0:00

Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya

0:02

rad and I Heart Radio and two

0:05

time People's Choice Award winning

0:07

podcast. Hello

0:11

everybody, We're scrubbing in,

0:13

gangs all here, plus a

0:16

very special guest, one of our favorites.

0:18

I have to say, I have to agree. We

0:21

have your mark scrubbing in.

0:24

Oh, thank you so much. That's the kindest

0:26

introduction. Ever, how are you doing.

0:28

We've missed you. I've

0:30

missed you guys as well. I don't know if you guys have heard

0:34

is not going so good? Yeah,

0:39

I was telling Becca that you

0:41

so hunter, just sweet little

0:43

angel came over here and

0:45

dropped off this bottle of champagne for

0:48

our three years, the nicest,

0:51

most thoughtful, so

0:54

kind. That is so so kind

0:56

and like you totally didn't have to do that, and

0:58

just that's why you're like the sweetest ever.

1:01

You guys deserve it. I

1:03

think, you know, a lot of people

1:06

think that what you guys do

1:08

is kind of uh. You guys make it look

1:10

really easy and effortless. And I know how hard

1:13

it is to make any sort of media successful

1:15

for years and years and years and I barely

1:18

I'm not really doing it either, so I know how

1:20

hard it is. I think you guys deserve that, and

1:22

then some it's a great show. Yeah,

1:25

I know. I literally was like, oh, I wish that

1:27

I would have known that you were going to drop this off

1:29

because I literally would have um because

1:32

I have all the ports if you like

1:34

my tech terms here, I have all the ports that

1:36

I could hook up a microphone and other microphone

1:38

in here for you, but I just didn't have an extra microphone.

1:41

I know. That would have been so fun because last time

1:43

we saw you, we were at the Britney Spears

1:45

pop up and Jack's was also

1:48

scrubbing in with us, and it

1:50

was probably one of our most entertaining

1:53

episodes with both of you on with

1:56

us giving dating advice.

1:59

Oh don't know if we could have picked a

2:01

more foil character for me, like

2:03

a more opposite human.

2:05

It was so interesting because he was so he

2:08

was so open and honest about

2:10

things that people should not be open and

2:12

honest about, and I thought

2:14

it was a really interesting quality, like it almost

2:17

redeems some of his bad behavior. I totally

2:19

agree. It's like you say, he would say things and I

2:21

was like, I really don't like you. But then

2:23

I was like the fact that he's so like unabashedly

2:26

himself and just owns it. I was like, I kind of like

2:28

you. Yeah. The response was

2:30

so interesting because a lot of the girls and

2:32

that are of our listeners were like what

2:36

they were just so appalled by some of his answers.

2:38

But then you know, you turn

2:40

you flipped it over and you're like, he's doing

2:43

He's just saying what a lot like

2:46

he meant how

2:48

a lot of men think. And

2:50

um, it was this weird mix

2:52

of refreshing and scary.

2:58

That's a great way to describe him and general

3:00

because you're freshing and scary.

3:02

But I remember at the time you were

3:04

flirting with Tanya hardcore because she was

3:06

single and they were. It was like a whole

3:09

thing, like people were like shipping

3:11

you in Tanya. They're really rooting hard

3:14

courtship. And actually it's so funny. I went

3:16

on the Facebook group and on Instagram

3:18

and I asked people to send in questions for Hunter.

3:21

So many of the questions were do

3:23

you regret not shooting your shot at Tanya?

3:29

I think the more I get to know Tanya,

3:32

the more I regret not shooting my shot

3:34

because I see how sweet and kind

3:36

she is, and I also feel like, you

3:38

know, maybe a year and a half ago or two years

3:41

ago when we first met, I don't think I

3:43

appreciated all of the qualities that

3:45

Tanya has, and I feel like a lot of young

3:47

men don't appreciate those things.

3:49

It comes with time, and it comes

3:51

with dating people who you think are more

3:53

of like a chase or they're more like, you

3:56

know, it's just they're they're going after

3:58

something, and then you realize, no, I just want someone who really

4:00

loves me. Yeah, Like there's no chase

4:02

with me. Like it's like I'm on

4:04

a silver platter. Here you go

4:07

keep my apartment, Okay,

4:13

I brought I bought all your favorite snacks

4:16

or in my kitchen. I would die.

4:18

I would love that. Well,

4:21

I do feel like last time we talked to you, you were

4:23

either well I can't remember

4:25

if you were you were flirting

4:27

with Tania, but you're kind of in a

4:29

place where you were just dating and you have met

4:32

anyone yet. Any updates on that? Do you

4:35

talk about it or let's

4:37

talk about it? You know? I feel like this is this

4:39

is what it's about. I am single

4:41

right now. I am in

4:44

this like very introspective stage.

4:46

I think has brought this out in everybody

4:48

a little bit, but I think mine

4:50

has been like a reflection on you

4:53

know, maybe you don't need to go on as many

4:55

dates to try and like fill that

4:58

void, you know. So I've been trying to spend

5:00

time alone with Hunter at the house and

5:02

uh, you know, just kind of remind him

5:05

everyone. So I'm like, dude, you're pretty funny. You're making

5:07

me giggle, and then I go, oh, thanks, I appreciate

5:09

that, because

5:11

I do. I feel like there is especially

5:14

I know I'm super culpable of this, but there

5:16

is this thing where some people, especially entertainers,

5:19

they need to be told that people like them.

5:21

You know. This is like one reason why a lot of us get

5:23

into this industry, as we like that feeling. And

5:26

it's so hard to get to a place where you don't

5:28

need other people to do it. You could just do it yourself. And so

5:31

that's been the goal. And have you, Okay, judge

5:33

me all you want, but have you ever looked

5:36

in the mirror and like given yourself affirmations.

5:40

I haven't looked in the mirror and done it,

5:42

but because I think I would just giggle,

5:44

I'd see me and I'd go let's have the stupid

5:47

looking idiot. You're

5:50

so great. Tonio always talks

5:52

about doing this, and I pictured myself

5:54

doing it and I just imagine myself starting

5:56

to laugh before I say anything nice about

5:58

myself. I did this workbook.

6:00

It's called Calling in the One, and it's really like basically

6:03

therapy, and every day you have like assignments

6:05

where you have to look inward and look in your

6:07

past and look at your parents, relationship and all these things.

6:09

And one of the assignments for the day was

6:12

to literally look at yourself in a mirror naked

6:14

and complement your body on like

6:17

just random things. So like I fully sat in front

6:19

of a mirror for like an hour, and I was just like, this

6:21

is the weirdest thing I've ever done. But now I do

6:23

it all the time. That's

6:27

great. I don't know. I think every time I get

6:30

out of the shower, I look at myself and

6:32

I go, not bad, buddy,

6:34

not bad. But I don't

6:37

do the rest of the affirmation. There

6:39

is an affirmation I've been trying to tell myself lately,

6:41

which is, um, if you

6:43

don't sacrifice, maybe it's not an affirmation,

6:45

because if anything, it's making me like more neurotic

6:47

and work harder. But if you don't sacrifice

6:50

for what you want, what you want

6:52

is what you sacrifice. Yeah,

6:57

and so that has been like this whole

7:00

thing where it goes to like work mostly,

7:02

but I think it also goes to relationships. It's like

7:05

if you sacrifice sometimes having a super

7:07

healthy relationship because you need some something

7:10

right now. So maybe you want to go if

7:12

you're single, you want to go hook up with somebody instead

7:14

of spend the time figuring yourself out. What

7:16

you really want in the long run is not a hook up. You want

7:19

like love. And so I think it's applicable to

7:21

everything. It's interesting because we were like, I

7:23

was just having this conversation about like

7:25

being single, and I feel like, for me,

7:27

when when I was single, I didn't

7:30

need like I dated because I wanted to find

7:32

like my guy, do you know what I mean. So it was like I would

7:35

date a lot because I wanted to find

7:37

the one. But I didn't go on many second days because I'm like, I'm

7:39

not gonna waste your time. I don't want to waste my time. I don't need

7:41

to be on dates to just like be on a

7:43

date. I want to like find I want

7:45

to find you, So

7:48

it's always like very intentional dating.

7:50

I never really dated anybody just to like pass

7:53

the time. Yeah, I can't remember

7:55

if we talked about this with you, But I personally

7:58

hate first date. So the whole dating

8:01

game for me was horrible because I

8:03

hated the small talk. It's

8:05

like the repetitive small talk because every time

8:07

you go on a new first day, you're talking about the same thing.

