0:01

This is a HeadGum Podcast.

0:15

Summer breeze makes me

0:17

feel fine, blowing

0:19

through the jasmine in my mind.

0:27

What's up, Roodtales fans? It's Joe here. I'm

0:29

here with Tim, the

0:31

summer boy, Platt.

0:33

Summer loving, having

0:36

a blast. Summer

0:38

loving, I'm with the guys.

0:43

And I'm also here with Chris by

0:46

the Beach Hastings. Summertime

0:50

and I'm with the guys.

0:53

There we go. So, boys, I

0:55

mean, actually, we should say full disclosure,

0:58

we're recording this on

1:01

June 20th. I think

1:03

we're recording this a day before the official start

1:05

of summer. It's the solstice eve, baby.

1:07

Yeah. Now we're not releasing it for a minute, but

1:10

I think we're all ready and we're all thinking

1:13

about it and we're all

1:15

we're all ready. Tell me, boys, where

1:17

does summer land for you in your,

1:20

you know, in your ranking of seasons? Is

1:23

it a big one for you or are you more of a winter? Interesting.

1:26

More autumnal? At this point of

1:28

life, I feel like we have to like we

1:31

have to ask a little more. If we're talking

1:33

about ranking seasons, are we talking about

1:36

like the pleasure of being out

1:38

in the season? Are we talking about the trappings

1:41

of the season? Because summer vacation is huge.

1:43

You know, like I feel like if you say anything other

1:45

than summer vacation, people really don't want to be on summer

1:48

vacation. It's like, well,

1:50

you know what I mean? But I feel like I'm

1:52

more called to an autumnal,

1:54

you know, atmosphere. I

1:57

knew it. I knew you were going to come on the.

2:00

summer episode and start running your mouth about

2:02

fall. I'm

2:04

saying you asked for, I'm saying I've never

2:06

seen you on a vacation.

2:08

But come on, a sweater,

2:10

the beautiful breeze, the ease

2:13

of walking around well

2:16

dressed, well coughed with little

2:18

hats. Well coughed? Do you mean

2:20

having a coffee?

2:22

Yeah. Ever

2:24

heard of iced coffee, bro? I don't

2:26

have iced coffee because

2:29

when I worked at a summer camp

2:31

in Brooklyn and I would walk

2:34

by a bodega and I would get iced coffee, one

2:36

day the barista said,

2:38

you know, you're

2:39

working at the camp that goes outside

2:42

all day, right? I said yes. And they said,

2:44

you know, iced coffee dehydrates

2:46

you more than hot coffee

2:49

because your body puts

2:51

more energy into bringing the cold

2:53

to body temperature. So

2:56

if you're struggling with being hydrated, you should

2:58

have regular coffee. And I said, okay. And

3:01

I went along with that for years until recently when

3:03

I realized that's probably not true. Until

3:05

the moment you said it out loud again? Yeah.

3:09

Also, just want to flag barista

3:12

at your bodega. Yeah, I guess that is a

3:14

crazy thing to say.

3:18

Just the guy

3:20

at the bodega who poured you iced coffee. Maybe it was

3:22

a woman, but yeah, I mean the

3:24

person who worked there.

3:26

Also, I would say

3:28

that maybe even if that advice is

3:30

true, now that you don't work at a

3:32

summer camp outside in Brooklyn,

3:34

that

3:35

advice may be less critical. Like you may

3:37

be able to enjoy a drink at your desk

3:40

and not worry about dehydrating. It is 100% less

3:43

critical, but you know when you have that that brain worm

3:45

where you're like, I can't dehydrate me.

3:48

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It becomes like

3:50

instinctual. Well, all

3:52

I'll say is, and we're not there yet, but I will say that

3:54

I'm glad some of this is covered in

3:56

the rules. Okay, cool. Okay.

4:00

And I'll just say it, I think the best way to stay hydrated

4:03

is to keep drinking water and then you don't have

4:05

to worry so much about what a tea

4:07

does or a coffee iced or

4:09

not. Just drink

4:11

plenty of water. I completely

4:14

agree. I mean, you're right. And

4:16

I did that too. But this thing,

4:18

this little thing someone said

4:20

to me once got in my brain and I

4:22

rolled with it responsibly.

4:24

Roll with it responsibly. Roll

4:27

with it responsibly. I

4:29

have come to discover that I

4:31

drink what seems to be a

4:33

shockingly larger

4:35

amount of water than most people I know. Not

4:39

Tim. And

4:41

it's clear because of how often

4:43

I have to go pee pee. To

4:47

the point where I remember whenever I

4:51

was home from college one

4:54

summer and

4:56

hanging out with my friends just every

4:58

day, didn't have anything else to do. And

5:01

I'd come home at night, usually like when

5:03

my parents were in bed and

5:05

I would immediately just go to the bathroom. And

5:08

one day my mom sat me down when I was 18 or 19. She's

5:12

like, Chris, have you been going out drinking every

5:14

single night? I was like, what? She's

5:16

like, because you come home and pee first

5:19

thing. I was like, I just drink

5:21

a lot of water. It's hot out. Mama

5:23

swear.

5:24

You were out drinking. I was

5:26

not. You were out. No,

5:28

I wasn't. I was out

5:31

spending an hour or two in

5:33

a blockbuster with friends trying to figure out what

5:35

movie to rent for that night. Yeah. Yeah.

5:38

Which one did you pick?

5:40

It'd be different every night, Tim. No,

5:42

no, no, no. Come on. Which one did

5:44

you pick, Chris? Give

5:46

us the archetypal film. Oh, Office

5:48

Space. Nice. Yeah,

5:51

yeah. Okay. You know? Yeah.

5:55

Flare. Yeah. Chris,

5:57

maybe you just have a tiny bladder. Oh, yeah.

6:00

that could be true too. Yeah. But

6:02

I also know I drink a lot of water. So I'd

6:04

rather this be a signal of my

6:07

strength and not a weakness.

6:09

Okay. Well, if any of our

6:13

listeners is a urologist,

6:15

feel free to chime in. I've talked to one, he

6:17

said it's fine. Great.

6:18

Okay. Great.

6:22

So you asked the urologist at your bodega.

6:24

Oh, no, I asked the urologist at

6:26

my local coffee shop. All

6:29

right. I got to say for

6:31

me, summer's pretty high. Yeah. Okay. I

6:33

actually, I like summer. I like

6:36

the beach. As listeners may know,

6:38

I grew up in a beach town. So summer

6:42

was, you know, the whole year was sort of

6:44

geared towards summer in a lot of ways.

6:47

Just waiting for summer to come back. So,

6:49

but how about now though? Because

6:52

here's my, here's my,

6:55

Tim, Tim, are you saying like, Oh, it sucks

6:58

that like the subway is hot. Is

7:00

this, you're like, Oh, I smell

7:02

the garbage. I mean, that's part

7:04

of it. Yeah. I mean, look, I mean, what I'm trying

7:07

to do, what I'm trying to do simply is

7:09

like, how can we reasonably

7:12

divorce our nostalgia from summer

7:14

vacation from our current,

7:16

you know, appreciation of the season? You know what

7:18

I mean? The power of summer vacation

7:21

is so, it's tendrils

7:24

break through time to infect us now,

7:26

even, you know, way past when we ever, we

7:28

ever would have had a summer vacation.

7:30

You could take a summer vacation, Tim. Yeah.

7:33

But you know what I mean? You

7:36

know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

7:38

Taking a summer vacation now does not compare

7:41

to getting off school for a couple

7:43

months. For 10 weeks or whatever. Yeah.

7:46

Yeah. You're right.

7:47

I, you're right. But also I enjoy

7:50

that feeling year round. Yeah, baby. I

7:53

often will sit down for a second and I'll just make,

7:56

I don't have to go back to school ever again. Yeah,

7:59

dude. School's out. I love it. That's

8:01

true. Learned it all. God,

8:04

but that's the thing is like, I miss learning.

8:08

Oh, well now you can pick what you want to learn now. You

8:10

have to do it. No, I need a teacher. Okay.

8:14

Well, you can have a teacher, but like-

8:15

Yeah, you still got to pick it. Yeah. You

8:18

remember college, you had to pick your classes. Yeah,

8:20

I love that. Yeah. Well,

8:22

yeah, okay. Yeah, that was great. I went to comic

8:24

book school. It was great. Anyway,

8:27

I rank everything equally

8:29

above winter. I hate January

8:32

and February so much,

8:35

and I generally find something to appreciate about

8:37

the other seasons in equal

8:39

measure. I thought really hard about this while

8:41

you guys were talking about my

8:44

bladder size. Yeah,

8:46

winter. Ooh, winter can be rough.

8:48

Winter can be rough. And now we're also

8:51

not saying there isn't some desolate

8:53

beauty in the dead

8:55

of winter where the light barely

8:57

shines and it's hard to go

9:00

outside. We're not saying

9:02

there's not beauty there. Just

9:04

it might rank below some other beauties. All

9:06

that gets in December. Everybody's

9:09

excited about all the winter stuff and it gets all crammed

9:12

into December. Yeah. And

9:14

then after New Year's Eve, it's, oh no,

9:17

we didn't plan enough activities after

9:19

this. Yeah. It just sucks.

9:22

And that's why they made February shorter. That's

9:25

okay. Okay, sure.

9:27

I'll give you that. Yeah. They're able

9:29

to crunch some numbers, shave a couple of days off

9:32

winter. They're so smart at how they do that stuff.

9:34

They are. I

9:37

got to say I am, I'm that asshole

9:39

who loves all the seasons. That's

9:41

nice. Equally. Not equally, but I

9:44

enjoy them all in different respects. I

9:46

get what you're saying about autumn, Tim. I

9:48

see the appeal of the crunch

9:51

of a leaf, of

9:54

putting on that scarf for the first time.

9:57

Hey, no complaints about that wickedest of

9:59

holidays, Halloween. Mm-hmm can't

10:01

have it without autumn that first time you put

10:03

on a sort of like warm hat and realize

10:06

oh

10:06

this smells Well, I haven't

10:09

watched this in more like two

10:11

years rather than one year In

10:14

winter I love I love a fresh fallen

10:16

blanket of snow, of course I

10:19

love a freshly decorated gingerbread house.

10:21

You love a freshly baked. So we're not talking

10:23

about that Tim We're not getting into that kind of detail.

10:26

This is the summer show. Okay, Tim

10:28

Okay, summer show.

10:30

Okay. This is a summer show.

