Sara Eckel was a self-improvement guinea pig. As a freelance writer for women’s magazines and a single woman in her 30s, she talked to psychologists, coaches, yoga teachers, and even took an acting class in a quest to figure out why she was still single and what to do about it. At age 39, without a serious boyfriend in eight years, one man actually looked at her and said: “What’s wrong with you?”

The answer to that question is the basis of her first book, “It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single” based on her hit essay for the New York Times Modern Love column.

Sara Eckel is a full-time freelance writer and personal coach. She’s been a nationally syndicated columnist and her work has appeared in publications like The Washington Post, Salon, Women’s Health, Time Out New York, Cosmopolitan, Forbes, The BBC, The Village Voice, The Boston Globe, and The New York Times.

Currently partnered? No worries, this episode is still for you. It’s not an episode about what it’s like being single and what’s wrong with you if you aren’t partnered and how to go about meeting someone. It’s about how all of us think about being single, and about some of the awful things we sometimes say to singles, especially single women in their 30s and beyond. Most importantly, this episode about compassion. Compassion for yourself and compassion for others and what happens when it’s not there. Sara’s been deeply influenced by her meditation practices and learning about Buddhist teachings. At the heart of this episode is a quagmire…about valuing couples while also embracing singlehood and accepting ourselves as we are even when we might want something more. Make sure to subscribe to the podcast to have new episodes sent directly to your listening device and go visit us our website over at SchoolofPsych.com for shownotes and more.