8:10

Where are you from, what do you do your

8:13

time? It's just like you feel

8:15

like you're just interviewing. And I hated

8:17

that process, whereas Tanya was like, I'm

8:19

on a mission and I don't have that conversation

8:22

as many people having any thousand times over

8:24

if I need to, because it's like moving,

8:29

you know. I think I'm kind of more

8:31

like Tanya in that way, but I'm

8:33

pretty quick to realize if the conversation

8:36

has that depth to it, right, because the conversation

8:38

can only go as deep as the two people in it.

8:41

And I like finding

8:43

that. In fact, you guys want to hear a date story I went

8:45

on maybe a couple of months ago that was It's

8:47

juicy is this middle middle?

8:50

Okay? I mean dating in the pandemic

8:52

has been a probably a very different

8:54

experience. So yeah, because do you kiss

8:56

on a first date? Let

8:59

me tell you I

9:03

always did too, but now I feel like during the pandemic,

9:05

I probably wouldn't. Well,

9:07

she didn't want to kiss on the first date

9:10

either, so it's an awkward one of the first times

9:12

I've been rejected for a first kiss in like a

9:14

lot, probably since like high school. But it wasn't

9:16

like like too, I'll get to that. Dating.

9:19

And I met this girl. Uh.

9:21

I saw her years ago, like through a friend's instagram.

9:23

She had a boyfriend at the time, and then years later

9:26

she ended up deming me and saying, hey,

9:28

our friends tried to set us up, but I was taken. Now I'm

9:31

single and I saw your instagram. Uh,

9:33

And we started talking and we had really really

9:35

great phone calls, very like deep. Um

9:38

she's a kind of does some sort of like some form

9:41

of therapy. I don't want to get too specific, but she

9:43

does some form of therapy, and um,

9:45

the conversations were so great, and then we

9:47

went out on this date and we finally

9:49

after like maybe five hours of talking on

9:51

the phone over the course of like three days, like

9:54

over a week, and on

9:56

the date, we were talking about how we usually

9:58

end things with people like after first date or

10:00

second or third day, like if you don't like them, what do you

10:02

do? And I said, I'm just trying not

10:04

to ghost people, but it's hard because

10:06

you don't want to like be one

10:09

day to be like, you know what, not

10:12

that into you, you know, because then it's

10:14

like presumptuous that they wanted more or whatever.

10:17

And so we said like, hey, after this, no matter

10:19

what happens after this first date, if one of us isn't into

10:21

it, let's practice with each other being super

10:23

forward in like a nice way and there's

10:25

no judgment. Neither of us will be ashamed

10:28

or like like nervous about it. She

10:30

was like deal. So then at the end of the date, we

10:33

were talking, having a really fun time by her car, and

10:35

I went in for like a kiss at the end of the night

10:37

and she got, uh, oh, hold

10:39

on, and I was like, oh, I'm sorry, I forgot

10:41

weird of pandemic. My bad, And then

10:45

uh, like a week later

10:47

we're or like a few days later I texted her. I was like, hey,

10:49

when you get back from your trip, I'd love to take you out. And then

10:51

she she she

10:53

said, I as much as I think you're the perfect

10:56

guy, I just don't know if I want

10:58

that right now. And I was like, this doesn't

11:00

hurt as bad as I thought it would. Yeah, she just

11:02

wants to like she wants she kind

11:04

of just wants to get her feet wet, get back out there.

11:07

Yeah, she was like newly single and so

11:09

but it was good. I mean, I think it was super

11:11

eye opening into in terms of like

11:14

how much it doesn't really hurt to be told

11:16

that, but you think it's going to really destroy the other

11:18

person. It hurts.

11:21

It hurts more to be ignored without an explanation.

11:23

I think so too. I a hundred fifty

11:26

percent agree. One guy tried to ghost me

11:28

and I literally what do you remember? I was like, this guy

11:30

is not like he is not

11:33

ghosting me. And we were in Hawaii, we were doing

11:35

the podcast with Hawaii, and I was like, I'm going to reach out to

11:37

him and just be like yo, yeah, what's

11:39

your deal. Yeah,

11:42

he just didn't eat well, Yeah, he just didn't want to girl

11:44

friend, which I was like, totally fine, but like tell

11:46

me, you know, like I know, I

11:50

think we've been on like three or four like actually like would

11:52

have totally like dated him here. I saw like potential

11:55

in him. It was potential

11:57

because that was not your guy. He was

12:00

not my guy that was that would

12:02

have been forced of, like I'm tired

12:04

of dating around. This guy will do. But

12:07

even like the last guy that I went on that date with, um,

12:10

I ended up texting him. We only went

12:12

on one date and I kind of gave him that

12:15

like same text, like Hey,

12:17

I had a really great time with you, but I'm decided to

12:19

get more serious with this other guy, like thank you

12:21

so much. That date is what you went

12:23

on at after our podcast? Yeah,

12:26

And he really appreciated the transparency. He was like,

12:28

thank you so much, Like good luck with that guy and if it

12:30

doesn't work out, like I

12:32

was like, okay, So

12:34

it's like transparency is actually really nice. I think

12:36

do you feel like, uh, since you've been more

12:39

introspective with yourself during the last

12:41

few months, do you feel like

12:43

it's changed maybe qualities

12:45

that you're looking for in a in a girl

12:47

that you're going to date, or have those remained

12:50

the same. That's

12:52

a good question. I think they've definitely changed

12:55

one thing that's been on my mind or I don't feel

12:57

like I've made that transition. I don't even know if it's a trans

13:00

iss and you can make, but for me,

13:02

I've always been so physical,

13:04

Like I love the physical

13:06

part of a relationship, Like even with little

13:09

things like I like having a hand on a leg when I'm

13:11

driving by like both ways. I just like that

13:14

kind of touch and I

13:16

have you know, like if you ask my co

13:18

host Nina and Morgan or any of my

13:20

friends, they know that I've got like a type, which is

13:22

like the girls that I show

13:25

them are like very sexy, and

13:28

it's not always been uh

13:30

conducive to finding somebody who's

13:32

like really grounded, you know. Those two

13:35

oftentimes are a little bit different.

13:38

And it's not that I

13:40

don't like somebody who's not like an

13:42

Instagram model, it's just, uh,

13:45

they're they just they're abundant

13:47

on Instagram, which since I don't have dating apps

13:49

as like a way that I've met people as I get

13:52

dems from people vice versa. So

13:54

I started having this like thought of like

13:57

how much of the physicalness really matters

13:59

because inevitably, fifteen

14:02

years into a relationship, twenty years into a marriage,

14:04

the physicalness isn't a big part of it anyway

14:07

like that goes away in

14:09

such a big way, almost inevitably,

14:11

there's still so much that bonds you to that person

14:13

that it makes up for it. But it's

14:15

so interesting that in the beginning of a relationship,

14:17

it's so hard for us to overcome the

14:21

outward beauty of somebody and

14:23

appreciate the inward beauty. And so I've been thinking

14:25

about that a lot, and I don't know if

14:28

it's possible to like embark on

14:30

a relationship with someone who's maybe not exactly

14:32

your type. But I don't know, if that's

14:34

more of a male thing than a woman, then yeah, I don't

14:36

know, I'd be interested. Because it's funny.

14:38

When I first started dating my my boyfriend,

14:41

he was like, I did not because I'm

14:43

like, you wouldn't look at me and be like, oh, you're like sexy,

14:46

Like I don't think people describe me a sexy at all. Honestly,

14:49

I beg to disagree that, but

14:52

like I when he first like kind

14:54

of started looking up, he was like, there's this side

14:56

of you that like I just was not expecting

14:59

at all. And so it's like, I

15:01

think that you can find that maybe

15:03

with like a different exterior.

15:05

Then you may think if that makes sense, So I think you

15:07

can still get your physical in a and that's

15:10

what I'm trying to say. Yeah,

15:12

I agree, because I think I actually

15:14

do, especially in the beginning, like you said, I

15:16

mean, it's not everything. And I remember Andy Grammer

15:19

was on our podcast and he was he made a

15:21

comment about like something along

15:23

the lines of like sex in a relationship

15:25

is not as important as you think

15:27

it's gonna be like forever, and

15:30

he was saying, like, obviously it's a big part

15:32

and it's important, and wanting to have that physical chemistry

15:34

is great, but like it doesn't it's

15:37

not always how it is in the very beginning.

