0:01

Pacifica lovers know every day brings

0:03

new adventures like discovering this delicious

0:05

tacos, putting your city that only

0:07

the to locals know about. Where

0:10

you run into friends who have a spare ticket to

0:12

see one of your favorite bands. Celebrate

0:16

another day done right. Pacific.

0:20

Go live like a yourself

0:22

discover responsibly Pacific Atlanta Be

0:24

imported by Chrome Import. Chicago,

0:26

Illinois. Hi,

0:29

it's Meg wallet sir. I. Love

0:31

for the holidays. all of them trimmed

0:33

the tree, polish the menorah, find those

0:35

presents and love the chance to see

0:38

family and friends, exchange recipes, and spend

0:40

a lot of time at the kitchen

0:42

table. All of which means I'm

0:44

a little busy, so I'm handing this

0:46

week's show over to another busy writer,

0:48

David Sudairis. I'll be back next year

0:50

and hope you will to! Outside.

1:00

On the sidewalk there were people

1:02

laughing arm in arm, holding their

1:04

faces up to the forewings. Know.

1:06

What's the big deal? Snows just

1:08

rain that's been left out in

1:10

the cold. This

1:15

week on Selected George Christmas Magic.

1:17

Like it or not, I'm

1:20

David Sedaris. You are listening to Select

1:22

A Charles. Program. That brings

1:24

you great short fiction. Read live

1:26

onstage Symphony Space in New York

1:29

City. In

1:32

this episode of selected shorts, we

1:34

hear stories about people ready to

1:37

defy the usual holiday protocols. The

1:39

protagonists seek to create their own.

1:42

Wintery magic though they might get

1:44

waylaid by ice on the interstate.

1:46

Or price tags on present. They.

1:49

Also come out with new. Ways to appreciate

1:51

the season. The. Joy

1:53

of Christmas said it's a family

1:55

holiday and the sorrow is that

1:57

families shift. Parents' Divorce.

2:00

People die or wander off. Empty

2:02

spaces are left at the table, and

2:04

those of us remaining are frequently having

2:07

to. In the words of

2:09

my favorite Carol, muddle through Somehow.

2:12

So if nothing else, let's celebrate.

2:14

Our resilience. It's Christmas

2:16

dammit. Oh First Story

2:18

Powder is by novelists memoirists

2:21

and short story master Tobias

2:23

Wolff. This. Is selected

2:25

Swords. Late sounder I say.

2:27

Schaeffer reading symbols was. Just

2:40

before Christmas my father took me

2:42

skating at Mt. Baker. It.

2:45

Had to fight for the privilege of

2:47

my company because my mother was still angry

2:49

with him for sneaky me into a nightclub

2:51

during our last visit to see Felonious Month.

2:55

He. Wouldn't give up. He promised hand on

2:57

heart to take good care of mates and

2:59

have me home for dinner on Christmas Eve.

3:02

And. She. Relented,

3:04

But as we were checking out the lodge

3:07

that morning, it began to snow. And

3:09

in this know he observed some quality

3:11

that made it necessary for us to

3:14

get in one last ski run. We.

3:17

Got in several last runs.

3:20

He was indifferent to my fretting. Snow.

3:22

World around us and bitter blinding schools

3:25

hissing like sand and still we skied

3:27

as the list boras to the peak

3:29

yet again my father looked at as

3:31

watch and said criminal this will have

3:33

to be a fast one. By.

3:36

Now I couldn't see the trail. There.

3:39

Was no point in trying. I stuck to

3:41

him like white on rice and did what

3:43

he did and somehow made it to the

3:45

bottom without sailing off a cliff. We.

3:48

Returned are skis and my father put

3:50

chains on the Austin Healey while I

3:52

swayed from foot to foot, clapping my

3:55

mittens and wishing I were home. I.

3:57

Could see everything. The. green table

4:00

cloth, the plates with the

4:02

holly pattern, the red candles

4:04

waiting to be lit. We

4:07

passed a diner on our way out. You

4:10

want some soup? My father asked. I

4:12

shook my head. Buck up. He said, I'll get you

4:14

there. Right, doctor? I

4:17

was supposed to say right, doctor, but

4:19

I didn't say anything. A

4:21

state trooper waved us down outside

4:24

the resort. A pair of

4:26

saw horses were blocking the road. The

4:29

trooper came up to our car and bent down

4:31

to my father's window. His face was bleached

4:33

by the cold snowflakes clung to his eyebrows and

4:35

to the fur trim of his jacket and cap.

4:38

Don't tell me, my father said. The

4:41

trooper told him. The

4:44

road was closed. It might

4:46

get cleared. It might not. Storm took

4:48

everyone by surprise. So much, so fast. Hard

4:51

to get people moving. Christmas Eve. What

4:53

can you do? My father

4:55

said, look, we're talking about four or five inches.

4:57

I've taken this car through worse than that. The

5:00

trooper straightened up, boots creaking. His

5:02

face was out of sight, but I could

5:04

hear him. The road is closed. My

5:08

father sat with both hands on the wheel,

5:10

rubbing the wood with his thumbs. He

5:13

looked at the barricade for a long time. He

5:15

seemed to be trying to master the idea of

5:17

it. Then

5:20

he thanked the trooper and with a

5:22

weird old matey show of caution, turned

5:25

the car around. Your

5:27

mother will never forgive me for this, he

5:29

said. We should

5:31

have left before, I said, doctor. He

5:36

didn't speak to me again until we were both

5:38

in a booth at the diner waiting for our

5:40

burgers. She won't forgive

5:43

me, he said. Do you

5:45

understand? Never. I guess, I

5:47

said, but no guesswork was required. She wouldn't

5:49

forgive him. I

5:52

can't let that happen. He bent toward me. I'll

5:54

tell you what I want. I want us

5:56

to be together again. Is That what you want?

6:00

I wouldn't sure, but I said yes

6:02

sir. He bumped my chin.

6:05

What his knuckles? That's. All I needed

6:07

to hear. When we

6:09

finished eating he went to the pay phone in

6:11

the back of a diner then join me in

6:13

the both. again. I figured he called my mother

6:15

but he didn't give a report. He sips it

6:18

is coffee and stared out the window at the

6:20

empty road. Come. On. When.

6:22

The troopers car went past lights

6:24

flashing. He got up, dropped some

6:26

money on the check. Okay, Obama

6:28

knows. The. Wind had died,

6:30

the snow is falling straight down. Less of

6:32

that now lighter. We drove away from the

6:35

resort right up to the barricade. Move.

6:37

It my father told me. When

6:40

I looked at him he said what are

6:42

you waiting for. I. Got out

6:44

and drag one of the saw horses aside,

6:46

then pushed it back after he drove through.

6:49

When. I got inside the car, he said. Now.

6:52

You're an accomplice. We go down together.

6:56

He put the car and deer and looked at me.

6:58

Jokes are. Funny

7:01

doctor. Down

7:04

the first long stretch, I watch the road

7:06

behind us to see if the trooper was

7:08

on our tail. The barricade vanished. Then.

7:10

There was nothing but snow. Snow.

