0:00

This is a theater we've been invited

0:02

into. And we are

0:04

rolling. The Paris Review podcast returns

0:06

with a new season. There's something

0:09

about silence she wants to break.

0:11

Interviews, fiction, essays and poetry. The

0:13

Eye in the Poems is made

0:16

of paper. I just want you to

0:18

enjoy yourselves. Please come inside

0:20

and do not be afraid.

0:23

Tune in for the fourth season

0:25

of the Paris Review podcast. Prepare

0:32

yourself. No,

0:40

you don't have to go on one of those

0:43

wilderness survival shows. But it's never a bad idea

0:45

to expect the unexpected. I'm

0:47

Meg Wallitzer and this week on

0:49

Selected Shorts, writers including Margaret Atwood

0:52

help us get ready to save

0:54

one another and ourselves. Stay tuned.

1:01

You're listening

1:03

to Selected

1:05

Shorts, where

1:07

our greatest actors transport us

1:10

through the magic of fiction,

1:12

one short story at a time. If you

1:14

fail to plan, you plan to fail. That

1:18

quote, often attributed to but probably

1:20

not originated by Benjamin

1:27

Franklin, is just one of those old saws that a buzzkill parent

1:29

or some other boring adult intoned

1:32

at you when you had some big test or

1:34

another challenge looming on the horizon. And

1:38

as much as I hate to say those boring

1:40

adults and Benjamin Franklin and whoever

1:42

else were right, they kind of

1:44

were. Maybe the only

1:46

way to really be prepared is to follow the lead of a

1:49

great fictional character, Mary Poppins, whose carpet bag seemed to be

1:52

a little bit more than a big deal. The

1:56

carpet bag seemed to contain everything, but

1:59

I could never be prepared. like that. Clearly,

2:01

I'm not practically perfect in every way.

2:04

It's true that we can't plan for some

2:06

of life's less than pleasant surprises, but

2:09

let's take some direction from the school principal

2:11

who made us do fire drills, often in

2:13

winter, and from your mother, who always wanted

2:15

you to take a rain bonnet with you.

2:18

Can I just ask two questions before getting back

2:20

to the power of literature? Has

2:23

anyone, anywhere, ever voluntarily worn

2:25

a rain bonnet? And

2:27

why is it called a bonnet that

2:29

little piece of accordion folded plastic with

2:31

the single metal snap is surely not

2:34

a 19th century invention? And

2:36

yet, your mother might tell you that if you have

2:38

a rain bonnet with you at all times, you will

2:40

be able to face obstacles that come your way, at

2:43

least those of the inclement kind. The

2:46

stories on this show all feature characters who

2:48

see some kind of obstacle up in front

2:50

of them, and they either

2:52

rehearse for that future emergency, or

2:55

at least make sense of the possibility in

2:57

order to render it less scary. In

3:00

one story, a father starts a game of

3:02

doctor with his children that goes

3:05

way beyond tonsillitis. In

3:07

another, a night watchman ignores

3:09

one small injury and inadvertently

3:11

invites a much more serious one.

3:14

And in a third, the great

3:16

Margaret Atwood tells a tale of

3:18

love, wounds, and resuscitation Annie. Let's

3:21

begin our tales of rescue with a piece

3:23

by writer Joe Minow. Minow

3:26

is a fiction writer and playwright

3:28

whose many novels include hairstyles of

3:30

the damned and his recent book

3:32

of extraordinary tragedies. He's got

3:34

a very playful way of looking at dark

3:36

subjects, which is in part why we asked

3:38

him to be in our anthology, Small Odysseys.

3:41

Reading this story about the perils

3:43

of imaginary medicine is Becky Ann

3:46

Baker. She's a dedicated

3:48

thespian who's been on Broadway multiple

3:50

times, appeared in films such

3:52

as A Simple Plan and on many

3:54

series including Girls. Now

3:56

here's Becky Ann Baker with Joe

3:58

Minow's Animal Hospital. Animal Hospital.

4:07

Animal Hospital. Animal

4:10

Hospital, Animal Hospital, the children would

4:12

shout, we want to play Animal

4:14

Hospital. Together the

4:16

brother and sister sounded like kooks,

4:19

like bedlamites, like unchristened

4:21

savages. Animal Hospital

4:23

was a game the father had invented one

4:26

day while the mother rose away. It

4:28

was only ever played in her absence. No

4:31

one needed to say this directly, as

4:33

it was something both the boy and the

4:36

girl intuitively understood, because

4:38

there was something about the game that

4:40

was troubling, not quite right.

4:44

It began soon after their pet cat,

4:46

a Russian blue, had been put to

4:48

sleep, after which the

4:50

children fell into an adult grief

4:52

that lasted several weeks. During

4:55

this time the children lay on the floor

4:57

beside bowls of stale milk, sadly

5:00

meowing. It

5:02

went on like this until one Saturday, a

5:04

month later, when the father said

5:06

enough. He had been lying

5:08

unhappily on the floor, allowing his

5:11

children to whine and pelt him with

5:13

toys. He sat up

5:15

and adjusted his glasses and said, okay, let's

5:18

find something else to do, something fun.

5:21

What fun, the children asked.

5:25

I know, the father said, let's play a game. No,

5:28

the children cried as if they

5:30

had been scalded. Come

5:32

on, let's make something up.

5:35

No, they cried again, rolling around

5:37

on the floor like lepers. The

5:41

father tried to conjure up the last interesting game

5:43

he could think of, something

5:45

that would keep the children busy, but

5:47

would require almost no effort from him.

5:52

I know, he said, let's pretend to be

5:54

Lutheran. No,

5:59

the children shouted. How did him protest?

6:02

Let's pretend to work for the IRS. No,

6:06

the children said again. I know,

6:08

I know. How about animal

6:10

doctors? Let's pretend to

6:12

be animal doctors. He picked

6:14

up a stuffed animal, a furry white rabbit,

6:16

and said, look, this animal seems

6:18

to be sick. Who can help? The

6:22

daughter looked down at the stuffed rabbit

6:24

and said, he looks fine. The

6:27

father adjusted his glasses again and

6:29

then leaned over, poking the animal's

6:31

fluffy side. No, its

6:33

belly looks a little swollen, he said,

6:35

and I'm not getting much

6:37

of a pulse. Maybe

6:40

it has a tumor, the boy said, six

6:43

years old. Maybe

6:46

it has a heart defect, the girl,

6:48

four years old, replied. The

6:51

father raised his eyebrows, thinking it over.

6:54

Maybe, he said, should we operate?

6:57

The children nodded seriously. Their

7:01

operating tools were a plastic toy

7:03

telephone, a child-sized flashlight

7:05

that was missing its batteries,

7:08

and broken doll's arm. The

7:11

children held the instruments aloft and tried

7:13

not to be invasive. He

7:16

mimed removing an important organ and

7:18

then held it up proudly. I

7:20

think its kidney is infected, he

7:22

said. Let's put in a new one. Hurry,

7:25

the patient's blood is beginning

7:27

to coagulate, the boy said.

7:31

Really, the father asked. Hurry,

7:34

its eyeballs are starting to pop out,

7:36

the girl said. Hold on,

7:38

the father said. Here, look, a brand

7:41

new kidney, the father said, holding up a

7:43

piece of red felt. I've

7:45

attached it just in time. No,

7:48

the boy said. It's

7:50

dying. Really,

7:53

the father asked. We just put a new

7:55

kidney in. The kidney

7:57

didn't work, the girl said. Look,

7:59

it's dying. shaky. Its heart

8:01

is beating too hard. Then

8:04

here the father said, let's give

8:06

it a new heart. No, the

8:08

boy said, it's too late, it's dying.

