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Fantasies, Fetishes & Freedom: Camille Davis’ Sex Stories

Fantasies, Fetishes & Freedom: Camille Davis’ Sex Stories

Released Friday, 16th February 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
Fantasies, Fetishes & Freedom: Camille Davis’ Sex Stories

Fantasies, Fetishes & Freedom: Camille Davis’ Sex Stories

Fantasies, Fetishes & Freedom: Camille Davis’ Sex Stories

Fantasies, Fetishes & Freedom: Camille Davis’ Sex Stories

Friday, 16th February 2024
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Episode Transcript

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that we Humans I'm wildly and you

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are listening to Six Stories, a podcast

1:55

where we hear details from individuals who

1:57

are passionate about co creating a world

1:59

where taken. care of each other is

2:01

the norm, and our guest today is

2:03

an expert at providing excellent care in

2:06

the most important ways. A 27-year-old's

2:08

single-ish bisexual-assist white female, she is

2:10

turned on by acts of service,

2:13

reciprocity, mutual care, listening, and

2:15

intentional touch, especially for therapeutic

2:17

purposes. And also toys, favorites

2:19

include her TENS care Kegel toner, which I

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am so excited to hear details

2:24

about, and Womanizer, and she is

2:26

super-duper into fulfilling partners, fantasies, and

2:28

fetishes, including hopping on a Hop 66

2:31

ball naked, which now I really want to see! With

2:34

a background in nursing, she loves roleplay of

2:36

all kinds, but is especially living out medical

2:38

fetish fantasies, and is an excellent nurturing

2:40

dominant and teacher in the bedroom arts.

2:43

A freedom-loving babe who works as a legal

2:46

courtesan at Sherry's Ranch in Perump, Nevada, welcome

2:48

Camille Davis! Gosh, thank you so much

2:50

for having me. It's such a privilege to be

2:52

here, and it's a long time coming. I was

2:54

finally in town, and I thought, we really need

2:56

to get this lined up and good to go. I

2:59

am so excited to get all of your details

3:01

recorded for our guests today. Could you start off by

3:03

telling us? If you had to rate yourself on

3:05

a sexual shame-o-meter with 10 being the most full of

3:08

shame and one being not so shame-y at all, where

3:10

do you fall today? Why did you pick that number? And

3:12

tell us if there's been a shame roller coaster throughout your

3:15

lifetime. Sure, there's absolutely been a shame

3:17

roller coaster, not any hard inclines

3:19

or declines. Loop-de-loop? Sure,

3:21

why not? Or

3:23

corkscrews, or inverse, any

3:26

of that. I knew this

3:28

question was coming. I thought really hard about

3:30

it. I'm gonna use an analogy here. I

3:33

feel like we have shame the same way

3:35

that we have acute pain. That

3:38

we have acute pain so we

3:40

don't damage our tissue or damage

3:43

what we have in our body, but I feel

3:45

like we have shame so we

3:47

protect our social relationships.

3:50

So I feel like it can range from

3:52

3 to 5. I

3:54

feel that I'm very sexually open, but I do

3:57

consistently try to read the room to make

3:59

sure that... that I'm not going

4:01

into a higher number of shame. Mm, for

4:03

your own self. You got it. Are

4:06

you a three at work when you were at the ranch? I

4:09

would say so. Really? Yeah, because I'm

4:11

there in a provider role. And

4:13

as much as I would love to say, like, yes,

4:15

this is what I have, this is what I have

4:17

going on, I'm here to

4:20

help those first. That's also why people

4:22

come to me first. But

4:24

if they're open to asking me, I will

4:26

absolutely tell them, now I'm a one. And

4:29

it's dynamic. It's a spectrum. Do

4:31

you have moments of oneness or zeroness or whatever?

4:34

I know I said one to 10. But

4:37

in sessions with people, do you feel like

4:39

once you're connected or even in your private life,

4:41

like once you're connected with someone, do you have

4:43

moments where it's like, oh, right now I'm not

4:45

shame-y? Sure. Do

4:48

you feel like it does take some time to get there if

4:51

I feel safe with them and we're

4:53

connecting on a more emotional

4:55

and intellectual way and

4:57

then it gets on the more, or excuse

5:00

me, the lower end of the shame-o-meter? But

5:03

it really just depends. As long as I

5:05

feel safe and I feel like I can

5:07

express myself and they can express themselves, we're

5:10

good. We're golden. OK,

5:12

I'm thinking about your analogy. Camille is also

5:14

an expert at analogies. I really, really learn

5:17

a lot. You are someone that I can

5:19

just pepper with questions. And I really appreciate

5:21

that. And I haven't

5:23

thought of it in that way. But now I'm like,

5:25

oh, shit, I can't always feel the shame. So maybe

5:28

I'm one of those people that doesn't get the sensory

5:30

feedback. And maybe I'm like burning myself on a stove

5:32

all the time. OK, now that this is about me.

