Uh, well, I have a question How

0:57

do I have a question? How do I have

0:59

a question? How do I handle my brother-in-law's lack

1:02

of cleanliness after his family stayed over? Oh, wow

1:04

Your brother-in-law's lack of cleanliness after the family stayed

1:06

over So, uh, you wrote us this Hey

1:09

Roz and Moka Fix my life My

1:11

brother-in-law Along with his family and two

1:13

young children visited us recently to celebrate

1:15

my mother-in-law's 70th birthday Given their tight

1:17

budget They asked if they could stay

1:19

in our basement Which we agreed

1:21

to without hesitation However, upon

1:23

their departure My brother-in-law confessed

1:25

that one of their children

1:27

had soiled the bathroom and

1:29

they didn't clean it up

1:31

properly This left me quite

1:34

annoyed as I had expected them to

1:36

leave the basement as they found it

1:38

Despite my attempts to discuss the issue

1:40

with him He has been avoiding my

1:42

calls and texts I'm now seeking advice

1:44

on how to approach the situation with

1:46

my brother-in-law in a constructive manner to

1:48

prevent similar incidents in the future So

1:51

when you say soiled the bathroom Thank you For

1:54

what you said Are we talking Because

1:56

you said They attempted to clean it up

1:58

And they didn't So what exactly happened? Yeah,

2:01

so I'm trying to get answers on that.

2:04

I didn't really get any answers. From

2:06

what I can tell is they

2:09

just used a bath towel

2:11

to just wipe the surface

2:13

down. They didn't use

2:15

disinfectant or anything and it just,

2:19

they just didn't do a good job and it

2:21

looked terrible. So it's surface as in what? Surface

2:23

of the toilet? Surface of the floor? Surface of

2:25

the counter? What happened in the bathroom? It looks

2:27

like there may have been some diarrhea from the

2:29

kid, from his young child. So

2:32

a diarrhea all over the place? Yeah, pretty

2:34

much. And he just used a towel and

2:36

he didn't ask me for any cleaning supplies

2:38

and I had cleaning supplies so we could

2:41

have handled it properly but

2:43

he didn't and he refuses to talk about

2:45

it. So I

2:47

really don't know what exactly happened apart

2:50

from that. Did

2:52

he use like one of your bath towels?

2:55

Yeah. What did

2:57

he do with the towel afterwards? Well when

2:59

he was leaving, because I was away, I

3:02

had an appointment but he told my wife

3:04

that he used a towel to clean up

3:06

and that she should just throw in the

3:08

washing machine which is what she did. And

3:11

so when I came home she told me this

3:13

story. Oh yeah. And I

3:15

went into the basement bathroom to see

3:17

what was up and I see

3:20

a huge mess. Did your

3:22

wife talk to her brother about all

3:24

of this? No, no she didn't.

3:26

What's her opinion? She said this is your problem.

3:28

She finds it a bit amusing but she wants

3:30

to stay out of it. Why is it your

3:33

problem? Why is this your problem? I

3:36

don't know. There's like sensitivity

3:38

on her side, the family, you

3:40

know, they get into arguments fairly

3:43

often. They love each other and all but you

3:45

know. Okay so

3:47

the question is how

3:50

does this end for you? I'm

3:52

not saying you do get a hold of the

3:54

brother-in-law and you say what? Like what

3:56

makes this right in your eyes? Well

3:58

just an acknowledgement. that he

4:00

didn't do a great job and

4:03

that perhaps he should have just

4:05

asked me for some cleaning supplies.

4:07

So he knows all this, right?