7:13

On the road. Snow. Kicking up from

7:15

the chains, snow on the trees, snow in

7:17

the sky it's and are trail in the

7:20

snow. I. Faced around and

7:22

had a shock. The lie of the road

7:24

behind us had been marked by our own

7:26

tracks. That. There were no tracks ahead

7:28

of us. My. Father

7:30

was breaking virgin snow between a

7:33

line of tall trees. He

7:35

was humming stars foul on Alabama.

7:38

I felt snow brush along the

7:40

floorboards under my seat. To keep

7:42

my hands from shaking. I clamped

7:44

them between my knees. My.

7:46

Father grunted and a thoughtful way and

7:48

said. Don't. Ever try

7:51

this yourself? I

7:53

won't. That's what

7:55

you say now. but someday you'll get your

7:57

license or than you think you can do

7:59

anything only you won't be able to do

8:01

the you need. I don't know. a certain

8:03

instinct. Maybe I have

8:05

it. You. Don't. You

8:09

have your strong points but not you know

8:11

I only mentioned because I don't want you

8:13

to get the idea of this is something

8:15

just anybody can do. I am a great

8:18

driver as not a virtue okay just a

8:20

fact when you should be aware of. Course.

8:23

Have to give the whole heap some credit to the

8:25

aren't many cause I try this with. Listen.

8:29

And listen. I. Heard the slap

8:31

of the chains. The. Stis jerky,

8:33

rest of the wipers, the

8:35

per of the engine. It

8:37

really did per. The.

8:40

Car was almost new, my father couldn't afford

8:42

it and kept promising to sell it's but

8:44

here it was. I.

8:46

Said. Where. Do you

8:48

think that policemen went to. Are.

8:51

You warm enough? He reached over

8:53

and cranked up the blower. Then.

8:55

He turned off the wipers, We.

8:58

Didn't need them. The. Clouds it

9:00

brightened a few sparse feather. It's like

9:02

stripped it on to our slipstream and

9:04

was swept away. It's we less the

9:06

trees and entered abroad field of snow

9:08

that ran level for a while and

9:10

then tilted sharply downwards. Are and steaks

9:12

had been planted at intervals in two

9:14

parallel lines and my father ran a

9:16

course between them. Although. There

9:18

were far enough apart to leave considerable

9:21

doubt in my mind as to where

9:23

exactly the roadway. He

9:25

was humming again doing little scared or

9:28

if surround the melody. Okay,

9:31

then. What? Are my strong points.

9:34

Don't get me started. he said it had take all

9:36

day. Right

9:38

name one. Easy.

9:41

You. Always think ahead. To

9:44

I always thought ahead. I. Was

9:46

a boy who kept his clothes on Numbered

9:49

hangar is to ensure proper rotation. i

9:55

bothered my teachers for homework assignments

9:57

far ahead of their due dates

10:00

so I could make up schedules. I thought ahead,

10:02

and that was why I knew that there would

10:04

be other troopers waiting for us at the end

10:06

of our ride. If

10:10

we got there, what

10:12

I did not know was that my father

10:14

would wheedle and plead his way past them.

10:17

He didn't sing, oh, Tannenbaum, but just

10:19

about, and that he

10:21

would get me home for dinner buying a little

10:24

more time before my mother decided to make the

10:26

split final. I knew

10:28

we'd get caught. I was resigned

10:30

to it, and maybe for

10:32

this reason I stopped moping and began to enjoy

10:34

myself. Why not? This was one

10:36

for the books, like being in a speedboat, only better.

10:39

You can't go downhill in a boat. And

10:41

it was all ours, and

10:44

it kept coming, the laden trees,

10:46

the unbroken surface of snow, the

10:48

sudden white vistas. Here

10:51

and there I saw hints of the road,

10:53

ditches, fences, stakes, but not so many that

10:55

I could have found my way. But

10:58

then I didn't have to. My

11:01

father, in his 48th

11:03

year, rumpled, kind, bankrupt

11:05

of honor, flushed with

11:07

certainty, he was

11:10

a great driver. All

11:13

persuasion, no coercion. Such

11:16

subtlety at the wheel, such tactful pedal

11:18

work, I actually trusted him, and the

11:20

best was yet to come. Such

11:23

backs and hairpins impossible

11:25

to describe, except maybe to

11:27

say this. If

11:29

you haven't driven fresh powder, you

11:33

haven't driven. I

11:41

think a shepherd performed Tobias Wolf's

11:43

Powder. What

11:45

I love about this story is its economy, how

11:48

deftly Wolf sets up the narrator

11:50

and his parents, especially the father,

11:52

who is, quote, bankrupt of honor

11:54

and flush with certainty. Such

11:57

a winning, losing combination. Finish

12:01

Peace in our program of holidays Their

12:03

gifts of the Jewish majesty. Is

12:05

about Hanukkah. But. As many Jewish

12:08

people can tell you, it can be difficult

12:10

to sidestep. Christmas during the month of

12:12

December. The. Stories Officer Is

12:14

A Leg, The Good Men whose

12:16

novels include The Cookbook Collector and

12:19

The Chalk Artist. Did.

12:21

Fiddle plays on the same as Oh Henry

12:23

Christmas Story, Gift of the Match I. As.

12:25

Good mean tweets the last d

12:28

Selflessness and display. In the original. Or

12:31

performers Michael Cerveris and Dana

12:33

I the most of worms

12:35

and familiarity of a long

12:37

way off a movie this

12:39

is alleges Edmunds Just of

12:41

the Jewish nation. Gifts.

12:46

Of the Jewish match, I. With.

12:48

Apologies to owe him. A

12:53

Team dollars and Seventy cents.

12:56

That was all. Bill. Picked up

12:58

the pearl study earrings in their blue

13:00

velvet box. Or the

13:02

real pearls He asked the sidewalk

13:04

vendor at the park streak say

13:06

since everything's real, The salesmen assured

13:08

him. real pearls. Real gold. You

13:11

need a watch. These are real

13:13

rolexes. Date: Just lady Date: Just

13:15

gold. Platinum titanium. I should get

13:17

home. Bill said I'm late already

13:19

That evening was the first night

13:22

of Hanukkah. He

13:24

couldn't help feeling pleased with himself as

13:26

he ran down the stairs to the

13:28

trains. The earrings. We're not only a

13:30

bargain, but elegant. A. classic gift

13:33

for perry and she hadn't asked for

13:35

anything except that he get his hair

13:37

and his beard trimmed bill still war

13:39

is here in a ponytail he was

13:42

pushing sixty and his beard and long

13:44

hair lent him a scholarly appearance he

13:46

looked a bit like an early american

13:49

or perhaps a grizzled sailor on surely

13:51

of from old ironsides in fact he

13:53

was a scholar and a bit of

13:56

a seaman as well he was a

13:58

specialist in sleep the so at MIT,

14:00

and he had a small sailboat of

14:03

his own named Peregrine after his graceful,

14:06

sensible, patient wife.

14:09

This wife of his had just got home.

14:12

She stamped the slosh of her offer boots

14:14

in the vestibule of the

14:16

Cambridge triple-decker where she and Bill

14:18

lived. Perry and Bill were

14:21

relative newlyweds, married for just two years,

14:23

but they'd lived together in the apartment

14:25

for 16.