5:35

But there is also that analogy that some

5:37

people like pain. And that's totally

5:39

OK, too. That's true. Would you

5:41

say in this analogy, pain is the equivalent of

5:43

taboo? Not necessarily. OK. No.

5:45

I'm trying to understand shame and the relationship

5:48

between taboo because people are telling me that

5:50

shame creates the like,

5:52

ooh, in taboo. But

5:56

I don't know if I

5:59

experienced it. Do you? experience taboo? Like, how

6:01

do you understand it? Yeah, my

6:03

understanding of taboo is just means

6:05

out of the norm. And sometimes

6:08

within our civilization out of the norm

6:10

means bad in that

6:12

correlation. It doesn't have to be. Sometimes

6:15

taboo is wrong for certain reasons, even

6:17

in the logos aspect or

6:20

the ethos aspect. But

6:22

as long as it's safe and consensual,

6:24

and you feel like

6:26

it's a good time,

6:28

then it's fine. But if

6:30

you're going into something that's illegal,

6:32

not safe, not consensual. No

6:35

go. On this podcast, we like

6:37

legal and consensual activities. And

6:39

I feel like I could really wander in the

6:41

weeds. I know for a fact that I could wander deep

6:44

into the weeds with you and all

6:46

these things. The few best adjectives. Yeah.

6:48

So tell us what is

6:50

sex to Camille? Yeah. So when

6:52

I was looking up this definition

6:54

of sex hate, like through Google,

6:57

it just brought up whenever

6:59

you have sexual activity. And I was like, that's not

7:02

what I was looking for. Yeah.

7:04

Like, great. Even within school,

7:07

they said define this, but don't use

7:09

that word. Yeah. Within the definition. Online

7:11

dictionary. To

7:14

me, it can be a plethora of different

7:16

things. Like, we have

7:18

the adjective of oral and

7:20

oral sex. We have penetrative

7:22

sex. I also feel like

7:24

manual stimulation can get into

7:27

that sexual umbrella too. Oh, yeah.

7:29

I hope it's in line. Right.

7:31

Right. Or even dry humping.

7:33

Dry humping, dry humping. Yeah. There

7:37

is more clarity when you're naked,

7:40

but it can be done with clothes on

7:42

too, or partial clothes as well. How would

7:44

you define sex? Honestly, that's why

7:46

I'm like five years into this deep research

7:48

project, because I really thought I would like

7:50

understand it. I think there is for

7:53

me an energetic and physical

7:55

component. And it also depends on

7:57

the context in which someone's asking this question, which

8:00

I know it makes me a terror, but like whatever. But

8:02

I like to just see the different answers that people

8:04

give. So if colloquially out in the world someone's like,

8:06

hmm, sex, blah, blah, blah, like can we have sex?

8:08

I do assume that they are wanting

8:12

to put some sort of phallic object

8:14

inside of me or receive that. You know,

8:16

whether it's a cock that's attached to a

8:18

human body with a strap on or with

8:20

skin, you know, that's kind of

8:22

what I think definitionally is a lot of

8:25

what I will, my brain will jump to.

8:27

But if someone asks me this question in

8:29

the thoughtful way that I am asking people,

8:31

then I'm like, well, it's anything

8:34

that contains an agreement

8:36

to exchange erotic energy between

8:38

two people. You know, and orgasm is

8:40

not necessarily a part of that, but

8:42

it may be situations that could

8:44

lead to orgasm and are

8:46

focused on pleasure. You know,

8:49

one of my favorite guests

8:51

on here, Suzanne, taught me

8:53

about chasing pleasure, not orgasm. And

8:56

that has been kind of my true

8:58

north for sexual activity as I go

9:00

forward. Isn't that beautiful that we really should

9:02

be focusing more on the journey than

9:04

the destination? My mom always told me that

9:06

growing up too. We even had, you know, one of the, we

9:09

named all of our cars growing up. Me too.