10:32

So whether we're just talking about Season

10:36

stuff. I mean, what's the Direction

10:38

to go in because I'm in happy just to shoot the shit

10:40

about summer But get

10:42

the impression. There's some other structures

10:46

within which we must direct

10:49

our little

10:51

Conversation an elegant

10:53

segue Tim. No one saw it coming. Thank

10:55

you. That's right folks today We're

10:58

doing a summer vacation draft.

11:00

Mm-hmm myself Tim and Chris

11:03

will be drafting the elements to build

11:05

a

11:06

great summer vacation

11:08

I have personally crafted these rules, but I want

11:10

to assure my competitors

11:13

that I Made up

11:15

these rules and then I promptly stopped thinking

11:17

about it. I do not have answers ready to go I

11:20

am as fresh-minded as you Mm-hmm

11:23

Healthy debate is welcome

11:25

and encouraged. We're gonna hash

11:27

this out. We're gonna figure it out and You

11:31

know what? I want you to leave it all on the field. Okay.

11:34

All right, and one of us wins at the

11:36

end of this Well,

11:38

I think we'll know Okay, I

11:41

think we'll know or you know, we'll

11:43

leave it to the fans to discuss on Myspace.

11:46

Hmm Forum of the future

11:50

It's coming back come back. Come on back. All

11:53

right. I'm now beginning the rules.

11:55

Okay of the summer vacation draft So

11:57

listen up. Okay. This is a snake

12:00

Draft the player going last in

12:02

the first round will go first in the second round.

12:04

Mm-hmm, etc That's pretty clear.

12:06

There is no overlap if Tim

12:08

picks something Chris can't pick it. That's why we're drafting.

12:11

Mm-hmm If you

12:13

make a selection Tim, are you paying attention and

12:15

paying attention? This is in the rules Okay, if

12:17

you make a selection that is deemed too

12:20

autumnal your selection in that round

12:22

will be void. Oh shit. Okay. Okay

12:24

Watch out for those early September

12:26

picks. Yeah Skating

12:29

on if you're doing anything if

12:31

you're picking the first day of school, you're

12:33

out of here. Okay

12:36

Okay, okay if you're picking

12:38

the day after Labor Day, bye-bye

12:41

You know Well here question question

12:43

and this connects what I was saying before is

12:46

last day of school summer or summer

12:48

when school and yeah I mean, that's yes. What okay

12:50

great question. Yes. Yeah, I think

12:52

it is. Okay, we each have

12:55

six picks total Okay,

12:57

but there are several categories that must be fulfilled.

13:00

Mm-hmm You can draft them in any order you

13:02

want Okay, but they must all be present

13:04

by the end of the draft to complete your summer

13:06

vacation. Okay. All right. These

13:09

are the categories You

13:11

must have a food or a beverage

13:14

great. You must have Something

13:17

to do with water parentheses

13:19

non beverage. Mm-hmm. Thank you. You

13:22

must have a first

13:24

Oh You must have

13:26

a song Bonus

13:29

points will be awarded if you're completed summer

13:31

vacation fits a theme or a vibe Oh

13:34

shit, and that's it that those are the rules.

13:36

Oh Wow, so this

13:39

is something where before you were like, should

13:41

I tell you guys the rules before we were like, no, no No,

13:43

we should like no we should do it live

13:45

and now that you're doing I'm like, oh man I got I have a lot

13:48

of thinking to do now. It's all gonna

13:50

be on Mike. Oh Man

13:52

well there that's why there are turns. Yeah.

13:54

Yeah.

13:55

Okay. I'm going to I'm going to use a random

13:57

number generator to pick

14:00

The order whoever has the highest

14:02

number will go first. Okay, okay

14:05

So I'm gonna I'm gonna generate Tim's

14:07

number Timmy your number is 32 not bad These

14:11

are numbers between 1 and 100 so I'm not

14:13

lovely by age in four years My

14:16

number is 21. Okay me Branson

14:19

stages in four years and

14:22

Chris's number is Wow 16

14:24

everyone's low and

14:26

Tim's going first Tim your first

14:29

So just to review Tim you're going first. I'm

14:32

going second Chris is going third

14:34

and then the second round will reverse it so Chris will

14:36

go first He'll make two picks in a row and then

14:38

come back to me. Gotcha. Well, I

14:40

have my first pick.

14:41

Oh shit Okay, we're going

14:44

we're going it's summertime. All right. I have my first

14:46

pick and is in fact my first first

14:49

pick So my pick

14:51

for the first of the summer is

14:54

of course the first summer

14:57

Late night bonfire and

14:59

even take late night out of it Let's talk about like

15:02

as the lights dimming and you start

15:04

that fire very slowly and only

15:06

gets bigger and bigger as the

15:09

night sky totally over

15:11

cakes

15:11

all of the light and Everyone's around

15:14

and the friends are coming and there's food

15:17

and drinks and let's say we're on the beach And

15:19

this someone's got a guitar or

15:21

someone's got a boombox and there's

15:23

different spaces to sit around it The

15:26

bonfire is the centerpiece of the event

15:29

can be on the beach can be at a barn I went

15:32

to a bunch of barn Bondfires in the summer

15:34

when I was a kid maybe maybe you're on the beach

15:36

and someone runs off to jump

15:39

in the ocean and then You hear

15:41

them swimming

15:41

for a little while and then you hear a big chomp Yes,

15:44

which is also very fun because it means like you can't really They've

15:47

made you've made a sacrifice for the summer and

15:49

it's the life of your friend And

15:52

frankly, I just remember being

15:55

younger and like

15:56

Great hookups happens around

15:59

the summer bump So like magical

16:02

little romance has happened for just that night. I

16:04

just feel like there's a magic to that summer bonfire

16:07

and the first one is a real,

16:10

frankly haven't gone to these in a while. I feel like I'm

16:12

an adult. No, but still every once in a while,

16:14

you'll get a bonfire. And when I was younger,

16:16

there tended to be many during the

16:18

summer. So I'm going for the first bonfire

16:21

of the summer. That's a good pick. And

16:24

you know what? Again, Chris, we

16:27

can choose these in any order. Don't

16:30

feel motivated by this, but you,

16:33

Tim, that's a really strong.

16:36

That is like a first round pick. Like anyone,

16:38

anyone who was like predicting our picks, like anyone

16:40

is going to say like a great summer bonfire is

16:43

probably like that's going to go early.

16:45

That's, yeah, that's why I'm glad. Like I have

16:47

to admit like, yes, Tim, you know, you

16:49

were talking a lot about fall, but Tim has clearly come to

16:52

play.

16:53

But you are inspiring me to get

16:56

my first taking care of fast because

16:58

I don't want it to go and I'm worried that Chris maybe

17:00

could

17:01

take it. No, mine are all original.

17:03

I feel no fear from either of

17:06

you. Okay. I'm taking

17:08

for my, for this round,

17:10

my pick is my first and I'm going

17:12

with

17:13

first kiss. That's great. I

17:16

have never had that. So I couldn't pick it. You've

17:18

never had your first kiss. Chris,

17:23

I want that for you, man. I'm waiting

17:25

for retirement. Just,

17:31

just applying chapstick every

17:33

day, knowing you're going to turn 65 and

17:35

they'll be ready. I lock my lips in the chest

17:38

to be built.

17:39

So here's what I'll say. Oh,

17:41

here's my question for the, for this. Um,

17:44

you know, when I hear first kiss, I

17:47

think first ever

17:49

kiss, I think about that. And

17:51

so that's what you're saying. So the first, because my

17:53

first kiss was a summer kiss, you know, exactly.

17:57

Ah shit. Mine was too, actually. Oh. Oh,

18:01

so somebody has been kissed. Oh,

18:05

no, I forgot about my bit. So

18:08

enraptured I was by sweet memory.

18:11

Do you all want to talk about this or are you

18:13

going to share a first summer kiss? I'm not. No, absolutely

18:15

not. I don't like to talk about things that

18:17

happened, you know, during the Trump

18:20

administration. So I

18:22

can't talk about my first kiss.

18:23

No, and I will. I

18:25

like Tim, I think that I think the first summer

18:28

bonfire, like that first moment, I was more

18:30

for this category. I definitely had in mind more like something

18:33

you were doing for the first time. Gotcha.

18:35

So that's why I went first kiss. OK. All

18:37

right,

18:38

Chris, I think it's up to you. All

18:40

right. Since we're knocking them out, I'll

18:42

do my first. But you don't have to.

18:45

I just want you to know that I don't have to do this.

18:47

I've chosen to.

18:48

I've chosen to for an enjoyable listening

18:50

experience. Maybe we get we get

18:52

a little crazier after this round. All

18:54

right. So here it is.

18:55

First time having vinegar

18:58

on French fries. Talking

19:00

boardwalk fries, baby. Yeah. OK.

19:04

Interesting because this could also be

19:06

your food. You're not going to put vinegar on French

19:08

fries in the winter. You're going to do that on

19:10

your beach vacation when you go to the boardwalk

19:12

and

19:13

you have French fries. And

19:14

your dad's going to be like, trust me, it's good.

19:16

And

19:16

you're like, dad, that's weird. I want to catch up. He says, trust

19:19

me, it's good. It was good. My

19:21

mom used to make oven fries that were heavy

19:23

on the vinegar. Well, we definitely

19:25

wait for the boardwalk fries. And

19:28

we also would throw some Old Bay

19:30

in there with that.

19:31

Mm. Maryland, Maryland.

19:34

Chris, I want to be really clear with you here. Are

19:37

you saying this is separate from your food

19:39

choice?

19:41

Or are you trying to argue that this is a this

19:43

is a two for one? This is separate

19:45

from my food choice, actually.

19:47

OK. Thank you for asking.

19:50

As as luck would have it,

19:52

I have another foodie. For me

19:54

personally, that first

19:57

time having vinegar on the fries is

19:59

the best. version and by the end of the summer,

20:01

I'm not amazed. I'm

20:03

not, it's not my go to summer

20:06

dish. I don't do it often, but

20:08

like funny after it's like after summer vacation

20:10

is over

20:12

and I have fish and chips

20:14

later in life for the first time, like, oh, they do

20:16

the vinegar here too. Yeah, special.

20:19

It's sort of like ordering pancakes

20:21

and that first like two bites. Like this is amazing.

20:24

And then those last bites, you're like, well, I mean,

20:26

I'm I'm eating it, you know.

20:28

Yeah. OK,

20:31

Chris. Yes. As per the rules

20:33

of the snake draft, you then

20:35

get to make another pick. Thank you. I'm

20:38

going to step out of the categories for a second for one

20:40

of my wild cards. Great, great.