14:28

Their names had faded next to the ancient

14:30

buzzer downstairs, and the label on their mailbox

14:33

was covered with peeling yellow

14:35

tape. Years ago, Bill

14:37

had bought their third floor apartment for $44,000,

14:39

an almost unimaginable sum

14:43

in his mind. He had walked

14:45

in, he'd told Perry, and fallen instantly in love with

14:47

the dark Victorian woodwork,

14:50

the comforting decrepitude of the apartment,

14:52

the worn linoleum floor in

14:55

the kitchen, the giant elm out front,

14:58

the seedy neighborhood. Now

15:00

the elm had passed away, or

15:02

more accurately, been chopped and hacked to

15:05

pieces, a victim of Dutch elm disease.

15:08

The neighborhood was full of families

15:10

and architects and journalists and shrinks,

15:12

and Bill was odd and almost

15:14

penitent to think that the apartment

15:16

was now worth ten times what

15:18

he had paid for it. He

15:21

hated to think he owned something so

15:23

valuable. He was funny

15:25

that way. He wore a

15:27

ragged down parka, the sleeves patched up

15:29

with silver duct tape. Perry

15:32

had resigned herself to the fact

15:34

years ago that with the notable

15:36

exceptions of his apartment and his

15:38

boat, Bill's only

15:40

voluntary purchases were used

15:42

books. She took

15:44

the menorah off

15:46

one of Bill's sagging bookcases and gave it

15:49

a good dusting before she set it on

15:51

the table by the front window. Then

15:54

she picked out candles, yellow and

15:56

blue from the cardboard Hanukkah candle

15:58

box. The candles

16:00

were small as crayons, and

16:03

she knew if she lit them now, they'd

16:05

melt away to nothing long before Bill got

16:07

home, so she stretched out on

16:09

the couch and waited. Perry

16:12

had converted to Judaism three years

16:14

before. Formerly

16:16

she'd been a non-practicing

16:18

Episcopalian, a doctoral

16:21

candidate in European history, and

16:23

a dance therapist. Now

16:25

she taught the art of the memoir at

16:28

the Cambridge Centre for Adult Education.

16:32

She loved the Jewish religion, the

16:35

history, the high holidays, the

16:37

fasting for Yom Kippur, while

16:40

autumn leaves fell down

16:44

the idea of a season of

16:47

retrospection, introspection.

16:51

That's overseen a brilliant

16:53

holiday to her, part Thanksgiving

16:56

feast, part graduate seminar. However,

16:59

Hanukkah always left her feeling

17:01

a little empty. She

17:03

knew it was only a minor

17:05

Jewish holiday. Still, she wished there

17:08

was more to Hanukkah, more feasting,

17:10

more ceremonies, more falterall. The

17:13

neighbours were bustling, stringing Christmas

17:15

lights from their front porches,

17:17

adorning their front doors with

17:19

wreaths. At night, when she

17:21

drove through Somerville, the houses

17:23

blazed with illuminated reindeer and

17:26

nativity scenes. The

17:28

three wise men, giant, plastic,

17:30

magi, arrayed themselves in

17:33

robes and crowns and turbans

17:35

before the plastic baby Jesus

17:38

to do homage and

17:40

deliver their caskets of gold, frankincense

17:42

and myrrh. Her

17:45

four crushes were not Perry's style.

17:47

Still, she missed caroling. Giving

17:51

up Christian theology had not been

17:53

hard for her, but she did

17:55

love the music, and

17:57

she missed decorating a tree. This

18:00

above all, she missed the

18:03

Christmas tree, the magic, sparkling

18:05

spruce rising to the ceiling,

18:07

spreading its branches and sprinkling

18:10

all the gifts below with

18:12

pine needles. She couldn't

18:14

help it. She missed that

18:17

symbol of her childhood. The

18:20

year before, she'd actually bought some blue and

18:22

silver tinsel for the mantelpiece, and

18:25

a shiny banner cut out in

18:27

the shape of multicolored dreidels. You

18:30

can't be serious, Bill said. And

18:33

she assured him she was not,

18:35

and stuffed the tinsel back into

18:37

the bag. She realized Bill enjoyed

18:39

understated holidays. Look

18:41

at it this way, Bill always said. The

18:44

great thing about Hanukkah is you don't have

18:46

to pretend to be merry. He

18:49

surprised her then with

18:51

his jubilance as he stepped in the

18:54

door. Happy Hanukkah, he

18:56

cried out. She thought

18:58

he must be joshing her with exaggerated cheer.

19:01

Happy Hanukkah to you, she said. I got

19:04

you something, he told her. Oh,

19:06

your haircut, much better, she

19:08

said, examining him. No, I got

19:11

you an actual gift, he told her.

19:13

Really? Yeah, do you want to see

19:15

it? Hold on. I got you something too,

19:17

she said. And she went to

19:19

the coat closet and took out a

19:21

new down parka exactly like his old

19:24

ripped one. See, she said,

19:26

it's the same size, the same color.

19:28

I had to back order it. My

19:30

old one is perfectly good, Bill said. But she kissed

19:33

him. She kissed him and explained, I'm not

19:35

allowing you out of the house any longer

19:37

with duct tape on your sleeves. It's

19:40

reflective, he pointed out the tape. The

19:43

tape is actually safer at night. I

19:46

don't care, she said. All

19:48

right, all right. Thank you.

19:51

Can I give you mine? He fished in his pocket

19:53

for a moment. Then he held out

19:56

a real jewelry box, velvet

19:58

covered in midnight blue. She

20:01

opened the box and

20:03

found nothing tacky, nothing

20:05

jokey, but

20:08

a simple pair of earrings she

20:11

might actually wear. They're

20:14

real, he said. I see

20:17

that, she told him, amazed. She

20:21

and Bill hadn't bothered with an

20:23

engagement ring or even wedding bands.

20:26

He had never given her jewelry before.

20:28

Put them on, he

20:30

urged her with childish delight. See,

20:33

they'll go with everything. And

20:35

she had not realized until that moment

20:38

how good it felt to receive

20:40

a gift from him, how

20:43

much brighter the minor holiday

20:45

of Hanukkah became. She

20:47

was nearly blissful until

20:49

she took possession of

20:51

Bill's disreputable old coat so

20:54

that she could burn it.

20:56

Wait, at least let me empty out my pockets, you

20:59

protected. I'll do it, she said,

21:01

and took out his gloves

21:03

along with five more velvet

21:05

covered jewelry boxes. Bill,

21:07

she said, what is this?

21:11

Nothing, he told her, just give me those. But

21:13

it was too late. She opened

21:15

one box and then the next, five

21:18

handsome boxes containing five

21:21

pairs of pearl stud

21:23

earrings identical to the pair

21:25

he'd just given her. What

21:28

are these for, Bill? He looked

21:31

at her uncertain, sheepish.

21:35

For you, he said. Oh, these

21:37

earrings are for me. You

21:40

got me six pairs of earrings?

21:43

How many years do you think I have?

21:46

Well, I wasn't going to give them to you

21:48

all at once, he said. She

21:51

stared at him in amazement. You

21:54

were going to hold them in reserve,

21:57

huh? Well, I,

21:59

I... I figured they would

22:01

be nice for anniversaries and

22:03

birthdays and they

22:06

were a terrific deal. Billy,

22:09

she'd know

22:11

whether to laugh or to cry. That

22:14

is not how you give presents. You

22:18

never buy six pairs of

22:20

anything unless it sucks, alright?

