0:00

Hey, Keurig coffee drinkers. Did

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you know that the bold, smooth taste of

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Dunkin' Cold Coffee can be brewed in

0:06

your Keurig coffee maker and enjoyed at

0:08

home? Dunkin's Cold K-Cup Pods

0:10

were crafted to be brewed hot and

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enjoyed cold. And of course, they're packed

0:15

with the Dunkin' flavor you crave. Brew

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over ice and sip in seconds. Because

0:20

the home with Dunkin' is where you want to be.

0:24

California friends, we're coming your way.

0:26

Please join us at a live

0:29

performance of Selected Shorts with three

0:31

of our favorite actors, Jane Kazmarek,

0:33

Joshua Molina, and Kirsten Vangsness. We'll

0:36

be at the McCallum Theatre for the Performing

0:38

Arts in the Palm Springs area on Sunday,

0:41

February 4th at 3 p.m. We've

0:44

got a great afternoon of hilarious,

0:46

moving, and captivating short stories about

0:48

old Hollywood. Here's looking at you,

0:50

kid. Go to

0:52

mccallumtheatre.org or selectedshorts.org

0:54

for tickets and information. Have

1:04

you ever had a frenemy? You know,

1:06

the kind of friend who made you a

1:08

friendship bracelet but won't invite you to her

1:10

secret birthday party. And that's when she said

1:12

it. I wish I

1:15

liked you more. Then

1:17

she switched on the radio. I'm

1:20

Meg Wallitzer, and if this sounds

1:23

familiar, stay with me for Selected

1:25

Shorts for fiction about contradictory characters.

1:38

So yes, I'm Meg, and I'm the host

1:40

of Shorts, but I'm also a writer and

1:42

a New Yorker and a mother and a

1:44

wife and a grandmother and a friend and

1:46

an ambidextrous person. And I'm also Jewish and

1:48

an American and a devotee of Scrabble. The

1:51

point is, I'm not just one thing, and

1:54

I don't think that you are either. All

1:56

of us play many different roles in one

1:59

another's lives. and in the world around

2:01

us. And sometimes, frankly, it

2:03

can be hard to keep up with all

2:05

those different roles, not to mention all of

2:07

the feelings that go along with playing all

2:09

these parts. Some days, we

2:11

do what we know to be right,

2:13

like becoming the angelic godmother following through

2:15

on a promise to babysit a godson.

2:18

And other days, we abandon that same

2:20

promise and become that self-involved slouch who

2:22

sits at home and eats a family-sized

2:25

bag of corn chips. Like

2:27

Walt Whitman said, I contain multitudes

2:29

of Doritos. Well, no,

2:32

I guess he didn't exactly say that. On

2:35

today's selected shorts, stories that

2:37

slowly reveal the multifaceted nature

2:39

of their characters. Not

2:41

just the overtly good and bad people

2:43

who populate many hero's journeys, but

2:46

the kind of complex and fascinating people we

2:48

know from our own lives. People

2:51

who crave affection but fear intimacy.

2:53

People who honestly love you, but given

2:56

the right opportunity, just may betray you.

2:59

There are many possibilities of combination platters

3:01

of psychology in a single person.

3:04

It can be unseemly to gawk at someone

3:06

and try to understand all their different parts.

3:09

So sometimes it's better to leave it to a

3:11

professional, by which I mean a fiction

3:14

writer. This is one of their

3:16

specialties. Our first story

3:18

about these sorts of complex characters is

3:20

by the writer, Charlene Bazille. She's

3:22

a Florida born, LA based Haitian

3:24

American writer who is at work

3:27

on her first novel. Her

3:29

story, Tender, about love and competition

3:31

was performed as part of our

3:33

live show, featuring stories from the

3:35

Best American Short Stories collection of

3:37

2023. Author

3:40

Minjin Lee, who served as guest

3:42

editor of Best American 2023, delivered

3:44

a powerful introduction to a night

3:46

of performances that included Bazille's Tender.

3:50

What is Best American Short Stories

3:52

to me? Well, at the

3:54

beginning of my senior year in

3:56

college, I bought a paperback

3:58

copy of the Best American Short Stories. American Short

4:01

Stories 1989 edited by

4:03

the Canadian literary queen

4:05

Margaret Atwood. I

4:11

had read so many, many

4:14

dead writers. So

4:16

many. And

4:19

they were all wonderful and significant. But

4:22

in a way, their work felt lapidary,

4:25

beyond reproach, almost divine.

4:29

Unlike the classics of dead

4:31

writers of my younger reading

4:33

life, the stories in

4:35

this anthology felt different and

4:38

vital because I knew for certain

4:40

that these writers were working at

4:43

this very moment. And

4:46

every story had been published

4:48

only a year prior. Fiction

4:51

writers became alive and current.

4:55

That was Min Jin Lee on stage at

4:57

Symphony Space. Now performing

5:00

Tender is Anna Uzale. She's

5:02

a Broadway regular whose credits include six

5:04

and has appeared in series including City

5:06

on a Hill. Now Uzale

5:09

reads Tender by Sherlene Bazile.

5:21

Tender. My

5:25

best friend doesn't like me much. She

5:27

said so herself. We

5:29

were driving to her house so she could braid my

5:32

hair. I was upset that

5:34

at the hair store she took her

5:36

time trying on wigs she wouldn't buy.

5:38

The braids would take hours. If

5:40

I wasn't home by 10, my mom would wring my

5:42

braids around my neck. In

5:45

the car, the thick heat, the

5:48

harsh green numbers on the dashboard that read 5

5:51

46 p.m. made me so angry I couldn't move.

5:54

I didn't bother taking off my jacket. I

5:57

Kept the bag of hair extensions scrunched between my

5:59

hands. In my seat belt and my chest.

6:01

as if it could shield me from the

6:03

world of my rage. I

6:05

didn't respond when she said, I'll finish

6:08

what I can tonight and do the

6:10

rest tomorrow after school. Easy. After

6:13

fifteen minutes of driving and silence, best

6:16

friend said. Is. Ninety Degrees.

6:18

Take your jacket off. you have

6:20

a death wish. I'm fine I

6:22

said. And that's

6:24

when she said it. I

6:27

wish I like to more. Than

6:30

she switched on the radio. We.

6:33

Became friends back in the day. The.

6:35

Only two black girls and all of

6:38

Li elementary. We were losers. Mostly.

6:41

Because we had immigrant mothers who wore bulging scarves

6:43

around their heads and weren't afraid to hit or

6:45

yell at us in public. They

6:48

sent to school with saucy, smelly chicken

6:51

and rice which ensured we had no

6:53

friends because in our part of Florida

6:55

no one knew how to deal with

6:57

difference except to hate it. Soon.

7:00

After best friend showed up from Kenya

7:02

with for large piggy tales and pink

7:05

brett. We sat next to

7:07

each other every day and pretended we

7:09

spoke the same language. When.

7:11

The kid made fun of us for

7:13

being weird. we cursed at them and

7:16

our respective languages and the teachers wouldn't

7:18

say anything because when they tried, best

7:20

friend called them racist be insults her

7:23

mother told her to use if someone

7:25

did her wrong. Even

7:29

after best friend realize that I

7:31

understood these kids more than her,

7:33

they never ask me any questions.