9:11

Oh really? Yeah, yeah. So our

9:13

van, like our family van that was like the big

9:15

one that we would take if all of us were

9:18

going somewhere was named Journey because she very clearly thought

9:20

life is a journey, not just a destination. You

9:22

know, and I am a person that also

9:24

gets so excited. I love every aspect. Like

9:27

I love to have sex for hours upon

9:29

hours upon hours, but I also love coming,

9:31

but it's like coming is not at the

9:33

end of that. It's a marathon,

9:35

not a sprint. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

9:37

And my favorite way to come is by surprise,

9:39

you know? Or if someone is like

9:42

edging me and controlling my orgasm, but it's that edging

9:44

and it's the like, I don't know when I'm gonna

9:46

be allowed to come or if I'm gonna be allowed

9:48

to come that creates my orgasm. So, you

9:50

know, I think for me, sex is really

9:54

just when someone agrees

9:56

with me. And for me, the conscious part of it

9:58

is. important because

10:00

otherwise I experience it as boundary

10:02

pushing. Like when erotic energy is

10:05

thrust upon me, especially from internet strangers

10:07

who don't even take the time to

10:09

introduce themselves, step one, introduce thyself, especially if

10:11

you're reaching out to a stranger blindly and

10:13

not just with your name, tell me about you, why are

10:15

you reaching out to me? And then like if

10:17

I zoom out again, sex is

10:19

just grown up play. And

10:22

it's grown up play that I'm allowed to have. And

10:24

it doesn't have to be just for grown ups, right?

10:26

You know, of course, we're talking legal and consensual things.

10:28

And I'm not allowed to talk

10:30

to children about sex with my current credentials.

10:32

Hopefully, educators can do that out there. But

10:34

it's just for me, I think another definition

10:37

is just the most personal

10:39

play and original

10:41

creativity. It's our creative self expression.

10:43

Right. And I feel like within,

10:46

like culturally speaking definitions

10:49

on words can differ based

10:52

on region based on community based

10:54

on individual and the assumption. Exactly. And that's like

10:56

a blessing and a curse in my brain where someone said

10:58

a word and I'm like, I hear 14 different

11:00

definitions of that word. What do you mean? And sometimes

11:02

people get very annoyed if I like

11:04

try to really get detailed pinpoint it.

11:06

Yeah, I love to pinpoint stuff. And

11:08

I'm learning over the course of the

11:10

past five years how much

11:13

people, you know, they want to live in the gray

11:15

area, they want to be able to say, well, yes,

11:17

I said that, but I actually meant this. And to

11:19

me, if you throw physical erotic

11:21

interaction into the mix there, that's where

11:23

we get kind of rapey. And so

11:25

like, for me, that is not hot

11:27

or fun. And that's where I get confused about

11:30

like taboo stuff and kind of figuring out the

11:32

like, like where it's

11:34

like, Oh, it's so naughty. But

11:36

I'm like, but do you actually feel bad?

11:38

And sometimes people do and sometimes they don't and

11:40

sometimes they only feel bad when

11:42

I'm like, wait, but do you really feel

11:45

bad? And I'm like, well, I didn't but

11:47

now that you pointed it out. Right, right.

11:49

And having that blatant conversation, like I absolutely

11:51

understand can be scary for those

11:53

engaged in that conversation of giving or

11:55

receiving this topic of as

11:58

long as we're clear on everything.

12:00

I feel like it makes it even better.

12:03

So much better. It creates safety and

12:05

trust and a clear container. Absolutely.

12:07

That's what it is. Sex to

12:09

me is we draw

12:11

a really clear circle, I love

12:13

circles. It could be any shape. It doesn't have

12:15

to be a perfect circle. It could be a

12:17

wiggly circle. It's a clear container where I know

12:19

how I'm allowed to play inside of it. Right.

12:22

And that's so hot to me and so fun

12:24

because I feel like a Tasmanian sex devil that

12:26

just needs permission to like write a

12:28

letter. I'm visualizing this as we're on

12:30

a farm and it has a circle gate and

12:33

it's like, okay, these are the rules of it

12:35

and just have fun. Have fun. I think about

12:37

the grown up playground, like a jungle. I'm like,

12:39

do you want to do jungle gym today? No,

12:41

you won't do sandbox. You want to do jungle

12:43

gym, sandbox and jungle gym again. You want to

12:45

go down the slide? The tunnel slide. Up the

12:47

slide, down the slide and back up. Yeah.