4:09

Yeah. He knows, he

4:12

said that they didn't do a great

4:14

job cleaning it up, right? So

4:16

you're trying to get a hold of him to tell

4:19

him something he already knows in

4:21

order to then get some sort of apology

4:23

that we both know is not going to

4:26

be enough. Well, I mean, an apology might

4:28

be enough because right now I'm a

4:30

bit petty. I'm a bit upset. I'm

4:32

thinking I'll go over to his place

4:34

and sort his place next time, you

4:36

know, unless I get an apology. Is

4:39

there a chance that maybe your brother-in-law

4:41

knows what he did was wrong, handled

4:44

the situation incorrectly and is

4:47

like embarrassed? You know, now that

4:49

you mention it probably. Yeah. And

4:51

that's why he's avoiding you. That's why he doesn't want

4:53

to have the conversation because he knows exactly what went

4:55

down. And in the moment he was embarrassed. He panicked.

4:58

He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how

5:00

to approach you. And he did his

5:02

best to clean up. And then just to

5:04

get the hell out of your house because he was

5:06

really, really embarrassed and didn't want to have that conversation.

5:10

Yeah, I think you're right. I think

5:12

that's probably what happens. I think if

5:14

you're embarrassed, though, I think that's when

5:16

you do apologize. You know, I went

5:18

when he told you guys, like,

5:21

you weren't there when he said that,

5:23

you know, the kid diarrhea, the bathroom

5:26

and they used a bath towel to clean it up,

5:28

but not very well. You didn't

5:30

hear that part, right? That's correct. So you

5:32

are only getting your wife's version

5:34

of what was said, correct? Yes.

5:38

Okay. So you don't know if he seemed

5:40

sorry? Yes. Right.

5:43

Which he probably was. True.

5:45

Yeah. I think what Sean wants, Sean, I think you

5:48

just want to hear it for yourself, right?

5:50

You want to hear the story from him

5:52

and the explanation. I don't know. I

5:54

think my opinion on this. I think that the guy is embarrassed

5:56

and he doesn't want to face having

5:58

that embarrassing conversation. It was a kid

6:00

though right now. I know like and and I think

6:03

I'm guessing he's just crap at stuff You

6:05

know like that he he's maybe he and

6:07

he'll find and he thinks he did he

6:10

did a decent job, right? And

6:12

in your mind he didn't you know his mind He

6:14

cleaned it all up with the towel and said hey

6:16

you might want to throw that towel in the laundry

6:18

and to him It's over right But

6:21

you know he you're now hounding him for something that

6:23

he may feel he already apologized for and you just want

6:25

to make a big Deal out of it. He doesn't

6:27

want to deal with you. Yeah, right I

6:29

would just I would just say that you gotta leave

6:32

it alone You leave it alone and the only way

6:34

this this comes back up again is the next time

6:36

they asked to stay over in the basement You say

6:38

no Yeah, that's what I'm

6:40

thinking right and that's gonna create some more

6:42

family problem Then I'm gonna be the bad

6:44

guy deal with it then yeah, I think

6:47

I think that this you just got to

6:49

drop it Yeah, okay. You're not no pun intended.

6:51

You're not gonna get the you're not gonna get the

6:53

closure you're hoping for Yeah, I

6:55

guys all right. Yeah, well. It's not

6:57

there. It's not there. It would have

6:59

happened already true Yeah, sorry

7:01

John all right. I'll have to drop

7:03

it. Yeah, thanks guys. Yeah crappy situation,

7:05

huh? There's

7:08

a bit of a crappy situation to be Hi,

7:11

I love you, bro. Have a great day. Just love

7:13

you guys It's

7:25

my life what advice can you guys give me

7:27

okay, so my question is my question is

7:29

got a problem you can't fix Yo

7:33

Andrew, how are you? It's Ron's Amoka not too

7:35

bad I'm stuck in

7:37

a career rut while trying to pursue the

7:39

dream of being a cop Andrew

7:41

You wrote says hey, Ron's Amoka fix my life I'm

7:44

33 years old engaged with one child

7:46

and another one on the way But I

7:48

feel like I haven't achieved my goal of

7:50

becoming a cop despite Going to

7:52

school for it and working in security

7:54

roles I failed several tests and have

7:57

a shoulder injury affecting my fitness testing

8:00

feel defeated and wonder if you have

8:02

any advice. Is there a

8:04

chance for you to still be able to

8:06

get a job as a cop, like despite

8:08

all that stuff? I could. The

8:10

issue that I'm running into is I'm still waiting on

8:12

an MRI for my shoulder, but I actually

8:15

injured working at a previous job.