8:11

Really? the father asked again, because I feel

8:13

like we should get another doctor in here.

8:17

Maybe someone with more experience?

8:20

No, the girl said, it's dying. We're

8:22

going to have to put it to

8:24

sleep. Really? the father asked

8:27

more than a little incredulous. The

8:30

children both nodded grimly. It

8:32

felt like they were trespassing then

8:34

stepping beyond some age old boundary,

8:37

like the room itself had suddenly fallen

8:39

into shadows. The father looked

8:41

at them and said, we

8:43

only put them to sleep if

8:46

there's no other way. There's no

8:48

other way. The

8:51

children both agreed, but

8:53

this too was part of life. And so

8:55

the father sighed and picked up a broken

8:57

plastic pen using it as

8:59

a syringe. Any last words? the father

9:02

asked. Shay hi to

9:04

Jesus. The girl said the

9:07

father blinked and then inserted the

9:09

imaginary dose of Fina barbitol. The

9:12

children looked down at what they had done. There

9:15

was a gruesome pleasure and

9:17

odd freedom to the proceedings. The

9:19

father was sure he had allowed the children

9:21

to do something they weren't supposed to, but

9:24

he felt he lacked the mother's resources,

9:27

the affectionate irrational instinct to prevent

9:29

them from what they had done.

9:31

The stuffed

9:33

bunny now looking limp, now

9:36

properly euthanized was

9:38

left in a corner of the basement, never

9:40

to be played with again. Two

9:44

days later, the children began

9:46

to plead animal hospital, animal

9:48

hospital, demanding to play the

9:50

game again. The father felt

9:53

uncertain about this as he did

9:55

most things. He

9:57

was glad they were doing something other than lying on

9:59

the floor. throwing things at him, he

10:02

was also happy he could for once

10:04

give the children something they wanted, as

10:07

this was usually the position most often

10:09

held by their darling mother. But

10:12

it felt a little wrong. Finally

10:15

seeing their round cartoon-shaped faces,

10:17

he agreed. The boy

10:19

presented a rotund polar bear, placing

10:21

it on the floor before them.

10:24

What seems to be the trouble with this

10:27

fellow? the father asked. The

10:29

girl turned the polar bear on its back and said,

10:31

it's got hettles. Hettles,

10:35

the father asked. It's

10:37

like a rash, the girl announced, but

10:39

on the inside. Is

10:42

that even possible? the father asked. But

10:45

the girl only shrugged her shoulders. The

10:48

father tried a false smile. Well

10:50

that sounds easy enough here and

10:52

he pretended to feed the bear

10:54

a large capsule. One of

10:56

these and he'll be good as new. No,

10:59

the boy said. Look,

11:02

he's choking. He's

11:05

not choking. Look

11:07

at his eyes. He is, the girl

11:10

said. The headels are on the inside

11:12

of his throat. The

11:14

father held the polar bear close

11:16

and then gave it an injection

11:18

from a disposable pen. Here he

11:20

said, the antidote. I just discovered

11:22

it. We'll save this patient. No,

11:26

the boy said. Now

11:28

it's got heart failure. It's

11:31

hard as bad, the girl added. We have

11:34

to put it to sleep. But

11:37

look, the father said. Look, it's

11:39

moving. Those are

11:41

worms from the infection. They

11:45

only make it look like they're moving. Really,

11:48

the father murmured. Worms. We

11:52

had better put it to sleep, the girl said

11:54

again. The father

11:56

looked up at the serious expressions

11:58

on their faces. Our

12:00

mortality rate around here, guys, is... It's

12:04

not good. Let's try something else.

12:08

But both children had already made up

12:10

their minds. The father

12:12

sighed a deep sigh, wishing he had

12:14

some sort of secret abiding strength, but

12:17

found there was none. Defeated,

12:19

he slid the imaginary needle in

12:22

and then set the instruments down.

12:25

The children's faces looked eerie

12:27

and pleased. They

12:29

said they wanted to put on a funeral for

12:31

the bear, but the father waved them away, saying

12:33

he suddenly had a headache. The

12:36

following Saturday, while the father and mother were

12:39

laying in bed, the children

12:41

began to shout, Animal hospital,

12:43

animal hospital, we want to play

12:45

animal hospital. No way,

12:47

the father said. You guys, no way.

12:50

But the children would not relent. Animal

12:53

hospital, animal hospital. Finally,

12:55

the father crawled from bed and fixed

12:57

some instant coffee. The girl

12:59

placed the patient, a

13:01

sad-eyed elephant, down on the

13:03

glass table. The

13:06

father stared at the animal, poking it

13:08

impersonally with his pinky. What's

13:11

wrong with Mr. Floppy? he asked.

13:14

Lice, the boy said. Lice?

13:18

That's it? That shouldn't be too hard.

13:21

Lice, the boy said. They

13:23

burrowed into his heart. Jesus,

13:29

you guys, he said. You have to...

13:32

The father paused, running a hand over his

13:34

tired face. Well, what do

13:36

you want to do about it? We have to

13:38

shave it, they said. The father

13:41

sucked in a breath and looked around the floor

13:43

for something to use. He found

13:45

a broken meat thermometer and prodded it

13:47

into the elephant's side. There,

13:49

he said, a dose of penicillin.

13:51

All better. No, the

13:53

boy said. Now it's

13:56

got gangrene. No,

13:58

the girl said. He got polio.

14:02

Polio, the father asked, what the, you

14:04

guys, your mom is trying to sleep

14:06

in there. Let's play this game later.

14:08

No, they said, you have to shave

14:11

it. Jesus, the

14:13

father grumbled, just Jesus. He

14:16

pulled a corkscrew out of a drawer and

14:18

inserted it into one of the patient's floppy

14:21

ears. There, he

14:23

said, this is an inoculation

14:25

against both gangrene and polio.

14:27

Now he's fine. No,

14:30

the girl said. Now

14:33

it doesn't want to live. Come

14:36

on, the father said, a little too

14:38

excited. You guys hear, he said again.

14:40

I just gave him some antidepressants. Now

14:42

he's feeling better. No.

14:48

Now he's overweight, the boy said.

14:52

Now he's got diabetes. No

14:56

way, the father said, no way. We're

14:59

going to have to amputate the girl's head.

15:01

We're going to have to cut off its

15:03

legs. The father put

15:05

down the imaginary needle and said, OK,

15:07

we're done here. We're done playing this

15:09

game. The children said, no, we have

15:11

to put it to sleep. No

15:14

way, the father said. We're not putting anything

15:16

in this house to sleep. But

15:19

the children would not concede. The

15:21

father thought that if he could only convince them

15:23

of something to get them

15:25

to see that death was not

15:27

the only answer, that they would

15:29

come to understand something important, something

15:31

necessary, something fiercely beautiful. But

15:34

he did not know how to put any of

15:36

these things into words. He

15:39

thought about waking his wife, thought about asking

15:41

her what he should do. But

15:43

he knew she would only give him that

15:45

look of familiar disappointment. Animal

15:48

hospital, animal hospital, animal hospital. The

15:50

children were now chanting. Animal

15:53

hospital, animal hospital, animal hospital. He

15:56

held the imaginary needle aloft, doing

15:59

his best. to think once

16:02

again, not knowing what to

16:04

do. That

16:15

was Animal Hospital by Joe Minow, read

16:18

by Becky Ann Baker. Presumably

16:20

those kids will be mentally prepared for

16:23

any medical emergency that comes their way,

16:26

or collapse when they get a hangnail. Mortality

16:29

is part of what inspired Animal Hospital.