20:43

So first day of

20:45

vacation, and this can be a beach vacation.

20:48

This can be a resort kind of thing,

20:51

whatever. Anyplace where you're

20:53

maybe seeing the same other vacationing

20:55

families day after day in the nearby

20:58

vicinity. So here it is. You

21:00

make friends with a kid from

21:02

another family on the first day. And

21:05

then over a couple of days,

21:07

discover they're really weird. And

21:11

maybe you don't want to spend every day with this kid

21:13

you just met. Chris,

21:16

so your your selection is a friend

21:19

of vacation convenience. Yes.

21:22

Interesting pick. A pick with

21:25

with with sort of with sort of a

21:27

downside. But the memories, Joe.

21:29

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, what

21:31

you're saying is you're meeting a character. You're meeting a

21:33

character. You know, you're meeting someone that's

21:35

going to stand out to you. OK,

21:37

OK. All right. You

21:40

know, I saw this happen recently where

21:43

my niece, my little

21:45

niece, about four

21:47

or five at this point, brother-in-law

21:50

and sister-in-law and their family was visiting New York.

21:52

And my niece is very charismatic,

21:56

always makes friends and always like very

21:59

good with adults, too. And we go to

22:01

this restaurant that's very

22:03

open in this like outdoor area and like the owner

22:05

of the restaurant is actually sitting around with his family

22:07

and He's got a little daughter too

22:09

and we

22:10

watch My niece

22:12

and this other girl to sort of like become friends. No,

22:15

I'm from here I live in New York and we'll visit around

22:17

and we slowly watch something

22:20

happen

22:21

where they like stop hanging out

22:23

and they're sitting apart and like it's

22:26

clear one of them wants to like

22:28

Continue continue again, but like

22:30

something happened and then they leave without

22:32

saying goodbye They're like what?

22:35

It was I like sort of forgotten about that

22:37

experience and Chris you bringing it up

22:39

is like it's such a thing. Mm-hmm It's

22:42

human. It's specific. It's universal.

22:44

There

22:45

we go. Incredible. Incredible.

22:47

It's the one I came up with this morning

22:49

before the rules were explained Yeah It

22:53

is good. So we have two wild card options. Yeah

22:56

now now Chris maybe could have

22:58

argued that his Salt and vinegar

23:00

fries pick was

23:02

both his first and his food He

23:04

didn't but like, you know, you could see

23:06

that happening and you know If you want to try and make

23:08

that case you could try and make that case.

23:11

I'm not saying it'll work

23:12

All right. Well, I'm not going to because I

23:14

also have a terrific Solo

23:16

food thing stay tuned to

23:19

be told a food by me All

23:22

right. I am so it's my turn. Mm-hmm.

23:24

I am going to do my My

23:27

something to do with water pick. Mm-hmm,

23:30

and I'm going to select

23:32

a beach house. Oh Wow,

23:34

okay. He's kept the location.

23:37

We're talking right out onto

23:39

the dunes That's nice Wow

23:42

nice warm waves gently lapping

23:45

people around but not too close The

23:48

boardwalk a board rocks like a 10-minute walk away.

23:50

Yeah Wow, but you got room

23:52

You know, you can you can you got room to

23:54

do like a big sandcastle prime real

23:57

estate or like to do

23:59

other stuff to

24:02

him to check it near

24:04

the dalai but the water element

24:06

yeah can so i'm so i'm sorry

24:09

you know that i can kind of fucks you guys

24:11

but year so i think one

24:13

thing about what you just said com

24:16

and we can quibble about this is that you swift

24:18

took a bit of beach

24:19

options off the table right there

24:22

you know yeah i absolutely

24:24

did i've i would argue he only

24:26

took the house or stick

24:29

by the way ascribed it was there of the

24:31

access to the beach and that

24:33

he added to the beach is critical sure

24:35

the access to the beach is a fundamental part of the house

24:38

i would say like

24:39

a chalet where you can ski out

24:41

his you know that's that comes

24:43

that comes of the mountain tim i'm gonna say

24:45

with i'm going for

24:48

a beach vacation theme as well

24:50

i am confident joe is not knocking

24:52

out any of my okay well i just

24:54

want to original there

24:56

so delightful there so

24:58

fresh

24:59

he can have the house i've

25:01

got the ideas okay okay

25:06

well speaking of ideas i have a miscellaneous

25:08

i like to bring up our wildcard or

25:10

the bring up i'm and

25:12

this is a

25:14

reading that book that everyone's

25:17

been telling you now year

25:19

and you been waiting for it for just the

25:21

right time ah because you people to read

25:23

it for a while but you're

25:25

you're about to go the beach for i

25:28

extended period of time and you're like

25:30

only better go on vacation to tell me that this is a time to bring

25:32

a book and it turns out the book

25:34

is as good as readable

25:38

as everyone said it was

25:40

and you'll love it and

25:41

it takes the whole trip ultra and

25:44

someone is really at the same

25:46

time as you are naturally you haven't missed

25:49

out well on actually talking

25:51

about it and you haven't missed the boat and

25:54

and it's great damn i gotta know

25:56

in your mind like does a book

25:59

about the Is there a book that you have

26:01

in your heart that you're thinking, or

26:03

is this just a sort of hypothetical?

26:05

So I forget, I definitely read one of

26:07

these books during the summer, but I'm thinking

26:10

specifically of the, my brilliant

26:12

friend, Elena Ferrante novels.

26:14

Sure. There were four of them.

26:17

And I know at least one of

26:19

them I read during the summer and they were just like

26:21

so readable and

26:24

so I couldn't stop, I couldn't stop.

26:27

I wanted to fall into them. And people were

26:29

talking about them too. At the time they were

26:31

very hip. And

26:34

it was worth it. I mean, I was

26:36

totally on board with it. I loved it. It

26:39

was the only time, I remember

26:41

reading one when I was,

26:43

I've never talked to people on the train because

26:45

it's like rude, you know? But someone

26:47

was reading one of those books. I remember it

26:49

was the only time I was like, oh, where are you at

26:52

in that? And like we had a very

26:54

nice conversation and then left. But

26:56

I was thinking about those books. So

26:58

I'm sure there's other ones I can think of too.

27:01

Can you both think of any of that ilk?

27:04

I have two vacation reads that

27:06

immediately pop to mind.

27:08

So my family drove

27:10

to Florida for Disney World one

27:13

year. I think I was 11, maybe 12.

27:17

And during that multi-day

27:20

drive

27:22

down to Florida was the first time

27:24

I read Dracula.

27:25

Oh, wow. That's great.

27:29

Chris, this is getting a terminal. Oh,

27:31

no. Oh, no. Be careful.

27:34

Wait, wait, wait. Um, um, OK. It's

27:36

so you didn't pick it. You didn't pick it. It's OK. You

27:38

didn't pick it. You pick it. I just I just want

27:40

to I just want to like put up some guardrails. It

27:42

doesn't pick it at all. Just bring it up. Oh,

27:44

gosh. Well, that was close. Oh, that was so

27:46

close.

27:47

And

27:49

another trip we took to Florida when I

27:51

was an adult, I read the DaVinci code.

27:54

Nice. That's great. And that was

27:56

and that's that's a terrific vacation

27:58

read because. Whatever

28:00

you want to say about it, it's page turner.

28:03

It is a page turner. Very good, very good cliffhangers

28:06

at the end of each chapter. Where you read it just to

28:09

steal those secrets of like

28:11

the page turniness of it. Yeah, Tim,

28:14

for me, the the books that

28:16

fit like all your criteria for me.

28:20

Go back to childhood

28:21

and just to

28:24

be like perfectly honest, I

28:26

don't remember the names, but they came out when like we

28:28

were kids and they were like books about a magic school.

28:32

They were like really popular and we don't

28:34

talk about them anymore. Oh, yeah.

28:36

I don't know. Yeah. I

28:38

don't know.

28:39

But I can imagine that they fit those criteria.

28:42

Yeah. Yeah. Like everyone read

28:44

them. They were coming out. They came out in July. Oh,

28:47

you know, it's funny. I

28:49

when one of those came out, that was

28:51

right around the time I applied for a job,

28:53

a summer job. Just

28:56

because I was unemployed after graduating

28:58

college. And that was summer

28:59

for a job at Barnes and Noble. And

29:02

in the interview, they were like,

29:04

like it was a group interview. So

29:06

they very quickly were just reading people out.

29:09

And one of the questions was like, what was the last book

29:11

you read? And I was like, well,

29:14

you know, obviously, like everybody else, I read

29:16

that last magic school book.

29:18

But the most interesting, but let me tell

29:21

you the interesting book I just read is The Historian,

29:24

which is about a woman who goes to find Dracula.

29:27

Chris, I'm

29:30

so sorry. I

29:32

can't I need to get I have

29:34

to get close to the autumnal flame.

29:36

So is

29:38

this is this is now I get to

29:40

write this how it works. I go back.

29:43

Yeah. OK. But then,

29:45

Joe, do you ever get to picks in a row?

29:48

No, because I'm always right in the middle. He's

29:50

he's so perfectly positioned every time.

29:53

I'm Goldilocks. So blonde.

29:55

God, I have a food one that

29:58

I feel like I'm going to regret saying it, but. It's

30:00

what's in my brain right now, so I'm just

30:02

gonna go for it. And this comes

30:04

from being a camp

30:06

counselor. And

30:09

when I was in high school,

30:11

I was a camp counselor for very little

30:13

kids, sort of preschool to

30:16

elementary school. And

30:18

then when I was in college, in

30:21

post-college, I was a counselor to

30:24

high schoolers and middle schoolers.

30:26

So I was doing it when I was a camp counselor for little

30:28

kids. Every Friday was pizza

30:30

day. And the food I'm going for

30:33

is when all of the kids have gotten

30:35

their slices,

30:37

but there's still pizza in the box. So

30:39

now it's the counselors can have free

30:42

reign over these very thinly

30:44

sliced pizzas. So all these

30:46

little kids can have a slice. And those were just like,

30:49

you know, because we were kids too,

30:51

and we're watching this and we're giving

30:53

pizza out very thin

30:55

slices. We're like, are we going to get any today? Because

30:58

some days there was enough left. Sometimes there was

31:00

enough

31:01

left. But when there was enough left for all the counselors

31:03

to have a slice of that, I'm choosing it.

31:05

I'm choosing a leftover pizza. Nice.