7:35

They never asked me about living

7:37

among lions and monkeys. So we

7:39

stuck together. Partly out of

7:42

habit, partly because we liked each other

7:44

well enough, and partly because we were

7:46

more like each other than we were

7:48

like anyone else. We

7:50

knew how to be mean in a way that was

7:52

suggested of love. We.

7:54

knew when to switch to are nice voices

7:56

that we didn't do this often we sang

7:58

together share our lunch, swapped clothes until our

8:01

mothers found out, and warned us that that

8:03

was a fast track for someone to cast

8:05

a spell on you. Senior

8:09

year, best friend grew up, or

8:11

whatever, and decided who to care about,

8:15

which did not include me. And

8:17

that might have been all right, except I care so much

8:20

that some days I smile so hard my

8:22

lips get sore. At

8:24

night I can't sleep. My

8:26

friend lives with her mom and dad

8:28

in a three-bedroom house in a gated

8:30

community. I sit near the

8:33

leather sofa and her legs straddle me. I

8:35

take the hair out of the packaging, cut

8:37

off the beige rubber band, and hold out

8:40

a chunk in my palm. I

8:42

don't like asking her to do my hair.

8:44

She thinks I'm embarrassed because I can't pay

8:47

her. Really, she just

8:49

braids too tight. I

8:51

feel the pressure on my scalp even after

8:53

she releases her thumb. I

8:56

wonder, when she pulls my baby hairs into

8:58

the braid, tucks them beneath a hill of

9:00

hair, repeats, does she

9:02

know she hates me? And just how much? Is

9:04

it finger length, root length, or maybe the kind

9:06

that has no length at all because it never

9:09

stops growing? She turns

9:11

on the real world, which is all

9:13

we ever watch these days because it's good practice

9:15

for chatting with our new white friends. After

9:19

Obama got elected, they flocked to her.

9:22

The white girls who thought she was cool and

9:24

wanted a cool black friend so that they could

9:26

embrace the end of racism in the US. We

9:30

hate them. The

9:33

girls who used to make fun of our hair

9:35

and now tell us that they love it, who

9:37

still don't invite us to their birthday parties because

9:39

their parents like black people fine now but only

9:42

at a distance. That's

9:44

fine, best friend would say, after

9:46

each non-invite. We'll throw a better

9:48

party. If someone doesn't give a fuck about

9:51

you, don't give a fuck about them, easy. I

9:54

don't know why she wants new white friends. The

9:57

only response she'll give is, they're easier. I

10:00

think about that sentence a lot,

10:02

how it's technically complete but also

10:05

cryptic, like it's missing another half.

10:08

Then you, she means to add. Then

10:11

you. Best

10:13

friend's braiding away when she says, I hear

10:16

David likes you. Dave?

10:20

She hums so that it's on me to

10:22

carry the conversation. We

10:25

went on a date, date-ish, I

10:27

say. And when she

10:29

doesn't respond, I add maybe a half date.

10:32

He didn't tell you? Dave

10:34

is best friend's only other real friend. She

10:37

says, he mentioned he liked you

10:39

but I didn't think he was serious. She

10:42

digs into my scalp to pull my little hairs into the

10:44

braid. Before I can say anything, she

10:46

reroutes. She says, well, I

10:49

just thought you didn't like white guys. I don't

10:51

but, and what about Chris? She asks.

10:54

I can like two guys, I say. I

10:57

don't know why I say this. Chris

10:59

and I have said a total of five words

11:01

to each other. Before I

11:03

can take it back, tell her just kidding,

11:05

she says, so you do like David. Another

11:09

dig in my scalp, a pulling at the hair. She

11:12

applies a cool slab of gel to

11:14

my edges. When I

11:16

still don't respond, she says, we had

11:19

sex, you know. You

11:21

never told me. She shrugs. If

11:24

I knew, I tell her, I wouldn't have,

11:26

I don't like him, she says. I was

11:29

just attracted. Okay,

11:31

well, I don't have to,

11:33

do what you want, Eden. I'm fine with it. David

11:36

and I are just friends. Best

11:39

friend changes the subject, swift as

11:41

the next twist. And now

11:43

my scalp is burning and I can't stand

11:45

it anymore. I say, could you be easier

11:47

and pull away? Best

11:50

friend seems surprised to see me crying

11:52

and I say, you know I'm tender

11:54

headed. In

11:56

the floor length mirror next to the TV,

11:58

her eyes go cold. I

12:00

saw that look yesterday during lunch with

12:02

her fangirls, who talk all the time

12:05

but don't say much at all. I

12:08

told one of them that I liked her

12:10

earrings, neon hoops that matched her hair. I

12:13

stole it from Walmart, she replied. I

12:16

didn't know whether she was kidding. All I could

12:18

think of was the beating I'd get if my

12:20

mom found out I'd stolen something.

12:23

Of course, homegirl didn't stop talking. She

12:26

said, I don't even feel bad about

12:28

it. They'd treat their workers poorly. Everyone

12:33

but me and best friend vigorously nodded. Homegirl

12:36

continued. It was easy to snag them. They were

12:38

too busy following a black guy around. Everyone

12:41

laughed, but best friend and I gave each other

12:43

a look. Homegirl added in

12:46

a whisper to me, don't worry, it

12:48

wasn't Chris. Chris

12:52

is the only black guy in our

12:54

year. For most people, that's sufficient cause

12:56

for a wedding, though no one ever

12:59

matched best friend to Chris. I

13:02

excused myself for some milk. And

13:05

when I returned to the cafeteria table,

13:07

carton in hand, one of

13:09

the fangirls had everyone's attention. Best

13:12

friend was giggling in response to something

13:14

surely stupid. I slipped into

13:16

my seat. Mid-giggle, best friend's

13:18

gaze focused on me. Some

13:20

kind of haze rested over her eyes,

13:23

which were hollowed out, replaced by

13:25

obsidian. The usual

13:27

warmth in her face was clouded with caution. She

13:30

was having another conversation entirely. Even

13:33

as I thought, this is why we shouldn't

13:35

hang out with white people, I couldn't

13:37

help but wonder whether she held back when

13:39

she talked to me, too. After

13:43

best friend finishes a row of box

13:45

braids, we take a break from each

13:47

other, a mutual silent decision that exiles

13:50

me to her bathroom. My

13:52

mom taught me that if

13:54

you want to know who a person is, check

13:57

out their bathroom. Best

14:00

friend has her own coral walls, a dainty

14:02

window you can stare out of while you

14:04

pee, not a single hair clung to the

14:06

sink. I felt she was

14:08

a virgin like me, that if I wasn't

14:10

capable of going there yet, neither was she.