16:31

I spoke to author Joe Minow about

16:34

fiction and writing. When

16:37

I was putting the story together,

16:39

my wife's father and then stepfather

16:41

had passed away over the period

16:43

of a year. And we had

16:45

younger children at the

16:47

time. And so we were struggling

16:49

to talk about this idea of death, like

16:51

my children are three years or four years

16:54

old. And we had all these books to

16:56

talk about it. And

16:58

there was this moment of

17:01

trying to describe this idea

17:03

that after someone passes away, there

17:05

might not be anything, or some cultures

17:07

believe in this idea of heaven.

17:10

And this look of astonishment just

17:12

came over my daughter's face. And

17:15

it was such an interesting moment

17:17

where, as I was

17:19

describing this concept of death, like there

17:21

was this sense of magic and

17:24

possibility that, in dealing with

17:26

the funerals for my wife's

17:28

father or stepfather, that

17:30

sense of possibility had all disappeared.

17:33

And so as I was writing

17:35

this story, I was trying to

17:37

figure out this notion

17:40

of death, instead of it being

17:43

the end of all things, having

17:45

this dramatic, even exaggerated

17:47

sense of possibility, magic

17:50

in the way that I saw in

17:53

my daughter's eyes, this sense that, well,

17:55

anything could happen then. And

17:57

so the story really started kind of unfolding.

18:00

of this game from

18:02

really based on my own experience of

18:04

trying to explain this thing that happens

18:06

to all of us. The

18:08

story is hilariously funny while

18:10

having this theme. And

18:13

I was reminded of course, like I

18:15

think probably most listeners will be, of

18:17

games that I played as a child.

18:20

And also the game Operation. I

18:23

mean that became so big. And I think

18:25

the idea of exploring the body, which

18:27

you're not really allowed to do, was

18:30

such a novel thing for kids of that era.

18:34

Well, and I feel like as we

18:36

get older, we tend to

18:38

think of death in one way,

18:40

kind of one tone, one note.

18:43

And to see it through my kids

18:45

eyes as this kind of strange, capacious,

18:50

like doorway into possibility,

18:52

they suddenly started bringing it into

18:54

their games. And whether it was

18:56

like resuscitating stuffed animals or like

18:59

suddenly like all of the Playmall

19:01

people had to be like buried

19:03

and they like had all died

19:06

mysteriously. And it was their way

19:08

through games of making sense of

19:10

these like real events that

19:13

had happened to them. And

19:15

I forgot that feeling. And

19:18

I feel like as a father, I am

19:20

constantly struggling between explaining

19:23

something and failing to explain

19:26

it properly. I always end

19:28

up being taught the lesson

19:30

by my kids. Yeah,

19:33

no, that was my experience too, as a parent,

19:36

without a doubt. And the

19:38

sort of very vivid names of things, Heddles,

19:40

I mean, just like killed me and was

19:42

so perfect. Have you had the Heddles, Jo?

19:46

I hope not. And I hope I never

19:48

do. And again, it's the

19:50

way that like a child's imagination takes

19:53

one concept and then uses it an

19:55

exponential way to go from zero to

19:57

five to like 25. that

20:00

kind of outlander sense of

20:03

escalation. As they're

20:05

really, you can see these

20:07

children in the story like they're trying to

20:09

almost like make a map or trace the

20:12

boundaries of what death is, what it isn't,

20:14

what's possible, how do we face

20:16

these things in our own

20:18

lives? And I think they end up doing a

20:21

much better job of it than I do in

20:23

my own life. But it's also similar

20:25

to me, as you describe it, to

20:27

the openness that a writer needs when

20:29

they're writing. Yes,

20:32

it's a sense of discovery, right? And

20:34

that's like terrifying. I think the older

20:36

you get to recognize, oh, I had

20:38

a certain way of thinking about

20:40

this and now I actually, it turns out

20:43

maybe I don't actually know the answers. You

20:46

have in your stories a sort

20:48

of sense of that something is ordinary and then suddenly

20:50

it isn't. Is that the way you see the world,

20:52

do you think? So therefore it goes into your

20:54

work? Well, there's a

20:57

lot of writers that I

20:59

admire from Kafka to Amy

21:01

Bender to George Saunders, Tony

21:04

Morrison, who employ some

21:06

otherworldly magical surrealist ideas

21:10

to help us tackle some questions that

21:12

deal with the ordinariness of life. But

21:16

I gotta be honest like Meg, over the

21:18

last say, I don't know, six, seven years,

21:21

it's not been difficult to

21:23

imagine something more outlandish magical,

21:27

strange. We have been hit with

21:29

a series of unprecedented moments. And

21:31

so like, I feel like it's

21:33

my job as a writer to

21:36

try and balance what feels

21:39

outlandish or exaggerated or mythological

21:42

or just simply strange with

21:44

these small moments of

21:47

change that all of us are forced to

21:49

confront. That

21:51

was my conversation with author Joe Minow.

21:54

Next, let's hear a piece from 20th

21:57

century Turkish poet and short story writer

21:59

Saeed Fayyid. His

22:02

collections include The Company and A

22:04

Useless Man, the latter of which

22:06

is currently available in translation from

22:08

archipelago books. This

22:10

piece about minor injuries and major

22:12

consequences is performed by Amir

22:14

Arison. While he's best

22:17

known for his long run on NBC

22:19

series The Blacklist, he's appeared in many

22:21

other notable TV projects, including The

22:23

Dropout and Romy. And

22:25

now Amir Arison brings us

22:27

the tough and tender story

22:29

The Silk Handkerchief by Saeed

22:31

Fayyig Abbasianik. The

22:42

Silk Handkerchief. Moonlight

22:47

shimmered across the silk factory's long

22:49

facade. Here

22:51

and there I could see people hurrying alongside it, but

22:54

there was nowhere I wished to go. I

22:57

was making my way out very slowly when

23:00

I heard the watchman call out to me, what are you off

23:02

to? I'm just

23:04

going for a stroll, I said. Don't

23:07

you want to see the acrobat? I

23:10

hesitated, so he went on. Everyone

23:12

is going. This is the first

23:14

time anyone like him has ever come to

23:16

Warsaw. I

23:19

am not interested, I said.

23:23

He begged and groveled until I agreed

23:25

to take his shift. For

23:28

a while I just sat there, I smoked a

23:30

cigarette, I sang an old folk

23:32

song, but soon I was

23:34

bored. I might as

23:36

well stretch my legs, I thought. So

23:39

I picked up the watchman's studded nightstick and went

23:41

off to do the rounds. I

23:43

had just passed the girl's workshop when I heard

23:45

a noise. Taking

23:48

out my flashlight, I made a sweep of the room. And

23:51

there, racing along the carpet of

23:53

light, were two naked feet. After

23:56

I had caught the thief, I took him to the watchman's room to

23:59

get a good look at in the lamp's yellow

24:01

glow. How

24:03

tiny he was. When I

24:05

squeezed his small hand in mine, I thought

24:07

it might break, but his

24:09

eyes, how they

24:11

flashed. I laughed

24:14

so hard I let go of his hand.

