0:07

Liz Craven: Hello and welcome back to the Sage Aging Podcast.

0:11

I'm so glad you're here, and whether you're joining us from your favorite

0:14

podcast app and you're listening to us or you're watching us on YouTube, thank

0:19

you for watching and um, we've got a great episode coming up for you today.

0:25

I think that there are a lot of misunderstandings about a

0:28

lot of things when it comes to.

0:31

Aging care. Um, you know, there everything you can think of.

0:35

There's a misconception about, and.

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I really like to be a part of the conversation that clears those things

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up because the more tools you can use as a caregiver and the more ways that

0:46

you can bring help to the family unit as a whole, the happier everyone is and

0:52

the better quality of life everyone has.

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So that's always our aim and I think we're gonna put a dent in

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some of that today for you as well.

1:01

Um, today we are going to talk.

1:04

Assisted living communities. So what do you think of when you think of an assisted living community?

1:10

Are you a person who thinks of fun and engagement and activities and

1:17

high quality of life and great food and parties and great atmosphere?

1:22

Or are you someone who thinks.

1:25

. That's a place that we put our loved ones when we just can't take it anymore.

1:29

When we don't have the ability to care for 'em, we stick 'em in a home.

1:32

How many times have you heard that? Well, I think you're gonna be enlightened by today's conversation.

1:38

I am so excited to have joining me today, Laura Tenpenny.

1:42

Laura Tenpin is the marketing Director for Lake Gibson Village.

1:46

Lake Gibson Village. An independent assisted and memory care community in Lakeland, Florida.

1:53

She's got a lot of experience in this realm, and today she's gonna help us

1:58

bust some of those myths that we've all heard about assisted living.

2:03

So thanks for joining me, Laura. I'm so glad to have you here today.

2:07

, Laura Tenpenny: pleasure to be here, Liz. Thanks for having me.

2:09

Liz Craven: Yeah, of course. This is a long overdue conversation.

2:12

I think , um, this was, this was one of those low hanging fruit.

2:16

I just didn't think of the topic and I think it was, uh, grace who

2:19

works with you, who said, Hey, you guys need to talk about this.

2:23

And my apologies, we're not thinking of it sooner.

2:27

. Laura Tenpenny: Well, you can't think of everything, Liz. You're too amazing already.

2:30

Oh, , Liz Craven: you are very kind.

2:32

Thank you. . Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Let's start with a little bit of getting to know, Laura.

2:39

I know you pretty well. We've, we've been hanging around for a long time now, but how did you make

2:44

your way into the elder care industry?

2:47

Laura Tenpenny: Well, it was kind of a natural progression.

2:50

Um, I worked for a long time in the hospitality industry, um, here

2:55

in Lakeland, uh, at a few hotels.

2:58

One point, the Sheraton Hotel. Um, so I kind of had, um, some background in guest experience and helping people.

3:07

And, um, in the industry we'd say putting heads in beds.

3:11

Um, so, um, when I was looking to switch gears a little bit, um, I saw an ad

3:17

for, um, uh, the marketing director of a community here in Lakeland, and I

3:21

answered it and I was very fortunate to get to work with, um, a wonderful, um,

3:27

executive director and mentor who kind of really helped me, um, get my feet wet.

3:32

Cuz it is different, but in ways it's the same, you know, you're, you're

3:37

trying to help people have a comfortable stay, whether it's one night or.

3:43

the rest of their lives. But, um, we wanna make sure that it's the right, the right choice.

3:48

So that's kind of where I came from, the hospitality industry, and I transitioned

3:53

into senior care a few years later.

3:56

Liz Craven: And aren't we lucky because you do a phenomenal job.

3:59

You and your team are creative.

4:02

And you're exciting and I absolutely love to come to your community for events

4:08

because it's always a whole lot of fun.

4:10

Thank you. And I can only imagine for those that are living there, what a treat that

4:14

is for them to have all that's going on, and the great food and the great

4:18

environment surrounding them every day. Laura Tenpenny: Yeah.

4:21

Thanks Liz. We appreciate that. Liz Craven: Let's start with a definition.

4:26

I like definitions. I like to make sure that everybody listening has a clear understanding

4:31

of what we're talking about. And I think a lot of people confuse assisted living communities with

4:38

long-term care communities, or some might refer to that as a nursing home,

4:43

also known as skilled nursing community.