14:13

Where did she even have sex? She

14:16

must have liked him for a while without a word to

14:18

me. I washed my hands thinking

14:20

of her expression as I pulled away. What

14:23

part of me displeased her? Could

14:26

I carve it out, little by little? Best

14:29

friend's mom gets off work. She

14:32

sighs when she sees how much of my

14:34

hair is left. She cooks

14:36

us plantains and chicken and then joins best

14:38

friends so they can finish my hair before

14:40

I have to be home. I'm relieved. Though

14:43

best friend's mom is slender, she has

14:46

six sighs and when I sit between

14:48

them staining her stretch marks with grease

14:50

and gel, I feel cradled. She's

14:53

much nicer than my mom. And

14:55

when she speaks to best friend, she's

14:58

warm, which strikes me with envy. Her

15:01

mom turns on passions and we

15:03

watch engrossed by the antics of

15:05

the headless egomaniac Alistair. Hours

15:08

later, best friend's dad comes home. The

15:11

past few months, he's been gone for weeks at

15:14

a time. We never talk about

15:16

it, not my place to ask. He

15:18

tries to kiss best friend's mother on the

15:20

cheek. She recoils. You

15:23

know I am here? He asks. I

15:25

got a call from your school. Your

15:27

teacher wants to meet. I asked her what for? You

15:30

know what she said? Best

15:32

friend doesn't respond. She fixes

15:34

her gaze on the TV. Her fingers grow

15:36

tighter against my hair. She

15:39

says, you're not doing homework and

15:41

you failed a math test. Still

15:44

best friend doesn't react. You

15:46

have time to do hair, but you don't have time for school.

15:49

He insults her in a language I can't

15:51

understand, waving his hands in a steady beat.

15:55

Best friend just pulls and pulls at my hair

15:57

until I yank it away from her. Her

15:59

mom pulls at me. pushes her dad away, her legs jolting

16:01

me and says, she's acting like this because

16:03

of you, pig. We're watching TV, leave us.

16:08

Best friend's mom whispers something in her

16:10

ear and they both turn to me. Best

16:14

friend runs her hands through my hair, which

16:16

is largely unfinished. I

16:18

get the feeling they're done for the night, which

16:21

upsets me, though I hold my face. If

16:24

I went home like this, my mom would yell and I'm not

16:26

in the mood. Best friend's mom

16:29

disappears and comes back with an expensive

16:31

looking earthy scarf that she wraps around

16:33

my head. Best friend stands up and

16:36

I understand that I should follow her and she'll take me

16:38

home. We slip on our shoes by the

16:40

door. I pull at the flaps of my converse and say

16:42

in a low tone, you sure

16:44

you can't finish my hair tonight? She

16:47

starts to laugh and then her face becomes

16:49

serious and she nods without looking at me.

16:52

Not in response to my question, but in

16:54

response to herself. Just

16:57

kidding, I say in a high pitched tone. She

17:00

scrunches her lips and opens the door, steps

17:02

over the threshold and turns to face me.

17:04

She looks lovely in the porch light. The

17:08

bushes behind her neatly shaped. You're

17:11

beautiful, I tell her. She

17:13

flicks her hand, she smiles and disappears inside

17:15

the Jeep. I can finish her hair tomorrow

17:18

after school, she says. We can go to

17:20

your house. I'm not allowed

17:22

to have friends over, you know that. Best

17:24

friend shrugs. My dad's just so, she's

17:27

gazing at me, but I'm seized by

17:29

a coolness that makes me avert my

17:31

eyes, makes my finger press the lock

17:33

and unlock button again and again. Terrible,

17:36

she finishes. Sorry

17:38

you had to see that. That

17:40

was nothing. Best friend raises

17:43

her eyebrows. Just a

17:45

heated conversation, I add. A

17:47

bad day. Is that

17:49

so, she says with an even tone. My

17:52

mom beats me, I continue. That's

17:55

why I never take off the jacket. She

17:58

says she's sorry, then she's. quiet for

18:00

a moment and adds, I just

18:02

wish he was better. I shrug.

18:05

At least he provides for you. Bare

18:08

minimum. Fathers need to be around, you know.

18:11

I don't know. I

18:13

don't say this, though. I

18:15

lean my head against the passenger window. The

18:18

pressure on my braids make me wince. Outside,

18:22

two boys in hoodies strut on the

18:24

crosswalk, taking their time. Best

18:26

friend slams the horn, but they don't move

18:28

any faster. Words

18:30

can be a kind of violence, she says. Not

18:34

actual violence. You've got it

18:36

good, I add. Best

18:39

friend goes rigid, and I smile

18:41

in secret. She

18:43

drops me off without another word, even when I tell

18:45

her thank you and good night. My

18:47

mom is home, still wearing

18:49

her bright pink nursing clothes. I

18:52

try to kiss her on the cheek, but she pulls away and

18:54

says I'm dirty. She

18:56

unravels the rust orange scarf from my hair,

18:58

lets it drop to the floor. Why

19:01

didn't your friend finish? I shrug. She

19:04

says, you look ugly like that, but the

19:06

braids are nice. What about school? I'll

19:10

wear the scarf. She says,

19:12

where'd you get it? When

19:14

I tell her, she says, I bet she bought it

19:16

for $100. I could

19:18

have found it at a yard sale for $5. I

19:23

like it, I say. My

19:26

mom says, stop looking at me like that. What

19:28

are you learning from that friend of yours? I

19:31

lower my eyes. I'm in no mood to be hit. Everything,

19:34

I say. I

19:37

pick up the scarf and head straight to

19:39

the bathroom, which has stained white tiles and

19:41

a moldy shower curtain. I pull

19:43

out scissors from the cabinet behind the mirror,

19:45

and when I cut the carefully braided hair,

19:47

it falls into the sink onto the counter

19:50

down my shirt. I un-braid

19:52

the rest, detach the loose curly

19:54

strands from my roots. I

19:56

wrap the scarf around my head, round up

19:58

all the synthetic strands. and throw them

20:00

into the trash. All better. The

20:04

next day, everyone decides to

20:06

love me. It's the

20:08

scarf which makes me look like the right

20:11

kind of bloke. Trendy,

20:14

like best friend, but different. I've

20:17

unhinged myself from our symbiotic relationship.

20:19

I keep my smile to

20:22

a minimum, so inside I am thrilled. I

20:25

ask Dave on a date. He's

20:28

already going skating with best friends

20:30

tomorrow, but I could come too. I

20:33

remember how she had gone frigid in the car,

20:36

how she wanted my sympathy without

20:38

ever having offered hers. I'll

20:41

be there, I say. Best

20:44

friend gives me a ride home from school. My

20:46

mom wants the scarf back, she says. Reluctantly,

20:50

I unwrap the scarf and place it

20:52

in the compartment between us. She eyes

20:54

my hair warily and says, you took

20:56

it out? I nod,

20:59

noting that she seems hurt. I

21:02

lower the visor, finger my hair, which looks

21:04

like a little hill of fluff. We

21:07

drive in silence for a few minutes. Then

21:09

she tells me that, by the way, she's

21:11

orchestrated an ice skating trip. I

21:14

know, I said. Dave invited

21:16

me. I know, she

21:19

says. He told me. I invited Chris

21:21

and one of my fans too. I'll

21:25

join you all another time, I say. I

21:28

already bought the tickets, group discount. I can't afford

21:30

it. She says, that's okay, it's on me. Why

21:33

would you invite both of them? I blurt

21:35

out. She tells me

21:37

she forgot, and she looks so concerned,

21:39

I can't tell if she's lying. I

21:42

check her eyes and almost see her retreat into

21:44

a back room in her mind. She

21:47

says, two guys like you,

21:49

bigger problems out there. Oh,

21:53

now you understand me, I say. I've

21:56

never been ice skating before. Best

21:59

friend rents the city. for both of us

22:01

and hands me mine. With the skates on, I'm

22:03

a couple inches taller and I like it. Best

22:06

friend slides onto the ice, making a

22:08

sharp yet graceful spin towards me and

22:11

her fan, who hovers next to me

22:13

by the rink's barrier. Best

22:15

friend puts my cheeks in her hands,

22:17

the smile on her face. I don't

22:20

recognize the fullness of it. It

22:22

makes me grin. I say, I didn't

22:24

know you were good at skating. There's

22:27

a lot you don't know about me, Eden, she says,

22:29

with a wink. Dave

22:31

makes small circles near us and when he

22:33

sees best friend skating, he says,

22:36

race me, and they're off. But

22:39

not before she gives him that smile and

22:41

I wonder if he always gets that side

22:43

of her. Look at

22:45

them go, fangirl says. I

22:49

smile, a reflex I immediately regret.