24:16

Then he lunged at me with a pocket

24:18

knife, slicing my pinky. So I

24:20

got a tight grip on the little devil and went through

24:22

his pockets, some contraband tobacco

24:24

and a few papers of the same

24:26

sort, and a handkerchief that

24:28

was almost clean. I

24:31

dabbed some of his tobacco on the wound, tore

24:33

a strip from the handkerchief and wrapped it around

24:35

my finger. With the remaining

24:37

tobacco, we rolled two fat cigarettes and then

24:39

sat down like two old friends and talked.

24:43

He was just 15, from which I

24:45

was to understand that he was new to this business.

24:47

He was just a boy. You know the

24:49

story. Someone had asked him for a

24:51

silk handkerchief, a girl he

24:53

loved, a girl he had his

24:56

eye on, the girl next

24:58

door. He

25:00

couldn't just go out and buy one. He had no money. So

25:03

after thinking the matter through, he decided

25:05

on this. That

25:08

is fine and good, I said, but

25:10

the workshops are on this side of the building.

25:13

What was it that took you to the other side? He

25:16

smiled. How could he have

25:18

known which side the workshops were on? We

25:21

lit up two of my village cigarettes. By now,

25:23

we were good friends. He

25:26

was Bursa born and raised. He had never

25:28

been to Istanbul. Only once in his life

25:30

had he ever been as far as Mudanya.

25:32

And oh, to see the look on his face

25:34

when he told me all this. As

25:37

a boy in Amir Sultan, I would often

25:39

go sledding on moonlit nights. And

25:41

this boy reminded me of the friends I had made

25:43

there. I could imagine his

25:45

skin going as dark as theirs in the summer.

25:49

As dark as the water in Gokh Dere

25:51

pools, we could hear bubbling in the distance.

25:54

As dark as the pits of summer

25:56

fruit. I

25:59

looked at him. closely. His

26:02

olive skin was as dark as a walnut

26:04

fresh from its green shell. His

26:07

teeth were as fine and white as

26:09

the flesh inside. In

26:12

summer and right through to the

26:14

end of walnut season, boys' hands smelled

26:16

only of peaches and plums in this

26:18

place, and their chests give off an

26:20

aroma of hazel leaves as they roamed

26:22

the streets half naked in their buttonless

26:24

striped shirts. Just

26:26

then, the watchman's clock struck twelve, the

26:29

acrobat show was nearly over. I

26:32

should get going, the boy said. I was

26:35

just regretting having him sent him on his

26:37

way without a silk handkerchief. When

26:40

I heard a commotion right outside the door

26:42

and the watchman came in muttering under his

26:44

breath, dragging the thief back in with him.

26:47

This time I held him by the ears while

26:49

the watchman whacked the soles of his feet

26:51

with a willow switch. Good

26:54

thing the boss wasn't there. I

26:56

swear he would have called the

26:58

police. Steeping at this age, he'd

27:00

have cried. Well, the

27:02

boy can smarten up in jail. He

27:06

looked scared by the time we were through with him, as

27:09

if at any moment he might start crying. But

27:12

he didn't shed a tear. His

27:15

lips didn't tremble and his eyebrows hardly

27:17

moved. There was only a

27:19

faint fluttering of eyelashes. When

27:23

we let him go, he took

27:25

off like a swallow, vanishing

27:27

as if he were soaring over a moonlit

27:29

cornfield. In

27:32

those days I slept in the storeroom on the

27:34

floor above the workshop, how beautiful that room was,

27:37

and never more so than on moonlit

27:39

nights. Just outside

27:42

my window was a mulberry tree. Moonlight

27:44

would come cascading down through its

27:46

leaves, throwing flecks of light across

27:48

the floor. Summer and

27:51

winter I left the window open. The wind was

27:53

never too rough or cold. I

27:55

had worked on a ferry boat and I knew the different

27:57

winds from their smells. the

28:00

poiras, the caraelles, and

28:03

the gun batiste. So

28:06

many winds swept over me as I lay on

28:08

that blanket, each one bringing its

28:11

own strange dreams. I'm

28:14

a light sleeper. It was just

28:17

before daybreak when I heard a noise outside. Someone

28:20

was in the tree, but I was too afraid to get

28:22

up or cry out. A shadow

28:24

appeared in the window. It

28:27

was the boy. Slowly

28:30

he dropped down into the room, and when

28:32

he passed me I shut my eyes. First

28:36

he went through my cupboard, then very

28:38

slowly he went through the stockpile. I

28:41

didn't say a word. The

28:43

truth is, even if

28:45

he'd made off with everything, I

28:48

could never have said a word in the face

28:50

of such boldness. In

28:53

the morning the boss would beat the truth out

28:55

of me. Take that, you dog, he'd say. He'd

28:58

tell me a dead man could have done a better

29:00

job, and then he'd fire me. See,

29:03

I knew all this, but still I didn't

29:06

say a word. He

29:08

slipped out through the window as quietly as he had come.

29:12

Then I heard a snap. I

29:15

rushed downstairs and found him lying in the

29:17

moonlight while the watchman and a few others

29:19

looked on. He

29:22

was dying. His

29:24

fist was clenched. When the

29:27

watchman pried it open, a silk handkerchief

29:29

shot up from his hand like water

29:31

from a spring. That's

29:36

right. That is what happens if

29:38

a handkerchief is pure silk. You

29:40

crumple it up as tight as you can, but

29:43

open your hand and it shoots

29:45

right up like water from

29:47

a spring. That

30:01

was Amir Arison with the

30:03

Silk handkerchief by Saeed Faik

30:05

Abasyanik, translated by Alexander Daw

30:07

and Maureen Frehley. And

30:10

my question, who is this

30:12

man, this nameless narrator, somehow stranded

30:14

between the gentle thief desperate to

30:16

please his love and the punitive

30:18

watchman dedicated to pleasing his boss?

30:22

The narrator isn't responsible for the

30:24

infraction or the punitive response, but

30:26

in his attempt to forgive the

30:28

thief's initial infraction, he sets the

30:30

stage for something much scarier. When

30:33

we return, a story by the

30:36

great Margaret Atwood about living your

30:38

best life while remaining dimly aware

30:40

of a possible bear attack. I'm

30:43

Meg Wallitzer. You're listening to Selected

30:45

Shorts, recorded live in performance at

30:47

Symphony Space in New York City

30:49

and at other venues nationwide. Do

31:01

you hear that? It's an

31:03

audience preparing to see live theater at

31:05

Symphony Space in New York. One

31:07

of my favorite sounds. Why?

31:09

It means anticipation.

31:12

It means no turning back.

31:15

It means that for the next two

31:17

hours, I get to live alongside that

31:19

audience in a world of literature brought

31:21

to life right in front of me.

31:24

I'm Matthew Love, a writer and producer at

31:26

Selected Shorts. While my

31:29

job includes reading stories and creating

31:31

scripts for our hosts, the

31:33

reason I love my job involves standing

31:35

in the wings to hear a pin

31:37

drop while someone like Ellen Boorstin is

31:40

reading a Margaret Atwood piece. Stories,

31:44

performance, and community are the lifeblood

31:46

of Selected Shorts. If you feel

31:48

the same, please consider going to

31:50

selectedshorts.org and donating to the show.

32:02

Welcome back. This is Selected

32:04

Shorts, where our greatest actors transport

32:07

us through the magic of fiction,

32:09

one short story at a time. I'm

32:11

Meg Wallitzer. On

32:14

today's show, we're listening to stories about

32:16

how we prepare for things beyond our

32:18

control. And while I can't

32:20

with confidence tell you that it will help

32:22

you during a zombie attack, you never know.

