Sure, birds can fly- but can they dig? No! At least, I don't think so. You know what, if a bird can fly and dig, it's probably not friendly. Trust no one. Fear everything.

Behind!

23 days ago 10m 30s

Crumbs in the couch, crumbs in my shirt, call me a damn crumb cake (if you dare).

Daddy, I'm Sucking These Grits Dry!

Apr 5th, 2024 5m 23s

When there's a ghost you need to bust, who you gonna call?Constantine. I feel like that guy is probably better equipped to handle something like that. Shia Laberdoodle is his friend and that counts for something (and something isn't nothing).

Ok, So

Mar 21st, 2024 9m 46s

In all seriousness- I think I talked into the microphone that wasn't recording. Sorry. Actually, no I'm not. This is an artistic choice, dog. Be cool. Damn, I fucked up.

The IRS Stole My Son!

Mar 13th, 2024 10m 11s

There isn't always a pot of gold at the ned of the rainbow, but there is always a man with a green hat who has been overserved.

Treasure Chest

Mar 8th, 2024 12m 11s

I'm talking about big cans. Mombo jombos.

Sunemployent

Mar 5th, 2024 11m 14s

What more is there to say.

A Whole New World

Mar 2nd, 2024 12m 28s

I don't know what the hell is going on, but it's raining. Rain rain go away, come again another day. I gotta find better shoes.

Catch Me

Mar 2nd, 2024 9m 35s

The waves are ridden. Big shredders. Your face meets mine. We kiss under the beaming glow of Trump tower. We never see each other again. For shame.

Moments Before

Mar 2nd, 2024 5m 33s

This takes a turn

They're Teenagers Now

Feb 28th, 2024 14m 8s

But in the future, they'll have powers.

Crimbus Morning

Feb 28th, 2024 16m 35s

I really need a doctor.

Live From a Parking Lot

Feb 24th, 2024 11m 32s

All glory unto he who kisses the whole hole of the ass.

Hands Up

Feb 20th, 2024 16m 28s

The river was running so we had to dam it up. It's all plugged now. I remember when plugs didn't just mean for hair- it's a damn shame that age comes faster than youth leaves you. Anyways, I was thinking about getting fast food later.

Gibberish, A Language For Monarchs

Feb 16th, 2024 7m 21s

A man walks into a bar. He's not doing well. His wife left, his house burned down, and his car is quite literally, a nitrous fueled forklift. If this isn't hell, I don't know what is.

Philly to Pittsburgh

Feb 13th, 2024 10m 30s

The churning. Butter. My guts. Yum yum in my tum tum.

The Motherload

Feb 10th, 2024 28m 5s

Mama Mia, here I go again. I smoked a really lot amount. This was a big $40 blunt. Really too much, if I'm being honest. I feel like I've ruined my day, ergo. I think I'm gonna start using a bunch of malapropisms here. You're conceived, sir