0:00

You know what's better than discipline,

0:02

hard work and dedication? Having

0:04

fun, enjoying yourself and still getting everything

0:07

that you want in life. I remember

0:09

back when I used to believe that

0:11

everything that I wanted was far out

0:14

of reach, that it was going to

0:16

take so much effort and energy

0:18

and that I didn't have the capacity and that

0:20

I had to force myself and

0:22

go despite myself, overcome myself

0:25

in order to achieve all

0:27

my goals. In reality,

0:29

it didn't have to be that way.

0:32

Back when I was obese and

0:34

wanted to lose weight, I tried

0:36

every different workout routine, every diet

0:38

that I could find, and

0:40

somehow I just couldn't stay consistent and I couldn't

0:43

get the results that I wanted. Then I got

0:45

into a couple of sports that I really enjoyed

0:47

and all of a sudden I lost 65 pounds,

0:49

like 30 kilos, and

0:52

it was almost effortless. In

0:54

my business, when I was just starting out

0:57

over 10 years ago, I thought, okay, I

0:59

got a cold call and do all this

1:01

weird marketing stuff that I don't understand and

1:03

worked really hard on it and nothing came

1:06

to fruition. And then I just started making

1:08

content and doing stuff that I actually enjoyed

1:10

doing and I started attracting all the clients

1:12

that I could ever want. So

1:15

it's funny how you think it has

1:17

to be difficult. You think you have

1:19

to take a path that's really

1:22

going to force you to

1:24

work hard and focus when

1:26

in reality, to really achieve

1:29

great success, it doesn't necessarily

1:31

need you to be so

1:34

hard on yourself. You don't have

1:36

to use discipline all the time.

1:38

You don't have to apply this

1:40

pressure and stress and life should

1:42

be fun and enjoyable. Think

1:45

about it. You've got such a limited amount

1:47

of time. So even if you put

1:49

all that hard work in all that time and

1:51

you achieve the result that you wanted, well,

1:54

is it worth it? I mean, yeah, you got

1:56

the thing. Yeah, you're there. But are you really

1:58

going to be happy? It's the journey

2:01

there that counts, right? Because you're going to

2:03

spend most of your time working towards your

2:05

goal, not actually having achieved it. And then

2:07

once you do, you're going to have a

2:09

new goal. And it's not going to be

2:11

more hard work, more you, you know, having

2:13

to force yourself to perform. My

2:15

big question was why? Why

2:18

do we do things this way? We're

2:20

just taught that that's how it

2:22

is. And I don't know,

2:24

we don't question it, right? It's just

2:26

normal. It's normal to not be happy.

2:28

It's normal to not enjoy yourself. It's

2:30

normal to be miserable and to have

2:32

to force yourself to perform. And

2:34

if you don't, then you'll be a loser, right?

2:37

No, it's wrong. And

2:39

time after time, with hundreds and hundreds of

2:41

clients that I've worked with, in my own

2:43

life and family and friends that have helped,

2:46

we've seen this pattern where you're destructive

2:48

towards yourself because you criticize yourself, because

2:51

you feel guilty that you're not living

2:53

up to your potential. But the

2:55

reason it's not working isn't because you're

2:58

some flawed human being or your psychology

3:00

is broken. It's your approach and your

3:02

strategy. And of course, we have to

3:05

do the deep work to heal ourselves

3:07

in order to feel worthy, in order

3:09

to feel like we're good enough, because

3:12

otherwise, no wonder we self sabotage. However,

3:16

we also have to look at how

3:18

are we thinking about our own reality?

3:20

Are you putting yourself in a prison

3:23

mentally holding yourself hostage to perform

3:25

in order to get something that

3:27

maybe you don't even really want?

3:29

Whether that's doing something to win

3:31

people's approval, or you're doing it

3:33

because you think you're supposed to

3:35

or you should, what's driving

3:37

this behavior? What's behind it? What's

3:39

your why? And if you have

3:41

a good why, and you

3:44

have a journey that you're on that you

3:46

actually enjoy, it actually

3:48

is not that hard. It's not difficult.