4:45

So let's start by defining assisted living so people know what we're talking about.

4:50

Laura Tenpenny: Great. I'd love to do that. So assisted living really is, um, uh, residential communities, um, not

5:00

medical facilities, but they do often as we do have, um, nursing and care,

5:07

um, medically trained people on staff.

5:11

But what assisted living is really offering is a home-like environment

5:17

with that safety and that backup and those people there to help you.

5:22

We are, we're not a medical facility, we're not a nursing

5:24

home, so we can't do a lot of the things that a nursing home can do.

5:28

Um, but we can do a lot of things that, um, that are very

5:33

helpful to keep a person safe. So my, what I tell families is, We wanna give mom or dad their full autonomy to

5:43

live their lives, to come and go, to get engaged, to, uh, just feel, um, uh, um,

5:50

important in their senior years and, and having, um, friendship and socialization

5:57

as safely as possible.

5:59

So we're here for that backup to help them, but we want it to be their home.

6:03

These are not rooms like in a hospital or a nursing home.

6:08

Their homes, their apartments. Liz Craven: To me it's kind of reminiscent of living in a resort.

6:13

I mean, you've got someone cooking all your food for you.

6:17

And there are so many activities and music and there's someone who comes

6:23

to do your hair and I mean, everything you can think of, it's available.

6:28

It's kinda like getting on a cruise ship, I guess, but bigger rooms, you've got a

6:31

whole apartment instead of a small cabin.

6:33

Laura Tenpenny: Yeah. Yeah. We call it a, we call it a, um, some people refer to us as a,

6:38

a cruise ship on, on dry dock, Liz Craven: Oh,

6:41

Laura Tenpenny: it, it does have that feel, has that feeling.

6:43

But yeah, you spoke to some of the things like, I spoke about safety, but yes, the

6:48

meals, all those things that might be a challenge in ho in your home as you.

6:53

Grow older, the cooking, the cleaning, um, the shopping, all, all of that.

6:58

So, you know, we just kind of take that off their plates and, and allow

7:02

them to just really enjoy their lives and, and so important is that

7:06

socialization factor I mentioned earlier

7:08

Liz Craven: Absolutely. Absolutely.

7:10

That's probably to me one of the key factors that leads to quality of life.

7:15

Laura, why do you think there are so many misconceptions about assisted living?

7:21

Laura Tenpenny: Well, I'm glad you asked because I think, and, uh, I just

7:26

imagine, uh, well, I remember being a child myself and going and visiting,

7:32

um, a loved one in a, um, what they call 'em in the old days, an old

7:37

folks home, a nursing home, you know? Yeah.

7:39

Um, So, um, we would go in there and it was just a, um, not, not

7:46

a great experience seeing, you know, people kind of vegetating.

7:49

And what I think is happening is, um, when an older person is, um, hesitant

7:56

to make this type of move, it's because they think they're remembering what

8:00

it was, like what they saw, and, and they're really not um, aware of how

8:06

far this kind of lifestyle has come.

8:10

Um, so, uh, the challenge is to overcome those objections in their mind, and

8:16

really the only way to do that is to just put 'em in the car and sh and

8:20

bring 'em over and, and show them. Let them experience the lifestyle come for an activity, a meal, you

8:28

know, see the people and talk to the people, tell you that's the best is

8:32

when you can go to a community and you can actually have a conversation, uh,

8:38

with, with a resident and hear how, why they chose it and why they like it.

8:43

But I think to answer your question, There's the preconceived notions

8:47

from their experience as a young person visiting their elders.

8:52

And, um, it's just, you know, uh, everybody back in the day, you

8:56

know, we put grandma away, you know, and it's like, we don't, we

8:59

don't put grandma away anymore. Um, that's not what this is about.

9:03

Yeah. Liz Craven: Thank you. That is such a great description.

9:07

And I will also say if you're listening, um, if you go to eldercareguide.com

9:13

and look in the assisted living section, you're gonna find a checklist

9:16

that will allow you to go and visit communities in your own area.