12:51

The agreement is a huge part of it for

12:53

me, you know, and even in a recent experience

12:55

where I had a crush that wanted to fuck

12:57

me with their partner and I had a big

12:59

crush on them and I didn't know until

13:01

they were like, do you want to have sex

13:04

with us? And I was like, yeah, you know.

13:06

And so it's like, I need that kind of

13:08

specific element and I'm learning how many people quote

13:10

unquote don't need it. I'm doing bunny quotes, air quotes,

13:13

but it creates a hot container. Once it is there,

13:15

hot stuff can happen inside of it, but I don't

13:17

want to be in a situation where the next morning

13:19

they're like, oh no, no, thank you.

13:21

Perhaps you can relate, but when I

13:23

feel anxious, I research

13:26

and I want to get the data and I want to

13:28

have a clear answer to have

13:32

a better understanding of how I should process

13:34

things and go from there. And

13:36

when there's a clear answer, either

13:38

through me asking or data that

13:40

I've collected relationally or within the

13:43

situation, it's even

13:45

better because now I have a clear answer.

13:48

I do connect with people through information. This is

13:50

one thing that I have learned about my

13:52

brain over the past several years is it's

13:54

not so much the like unspoken social signals.

13:56

I don't really pick up on those, but

13:58

informational stuff, whether I you said it's

14:00

about a specific person and that's why I

14:02

love to ask people new versions of the

14:05

same questions over and over again, you know,

14:07

because that's how I'm gathering research which brings

14:09

me to what is sexy to you. We

14:11

talked about sex, but what is sexy? Reciprocity.

14:15

In terms of energy

14:18

or say, acts of service,

14:20

to me, acts

14:22

of service speaks louder than,

14:25

let's say, words of affirmation because

14:27

it's concrete, the action has been done

14:30

either in a positive or a negative

14:32

way. And let's say in terms

14:34

of working at the ranch, as

14:37

long as you let me know what you're looking for, I

14:40

can get that going. But if you're

14:42

showing me in the form

14:44

of energy of either money

14:46

and that's a type of topic in itself too.

14:48

But before I go down that rabbit hole too,

14:51

reciprocity. And sometimes that's even just a

14:53

listening ear. I do

14:55

feel, I mean, I don't mean to pat myself

14:57

on the back here. Do pat yourself. I'm here.

14:59

Okay, you can say it and then I'll ask

15:01

you. I

15:04

do feel like I'm a good listener. Camille

15:06

is an excellent listener. Camille has listened to

15:08

me talk a lot. But

15:11

I love it. And you love it. Maybe

15:15

that's what I miss, or

15:18

perhaps I don't always get back is the

15:21

reciprocity of now it's time to talk

15:23

about me or my life that it's

15:25

kind of thrown out the window

15:27

or not shown the same care. It's not

15:30

a whole negative that it makes

15:32

me turn a 180. But it does have that

15:34

realization for me of, oh, dot

15:37

dot dot. To me, it feels like

15:39

a lack of fullness in the relationship.

15:42

And while I do really, really, really

15:44

love providing safe spaces where

15:46

people can discover themselves. And

15:48

like I often have the experience where my

15:50

reflections and I suspect you have the same

15:53

thing will spark something in someone.

15:55

And oftentimes I understand, right? Like I understand

15:57

that that spark can feel so yummy and juicy

15:59

and so. especially if it's new,

16:01

it's easy to get swept up and forget that there's

16:03

like a person they're facilitating that

16:05

experience, you know. And I would also imagine

16:08

like context matters. People relate differently depending

16:10

on the type of relationship they're expecting.

16:12

I know like even as a podcaster,

16:14

I love like

16:16

going deep with people and receiving and

16:18

then I'm still trying to figure

16:20

out how to turn parasocial

16:22

relationships or like one off work

16:24

situations into deeper friendships because it's like, well,

16:27

it does have to go both ways. And

16:29

sometimes people can't provide something because we all

16:31

are where we are in our own journey.

16:34

So, right. I get that tango.

16:36

Sometimes three or four. Yeah. Sometimes

16:39

you just need a whole big dance party. I'm

16:42

imagining like a big ball mixed with a circle

16:44

jerk, you know, where like there's the people on

16:46

the inside and the people on the outside. And

16:48

it's like we do the like dancing. I don't

16:50

know how to dance, but like the formal dancing

16:52

and then it's like the bell goes off and

16:54

then we're like fucking for a little bit and

16:56

then the bell goes off again. And then you

16:58

switch partners and you're dancing again. That could be

17:00

very fun. And we can have dance cards. Yeah.