22:52

She never stops talking about you,

22:55

fangirl continues. I can pick

22:57

out best friend in the crowd. She does

22:59

a tight spin and emerges with

23:01

Dave. They're skating slowly, their expressions

23:03

somber, as if they

23:05

went off not to race but to

23:07

have a serious conversation. They

23:10

fix their faces when they reach us, insisting that

23:12

we join them. Fangirl

23:14

lunges towards them, flailing her arms. She bumps

23:16

into Dave, who catches her before she falls.

23:19

Best friend takes my arm and gestures for me to

23:21

let go of the wall. I hesitate, but I let

23:23

go. Best friend tucks one

23:26

arm and mine and the other

23:28

around Fangirl and propels us forward

23:30

in a single stride. We're skating-ish.

23:35

Dave skates alongside us, moving slowly so

23:38

that we can copy his movements. Left

23:40

foot, right foot, left two,

23:43

three, right two, three.

23:46

I'm skating like I have a pole at my butt.

23:50

As we round the corner, I stumble. Fangirl unhooks

23:52

her arm before she falls with me. The

23:55

cold shoots through my skin, but the fall hurt less

23:57

than I thought it would. Dave helps

23:59

me out. I'm sure my heart

24:01

rate triples as he takes my hand. My

24:04

best friend brushes the frost from my pants, laughing.

24:07

Chris appears from wherever. He's

24:10

bumping his head to TikTok by Kesha,

24:12

singing, oh, oh, oh. When

24:15

we ask him where he's been, he says he's been

24:18

here the whole time. I

24:20

have a talent for blending into the background,

24:22

he says, and skating. Maybe

24:24

you can teach Eden. She just fell, best

24:27

friend says. Chris

24:29

extends his arm, which I take, careful not

24:31

to look at Dave or best friend as

24:33

we skate by them. Dave,

24:35

who hasn't taken his eyes off of best

24:38

friend since he entered the rink. And

24:40

can I blame him? Look at her

24:42

twirl. Her hands know precisely where to

24:44

go. She's elegant in a way I'll

24:47

never be. Her confidence intensified

24:49

by the coolness of the rink. And

24:51

me? Well, Chris

24:53

teaches me the fundamentals. And before I

24:56

know it, I'm skating, back and forth,

24:58

along one side of the rink with

25:00

no trouble. He wraps

25:02

his arm in rhyme, and we practice together.

25:05

I trip over my leg, slip and fall hard

25:07

on my butt. Chris stumbles,

25:10

but manages to keep his balance. We're

25:12

laughing, gazing at each other, a look

25:14

that lasts too long to be neutral.

25:17

He has warm eyes, I noticed for the first

25:19

time. He takes my hand, and

25:21

just as he's about to pull me up, I hear

25:24

laughter. Under his arm, I can

25:26

see best friend a few yards away from

25:28

me. She's fallen too. She

25:30

has her hand over her mouth, and

25:32

she laughs outrageously, a sound she stole

25:34

from her mother. She must

25:36

have fallen on purpose. What

25:39

happens to one happens to the other, as

25:41

if our bodies were bound together. You

25:44

OK? Chris asks. His

25:46

expression is so earnest, I want to place his

25:48

head in a pillowcase. I

25:52

look back at best friend, who's looking at me too. Only

25:55

now, she's holding Dave's hand.

25:59

We skate for a little while. longer, hand in hand,

26:01

quiet. The music changes. I'm

26:04

going to sit down for a moment, I say. He skates

26:07

away after a final squeeze of my palm. A

26:10

woman bumps into me on my way

26:13

out. Sorry, she says, with a big

26:15

smile. I got brave. I

26:17

rest on a bench, happy to have something

26:19

sturdied beneath me. I

26:21

could like Chris. He's a

26:23

nice guy. At the

26:26

very least, it feels good to be noticed. Best

26:28

friend joins me. She puts her hands on my shoulder and

26:30

squeezes. I saw you fall. You okay?

26:33

I nod. I'm so happy you came,

26:36

she says. It means a lot to me. I

26:38

fixate on the beauty mark that she drew

26:41

on her left cheek with her mom's brown

26:43

lip liner. I'm not sure what to do

26:45

with her tone. Was she being

26:47

nice because she won whatever game we

26:49

were playing? Me

26:51

too, I say, my voice flat. Disco

26:55

lights flicker across the floor. When

26:57

I look back up, best friend seems far away. I'm

27:00

going back in, she says coolly. What's

27:02

wrong? I

27:05

don't like the way you look at me sometimes, Eden. I

27:08

don't know what you mean. She

27:10

shakes her head and makes for the rink. I'm

27:13

about to follow her when Dave comes up behind

27:15

me. Hey, he says. Hey,

27:18

I say. He sits next to

27:20

me. Haven't

27:22

seen much of you all night, I say,

27:24

trying to keep my voice from turning bitter.

27:27

Yeah, he says, yawning, reaching his hands

27:29

over his head so I can see

27:32

his pale, lean stomach. He

27:34

reminds me of a fish. I've

27:37

mostly been hanging out with the ladies, he adds.

27:40

I shake my head and look out

27:42

to the rink. Best friend is nearby, watching.

27:44

I inch closer to Dave. I

27:47

probably have to go soon, I say. Bums,

27:49

he says. I

27:52

can take you. And then best friend is upon

27:54

us. She seats herself on the other side of

27:56

Dave, her arm hanging around his neck, and it's

27:58

as if I vanished. Hey, what's up?

28:01

Dave says. Best friend sighs loudly. You

28:04

know, he says, I know. She

28:08

says, I felt so good when

28:10

I got onto the rink electric. And

28:12

then I couldn't stop thinking about all those times my

28:14

dad took me skating. A

28:17

mother plops down near us with her son,

28:20

the woman who bumped into me before. Her

28:23

son places his leg on her lap, and

28:25

shimmy's off his skate. The

28:27

boy tries to take his sock off, but the mom

28:29

gestures for him to leave it on. Best

28:32

friend continues. He says

28:34

he'll stay this time. He won't go back to

28:36

the lady and their baby. Her

28:40

dad has another family? The

28:44

right thing to feel in this moment I

28:46

know is sympathy. Instead, I feel stupid and

28:49

embarrassed. Why would

28:51

best friend tell me now when a boy

28:53

is stuck between us, blocking the sight of

28:55

her so that I only have access to

28:57

her hands, which tremble as she speaks, which

29:00

float, then sink, then cut through the air,

29:02

and then lay still in her lap? Why didn't she tell

29:04

me? Dave leans back, and

29:07

I can see best friend again. Her head's on

29:09

Dave's shoulder, and she's watching me. Only

29:11

this time, she looks younger, vulnerable.