8:18

So I'm still waiting on that. So that's actually

8:20

hindering any type of fitness I can do to

8:22

prepare for the fitness stuff

8:24

that they have and they require you

8:26

to do before you can even apply. So is

8:28

it the fitness stuff that is holding you back?

8:31

As you said, you failed the test several, several

8:33

times. Is it only based on

8:35

the physicality? No, so there's actually a written test that

8:38

you have to do as well. And

8:40

it's actually a very tough test that

8:42

you have to write. And I

8:44

failed it just barely by a

8:46

couple of marks a couple of times. And

8:48

it's kind of just put me in a feeling

8:50

defeated. Why'd you fail? I

8:53

failed due to just a couple of small questions

8:58

that actually really turned into a big question. Why did

9:00

you fail? Why did you fail? Like

9:02

can you study for, okay, can you study for a

9:04

test like this or no? Depends

9:06

on the test. I know with the provincial

9:09

police and stuff like that, you can't, but

9:11

the RCMP, they have like a book you

9:13

can read. So the one that

9:15

you did is what? The one that you

9:17

can do the RCMP. Okay, so

9:20

you failed because you like didn't study hard

9:22

enough, you felt you could do better? I

9:24

feel like I could have done better, yeah.

9:26

Okay, so you know what went wrong then?

9:28

Yeah, definitely. I definitely know. I

9:31

could have studied harder, but the problem is when I

9:33

go to write these tests, I

9:35

actually go, my mind goes blank. So I tend

9:37

to forget like a lot of the answers. Some

9:40

of the questions, like a lot of the

9:43

questions aren't actually based

9:45

on the book. So you have to, you know.

9:47

But you have to understand that people do pass this test.

9:50

And the majority of people, I would say in

9:52

the world, In the communities that

9:55

you would be working for, I Would want every police

9:57

officer to ever put on that uniform, the badge and

9:59

the gun. Gun I want everybody to a

10:01

set test. That. I

10:03

don't want people to squeak by. though

10:05

I'd as later at Bryant one of the last time you

10:07

to protest. Was both

10:10

two years ago and since then had you

10:12

been studying or and I'm going out on

10:14

studying off and on and the past two

10:16

years ago so was a what do you

10:19

think is holding you back? then I they

10:21

finally live. Like

10:23

I. Guess I would say like you

10:25

know having a child on the way of

10:28

that is kind of. Personally back a little

10:30

bit is is there any hesitation on becoming

10:32

a cop Now the get into kids a

10:34

little they have. Yeah, I wonder. I wonder

10:37

that has something to do with and I

10:39

wonder if the realities of being a police

10:41

officers have sort of like crept in and

10:44

started across the dream of becoming a police

10:46

officer. Once you know what's being a cop

10:48

is all about, you know it. So it's

10:50

not an easy life. When. You

10:52

know, when you get kids, when you got

10:55

responsibility and a lot of people do it

10:57

and a lot of people make it work.

10:59

but it's certainly not for everybody. And and

11:01

if you're getting to the point right now

11:03

where he may be, you don't think that

11:06

this is for you, but you're still holding

11:08

on to it because it's difficult to let

11:10

go of a dream and start building new

11:12

dreams without feeling like a failure. that you

11:14

may wind up going into something that you

11:16

actually at this point your life don't wanna

11:19

be. In Deaths and ah

11:21

Select. So I think that that's where you

11:23

need to starts. Before you think about your

11:25

shoulder or these tests are studying or not

11:27

studying and he did. You need to sit

11:29

down with your with your girl and size.

11:31

Think about the family and I. I I

11:33

think that this is maybe why those decisions

11:36

that you may need smell making Iii to

11:38

raise always like the option to divert as

11:40

like a correctional officers are sure to do.