17:03

Oh, literal dance cards. Yeah. Sorry,

17:05

mine's so full. But you can join my

17:07

puppy pile later. That one's open. So

17:12

back to the idea of what is

17:14

sexy for Camille and the idea of

17:16

reciprocity, I really relate to acts of

17:19

service. I also like them when combined

17:21

with words. What about physical touch for

17:24

you? Is that part of it? Like, is it visual

17:26

things? Like if we're on the topic

17:28

of reciprocity here, I do feel that

17:30

I have, I call it

17:32

touch with intent. We were taught

17:34

this in nursing school and prior to

17:36

nursing school, I was not a hugger. I

17:39

was not a toucher. And they taught

17:41

us about therapeutic touch and how

17:43

it doesn't have to be, you

17:46

know, it absolutely is not inappropriate or anything

17:48

like that. It does

17:50

add a layer of emotional

17:54

complexity saying if

17:56

a patient had a grim diagnosis

17:59

or a bad day or

18:01

otherwise that is okay and

18:03

it is healing to reach out and

18:06

say on the shoulder saying I'm

18:08

really sorry to hear that. Nowadays

18:10

especially post-pandemic touches aren't,

18:13

we saw a lot of touch starved people after

18:16

the pandemic during the pandemic and

18:19

I decided to take that out

18:22

into my cortisone work from

18:24

a nursing perspective and

18:27

I was seeing people

18:29

open up in ways that they

18:31

probably wouldn't have before. I mean

18:33

granted perhaps our clothes are off

18:35

but there is that touch with intent

18:38

and when that is flipped on me

18:40

so here we are back at reciprocity.

18:42

If that's flipped back on me it

18:45

could even be like a touch on the forehead

18:47

or there's not

18:50

the absolute intent

18:52

of it's sexual. Yes Camille

18:54

is the person who recently put into my

18:56

brain the idea of intimate touch

18:59

versus sexual touch and

19:02

it's something that I don't think I had

19:04

drawn a clear distinction before because I'm a

19:06

touchy person. My whole life I've been trying

19:08

to touch people less. I mean I come

19:11

from a very touch heavy family in sweet

19:13

normal ways like I'll give my sister tickles on

19:15

the arm or scratches or whatever and I love

19:18

giving people scratches and in high school

19:20

my best friend would sit on my lap. My

19:22

mom started to think I was a lesbian because I would always

19:24

just cuddle my girlfriends but I

19:26

didn't know I was queer yet and

19:29

as an adult especially once I started

19:31

doing sex related work first podcasting and

19:33

now my whole exploration of the horarchy

19:35

it's so great it's so great but

19:37

I'm even more self-conscious about touch

19:40

and I don't know

19:42

if I always know my intentions other than wanting

19:44

to make people feel good and so so now

19:46

I kind of err on the side of

19:48

like not touching people until I have clear

19:50

explicit permission. When do you feel able

19:53

to initiate intentional touch? Like what are

19:55

some ways that perhaps aren't sexual as

19:57

of getting away from the reciprocity but

19:59

maybe that's the big of initiation of

20:01

reciprocity is leading by example? I don't

20:03

know. I'd like to hear how you think of it.

20:05

Yeah, I have been told many times in my life

20:07

that I'm the silent leader and when

20:11

people see what you're doing is making

20:13

them feel good or giving them a

20:16

purpose, they want to do that outward.

20:18

Maybe not to you, maybe for the

20:20

community or otherwise, but if

20:22

it's in a sexual nature and it's

20:24

been flipped upon me, I'm just like,

20:26

oh, yeah, yeah, thank you. Thank you. Oh, you

20:28

saw it. That's

20:31

so hot. Do you have any specific

20:34

examples? Like, does it all just depend

20:36

or are there specific places on your

20:38

body that like especially love receiving physical

20:40

touch, assuming that it's intentional, assuming that

20:42

it's invited? Right, so oxytocin,

20:45

that's the touch hormone, and it's

20:47

one that we don't get a whole

20:49

lot of because in our society, we're

20:52

not very touchy. We're not, we might

20:54

handshake maybe. I feel

20:57

like it's starting to be implemented back

20:59

post pandemic here, but that really

21:01

caused an avoidance for everything. And I

21:04

had to learn about that too. Like, I

21:06

started as a Corazon

21:08

in August of 2021. And

21:11

so we were still wearing masks at the time. And

21:14

I came from the hospital working

21:17

the pandemic where it was no

21:19

touch, hand wash, six

21:21

feet apart. But

21:24

then being at the ranch,

21:26

I had this new uncharted waters

21:28

that I could explore on what

21:30

made me feel good. Again,

21:33

making others feel good again. I

21:35

found that my calves very

21:38

sensitive. In what way? It's like, is

21:40

it like soft touch, firm touch, all

21:43

of it? Yeah, it can just depend.