32:26

Our final story is by Margaret Atwood.

32:28

For those of us who love speculative fiction or

32:31

acutely perceptive contemporary fiction in

32:33

general, Atwood needs no

32:36

introduction. She is the author

32:38

of touchstones, including The Handmaid's Tale and

32:40

its follow-up The Testaments, as

32:42

well as the Mad Adam trilogy and much

32:44

more. In recent years,

32:46

her fiction has often found her contemplating

32:49

the world in a naturalistic way. Many

32:51

of the stories in her recent collection,

32:53

her old babes in the wood, settle

32:56

down with Nell and Tig, characters who

32:58

feel like fictional stand-ins for Atwood and

33:00

her late husband. This

33:02

piece, First Aid, is a Nell

33:04

and Tig story about accidents and

33:06

how this intrepid couple confronts the

33:09

unexpected. Here's Margaret Atwood

33:11

introducing the story at the live

33:13

event at Symphony Space dedicated to the

33:15

collection. Yes,

33:18

Graham and I really did take

33:20

a first aid course, much as

33:23

described. If you've run into medical

33:26

difficulties, I

33:28

really, really know

33:31

how to dial 911.

33:33

Yes, clear a space around

33:39

them. Give them room to breathe. Run

33:41

away very fast. That

33:45

was Margaret Atwood speaking from the stage at

33:47

Symphony Space. First Aid is

33:50

read by Maggie Siff, an actor with

33:52

an impressive resume that includes long runs

33:54

in series including Mad Men and Billions.

34:10

First Aid. Nell

34:14

came home one day just before dinner time and

34:16

found the front door open. The

34:19

car was gone. There

34:21

was a trail of blood splotches

34:23

on the steps. And

34:26

once she was inside the house, she followed it

34:28

along the hall carpet and into the kitchen. There

34:30

was a knife on the cutting board, one of

34:33

Tig's favorites. Japanese steel, very

34:35

sharp, and beside it a

34:37

blood-stained carrot. One

34:40

end severed. Their daughter, nine

34:42

at the time, was nowhere to be found. What

34:45

were the possible scenarios? Desperados

34:48

had broken in. Tig had

34:50

tried to defend himself against them using the

34:52

knife, though how to explain the carrot, and

34:56

had been wounded. The desperados had made off

34:58

with him, their daughter, and their car. Nell

35:01

should call the police. Or

35:03

else Tig had

35:05

been cooking, had sliced himself with the knife, had

35:08

judged that he needed stitches, and had driven himself

35:10

to the hospital, taking their daughter with him to

35:12

avoid leaving her by herself. This

35:14

was more likely. He must

35:16

have been in too much of a hurry to leave a note. Nell

35:19

got out the bottle of carpet cleaner and sprayed

35:21

the blood spots. They would be much harder to

35:24

get out once they dried. Then

35:26

she wiped the blood off the kitchen floor and, after

35:28

a pause, off the carrot. It

35:31

was a perfectly good carrot. No need for it to go to waste.

35:35

Time passed. Suspense built. She

35:38

was on the point of phoning all the hospitals

35:40

in the vicinity to see if Tig was there

35:43

when he came back. Hand

35:45

bandaged. He was in a jovial

35:47

mood, as was their daughter. What

35:50

an adventure they'd had. The

35:52

blood was just pouring out, they'd

35:54

reported. The tea towel Tig had

35:57

used for wrapping the cut had been soaked, yes?

36:00

driving had been a challenge, said Tig,

36:02

he didn't say dangerous. But

36:04

who could wait for a taxi? And

36:06

he'd managed all right with basically just one

36:08

hand, since he'd needed to keep the other one

36:10

raised. And the blood was trickling

36:12

off his elbow, and they'd sewn him up quickly at

36:14

the hospital because he was dripping all over

36:17

everything, and anyway, here they

36:19

were. Luckily, not an artery, or

36:21

it would have been a different story. It

36:23

was, indeed, a different

36:26

story, when Tig told it a little later to

36:28

know. His bravado had been

36:30

in act. He hadn't wanted to

36:32

frighten their daughter, and he'd been worried

36:34

that he would pass out if the blood loss got

36:37

out of control, and then what? I

36:40

need a drink, said Tig. So

36:43

do I, said Nell. We can have scrambled eggs. Whatever

36:46

Tig had been planning to do with the carrot was no

36:48

longer on the agenda. The

36:51

tea towel had been brought back in a

36:53

plastic bag. It was bright red, but beginning

36:55

to brown at the edges. Nell

36:57

put it to soak in cold water, which was

36:59

the best way to deal with blood-stained fabrics.

37:03

But what would I have done if I'd been there? She

37:06

wondered. Not a

37:08

band-aid, insufficient. A tourniquet. She'd

37:11

had perfunctory instruction in those at Girl Guides. They'd

37:14

done wrist sprains, too. Minor

37:17

emergencies were her domain, but

37:19

not major ones. Major ones

37:21

were Tig's. That

37:24

was some time ago. Early

37:26

autumn, as she recalls, a year in the later

37:28

1980s, there were

37:30

personal computers, then, of a

37:33

lumbering kind. And

37:35

printers, the paper for them, came with the

37:37

pages joined together at top and bottom and

37:39

had holes along the sides and perforated strips

37:41

that you had to tear off. No

37:43

cell phones, though, which was why Nell hadn't been

37:46

able to text or call Tig and ask him

37:48

where he was and also what had caused the

37:50

blood. How

37:52

much waiting we used to do, she thinks. Waiting

37:55

without knowing. So

37:58

many blanks we couldn't fill in. mysteries,

38:00

so little information.

38:05

Now it's the first decade of the 21st century. Space

38:08

time is denser. It's crowded.

38:10

You can barely move because the

38:12

air is so packed with this and that.

38:14

You can't get away from people. They're in

38:16

touch. They're touching. They're only in touch away.

38:20

Was that better or worse? She

38:24

switches her attention to the room the two

38:26

of them are in right at this moment.

38:30

It's a nondescript high rise on Bloor

38:32

Street near the Viaduct. She

38:35

and Tig are sitting in chairs that are

38:37

something like schoolroom chairs. There is, in fact,

38:39

a whiteboard at the front, and a man

38:41

called Mr. Foot is talking. The

38:44

people in the other chairs who are also listening to

38:46

Mr. Foot are at least 30

38:48

years younger than Tig and Mel, some of them

38:50

40 years younger, just kids. If

38:54

it's a motorcycle crash, says Mr. Foot.

38:57

You don't want to take off the helmet, do you? Because

39:00

you don't know what's going to be in there, eh? He

39:03

moves his hand in front of him circularly as

39:05

if cleaning a window. Good

39:08

point, he thinks, Nell. She imagines a glass

39:10

of helmet smeared inside a face that is no

39:12

longer a face, a face of moor. Mr.

39:16

Foot has a talent for conjuring up

39:18

such images. He has a graphic way

39:20

of speaking being from Newfoundland. He

39:23

doesn't tiptoe around. He's built

39:26

on a square plan, wide

39:28

torso, thick legs, a short distance

39:30

between ear and shoulders. It's a

39:32

banged shape with a low center

39:35

of gravity. Mr.

39:37

Foot would not be easy to upend.

39:40

Nell expects that's been tried in

39:42

bars. He looks as if

39:44

he'd know his way around a bar fight, but also as

39:46

if he wouldn't get into any of those he couldn't win.