22:24

And you never, ever say they

22:26

were a terrific deal. I'm

22:29

sorry, he said, throwing up his hands.

22:32

My parents were Trotskyites, you know that.

22:35

You can't use that excuse every single

22:37

time. I'm telling you,

22:40

they were communists, he said. We didn't

22:42

give gifts in our family. We hated

22:44

the whole idea of gifts, not to

22:46

mention Jewish holidays. We

22:48

were supposed to feel guilty we had food

22:50

on the table and shirts on our backs.

22:52

I wasn't brought up with all this, he

22:55

pointed to the menorah. I wasn't either,

22:57

but at least I tried, she reproached

23:00

him. Well, I

23:02

just need a little more practice, he said,

23:04

looking at the open jewelry boxes. I

23:07

suppose I could find the guy and try to bring them

23:09

back. Perry decided

23:11

to laugh. They

23:13

lit the candles and snuggled on

23:16

the couch and Bill gave Perry a

23:18

foot massage and they debated going out

23:20

to dinner at the vegan restaurant in

23:22

Porter Square. The two of

23:24

them were, strictly speaking, a little

23:28

self-absorbed. They

23:30

were each other's children. But

23:33

Bill and Perry were wise in their way

23:35

as well. There was empathy

23:38

and humor in their devotion. They

23:41

gave of themselves indeed. They

23:43

tried to transform themselves for each other

23:46

and these were great gifts. These

23:49

were treasures worthy of Jewish

23:52

Magi. That

24:06

was Allegra Goodman's gift of the

24:08

Jewish Magi, read by Dana Ivey

24:10

and Michael Cerveras at Kane

24:12

University. I'm David Sedaris.

24:15

When we return, Santa's elves try

24:17

home invasion. You're

24:20

listening to Selected Shorts, recorded

24:22

live in performance at Symphony Space in

24:24

New York City and at other venues

24:27

nationwide. Let

24:30

go lovers know, every day brings new

24:32

adventures, like discovering a delicious taco spot

24:34

at your city that only the true

24:36

locals know about. Where

24:38

you run as a friend who has a spare ticket to

24:41

see one of your favorite bands. Celebrate

24:44

another day's done right. Let's

24:48

see if they go. Live life, anchor shop.

24:51

Discover responsibly. Pacifico Planet B is imported by

24:53

Crown & Port, Chicago, Illinois. Time

24:57

for a quick break to talk about McDonald's.

24:59

Know how we make our sausage McMuffin with

25:01

egg? It starts with a flesh cracked egg

25:03

cooked to perfection. Then we add

25:06

a savory grilled sausage patty, American cheese

25:08

and a freshly toasted English muffin. Know

25:11

what makes our sausage McMuffin with egg

25:13

even better? When you add a caramel

25:15

mocha or refreshing caramel mocha iced coffee

25:17

to it. So make your morning better

25:19

by starting with breakfast at McDonald's. Add

25:21

participating McDonald's. Welcome

25:42

back to Selected Shorts. I'm David

25:44

Sedaris. For

25:46

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25:49

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you never miss a story, subscribe to

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spin-off podcast, Selected Shorts, too hot

26:13

for radio. All

26:15

you need to do is search for both shows

26:17

on iTunes and hit subscribe. I

26:22

first listened to Christmas in New York

26:24

without knowing who wrote it and was

26:26

surprised to learn it was by Jeanette

26:28

Winterson, who I tend to associate with

26:30

the English countryside rather than Manhattan. New

26:33

York is a full-fledged character in this

26:35

story and it's so convincingly rendered, I

26:37

assumed that the author was a native.

26:40

That's Jeanette Winterson, a writer

26:42

who can make me believe anything, and

26:45

was so taken with this particular holiday that

26:47

she wrote an entire book of stories on

26:49

the subject. We featured her

26:51

luminous Spirit of Christmas on an

26:53

earlier show. This next

26:55

story is about how a holiday miracle

26:58

might surprise you, in part

27:00

because this miracle may also be a

27:02

felony. Jeanette Winterson's

27:04

Christmas in New York was read by

27:06

the intrepid Richard Mazer. The

27:22

week before Christmas, me and the guys at work

27:24

like to go out for a cocktail and a

27:26

few plates. There's a place we

27:29

know on 12th Street called Wallflower,

27:31

where the ceilings made of tin and

27:33

the banquettes are made of orange stuff.

27:36

It serves French food and American

27:38

cocktails. Tonight we

27:40

went out, we're talking about Christmas

27:42

past. Our childhoods

27:44

mostly went, according to memory,

27:47

our affidavit against history. Christmas

27:49

wasn't commercialized, so although no

27:51

one went shopping, there were

27:53

always presents under the tree. Kids

27:56

went sledding and came home to play board

27:58

games in front of the fire. everyone

28:00

had an old dog and a grandma who

28:02

played piano. We all wore

28:05

hand knitted sweaters. Everybody

28:07

built a snowman with a carrot for

28:09

his nose and a scarf around his

28:11

neck and sang Winter Wonderland. And

28:13

on Christmas Eve, you did your

28:16

damn best to stay awake and see the

28:18

fella in red in his sleigh, and you

28:20

never did see him, but he came anyway

28:22

and drank the whiskey on the kitchen counter.

28:25

Santa was an alcoholic. Yeah,

28:28

but he spends the rest of his

28:31

year in rehab. You

28:33

want another bourbon, martini, twinkle?

28:36

Come on, guys. This one's on me. I

28:39

got up to go to the bathroom. I

28:41

sat down again, seeing double. Sam,

28:44

are you okay? It

28:47

was Lucille squeezing in next to me in

28:49

her little gray dress with the white collar.

28:52

She works in the drawing office. I work

28:54

in design. I tell her I'm fine.

28:58

You didn't say anything when

29:00

we were all talking about Christmas. Don't you

29:02

like Christmas? Fact

29:04

is, I don't like Christmas. I

29:06

don't know what it's for these days except for running up

29:09

bills you can't pay and fighting with

29:11

your relatives. I

29:13

live alone, so I have an easy time of it. I

29:16

live alone. That's good. I'm

29:20

going home for Christmas, said Lucille.

29:22

What about you? I'm

29:25

staying home, I replied. On

29:28

your own? Yeah,

29:30

I need me some me time, you know.

29:33

Lucille nodded like she was shaking her head. Then

29:35

she said, so tell

29:38

me a story about your

29:40

Christmas past, just one.

29:43

Choose any of them you like. They were all

29:45

the same. We didn't celebrate Christmas. Is

29:48

your family Jewish? No,

29:51

just unpleasant. I

29:55

didn't say anymore right then because the others

29:57

had started singing their version of fairy tale

29:59

of Christmas. of New York, which was even

30:01

worse than the pugs. I mean,

30:03

what is this bono me? Is

30:05

it because we're in a bogus French bar

30:08

that we have to have bogus French feelings

30:10

and kiss each other like it's true? It's

30:12

not true, but there they are, my colleagues,

30:14

clinking glasses and feeding each other prawns. Well,

30:17

Lucia leaned forward and joined in, and

30:20

I guess that that was the end

30:22

of the Yule-Tide interrogation. I took a

30:24

deep breath, made it to the restroom

30:26

one more time, and decided to cut

30:28

away right there and walk home. I

30:31

took my coat from the rail, looked back at

30:33

the group, enjoyed yourselves. Outside

30:37

on the sidewalk, there were people

30:39

laughing, arm in arm, holding their

30:41

faces up to the falling snow.