29:14

She unwraps herself from Dave and says, I

29:17

have to take Eden home before her curfew. Dave

29:20

looks surprised to see me next to them. Let's

29:23

say bye to our friend, best friend says, taking

29:26

my hand. Fatima, I say

29:29

to her, hm? She responds,

29:32

surprised to hear me call her by her name.

29:35

But I don't have words yet. Outside,

29:37

my stomach starts speaking, so she ropes me

29:40

into the subway across from the rink. I

29:42

stare at the menu, a bit tired and

29:44

overwhelmed by the number of choices. I

29:47

don't know what I want, I say. She

29:49

waits for me to say more. I

29:51

point at the menu, I'm talking about

29:54

the sandwiches. The booth feels

29:56

private, the lights are dimmed. A

29:59

few employees wash dishes. she's in the back chatting. I'll

30:02

pay you back, I say to Fatima, as

30:05

she puts her wallet back into her purse. She

30:07

shakes her head. My dad gave me a debit

30:09

card because he feels guilty. That's

30:12

nice, I say. I

30:14

reach for something else to add and settle on.

30:17

Do you want to talk about it? She

30:20

takes a small bite of her sandwich, guarding her mouth with

30:22

the tips of her fingers. Not really,

30:24

she says. That's OK, I say.

30:27

I had a good time anyway. I

30:29

had a good time too, I say, though

30:31

we both know I'm lying. An

30:34

employee in the back cackles. I

30:36

finish my sandwich, run my tongue against the front of

30:38

my teeth to make sure nothing stuck. Fatima, I say.

30:42

I haven't been a good friend. She

30:44

cocks her head to the side like she's thinking

30:46

about it. She takes another bite of her

30:48

roast beef and chews for a while. I

30:50

pick at the frayed strings of my jeans.

30:53

She clears her throat and smiles slightly when

30:55

she says, no, not

30:57

really. If

30:59

I knew, you did know, she says. You

31:03

didn't want to know. You

31:05

want so badly for me to be perfect.

31:08

What do you mean? I'm the queen of

31:10

imperfection. There, that's it. That's what

31:12

I mean. You act, Fatima continues,

31:15

like me having a bad day is a personal

31:17

affront to you. I'm allowed to have

31:19

a hard time. That has nothing to do with you. I

31:22

don't need you pulling me into a competition. I don't

31:24

like being pulled. It's

31:26

easy to feel like it's not a competition when you're

31:29

winning. She scoffs, shaking

31:31

her head. I lean

31:33

in whispering, it's

31:35

hard being friends with someone who has

31:37

everything. You fail a test. He's right

31:39

at your side. You can bring him

31:42

back. So what? He yells at you.

31:45

Fatima sighs, grabs the napkin and daps

31:47

the tears. I didn't notice were falling

31:49

down my face. Eden,

31:52

she says, listen to

31:54

me. You listening? I nod. If

31:58

you're always the victim, you lose.

32:01

Doesn't matter who you're fighting. Me? She

32:04

says, crumpling the napkin. I'm not

32:06

your enemy. I'm your friend. When

32:10

I get home, I lean against

32:12

the front door aware of a dull pain

32:14

in my backside. I wrap

32:16

some ice cubes in paper towels and place

32:18

it under my thigh. The garage door opens.

32:21

I thrust the ice out of my sight

32:24

under the table. I don't want any questions

32:26

from my mother. Her socks shuffle against the

32:28

floor ungraceful, angry. She

32:30

turns down the corner of the hallway so that I can

32:32

see her now. How tired she

32:34

looks. Her wig chomping her forehead by

32:36

a quarter. She

32:38

faces me leans her purse against

32:40

the hallway console, scratches her cheek

32:42

and says, Hedenia,

32:46

you know what I would like? Hi,

32:48

man me. How are you? I interject. I

32:50

would like a daughter who cleans the house

32:52

while I'm gone. I did

32:54

everything for my man man. She says, but

32:57

you, your daddy's child, only

32:59

care about yourself. And

33:02

she keeps joking. Though she knows

33:05

I've shut the door to my bedroom,

33:07

though she hears the radio now my

33:09

voice singing. And as I sink into

33:11

my comforter, I remember the mother at the

33:13

ice skating rink. How sweetly

33:15

she removed her son's skates. How

33:19

would it be like to have a mom who

33:21

would take me places? We go to the movie

33:23

theaters to Subway, and she'd

33:25

have time to do my hair, wrap

33:27

me in her greasy legs so that

33:29

when she moved, I did too. She

33:32

wouldn't pull with her rough hands, but

33:34

she'd hold my hair firmly. It

33:37

wouldn't hurt. That

33:49

was Anna Uzale performing the story

33:51

Tender by Charlene Bazile. I

33:54

think beyond the complex female friendship depicted

33:56

in Bazile's story, part of what makes

33:59

it special our chance to see

34:01

behind the curtain. That is,

34:03

as readers, we're introduced to Eden and

34:05

Fatima's mothers, and we start to understand

34:07

the root of their insecurity. Author

34:10

and Best American Short Stories 2023 guest

34:13

editor Min Jin Lee told the

34:15

audience what it was in Charlene

34:17

Beziel's writing that moved Lee to

34:19

include the story in Best American.

34:23

Beziel represents and handles

34:25

a contradictory aspect of a

34:27

friendship, complicated by both rivalry

34:30

and symbiosis. The

34:32

story is both intimate and

34:34

painful. Similar to

34:36

the hair braiding ritual, the

34:39

narrator endures from her closest

34:41

friend. We can

34:43

trust the narrator's voice and

34:46

observations about the shortcomings of

34:48

this significant friendship. Charlene

34:51

Beziel has said this about

34:53

her story, I

34:56

love tenderness as the

34:58

guiding mood of this story. To

35:01

be tender headed is to feel

35:03

like you've gone bald from

35:06

a comb slashing through your coarse hair,

35:09

death by a thousand forceful

35:11

tugs. I played

35:13

with the possibilities of intimacies gone

35:15

awry. What if you don't trust

35:17

the person doing your hair? And

35:20

what if it was your best friend? And

35:23

what if you and your best friend wanted

35:25

the same things or thought

35:27

you did? What if

35:29

you were so fixated on

35:31

a perceived competition that

35:34

you couldn't show up for her? What

35:36

if you were the one

35:38

who dealt the first wound

35:42

and they still loved you? That

35:45

was Min Jin Lee on stage at Symphony

35:47

Space. When we return,

35:49

love, competition and the great Grace

35:51

Paley. I'm Meg Wallitzer. You're

35:54

listening to Selected Shorts recorded live in

35:56

performance at Symphony Space in New York

35:58

City and at other venues. nationwide.

36:43

Welcome back. This is Selected Shorts, where

36:45

our greatest actors transport us through the

36:48

magic of fiction, one short story

36:50

at a time. I'm Meg Wolitzer.