11:42

That may the odds are that. So many

11:44

different avenues. Yep you can in and around

11:46

the right. But don't hang on to this

11:48

dream of yours because if you. Let it

11:50

go. You can wind up feeling like a

11:52

failure. Don't don't don't attack in India. had

11:54

no doesn't Led lighting. You can pivot, You

11:56

can start over. So. good they

11:59

are that Does that help

12:01

Andrew? It definitely helps a little bit.

12:03

I'll definitely sit down and have a conversation with

12:05

the wife and see what her thoughts are on

12:07

it as well. Yeah, definitely appreciate the advice. Do

12:09

you call her the wife when other people are

12:11

in the room too? Is she cool with that?

12:14

I do once in a while. Some guys can do

12:17

that, you know? Like it's fine, right? I could never.

12:19

You could never? No. No?

12:22

You don't know. My wife? No.

12:26

Well, that's a good thing you're trained. Not

12:28

you, I mean him in self-defense. I

12:34

don't mean you. All the best

12:36

Andrew. All right, thanks, guys. Roz and Mokas, fix my

12:38

life. On hit. Roz and Mokas, fix my life.

12:41

Update. Hello, Tony. Welcome

12:47

back to the Roz and Mokas show, Fix My Life. Last

12:53

time we talked to you was back in August. Yeah,

12:56

hi, how's it going? Good. Tony,

12:58

just to remind everybody what your situation was last

13:01

time, you said meeting new people,

13:03

especially girls, is tough in today's society. Working

13:06

from home limits me on dating apps like

13:08

Tinder, which haven't worked. Initiating

13:11

contact as a guy is

13:13

pressurizing, though practice helps. It's

13:16

a lot of effort. There's no guaranteed place

13:18

to meet women. It's unpredictable lately.

13:21

You wanted a relationship, but the dating

13:23

scene is harder than expected despite exchanging

13:26

contacts with some girls that

13:29

you had met recently. And I think that

13:31

what did we discuss with you at that

13:33

time? Do you remember what the advice was?

13:35

Well, your advice was just don't treat it

13:38

like a game. Try and have a personal

13:40

connection with someone And that kind

13:42

of stuff. But I Did not take

13:44

your advice unfortunately. Oh, because we run

13:47

into guys like you all the time

13:49

where dating is something that they feel

13:51

that they need to win because these

13:53

apps like Tinder and everything else, it's

13:55

you play. Tinder And it's not about

13:58

building a connection. You

14:00

know winning a game and you really had

14:02

that attitude. So did you take our advice?

14:04

Know you didn't right now because wonder if

14:07

things aren't As I said was like maybe

14:09

join a club or German like that at

14:11

and meet people who have like climb and

14:13

interests right? So you didn't lawyer you didn't

14:16

do that. not I During this way of

14:18

saying I joined a gym. okay geico what

14:20

happened and then after during the gym there's

14:23

is really beautiful woman I met. Third talk

14:25

you notice cookies only? Yeah mm some time

14:27

couple of weeks or by midnight. slight. Added.

14:30

Or on this are going to the posts on

14:32

the gym teacher and then I started shooting Eric

14:34

Zoc like a game and Mitch Mcconnell ceases or

14:36

and genuine anymore And men where were we So

14:38

what did you say to wear? what is your

14:40

what to do? what you mean and we have

14:42

face to face conversations. are you to see? been

14:44

in the Dmg are no noise I just uttered

14:46

was informed me box but like all of saw

14:48

each other at the gym or cheesy couple of

14:50

times a week gray eyes she knew that you

14:52

are now following her on Instagram. I don't know

14:54

she knew but I didn't bring it up. Okay

14:56

okay with my liking her posts. all right if

14:58

you worldly arctic So I did not contact. Her

15:00

at all on Instagram okay and then

15:02

about a month went by and them

15:04

I just saw yacht it's a rabbit

15:06

guys talk to which piss me off

15:08

on their side aka Spob Cr started

15:10

liking a bunch of her photos on

15:13

them for Friday to Sunday. She.