15:39

And I thought that was so eye opening because people

15:42

put so much emphasis on that, and then

15:44

when it kind of goes away, people think like, oh,

15:46

is the relationship over? Is it? Do

15:48

we not have that passion anymore? And it's

15:50

just that it's formed in a different way

15:53

of a in a deeper way. And I do understand

15:55

because I feel like probably physical touch is probably

15:57

your number one love language. It's my set's my number

15:59

two. So like I have the same way, like I like to

16:02

touch a leg, I like to touch him. I just

16:04

like to touch. M hm. Yeah.

16:06

I wonder if people. I wonder if people whose

16:08

love language is not physical touch, if

16:11

they don't have as much of an attachment

16:14

to kind of the appearance of somebody,

16:16

which this feels. It's

16:18

interesting because this feels like such a shallow conversation,

16:21

but I feel like it's really

16:23

like, no matter who you are, there is an

16:25

aspect that you want someone you're attracted to, and

16:27

that could be any shape or

16:29

size or any aspect

16:31

of a human. But um, yeah,

16:33

I don't know. Well, we always

16:36

on our in our Facebook group, a lot of girls talk

16:38

about for states they've been on and they'll say

16:40

like, I I went on a date with this

16:42

guy and he was so great and we had such a good time,

16:44

but I don't know that I'm physically attracted

16:46

to him. Like, are there any stories? Do any of y'all

16:49

have love stories of you know, getting

16:51

past that point of not being initially attracted.

16:53

And there's so many people who you

16:55

do fall for the person they are, as

16:58

corny as it sounds on the in side versus who

17:00

they are, because the connection is deeper than the

17:03

physical attraction. Yeah,

17:07

alright, well I've got that to look forward to all

17:09

the questions that we got for you were literally

17:11

like all like they didn't question, Yeah,

17:14

will you marry me? What's his type?

17:17

Um, what's the best way to slide into

17:19

a guy's d MS? I

17:21

can answer that one. I've been getting a wide

17:24

variety because I feel like TikTok, like

17:26

one of the trends was women showing other

17:28

women like how to slide into d m s or how

17:30

to do this, Like it became a very like you

17:33

could find these little sex of TikTok

17:36

and probably every social media before this,

17:38

but it became really prevalent. And like one

17:40

thing that they would do is they would just send a phone number

17:43

and that was it. Another thing was

17:45

they would do it was

17:47

cute. Another one like some girls sent like

17:49

a picture of like a dog emoji

17:52

and then she was like, oh, I'm so sorry

17:54

did he end up in your d M s? This

17:56

is you know anyway? Hi,

17:59

I'm Sarah. Yeah.

18:01

Starting it out with like a joke is pretty good. Yeah.

18:04

I told Tanya before because she was

18:06

like Hunter dropped off Champagne? Was

18:08

it? Champagne Champagne? For our three year

18:10

anniversary of the podcast? And I said, you

18:12

know, if I was a single Hunter would

18:14

be one of those guys that could break my

18:17

heart. I don't

18:19

want to do that heartbreaker.

18:21

Oh we did get a question about Morgan, so I do

18:23

want to because you are I know you are pressed

18:26

for time. You're busy, very busy

18:29

talk because

18:32

you are on Nightly Pop, which honestly

18:36

that show. I love you and

18:38

Morgan and Nina individually. I find you very

18:41

hilarious. But there's you guys have

18:43

a really special secret sauce together

18:45

that is really really funny, like

18:48

you all bring it out in each other in such

18:50

a fun way. Like how

18:53

did you guys get that chemistry? Did you? Were you always

18:55

that closer? Did you find it? Like? Who put you together?

18:59

Um? There was a guy who was

19:01

doing the show before me, and then apparently

19:03

it didn't work out with him, and so they brought

19:05

me in to do the pilot. I got really sick

19:07

the day of the pilot, like the worst stomach flu you ever,

19:10

like food poisoning, whatever. It was horrible. My

19:12

mom picked me up and I couldn't even shoot

19:14

the pilot and she took me to urgent care. I'm

19:16

an adult and my mom picked me up

19:18

from work. They couldn't shoot the Pilot because

19:20

of me. I was throwing up, like I literally

19:23

had like the p a at e uh

19:27

google how to breathe because I was like hyperventilating.

19:29

My body was so dehydrated and so

19:32

still to this day they make fun of me. But then they auditioned

19:34

like ten guys the next week, including me,

19:36

and then I got the part to do the

19:38

pilot. So I think with what

19:41

happened with you, like are were you? Are you

19:43

good? And it was like it was severe

19:45

um like stomach flu. No

19:48

not. I don't get anxious about anything ever,

19:50

like entertainment industry wise,

19:53

hosting. I could go into any

19:55

room and I just think, oh, I'm going to get

19:57

this part, or they're looking for like a not bearded

20:00

white guy. But acting, I go into

20:02

a room and I'm like about to put my pants. I'm so

20:04

nervous, like I can't audition at all. But

20:07

um yeah, So I was just really sick.

20:09

But I think with Nina and Morgan, they're two

20:12

really alpha women, and

20:14

I think you guys can resonate

20:16

with that a little bit. I feel like you guys are both like

20:19

really aware of who you are. You know what

20:21

you want, Um, You've earned where

20:23

you are. You don't want someone to jeopardize that or feel

20:25

like they're coming in against you in any way. And

20:27

also because I was the third person on the show, they were already

20:29

on it. I think my role

20:32

is like the little brother because most of the youngest

20:35

gave them this opportunity to not

20:37

feel threatened or intimidated by

20:39

me at all, which is never my intention. But

20:41

I think with them too, two women

20:44

who are remarkably powerful, Um,

20:46

it just is not a battle you're ever gonna win. So I kind of just

20:49

took on this sibling role, this little sibling.

20:52

It's so the way that you guys can like jerk

20:54

at each other and like poke is so entertaining.

20:58

Like truly, I'm such a fan of

21:00

the show and just all of you in general. It's it's

21:03

very very good. Thank you,

21:05

you're welcome. Did you have a question? Oh yeah.

21:08

The reason why I thought of it was because, um, somebody asked

21:10

the question. They said, if you can describe

21:13

Morgan's baby in three words,

21:15

what would they be? Oh

21:18

my god, it's hard to say.

21:21

Uh, I would say the baby

21:24

is uh tell me if this is three

21:26

words, gonna be rich.

21:32

I feel like that works. Yeah,

21:34

I mean genuinely. I have no idea. I know I've

21:36

met Jordan a couple of times, and he's a fantastic

21:39

man. Morgan's obviously an incredible person. I feel

21:41

like she will be a really good mom, even

21:43

though she's not like you don't meet her a

21:45

year ago and go, yep, mom

21:47

of the Year award. I do think this

21:50

is like going to change her and make her a really

21:52

great person. So I think that baby is going to be rich,

21:54

not only with money but with love.

21:57

And uh, well

22:00

you really turn that around that answer. I

22:02

felt like I needed to, like Dr Phil

22:05

is going to come at me so

22:11

good, gonna be rich. I did not

22:13

see it going that way. I was expecting

22:15

like funny,

22:20

yeah, yeah, no,

22:23

no, no no. And

22:26

you guys just celebrated your twosode,

22:30

I think so. I think at this point we're probably like to

22:33

fifty now since we've done that, because we were

22:35

at four episodes a week, so every you

22:37

know, two months, were at another milestone

22:39

almost. It's it's really

22:42

interesting, it is thanks.

22:45

It is weird, like I think, oh, this is another

22:47

thing that I think you guys would appreciate um

22:49

as people in the industry. And now I think anybody

22:52

with opportunities in life, whether their

22:54

work or not, will appreciate this in relationships.

22:56

I was talking to my therapist about how

22:59

I'm appreciate itative for like my job opportunities,

23:02

but I don't feel like I always give

23:04

them enough of like my life,

23:06

like I almost take them for granted. Two

23:09

hundred episodes in and I'll make comments

23:11

like, oh, if this went away, I can go travel,

23:13

I could go do this um. But I

23:15

know that if it did go away, it would hurt, you know, it would not

23:17

be fun. And he said, uh,

23:21

sometimes we treat He goes, I know a

23:23

hunter that you are especially grateful for your opportunities,

23:25

but do you treat them with reverence? And

23:28

I was like what is and what what way

23:30

do you mean? And he goes, do you give them

23:32

the um reverence?