21:45

Sometimes light touch can be a little bit

21:47

too light and it gets a little too tickly. But

21:50

if there's that just that touch with intent,

21:52

like maybe it can be in the

21:54

form of a massage, my calves have

21:57

always been tense, always. And

21:59

also when and things are getting a little

22:01

spicy, my legs will lock up and

22:03

I'll point my toes and I'll shorten the muscle

22:05

fibers there and I always need to stretch

22:08

them out. Yes, same. Perhaps that makes it

22:10

more sensitive than if it's maybe a little

22:12

sore or what have you. That's a great

22:14

place to get things going, you know, rev

22:16

up that engine a little bit. But

22:20

also like all the way down the

22:22

back too, like towards the spine. I

22:24

also like to explain

22:26

to people like what dermatomes are.

22:28

What is a dermatome? It'd

22:31

be easier with a chart, but it's

22:33

our nerve endings that stem from our

22:35

spinal cord. So we

22:37

have dermatomes, you know, one

22:40

through however many and those will talk

22:42

to different nerves and

22:44

muscles within our body. So

22:47

say if we have somebody with a

22:49

P7 injury, we're

22:52

starting to look at the dermatomes.

22:54

What's a P7? A vertebrae thoracic

22:56

seven. Okay. So sorry. You're

22:58

good. It's my job to ask the questions.

23:01

We're gonna be looking at the dermatome

23:03

chart and seeing if that's going to

23:06

sustain an injury such as paralysis or

23:08

nerve damage with an

23:10

associated body part, such as the

23:13

higher up a spinal injury

23:15

is, the higher

23:18

up it's gonna potentially

23:20

mess things up with like

23:23

if you have a cervical injury, all

23:25

the way down can have some

23:28

complications of either loss of sensation,

23:30

loss of movement. So

23:33

dermatomes, they also go on our

23:35

fingertips as well. And

23:37

I love having people play with my

23:40

hands, fingertips, or when

23:42

I'm touching them and I get to feel their skin.

23:46

Back of the neck is also a great country. Oh

23:48

yeah, back of the neck. I love

23:50

touching people's faces with my fingertips.

23:53

Like there's something so intimate about it. And

23:55

I think you'll put the word intimate into

23:57

my brain around touch. So now it's like front of

23:59

focus. And I just love,

24:02

especially if I'm in a situation

24:04

where someone, I mean don't get me

24:06

wrong, I love to just get straight to fucking

24:08

and like I love intensity. Oh sure, absolutely. But

24:10

also when I do have the time, when someone

24:12

wants to spend the time when I find a

24:15

fellow fucker, lover, whatever, who wants to like have

24:17

those hours long sessions, that's

24:19

when I'm like, oh, every little

24:21

sensation. Life is

24:23

a buffet. Why does this well have a

24:25

little bit of everything on that floor? I love that. I

24:28

want to have the Schmorgasbord. I always pick sampler

24:30

platters too. I mean, that's also like why I'm

24:32

doing the whole bucket list novelty seeking and

24:34

also just talking to the one condom

24:37

people recently. I'm like, oh my God, I gotta line up

24:39

a bunch of cocks and play with them. I don't know. I

24:42

don't know. I don't make the rules, but it sounds like you

24:44

have to. But

24:46

could you make the rules and then I would? Sure. Right?

24:49

So sexiness wise, is there anything else to say? We

24:51

talked about reciprocity. We talked a little bit about

24:54

physical. What about like the mental component? Maybe recruiting

24:56

the visual? Oh sure. I don't know.

24:58

Our number one sexual organ I feel is

25:01

our brain. If I

25:03

can, here we go back to reciprocity.

25:06

If I taught you something and you

25:08

teach me something back, oh my gosh. I

25:11

love learning. Oh my gosh. I love learning.

