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where OP's husband tries to steal

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fourteen thousand dollars from her under

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join honey dot com slash

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r slash. Am I the butthole

1:14

for refusing to let my husband pull four

1:16

thirteen thousand dollars out of my account without signing

1:18

a contract? I'm a thirty six year old

1:20

woman, and I've been married to my husband

1:22

who's forty two for two years. I've

1:25

never been married before him, but

1:27

he was married twice and has six kids.

1:29

He requested that our finances be split,

1:32

which is fine by me because seeing

1:34

how he blows through his money is so

1:36

frustrating. He says that he has

1:38

kids, commitments, and has to provide

1:41

but I don't think that kids would need that much

1:43

money to live like the other kids. His

1:45

bank account is almost always

1:47

empty, whereas mine has over twenty

1:49

thousand dollars. We take turns paying

1:51

for daily expenses and stuff. Lately,

1:54

he's been struggling with money. He

1:56

borrowed from a number of people, including

1:58

my own broad about four thousand

2:00

dollars from him just a week ago. He

2:03

just seemed desperate for money.

2:05

I asked him what the deal was. and

2:07

he said that he needed the money for the kids,

2:10

which seemed fishy since the kids don't

2:12

really need that much money for their expenses. The

2:14

oldest is sixteen. So he

2:16

asked to borrow fourteen thousand dollars

2:18

from me. He wants to pull the money from

2:20

my account and put it into his. I

2:23

tried asking him what he needed the money for,

2:25

but he said that it was none of my business.

2:27

Then he insisted that he would return

2:29

the money ASAP. I said, okay,

2:31

but only under the condition that he would

2:33

sign a contract stating that he would return

2:35

the money in full. He acted all shocked

2:38

and offended, then went on about how I

2:40

don't trust him in his word. I told

2:42

him that was my one and only condition.

2:44

He kept ranting about how I'm refusing

2:46

to help and making the situation more difficult

2:49

for him instead of cooperating. I

2:51

insisted on a contract to be signed

2:53

before he even gets a penny from me. And

2:55

this morning when I told him this one more

2:58

time, he blew up and said that we're

3:00

a family and that I should be ashamed for involving

3:02

courts and lawyers between family. He

3:04

left the house and was so upset

3:06

that he hasn't responded to any of my calls

3:08

yet. Am I the butthole for standing

3:11

my ground with this condition? Then

3:13

OP posted an update. I tried

3:15

talking to him after he got home. And

3:17

when I tried pressing him to tell me what he

3:19

needs the money for, he gave me the same

3:21

attitude and said, You don't have to worry

3:23

about it. I still stood by my

3:25

condition and he called me effing

3:27

useless. Then he stormed

3:29

off to spend the night doing who knows what.

3:31

Alright. OP, something's

3:34

fishy here. I don't know exactly what's

3:36

going on, but this sounds

3:38

and feels like the behavior of

3:40

someone with an addiction. either

3:42

drugs or gambling or

3:45

prostitution, whatever. Like, this guy

3:47

burned through, what, four thousand

3:49

dollars in one week. That's

3:51

like, eight hundred bucks a day. And

3:53

now he needs fourteen thousand dollars

3:55

for what? For what? Man, if you go

3:58

to a bank and you went alone, you can't just be like,

4:00

dear mister bank person, please give me

4:02

a hundred thousand dollars. I'm not gonna

4:04

tell you what it's for, but I promise

4:06

you you'll get it back eventually. Nah,

4:08

man. Nah. Of course, the bank is gonna

4:10

ask what it's for because if it's for something

4:12

stupid, they'll never see their money again.

4:14

So if a bank has that requirement, it's

4:17

perfect reasonable for you to have that requirements

4:19

as well. This, if I had to guess,

4:21

this feels like gambling. Because if this

4:23

guy is using four thousand dollars

4:25

worth of drugs in one week, then

4:27

you you would definitely notice it in his behavior.