23:35

Meaning like do you give them the respect that they deserve,

23:38

Like this is an opportunity not only to be grateful

23:40

for, but to respect and to treat like, oh,

23:42

this is bigger than you. There's a lot of people

23:44

behind this, So it's not only about being appreciative,

23:47

it's about giving it that like, full

23:49

on, I'm here to do what I need to do. I will

23:52

go above and beyond. And I think the same thing applies

23:54

to relationships. I've been grateful for

23:56

people in my life, but have I treated them

23:58

with reverence? Have I gone above

24:00

and beyond besides just being thankful, like you

24:02

know, to really form

24:04

the best relationship with something. So

24:06

that's kind of been the other affirmation.

24:09

Yeah, that's very eye opening because I

24:11

even with the podcast when when

24:13

our third year rolled around, I was

24:15

kind of like, Wow, this is amazing, Like, I'm

24:18

so grateful, but I

24:20

think I could always do better in treating

24:22

it as like we're so

24:25

lucky to have this and do everything we can

24:27

to show appreciation for it. Yeah,

24:29

I really appreciate that Insight therapy

24:32

is the best. Honestly,

24:34

they really like I. I will think

24:37

I have things figured out, and then my therapist will be like,

24:39

well what do you think about? Could it be something

24:41

you know, maybe it came from this or it stemmed from

24:43

this, And I'm like mm hmm, yeah,

24:47

now right on the head it would be that. Yeah.

24:50

I think that's a good indicator in a partner,

24:52

is their willingness to actually be in therapy

24:55

if they are or to go to therapy one day,

24:57

Like if you meet somebody who's like no, no,

24:59

no, no, now, I'll never do that. Like

25:01

my dad when I first started going to therapy,

25:04

he goes, hunter, you're working, why do you need to

25:06

go to therapy. I'm like, you don't get it. You don't get

25:08

all. Yeah,

25:11

where are you from? Are you from l A? Yeah?

25:13

I from l A? Okay, yeah I

25:15

When I started therapy, I remember, you know,

25:17

like growing up, therapy was kind of taboo, and

25:19

I grew up in a very Christian home, so I was like, well,

25:21

why don't you just pray about it? Why do you need to go to therapy?

25:23

And I'm like, I can do both, Okay,

25:26

I need both. Yeah, totally.

25:28

Sometimes it's nice to have the immediate feedback of

25:30

a therapist as opposed to kind of waiting for the prayers

25:32

to be answered. Yeah, it's true. To

25:35

my sister, she mean, she's not legally my therapist,

25:37

but she does it for a living, and so it's so nice because she

25:39

obviously has my best interest at heart. So like I

25:42

can take her any situation and

25:44

she just flips it around on me and I'm like, wow,

25:46

I never think it that way, Like very

25:50

very It's a great tool to have as a

25:52

sister because I'm like so grateful

25:54

to her. Yeah, it's true. Oh,

25:56

I had one. There's one other question about not

25:58

not Nightly Pop. But it's why you're other. You're not like show.

26:00

Can I ask you that? Sure? You can ask whatever

26:02

you want. Okay, So she said, I need to

26:04

know everything about the show you host on Netflix, Sugar Rush.

26:06

I'm obsessed. How does

26:09

he feel after he eats the cakes because he

26:11

can't have gluten? Oh,

26:13

I feel awful at

26:15

the end of like the two three weeks

26:17

shooting period. It's like I

26:20

and this last season, I really avoided like the bread

26:22

for the most part. Like I just ate a lot of

26:24

frosting and berries and chocolate chips

26:26

and whatever was on top of the cupcake. Uh,

26:29

and the cake. But that's not

26:31

much better either, just eating cream and sugar

26:33

for three weeks. So, like we

26:36

would go to lunch and they would have like all this really

26:38

great food at the buffet, like

26:41

lunchline, and I would

26:43

just get like steamed broccoli and like

26:45

a glass of water. I'd be like, this is what my

26:47

body needs. Bet,

26:51

But I even feel Yeah, it sounds like

26:53

a great job, painful.

26:56

Yeah, guests come on the show every guest who comes

26:58

on the show like wants to all for the cupcakes

27:00

in the first round and we go, hey,

27:02

you're gonna be here for twelve hours,

27:05

slow down, and they

27:07

never listened. But it's the

27:09

greatest it's the greatest opportunity.

27:11

I mean again, it's like another show where I just

27:13

had to kind of realize, like, very

27:15

few people will get three seasons of a television

27:18

show ever. And we just shot our third and

27:20

it's coming out, and the third

27:22

season came out in the we might have some more episodes

27:24

coming out, So it's just like again,

27:27

you can get kind of caught up in the oh,

27:29

this is my life and you have to realize your life

27:31

is really really awesome, like way

27:34

better than it could be. So

27:36

yeah, so true. Do you have

27:39

any like unpopular opinions

27:41

that you'd like to share on just like the

27:43

pop culture, anything that's going

27:46

on where you feel like it would if you

27:48

said it would be disagreed with The

27:52

Bachelor? I

27:54

think, how

27:56

wait, I don't know how well I I've

27:59

said this on Natlie Pop a lot, but I think

28:02

that's got to be a hard thing for humans to go

28:04

through that experience and to come out

28:07

like I feel like you made the most

28:09

of it and uh have like

28:11

excelled, But god, it's got to be like

28:13

tricky. Well

28:16

luckily for me. Are you saying

28:18

you don't like the Bachelor? What's your unpopular?

28:21

Confused on that? What's your you want

28:23

to say something? And then I

28:29

think I just got it. I think it's really

28:32

it's a really like unhealthy environment

28:34

to put humans through. It's like a it's

28:37

like a rat mays a little bit. I mean,

28:39

it's definitely. I even feel like the

28:41

crew. Mic Plice, the creator, said that it was like a

28:43

social experiment. Initially, I

28:46

could never do it. I would literally like the

28:48

thought of somebody that I liked

28:50

physically dating people and seeing it go on

28:53

in front of me, I would be a mess. Yeah,

28:56

it feels, you know, when you put it in that

28:58

perspective, it does feel quite unhealthy.

29:01

That was my that's my unpopular opinion.

29:04

So you just think it's like unhealthy for

29:06

people to put themselves through that mentally and

29:08

emotionally. Yeah, and also for like

29:10

the viewers to sometimes and feel like they have

29:12

a hard time disassociating like the reality

29:15

of it with how much of it's produced and how

29:17

much these people are kind of portrayed as a character,

29:20

because maybe that doesn't happen for everybody. But

29:22

I know, I was talking

29:24

to a girl who was on the show and they tried

29:26

to paint her as a villain um,

29:29

and she just was like, I'm not going to be that

29:31

person. I

29:33

mean, yeah, people can be

29:36

very involved and can

29:38

be very cruel to people

29:40

that they see like thirty minutes

29:42

of their life. Really totally, yeah,

29:45

it's really hard. Would you talk to who's

29:47

this villain? Katherine

29:50

Katherine Aggro Oh

29:52

yeah, she was on Culton

29:55

season. I think I don't

29:57

know what she was on. She

30:00

is very nice though, very very very

30:02

very nice, nice, very

30:05

nice. Um. We did get one question. I

30:07

just feel like we have so many questions we've got, Like, I

30:09

know, we're not hunter to be like a regular I know,

30:11

so we need like we need like a like a like

30:16

guy we have guy have

30:18

married men? Well you I'll

30:20

be your single guide, you know, guy,

30:24

our guide. Yeah. I

30:27

like that. I like

30:29

just kind of having you in our back pocket, just like

30:31

when we need some things. Because this girl just wrote she

30:33

said, what are your thoughts on splitting a bill on

30:35

a first date? This

30:38

is actually I kind of had. I

30:41

don't know why it was like controversial.

30:44

I was on another podcast and I said that I

30:46

will always pay for a day, probably

30:48

like the majority of the dates, unless

30:51

the woman is adamant that

30:53

she pays for something, maybe she just wants to do She's

30:55

like, it's not fair, You've paid for the last one or the last five

30:57

whatever. It takes a lot of convincing

30:59

for me not to pay, because again,

31:01

I get that I'm in a really I'm

31:04

in a really good position in life,

31:06

and I want to be able to help, you know, I

31:08

just want to be able to pay for a date. It's a nice thing to do for somebody.