36:53

In this show, our stories are

36:55

all about relationships with potentially contradictory

36:57

elements to them. The

37:00

second story in this program is by Grace

37:02

Paley. It was a part

37:04

of an evening we dedicated to Paley's

37:06

excellent short stories, which make up collections,

37:08

including the little disturbances of man and

37:11

enormous changes at the last minute. Paley,

37:14

who died in 2007, was

37:16

a quintessential New York writer. The

37:18

setting and characters of the contest

37:21

certainly reflect something of Paley's hometown,

37:23

but the fraught love affair it depicts

37:25

might just take place anywhere. Performing

37:29

the story is Justin Bartha. He

37:31

appeared in The Hangover and the

37:33

National Treasure Movies, as well as series

37:35

including Godfather of Harlem. Now,

37:38

Bartha reads Grace Paley's The Contest.

37:50

The Contest. Up

37:53

early or late, it never matters. The

37:56

day gets away from me. Summer

37:58

or winter, the shade of trees or

38:00

their hard shadow. I never

38:03

get into my Rice Krispies until noon. I

38:06

am ambitious, but it's a long-range

38:08

thing with me. I

38:11

have my confidential sights on a star, but

38:13

there's half a lifetime to get to it.

38:16

Meanwhile, I keep my eyes open,

38:18

and I am well-dressed. I

38:22

told the examining psychiatrist for the army,

38:25

yes, I like girls. And

38:27

I do. Not my sister, a

38:29

pimp-stream, but girls, slim

38:32

and tender, really stacked,

38:34

dark brown at their centers smeared

38:36

by time. Not my mother,

38:38

who should have stayed in Freud. I have

38:42

got a sense of humor. My

38:45

last girl was Jewish, which is

38:47

often a warm kind of girl,

38:49

concerned about food intake and employability.

38:54

They don't like you to work hard,

38:56

I understand, until you're hooked, and then

38:58

you bastard, sweat. A

39:01

medium girl, size 12, a clay

39:03

pot with handles, she could be

39:06

grasped. I met

39:08

her in the rain outside some cultural

39:10

activity at Cooper Union or Washington

39:12

Irving High School. She

39:15

had no umbrella, and I did, so I walked her home

39:17

to my house. There she

39:19

remained for several hours a yawning

39:21

cavity half asleep. The

39:23

rain rained on the alanthus tree

39:26

outside my window, the wind rattled

39:28

the shutters of my old-fashioned window,

39:31

and I took my time making coffee and

39:33

carving an ounce of pound cake. I

39:36

don't believe in force, and I would have waited, but

39:38

her loneliness was very

39:40

great. We

39:42

had quite a nice time for a few weeks. She

39:45

brought rolls and bagels from wherever the

39:47

stuff can still be requisitioned. On

39:50

Sundays, she'd come out of Brooklyn with

39:52

a chicken to roast. She thought I was too skinny.

39:55

I am, but girls like it. If

39:57

you're fat, they can see immediately that you'll

39:59

never need their use. unique talent for warmth.

40:03

Spring came. She said, Where

40:05

are we going? In just

40:07

those words. Now, I

40:10

have met this attitude before. Apparently,

40:12

for most women, good food and fun for all are

40:14

too much of a good thing. The

40:17

sun absorbed July and she said it

40:19

again, Freddy, if we're not going anywhere,

40:21

I'm not going along anymore. We

40:24

were beach driven those windy Sundays. Her

40:26

mother must have told her what to say.

40:29

She said it was such imprisoned conviction. One

40:33

Friday night in September, I came home from

40:35

an unlucky party. All the

40:37

faces had been strange. There were no

40:39

extra girls and after some muted conversation

40:42

with the glorious properties of other men,

40:45

I felt terrible and went home. In

40:47

an armchair looking at an art news full

40:49

of Dutchmen who had lived eighty years and

40:51

forty was Dorothy. And

40:54

by her side an overnight case. I

40:57

could hardly see her face when she stood to

40:59

greet me, but she made tea first and steamed

41:01

some of my order into the day of night.

41:05

Listen, Freddy, she said, I told my mother

41:07

I was visiting Leona in Washington for two

41:09

days and I fixed it with Leona. Everyone

41:11

will cover me, pouring tea and producing

41:14

seeded tarts from some secret flat Bush

41:16

Avenue bakery. All this to

41:18

change the course of a man's appetite and

41:20

enable conversation to go forward. So

41:23

listen, Freddy, you don't take yourself

41:25

seriously and that's the reason you can't

41:27

take anything else, a job or a

41:30

relationship seriously. Freddy,

41:32

you don't listen. You

41:35

laugh, but you're very barbaric. You

41:37

live at your nerves end. If you're near a radio,

41:39

you listen to music. If you're near an open ice

41:41

box, you stuff yourself. If a girl is within ten

41:43

feet of you, you have her stripped and on a

41:46

spit. Now Dottie,

41:48

don't be so graphic, I said. Every

41:51

man is his own rotisserie. that

42:00

the East River separated her from her mother. Poor

42:03

girl, she was avid. And

42:05

she was giving. By Sunday night

42:07

I had ended half a dozen

42:09

conversation and nipped their moral judgments at

42:11

the homiletic route. By

42:14

Sunday night I had said, I love you, Dottie.

42:17

Twice. By Monday morning I

42:19

realized the extent of my commitment and I don't

42:21

mind saying it prevented my going to a job

42:23

I had swung on Friday. My

42:26

impression of women is that they mean well

42:28

but are driven to an obsessive end by

42:30

greedy tradition. When Dott

42:32

found out that I'd decided against that job,

42:35

what job, a job, that's all, she took

42:37

action. She returned my copy in

42:39

1984 and said in a note that I could

42:41

keep the six wine glasses her mother had lent

42:43

me. Well, I

42:46

did miss her. You don't

42:48

meet such wide-open kindness every day.

42:51

She was no fool either. I'd say

42:54

peasant wisdom is what she had. Not

42:56

too much education. Her hair

42:59

was long and dark. I'd always

43:01

seen it in nice little

43:03

quafures or repurably disarrayed until

43:05

that weekend. It

43:07

was staggering. I

43:10

missed her and then I didn't have too

43:12

much luck after that. Very

43:14

little money to spend and girls are

43:16

primordial with intuition. It

43:18

was one nice little married girl whose

43:21

husband was puttering around in another postal

43:23

zone but her heart wasn't in it.

43:25

I got some windy copy to do through

43:28

my brother-in-law, clean-cut crudier who

43:30

was always crackling bank notes at

43:32

family parties. Things

43:34

picked up. Out of

43:37

my gas-bag profits one weekend I was

43:39

propelled into the craggy moor, a high-pressure

43:41

resort a star-studded haven with eleven hundred

43:43

acres of golf course. When

43:46

I returned, exhausted but modest,

43:49

there she was, right in

43:51

my parlor floor-front. With

43:53

a few gasping kind words and

43:55

a modern gimmick she hoped to breathe

43:57

eternity into a mortal matter. Ah,

44:01

Dotty," I said, holding out my

44:03

accepting arms. I'm always glad to

44:05

see you." Of course, she

44:08

explained. I didn't come for that,

44:10

really, Freddy. I came to talk to you. We

44:12

have a terrific chance to make some real money

44:15

if you'll only be serious a half hour. You're

44:17

so clever, and you ought to direct yourself

44:20

to something. God, you could live in

44:22

the country. I mean, even if you kept living alone,

44:24

you could have a decent place on a decent street

44:26

instead of this dump. I

44:29

kissed the top of her nose. If

44:31

you want to be very serious, Dot, let's

44:33

get out and walk. Come on, get your

44:35

coat on and tell me all about how to make

44:37

money. She did. We

44:40

walked out to the park and scattered

44:42

autumn leaves for an hour. Now, don't

44:44

laugh, Freddy, she told me. There's a

44:46

Yiddish paper called Morgan Leisht. It's

44:49

running a contest. Jews in

44:51

the news. Every day

44:53

they put a picture and two descriptions. You

44:56

have to say who the three people are,

44:58

add one more fact about them, and then

45:00

send it in by midnight that night. It

45:02

runs three months at least. A

45:05

hundred Jews in the news, I said.