9:21

Um, Take your top three choices and go to those communities and we've got a

9:26

whole questions to ask worksheet for you that can help you ask the right

9:31

questions and be really well educated about your decision, because that's

9:34

a big part about being happy in an assisted living community is finding the

9:39

community that's the right fit for you. There are a lot of great ones, but even a great one might not be the

9:46

right fit for your personality and for what your loved one's desires are.

9:50

So be sure to really check on those.

9:52

But now I wanna get back to it. Let's bust some myths.

9:57

Let's start with myth number one.

10:00

Assisted living is the same thing as a nursing home.

10:04

Laura Tenpenny: Well, um, no, they're not, um, they're not the same thing at all.

10:08

Um, because assisted living is, uh, the, the, the home-like environment where

10:15

you're getting the support that you need. Um, a nursing home is truly a medical, uh, uh, facility, and they're there to.

10:25

Help you convalesce and get stronger.

10:27

So then you might go to an assisted living or, or go back to your home or

10:32

whatever, but it's a medical facility and there are, um, people there that

10:36

are gonna help you in that regard. Um, assisted livings in the state of Florida are, by definition,

10:42

residential, um, homes or facilities.

10:47

Um, there's just a big difference and when you walk in the door,

10:50

you're gonna see the difference. Though there are some very beautiful, skilled nursing

10:55

facilities that look like resorts.

10:58

Um, you, you definitely can tell that these are convalescing.

11:02

They're like a Haas. Hospital type environment, um, versus what you would see in an assisted

11:07

living is, um, uh, just a, a a home-like environment with things

11:13

going on and people interacting, but it's by definition residential.

11:18

And we, we try to, um, our, our tagline is, make the rest of

11:22

your life the best of your life. But we want that to be, um, they're living their best lives and, and, and they.

11:31

Nursing homes get you there so you can do that.

11:35

So yeah, Liz Craven: That's a, that's a, that's a great description

11:39

and yes, a hundred percent.

11:41

So one place you're more like, uh, recovering and healing

11:45

from a big event in your life. And on the other hand, you are living it up.

11:51

Laura Tenpenny: Right, right. Liz Craven: All right, so myth number two, and I hear this so often, if I

11:57

move to an assisted living community, I will lose my independence.

12:02

Laura Tenpenny: Wow. Well, that I do hear, and I, I think that's a challenge,

12:07

um, for a lot of older people. But I would say that when you move to an assisted living community, you

12:14

gain your independence because think about what's happening if you're older

12:20

in your, in your own home and you're kind of, you can't drive anymore.

12:24

Imagine that. So that depend.

12:28

independence has gone away. Um, getting to the store is a challenge.

12:32

Cooking and cleaning is a challenge, so you're kind of almost chained to this, um,

12:39

lifestyle that you can't manage anymore.

12:42

They think that they'll lose their freedom, but instead, when you come to

12:45

assisted living, what are you freed from? Freedom.

12:48

The shackles of all the things that we're holding you back.

12:51

Um, you're provided transportation to go the places you wanna go

12:56

see the people you wanna see. Um, you're not having to go shop anymore because everybody's bringing

13:01

you a beautiful meal three times a day.

13:04

Um, you're getting the socialization, so you're not, you know, a lot of

13:08

times people, when they're living in their home and they're, they can get

13:12

depressed because they're so lonely and alone, even if there's families,

13:18

you know, checking in and everything. Um, so that depression can set in and if there's dementia or any kind of

13:25

memory loss going on, it's a, it's a perfect cocktail for a disaster.

13:30

So, Yeah. So we wanna help people lose that, be free of that, and gain their independence

13:39

and autonomy in a lifestyle where they can enjoy it and, and, um, be safe, um,

13:45

and have people around them to help. Liz Craven: And that's a great point that you brought up about somebody who has

13:51

some cognitive impairment because they are prisoner in their homes, especially I.

13:57

Unfortunately, I've heard of situations where families in an effort to protect

14:03

their loved one, end up putting locks that are inside the door and, ah,

14:08

that just, I'm, no, you can't do that.

14:11

You know, that is, I, I recognize it.

14:14

An effort to protect their loved one from opening the door to strangers,

14:18

but they don't recognize that they're creating a whole host of other dangers

14:24

like the fire department not being able to get in if they need to.

14:27

The police department not being able to enter if they need to when nobody else

14:31

is home, and so freeing of the shackles.