31:11

Uh, but I always expect

31:13

thank you, I don't know, like

31:15

from anybody. Like if I bought coffee from my from

31:18

my guy friend and he didn't say, think you'd be like you're

31:21

being a weird, you know, Like

31:24

like I don't need to be thanked for the date. I

31:26

think that is a mutual thing. But like anytime

31:28

someone pays for something for me, I'm the

31:31

utmost grateful. I'm like, thank you,

31:33

so like that was so kindly you bought that gumball

31:36

at that gunball machine for me. I don't know however pay

31:38

you. Yeah,

31:41

that's a weird one. It is, and

31:44

I think there's become it's

31:46

kind of everything with the

31:49

the respecting, the feminist

31:51

view of like you know, now guys

31:53

are like, do I hold the door open for a girl

31:55

or is she gonna be mad herself?

31:58

And I'm like, I still

32:00

I like those things being

32:02

done for me too. I like when someone helps

32:04

me lift my suitcase into the bin

32:07

in the airplane because it's freaking heavy.

32:10

I respect it. I'm all about

32:12

the chivalry. I think if somebody makes it very

32:14

clear that they don't want that, then I'll

32:16

consider it and I'll be like, hey, alright, fine, but

32:19

it's just going to be natural for me to want to help my

32:21

partner. Doesn't matter if I was even even if

32:23

I was gay and I had a male partner, I'd want to open

32:25

the door for them. I'd want to pay for the meal. I

32:28

mean, preach it, preach it.

32:31

That's it's actually something very like I get into.

32:34

I don't not not like actual fights, but we get into like

32:36

conversations because I liked I

32:38

love to give, like I just that's like I just love

32:41

to give, and he's like the same

32:43

way, and so when I do too much,

32:45

Like he's like, you need to let me do a little

32:47

bit because that same feeling that you like,

32:49

Like he's like, I like that too, And I'm like, okay,

32:52

I'm gonna I'll let

32:54

you do this. Good

32:56

good balance. It's a good problem to have.

32:59

I the opposite. I agree. I agree, Um

33:02

Hunter, thank you as always for

33:05

joining us. Yeah, everybody tune into Nightly

33:07

Pop. It's Monday through Thursday nights on e

33:10

UM. They can follow you on Instagram.

33:12

It is just at Hunter March. Just at Hunter March.

33:14

Yeah, look for the shirtless photos. That's really

33:17

the indicator that you're on my page. And

33:19

then you can't find him on any dating

33:21

apps? Is that right? No dating

33:23

apps right now? But if there's somebody out

33:26

there who let me

33:28

think about, like what what I expect someone

33:30

who's smarter than me and like

33:32

it's funnier than me, or has a really good sense of humor.

33:35

I just want someone who's better than me in all

33:37

ways. I just want to be, you

33:39

know, taking care of by like a brilliant

33:41

person. Okay, I love

33:43

that. We'll see looking out for the intelligent,

33:46

funny, beautiful

33:50

heart and body women

33:53

know, just kidding

33:55

I do is kidding. We're looking for a beautiful heart

33:58

and someone that you click with on

34:00

an emotional, up physical,

34:04

an intelligent level. Yeah,

34:07

I think that's that's fair.

34:10

I'll let you guys know if if I meet one of your

34:12

followers for a date, I will go ahead

34:14

and give you all the details. Please

34:17

don't look back if you go out with

34:19

one of our scrubbers. Definitely not and

34:21

then we need to have you back like soon.

34:24

Yeah, maybe like every month

34:26

we have you on Nina

34:30

lucked already lucked in for I was like, what are you

34:32

doing Thursday, because I'm taking Aaron out

34:34

to just like congratulate her on her engagement,

34:36

and um, I'm already looped

34:38

or like roped Hunter into coming along or

34:41

at leastopping by for a drink. I'm in.

34:43

I will definitely do that, and uh,

34:45

if you guys want me back whenever you want. I realized

34:47

I've lived fairly close to Tanya,

34:50

so I can even do an in person

34:52

thing and we can all be in a room together, so

34:55

so cute. So we'll say, Okay, we're gonna save the

34:57

champagne that you brought and well we will

35:00

consume it next time you're on Okay,

35:03

exciting if we wait, but she's

35:08

making promises that we haven't agreed to as

35:10

a team. That's true, but I

35:12

thought it was a cute idea. That's a cute idea. Yeah,

35:15

we can't wait to have you back. They literally thank you

35:17

so much. I know you're busy and we really

35:19

appreciate your time. Yeah, thank you, Thank

35:21

you guys so much. And my last thing is if if either

35:23

of you were single, I would date both of you

35:25

in a heartbeat. You're both my type by

35:28

far and away better than most

35:30

of the people I go on dates with. So um,

35:33

just keep that in mind. Is your boyfriend date

35:35

us both at the same time. I

35:38

you know what's funny, It's like, I feel like if

35:40

anybody could do it, you guys have such a good chemistry

35:42

already that it would work. I'm just saying,

35:44

think about it when you know the

35:46

next time your boyfriend's yeah,

35:48

we'll think about that. Yeah. So that's a

35:50

that's a note. You know what's funny. We actually had the truth or

35:52

drink question and somebody was like, Tanya, what's off limits

35:55

for you in the bedroom? And I literally was like, I said

35:57

nothing, because I I really

35:59

thought, thinking and Becca was like, oh, you'd be down

36:01

for a three way and I was like, f no, Like

36:04

that is a hard note for me, Like I need all

36:06

the attention like on me, especially

36:09

like I'd be

36:11

like I turned. It could

36:13

be an emotional threesome, you know, like an

36:15

emotionally connected are

36:19

Yeah. Yeah, Well, thank you guys

36:21

so much, Grassland for years. I

36:23

will see you as soon as your boyfriends

36:25

mess up or next month for our weekly episode

36:29

by hunder By.

36:47

All Right, he's just the

36:49

best. He he looks like for

36:51

some reason, when when I was looking at him, he looked

36:53

like my brother today, my brother

36:55

Christopher, like your brother. I

36:57

never thought of that, I know, and my brother

36:59

was face show her right now. So like when I

37:01

was looking at him some of the times when he was talking,

37:04

I was like, it looks like Chris yeah,

37:06

And I just thought it was so So he comes he texts

37:08

me and he's like, hey, I'm out front.

37:11

I have something for you for you and Becca before we

37:13

do the show or before I come on the podcast, and

37:16

he has this like bottle of champagne. He's like, I just want

37:18

to say congrats on three years. It's so cool. And

37:20

then he had a bottle of champagne for Aaron because she just got engaged.

37:22

And I was like, that is like cute,

37:26

so thoughtful. And

37:29

he'd like listened to our last episode because he was like referencing

37:31

things like so cute.

37:35

Um, we didn't

37:37

even talk about our weeks. How how was your week? Last

37:39

time I saw you in

37:42

a week. I know, but it feels like

37:44

so this week felt very long.

37:47

Do you always feel like that? It felt

37:49

like it almost felt like we skipped a week because I feel

37:51

like I haven't seen you in so long. Yeah. So I

37:53

went from having like two minor

37:56

things at Red Star's house literally like my

37:58

brush head because I just

38:01

used his actual bruche and then um

38:03

a razor and I have fully move

38:06

like shampoo, conditioner,

38:09

face wash

38:11

like you name it, because he gave me

38:14

the whole thing. He's like you could put you this is yours,

38:16

whatever you want it. Yeah, I

38:18

just wanted to be like chill, So I was like, I'm just gonna

38:21

keep it. Why we talked about this a little

38:23

bit at a morning show meeting. Why

38:25

did you want to be chilled? Know?

38:28

It's so not me, Like I'm the one that's like, let's

38:30

build a love fern in your living room and like

38:33

water it and like do you know what I mean? Like that's

38:35

fully me, like the like coming

38:37

in hot um. I don't

38:39

know why, but there was something in me that was just telling

38:41

me to proceed with

38:43

caution. Just put a couple of things in

38:45

there and just like keep it, you know, keep

38:47

it soansy, keep it chill um.

38:50

But then I was like, it's actually

38:52

very annoying having to like pack

38:55

all my you know, just my toiletry bag.