15:15

Blocked me on Sunday After liked of

15:17

or comment I wrote the connor was

15:19

attend member would have either step on

15:21

near I love you I don't know

15:23

it's only one my comrades holiday season

15:25

last me but I was getting a

15:27

guy should have been a no. Go

15:30

the talk to the gonna. mess

15:32

of her account us maria us is

15:34

say if he does wow what's on

15:36

your business to see bougie as it

15:38

doesn't add know i know by now

15:40

but i didn't know that but when

15:42

i just thought i took the maybe

15:45

that there have been around halloween yeah

15:47

ok cool of social thing so you

15:49

would have been in go on a

15:51

lighting spree on this woman's on instagram

15:53

eyes and then you start liking inappropriate

15:55

comments see blocks you now or do

15:57

you still see her at the gym

15:59

after So here here's where it gets that

16:01

you'll love this. So okay. I'm standing my mom business

16:03

at the gym. I'm done with her I don't want

16:06

to even see her she walks right in

16:08

front of me and then she said good morning to me I

16:10

was like seriously, you're gonna do that. So

16:12

I said a good morning to her and I saw nothing of it here

16:15

and there I'll see her and then slowly

16:17

start talking to her a bit again Not

16:19

that much and at this point I

16:21

went from like I just want to hook up to her So

16:23

I started having feelings for her so then

16:25

New Year's came around and then I apologized to her

16:27

And she says she was down to stir fresh another

16:30

month went by and then just

16:32

see no conversations were moving, right?

16:35

So I figure why should I keep wasting my time? Why should

16:37

I suffer? So nice after all

16:39

for coffee and then she got she didn't

16:42

take it the right way Just said

16:44

leave me alone So

16:47

so I told her have a nice life. It's us

16:49

cuz I messed things up Mostly

16:51

right cuz I'm the one asking

16:53

to be in her life not the way around and you still

16:55

see her at the gym then We

16:58

do we continue the story cuz I yeah after

17:00

that after she said no Yeah,

17:02

and then and then she went and told the

17:04

gym owner and got kicked out. Oh,

17:07

no What did they say to the

17:09

gym owner though? Jim owner? Yeah, and I just talked back

17:11

to him and then we got an argument So why'd you

17:13

talk back to him? What did he say? He just Annoyed

17:17

with him like he wasn't seeing

17:19

her side, but like I just it

17:21

just escalated What did she say to him in

17:23

order for him to bring it up with you

17:25

to have that conversation? I took

17:27

it too far by asking her out to coffee,

17:30

I guess. Okay. Okay, Tony. How old

17:32

are you? 32

17:35

32 Tony. I think that you are at a point

17:37

in your life right now where it's quite dangerous and

17:40

I Seriously

17:43

think that you need to go and talk to a professional.

17:45

Oh Really? Oh, yeah.

17:48

I don't know. Oh, yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. Yeah,

17:50

you do Just going through some

17:52

of the things that you said like you were

17:54

bro As soon as you said that this is

17:57

a woman that you had absolutely no relationship with

17:59

right But when you turn

18:01

around and say things like, I'm done

18:03

with her, there was nothing. Uh-huh. Yeah,

18:05

but I was getting feelings for her,

18:07

right? Or even getting mad that she

18:09

went and followed some next dude. But

18:12

dude, what were your feelings when you

18:14

said that you caught feelings for this

18:16

woman? What were those based on? Well,

18:18

it's something that you had created in

18:20

your head that

18:24

was not even close to being

18:26

reality. You're falling

18:28

down a hole, man. Yeah,

18:31

you got it. No, no, no.