31:08

Leftover pizza. Nothing to say, everyone. You,

31:11

you, well, you painted a nice story, but it is

31:13

leftover pizza. Yeah. Yeah.

31:16

I mean, that's what I said. I'm going to regret this, but it was, you know, it's,

31:19

it's yeah, I think you're regretting it currently. I

31:22

think you're going to keep regretting it. I think when you hear

31:24

some of the summer foods we pick, you're going to be like, oh,

31:27

a thin, a thin slice of pizza is

31:29

not really probably not that

31:31

hot by the time you get it. Yeah. No,

31:33

it's quite, it's quite room temperature. Yeah.

31:36

When like, when like you could have picked a lobster

31:38

roll or you could have picked. Oh,

31:41

wait, I didn't even fucking think of, no, can I take

31:43

it back? Or like, or like a fresh year

31:45

of corn. No, no, Tim, Tim,

31:48

see, because Tim, you picked my beach

31:50

vacations were an ocean city, Maryland,

31:52

and you're not going to, no, I'm not

31:54

going to do it. Don't worry. No,

31:57

but you, Tim, it's you've already made your selection. If you

31:59

want to pick.

31:59

crabs later on. Yeah. As

32:02

a wild card, go ahead. Okay, well,

32:04

okay. I'm proud of what I

32:07

did. I'm proud of what I did. Something

32:09

about experiences.

32:11

Wait till I tell you about the wonderful

32:13

times my whole family had

32:15

picking apart crabs. Just

32:18

kidding. I

32:20

mean, it is a treasured memory. I didn't like

32:22

crabs. I would get popcorn chicken.

32:25

Yep. But

32:27

that's not my choice. Which I would call kind of a summer

32:29

food.

32:30

Yeah, well, it was the year they debuted at KFC.

32:33

I remember some new deal. Anyway, that's

32:35

not my memory. It's not my food memory.

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38:32

All right, so Tim, are you done? I'm done. Yeah.

38:34

You're done with your cold, thinly sliced

38:36

pizza. Yes. Room temperature?

38:39

Yeah, room temperature, thinly sliced pizza.

38:41

Hasn't gone cold yet. Ignored by children.

38:44

Great. Strong pick. Really

38:46

strong pick. Cold, probably mushroom, because

38:49

it's what's left over. Fuck off. You're

38:51

there not ordering mushroom for kids and it's cheese.

38:54

It's all cheese. Not even pepperoni.

38:57

It's just cheese.

38:59

I'm going to go with a wild card, and this is

39:02

going to be one that's specific, but

39:04

I think it's really critical to the kind of summer

39:06

I'm going for. But it's

39:09

going to take a little backstory, because

39:11

as

39:12

I said, I

39:15

grew up in a beach town, and

39:17

yet every summer for two

39:20

weeks we would go away to

39:22

a family friend's house

39:25

on Cape Cod, which you're going to say

39:27

to me, oh, sounds beachy, but this house was

39:30

inland. There's a lot of actually

39:32

inland in Cape Cod, and this was basically,

39:35

this house was in a far woodsier

39:37

area than the house I grew up in.

39:40

And so we always laughed about the irony

39:42

of that, that we would leave the beach and get

39:44

away, but it was nice to get out of the house. It was nice

39:46

to have

39:47

a change of pace in the summer. But one

39:50

of the features of this house that

39:53

was really horizon

39:56

broadening for me as a boy was

39:58

that the street on dead-ended

40:01

on the Cape Cod rail trail, which

40:04

is a network of bike trails that extends throughout

40:07

Cape Cod. And whenever

40:10

we would go down to this house, my

40:12

mom would be like, go ride your bike, go

40:16

wherever. And so

40:19

the house I grew up in was kind of isolated, but having

40:22

this access meant I could ride my bike to

40:24

town. I could go to different towns. 12 years

40:27

old. Wow. I could

40:29

do whatever I wanted. And so that freedom

40:32

that the access of a convenient bike

40:34

trail provided is I'm

40:36

going to select a bike trail for

40:39

this pick. That's good.

40:41

That's lovely.

40:42

That's a nice story

40:43

and a good item. Thank you, Chris. Thank

40:46

you. There's no negative connotations.

40:48

I never fell. You know? You

40:51

never got lost? No. Never got kidnapped?

40:54

Never got kidnapped that I remember. Okay.

40:56

Good. Did

40:59

you ever get too far away from home and you were like,

41:01

I'm too far and that got you

41:03

scared? No, I was always

41:06

ready for independence. Okay, cool.

41:09

I was always very capable and very, very

41:11

ready.

41:14

The summer camp that I worked

41:16

at was very much that for me, which was that I

41:19

would go work at a Boy Scout camp and

41:22

stayed overnight. And it was very much like there

41:25

was very little adult supervision. It

41:27

felt like a preview

41:29

of living in a dorm, you know, outside.

41:32

And it was like, oh, this is great. I love

41:35

being completely on my own at 14 years old.

41:38

Yeah. I had that experience in

41:41

high school summers being

41:43

extremely cool and going to speech and debate

41:46

camp. And we would stay

41:48

at

41:49

dorms at the University of Texas

41:52

and the counselors who were responsible for

41:55

us were college students

41:57

who had been campers

41:59

the year before. So so

42:01

the inmates were running the asylum in every respect

42:03

and I was just in the city of Austin at 15 with

42:09

Lots of with lots of leeway

42:11

Yeah, but anyways, I killed

42:14

a man in Texas Chris. No,

42:16

we don't have to talk about it. Yeah I know everyone

42:18

knows that's a little autumnal for major. It

42:20

was in July. Yeah Find

42:24

out feels pretty autumn. They never did

42:26

feels Halloween spooky

42:28

But you didn't pick it you didn't pick it you're

42:30

just talking about this big. All right. Here

42:33

is my water choice I killed

42:36

him with a poison ice cream cone. So it's very summer. Oh Okay,

42:39

there. Yeah.

42:40

All right, so going out swimming

42:43

in the ocean and You

42:45

get caught in the tide

42:47

and it's yanking you out to sea but

42:51

you know to swim

42:55

Parallel with the shore and

42:58

it might take you a half hour or

43:00

an hour But you

43:02

get back to the beach safe

43:05

Proud that this knowledge Genuinely

43:08

saved your life.

43:09

Although probably just some embarrassment.

43:11

Mm-hmm And then it's a long

43:14

long hike back down the beach

43:16

to where your family is and they

43:18

didn't even notice you were Has this happened

43:20

to you? Yeah, it happened to me. Really?

43:22

Yeah that happened Wow It was I was

43:25

really proud that I was like, oh, I

43:27

know what to do and it worked I'm

43:30

proud whenever I avoid death Honest,

43:33

I mean There were lifeguards again

43:36

if I had gotten too far out. I'm

43:38

something I would have been fine. How old were you?

43:41

10 Wow You're

43:43

like fucking Johnny quest or something. I guess

43:47

it was just a very resourceful ten-year-old. That's

43:49

a scout Yeah, I mean it was I

43:51

learned it through the scouts. I'm quite sure that here's

43:53

my question because I know that advice Intellectually,

43:56

but I've never been caught in a rip current. How

43:58

did you know that you?

43:59

you were safe to go

44:02

in. Oh, you

44:04

can feel it release you.

44:06

You can feel when you swam out of it. You, when

44:08

you swam out of it, you can tell when you're

44:10

in one. Cause you can feel like you just,

44:12

you feel it pulling you. It feels very, it

44:15

feels very similar to being in

44:17

like a flowing river.

44:20

Oh, okay. You just, you just don't have control

44:23

and fighting it is, is utterly futile.

44:26

So yeah, but I was like, and it did, it felt insane.

44:29

It absolutely felt the same. I was like, I can't believe

44:31

I'm

44:31

just swimming parallel to the shore. And

44:33

by the way, the tide still has you. So while

44:36

you're,

44:37

you're swimming parallel to the shore, you're

44:39

actually swimming diagonally away from the

44:41

shore. It's still got you. Yeah.

44:43

So do you swim with the current?

44:45

No, you swim perpendicular to

44:47

it. So the current is pulling you directly out from

44:49

the shore and you're swimming, the current is pulling you towards

44:52

the horizon. Great. Okay.

44:54

Wow. Yeah. And it's very

44:56

scary at first. And then, but yeah, it was like,

44:59

uh, actually doing it. It was like, oh wow,

45:01

this, this actually worked. I don't know. And

45:03

it was such a long walk back

45:06

because I was stuck doing this for

45:08

what felt like forever. Now here's my follow

45:10

up and I'm sorry, Tim, we'll get to you. Where,

45:14

where were these lifeguards? I think I

45:16

never got far enough

45:18

sucked out that it looked like it was a problem.

45:20

I think I, interesting. I think I

45:22

was doing the right thing quickly enough that

45:25

it didn't look like I was really getting out

45:27

there. I assume because

45:29

they were pretty on top of yelling at anybody

45:31

who swam out too far. Interesting. All

45:34

right. Well, I mean, you've, you both

45:36

have picked some, like some picks

45:38

that come with a downside or with danger

45:40

or with melancholy, so I'm really

45:42

interested to how these summer vacations are shaping up, but

45:44

I'm glad you're not sugarcoating them and I want

45:46

to hear your next pick. All right. It's

45:48

time for me to bring my food. Oh shit.

45:51

It's a shaved ice slash

45:54

snowball slash snow cone, whatever

45:56

it is. You may call it.

45:58

It is crucial that it is not.

46:00

A crunchy style snow cone.

46:02

It is a very soft and luxurious Iced

46:06

treat that is then dressed specifically

46:09

with the flavor of syrup called tiger

46:12

blood. Yes So

46:14

I would get half tiger blood half. I

46:17

think Lime, I think that

46:19

tiger blood was a nice combo. I

46:21

found the tiger blood flavor To

46:24

be so addictive. Yeah, it

46:27

was crazy. I don't know what it's like a strawberry coconut

46:29

Is that what it is? I couldn't tell you I

46:31

don't know right? I

46:33

know but the the I don't know if you were version

46:35

But the guy that we always had and we were kids

46:38

you'd throw a little Swedish fish in

46:40

the middle of it That's so fun. Oh, yeah,

46:43

it was really fun. Wow.