30:43

What's the big deal? Snow's

30:45

just rain that's been left out in the

30:47

cold. I

30:50

love it when it snows, said Lucia,

30:52

suddenly standing next to me in a

30:55

Russian fur hat and a Dr. Zhivago

30:57

great coat. Lucia's

31:00

okay, but strange. She brings

31:02

flowers to the office. She

31:05

said, do you want to walk for a

31:07

while? So we set off

31:09

through the white light and the gentle screen

31:11

of quiet snow. The streets

31:13

were noisy, but it didn't seem so.

31:17

The snow quieted the city and lowered the

31:19

pulse rate of the place, and the

31:22

late air smelled clean. This

31:25

broken world, I said. What?

31:28

She said. Heart crane.

31:32

Oh. So we walked

31:34

past the bars and the eateries in the

31:36

small shops open late and the guy selling

31:38

bags under a tarpaulin and the

31:41

bundle of rags sitting up in the

31:43

doorway with a sign that said, Merry

31:45

Christmas, folks. The vent

31:47

next to him shot out steam and

31:49

the chemical crack of dry cleaning. Lucille

31:52

gave him five bucks. So

31:55

what was your Christmas past? Nothing,

31:59

not I told you. I told you, no decorations,

32:01

no tree, no gifts, no family meal.

32:04

My father drove trucks across to

32:06

Canada. He always chose the

32:08

shift over Christmas. Paid triple,

32:11

he said, though, what it paid triple for

32:13

and what he spent it on, I don't

32:15

know. Are you

32:17

saying you never had a Christmas gift? No,

32:20

I'm a grown man. I've had

32:22

girlfriends, I've had friends. They've

32:25

given me gifts, of course, but Christmas

32:27

itself means nothing to me. There

32:30

was a small dog on a leash jumping and

32:32

snapping at the snow like he could catch it.

32:36

Christmas does mean something to you,

32:38

said Lucille. Christmas

32:40

means sadness. Oh,

32:43

no, I said to myself, she's no

32:45

wage, or

32:48

she sees a shrink five times a week. Give

32:50

me a break. So

32:52

we reached the corner by the

32:54

deli. It's plastic frontage protecting a

32:57

row of Christmas trees and pots.

32:59

I smelled cold pine and detergent.

33:03

Well, this is where I turn off, I said.

33:06

Your beard, it's white, she

33:08

said, seasonal. I

33:12

brushed the snow off my chin, pushed my

33:14

hands into my coat pocket, and set off

33:16

down the block. About halfway, I turned around.

33:19

I don't know why. Lucille

33:22

had gone. Of course she

33:24

turned. Girls don't stand on street

33:26

corners in the snow. I

33:29

went up the stairs to my apartment. It's

33:31

a one bedroom in a building with a

33:33

doorman who was dead, but kept for show.

33:38

And because it's cheaper than getting someone who

33:41

is alive, I guess, he

33:44

sits in his booth with the TV on.

33:46

I've lived there two years. I've

33:48

seen the back of his head, but I've never seen him move.

33:52

I unlocked my door, three locks

33:54

and a rectangular blank plate of

33:56

unforgiving steel. I turned on the

33:58

light. My apartment is

34:01

like my clothes. I don't care, but you

34:03

have to wear something. I

34:06

took this place furnished. I

34:08

have never brought in anything of my

34:10

own. Right in front of

34:13

me, in the middle of the

34:15

room, like it belonged there, a

34:17

Christmas tree. I

34:19

ran back downstairs and thumped on the booth

34:21

where the doorman is supposed to be alive

34:23

and well and willing to help residents of

34:25

the building. No response.

34:27

I swear he turned up the sound on

34:30

the TV. Well, then

34:32

I'll have to call the police. I'd like to

34:34

report an incident. What kind

34:36

of incident? There's a Christmas

34:38

tree in my apartment. Fella,

34:41

you've been drinking? No, yes,

34:43

but not a lot. I mean, somebody

34:46

has broken into my apartment and left

34:48

the Christmas tree. Any

34:50

material damage? Anything missing? No.

34:53

Buddy, call your pals. Say thank you and

34:56

say good night. Happy holidays and good good

34:58

night. The line went dead.

35:01

I phoned downstairs to the dead doorman. He

35:03

didn't pick up. The

35:06

following day was my last day at work.

35:08

I got up early, which was easy as

35:10

I hadn't slept much. The

35:13

Christmas tree was still there. I

35:15

had to walk around it to reach the door. As

35:19

I looked back, as I was closing the

35:21

door, I was sure the

35:23

tree was smiling. At

35:25

the office, I said to Lucille, do you

35:28

think trees can smile? She

35:30

smiled in return. An

35:32

open, kind smile I'd never noticed

35:35

before. That's not

35:37

like you, Sam. That's almost

35:39

romantic. I'm a

35:41

little distracted, I said. It

35:44

was a day of winter sun that

35:47

sparkled the city into diamonds and pearls.

35:49

Electric blue sky lit like a

35:52

neon. The windows of the big

35:54

department stores like magic mirrors into

35:56

another world. I

35:59

started to walk. I walked towards Rockefeller Center.

36:01

I don't know why. The

36:03

crowds are crazy and everyone has six bags

36:06

and no one can get a cab. Every

36:09

year the city brings in a 70

36:11

foot Christmas tree and strings it with

36:14

five miles of lights and tops it

36:16

with a giant Swarovski crystal star. I

36:19

went forward, I don't know why. Standing

36:22

under the tree, the

36:25

scale of it makes a grown man feel like

36:27

a tiny little child again. Sam,

36:31

Sam, you come in now. I

36:34

went to see the tree, mama, I wanna see it.

36:36

They're bringing the tree from the forest. You

36:40

heard what I said, get inside now or no

36:42

supper. Into the dark

36:44

house, into bed and nothing. Sam,

36:48

it was Lucille. What

36:50

are you doing here? Me,

36:53

oh, I had an errand

36:55

midtown. Lucille was

36:57

still smiling. Is she

36:59

always smiling? And if so, why? She

37:02

said, I love coming to look

37:04

at the tree. It makes me happy. It

37:07

does. How

37:09

does a tree make you happy? Because

37:12

it's free and nothing's

37:14

free in New York and

37:17

it's beautiful and look how

37:19

relaxed people are with their

37:21

children and that old

37:23

lady over there, like she's dreaming

37:25

something good. She's

37:27

probably gonna be all alone at Christmas, I said.

37:31

Are you, said Lucille? No,

37:34

no, of course not. Listen, I have,

37:37

well, have a good one, Lucille. I have

37:39

to, I was just heading into

37:41

Busan for a hot chocolate,

37:43

wanna come? And

37:45

so we sat and Lucille was

37:47

still smiling and I was still not

37:50

and she was

37:52

chatting about the holidays and suddenly

37:54

I said, last night in my

37:56

apartment, there was a Christmas tree,

37:58

it just appeared. Are

38:01

you sure? I called

38:03

the police. You

38:05

called the police because there's a Christmas

38:07

tree in your apartment? A

38:10

guy in a plaid fleece squeezed

38:12

by carrying two gingerbread mochas. He

38:14

leaned down and said to Lucille,

38:16

audible for my benefit, get

38:19

yourself a better date, sweetheart.