38:57

It's like big, and I really when I go, I just bring

38:59

a couple of like shirts and stuff. It's not I don't need

39:02

that much stuff. So I was like, I

39:04

think it's just out of convenience easier

39:07

to just leave all this here. So I really

39:09

went from like two things to like now I have like

39:12

my face serum and my everything

39:16

kind of and then like it's actually really cute

39:19

because I have to do my makeup like on

39:21

the ground of his bathroom.

39:23

So I sit down on the ground, I do a makeup, and

39:25

he was every time I do it, He's just like I don't, like, what

39:27

can I get you to like make you more comfortable in here? Blah,

39:30

And I'm fine, like I'm fine and fine and fine. But

39:32

he ended up getting like a little vanity mirror to

39:34

like put in the bathroom in a little stool so that I

39:36

can sit on a stool and you have to do on the floor.

39:40

Why are you on the floor? Yeah? What what's on? Because

39:43

like he has no the mirrors are like full length,

39:45

like um top to you know, steiling to the

39:48

ground, and so I like to be right in front

39:50

of the mirror when I do my makeup. I can't like bend over

39:52

the sink. I don't like to bend over the sink,

39:54

so I just like park it on the floor

39:56

and just get right in there. And

39:59

so but now I have a little vanity

40:01

and a little stool. That's really cute,

40:03

very thoughtful. So big week over here.

40:06

Yeah, I'm huge information, huge

40:09

moves. Yeah, I remember

40:11

that weird in between time of having

40:13

to carry my toiletry bag back and forth,

40:16

it was like finally,

40:18

and I don't even know if I was actually asked

40:21

to bring some I just brought it and left it

40:23

like I didn't think too much about it.

40:26

I know. Then that's my problem. I think way too

40:28

much because when he didn't offer, I

40:30

kept wanting him to offer to leave me stuff. And then when

40:32

I finally got the offer to leave all my stuff, I

40:34

was like, I'm not gonna do it. You're so

40:37

stubborn. Um.

40:39

Well, over the weekend, So Friday

40:41

night, I went to this like birthday

40:44

get together on someone's rooftop

40:46

and I drank this. So

40:48

two things I did Friday that we're out of the norm.

40:51

I don't think it was a drink by the way. Okay,

40:54

So I took these supplements earlier in the day.

40:56

Um, and I had read reviews. I like,

40:58

literally I actually looked into

41:01

them before I took them. They had amazing

41:03

reviews. People were like these change in my life, blah

41:05

blah blah over like twenty reviews

41:08

by the way. So I took them,

41:10

ready for my life to change. Go

41:12

on with my day, go to this rooftop

41:14

thing and I drink this. It was like a pre made

41:17

um like it was basically a pre

41:19

made spicy margarita. But um,

41:22

I later I get home and my

41:25

face, I take a shower. I don't do anything

41:27

new in my shower, like no body wash, no

41:29

lotion, anything that was different, and my

41:31

face is like on fire and

41:33

it's like red and

41:36

I'm like, something just feels weird

41:38

because I feel like my face feels like I have a fever,

41:41

but my temperature is normal. So

41:43

um. I go to get

41:45

in bed and I realized, like my I have like hives

41:48

and um on my arms and legs, which

41:50

I've never had before. I've never had an

41:52

allergic reaction. So I was like,

41:54

all right, I'm just gonna take some bin a drill and hopefully

41:56

it kills it and I'm fine tomorrow. So I

41:59

woke up the next day and I looked into the drink

42:01

that I had and had some sort of chili

42:03

in it that I wasn't familiar. You know, normally

42:06

I'll have a halopano or something in my spicy

42:08

margarita, but this is like some sort of chili. So

42:11

um, nothing gets better.

42:14

And finally I'm just like, I'm going to go to urgent

42:16

care and hopefully they can help me out. They

42:18

give me a huge steroid shot. My

42:21

butt like felt like I had a Charlie Horse for

42:23

like forty five minutes, and wake

42:25

up the next day the hives have gone

42:28

down, but then my chest, in my face

42:30

and my neck were like it looks like I had

42:32

a severe sunburn, but I hadn't been in the sun,

42:35

and so one of my friends who's a nurse, said

42:37

I should either go back to urgent care or

42:40

just go straight to the e R and see if I'm

42:42

having another reaction maybe to the steroid

42:44

shot. So I go and wait in the e R for

42:47

like four hours for the doctor

42:49

to basically be like, well, it's

42:52

not a typical allergic reaction,

42:54

so maybe just go home and take more ben

42:56

a drill and if it's not better in a week, come

42:58

back. And I was just

43:00

so frustrated because I'm

43:04

like, I know my body

43:06

and something, I'm reacting to something, and all

43:08

you can tell me is to take more ben a drill that I've been

43:10

taking every five hours for two days

43:12

now, and so um

43:15

Luckily a female nurse came in, so

43:17

I had a male doctor, nothing against men, but like,

43:19

you know, there's just like a different level of compassion

43:21

with females. And she comes

43:23

in and I was like, is there nothing you can prescribe

43:26

or do you know he just told me to take

43:29

ben a drill. So she ended up helping me out and

43:31

got like a prescription um

43:33

written for me. But I was thinking, like, you really

43:35

do have to advocate for your your

43:37

body because like he

43:39

basically I waited for four hours for him

43:41

to basically tell me to go home and keep doing what I

43:44

was doing. And I had to kind

43:46

of step up out of my comfort zone when

43:48

the nurse came in and be like, can you can

43:50

you help me? Like, can someone just

43:53

give me peace of mind? Write me a fake

43:55

prescription. I don't care, just like, help me

43:57

out, give me a placebo? Yeah. So,

43:59

m I I feel better today

44:02

and I think everything's pretty much

44:04

normal from what I can tell. But it was. It

44:06

was like a rough weekend. I

44:09

didn't post anything. I was just like gonna then

44:11

a drill coma, Like that's

44:14

so scary. Let me tell you man, I

44:16

don't think it was a drink. I am a firm

44:19

supplement. You gotta really check. Yeah. Sure.

44:22

So then I went back and I typed in the supplement

44:24

name, and then I typed in allergic reaction

44:27

afterwards, and there were just a few comments

44:29

here and there that said I took this. I

44:31

was hoping that I would love it, but I got a rash all

44:33

over my body, so I think, but

44:35

the doctor said it could be either or so

44:38

I'm not going to take the chance with either

44:40

ever. Again, that's

44:43

the moral of the story. But the other moral is that

44:45

you need to speak up when you go to the doctor because

44:48

you've got to advocate for yourself. What we talked about

44:50

last week. Don't even get me started. You have a U

44:52

t I. Oh no, you don't have a U tast Stop taking the prescription.

44:54

Thanks. Three days later, I'm antibiotic

44:57

ng my body for no reason. Like, so

45:00

insane. How much more that happens with women too,

45:02

Like I've seen it with Alison, Like she'll go to the doctor

45:04

and like like this is wrong, and it will

45:06

be a man and he's like, no, it's not. And then

45:08

like ten doctors later, women included,

45:11

like she'll finally get someone that's like, oh, this is what's

45:13

happening, and it's just like it's it's so insane.

45:15

It just it breaks my heart that all these people.

45:18

It's so interesting because you really do, like

45:20

you really have to just like yeah,

45:22

I know your body and just really

45:25

keep going until you figure it out.

45:27

And you have to be like, I'm not crazy, something's

45:30

up. Just do a little

45:33

more, at least act like you care a

45:35

little bit more. You just looked at me as like, hmm,

45:39

have you tried Ben, Yeah, have you tried

45:41

have you tried your leaping? Yeah? Yeah,

45:43

thanks dude, are you drinking water? Yes?

45:47

Um. So anyways, that was about the That

45:50

was the most exciting thing that happened to me. Unfortunately

45:53

over the weekend. It's fine,

45:55

you're moving in rationale

46:03

worried about you all weekend. I was like, I

46:05

know, well, you can tell everyone

46:07

just like needs a little bit of excitement

46:09

in their life. Because I had so many people checking

46:11

in on me because I was like going into the urgent

46:14

care and then they are, and you would have thought

46:16

that I had I don't have like a

46:18

massive surgery or something, because I was

46:21

being checked on and it really made me feel very

46:23

loud. I was like, I have a rash and everyone's like

46:26

checking in, like with my sister. She okay.