46:44

That's great

46:45

No, I did not have that

46:47

where we get at the the boardwalk or

46:49

again in Ocean City. Yeah

46:51

I want that right now. I know right Tigers

46:55

blood I Heard

46:58

are you back to me? Yeah, I none

47:01

of us have picked a song yet I know and there's

47:03

one I'm thinking of that like I I Want

47:06

to pick early but I also don't know if

47:08

it's actually my pick But I also feel like if it

47:10

gets taken on me, I'm gonna be mad But

47:13

I don't think I'm ready to make it but I just want to

47:15

throw that down that none of us have picked Yeah,

47:17

yeah that yet. Okay.

47:19

Okay. This one's tough because I

47:23

feel like Tim

47:25

has Taken bonfire.

47:28

Mm-hmm. Yeah, Tim

47:31

has taken bonfire. So I'm gonna I'm gonna leave I'm gonna

47:33

leave something Can we hear what we

47:35

can hear what you know, cuz I don't want to give you ideas.

47:37

Ooh I'm

47:39

going to select as my food At

47:43

my beach house, you know, we're gonna like that

47:45

grill. We're gonna have some dogs. Oh Hot

47:48

dogs hot dogs take

47:50

them keep them go for it. Yeah,

47:53

I will throw some mustard on them.

47:55

Yeah, that's great

47:56

Great summer food Tim.

47:58

Hey go for better than a thin slice of

48:00

old pizza room

48:02

temperature. You can take your attitude. I've picked

48:05

a classic summer food, a classic summer

48:07

barbecue food. Sure,

48:10

sure, sure, sure, sure. You

48:13

know what's great, other hot dog? One

48:15

Swedish fish. Oh, come on. Talk

48:18

about some sauerkraut.

48:20

Yeah, sure. Yeah, definitely, man. Just

48:22

throwing it out there. I like a brown mustard.

48:25

Yeah, for sure. A grainy mustard. Well,

48:27

it doesn't have to be grainy. I am absolutely

48:30

apeshit for a Chicago dog.

48:33

God, I love them. Pickle,

48:35

giardiniera, mustard,

48:38

white onion, relish. Yeah.

48:42

Long hots. I have hot dog takes

48:44

that we don't need to get into right now. Sure.

48:47

But you're entitled to your opinion. Thanks. So,

48:50

if I may? Yeah,

48:52

Tim. I mean, yeah, I

48:54

get it. I think we're all

48:56

reckoning with the fact that I picked hot dog, but go ahead.

48:59

Yeah, please. Anything else about hot dog you

49:01

want to broach out there? I do want to stipulate,

49:03

actually, this hot dog is going to have

49:06

a griddled New England style bun.

49:08

Cool. Yeah, of course. Nice and

49:11

buttery. That's good. And toppings of

49:13

your imagination.

49:14

Sauerkraut. Okay.

49:17

So, for water. Oh, okay, great. Ooh,

49:19

here we go. For water. I'm going to

49:21

pick my water. Here's how it is. You

49:24

and your friends, your crew.

49:27

They're doing something else. Maybe

49:30

you're at the basketball court. Oh,

49:32

okay. Maybe you're fishing. Oh,

49:35

all right. Maybe

49:37

you just grab an ice cream. Hmm. A

49:39

place, you know, there's ice cream. These are all nice.

49:42

And one of you notices this

49:45

little creek over there. Let's go look at it. You

49:47

go look at the creek. Now, remember, you're dressed for something

49:49

else. You are dressed for being

49:51

outside with your friends. You're not wearing a

49:53

bathing suit.

49:54

Maybe you're wearing sandals.

49:57

Certainly not wearing water sandals. Maybe wearing shoes.

50:00

Maybe someone's barefoot weirdly enough.

50:02

Playing basketball? Okay. See

50:04

this creek? You all step towards the creek

50:07

a little bit. You look up, you realize this

50:09

creek goes kind of far.

50:12

Do we have to... I don't have to do anything. I

50:14

don't gotta be... Let's

50:17

just walk down this

50:19

creek for a while. And then you're

50:21

just walking down this creek, you're slipping,

50:23

you're getting a little wet,

50:25

your pants that maybe weren't supposed to get

50:27

wet or getting a little bit wet, and

50:28

you're seeing crawfish, you're

50:30

seeing some frogs, you're seeing

50:33

some fish. You get into little areas

50:35

where you can actually skip a little stone here for great

50:37

stones for skipping. I'm talking

50:39

about accidentally exploring

50:41

a creek with your crew when you weren't

50:44

playing too and you get a little too

50:46

wet. That's nice. And

50:49

you get a little too wet. And

50:51

you get a little too wet. That's

50:54

my

50:55

choice. That's very pleasant. Yeah. You

50:57

stand by me vibes. Yeah, what are you gonna

51:00

find out there? The body

51:02

of that guy that Joe killed. Well, one time

51:04

that happened, we found the skull

51:07

of what was either a bat or I think

51:11

it was probably a bat.

51:12

We found a skull. We did find a skull.

51:15

That was pretty cool. That is cool.

51:18

And we saved it all summer and

51:20

brought it into school next year to show our teacher. Your

51:23

teacher must have thought you were cool. It

51:25

was cool. Look what we found. She's

51:27

like, wow. Did you clean it? We said

51:29

no, but we got in this plastic bag the whole time. She's like, all right.

51:31

She's like, wow. Do you want to be like

51:33

friends after this? Like when we're done, you're

51:35

so cool. Oh, I mean, I'm just going

51:37

to sixth grade next year. It's a different school. I

51:39

don't know if we'll be around, but. Oh,

51:42

sorry. I

51:44

only hang out with my students. 50 year

51:46

olds. Yeah.

51:49

Yeah. Right. Oh, but I

51:51

get two, right? Oh, God. Yeah. You're

51:55

on the bumper. You're in the car. This is, I think your fifth

51:57

pick, Tim. So like, you know.

52:00

Make your picks, you know, like get them in. Remember,

52:03

we have six total, right? Yeah. This is your

52:05

last time picking two. So am I going for my

52:07

wild card or am I going for song?

52:09

This is the question. I've

52:11

got two songs in

52:13

my brain. So I'm going to let my

52:15

song go. Wow. And

52:19

wait to see how you all pick. And I'm going to

52:21

go for a wild card that you all

52:23

all going to tear me apart

52:26

for this one. You're all going to say you fucking idiot.

52:29

But I just actually, maybe

52:31

you're all well, we'll see. Maybe you'll challenge

52:34

me on this pizza again, warmer

52:36

and skinnier than the last time. I'm

52:40

going for that same pizza the next day. And

52:42

this time it is cold.

52:45

I'm talking about you're out late.

52:48

Maybe you're by the water, maybe not. You

52:51

didn't expect to be out this late and

52:53

you're a little cold, but

52:55

someone's got an extra hoodie. Wow. This

52:58

could even be a first to that time

53:00

when you're like, oh, I forgot. It's

53:02

been so nice. I forgot that it actually gets cold

53:05

at night here sometimes. And I'm wearing

53:07

shorts.

53:08

Like I'm still a little cold. I'm wearing maybe wearing a tank

53:10

top. Maybe I don't have a shirt. Someone

53:12

has a hoodie and it's perfect. So

53:15

you're at night. Maybe you even buy the bonfire that

53:18

perfect. I

53:20

was planning for things to be hotter than they are. Now it's

53:22

night and I need something else. But the perfect

53:25

garments right there. That's what I'm choosing. That's

53:27

beautiful. Fucking idiot. Go for

53:29

it. Tell me a new one. You could have picked like six flags,

53:31

but that's really beautiful. Hey, I have my own thing.

53:33

And I was worried that many of you, maybe you guys might challenge

53:36

me for being too autumnal, but I don't think

53:38

I think this is like classic summer. You

53:40

know, you could have picked six flags. I don't

53:42

like six flags. You don't like six flags.

53:45

I don't like theme parks. Wow.

53:49

This is getting too autumnal. We've talked about

53:51

this. Oh,

53:54

no, that sounds nice, Tim. Actually, that

53:55

sounds nice. You all

53:58

like it. You all like it. I only I'm gonna

54:00

react in that way because you told us to.

54:02

Well, it's not the fucking idiot. You fucking idiot. Well,

54:04

it's not the fucking idiot. So I guess I was worried that it was gonna be torn apart for

54:06

not being too flashy. Aw, too... Too

54:10

flashy. Too flashy. All right. I'm

54:12

gonna go. Mm-hmm. I love your hoodie

54:14

pic. I'm thrilled at your

54:17

pics that would never intersect with my own,

54:19

leaving me a wide runway. I

54:22

don't want my last pic to be a song,

54:24

so I'm gonna make my song pic now. Okay. I

54:27

also have to recognize that my

54:30

summer vacation is really... I

54:32

don't wanna give away my theme, but I think we can all tell

54:35

that my summer vacation is really honing

54:37

in on a certain time in my

54:39

own life, a certain age range. So

54:42

my song pic is going to be

54:45

with

54:45

the boys of summer. Which one? As

54:48

performed by the Ataris. That

54:50

was literally the one I was gonna pick, and I was like,

54:52

I need to do this because someone else is gonna take it, and

54:55

there you go.

54:56

We're talking a black flag sticker on that Cadillac.

54:59

Yeah. I mean, I think it's a strong pic. It's...

55:02

It is. It's classic rock, but also

55:04

it's new. It's of summer. The boys of summer,

55:07

come on. Yeah.

55:08

But

55:09

wait. Wait a minute. What? Let's

55:11

listen a little closer. No, we don't have to. Boys

55:14

of summer are

55:14

gone, which means it's...

55:16

Fall? No. It's

55:18

autumn? The boys of summer are gone. I don't

55:21

know. Yeah, but you got that hair slick back.

55:24

What's that? Your brown skin shining

55:26

in the sun. That's a memory he expresses

55:28

in this song. Yeah, that's true,

55:31

actually. Are you really gonna make

55:33

the argument that the boys of summer is not a summer?

55:35

Enough song? I'm not, but I do think

55:38

it... It's not about being summer

55:40

enough. There being a rule here about

55:43

things that lean to autumnal

55:46

being demerits. Now, I'm not gonna make the argument.

55:48

I'm letting you have it. I'm just saying that

55:50

someone could make this argument very aggressively.

55:54

And it wouldn't be ridiculous. I'm just being a little

55:56

summer stinker. Of course I understand the

55:58

song is about...

55:59

a nostalgia for summer, which is what

56:02

we're talking about. We're doing yes.

56:04

Sunglasses on baby. Of course.

56:06

Yeah. Good. All right. Yeah, just just having

56:08

fun with it. Good.