3:51

It's not really that much of

3:53

a strain to you anymore. And

3:55

now you can breathe easier. You can

3:58

relax. You start getting better ideas. in

4:00

your head, you start thinking more clearly,

4:02

you see patterns that you didn't spot

4:05

before because you were so tense. When

4:08

you do things in a way

4:10

that you enjoy, it makes it

4:12

easy to work hard. And

4:14

when it's easy to work hard, you do it

4:17

a lot because you like doing

4:19

it. So you do more and more

4:21

and you build this compound effect of

4:23

momentum. And then you start to feel

4:26

good about yourself because your self-esteem is

4:28

improved by seeing your work rate go

4:30

up and your enjoyment level of your

4:32

work that you're putting in. Do you

4:35

see what's happening here? We go

4:37

from having to go to the gym

4:39

to taking up, I don't

4:42

know, a martial art or maybe playing floor

4:44

ball like what I do. Or maybe you

4:46

like a different sport or something else that's

4:48

really fun to you. Maybe you just want

4:51

to go roller skating all the time. I

4:54

don't know. Whatever you like, whatever you enjoy,

4:56

make that the thing that leads you to

4:58

your goal. Find the way to make it

5:00

fun. And now all of a sudden, work

5:03

becomes easier, exercise and health and diet

5:05

becomes easier. Relationships are supposed to become

5:08

easier too. If you're surrounded by people

5:10

that always drain you that you feel

5:12

like you have to put on a

5:14

show for or to put

5:17

a mask on in order for people to

5:19

like you and to think you're cool. Well,

5:23

drop them. Find new people. Find

5:25

people who genuinely connect with the

5:27

real youth. Make an effort. Start

5:29

going to networking events. Start going to

5:31

all kinds of different events around

5:33

your interests in order to build

5:35

a group of friends that

5:37

are actually like minded that you

5:39

genuinely click with. In your intimate

5:42

relationships as well, it's really important

5:44

that you're with somebody that you

5:46

actually like being with. It's crazy

5:48

to me how so many people

5:50

stay in relationships. They're not happy

5:52

and where chemistry isn't really there and they

5:54

think this is just how it's supposed to

5:57

be. Now sometimes you can change the dynamic.

6:00

change the way that it feels and

6:02

all of a sudden the whole experience for both

6:04

people becomes better. But also a lot

6:06

of the time you're just with somebody who

6:08

you don't really like being with but you

6:10

think you have to. What I'm asking you

6:12

to do is to think critically. Your

6:15

whole life, every category, every

6:17

area, and just say, hey,

6:20

is my goal something that I really care about?

6:22

And is the way that I'm getting there genuinely

6:24

a good time? I'm gonna run

6:26

out of time. I'm

6:29

gonna run out of time so I better spend

6:31

it in a way that I think is worth

6:33

winning. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.

6:36

Have fun. Have fun while you're

6:38

getting closer and closer to your goals. That's

6:41

the best way to live. That's the

6:43

best way to get the most out

6:45

of your experience. The power, the momentum

6:47

you'll feel, how your brain lights up,

6:49

how your eyes will light up and you'll

6:51

feel alive again. No longer dragging

6:53

yourself out of bed. You'll

6:56

wake up excited. Guess

6:58

what? Everybody will notice.

7:01

People will be magnetized towards you. Opportunities will

7:04

open up that didn't exist before. All of

7:06

a sudden, you're getting invited over here and

7:08

over there and everybody wants to be your

7:10

friend. It's funny how that works. Momentum

7:13

is a really powerful ally so have it

7:15

on your side. Don't fight against it.

7:17

And if you want my personal support, coaching,

7:20

and guidance to help you really nail

7:22

this in your life, to build that

7:24

crazy momentum, to find ways to make

7:26

everything more fun, then I

7:28

invite you to go to the link that's

7:30

in the description, erafael.com. Over there, you can

7:33

book a one-on-one call with me directly. We'll

7:35

speak, see if it's a good fit, and

7:37

if so, I can be coaching you every

7:39

week to make sure that you're performing at

7:41

your absolute best, all while having some blast.

7:43

Again, if you want to take advantage of

7:45

that, go to erafael.com. The link is in

7:47

the description. As always, I hope that you enjoyed

7:50

this one and I will catch you on the next

7:52

one. Bye.