46:30

So thanks to all who reached out. I appreciate

46:33

the love and UM,

46:36

but I know we have some emails we're gonna get

46:38

to, but we're gonna take a quick break and

46:41

we will be right back. Alright,

46:58

We're back. Um, we have some top

47:00

emails. I would say this week that Mark's

47:03

going to get to Um, Mark, are

47:05

you ready? To lend us your boy, your

47:07

beautiful, dean, relaxing

47:09

boy. Thank you, Becky, I'd be happy to This

47:12

is from anonymous. My boyfriend

47:14

and I have been together four and a half years. We've lived

47:16

together for three and a half. He's thirty eight, almost

47:18

thirty nine. I'm thirty five. We don't

47:20

plan to have kids. We've gone ring

47:22

shopping my request, and after lots of annoying

47:24

reminders, I picked one and it's been ordered

47:26

and purchased. To my knowledge, he hasn't

47:28

going to pick it up. He doesn't agree with

47:31

how I want to be proposed to. I don't want anything

47:33

extreme, but I want some thought put

47:35

into it and for it to be special. He

47:37

just wants to basically hand it to me and ask me to marry

47:40

him. He said he hasn't done it yet because

47:42

it'll spiral into the wedding planning and ultimately

47:44

the wedding that he also doesn't agree with me on

47:47

for the plans, he'd prefer the courthouse,

47:49

which is a note for me. I'm a wedding

47:51

planner. I'm starting

47:54

to think the happiest days of my life the proposal

47:56

on the wedding are just not going to happen with him.

47:59

Do I just give up on those dreams of it being special

48:01

because of him? Or do I just need

48:03

to come to the realization that he's not my

48:06

guy if he isn't willing to budge

48:08

and make me feel special. M

48:10

hmm, I

48:12

have I'm sitting here thinking. I was just

48:15

thinking as you're reading that about Alison

48:17

and Easton celebrating their three year anniversary

48:20

and the thoughtfulness that went into

48:22

what they planned for each other after

48:26

still three years of being together, and this

48:28

girl he won't even acknowledge

48:32

her needs or once like

48:34

this is in my opinion, this is not your

48:36

guy, right, Am I wrong? Year? I

48:40

mean, that's hard to say that after four and a half

48:43

years together. At

48:45

the beginning of this email, I related to

48:47

the guy only because I would not have

48:49

wanted to be kind of harangued

48:52

about getting a ring and this is

48:54

the one I want, And when are you going to buy it? And when

48:56

are you going to propose? Because I want to do that all

48:58

in my own time and it to be a surprise

49:01

and I want her to cry and not see it coming.

49:03

And if you're bringing it up every other day, you're always going

49:05

to see it coming. So at the beginning, I was like, Oh,

49:07

this is just a guy who kind of wants to do his own thing. But

49:09

it sounds like his own thing is

49:12

really really lame. So I think

49:14

you have to decide is what's

49:16

more important to you this guy

49:18

or someone who makes you feel really special,

49:21

because I don't know that they can they're the

49:23

same person. Okay, here's

49:25

my thought. Though. I can't

49:27

imagine that he would

49:29

do it if she wasn't in

49:32

stating it, like would he ever go

49:34

and shop for a ring? But he ever

49:36

proposed if she wasn't having

49:38

to bring it up all the time. This

49:41

man does not want to get married. He does not like

49:43

that. Other linaries like I mean,

49:46

once we get you know, once I propose, then

49:48

it's going to just spiral into the wedding planning.

49:50

And it's like, yeah, that's the next step, bro, Like,

49:54

uh, it sounds like he doesn't want to do it at all.

49:56

That's that's the vibe I'm getting from this well,

49:58

and that's also you could say that, you know, the the two

50:00

circles of the ven diagram of people who don't

50:02

want kids and people who don't want to get married, there's significant

50:05

cross over there. So I would say that he maybe

50:07

doesn't want either of those two things. Well,

50:10

she seems fine, I mean they I think they both agree

50:12

on not wanting kids. But I just feel like

50:15

he doesn't for her to have to

50:17

put in all the effort for something that

50:19

he doesn't want. It feels

50:21

like that's gonna lead

50:23

into every other thing in their relationship

50:26

of like where they disagree on how

50:28

things go, which will just kind of be disappointing

50:31

honestly for both of them as long as they're

50:33

together. In my opinion, you've

50:35

been so quiet for this evening, you know, she's just making

50:37

a sad like that's

50:39

your question. It's

50:44

interesting because like my first instinct

50:46

was maybe there's like a compromise

50:49

that like the two of them could come to where they both

50:51

feel comfortable. But it's also like, why

50:53

should you have to compromise on something that like

50:56

is so beautiful and so special?

50:58

You know, Like that's actually makes me

51:00

kind of sad. I

51:03

know it's I guess initially

51:06

I should have just said sorry, you're going

51:08

through this, because it's the thing

51:10

is we say, like get out of the relation. You know,

51:12

this isn't your guy. But they've been together for a long

51:14

time, So it's not that easy to just say

51:17

like, okay, I'm done because we don't

51:19

agree on this topic. But I think if

51:21

you look long term, is this going to be the rest

51:23

of your life? Or you have needs and

51:25

ones and desires and they're not fulfilled because

51:27

they're not his desires and needs and ones.

51:31

I mean talk about not being sensitive to her needs.

51:33

She's a wedding planner. How many

51:35

weddings has she vicariously lived

51:37

through over the past how many years? And

51:39

he's like, I'll just give me the ring, we'll get out

51:41

of the cart house. That'll be that. Like that is

51:44

those are two different universes, Yeah,

51:47

because if he

51:50

was able to compromise, if there was some

51:52

sort of him meeting in the middle and like whether

51:54

it was the proposal or what the wedding looked

51:56

like, or maybe it was like we get married at the courthouse,

51:58

but then we have a big seller ration or party and

52:01

not like a traditional wedding, like you know,

52:03

meet halfway. But it seems like he

52:05

wants it just to be so easy

52:08

and what he wants and simple with no thought

52:11

where she wants the love story like

52:13

the romantic fairy tale. I

52:18

don't know, I just don't. I I just

52:20

see this going in a way where it's a pattern and it's

52:22

not. It doesn't end here with the wedding. Yeah,

52:27

agreed, all right? Next up, this

52:30

is from Molly. A friend from college

52:32

moved to the same town as me. We ended up going on

52:34

a two dates. Seemed to be going in a good direction. Then

52:36

he ghosted me. I didn't hear from him

52:39

for months, but eventually we reconnected and continued

52:41

a friendship over time. He made some romantic

52:43

gestures, but never verbalized how he felt

52:46

or referenced the time

52:48

before when he liked me and ghosted me. This

52:50

is on and off for two years. Finally

52:53

I had enough, went out to dinner and I straight up asked

52:55

him, Look, how do you feel? He liked

52:57

me the whole time, but he was too nervous

52:59

or scared or intimidated. I

53:02

hated that I had the ball to bring

53:04

all this up and find out how he felt instead

53:06

of this grown man doing it himself.

53:09

A few days later, I said, I think we're just

53:11

better off as friends. Well, he

53:13

got a girlfriend a few months later. They were together

53:16

for a long time. I thought about him when

53:18

COVID hit and after some deep stalking. I

53:20

came to find out he was single again, and I texted

53:22

him. We've talked on and off the last few

53:24

months, but we haven't hung out. I'm twenty

53:27

seven. I wanted to hear your opinions and whether

53:29

I should pursue this, give it another shot, or

53:31

just leave things be. You're

53:37

quiet on the last one, So shoot your shot,

53:39

girl, shoot

53:43

your shot? Why

53:45

not because she's already shot

53:47

her shot with this guy? But they like,

53:49

I think, how many years shot?

53:51

Did she say? How many years they had in between? And

53:55

she said for two years?

53:57

And this is during COVID. I

54:00

think, I think, I shoot your shot is fine, But I think,

54:03

because here's here's why your

54:05

shot. But don't like, don't like, don't keep

54:07

shooting the same shot again again. But

54:10

guys, as we've said before, are

54:12

the worst. Guys take

54:15

a long time to bake. He

54:17

wasn't done yet. Before I

54:19

would go open the oven, stick

54:21

the toothpick in see if he's done yet. Analogies

54:28

he might be. He might be a fully

54:30

formed adult at this point. He wasn't before.