56:10

I'm sorry this ruined our friendship. I

56:12

have to go. All

56:15

right. Unbelievable. I'm

56:17

going to go for my second wild card,

56:19

which is a mini golf

56:22

facility

56:23

that has an

56:25

outdoor course that

56:27

is caveman prehistoric

56:30

dinosaur themed. Yeah. OK. And

56:32

an inside air conditioned

56:34

course

56:36

that is under the sea

56:38

themed. Yeah. Complete with

56:40

cool caves and a pirate ship that you golf

56:42

on. That's amazing. Think

56:44

that's an ocean city. Yeah, I think

56:46

I think it is. Anyway,

56:49

you can spend a day at that that place. And

56:51

let me ask, is the 18th

56:53

hole like

56:56

a cool little trick where you lose the ball.

56:58

If you get a hold of one, you lose the ball. If it

57:00

not, it looks sort of either

57:03

way. You're not going to fall back in the 18th hole. Right.

57:05

The 18 hole is the ball return. Yeah.

57:07

Yeah. And if you hit the target, you get a free

57:09

game, which I did once one

57:12

time in my entire life. And but

57:14

I'm like, well, I don't I don't want to come.

57:16

I'm only here for a week. I don't want to come back to mini

57:18

golf again. Yeah, tomorrow.

57:20

I did it, which is

57:23

how to get you. Yeah. Great pick.

57:25

No notes, no notes. I mean, really strong summer

57:27

pick. Thank you. Thank you. And my

57:30

my final pick, Tim, take note. My

57:32

song

57:33

is when you get on the

57:36

scrambler ride

57:37

at the the little amusement park.

57:40

No. In the arcade and

57:41

it's thriller.

57:43

OK. OK. I mean, I

57:45

mean, again, I'm not going to make this argument, but I will

57:48

say that thriller. Spooky

57:50

song. Why do you think I did

57:53

this last? I built an entire

57:55

case for this summer vacation.

57:58

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That has. on

58:00

a loop.

58:02

I hear you. On the scrambler. If I

58:04

threw that first, yeah, you could toss it immediately

58:06

for being too autumnal.

58:08

I've built a supporting argument.

58:10

Wow, Chris, this is very close. Well,

58:13

you'll see, but I was scared for a second. Interesting,

58:15

very interesting, okay. I

58:17

have to make my final pick. Yeah. And

58:20

this

58:22

is what's coming to mind. So I'm gonna do it. Wow.

58:25

I'm thinking a lot about your pick, Tim, of

58:29

reading the book that everyone's been

58:32

talking about. And I'm

58:34

going to inspire by that a

58:36

little bit. My final pick

58:39

is going to be cramming

58:40

in all your summer reading until the last

58:42

week of summer. You're picking

58:45

that. That's- Yeah, I'm picking that. This is the pleasure.

58:48

Yes, well, it allowed me

58:50

to ignore it for the whole rest of summer. So

58:53

I could- So you're talking about the tactics of doing that. And

58:55

again, too cool.

58:57

So I could read what I wanted to because

58:59

Redwall wasn't on the summer reading list, you

59:01

know? Yeah, so this is more about the

59:03

tactic rather than the experience of doing that. Yes,

59:05

yes, okay, okay, yes. The tactic of forgetting

59:09

and ignoring and putting off until

59:11

the last minute. Well, Joe, if I

59:13

can say, if what this tactic is being

59:16

used for is to give you more time

59:18

to read fucking Redwall, that's pretty

59:20

fucking autumnal.

59:22

Oh no.

59:26

Tim, those books took place in all seasons. Yeah, that's

59:28

true. You know, they had- Not in

59:30

my memory, they didn't. No,

59:33

there were plenty of summer. There were plenty of summer

59:35

feasts, my friend. Okay, okay. There

59:38

were plenty of odes to summer.

59:40

Okay. Plenty of poems about

59:43

Martin the warrior enjoying a cold

59:45

lemonade. Okay, cool. Or

59:48

an elderberry cordial. I

59:51

wouldn't say no. Or a dandelion, whatever

59:53

drink.

59:54

Okay, my final. Yes, son. So,

59:57

thought about doing Boyz II the Summer. Bye, the Atari.

1:00:00

and it was going to be taken and knew that it would be

1:00:02

a cheap shot to choose the original

1:00:04

after the Atari was taken. So I'm not taking that. Thought

1:00:07

about taking Wrong Way. Sure.

1:00:12

By Sublime. Thought about taking Santeria.

1:00:14

By Sublime. Sure. Specifically

1:00:17

the cover bands playing that all the fucking time. But

1:00:20

then I remembered a song I

1:00:22

heard during the summer that I just

1:00:25

remember it stuck with

1:00:27

me. And Chris, you just give me for a second

1:00:29

because I'm talking about going on the

1:00:31

Gravitron. Uh oh. For

1:00:33

the first time. Whoa. Kind

1:00:35

of scared of the Gravitron. A little too young.

1:00:38

Apparently it might make you throw up.

1:00:41

Yeah. We all know what the Gravitron is. Yeah.

1:00:43

It's the centrifuge that you put people in. Yeah.

1:00:46

Centrifuge that you put people in. Sixes of the wall. I

1:00:49

get in this Gravitron. Now my parents,

1:00:51

my parents didn't come on. They're not going to come on. You can go on

1:00:53

yourself,

1:00:54

go to your cousin.

1:00:56

You're on it. It starts spinning

1:00:58

around. Gravitron, it

1:01:00

spins for one song. That's

1:01:02

how much time it takes. Yeah. And I don't

1:01:04

know if it's different songs every time or if it's,

1:01:06

they just play the one song over and over again. But

1:01:09

when I did this Gravitron, it was Bolero.

1:01:14

It was Intergalactic by the Beastie Boys.

1:01:17

Oh. Nice. That's a great Boardwalk

1:01:20

song.

1:01:20

And so imagine all the Gravitron spinning around,

1:01:23

everything's beeping around. And

1:01:25

you're hearing all these three

1:01:27

voices coming up in sync with

1:01:30

each other

1:01:31

with that. That's a big song

1:01:38

of the summer for me. Great. Beastie

1:01:40

Boys know you let the beat drop.

1:01:44

If the case were to be made, the case would be like that

1:01:46

that song belongs to no season, but I'm not going to

1:01:48

make it. I think it's a strong choice. Yeah, give a context. Because

1:01:51

I heard on the Gravitron.

1:01:53

Did we all pick? That's it.

1:01:55

We're done. We've made our choices. Did

1:01:58

you have any backup songs? Because I had a backup song. that

1:02:00

I almost went with, but really would have, I think,

1:02:02

colored the mood of my whole slate,

1:02:05

which I almost went with Night

1:02:07

Swimming by R.E.M. Oh, yeah,

1:02:09

beautiful. It's fun. A more

1:02:11

wistful summer song. Yeah.

1:02:14

I thought I used to do My Sunshine. I

1:02:18

do love Christopher

1:02:19

Cross Sailing. I

1:02:21

associate that with

1:02:23

a drive to the shore

1:02:26

with the windows down.

1:02:27

Yeah. All right. Can we run through our

1:02:29

full slate? Tim, give us everything. Okay.

1:02:32

So for food, I've got leftover

1:02:35

room temperature pizza after you've given them out to

1:02:37

all the campers. And you're not

1:02:39

sure if there's going to be any left for you guys. And if there's not any left for

1:02:41

you guys, it means you're going to have to find something else for lunch, but until

1:02:43

you get this. For water,

1:02:45

I'm getting accidentally

1:02:47

exploring a creek with your boys, with

1:02:50

your friends, but for my case, it was the boys. First,

1:02:53

it was First Bonfire the summer

1:02:55

song. I went with Intergalactic by the Beastie Boys

1:02:57

on the Gravitron for the first time. You

1:02:59

were on the Gravitron as a kid. For

1:03:02

Wild Card, I went with that book that

1:03:04

you've put off reading, but everyone's been reading. But now it's

1:03:06

the summer, so it seems it's time to read it. And it's actually perfect

1:03:08

for the summer and the perfect book to read. And someone's

1:03:11

reading it with you. I also did that

1:03:14

moment you've been out all day and actually not quite dressed for

1:03:16

that. You were dressed for the day, but now you're dressed

1:03:18

for the evening, but someone has a hoodie that you get to put on

1:03:20

and it's perfect. And what I would argue my theme

1:03:23

is,

1:03:24

is

1:03:27

anticipation. Wow.

1:03:30

Oh, man.

1:03:33

Anticipation and satisfaction.

1:03:36

Wow. After anticipation. That's

1:03:39

fun. Great pick, great pick. All

1:03:41

right. My rundown is your

1:03:44

first kiss, a beach

1:03:46

house,

1:03:48

a bike trail,

1:03:51

hot dogs,

1:03:54

the boys of summer by the Ataris,

1:03:58

and saving all summer to cram

1:04:00

in

1:04:01

your summer reading in the last week

1:04:03

because you were reading other shit the whole rest

1:04:05

of the summer. I know, so you're not saying Red Bull this time.

1:04:08

It

1:04:11

was Redwall. It was off at Redwall. Also,

1:04:14

I remember there's like Marvel novels. He

1:04:17

was like, the Fantastic Four go on a 500

1:04:19

page prose adventure. Yes. I

1:04:22

remember reading them. I do not remember a single

1:04:25

plot detail and I read a lot of those books.

1:04:27

I read more Spider-Man in those novels than I did

1:04:29

in the comics. I read one of those

1:04:31

novels. The only thing I remember is there is that

1:04:33

character of Paste Pot Pete. Yeah,

1:04:36

of course. And they made fun of his name a few

1:04:38

times. I've never seen him in the comics

1:04:40

since.

1:04:41

Oh, Tim, I put him in Gwenpool. Really?

1:04:45

Yeah. That's amazing. I recently,

1:04:47

I picked up a reprint of

1:04:50

one of those novels from the 90s and it

1:04:53

was like, the novel was broken

1:04:56

up into books and each book had like

1:04:58

a began with like a quote from like William

1:05:01

Shakespeare and then like Socrates

1:05:03

and then like Dr. Henry McCoy.

1:05:06

That's very funny. That's great.

1:05:08

Super good. Yeah. Those

1:05:11

are my picks. All right. Let's see

1:05:13

if I can remember these. Okay. First

1:05:15

time having vinegar on the boardwalk fries,

1:05:18

making a new friend and discovering

1:05:21

they're kind of weird and now you're stuck with them

1:05:23

for the whole week. Going to

1:05:26

the indoor, outdoor putt-putt

1:05:28

golf place. Shaved

1:05:30

ice with tiger blood.