18:33

Don't apologize to us. But you

18:36

need to take some control in your life. And

18:38

one of the things is that you have

18:41

to go and lay out all of this

18:43

in front of somebody who can really legitimately

18:45

help you. Because this is a alarming. Your

18:50

behavior is alarming. There's

18:53

a way out of it for you. There's a way out of

18:55

it for you. But you've got to figure this out. All

18:57

right, thanks, guys. Have a good morning. And

19:00

neither is my favorite, just to let you

19:02

know. Oh, wow. I like you both equally.

19:05

Oh, oh, good, good. Better than the other

19:07

way. All right, I know.

19:09

Great thing. Roz and Moka fixed my

19:11

life. What advice can you guys give

19:13

me? OK, so my question is, my

19:15

question is, got a problem you can't fix.

19:17

Roz and Moka got you. Hi, Ashley, it's Roz

19:19

and Moka. Hi, how are you? Good, how are

19:21

you? Oh, I'm OK. Are

19:24

you, though? Why are you here? Why are you on

19:26

FML? How do I talk to my kids

19:28

about family issues? You wrote us this.

19:30

Hey, Roz and Moka fixed my life.

19:32

My mom has struggled with extreme mental

19:35

health, borderline personality disorder, since I was

19:37

a child. She has been abusive, and

19:39

it has affected me deeply in my

19:41

adult life. I constantly keep a relationship

19:43

with her and do my best to

19:45

stay in her life when she lets

19:47

me. She goes through spurts where she

19:49

doesn't talk to me for months on

19:51

end. Now I have two young children.

19:53

They're starting to ask questions, like where

19:55

is she? When she

19:57

is involved in their life, it

19:59

is. full on and then goes no contact

20:01

for months on end, which I then have

20:04

to explain to my toddler. I need advice

20:06

on how to navigate this. How old are

20:08

your kids? So my daughter is three

20:10

and my youngest is eight months. So

20:12

she's not necessarily the issue. So you're

20:14

getting all the questions from the three

20:16

year old. Yes. Now, when

20:18

you say that your mom, like when

20:20

she is involved, she's full on, like

20:23

how, what's the time span that she's

20:25

like fully, fully into it, being a

20:27

grandma, you know, being a mom to

20:29

you, like what's that time span? So

20:32

it varies for sure. There's

20:35

times in a year that's really difficult for her

20:37

as far as like holidays and stuff.

20:39

So Christmas time, she completely excommunicated me

20:41

and I haven't heard from her since,

20:43

you know, two weeks before Christmas. So,

20:45

you know, it's kind of ebbs and

20:47

flows, but I would say like, you

20:50

know, on a good span, like

20:53

three months is really good. Contact seeing

20:55

her twice a week, her being extremely

20:57

involved, and then just ghosted.

20:59

I would say that the most important

21:01

thing when talking to a kid about

21:04

like an older family members,

21:07

sort of health or whatever issues they're

21:09

going for is you want, you have

21:11

to sort of be honest, but you

21:13

have to be age appropriate. Right.

21:16

Right? You cannot start, you cannot

21:18

try to explain to a kid something

21:21

that is going on with their grandparent

21:24

in ways that they don't

21:27

understand. So she knows

21:29

what somebody, she knows when somebody's sick

21:31

because she gets sick. And

21:33

that is often a good place to start.

21:35

When you start getting into having to explain

21:40

what mental health is and what

21:42

the issues are and why

21:45

she's not calling or any of this stuff, that

21:47

is all new information to the three year old.

21:50

And it's not information that she's gonna be able

21:52

to process. So if you're

21:55

going to sort of try and explain something, you

21:57

have to explain it in the way that the

21:59

kid is gonna understand. Then when

22:01

they get older, you give them a little bit

22:03

more. When they get older, you give them a

22:05

little bit more. But you can't overwhelm or confuse

22:07

the kid or say everything

22:09

right now. The kid is three. You really

22:11

shouldn't have to say much other than she's

22:13

busy. Yeah, what do you say right now?