25:13

I always feel that if I didn't learn

25:15

something new today, I might as well be

25:17

dead. Truly. Even if it's

25:19

just a small thing of, oh, that's

25:21

how they pour concrete. That's

25:24

how you burn toast. I

25:27

am always amazed by how many things I continue to

25:29

learn every day about sex too. Just

25:32

because that is my topic of focus. Yeah,

25:34

it's your passion. It's my passion. That's my

25:36

little passion. I think it's all of our

25:38

literal passions, regardless of

25:40

our relationship. It can be our passion. Oh

25:44

absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. That

25:46

psychologically, even logically,

25:48

emotionally, intimately

25:50

brain stuff. I

25:52

started out in neuro trauma, so

25:54

brain is my thing. Understanding

25:58

the physical parts, but also understanding. the

26:00

workings inside, the emotional

26:02

things that come from

26:04

sex or the intimate things that

26:06

come from or what have

26:09

you, everything gets done back from the brain because it

26:11

is us. It can

26:13

be all sorts of things. It can just

26:15

be a hunk of tissue, but also it

26:18

could be the object that powers earth. What?

26:21

Well, civilization. Oh, oh, the power of... Civilization.

26:25

I think we should say, yeah. Yeah.

26:28

What I'm hearing in your responses

26:31

are it really seems relational for

26:33

you, a context of whatever is

26:35

sexy seems important. Oh, absolutely.

26:38

Absolutely. Like, I'd like to

26:40

think of it as a triangle. So

26:42

it has this, my foundation

26:45

would be there is an intimate

26:47

connection. We've had time to talk.

26:49

We've had time to understand what you

26:52

like, what I like, what you might

26:54

not like, what I might not like either

26:56

because those are important conversations. I

26:58

love that we have to talk, touch upon

27:01

those important factors because now

27:03

I can paint a picture of

27:05

an experience that we're both going

27:07

to have together that is sexy

27:10

and that can have different definitions

27:12

for different people. And as

27:14

long as I know your definition and it

27:17

aligns with the definition of

27:19

mine, we're golden. It's

27:21

at least an exploration, right? Because it's like, we don't always

27:23

know what we're going to find, especially in a scenario that's

27:26

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29:26

dying to ask you about the bouncy ball.

29:29

I know that this is kind of out of order,

29:31

but was that sexy for you?

29:34

And also, did you get erotic stimulation from it? What

29:36

is the bouncy ball like, and what was it like

29:38

to have someone be like, this is sexy for me?

29:41

Right. I was a rather new courtesan, and

29:43

I received an email from a potential

29:45

client. He has been here before, and

29:48

he said that his thing is to

29:51

hop on a hop-6-6 ball. So

29:55

he likes to hop on it. No, no, he likes

29:57

the lady to hop on it. Yeah, excuse me. And

30:01

I was like, okay. And

30:03

especially with my noonness as

30:05

a Corazon, I felt like I'm

30:08

given this opportunity, why shouldn't I try

30:10

it? I don't think I

30:13

would have any other instance in my civilian

30:15

life that this would pop up. And

30:17

this was kind of given to me in my

30:19

life. It's like, I feel like I should always

30:21

give something a try three

30:24

times to figure out if I like it. And

30:27

he wanted me naked on this

30:30

hop 66 ball, and he

30:32

wanted me to hop on it. I

30:34

was in my room and I was just hopping along. I

30:36

would go back and forth, and sometimes I would do

30:38

360s, and

30:41

I'd face one way and face the other way.

30:43

I'd make eye contact. And

30:45

I did get a little bit of

30:47

stimulation, like sitting there with the handle

30:49

between my legs, and I would

30:51

just hop, hop, hop, and he wanted me to

30:53

go higher, and I went higher. And then he'd

30:55

want me to go a little bit lower. We

30:57

can do that. Can I tell you? Yeah. Oh,

31:00

I love it. There's a little bit of coaching

31:02

there, but he let me know what he wanted,

31:04

which is so sexy. I wanna

31:07

film that in slow-mo, or do I wanna

31:09

be hopping on it in slow-mo? I wanna

31:11

do it outside. How did you know it was

31:13

clean? Did you like alcohol? Oh, he was

31:15

so kind. He brought his own wipes, and

31:17

whenever it would touch the floor

31:19

or the handle would go in one

31:21

direction, touch the floor, we would disinfect

31:23

it. And I thought, wow,

31:26

we've got safety. We're consensual here.

31:28

We're having fun. This is

31:30

wonderful. I wanna update our

31:33

dance fantasy, and now

31:35

the inside people are all on hop 66 balls.

31:38

Right, right, right. They're like,

31:40

can they be open to drop? Oh, they're right.

31:42

And he's in a view, Peter, and every time

31:44

it's a whole lot of fun. That's so cool.