38:22

Lucille laughed, but I

38:24

didn't see what was so funny. I called it

38:26

as back, she's not my date. The

38:29

guy in the plaid turned around, so

38:32

you're stupid. I get it. Happy

38:34

holiday. Somebody

38:37

broke into my apartment, asshole.

38:44

But the guy in the plaid had gone and

38:46

I was on my feet, embarrassed and alone. I

38:50

wasn't alone, Lucille was still there. Did

38:53

you like it? Oh yeah,

38:55

they're chocolates, great, yeah thanks. The

38:58

tree, did you like the tree? I

39:01

was walking back home alone thinking about what

39:03

she had said. Do

39:05

I like it that for the first time in

39:07

my whole life of 32 years I have a

39:10

Christmas tree in my home? I

39:12

rounded the corner, the Afghans who

39:14

were on the dally were standing outside,

39:16

they said, did you deliver a tree

39:18

to my apartment last night? They

39:21

shook their heads and offered me some chestnuts from

39:23

the hot pan. Am

39:25

I going home for the holidays? No, no. Oh,

39:29

you would like to go home, huh? One

39:32

of them took out his wallet and showed me

39:34

a crumpled printed picture of a house where his

39:36

parents lived. A single story

39:38

building made of concrete set against a

39:40

steep mountain topped with snow. He

39:43

didn't say anything, just held the picture

39:45

like it was a light or a

39:47

mirror or an answer to a

39:49

question. Then a woman

39:51

came in wanting oranges. I

39:54

went inside, bought some cooked

39:56

chicken with rice and cashews and apricots

39:58

and headed around the corner. towards my

40:00

building. My apartment is on the fourth

40:02

floor with the living room window

40:05

onto the street. There's

40:07

a light in my window coming

40:10

from inside somewhere like

40:12

a low lamp. I don't own

40:14

a low lamp. I'm a

40:17

center light guy. I

40:19

rushed into the building. The dead doorman

40:21

was in his booth watching TV. I

40:24

stood outside waving my hands to attract

40:26

his attention, but all I heard was

40:28

the TV set turned up louder. He's

40:30

going to explode that set. There's no

40:32

elevator in my building, so I climbed

40:34

up the stairs two at a time

40:36

spilling some of the juice out of

40:38

the chicken container. I open the door.

40:40

All three locks are tumbled. No sign

40:42

of forced entry. Inside I reached for

40:44

the light switch, but there's no need.

40:46

The Christmas tree is

40:49

lit up. Outside

40:52

on the stairs I can hear someone

40:55

breathing heavily. I hang back

40:57

on the doorway, tense, expecting something to

40:59

happen. Instead, Mrs. Nabloski

41:01

from the fifth floor comes

41:03

heaving by carrying or being

41:06

carried by a flotilla of

41:08

gaudy bags. I can barely

41:10

see her. Let me help you,

41:12

I say, because I have to say that. Mrs.

41:16

Nabloski pauses panting outside my

41:18

apartment. She sees the serenely

41:20

glowing Christmas tree through the

41:23

door in size. It's

41:26

so nice, Sam. My

41:29

gnome is plastic. Would

41:32

you like this one? You can have it if you

41:34

want it. I can carry it upstairs for you. Such

41:37

a good boy, a kind

41:39

boy. No, thank you. I'm

41:42

going to my daughter's tomorrow

41:44

in Philadelphia. You

41:46

must be having Christmas here to

41:48

have that fine tree. And

41:52

then she's on her way up the

41:54

next flight of stairs, maybe behind carrying

41:56

the bags, hearing about Christmas and Soviet

41:58

Russia and her grandmother's spare. vodka

42:00

that made anyone who drank it

42:03

clairvoyant. When

42:05

I was three, Grandmama says

42:08

to me, Agata, you will

42:10

live in America, and

42:12

here I am. There's

42:14

no arguing with that. She

42:16

opens the apartment and I dump her bags in

42:19

the hall. Her place is bigger

42:21

than mine. I've never

42:23

seen inside before. Everything

42:25

is brown. Chocolate

42:28

carpets, caramel furniture, velvet curtains,

42:30

the color of coffee. There's

42:33

a mahogany-standard lamp with a seaweed-brown

42:35

fringe shade and an ancient TV

42:37

and a veneer cabinet on legs.

42:41

The distinct low rumble from the

42:43

fridge makes the apartment sound like

42:45

it's digesting. It's

42:48

like she's living inside a big

42:51

brown bear. Mrs.

42:53

Nabloski fetches me a bottle from a cupboard. What

42:56

does she say, pressing it into my hand? Clairvoyant.

43:01

My babushka's recipe. My

43:04

brother in Brooklyn makes it from

43:06

potatoes. A potato is clairvoyant. Not

43:09

very secret ingredient. Family

43:13

secret. Take it. You're a

43:15

good boy. I

43:17

protest, hesitate, hesitate,

43:20

protest. Then I suddenly think of something.

43:23

Mrs. Nabloski, the doorman

43:25

downstairs, is he alive, do you

43:28

think? I think

43:30

so, she says. Why? I've

43:33

lived here two years now. He's never spoken to

43:35

me. Well, he

43:38

spoke to me about 20 years

43:40

ago. I had gas leak. Why

43:43

do you want him to speak to you? You

43:45

have gas leak? He's

43:49

the doorman. She

43:52

shrugged and turned on the TV. I

43:55

thanked her for the vodka and went downstairs.

43:58

Back in my apartment, there's the TV. tree,

44:00

the glowing tree. Whoever

44:03

did this had good taste in fairy lights, but

44:05

that is not the point. I

44:08

ate the chicken and rice and cashews, and

44:10

I left the apricots. I

44:12

could have turned off the tree lights. Instead,

44:15

I sat staring at them. By

44:18

the time I'd had four of

44:20

Mrs. Nabloski's clavonian vodkas, I almost

44:23

liked the tree. I

44:26

could see myself buying something similar

44:28

next Christmas. I fell

44:30

asleep on the couch. I

44:33

bought this for you, Mom. It's a

44:35

Christmas present. We

44:37

don't celebrate Christmas, Sam. Why

44:40

not? We never have,

44:42

and we never will. I

44:45

saved my pocket money. My

44:48

mother unwrapped the present. It was a

44:50

butter dish made of aluminum in

44:53

the shape of a clamshell. It's

44:55

silver, I think, I said. Thank

44:57

you, Sam. Do you like it?