4:30

This got to be crazily tweaked

4:32

out. But slot machines, you can

4:34

burn through four thousand dollars on the slot

4:36

super fast. So I think this guy probably

4:38

has a gambling addiction. OP, I'm

4:40

giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm

4:42

giving your husband two point five out of

4:44

five buttholes. Part of me wants to give him

4:46

a harsher score, but to be

4:48

honest, I think your husband is sick

4:50

o p. In my opinion, your

4:52

two options from here are to either cut

4:54

him off or fight for him to get

4:56

better. Am I the butthole for getting

4:58

my aunt and uncle kicked out of their house for

5:00

not letting my husband and I sleep together?

5:02

I'm a twenty seven year old man, and

5:04

I'm married to a twenty eight year old man.

5:07

He's the love of my life. I'd

5:09

only ever dated women before him,

5:11

but when I met him, I

5:13

realized I was by and we

5:15

fell in love. We got married in the

5:17

fall of two thousand eighteen, so

5:19

it's been almost four years. We

5:21

now live in Vermont. My whole

5:23

family is from a small town in Texas,

5:25

a super conservative Catholic

5:27

area. I was raised there, but

5:29

my dad got a job in New York City when

5:31

I was fifteen. The culture shock

5:33

was difficult. We went from

5:35

living in rural Texas to living in

5:37

an apartment in Manhattan. My

5:39

parents didn't sell our house in Texas.

5:41

Instead, they allowed our aunts and

5:43

uncle who had just had their third child

5:45

to move in while charging them a small

5:48

rent. In college, when I came

5:50

out as by, my brother and

5:52

dad were very supportive. My

5:54

mom needed some time to accept. The

5:56

rest of my family reacted poorly

5:58

at first, but never came around.

6:00

During visits, we stayed with my aunts and

6:03

uncle at my old house, but because

6:05

we weren't married, we weren't allowed to share

6:07

a bed. We didn't argue we

6:09

would both rather keep the peace. ever

6:11

since I came out as by, instead of

6:13

staying with my aunt and uncle, we would rent a

6:15

motel room. During COVID, we

6:17

didn't visit them. But this summer,

6:19

my parents and brother decided to go visit

6:21

my hometown again for two weeks,

6:23

and they invited my husband and I.

6:25

I wanted to get a motel room again,

6:27

but my aunt and uncle insisted that

6:29

my brother, husband, and I stay with

6:31

them. The first night sleeping

6:33

situation was being discussed after my

6:35

cousins went to bed. My aunt

6:37

and uncle wanted me and my brother to take

6:39

the spare room and my husband

6:41

to take the couch. All three

6:43

of us took issue with that. They

6:45

snapped that we're not really married

6:47

because we're gay and that they had kids

6:49

in the house. They said that it would be

6:51

a bad influence on their kids. This

6:54

hurt my husband's feelings and

6:56

he started crying and ran out of the

6:58

room. When my husband ran

7:00

out, my uncle had the audacity to

7:02

start laughing. That's when I

7:04

saw red. I started

7:06

cussing them out so loudly that my

7:08

young cousins came to investigate. I

7:10

told them that if they don't go apologize to

7:12

my husband immediately, then I

7:14

was going to tell my dad what just happened.

7:17

And I was going to make sure to have them

7:19

kicked out of the house that was still in my

7:21

parents name. My brother backed

7:23

me up on everything that I was saying.

7:25

They started backtracking, saying that we

7:27

were still welcome in their house, but we

7:29

had to follow their rules. I

7:31

responded that it wasn't really

7:33

their house. I told them that

7:35

if I headed my way, they would

7:37

be homeless. Their kids started

7:39

crying because they heard me say that they

7:41

were all going to be homeless, so we

7:43

left. My husband was on the

7:45

porch crying, and I promised

7:47

him that I would never subject him to

7:49

that again. I told my dad what

7:51

happened. and to say that

7:53

my dad was angry would be an

7:55

understatement. He served them

7:57

as sixty day eviction notice.

7:59

I've been getting calls, texts, and Facebook

8:02

messages from my family calling me a

8:04

butthole. I wanna know, am I

8:06

the butthole for allowing my young cousins

8:08

to end up homeless? Is it

8:10

fair that they have to pay for what my aunt and

8:12

uncle said to me and my husband? Okay.