14:34

I love that you said. Uh, for someone who does have some cognitive impairment, it does allow for

14:41

a return of a lot of their independence.

14:43

That is a great point. Laura Tenpenny: Thanks. Liz Craven: Okay, so myth number three is that there is no privacy

14:50

in an assisted living community. Laura Tenpenny: Um, well, I will disagree with that as well,

14:56

and I'll try to bust that myth. Um, so when a resident comes, uh, when a person moves in to a or assisted

15:03

living community, uh, they get their own apartment, so it's their own home.

15:08

And, you know, people do like their quiet time in their private time.

15:11

So, um, you can always go to your apartment and read your book or watch

15:16

your show or whatever it is you do, but, Again, we do have the ability or the

15:22

programs for people to come out and, and get engaged and enjoy them, uh, the

15:28

activities, but certainly, um, there's pri I mean, you have your own private

15:32

apartment, so they have all the privacy they want and some people are more

15:37

reserved and private and don't really, um, Uh, you know, want to interact as much,

15:43

you know, they're just by nature that way.

15:46

Um, and we respect that in every regard.

15:48

But, um, yeah, there's, that's a, that's a myth you can bust out of there.

15:54

It's, no, it's not true. Liz Craven: Awesome, . Awesome.

15:58

Okay, moving on to myth number four.

16:01

Assisted living is just too expensive.

16:05

Laura Tenpenny: That is a good one. And I get that a lot.

16:07

You know why, um, I had this conversation at lunch today with somebody cuz people,

16:11

we are a very, very nice community, a beautiful community, and I, and I take

16:15

pride in, in, in saying that, but, um, because of that, people think that

16:20

maybe we're, um, out of the ballpark, um, price-wise and, and a lot of.

16:25

Places, um, people think that of, um, but there are, um, when you sit

16:31

down and I ch and I ask families to try to do this, just sit down and,

16:35

and make a list of everything you're paying now to live in your own home.

16:41

You know, and you really gotta look hard at that list.

16:44

You know, there's not just the, um, The groceries and the electric

16:49

bill, but there's taxes and insurance and all the things.

16:54

So if you make a list and look at that and then, um, put it next to what it does

17:00

cost to live in assisted living, uh, most families see that it's very comparable

17:05

and sometimes can be even less expensive.

17:08

That said, You're getting so much.

17:10

Everything is inclusive in assisted living.

17:13

Your meals, your housekeeping, your laundry, your utilities.

17:17

So you don't have all these little extras.

17:20

You're not paying for the broken down air conditioner because what, we're gonna

17:24

come to the apartment and fix it for you.

17:26

If the light goes out, we're gonna take care of that.

17:29

So all of those maintenance items kind of go away.

17:32

Um, when you go to assisted living.

17:36

Yeah. So, uh, that's, that's kind of, um, uh, but there's also ways, Liz, I wanna share

17:41

real quick is there, there are, Programs that I, um, one of them in particular

17:47

is called the aid and Attendance Program through the Veterans Administration.

17:51

So if anyone is a veteran or the, um, surviving spouse of a veteran,

17:58

there is a monetary benefit that helps pay for assisted living services.

18:03

So, um, the demographic that we serve, Most, most of them have been

18:08

in the military at one point and, and, um, I share with them this a

18:12

little bit about this benefit and give them resources where they can learn

18:16

more and, and move forward with it.

18:18

But that is a substantial benefit that helps pay for assisted living as well.

18:23

So for most people it is not out of the ballpark to afford

18:27

assisted living services. Liz Craven: Very good point.

18:30

And that's an entire episode all on its own veterans benefits.

18:34

And, and we are, we are working on that.

18:36

So if you're listening and think that's interesting.

18:39

Stay tuned. We've got that coming. Okay.

18:42

Myth number six. And this one, this one I can attest to that it is not.

18:47

True. The food in an assisted living community is institutional, and I won't like it.

18:54

Laura Tenpenny: well. Have you ever eaten at Lake Gibson Village? Liz Craven: Yeah, that's what I say.

18:59

Let me tell you what the dessert at Lake Gibson Village is on par.

19:05

I have been fortunate enough to come to a lot of events there and everything

19:09

from breakfast through a full dinner.