1:05:34

Out swimming a riptide. And

1:05:39

thriller

1:05:40

on the scrambler.

1:05:43

Great. Great. Listeners. Oh,

1:05:46

I forgot to say my theme. Yes.

1:05:49

Northern City, Maryland, 1994. There

1:05:51

we go. Oh yeah. And I also

1:05:53

forgot to say my theme, which

1:05:55

is Cape Cod 2003. Okay.

1:05:59

There we go.

1:06:00

maybe instead of a theme, it should have been a

1:06:02

place in a year. But

1:06:05

Tim just has anticipation and Chris

1:06:07

and I have. Tim, yeah, Tim's was

1:06:10

far more poetic in the end. I was just trying

1:06:12

to find the best specifics from childhood

1:06:14

memories. Great. Okay. So

1:06:17

I think listeners, I think you should have a vicious

1:06:19

and loud debate over who had the best

1:06:22

summer. Yes. And I think, but now

1:06:24

what we're going to do is I think we're going to send

1:06:26

these lists

1:06:28

to Carly and Allie

1:06:30

and Branson. Wow.

1:06:32

And we'll edit in them announcing who

1:06:34

they choose has the best summer.

1:06:38

We will.

1:06:39

Yeah. Cool. I

1:06:41

decided that right

1:06:42

now. So we're going to edit that in in three,

1:06:44

two, one. Hello

1:06:48

sports fans of the podcast,

1:06:50

Roo Tales of Magic and also

1:06:52

fans of Summer Draft and also fans.

1:06:56

Oh, just fans in general, just

1:06:58

enthusiastic folk.

1:07:00

Summer fans. Summer plan

1:07:03

fans. It's your friends. Friends?

1:07:05

You don't fucking know us from Adam. Ultimately,

1:07:08

you think you do, but you've just, all

1:07:10

you've ever met is the mask. It's

1:07:12

Carly and Branson.

1:07:16

Oh, somebody

1:07:18

stop us? Somebody

1:07:21

stop you from forming an attachment to it. You've

1:07:23

never been there and supported me while I cried

1:07:25

or struggled. You have no right to call

1:07:27

yourself a friend. Summer.

1:07:32

We're talking summer. Summer, the

1:07:34

season of crabs. Crabs

1:07:39

are a year long animal, really.

1:07:41

They're not migratory. But

1:07:44

they are a Zodiac

1:07:47

emblem. My Zodiac emblem

1:07:50

actually. So there you go.

1:07:52

And my Zodiac emblem, the

1:07:54

scale. I'm a Libra in this riff.

1:07:58

I believe it's more. to withhold

1:08:01

your actual zodiac side so people, so

1:08:03

that when you tell people, you're like, guess what

1:08:05

I am? And they guess and you say, no, I'm actually

1:08:08

this. And even though they just guessed wrong, they go, oh,

1:08:10

I knew it.

1:08:14

I believe that's moral to do, to

1:08:16

humiliate people who believe in a harmless thing.

1:08:19

I denied myself the opportunity to

1:08:21

engage in that by telling you I am a

1:08:23

cancer. And I,

1:08:25

of course, am a Sagittarius. We're

1:08:29

talking summer plans, this

1:08:31

voice. All right, we're talking summer plans.

1:08:33

We're talking summer plans. Summer drafts.

1:08:35

Thank you. Summer drafts. So

1:08:37

at this point, the listener, I'm

1:08:40

dumb, the listener has already heard

1:08:43

Chris and Joe and Tim's drafts.

1:08:45

Yeah, this is the end of the episode. Okay,

1:08:48

great. And so what's exciting about this

1:08:50

for us, Carly, is the listener has already

1:08:53

just naturally decided who won

1:08:55

in their own head.

1:08:57

Yes. So now we get to come on and tell

1:08:59

them they're wrong. Yeah, yeah.

1:09:01

And statistically,

1:09:04

it's impossible that none of you will be wrong. Yeah,

1:09:07

yeah, you guys will agree on everything that we have

1:09:09

to say here. And also, you're gonna

1:09:11

be able to get, you could guess easily.

1:09:16

It was, you could put your entire

1:09:18

life savings on what we're gonna say now, and you

1:09:20

would, you'd hit it unless you're so

1:09:22

dumb. You'd hit it. You'd double it. Right,

1:09:25

that's how it works. Absolutely, yeah. The

1:09:27

Vegas odds are not good on this, really. You

1:09:29

wouldn't even double, you'd just get your money back

1:09:32

in like $10. You'd be like, yeah, everyone did that.

1:09:34

Yeah, oh, that's how it works.

1:09:37

Well, yeah, because then otherwise, it's awful

1:09:40

for the house, you know? I guess

1:09:42

I was mentally in a world where

1:09:44

it was awful for the house and I was enjoying

1:09:46

that for... Oh, sure,

1:09:49

oh, Carly, I got bad news for you. The house,

1:09:51

she always wins. Oh, no.

1:09:55

Unless we're talking about music

1:09:57

genres, house is not where it...

1:10:00

used to be. Or doctors.

1:10:03

Oh, we're talking you're talking the doctor. Yeah,

1:10:06

who's you're not canceled. They just

1:10:08

I think they went off on their own. Yeah,

1:10:10

I just don't know. It was canceled. Like,

1:10:14

do you mean socially or culturally

1:10:16

canceled? I

1:10:18

think they're done, right? Well,

1:10:21

they ended, but it's one of those like Seinfeld

1:10:23

where he was like, I'm out of here. I'm done. Or

1:10:25

was it that was like no one's watching house? That

1:10:27

was the biggest show on television

1:10:29

for like four or five years.

1:10:32

I saw one episode and it was

1:10:34

like I didn't know what I was watching. It was like, why

1:10:36

is Dave Matthews here? And it was an

1:10:38

episode of House.

1:10:39

That's a shocking episode, too.

1:10:41

Dave Matthews is playing like a like a savant

1:10:44

type character who like is barely verbal, but is

1:10:46

like a musical genius.

1:10:48

Yeah. And he's like, I like music. And I was like,

1:10:50

yeah, I know you're famous for

1:10:52

that. And also a weird.

1:10:54

That's like a weird like guest star thing because House

1:10:57

is like strangely sympathetic

1:10:59

and sensitive to him, which he like otherwise never

1:11:01

is at all. Yeah, this was

1:11:03

like I I was in a rental

1:11:05

house during San Diego Comic Con

1:11:08

and I had like gotten the flu. So

1:11:10

I think I passed out after I was like,

1:11:12

that's Dave Matthews.

1:11:13

That's the target demo of House these days.

1:11:17

Flu written Comic Con attendees. Yeah,

1:11:20

I think it's but that's like a weird like

1:11:22

in shows when they'll do a like a band

1:11:24

shows up and you can tell that there was like a contract

1:11:27

thing behind the scenes because every character, regardless

1:11:29

of their opinions on other things, will be like, Blake,

1:11:32

when he was here, those guys rock.

1:11:34

Yeah, it's the same when whenever like

1:11:37

an athlete shows up on a sitcom

1:11:39

and then I'm just like, oh, boy, here we go.

1:11:41

They all love this athlete.

1:11:43

Even care, like nerds who don't watch sports

1:11:46

or maybe they'll make a joke

1:11:48

on that or like Cal who can junior.

1:11:52

But only to like to demonstrate that that guy's like a real loser.

1:11:55

Right, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. The joke

1:11:57

is never on the athlete who cannot

1:11:59

act. for the most part. Sometimes though, I was

1:12:01

just talking, I just went to an O's game in San Diego.

1:12:04

When you're talking about, I was like, why is it every baseball player

1:12:07

is like a charisma black hole? You

1:12:09

put them on screen and it's like, I would rather

1:12:11

watch the grass grow. But

1:12:14

every basketball player, there is no such

1:12:16

thing as like a basketball player who doesn't pop on

1:12:18

screen. They're all good on camera, even if they can't

1:12:20

act.

1:12:21

Yeah, that's kind of true. Yeah.

1:12:24

I think there's like a weird, and as much as it's my favorite sport,

1:12:26

there's a weird like cultural conservatism,

1:12:29

streak

1:12:30

in baseball that leads to a lot of

1:12:32

guys who, the tall poppy syndrome,

1:12:35

like guys who like don't want to seem weird in

1:12:37

any way.

1:12:37

It is like a very

1:12:40

Norman Rockwell America. It's

1:12:42

America's best time. Yeah, yeah.

1:12:45

Where's your meanwhile basketball? Cracker Jack. If

1:12:47

you think like the 50, basketball is like leaning on like

1:12:49

a lamppost, like flipping a coin, like

1:12:52

offering America if it wants to smoke.

1:12:55

Do you want to smoke America?

1:12:58

You want a gymnast cigarette? What's

1:13:01

your favorite summer thing? My

1:13:03

favorite summer thing? School's out.

1:13:07

I still to this day, I get excited for summer.

1:13:09

Nothing changes except to get the weather gets like

1:13:12

way worse. Yeah,

1:13:14

it's a little unbearably hot,

1:13:16

but that goes hand in hand with my favorite summer thing,

1:13:18

which is being near a body of water and

1:13:21

getting this splish splash around in it.

1:13:23

Sure. But that's also like

1:13:25

the way water works that's

1:13:27

like a fall thing too.

1:13:30

I wouldn't say no to fall water either.

1:13:32

Cause like, you know what I mean? It's like the water gets

1:13:34

like so, it's like slower,

1:13:36

right? It's slower to heat up. It's like when you

1:13:39

got like the first day that the pools open,

1:13:41

you go in and it's like, Jesus Christ, this is miserable.

1:13:43

It's

1:13:43

like freezing cold. But

1:13:46

that's why pools stay open like way into September

1:13:48

is cause like the water's still warm.

1:13:50

Yeah, yes. I love, I love,

1:13:53

I do love to sizzle a little bit and

1:13:55

then cool off. I do like

1:13:57

a back to school. You come back and. everyone

1:14:00

looks a little different. As a childhood

1:14:02

thing, it's like people's hair is longer or it's

1:14:05

shorter and they've got weird opinions now. Or

1:14:08

like, somebody like, oh, she got hot.

1:14:10

Like that kind of like thing that happens,

1:14:13

that's an exciting,

1:14:14

even though I'd always see my friends all summer.

1:14:16

Yeah. It was like kids I didn't care

1:14:18

that much about. I'd be like, oh yeah,

1:14:21

I guess Thomas got a haircut. Okay.