39:49

If pushed too hard, he'd throw the challenger

39:51

through a window calmly. He needs to keep

39:53

calm. He's already set twice. Then

39:56

check to make sure there's no bones broken. If

39:59

there were, he'd throw the challenger. He'd splint them and

40:01

treat the victim for cuts and abrasions. Mr.

40:03

Foote is an all-in-one package. In

40:06

fact, he's a paramedic, but that doesn't come out until

40:08

later in the day. He's

40:11

carrying a black leather binder and wearing

40:13

a long-sleeved zip-fronted sweatshirt with St. John's

40:15

Ambulance logo on it, as if he's

40:17

a team coach, which in a way

40:19

he is. He's teaching them

40:21

first aid. At the end

40:23

of the day, there will be a test and they will

40:26

each get a certificate. All of them

40:28

are in this room because they need this

40:30

certificate. Their companies have sent them.

40:32

Nell and Tig are the same. Thanks

40:35

to a family connection of Tig's, they're

40:38

giving talks on a nature tour

40:40

cruise ship. Birds for him, butterflies

40:42

for her, they're hobbies. So

40:45

they are technically staff, and staff on

40:47

this ship have to get the certificate.

40:49

It's mandatory. Their ship

40:51

contact has told them. What

40:54

hasn't been said is that

40:56

the majority of the passengers, the

40:58

guests, the clientele, will

41:00

not be young, to

41:03

put it mildly. Some

41:05

of them will be older than

41:07

Nell and Tig, truly ancient.

41:10

Such people can be expected to

41:13

topple over at any minute, and

41:16

then it will be certificates to the

41:18

rescue. Nell

41:21

and Tig are unlikely to be doing any

41:23

actual rescuing. Younger people will leap in. Nell's

41:25

counting on that. In a pinch,

41:27

Nell will dither and claim she's forgotten what

41:29

to do, which will be true. What

41:33

will Tig do? He will say, stand

41:35

back in the room, something like that. It's

41:38

known. It's

41:41

been rumored that these ships have

41:43

extra freezers in them just in case.

41:48

She will picture the distress of a

41:50

server who opens the wrong freezer by

41:52

mistake to be

41:54

confronted by the appalled, congealed stare of some

41:56

unlucky passenger for whom the certificate has not

41:58

proved the right way. sufficient. Mr.

42:03

Foote stands in the front of the room

42:05

running his gaze over today's crop of students.

42:08

His expression is possibly neutral

42:10

or faintly amused. Bunch

42:13

of know-nothing softies, he's

42:15

most likely thinking, city

42:18

people. There's what to do and

42:20

there's what not to do, he says. I'll be telling

42:22

you both. First, you

42:25

don't go screaming around like a headless chicken,

42:28

even if buddies minus his own head. But

42:31

headless chickens can't scream, Nell thinks,

42:34

or she assumes they can't, but she takes the

42:36

meaning. Keep your head in an emergency, they say.

42:38

Mr. Foote would ask if you can. He would

42:42

definitely want them to keep their heads.

42:45

You can fix a lot of things, Mr. Foote is

42:47

saying, but not if there's no head. That's one thing

42:49

I can't teach you. It's

42:52

a joke, Nell guesses, but Mr. Foote

42:54

does not signal jokes. He is deadpan.

42:58

Say you're in a restaurant. Mr. Foote,

43:00

having dealt with motorcycle crashes, has moved

43:02

on to asphyxiation. And

43:05

Buddy starts choking. The

43:07

question you need to ask is, can they talk? Ask

43:10

them if they can talk and then you can hit

43:12

them on the back. If they say yes in words,

43:14

it's not too bad because they can still breathe, eh?

43:18

But with slightly, a lot of people are embarrassed.

43:20

They stand up and what do they do? They

43:22

go to the washroom because they don't want to

43:24

be making a fuss, call in detention, but you've

43:26

got to go in there with them. You've

43:28

got to follow them because they can die

43:31

right on the floor before you even notice their veins. He

43:36

gives a meaningful nod. He's known instances.

43:39

The nod says he's been there. He's

43:41

seen it happen, but he

43:43

got there too late. Mr.

43:45

Foote knows his stuff, Nell thinks. The

43:48

exact same thing almost happened to her.

43:50

The choking, the going to the

43:52

washroom, the not wanting to make a fuss.

43:55

Embarrassment can be lethal, she sees now. Mr.

43:57

Foote has nailed it. Then

44:00

you got to bend them forward, Mr. Foote

44:03

continues. Five whacks on

44:05

the back. The glob

44:07

of meat or the dumpling or the fishbone or whatever can

44:09

shoot out of them right then and there. But if not,

44:11

you got to do the Heimlich maneuver. Thing

44:14

is, if they can't talk, they can't exactly give

44:16

you permission, plus they might be turning blue and

44:18

passing out, you just got to do it. Maybe

44:21

you break a rib, but at least they'll be alive, eh?

44:24

He grins a little, or now assumes it's

44:26

a grin, a sort of mouth twitch.

44:28

That's the end game, eh? Alive. They

44:33

run through the Heimlich maneuver and the right way of hitting

44:36

someone on the back. According

44:38

to Mr. Foote, the combination of these

44:40

two things would almost always work, but

44:42

you had to get in there soon

44:44

enough. And first aid timing is everything.

44:47

That's why it's called first aid. It's not

44:49

the effing tax department, excuse my French. They

44:51

can take all day, but you got

44:53

maybe four minutes. Now

44:56

he says they will have a coffee break, and after that

44:58

they will do drowning and mouth to

45:00

mouth, followed by hypothermia and after lunch, heart

45:02

attacks and defibrillators. It's

45:04

a lot for one day. Drowning

45:08

is fairly simple. First

45:11

you need to get the water out. It'll pour out

45:13

if you let gravity be your friend, eh? Turn

45:15

them on the side, empty them out fast. Mr.

45:18

Foote has dealt with numerous drownings. He's lived

45:20

near water all his life. Turn

45:23

them on their backs to clear the airways, check for breathing,

45:25

check for pulse, make sure someone calls 911. If

45:28

there's no breathing, you

45:31

need to do the mouth to mouth. Now,

45:33

this gadget I'm showing you, it's a CPR barrier guard.

45:35

It's for the mouth to mouth because sometimes they'll throw

45:37

up like, and you don't need to have that in

45:40

your own mouth. Anyway,

45:42

there's the germs, eh? You

45:44

should carry one of these on you at all times.

45:47

Mr. Foote has a supply of them. They

45:50

can be purchased at the end of the day. Nell

45:53

makes a mental note to get one. How

45:56

has she managed to live without a mouth barrier

45:58

guard until now? In

46:06

order to practice the mouth to mouth, the

46:08

room is divided into pairs. Each

46:10

pair is given a red plastic torso with

46:12

a bald white tip back head and

46:15

a yoga mat for kneeling on while they bring their

46:17

shared torso back to life. Pinch

46:19

the nose shut, cover the mouth with

46:21

yours, give five rescue breaths letting the

46:24

chest rise each time, then perform five

46:26

chest compressions. Repeat. Meanwhile,

46:28

the other person calls 911 after which

46:30

they take over the chest compressions. These

46:33

can get tiring. It's hard on the wrists. Mr.

46:36

Foote stalks the room, checking

46:38

everyone's technique. You're getting there, he

46:40

says. Tig

46:42

says, now that he's down on the mat, Nell

46:45

will have to call 911 to

46:47

get someone to lift him back up considering the state

46:49

of his knees. Nell

46:51

giggles into the plastic mouth, sabotaging

46:53

her rescue breath. I just

46:56

hope nobody drowns on our watch, she

46:58

says, because they'll probably stay drowned. Tig

47:02

says he understands it's a relatively painless way

47:04

to go. You are said to hear bells.