19:13

and the appetizers that go with the wine.

19:16

I, I have always been so impressed and I know that your residents,

19:22

um, they love the food too because they tell me about it all the time.

19:25

And tell me about the things that I've missed. Laura Tenpenny: Yeah, they, they do like the food.

19:29

Um, and they like the wine bar too. You mentioned that.

19:32

So, um, um, but we do have a, an executive chef and most facilities do,

19:38

um, have a, a, a chef who oversees, um, another thing, um, That, um, many

19:45

people don't know is that, you know, the menus have to be approved by a

19:50

dietician for, um, assisted living.

19:52

So the, the food not only has to be beautiful and palatable,

19:56

but it has to meet the needs of these, um, these seniors.

20:00

So, um, it's healthy food.

20:03

It's not, you know, the TV dinners that they might be experiencing

20:07

at home because it's easy. But, um, it's a, it's really, we have a full kitchen, a sous chef, an executive

20:15

chef, and, and most facilities do.

20:18

Um, it's not institutional. So I appreciate your nice comments on our, our, our culinary program.

20:24

Liz Craven: Of course, and you know, if I'm not mistaken, I don't know

20:28

if it was you all, or perhaps it was Florida Presbyterian homes, but one of

20:34

those chef teams won some local awards for the food and competed against

20:40

local restaurants and took the prize.

20:43

So that is definitely a moth, a myth that we can bust today.

20:48

Laura Tenpenny: But, you know, um, just one more thing on that, you know,

20:51

food is probably the most important thing for these residents here.

20:56

I mean, they do look forward to mealtime.

20:59

I mean, as you get older, um, you just, you know, you've appreciate the finer

21:04

things like, but I'll tell you what, you can't mess with the food you have.

21:08

It has to be good. It has to be good

21:10

Liz Craven: Yep. Okay. I've kind of lost track of the numbers, but I think that this is myth number

21:15

seven and the final myth for today, and that is if I move to an assisted

21:21

living community, I'm gonna be bored

21:24

Laura Tenpenny: Oh, okay. So again, um, uh, I've been, I've worked in several assisted livings and I've

21:32

always seen a nice robust activities program, but I mean, you do have to,

21:38

like you said earlier, you have to go and look around and take the tours.

21:44

And see what's going on. Cuz you wanna, you wanna see what the residents are doing.

21:48

There's chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry in the world.

21:50

And the same goes for, um, assisted living.

21:53

So each has their own flavor. You know, some have a, um, a stronger flavor than others.

21:59

Maybe some are more low key. But, um, and for instance, in our assisted living, our program includes boat rides

22:08

on the pontoon boat or, um, going to the casino or, um, you know, doing, um, happy

22:15

hour every Friday with entertainment.

22:18

So, um, But what our activities, girls have done a great job and, and,

22:22

and any activity director worth her grain of salt would be, um, asking

22:26

the residents, what do you wanna do? What do you enjoy?

22:30

And then building your, uh, program around that.

22:34

But the whole point, I think one of the main things about assisted living is

22:38

that socialization and keeping people engaged and active, because that's only

22:43

gonna be better for them in, in their.

22:47

You know, l longevity and helping them enjoy their, their days.

22:52

Um, activity programs are, I mean, just so important, but very, very, um, alive.

23:01

I would say. Very Liz Craven: Absolutely. I would agree with that.

23:04

I would agree with that. And I thought of one more thing that I wanna mention.

23:09

We, this is another myth, we'll call it number eight, because I think

23:13

we really need to address this. Many people believe that when they move into an assisted living

23:19

community, that they do not have the freedom to come and go.

23:23

But barring cognitive impairment issues, , you can have your car and you

23:28

can hop in the car and go for a lunch date with friends and do a lot of the

23:32

activities that you've always done. Laura Tenpenny: Absolutely.

23:35

And we have several residents who are very, um, independent in that regard.

23:39

They're coming and going and doing their own thing.

23:42

In fact, one of our residents, um, he was kind of bumming a ride from

23:46

another resident to go, um, stuff.

23:49

And then a few days ago he bought himself, I think a Mercedes.

23:52

And now he's got, he's got a car now.