45:07

What a tolerant country. So

45:10

Dot, what do you get for

45:12

this useful information? First prize,

45:14

$5,000 and a trip to Israel. Also

45:17

on return, two days each in the three largest

45:20

European capitals in the free West. Very

45:22

nice, I said. What's

45:24

the idea though, to uncover the ones

45:26

they've been passing? Freddy,

45:29

why do you look at everything inside out?

45:31

They're just proud of themselves and they want

45:34

to make Jews everywhere proud of their contribution

45:36

to this country. Aren't you proud? Woe

45:39

to the crown of pride. I

45:42

don't care what you think. The point is,

45:44

we know somebody who knows somebody on the

45:46

paper. He writes a special article once a

45:48

week. We don't know him really, but our

45:50

family name is familiar to him. So

45:53

we have a very good chance if we really

45:55

do it. Look how smart you are,

45:57

Freddy. I can't do it myself, Freddy. You have

45:59

to help. me. It's a thing I made up

46:01

my mind to do, anyway. If Dottie Wasserman really

46:03

makes up her mind, it's practically done." I

46:07

hadn't noticed this obstinacy in her character

46:09

before. I had none in my own. Every

46:13

weekday night after work she leans thoughtfully on

46:15

my desk, wearing for warmth a Harris tweed

46:17

jacket that ruined the nap of my arm.

46:20

Somewhere out of doors a strand of

46:22

copper and constant agitation carry information from

46:24

her mother's Brooklyn phone to her ear.

46:28

Peering over her shoulder I would sometimes

46:30

discover a three-quarter view of a newsworthy

46:32

Jew or a full view of a

46:34

half Jew. The fraction did not interfere

46:36

with the rules. They were glad

46:38

to extract him and be proud. The

46:41

longer we worked the prouder Dottie became.

46:44

Her face flushed. She'd raise her head

46:46

from the hieroglyphics and read her own

46:49

translation. A gray-headed gentleman very much respected.

46:51

An intimate of cabinet members. A true

46:53

friend to a couple of presidents often

46:56

seen in the park sitting on a

46:58

bench. Bernard Baruch,

47:00

I snapped, and then a hard one,

47:03

has contributed to the easiness of interstate

47:06

commerce. His creation is worth millions and

47:08

was completed last year. Still

47:10

he has time for Deborah, Susan, Judith, and

47:12

Nancy as four daughters. For

47:15

this I smoked and guzzled a

47:17

hot eggnog Dott had whipped up to give

47:19

me strength and girth. I

47:22

stared at the stove, the ceiling,

47:25

my irritable shutters, then

47:27

I said calmly, Chaim

47:29

Pasi, he's a bridge architect.

47:32

I never forget a name, no matter

47:34

what typeface it appears in. Imagine

47:38

it, Freddy. I didn't even know there

47:40

was a Jew who had such accomplishment in that

47:42

field. Actually, it sometimes

47:44

took as much as an hour to attach a

47:47

real name to a list of exaggerated attributes. When

47:50

it took that long I couldn't help muttering, Well,

47:52

we've uncovered another one. Put him on the

47:54

list for Vantu. Dottie'd

47:56

say sadly, I have to believe you're joking.

48:00

Well, why do you think she liked me? All

48:03

you little psychoanalyzed people now say it

48:05

all at once in a chorus, because

48:07

she is a masochist and you are

48:09

a sadist." No, I

48:12

was very good to her. And,

48:14

to all the love she gave me, I responded.

48:18

And I kept all her appointments and called

48:20

her on Fridays to remind her about Saturday,

48:22

and when I had money I brought her

48:24

flowers and once earrings and once a black

48:26

brassiere I saw advertised in the paper with

48:29

some cleverly stitched windows for ventilation. I

48:32

still have it. She never dared

48:34

take it home. But

48:36

I will not be eaten by any woman. My

48:39

poor old mother died with a sizable chunk of

48:42

me stuck in her gullet. I

48:44

was in the army at the time, but

48:46

I understand her last words were, Introduce Reddy

48:48

to Eleanor Thobstein. She

48:52

left my sister to the nerve of that woman, including

48:54

me in a codicil. She

48:57

left my sister to that ad man and

48:59

culinary expert with a crew cut. She left

49:01

my father to the commiseration of aunts, while

49:03

me, her prized possession, and the best piece

49:05

of meat in the freezer of her heart,

49:07

she left to Ellen Thobstein. As

49:10

a matter of fact, Dottie said it herself. I

49:13

never went with a fellow who paid as

49:15

much attention as you, Freddy. You're

49:17

always there. I know I'm

49:19

not lonesome or depressed. All I have to

49:22

do is call you and you'll meet me

49:24

downtown and drop whatever you're doing. Don't

49:26

think I don't appreciate it. The

49:29

established truth is, I wasn't doing

49:31

much. My brother-in-law could

49:34

have kept me in clover, but he

49:36

pretended I was a specialist and certain

49:38

ornate copy infrequently called for by his

49:40

concerned. Therefore I

49:42

was able to give my wit, energy,

49:44

and attention to Jews in the news.

49:47

Morgan leash the paper that comes out

49:50

the night before. And

49:53

so we reached the end. Dott

49:55

really believed we'd win. I was

49:57

almost persuaded. Drinking hot chocolate

49:59

and screwdrivers we fantasized

50:01

six weeks away. We

50:04

won. I received a 9

50:06

a.m. phone call one midweek morning. Rise

50:09

and shine, Frederick P. Sims. We did

50:11

it. You see, whatever you really

50:13

try to do, you can do." She

50:16

quit work at noon and met me for lunch

50:18

at an outdoor cafe in the village, full of

50:20

smiles and corrupt with pride. We

50:23

ate very well, and I had to hear

50:25

the following information, part of it I'd suspected.

50:28

It was all in her name. Of

50:31

course, her mother had to get some. She

50:33

had helped with the translation because Dottie had

50:35

very little Yiddish, actually, not to mention her

50:37

worry about the security of her old age.

50:40

And it was necessary they had decided

50:42

in midnight conference to send some money

50:44

to their old Aunt Lise, who had

50:46

gotten out of Europe only ninety minutes

50:48

before it was sealed forever, and was

50:50

now in Toronto among strangers, having lost

50:52

most of her mind. The

50:55

trip abroad to Israel and three other European

50:58

capitals was for two. They

51:00

had to be married. If

51:03

our papers could not include one that

51:05

proved our conjunction by law, she

51:07

would sail alone. Before I

51:09

could make my accumulating statement, she shrieked, oh, her

51:11

mother was waiting in front of Lord and Sailors,

51:13

and she was off. I

51:16

smoked my miserable, encrusted pipe and

51:18

considered my position. Meanwhile,

51:21

in another part of the city, wheels

51:23

were moving, presses humming, and the next day

51:26

the facts were composed from right to left

51:28

across the masthead of Morgan Lise. Brooklyn

51:30

girl knows all the answers. Dottie

51:33

Wasserman wins. Neatly

51:35

boxed below, a picture of Dot and

51:38

me eating lunch recalled a bright flash

51:40

that had illuminated the rice pudding the

51:42

day before, as I sat drenched in

51:44

the fizzle of my modest hopes. I

51:47

sent Dottie a postcard. It

51:49

said, No Can Do. The

51:53

final arrangements were complicated due to the reluctance

51:55

of the Israeli government to permit egress to

51:58

dollar bills which were making the grand of

52:00

all. Once inside that

52:02

province of Cosmopolitans, the dollar was

52:04

expected to resign its hedonistic role

52:06

as an American toy and begin

52:08

the Presbyterian life of a tool.