8:14

So this story is kinda

8:16

strange because really you're

8:18

not actually involved in

8:20

what happened here. Like, yeah,

8:22

they were mean to you and you told your dad,

8:24

but this is your dad's decision. Right?

8:27

he's the one who owns the house. He's

8:29

the one who evicted your uncle and aunt.

8:31

So if they should be mad at anyone, they should

8:33

be mad at him, not you.

8:35

The only thing that you did OP is tell your dad

8:37

what happened. So as far as

8:39

I'm concerned, you get a super easy

8:42

zero out of five buttholes. You

8:44

defended your husband and told your

8:46

father what happened to you, which is a

8:48

very very reasonable thing to do.

8:50

Also, I'm giving your dad zero out of

8:52

five buttholes. I don't blame him in the slightest

8:54

for kicking your aunt and uncle out.

8:56

Your aunt and uncle, however, get three

8:58

out of five buttholes. Am I the

9:00

butthole for publicly humiliating my

9:02

mom? I'm a twenty four year old woman

9:04

and I have a half brother Ethan

9:06

who's seventeen. When I was sixteen,

9:08

our mother married her new husband,

9:10

and she now has two kids with him.

9:12

Ethan's father isn't in his life,

9:14

so he stays with him full time.

9:16

but I spend more time with my dad and his

9:18

family because I just get along with him

9:20

better. I love my mom, but

9:22

she can be a bit much sometimes, so

9:24

I rarely see her. Ethan and

9:26

I text occasionally. It was my

9:28

mother's birthday a few days ago. And

9:30

while I was visiting, I noticed that

9:32

Ethan and my newborn half sibling

9:34

weren't around. I asked my mom

9:36

where they were. And she said that

9:38

she asked Ethan to check up on the baby while

9:40

she took a break. By the way, we

9:42

were all in the back yard, which is a huge

9:44

backyard. But sometime

9:47

later, I still couldn't find Ethan.

9:49

So I went to Ethan's room and

9:51

he's rocking the baby while she's

9:53

inconsolable and he's crying too because

9:55

the baby won't stop crying. There were

9:57

diapers and baby formula

9:59

everywhere and he was saying that he tried

10:01

everything but she just wouldn't stop

10:03

crying. Somehow, I managed

10:05

to calm them both down, and I

10:07

asked Ethan why he didn't just call someone

10:09

for help. He said that he's

10:11

usually really good at this, and mom

10:13

makes him take care of the baby all the time,

10:15

so he just panicked. He then

10:17

told me that he helped out with our other

10:19

haps' when she was a baby as well and

10:21

still takes care of her. I was really

10:23

upset. I mean, yeah,

10:25

there's nothing wrong with needing a break.

10:27

but Ethan's a seventeen year old

10:30

boy. He's not a father or a

10:32

mother, but apparently he

10:34

takes care of our half siblings more than our

10:36

mom and stepdad does?

10:38

I walked up to my mom while she was

10:40

talking to a group of people and

10:42

basically told her that I can't believe

10:44

she's dumping all her response liabilities

10:46

on Ethan. She knew what I was

10:48

talking about immediately and told me to

10:50

relax and that Ethan likes it blah

10:52

blah blah. I told her that while she

10:54

was out here having a blast, her

10:56

son was sobbing in his room

10:58

because of how overwhelmed he was.

11:00

She got really red and everyone

11:02

went silent, which was awkward,

11:04

but yeah, I later got

11:06

a call from my mom saying that she

11:08

respects my opinions on the situation,

11:11

but that I didn't need to publicly

11:13

humiliate her in front of her friends and

11:15

coworkers. Apparently, her

11:17

boss was there too, and he's being

11:19

very cold to her. I don't know. I

11:21

just can't get Ethan out of my head.