45:01

Cold, lighted day. The garbage truck woke

45:03

me. I went to the window,

45:05

still dark on the block, more

45:07

snow in the night like a secret we'd

45:10

keep. The truck pulled

45:12

away, and the dirty tire tracks were

45:14

soon filled with white feathers from the

45:16

snow goose in the snow

45:19

goose. What's the

45:21

matter with me? Get

45:23

up and go out. Get what you need. It's

45:25

Christmas Eve. I

45:27

went down to Russ and Daughters, bought lots

45:29

of cream cheese and pastrami. They

45:32

were here to have free cookies. I took some,

45:35

ran the corner as they replaced, and I thought

45:37

maybe some row on toast and

45:39

a cocktail would be the right thing at

45:41

9 a.m. on Christmas Eve. I

45:44

swung in, sat at the counter, and picked up the

45:46

menu that serves as a map. Hello,

45:50

said Lucille. She

45:53

was drinking coffee at a table. Care

45:56

to join me? Why not,

45:58

I thought. Hell, the same woman. and is

46:00

everywhere I go and I have a light-up Christmas

46:02

tree and a bottle of clairvoyant vodka in my

46:05

apartment. I explain

46:07

this to her. Not the part about her, but

46:09

the other parts. She nodded

46:11

sympathetically. Shall

46:13

we have an ice cream? At

46:15

9.30 in the morning? That's

46:18

somehow worse than a martini at 9 o'clock

46:20

in the morning? She

46:23

got a point. We ate the

46:25

ice cream, ginger for me, strawberry for her.

46:27

Are you at your friend's place tomorrow or

46:30

will they come to you? Well,

46:33

we'll decide that later on, I said, panicking.

46:36

I mean, I do have friends, but not

46:39

at Christmas, but I'm not telling her that

46:41

part either. So

46:43

do you want to come shopping a few last-minute

46:45

gifts? I shook my head.

46:47

I don't do gifts. It's not a tradition

46:49

of mine. Didn't you ever

46:52

make a list for Santa Claus? He's

46:54

make-believe, I said. Wasn't

46:56

there ever anything you

46:58

wanted so badly you wrote to Santa

47:01

about it? Are you kidding

47:03

me? She wasn't. Well,

47:06

I always hoped I'd

47:08

get a toboggan, a real wooden

47:10

one with a leather rain

47:12

and steel runners. You could

47:14

get one now. I shook

47:16

my head. It was a long time ago. The

47:19

thing about time, said Lucille, is

47:21

that it's always there. You

47:25

didn't do it then, so do it now. It's

47:28

too late. To be a

47:30

child prodigy, yes, it's too late. Tohono

47:33

Toboggan? No,

47:35

it's not too late. I

47:38

smiled at her, smiling at me. I

47:41

stood up and reached for my coat. Happy

47:43

holidays, Lucille. See you at

47:45

the office in the new year. She

47:48

nodded and looked down at the menu. I

47:51

hesitated. I'm

47:53

a jerk. But because

47:55

I am a jerk, I didn't say what I

47:57

wished I could say. And

48:00

I left. Heavier

48:03

snow now in fewer cars, time to

48:05

go home. I read

48:07

somewhere that more than half the people in Manhattan

48:09

live alone. At

48:12

the deli on my corner, Farouk was

48:14

roasting some more of chestnuts. He

48:17

gave me a scoop, rattling the tin shovel

48:19

against the coals. We

48:21

were closing at four, having a party.

48:23

Want to come? Sure,

48:26

what can I bring? You bring

48:28

nothing. You're my guest. I

48:32

remembered that Lucille had picked up the

48:34

tab twice now. For coffee

48:36

and for breakfast. I

48:38

didn't even think to pay for my own breakfast

48:40

this morning. I should call her.

48:44

I can't call her. I don't have her cell. I

48:47

went into my building. A

48:49

great big silver bell with a red bow

48:51

had appeared outside the booth of the dead

48:53

doorman. I knocked

48:55

loudly on the glass, but all I could

48:57

see was the back of his head and

49:00

Angela Lansbury running around in murder, she wrote.

49:04

Am I going to be killed by

49:06

the mysterious Christmas tree fairy? I

49:10

deserve it. As I tumbled

49:12

the locks on my apartment, I was both

49:14

afraid and excited. What

49:16

now? Answer, nothing.

49:21

Disappointment is the default position of my

49:23

life. There was the tree. There were

49:26

the lights, but nothing new. So

49:29

I caught up on my work emails. They

49:32

all came back with an out-of-office auto

49:34

reply. There's no work

49:36

ethic in America. It's barely 11 a.m.

49:38

on Christmas Eve. By

49:41

noon, I was showered and shaved and changed with

49:43

nothing left to do. I

49:46

thought I'd take a walk. Get

49:48

something for Farouk, anyway. He

49:50

liked baseball caps. I

49:52

was passing McNally's bookstore. There was a copy

49:54

of a heart crane in the window. I

49:57

stood looking at it, and I heard myself say, saying

50:00

out loud, I

50:03

could never remember that seething

50:05

steady leveling of the marshes

50:08

till age had brought me to the sea.

50:12

Crane wrote that when he was 26. He was dead at 32.

50:14

My face

50:17

was wet with rain

50:19

or snow. I

50:21

went into the store and bought the book. The

50:25

heart crane isn't for Farooq, but the

50:27

leopard skin baseball cap is. I

50:29

was sitting with him on the rusty treads

50:31

of the fire escape behind the building. It's

50:33

too hot inside now. Every Afghan in New York

50:36

City is at the party. The

50:38

music's live and there's a lot of laughter. Farooq

50:41

must have seen me slip out on the

50:43

fireplace. He followed me with a

50:45

beer, so I pulled out the cap I bought

50:48

him. Does it fit? Try

50:50

it on. There's a

50:52

broken fridge with a glass door propped on

50:54

the gantry of the fire escape. Farooq

50:57

appears at the makeshift mirror of the glass

50:59

using his phone as a light, pulling the

51:01

baseball cap low on his head so that

51:03

the peak is right on his eyes that

51:05

are deep like black holes. I

51:08

never seen a leopard skin baseball cap.

51:12

I guess it's for winter. I

51:14

feel like a mountain cat in the Hindu

51:16

kush. You ever

51:19

been to Afghanistan? Not me.

51:22

Most beautiful place on earth. Here

51:25

I show you some pictures. My

51:27

phone. Goats. Eagles.

51:31

The market where my father

51:33

works. Those sacks are rice.

51:35

He's 70 and he

51:37

can carry them. Very strong. He

51:40

thinks I am a taxi driver. He

51:43

always wanted himself to be a taxi

51:45

driver. Would you

51:47

go home if you could?

51:50

Farooq shakes his head. What

51:53

is home here is home. Home

51:57

is a dream. Home is

51:59

a failure. Fairytale. This

52:02

Afghanistan does not exist, not for

52:04

me. Home is where you

52:06

make it, my friend. What

52:08

do you think if I wear this backwards? He

52:11

rearranges his cap, then he says,

52:14

your girlfriend, nice girl, big

52:17

smile. Where

52:19

is she tonight? She's

52:21

not my girlfriend. Farouk

52:23

looks sorrowful. Girl

52:25

like that? You

52:27

should try harder. It's

52:31

later now, much later, and I'm back in my

52:33

apartment staring at the tree and finishing

52:36

Mrs. Lebowski's clairvoyantvaca.