23:55

Oh, you see so-and-so's car. So yeah, they, um, You know, if you wanna have your own car, if you wanna go away

24:01

for the weekend to stay with your family, um, or for a month during the holidays,

24:06

whatever, that's the beauty of it. You can lock that apartment door and go and you're done.

24:10

You don't have to worry about anything. But we do, we do want you to be active and do what you wanna do.

24:17

This isn't about doing what we are asking you to do.

24:21

This is allow, this is allowing you to experience life to the full.

24:26

Liz Craven: Absolutely. Well, I hope that all of you listening, if you had doubts about, or misunderstandings

24:34

about what assisted living is, I hope that clears some of it up.

24:38

If you have other. Questions or other myths you want us to bust?

24:42

By all means drop that in the notes, reach out to us on

24:46

social media, send us an email.

24:48

We will get those questions answered for you.

24:50

But I think we did a great job of doing that today.

24:54

So we've come to a part in the program where, Laura, I want you to give

24:58

yourself a very shameless plug and tell us all about Lake Gibson Village.

25:03

Laura Tenpenny: Well, I just am very proud to be here. I will say that I was the first person that they hired.

25:08

This is a beautiful restored and renovated historic building that was opened in 1928.

25:15

Um, and saw a lot of changes over the years, but, um, In the last, um, half

25:21

a dozen years, um, we've been open.

25:24

We restored and renovated this beautiful historic building, and it's kind of come

25:28

full circle as a retirement home again.

25:32

Um, but we take pride in, um, in this beautiful, um, environment.

25:36

But, you know, it could be, it could be the Taj Mahal if the care's not

25:39

there, you know, it doesn't matter. So, um, we won the best of a Central Florida award, um, a few times, which

25:47

is, um, a nice award that's out there for, um, that's voted by the people of

25:52

the community, the outside community.

25:55

So we're happy about that, but we just have a really special place.

25:58

We have our own dinner theater and we have our pontoon boat and, and just, it's

26:04

really a, a beautiful building with a lot of loving people to take care of you.

26:08

So, um, there's my Liz Craven: will agree.

26:10

Yes, and it was very accurate.

26:13

I can attest to that. You guys do a beautiful job, and I can say for those listening, one of the true tests

26:20

of how well a community is put together is in their retention of employees,

26:26

and people stay at Lake Gibson Village.

26:29

It's the same crew that's been there for a long time, and we've been able to

26:34

grow really nice relationships there.

26:36

So thank you for what you deliver to people, and thank you for providing such

26:40

a great quality of life for those who are ready for a little bit of assistance.

26:45

Laura Tenpenny: call. Thank you, Liz. It's been a pleasure talking to you.

26:48

Liz Craven: Well, not quite finished with you yet because I want, oh no, this is,

26:53

this part's easy and this can be about our topic today or anything general in life,

26:59

but I would love it if you would leave us with just a little piece of sage advice.

27:04

Laura Tenpenny: um, I would say to um, re um, people out there, uh,

27:09

adult children and, um, seniors that are out there is don't wait to,

27:16

uh, uh, CR for a crisis to happen.

27:19

Start looking and thinking about this lifestyle and getting into buildings

27:24

and taking tours because I think that once you get out there and see

27:28

what this lifestyle is really about. It's gonna open your eyes to how, how nice it can be, how pleasurable it could be.

27:37

Um, just getting people to take that tour and walk in a building helps them dispel

27:43

that mindset that this is not for me.

27:45

Cuz I, I tell you what, people come in and they see it and they

27:50

go, oh, this isn't what I thought it was, you know, was gonna be.

27:53

So yeah, I would just say, you know, do your homework and, and start looking.

27:58

Because, because you never know. Liz Craven: Absolutely.

28:01

Well that is great advice and you know, if you've been listening to me at all,

28:06

my mantra is know it before you need it.

28:08

So that is great advice and I appreciate it and I appreciate

28:12

you for joining me today. Thank you so much.

28:14

Laura Tenpenny: Thank you, Liz. Great to talk to you. Liz Craven: You as well,

28:18

and thank all of you for listening. I hope the conversations that we're having here on the Sage Aging

28:23

Podcast are beneficial to you, and I hope you're finding value in them.

28:28

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28:32

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28:35

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28:39

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28:52

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28:56

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29:02

So stay tuned, we'll talk real soon.