11:23

Am I the butthole? Hopefully, let's

11:25

be clear. You didn't

11:28

embarrass your mother. Your mother

11:30

embarrassed your mother. What's actually

11:32

going on here is she's being a

11:34

bad mom and you're being a good

11:36

sister. OP, you and Ethan get

11:38

zero out of five buttholes. Your

11:40

mother gets two point five out of five

11:42

buttholes. Today's podcast is sponsored

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the free anchor app or go to

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anchor dot f m to get started. Am I

13:19

the butthole for tricking my husband

13:21

into eating the food that I cooked him by

13:23

making him think that his mom sent

13:25

it? My husband, Nikki loves

13:27

his mom's cooking. He always

13:30

praises her for the food that she makes

13:32

and even mentioned it in his room

13:34

speech at the wedding. I consider myself a

13:36

good cook. In fact, I'll just

13:38

say it. I'm an even better cook than his

13:40

mom. But the problem is,

13:42

he doesn't even wanna try my cooking or

13:44

give me a chance to prove it. I thought

13:46

this would change after marriage, but

13:48

five months later nothing's

13:50

changed. So what does he eat if

13:52

he's not eating what I'm cooking? You

13:54

ask? He's requested that his mom

13:56

sends him a meal every

13:58

day to eat for dinner after getting

14:00

off work. except for the weekend where we go

14:02

over to her house and he eats breakfast,

14:04

lunch, dinner, and dessert

14:06

there. Every single

14:09

day he comes home and asks if

14:11

his mom sent him a meal. I grew

14:13

irritated of this. And whenever I

14:15

try to offer him to taste any of the food

14:17

that I cooked, he would just lay in bed and

14:19

say that he's full. So

14:21

I came up with an idea. I cooked

14:23

him the same meal that his mom

14:25

sent him that day and put it aside until

14:27

he got home. he asked if his

14:29

mom sent him a meal for dinner. I

14:31

said yes and served him

14:33

my version of the meal, not

14:35

hers. he didn't notice anything

14:37

different. He ate the whole thing with no

14:39

hesitation while I sat across from him

14:41

asking him questions about how good the

14:43

meal was. He went on and on

14:45

praising it, saying how perfect

14:47

exceptional it was, how it was

14:49

just what he needed after a long day

14:51

at work. I smiled and

14:53

said, you're welcome. He

14:55

froze and looked at me for a minute.

14:57

He looked down at the plate, then

14:59

back at me and said, wait,

15:02

you made this, didn't you? I

15:04

said with my own hands and

15:06

from scratch. His face

15:08

suddenly went red and he got upset and said

15:10

this was not cool. I told him

15:12

that he never even gave me a chance to show

15:14

him how good my cooking is and that he's

15:16

probably just used to his mom's cooking.

15:18

and he's rejecting all other

15:20

alternatives, which is just unfair to

15:22

me. He said that I shouldn't have lied to

15:24

him and tricked him into

15:26

eating food that he had no idea where it

15:28

came from. I said that he liked it and he

15:30

admitted that it was good. So what's

15:32

the issue? He got up from his

15:34

seat through the napkin, said that I

15:36

was unbelievable and walked

15:38

out. He got quiet the rest

15:40

of the evening. then posted

15:42

about it on his Facebook and a

15:44

vague post about being tricked into eating

15:46

someone else's food like that. I

15:48

felt guilty and bad. thinking,

15:50

maybe I really shouldn't have done this,

15:52

but I was frustrated with how he kept

15:54

turning down every meal that I tried to cook them

15:56

and then say, No things.

15:58

I prefer mom's food. Am I

16:01

the butthole?

16:02

What?

16:03

Okey, why'd you marry

16:05

this guy? This guy literally won't

16:07

eat a single bite of food that you cook

16:09

him. And he has mommy making a

16:11

meal every single day and you're like,

16:13

yep, that's the guy I wanna

16:15

marry. And also, one thing that's kind

16:17

of unclear, so I don't wanna speculate on it

16:19

too much, but the way this is written,

16:21

it sounds like the mother only makes

16:23

a meal for him that she

16:25

never makes any extra so that o p can

16:27

eat too. And if that's true,

16:29

then not only is your husband disrespecting

16:31

you, but your mother-in-law is

16:33

too. this story, this is just bizarre

16:35

o p. This is your

16:39

husband's weird. Okay. Opie.