47:08

When they've all brought their plastic torsos back

47:10

to life, they move on

47:12

to hypothermia and shock. Both

47:14

involve blankets. Mr. Foote tells an amazing

47:16

story about a man on a ski

47:18

trip who went out the door of

47:20

a cabin to take a leak without

47:23

a flashlight through deep snow and fell

47:25

into a mellwelt around the base of

47:27

a tree and couldn't get out, wasn't

47:29

found until morning. He was

47:31

stiff as a board and cold as a

47:33

mackerel, said Mr. Foote. Not a breath in

47:35

him. And as for his heart, it was

47:37

silent as the tomb. But

47:40

someone else in that cabin

47:42

had taken the CPR course and

47:44

they worked on the possibly dead

47:46

person for six hours, six hours,

47:49

and brought him back to life. You

47:52

keep going. You don't

47:54

give up, says Mr. Foote, because

47:56

you never know. They

48:01

break for lunch. Now in

48:03

Tig, find a little Italian restaurant tucked into

48:05

one of the soulless high-rise buildings and order

48:07

a glass of red wine each and eat

48:09

quite a good pizza. Now

48:11

says she's going to have a wallet card made

48:13

that says, in case of accident, call Mr. Foote.

48:19

And Tig says they should run Mr. Foote for

48:22

Prime Minister. He could

48:24

give the whole country mouth-to-mouth. He

48:26

thinks Mr. Foote has been in the Navy. Now

48:28

says, no, he's a spy. Tig

48:30

says maybe he's been a pirate. And now

48:32

says, no, he's definitely an alien from

48:34

outer space. And being a

48:36

first aid instructor called Mr. Foote is

48:38

a perfect friend. They're

48:41

both feeling silly and

48:43

also incompetent. Now

48:46

is sure that if confronted with any of

48:48

these emergencies, the drowning person, the one in

48:50

shock, the frozen one, she will panic. And

48:53

everything Mr. Foote has taught them will go right out

48:55

of her head. I might

48:57

do snake bites though, she says. I learned

49:00

a little about that in Girl Guides. I

49:03

don't think Mr. Foote does snake bites, says Tig.

49:06

Bet he does, but it's only in private.

49:08

It's niche. The

49:12

afternoon is exciting.

49:15

Real defibrillators are handed out, and

49:17

their paddles are applied with precision

49:19

to the red plastic torsos. Everyone

49:22

gets a turn. Mr.

49:24

Foote tells them how to avoid

49:27

defibrillating themselves by accident. Your

49:30

heart could get confused and decide to stink.

49:33

Now and then there's the Tig that

49:35

death by self-defibrillation would be very undignified.

49:39

Not as undignified as sticking a fork in

49:41

a wall socket, Tig murmurs back. True,

49:44

no thinks you had to beware of that

49:46

with small children. Then

49:49

comes the test. Mr.

49:51

Foote ensures they all pass. He

49:53

broadly hints at the answers and instructs them

49:55

to raise their hands if they don't understand

49:57

a question. They will receive their certificates

50:00

in the mail, he says, clothing his

50:02

black leather binder with relief, Nell expects,

50:05

one more batch of no-hopers off his hands,

50:08

and pray to God none of them

50:10

is ever involved in a real emergency. Nell

50:13

purchases one of the CPR mouth barrier

50:16

guards. She wants to

50:18

tell Mr. Foote that she has enjoyed his

50:20

stories. But that might

50:22

sound frivolous, as if this was merely entertainment,

50:25

as if she doesn't take him seriously. He

50:27

might be insulted. So

50:30

she says a simple thank you, and he nods.

50:35

Once she and Tig are home, once

50:37

it's the next day, or possibly the day after

50:39

that, she totals up

50:42

all the life-threatening experiences the two of

50:44

them have had, or experiences

50:46

she's feared might have been

50:48

life-threatening. How prepared

50:50

had she been for any of them? The

50:54

time the metal chimneys set fire to the inside

50:56

of the roof, and Tig climbed

50:58

up into the crawlspace and clouds of choking

51:00

smoke and poured buckets of water on the

51:02

fire. What if he'd blacked out in there

51:04

from smoke inhalation? After

51:07

that incident, Tig bought a fire blanket and every

51:09

floor of any house they were living in had

51:11

to have a fire extinguisher. He

51:14

worried about hotels, too, and always checked to

51:16

make sure he knew where the stairs were just

51:18

in case. Also the windows, did they

51:20

open? Increasingly, windows and hotels

51:22

were sealed shut, but you could break the

51:24

glass maybe by wrapping your arm in a

51:26

towel first. That would be no

51:28

use if the window was too high up. The

51:32

time Tig set off all the fire

51:34

alarms in a 30-story hotel by smoking

51:36

a cigar in the hall underneath one

51:38

of the sensors. And

51:41

the two of them climbed down all the flights of

51:43

stairs and exited through a lobby filled with firemen,

51:46

pretending they hadn't done it. That

51:49

wasn't even life-threatening. It wasn't even very embarrassing

51:51

since they hadn't gotten caught. The

51:54

time a lumber truck ahead of them on the

51:57

highway lost its load. Wooden

51:59

boards peeled. off flying through the air

52:01

and bouncing all over the asphalt, narrowly missing them.

52:03

On top of that, it was a blizzard. Knowing

52:06

CPR wouldn't have helped. The

52:09

time they were canoeing on one of

52:11

the Great Lakes and their canoe was

52:13

tipped by a freak wave from a

52:15

passing ocean steamer, not life threatening. They

52:18

were close to shore. The water was warm. They

52:21

got wet. That was all. The

52:24

time Tig came roaring up

52:26

on the ATV towing a trailer full of

52:29

wood he'd been cutting with his chainsaw, blood

52:31

pouring down his face from a scalp wound

52:33

he didn't know he had. That wasn't

52:36

life threatening. He hadn't even noticed. There's

52:39

blood pouring down his face, Nell said to the

52:41

children as if they couldn't see. There's

52:44

always blood pouring down his face. One

52:47

of them replied with a shrug. As

52:49

far as they were concerned, he was indestructible.

52:52

I must have a lot of blood, Tig said,

52:54

grinning away. What did he skin

52:56

his head on? Something

52:59

unimportant. Next minute

53:01

he was unloading the wood. The minute after that

53:03

he was splitting it. It was already dry. He'd

53:05

been harvesting dead trees. Then bang, he was filling

53:07

up the wood box. In

53:09

those days they lived in fast forward. Hikes

53:13

they used to take before they were cell phones. They

53:16

hadn't considered them risky. Had they even packed a

53:18

first aid kit? Maybe

53:21

some moleskin for blisters, antibiotic

53:23

ointments, a couple of painkillers.

53:26

What would have happened if one of them had sprained

53:29

an ankle, broken a leg? Had

53:31

they even told anyone where

53:33

they were going? One autumn,

53:35

for instance, in a national park, rough

53:38

weather, early snow and ice, marching

53:40

through the yellow and gold beach forest

53:42

with their enormous pack sacks, poking

53:45

iced over ponds with their hiking poles,

53:48

consulting trail maps and having differences of

53:50

opinion about them, eating squares

53:52

of chocolate than pausing for lunches, parking

53:55

themselves on logs, devouring mini cheeses,

53:57

hard boiled eggs, nuts and crackers.