52:39

I can see the future, and

52:41

it's just like today. What

52:46

kind of a future is that? I

52:49

throw open the window, deep breaths of air. The

52:52

music's still coming from the party. I

52:54

should get some sleep. One night sleeping

52:56

fully dressed on the sofa is enough, but

53:00

there's something I want to do first. On

53:03

the top of the wardrobe, there's a box in

53:05

a box. There are other

53:07

things in the box too, but it's the

53:09

box in the box I want, a cardboard

53:11

box tied with kitchen string. My

53:14

mother gave it to me when I was leaving home

53:16

for college. I smiled, kissed

53:18

her, kept it for the train. I

53:22

opened it, like I'm opening it now. What

53:25

had she given me to remind me of

53:27

home? Inside was

53:29

the aluminum butter dish in the shape of

53:31

a shell. She

53:34

never could receive, never could

53:36

give. I should

53:38

have hurled it at the train window.

53:40

Instead, I kept it like poison I

53:42

had already swallowed. Why?

53:45

My hands were shaking. I went to

53:48

the window, leaned back, and I pitched

53:50

the dish full pelt, passed the air

53:52

conditioning units and satellite dishes, away through

53:54

the night stars, away into

53:56

nothing. I

53:59

didn't hear it for. Then

54:01

I slept. Morning

54:03

came. It does. I

54:07

went yawning into the living room in my

54:09

boxes and t-shirt. There was the

54:11

tree. There were the lights. Under

54:15

the tree was a

54:18

long cardboard box tied

54:20

with a silver ribbon. I

54:23

went back into the bedroom, did the

54:25

whole yawning and stretching routine again, returned

54:28

cautiously to the living room. The

54:30

present, it had to be

54:33

a present didn't it because it was under the Christmas tree,

54:35

was still there. Going into

54:38

my living room was getting to be as unpredictable

54:40

as having a wild animal in the house. What

54:43

was I supposed to do? I made

54:45

coffee, checked my phone, no messages.

54:48

I wasn't drunk. Yes,

54:51

the item under the tree was definitely

54:53

still there. All right. All right. Deep

54:55

breathing. Be calm.

54:57

Get dressed. Jeans, shirt,

54:59

sweater. Now take the box into the

55:01

hallway down the stairs and out onto

55:04

the street and open it. Whatever is

55:06

in there needs to be out of

55:08

there. I grabbed a knife

55:10

from the kitchen to split the cardboard. The

55:13

box was heavy and bulky. In

55:15

the lobby I saw that the blind was down

55:17

on the dead doorman's booth. Up,

55:19

down, so what, dead is dead. Okay.

55:23

Now I'm outside. It's a beautiful

55:25

morning. The sub-zeroes last

55:27

night have crisped the snow into a

55:29

white carpet the length of the block.

55:32

The moon is still in the sky although the

55:34

sun is out. The air is

55:36

as sharp as a knife. My

55:38

knife is not as sharp as the air but

55:40

I ripped through the cardboard pulling it away from

55:42

the object inside. Objects aren't happiness but this one

55:45

is. Inside the box is a deep polished wooden sled

55:47

with red leather rain and blue steel runners but

55:49

this sled has a very strong has

56:00

articulated joints on the footrest so that

56:02

you can steer it. Forgetting

56:04

everything, I sat on it and tried the

56:06

steering. It's great. I

56:10

didn't notice the car pulling up until the

56:12

polished hubcaps of the retro VW flashed the

56:14

sun in my eyes. Do

56:16

you want to go to Riverside Park and try it

56:18

out? It's

56:21

Lucille in a bobble

56:23

hat, the top down on the convertible.

56:26

Did you give me this, Lucille? Where

56:29

didn't we go? Pilgrim Hill in

56:31

Central Park, Hippo on Riverside, Owl's

56:33

Head Park. I was

56:35

sledding through time or maybe there was

56:38

no time because Christmas comes just once

56:40

a year. The sun was

56:42

going down before we were done. I

56:45

said, do you want to come

56:47

back for some lox and cream cheese? It's

56:50

not Christmas dinner, but I have

56:52

black bread and some interesting vodka. No,

56:55

actually I don't. I finished that last night.

56:58

I'm taking you to my place, said Lucille.

57:01

It's small and I share it, but

57:04

the others have gone home for the holidays and

57:07

I have dinner for us, but let's go

57:09

buy your place first. I need to drop

57:11

something off. Haven't you

57:13

dropped enough off already? I mean the

57:15

tree, the lights, they weren't from you,

57:17

right? Lucille

57:19

nodded, such

57:21

soft eyes. I

57:23

love the way she smiles. How

57:26

did she get in? Back

57:29

at the building, I left Lucille in the lobby while

57:31

I took the stairs that are bound, changed

57:34

into dry clothes and packed the locks. I

57:36

hesitated. I threw

57:39

in a spare t-shirt, shorts and my

57:41

electric toothbrush and something

57:43

else, something I knew I had bought for Lucille

57:45

when I bought it. Thank

57:48

you, I said to the tree on my way

57:50

out. In

57:52

the lobby, Lucille was standing with an elderly man

57:54

who had the same kind of bright smile that

57:56

she did. He seemed

57:58

vaguely familiar. When she saw

58:00

me, she said to him, this

58:03

is Sam. Sure,

58:05

I know it's Sam, the vaguely

58:08

familiar guy said. Always want

58:10

something, so I always ignore him. Then

58:15

he kissed Lucille on the top of her

58:17

head and went back towards the booth. I

58:19

recognized the back of his head. See

58:23

you tomorrow, sweetie. The

58:25

booth door closed on the not-so-dead

58:27

doorman. He's

58:29

my grandpa, said Lucille. We

58:33

got into her VW and went to her place, small

58:35

as an envelope. We ate.

58:38

We talked. I nearly kissed

58:40

her, but then I gave her

58:42

the hard crane, and she kissed me.

58:46

She was in charge, I guess. I

58:49

said, I owe you for coffee and

58:51

breakfast. She said, there's

58:54

all of next year. Richard

58:59

Masser performed Jeanette Winterson's

59:02

Christmas in New York. Whatever

59:06

holiday magic you're seeking this year, we hope you find it. I'm

59:09

David Sedaris. Thanks for

59:11

joining me for Selected Shorts. Selected

59:30

Shorts is produced by Jennifer Brennan,

59:32

Jenny Falcon, and Sarah

59:34

Montague. Our team includes

59:36

Matthew Love, Drew Richardson, Mary Shimpkin, Vivienne

59:38

Woodward, and Magdalene Roglesky. The

59:41

readings are recorded by Miles B. Smith. Our

59:44

programs presented at the Getty Center in Los

59:46

Angeles are recorded by Phil Richards. Our

59:49

theme music is David Peterson's

59:51

That's the Deal, performed by the Dear

59:53

David Shimpkin. Our

59:55

theme music is David Peterson's That's the Deal, performed

59:58

by the Dear Dorff Peterson group. Selected

1:00:01

Shorts is supported by the Dungannon

1:00:03

Foundation. This program is also made

1:00:05

possible with public funds from the New York

1:00:07

State Council on the Arts, with the support

1:00:09

of Governor Kathy Hochul and the New York

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State Legislature. Selected Shorts is

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produced and distributed by Symphony Space. The

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New York City is

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a new adventure that

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will celebrate the delicious taco

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spot in your city that only the true locals

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know about. We are

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running some friends who have

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a spare ticket to see one of your favorite bands. Celebrate another day's

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Live life. Anchor Shop. Discover responsibility.

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Participate in the right way. Discover the

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and Point Chicago, Illinois.