1:14:24

I had a friend in high school. I

1:14:26

went to an all-girl Catholic high school and we

1:14:29

wore uniforms and yeah, I know.

1:14:32

We, it was the same school. And so, you know who I'm talking

1:14:34

about. She had a skirt, she would always wear her skirt

1:14:36

very long

1:14:37

and like, she just looked, she just looked very conservative.

1:14:40

Like hair pulled back in a bun, big

1:14:43

glasses, no makeup. Like everything

1:14:45

was just a little too big on

1:14:47

her. A real like first act, she's all that. And

1:14:50

it's the first time I've ever seen this work. Like

1:14:53

the first day of school where we just

1:14:55

like weren't in uniform yet for some reason,

1:14:58

she came in and looked completely different.

1:15:00

Like her glasses were off, her hair was down, she

1:15:02

was wearing makeup and it was like, oh, she's

1:15:04

hot. Like I didn't know my friend was hot. Like

1:15:06

it was very weird.

1:15:08

It's a very exciting time in a young person. It's

1:15:10

also to be the person,

1:15:12

to be, I mean, look, sorry, but

1:15:14

you know, I had my own where it was like, oh,

1:15:17

hey, I'm not bad. You know, like that, that

1:15:20

changes everything. Oh yeah, that

1:15:22

didn't happen for me in high school.

1:15:25

I'm sorry to hear it. We're talking the summer dream. For me, I'm

1:15:27

not gonna diminish myself. Yeah, you

1:15:29

shouldn't have to. We're talking summer draft.

1:15:31

All right, so we heard from Tim,

1:15:34

we heard from Joe, we

1:15:36

heard from Chris.

1:15:38

We now- Ally refused to participate.

1:15:41

Ally refused

1:15:44

on moral grounds to participate

1:15:46

in this. Yeah, she was a conscientious objector to, she's

1:15:49

a real winner head. Yeah, because

1:15:52

kissing was mentioned and she said, not

1:15:54

on my watch. Yeah,

1:15:56

the school marm of Roo-Tale, she

1:15:58

tis-tisked us. This is cruel.

1:16:01

She would have been here. No, she would have. She would

1:16:03

have been here. She's just busy. So

1:16:07

no fans. No, Ali Fisher from Root

1:16:09

Tales of Magic. The Ali Fisher. Yeah. Who

1:16:13

we famously haven't a bad word to say

1:16:15

about. So

1:16:18

Branson. Who do you

1:16:20

think won this thing? Well,

1:16:23

so this and this is what will come as no shock

1:16:25

to anyone. They themed theirs,

1:16:28

right? There were themes like there

1:16:30

were Chris's was like the Maryland Boardwalk

1:16:32

like 94. Joe's like Ocean City

1:16:34

Cape Cod 2003. Yeah.

1:16:38

Didn't supply a year. And so my

1:16:40

vote is that Tim has been disqualified. Automatic

1:16:43

last place for Tim. Now, you like

1:16:46

your listeners will know I was going to do this no matter

1:16:48

what. But I did have a halfway decent pretext.

1:16:51

Now, Ali actually

1:16:53

did vote for Tim

1:16:56

as the winner, but he's been disqualified.

1:16:59

That's true. So she know this is

1:17:01

not listeners who have been very patient

1:17:03

with us as we just rift aimlessly before this.

1:17:05

You're not going to like where this is going. Just

1:17:08

heads up right now. You're not going to be satisfied.

1:17:10

I've disqualified Tim.

1:17:12

Ali has voted Tim in first place. That's a now

1:17:15

that is the the chain is it's

1:17:17

a closed loop. Tim has been cast

1:17:20

off into the one dimensional like prison

1:17:23

zone from Superman. He's

1:17:27

both dead and not dead. So

1:17:30

Tim has been sent screaming, hurtling off

1:17:33

into space. Yes. And which

1:17:35

leaves Joe and Chris and

1:17:37

it it isn't going to surprise you

1:17:39

listener about this. I

1:17:42

thought Chris was the winner

1:17:43

and I did. Listen,

1:17:46

this is where you're really going to get pissed because

1:17:49

now what Carly has, there's

1:17:52

an old legal term called

1:17:54

the wife's loophole.

1:17:55

Yes. And so by Carly, by selecting

1:17:58

your husband, you have also.

1:17:59

disqualified your own vote.

1:18:02

Yes, I've disqualified

1:18:04

my self. I am a good

1:18:06

wife, but a bad judge. That's

1:18:09

what this law stipulates.

1:18:10

That's why all judges are unmarried.

1:18:12

Yes. And legal, legal

1:18:15

term. I know we have a lot of criminals

1:18:17

who listen and we love it

1:18:19

that way. We wouldn't have it any other

1:18:22

way. A lot of criminals

1:18:24

out there. If you get a married judge for

1:18:26

your case, you are allowed to walk out of the courtroom.

1:18:29

Yeah. That's an automatic mistrial. You're good

1:18:31

to go. You can walk out. Yeah.

1:18:34

And if they try to lay him, grab the, the

1:18:36

cop, the courtroom cup, you can touch their

1:18:38

gun. You can touch their

1:18:41

gun. And if they try to lay a finger on you,

1:18:43

you get the judge's spouse. Yeah.

1:18:46

So, you know, so I don't

1:18:48

know where I'm going, but you know, you know, so, uh, Carly

1:18:52

has been disqualified. Tim has been both disqualified

1:18:55

and given first place mirror dimension,

1:18:57

um, which I think by default,

1:19:00

this makes Joe Lepore the winner.

1:19:03

Yeah, I think so. I

1:19:06

think this is, this is what we call a no contact

1:19:08

victory.

1:19:12

I think you're right. I think, I think

1:19:15

it either has to be that or this entire, uh,

1:19:18

or deal was for nothing. And I don't think we want to say

1:19:20

that.

1:19:20

And we can't have that. And I do think

1:19:23

I've listened, but I saw the results. Joe

1:19:25

gave, uh, one of his votes was for the, fucking

1:19:29

the Atari's cover

1:19:32

of Don Henley's boys of summer, the 2003 Atari's

1:19:35

cover, which

1:19:36

frankly, superior version, all

1:19:38

because lyrically they switch, uh, out

1:19:41

on the road today. I saw a dead head stick around

1:19:43

a Cadillac to out on the road today. I saw

1:19:45

a black flag

1:19:45

flag, the cool,

1:19:48

the young punk's version of the Grateful

1:19:50

Dead. Yeah.

1:19:50

Um,

1:19:53

I am also seeing on his list that he, he

1:19:56

shares my summer thing, which is something to

1:19:58

do with water.

1:20:00

So, you know, your big water

1:20:02

head. I'm a big water head. Yeah.

1:20:04

Water sign, right? I am. I'm

1:20:07

a, I'm a, I'm a cancer. I

1:20:09

really wish that was a different title

1:20:12

in my hometown paper. They called it moon child

1:20:15

moon child. Yeah. I

1:20:18

guess that's better than cancer. I

1:20:23

guess. Yeah. That's

1:20:26

the 9 11 air

1:20:29

makes me think of that tragedy. Yeah,

1:20:35

you're not jumping in with both feet on that, but

1:20:37

yeah. Of course, I am a, I

1:20:39

am actually a Leo, which means I'm a fire sign. Happy

1:20:42

birthday to me. Your season. We're in your season. That's

1:20:44

right. Happy birthday. Happy

1:20:49

birthday. Thank you so much.

1:20:51

You're the most Leo. The internet got really slow as

1:20:53

you wish me a happy birthday. So it,

1:20:55

it felt like digitally sarcastic

1:20:58

and a happy birthday to any

1:21:00

listeners right now, who it's your birthday. Listening

1:21:03

to this. Happy birthday to you. Uh,

1:21:05

to any listeners listening right now, who it's not your birthday.

1:21:08

Fuck off. Get

1:21:10

out of here. Get the fuck out of here.

1:21:12

Have a great summer. Your birthday.

1:21:14

Have a great summer. What's left of it.

1:21:17

And now they've, they now they've said who they think

1:21:19

wins and now we'll react.

1:21:23

Wow. I did not see that coming.

1:21:25

I knew Carly would have my back, but you

1:21:27

know, she also had the potential to betray me.

1:21:30

I'm grateful for the very fair judging.

1:21:32

Ultimately, the pizza thing is an experience.

1:21:35

It's like, you had to remember like you were working,

1:21:37

you've been working the whole day and you're

1:21:39

with people, you're seeing it at this crease.

1:21:42

That it was an experience and it tasted

1:21:44

better after that experience. It only

1:21:46

happened during the summer. Was there anything else that

1:21:49

you thought would get picked up that or any like

1:21:51

any back pocket items

1:21:53

you, you were holding onto that you

1:21:55

were surprised. I was really, I almost picked

1:21:57

s'mores.

1:21:58

I didn't pick s'mores. I almost

1:22:01

picked like like scary stories

1:22:03

s'mores. I would have challenged as being a tunnel

1:22:05

cuz I do that at like Yeah,

1:22:07

I think there's like for me. It's

1:22:09

a little more of like a Colder temperature

1:22:12

fire, but I get it. I

1:22:14

was crabs. I think like were something

1:22:16

I thought about some

1:22:18

are arcades

1:22:20

You know, yeah, I thought about

1:22:22

arcades Oh a slip-and-slide

1:22:24

was something I was yeah, I was like That's

1:22:27

the best feeling in the world. We do a slip-and-slide. Yeah,

1:22:29

I thought about just water parks in general sprinklers

1:22:32

Yeah, I was basically I was

1:22:34

like do I want to go with all of

1:22:36

my beloved?

1:22:39

Camp memories

1:22:40

or the beach memories and I said

1:22:43

well I've got a lot more interesting

1:22:45

beach memories so but

1:22:46

I've got a lot of

1:22:47

summer camp stuff no one picked swimming

1:22:50

pool I I sort

1:22:52

of regret that well, I don't regret

1:22:54

I'm happy with what I did. I'm always I

1:22:56

can't live with regret with regret but You

1:22:59

can't but swimming pool swimming

1:23:01

pool life is also a pick

1:23:04

adult swim The

1:23:08

kids are in all right everyone you've been listening

1:23:10

to the summer draft this is Joe Tim

1:23:13

and Chris saying Make

1:23:15

the most of your summer vacation wherever

1:23:18

and whenever it may be we love

1:23:20

you and stay the fuck out

1:23:22

of fall

1:23:30

That was a hit gun podcast