54:00

in a flask. Tig

54:03

was already having trouble with his knees, but he went on

54:05

the hikes anyway. He tied his

54:07

knees up with bandanas, one above, one below.

54:10

Why are you still walking? a doctor

54:12

asked him. Basically,

54:14

you don't have a knee. That

54:17

was much later. That

54:19

year, there was an urban legend about

54:21

hiker danger making the rounds to the

54:24

effect that male moose in season, the

54:26

fall season, the one they were in,

54:28

were sexually attracted to Volkswagen

54:30

Beatles. They'd

54:34

taken to leaping off cliffs on top

54:37

of them, squashing both car and driver.

54:40

Now and Tig thought this was BS, but

54:42

they'd edit probably because strange things could happen.

54:46

They set up their tent in a

54:48

likely spot, made supper with their whisper

54:50

light single element gas burner, slung their

54:53

food packs into a tree at some

54:55

distance in case of bears, and crawled

54:57

into their gellid sleeping bags. Now

55:00

lay awake, reflecting on the fact

55:02

that their dome-shaped tent strongly resembled

55:04

the Volkswagen Beatles. Would

55:07

a male moose come along in the middle of the night and jump

55:09

on top of them? And once

55:12

it had discovered its mistake, would it

55:14

become enraged? Male moose

55:16

were notorious for becoming enraged in mating

55:18

season. They could be a serious hazard.

55:23

In the clear light of morning, the

55:25

moose-squashing possibility seemed remote, not

55:27

a life-threatening experience, therefore, except in

55:29

Nell's head. The

55:31

next year, a couple taking the

55:34

exact same trail they'd been on had been

55:36

killed in their tent by a bear and

55:38

partly eaten. Tig

55:40

liked to think of this as a

55:42

narrow escape. He took to reading

55:44

out loud to Nell at night from a book

55:46

called Bear Attacks. There

55:49

were two kinds of attacking bears, it

55:51

claimed, bears who were hungry, and

55:54

mother bears protecting their young. The

55:56

way you should react was different for each, but

55:58

there was no immediate mess. for telling

56:00

the difference. When to play

56:03

dead, when to ease away sideways,

56:05

when to fight back, and with

56:07

what kind of bear, black or grizzly?

56:11

The instructions were complex. I'm

56:14

not sure we should be reading about this

56:16

just before going to sleep, says Nell. They'd

56:19

come to a story about a woman who got

56:21

her arm chewed off, though she'd finally managed to

56:23

deter the bear by hitting it on the nose.

56:26

She must have had nerves of steel, said

56:29

Tig. She must have been in shock, said

56:31

Nell. It can give you superhuman

56:33

powers. She survived anyway,

56:35

said Tig. Just barely, said

56:37

Nell. No pun intended. Did

56:42

any of this stop them from going

56:44

on more of their under-equipped hikes? It

56:48

did not. Tig bought some bear spray,

56:50

however. Most of the time, they remembered to pack

56:52

it. Revisiting

56:55

all of this because

56:57

revisiting sets in after a time,

57:00

after many times. Nell

57:02

is now wondering, would

57:05

the instructions of Mr. Foote have made

57:07

any difference in these situations if Push

57:09

had come to shove? Maybe

57:12

with the chimney fire. If Nell

57:14

had been able to haul an unconscious Tig out

57:16

of the crawl space, she could have given him

57:18

some rescue breaths while the house was burning down.

57:21

But eaten by a bear or squashed by a

57:23

moose? No salvation there.

57:27

Mr. Foote was right. No one

57:29

can guess. No one knows

57:31

the final outcome. The why is

57:33

it called an outcome? No

57:36

one comes out eventually. We

57:39

aren't going to make it out of here alive, Tig

57:42

used to joke, although it wasn't

57:44

one. And

57:46

if you did guess, if you

57:48

could foresee, would

57:50

it be better? No.

57:54

You'd live in grief all the time. You'd

57:56

be mourning things that hadn't happened yet. Better

58:00

to preserve the illusion of safety. Better

58:03

to improvise. Better

58:05

to march along through the golden autumn

58:07

woods, not very well prepared, poking

58:10

icy ponds with your hiking pole,

58:12

snacking on chocolate, sitting on

58:15

frozen logs, peeling hard-boiled eggs

58:17

with cold fingers as the early snow

58:19

sifts down and the day darkens. No

58:22

one knows where you are. Had

58:25

they really been that careless? That

58:28

oblivious? They

58:30

had. Obliviousness

58:33

had served them well. That

58:51

was Maggie Siff performing First Aid

58:54

by Margaret Atwood. And

58:56

here's Margaret Atwood's reaction to the reading

58:58

from the stage. Thank

59:01

you very much, Maggie. That was

59:03

wonderful. Even

59:06

I was waiting to see what was going to happen. Maybe

59:12

I should have warned you about the blood.

59:15

Yes, there are always squeamish people out there. My

59:18

old high school gym

59:20

teacher, who also taught health to

59:23

the grade-niners, is to

59:25

spell blood, B-L-O-O-D, because

59:28

she thought we were too frail and

59:31

delicate to hear the actual

59:33

word. That

59:39

was Margaret Atwood at Symphony Space talking

59:41

about her story, First Aid. I

59:44

think a good philosophy regarding unexpected scares

59:47

is it's fine to think about these

59:49

possibilities and to

59:51

learn from time to time, but more importantly, live your life. The

59:55

naturalistic, matter-of-fact style of writing that's in

59:57

this story is different from, say, the

59:59

book. the fierce, heightened parable but not

1:00:01

of the Handmaid's Tale. Still,

1:00:04

the assured sensibility is there in all

1:00:06

the work, regardless of its subject. And

1:00:10

as for being prepared, it's one thing

1:00:12

to be able to manage the possibilities

1:00:14

of someone suddenly needing mouth-to-mouth, and

1:00:17

quite another to manage the possibilities

1:00:19

of life in Gilead. Women,

1:00:21

there is not enough preparation on Earth

1:00:23

for that. Okay,

1:00:26

so the stories in this hour didn't teach

1:00:28

you how to make a tourniquet, nor did

1:00:30

they help you refresh your CPR technique. But

1:00:33

there's something weirdly comforting about

1:00:35

hearing even fictional characters prepare

1:00:38

for and sometimes face their

1:00:40

scariest moments. I mean,

1:00:42

if things go wrong, we learn from their

1:00:44

mistakes. And if they rise to

1:00:46

the occasion, well, we can too. I'm

1:00:49

Meg Wallitzer. Thanks for joining me for

1:00:51

Selected Shorts. Selected

1:01:02

Shorts is produced by Jennifer Brennan,

1:01:05

Jenny Falcon, and Sarah Montague. Her

1:01:07

team includes Matthew Love, Drew

1:01:09

Richardson, Mary Shimpkin, Vivienne Woodward,

1:01:11

and Madeline Roblesky. The

1:01:14

readings were recorded by Miles B.

1:01:16

Smith. Our mix engineer for this

1:01:18

episode was Jennifer Knulson. Our theme

1:01:20

music is David Peterson's That's the

1:01:22

Deal, performed by the Dierdorf Peterson

1:01:25

Group. Selected Shorts is supported by

1:01:27

the Dungannon Foundation. This program is also made possible

1:01:29

with public funds from the New York State Council

1:01:31

on the Arts, with the support

1:01:33

of Governor Kathy Hochul and the

1:01:35

New York State Legislature. Selected Shorts

1:01:38

is suggested to distribute. you