16:41

Please divorce this guy. You're only like five

16:43

months in, so you haven't really invested too much.

16:46

Just move on. This guy is a pathetic

16:48

mama's boy who needs to cut the umbilical

16:50

cord. And like besides, what's he

16:52

gonna do when his mom dies? Just

16:54

starve to death, I guess. OP, you

16:56

get zero out of five buttholes. Your

16:58

husband gets two out of five buttholes.

17:00

Am I the butthole for saying that I won't

17:02

cuddle my infertile sister anymore?

17:04

My sister, Julie, has tried to have a

17:06

baby for five years. She had

17:08

a miscarriage two years ago and outside

17:11

of that has been unable to get

17:13

pregnant. My heart hurts

17:15

for her. However, one thing that

17:17

I don't agree with is how my family has

17:19

handled it. We're just not allowed

17:21

to talk about babies around

17:23

Julie. Any kids younger than three can't

17:25

come to family events that she's going to

17:27

attend. She wanna attend baby showers,

17:30

baptism, etcetera. That last one I

17:32

understand, but the rest feels like

17:34

overkill. I got pregnant last year.

17:36

Julie was the first person I told about

17:38

it, and she reiterated her

17:40

boundary. I said that I understood.

17:42

The first hurdle came with my

17:44

baby shower. My mother-in-law was throwing

17:46

it, and I didn't expect Julie

17:49

to come. Then my mom told

17:51

me that I shouldn't have a baby shower

17:53

period out of respect. I

17:55

said that was ridiculous. She

17:57

didn't have to come, so why did it

17:59

matter? Only three people from

18:01

my side of the family came to the

18:03

shower. When my son was born, I posted a

18:05

birth announcement on Facebook. My

18:07

parents lectured me for this and said that

18:09

it was going to hurt Julie. I said

18:11

that she could just block or mute

18:13

me. They said that I should make

18:15

the effort. Julie echoed

18:17

that if I cared, I'd

18:19

stop. I ended up blocking her just to save

18:21

drama. My aunt's seventieth

18:23

birthday party is next week. My

18:25

husband and I plan to go bringing our

18:27

son. Julie called and asked if we

18:29

were going. She then asked for me to get

18:31

a sitter for our son. I

18:33

said no. Julie doesn't want to

18:35

miss the party. My aunt is

18:37

one of the few people who agree that Julie's

18:39

boundaries aren't fair and she wants my son

18:41

there because she doesn't get to see him

18:43

often. Truly got upset and

18:45

started crying, saying that I

18:47

was unfair. I finally snapped and

18:49

asked what would happen when she got

18:51

pregnant? Would we all be expected to shower

18:53

her with a love and attention that she refused

18:55

to give other people's kids? Will

18:57

her baby be allowed to attend events? She

18:59

said that was different. I

19:01

said, no. I am not coddling

19:04

her anymore. My son

19:06

exists. He's family and he's

19:08

coming. She can decide if she wants to come

19:10

or not. My parents yelled at

19:12

me for being mean to Julie. offered

19:14

to pay for a sitter, but I said no.

19:16

It's not even Julie's house. Am

19:18

I the butthole? Yeah. O. P.

19:20

I'm on your side. There's nothing

19:22

wrong with placing boundaries, but her boundaries

19:24

are way too big. It's like she

19:26

crossed over your boundaries to draw

19:28

her boundary within your boundaries.

19:31

Also, the point that you brought up about her child

19:33

totally makes sense. OP, I'm

19:35

giving you zero out of five buttholes. While

19:37

I do sympathize with Julie,

19:39

she's taking this too far, so I'm giving her one

19:42

point five out of five buttholes.

19:44

That was r slash m i the butthole. And if

19:46

you like this content, be sure to follow

19:48

my podcast. because I put out new Reddit

19:50

podcast episodes every single

19:52

day.