22:15

Really what I say right now is she's

22:17

a big fan of the Grinch, my three

22:19

year old. So I relate it to

22:21

the Grinch that the Grinch needs a lot of time

22:24

alone and you know how he doesn't really like to

22:26

see a lot of other people. Like that's how kind

22:28

of like grandma gets and she needs some time alone.

22:31

But she sees how it affects me because I'm

22:33

not the best at hiding my emotions.

22:36

So you know, she sees it all over my

22:38

face when she asks questions daily. Don't talk to

22:40

your three year old about your relationship with your

22:43

mother. Right. Yeah. I

22:45

don't know, like I think maybe, do

22:47

you have like, do you have a partner? I

22:50

do, yeah, I do. Okay, save

22:52

those conversations for them. And even

22:54

that Grinch analogy, I

22:56

think that that's probably, not probably,

22:58

I think that that's the wrong

23:00

avenue to take as well because

23:02

it's still putting a negative on

23:05

the situation. When you think about

23:07

who the Grinch is and like the

23:09

origin story and everything, right? Yeah. And

23:12

especially with a three year old, right?

23:14

And because you never know, like if

23:16

that relationship flourishes and becomes better between

23:18

your daughter and your mom, you

23:21

just don't want that negative connotation

23:23

of the relation, the negative relation

23:26

between you saying grandma's

23:28

like the Grinch. Makes sense. It's

23:30

just, I also am struggling with, should

23:33

I just maybe cut her

23:35

out completely out of their lives, not

23:38

mine, but out of their lives until

23:40

they're old enough to kind of

23:43

understand what manipulation she puts everyone

23:46

through. That's another issue. Protecting

23:48

your kids from something that you had to go through,

23:50

I think should be your main priority. The

23:53

other thing is, you're

23:55

sort of in a fortunate situation

23:57

and that is whatever you tell

23:59

yourself, three-year-old at this point, they

24:01

are not going to remember. So

24:06

it doesn't matter what you tell them

24:08

and I would stop stressing how to

24:10

explain this to a three-year-old because they're

24:12

not going to remember and also in

24:14

these moments when you're bad at hiding

24:16

things in front of your kid and

24:18

your kids like you know, hey mommy

24:21

what's wrong? Don't start going

24:23

into the relationship stuff with your three-year-old.

24:25

Don't tell, she does not need to

24:27

know any of that. Yeah

24:29

and like I don't have these conversations with

24:31

her all the time whatsoever. I usually brush it

24:34

off. It's once in a while where she goes

24:36

you know why isn't no one around and I

24:38

have to kind of just explain that she doesn't really want

24:40

to be around but then it's like I

24:43

don't even say that. Don't even say that.

24:45

Right. You can't tell the kid that the

24:47

grandma, why isn't grandma here because she doesn't

24:50

want to see you? I know. Why are

24:52

you saying that? I think it's shiny I

24:57

think that you have this great

25:00

deep animosity

25:02

and hurt for your mother and

25:05

you were incapable of saying anything nice

25:07

about her and you

25:10

have no filter and

25:12

when your kid says where's grandma you cannot

25:14

say she doesn't want to see you because

25:16

that's just you taking out the feelings that

25:18

you have on your mother and unloading them

25:20

on your three-year-old. Yeah it sounds like the

25:23

best route right now is maybe just to

25:25

go no contact with her just for the

25:27

sake of them. I think you should stop

25:29

thinking about your three-year-old

25:32

and start thinking about yourself. Right.

25:34

It's not about the grandmother's

25:36

contact with your kid. It's about your

25:38

contact with your mother. It's that relationship.

25:40

Yeah good point. So figure that

25:43

one out first. Right.

25:45

You could tell the kid the grandmother moved. She's

25:47

not gonna know. Yeah. Does that

25:50

help? Yeah it does help. Thanks

25:52

guys. Something to think about. Thanks Ashley. Thanks. Have a

25:54

good one. Thanks for listening to

25:56

the Roz and Mokusho podcast. from

26:00

6 to 10 on KISS 925. kiss925.com

26:04

or download the KISS925 app.