54:33

It's worth checking in to find out. But

54:37

she said. We've talked on and off over the last

54:39

few months, but haven't hung out. So why

54:41

why why isn't he shooting the shot?

54:44

Because maybe he's nervous with Corona. I'm

54:46

telling you, if I were single, i'd be and you

54:48

know me, I would go on a date like no

54:51

big deal. But if somebody asked me to date right

54:53

now, I'd kind of be like, But he

54:55

just said, how do you feel about going on a date? We

54:57

talked about this so many times before on the morning show

54:59

too, where guys are so they're

55:02

so scared, they're so scared

55:04

of rejection, they're so scared of putting themselves

55:06

out there. There's such little woosses that

55:08

they won't actually do it. They want to actually

55:11

say it, that this guy would have just hung

55:13

out with her for years, because god

55:15

forbid, he tells her how he feels he

55:17

might be in the same situation. So that's a red

55:19

flag that he hasn't actually said anything. But

55:21

the fact that you were the one rejected him before,

55:24

Molly, I think it's worth you kind of

55:26

opening the door crack again, giving

55:28

him a chance to step through it. Yeah,

55:31

okay, but he's got a step she she all

55:33

she can do is open the door and if he doesn't step through.

55:36

She's got to move on. Yeah, just drop

55:38

the hanky, Just drop it really

55:40

slow, let him pick it up

55:42

and wipe his nose with it.

55:45

It's not I did not know where he was going, honestly.

55:51

Yeah, whatever he wants to do with it,

55:54

Yeah, put it. I mean like, yeah, shoot

55:56

your shot, but not don't

55:58

shoot it so hard that he gets

56:00

a free pass. Not put any effort in. Right, It's

56:02

like you're not giving him like two free

56:04

throws, but you're giving him

56:07

Oh, she's a Lakers fan now, so here

56:09

she is. Yeah,

56:13

exactly, but you're giving him like

56:15

a tip off. Another

56:17

podcast, just more great advice

56:19

and analogies for all of you.

56:21

You open the door. But if you keep letting him

56:23

not make any decisions, the next thing you know, he's

56:25

gonna want to get married at the city

56:28

Hall and you're gonna want it's gonna be a whole You're gonna end

56:30

up like Anonymous. So careful, the red flags

56:32

are already there. That was a full circle

56:34

moment um. That's

56:36

all we have today. I know, Eastern you have something

56:39

you want to share and need a little bit

56:41

of help from everyone and some prayers.

56:43

If you want to go ahead and cha yeah, yeah, this is a really

56:46

really heartbreaking thing. UM. So my

56:48

friend Chris Roman, he's a he's

56:50

the guy that like we kind of cooked up the whole Carminal

56:53

Corn Princess thing like that started between with

56:55

as a joke between him and I. Uh, he's a

56:57

very close friend of mine. Um, and he's going

56:59

through something really really bad right now. He

57:01

and his wife, Jordan's, she's a you know,

57:03

they're really close with Alison and I.

57:06

They were moving into their first home. Oh

57:08

god, this is three weeks ago now, and uh,

57:10

they were like loading a box and she stepped into

57:12

a pothole and broke her ankle and

57:15

like that's a bummer. Uh, and

57:17

went to the hospital and she had to have surgery the next

57:19

day. And it's like a totally routine thing like that

57:21

happens all the time. And then uh,

57:24

during the surgery, she went into cardiac arrest

57:27

and uh, they they called

57:30

Chris to come back because they're like, hey,

57:32

something's gone wrong. And he came in and saw her

57:34

flatlining like on the table, which

57:37

is like a heartbreaking image. And they were able

57:39

to bring her back, but she was gone

57:41

for a while, so there was significant brain

57:44

trauma. UM. So as

57:47

it is now she's medically unconscious,

57:50

but she's breathing on her own. Um,

57:53

but she's you know, she's she's non responsive

57:55

right now. Uh. And it's

57:59

it's the type of thing you never think this kind of

58:01

thing could happen, especially doing something so

58:04

simple as like you're just like moving a box

58:06

like she wasn't like on a motorcycle or like doing anything

58:08

super risky. But

58:12

I just can't stop thinking about their situation

58:15

because like all you can right

58:17

now, they're pretty much just like hoping she wakes up,

58:19

um, and she's suiting.

58:22

You know, they're they're like twenty five, they're very

58:24

young. Um. She was

58:26

admitted to a rehab facility

58:29

that they're going to move her to next week, but

58:32

I mean it's been several weeks at this point.

58:34

Uh. And it's like it's

58:37

the type of thing where like right now, what we can really

58:39

do is like pray and like hope

58:41

that something miraculous happens.

58:44

So that's like what I'm asking

58:47

people to do is like you

58:49

know, like I'm not a

58:51

very religious person, but this is like definitely

58:55

like got in my mind to go

58:58

to certain places, and I just think

59:01

that like with the power of

59:03

positive thinking, Like that's you know,

59:05

a really powerful tool with this

59:07

UM. So you know, if if if

59:10

people have some time in their day to just send

59:12

some good vibes to my my friend Chris and his wife

59:14

Jordans, like they really really need it right now. Yeah,

59:18

I mean I know we have. If everyone,

59:21

I think there's power and prayer and positive

59:23

thinking and the amount of people that are

59:25

listening to this podcast, if everyone

59:27

can just join in and at

59:29

some point in your day just think about this couple

59:31

and what they're going through and pray for a miracle

59:35

and um just

59:37

support them. I know. I saw Alison posted

59:39

their go fund me too, because like the

59:41

hospital bills, it's like just such

59:43

an unexpected situation

59:46

and like not being financially prepared,

59:48

and just any way we can do to help them out, whether

59:51

whether it's praying, if you can donate, donate,

59:54

UM, but I I believe

59:56

in the power of multiples

59:58

coming together. I'm to pray right now.

1:00:00

Do you guys want to pray right now? Yes? I

1:00:03

mean I know we can't hear we can hold hands.

1:00:06

Her name is Jordan, name Chris Chris,

1:00:09

right, do you want to start or doing me to do

1:00:11

the whole thing. Okay, dear

1:00:13

Lord, please please, we are holding

1:00:16

hands. We are here praying for a

1:00:18

miracle for Jordan's, for Chris. Please put

1:00:20

your hands over Jordan. Bring her back to us. Bring

1:00:22

her back. Lord, We know you can make these

1:00:24

miracles happen. Please

1:00:26

please, please just put your hand over this

1:00:28

family and guide her in Jesus

1:00:31

name. Amen, Thank

1:00:34

you, thank you very much. I like this

1:00:36

type of thing shouldn't happen to anyone. But

1:00:39

the thing that like I just can't. I

1:00:41

have such a hard time rationalizing, is like Jordan's

1:00:45

her line of work. She she like

1:00:48

does so much community outreach. She worked at a

1:00:50

food bank. Her she just got a new job where

1:00:52

she's working with refugee families and like getting

1:00:54

them places to live and like resources

1:00:56

and stuff like like literally all she does is

1:00:58

like give to people. And then

1:01:01

you know, and then she was doing something so simple, uh

1:01:04

and had this like incredibly

1:01:06

horrible thing happened. It's like it's just so hard

1:01:08

to like wrap my I've

1:01:10

just been going crazy thinking about it. Um.

1:01:14

But but anyway, I just thank you very

1:01:16

much for letting me, for supporting

1:01:18

them and everything. I appreciate it from

1:01:20

the bottom of my heart. I can't honestly can't imagine

1:01:23

because I'm heartbroken just hearing your story.

1:01:25

So UM,

1:01:28

so yeah, if everyone can and we'll put

1:01:30

it. We'll put a slipe out for the go fund me and

1:01:32

the scrubbing in in the Facebook group and the

1:01:35

on the Instagram, so look

1:01:37

out for that. UM. Anything helps

1:01:40

obviously. UM. But with

1:01:42

that said, we will

1:01:45

be back next week, and

1:01:47

I hope everyone has a great week. If

1:01:49

anything, that's such a reminder of just be

1:01:53

kind of people, be gentle with yourself,

1:01:55

and just know that you don't know what anyone's

1:01:57

going through, So when you go to speek

1:02:00

to people that are strangers online

1:02:02

or whatever it is, be kind because everyone's

1:02:04

going through different things right now, and UM,

1:02:07

we can all use a little bit more of that in

1:02:10

this time. UM. But we love

1:02:12

you all and we will be

1:02:15

back next week. I love you