52:12

Within two weeks, letters came from

52:14

abroad bearing this information and containing

52:16

photographs of Dottie smiling at a

52:19

kibbutz, leaning sympathetically on a wailing

52:21

wall, unctuous in an orange grove.

52:24

I decided to take a permanent job for

52:26

a couple of months in an agency, attaching

52:29

the following copy to photographs of upright men.

52:31

This is Bill Fieri. He is the man who

52:34

will take your order for tons

52:36

of red-label fertilizer. He knows the

52:38

Midwest, he knows your needs, call

52:40

him Bill and call him now.

52:44

I was neat and brown-eyed, innocent and

52:46

alert, offended by the chicanery of my

52:48

fellows, powered by decency, going straight up.

52:51

The lean shank girls had been brought

52:54

to New York by tractor, and they

52:56

were going straight up, too, through the

52:58

purgatory of man's avarice to whore's heaven,

53:00

the palace of possessions. While

53:04

I labored at my dreams, Dottie

53:06

spent some money to see the leaning tower of

53:08

Pisa and ride in a gondola. She

53:11

decided to stay in London at least two weeks

53:13

because she felt at home there, and

53:15

so all this profit was at last

53:17

being left in the hands of foreigners

53:20

who had invested to their own advantage.

53:23

One misty day the boom of foghorns

53:25

rolling round Manhattan Island reminded me of

53:28

a cable gram I had determined to

53:30

ignore, arriving Queen Elizabeth,

53:32

Wednesday, 4 p.m. I ignored

53:35

it successfully all day and was

53:37

casual with a couple of cool

53:39

blondes, and went home and was

53:41

lonely. I was lonely

53:43

all evening. I tried writing

53:46

a letter to an athletic girl I had met

53:48

in a ski lodge a few weeks before. I

53:51

thought of calling some friends, but the

53:53

pure, unmentionable facts is that women

53:56

isolate you. There was no

53:58

one to call. I

54:00

went out for an evening paper, read it, listened

54:03

to the radio, went out for a morning

54:05

paper, had a beer, read

54:07

the paper, and waited for the calculation

54:09

of morning. I

54:11

never went to work the next day, or the

54:14

day after. No word came

54:16

from Dot. She must have

54:18

been crawling with guilt, poor

54:20

girl. I

54:23

finally wrote her a letter. It was

54:25

very strong. My dear

54:27

Dorothy, when I consider our relationship

54:29

and recall its seasons, the summer sun that's

54:31

shone on it and the winter snow as

54:33

it plowed through, I can

54:36

still find no reason for your

54:38

unconscionable behavior. I realize

54:40

that you were motivated by the hideous examples

54:42

of your mother and all the mothers before

54:44

her. You were, in

54:47

a word, a prostitute. The

54:49

love and friendship I gave were apparently not

54:52

enough. What did you want? You

54:54

gave me the swamp waters of your affection

54:56

to drown in, and because I refused you

54:59

planned this desperate revenge. In

55:01

all earnestness I helped you, combing my

55:03

memory for those of our faith who have

55:05

touched the press happy nerves of this nation.

55:08

What did you want? Marriage?

55:12

Ah, that's it. A happy

55:14

daddy and mommy home. The

55:16

home happy day you could put your hair

55:18

up in curlers, swab cream in the corner

55:21

of your eyes. I'm

55:23

not sure all this is for Fred. I

55:27

am twenty-nine years old and not getting

55:29

any younger. All around me

55:31

boy graduates have attached their bow legs to the

55:33

ladder of success. Dotty

55:35

Wasserman. Dotty

55:37

Wasserman, what can I say to you? If

55:41

you think I have been harsh, face the fact

55:43

that you haven't dared face me. We

55:46

had some wonderful times together. We

55:48

could have them again. This is

55:50

a great opportunity to start on a more human basis.

55:54

You cannot impose your narrow view of life

55:56

on me. Make up your mind, Dotty Wasserman.

55:59

Sincerely with recollection. deflection, F. P.S.,

56:04

this is your last chance. Two

56:08

weeks later, I received a $100

56:10

bill. A

56:13

week after that, at my door, I

56:16

found a carefully packed leather portfolio, hand-sewn

56:19

in Italy, and

56:21

a projector with a box of

56:23

slides showing interesting views of

56:25

Europe and North Africa. And

56:28

after that, nothing at

56:30

all. That

56:42

was Justin Bartha performing The Contest by

56:44

Grace Paley. Ah, so

56:46

heartbreaking to have a character who is so smart

56:48

and so dumb at the same time. And

56:51

Bartha does a great job of making all of

56:53

his ambivalence feel almost, what,

56:55

relatable. While Freddie is

56:57

the one telling the story, we question

56:59

his reliability pretty soon. And

57:02

though Dottie never gets her own point

57:04

of view, in a way she actually

57:06

does get one, because Grace Paley lets

57:08

us see Freddie through his own words,

57:10

which then allows us to imagine Dottie's

57:12

perceptions of him, which must

57:14

certainly contain, let's call it, ambivalence.

57:18

Paley has dexterity when it comes to character.

57:21

Whose story is this, we sometimes wonder?

57:24

Having such a fine writer move in and

57:26

out of that question is just a delight.

57:29

A good story forces us to empathize

57:31

with characters' traits, even the unsavory

57:33

ones. Each of us understands,

57:35

in our own lives, how we might hurt

57:37

a friend we love more than anyone else,

57:40

or sabotage ourselves despite our best

57:42

intentions. When we get

57:44

the chance to see those character flaws reflected

57:47

back to us in fiction, we just

57:49

might feel seen. I'm Meg

57:51

Wolitzer. Thanks for joining me for

57:53

Selected Shorts. Selected

58:04

Shorts is produced by Jennifer

58:06

Brennan, Jenny Falcon, and Sarah

58:08

Montague. Our team includes Matthew

58:10

Love, Drew Richardson, Mary Schimpkin,

58:12

Vivienne Woodward, and Magdalene Roglesky.

58:15

The readings are recorded by Miles B. Smith.

58:18

Our mix engineer for this episode

58:20

was Mie Hirschfeld. Our theme

58:22

music is David Peterson's That's the Deal,

58:25

performed by the Dierdorf Peterson Group. Selected

58:28

Shorts is supported by the Dungannon Foundation.

58:31

This program is also made possible with public

58:33

funds from the New York State Council on

58:35

the Arts with the support of Governor Kathy

58:37

Hochul and the New York State Legislature. Selected

58:40

Shorts is produced and distributed by Symphony

58:42

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