31:46

He'll bring the hop 66 ball

31:49

inside his backpack, and when-

31:52

Deflated. Right, right, exactly. And

31:55

when it's time to get going, he'll inflate it

31:57

with a foot pump, and he's so

31:59

kind. every time it goes

32:01

through any sort of steps, it gets disinfected. That's

32:05

amazing. Isn't it quite cool? That's so cool. I

32:07

think also just like, what is sexy to me

32:09

is people knowing what they like. You know, exactly,

32:11

I'm like, wow. And people

32:14

may be like me, I don't know exactly, I

32:16

don't know everything I like. I know I like

32:18

a lot of stuff and I know I'm curious

32:20

and that kind of like openness and the willingness

32:22

to explore and the willingness to discover, like discovery

32:24

in real time with another person is so sexy.

32:26

And that's attractive too, because

32:28

I also have that thought where

32:31

it's like, I don't think I found it yet,

32:33

but when I see people and

32:35

they have found it, whatever

32:37

it is, I think,

32:40

wow, that is so wonderful. I'm so

32:42

happy for you. You know what you want. Thank

32:44

you for bringing me on this adventure. Yeah.

32:47

Sexier otherwise. I fucking

32:49

love that. Would you tell

32:51

us what was your sex ed like

32:53

and then what was your experience as

32:55

a person who does educate people in

32:58

various ways, in the like? Yeah, so

33:00

I grew up in Arizona and

33:03

there within the legislation, it is

33:05

absence only sexual education. And

33:08

if we're all right for story time right now, I

33:10

remember that there was a time where

33:12

we were given this absence only curriculum,

33:15

we had a portion where we could

33:17

write an anonymous question to the instructor

33:20

and it would be answered in front of the

33:22

class. Because if you had a question, others

33:24

probably did as well. And I

33:27

absolutely know the answer now, but

33:30

I had just learned these

33:32

terms of masturbation and oral

33:34

sex. And now I

33:36

know they are different things. I

33:39

had asked them in question form,

33:42

is oral sex the same as masturbation? And

33:45

they saw my paper, they

33:47

had it in this little soldier, they pulled it out,

33:49

read it to themselves. And

33:52

they just looked up at the

33:54

class and said, so we

33:56

have this question here and it says

33:58

that it is black. link the

34:01

same as masturbation. And

34:04

my question was not answered. They told me

34:06

to go talk to a trusted

34:08

adult. And foundationally, my

34:10

parents are awesome. They were the ones

34:13

who taught me about sex ed. I

34:15

come from a medical background. And

34:18

they were very open with if I

34:20

had any questions, it wasn't frills

34:23

or anything like that. And that

34:26

fired up within me as like, I

34:28

have questions, I have questions that's not

34:30

being answered. So I'm going to go

34:32

find it elsewhere. In the form

34:34

of the internet. Which I feel like a

34:37

lot of us did because we had questions.

34:40

So growing up within

34:43

the school setting, I feel like it

34:45

could have been a lot better. And I do see

34:47

this often at

34:49

the ranch where people have these misunderstandings,

34:52

not from their own faults, but just

34:54

from the fault of their community that

34:56

they don't have these, I

34:58

would say fundamental understandings of things in terms

35:01

of safety in terms of what consent is,

35:03

what respect is, what responsibility

35:05

is, sexually, or

35:07

even in a relationship. Or even other

35:10

body works. Oh, our body, our minds,

35:12

their hearts, like the concert of all

35:14

of those things. Yeah. If you're a virgin, I

35:16

love to have a little hands on show and

35:18

tell everybody gets a little anatomy lesson. Don't you

35:20

wish we all had that kind of training from

35:22

someone who's older and wiser? I mean, some of

35:24

the best stories I've heard about first experiences are

35:27

from people who had an older, wiser person show

35:29

them things, which it's interesting to

35:31

note that penis owners often are very, very

35:33

enthusiastic about like, oh, this older woman showed

35:35

me something. Whereas like the reverse, when we

35:37

have a younger woman with an older man,

35:39

there is some even though it's very normal,

35:41

there's some sort of like, oh,

35:44

I don't know, like a little shame vibes to it

35:46

sometimes. But I love that. Okay, so show and tell

35:48

hands on. Yeah, yeah. And I one of

35:50

my favorite activities is

35:52

fingering. And we do it

35:54

in the same way, either they're wearing

35:56

gloves or little finger condoms. I have

35:59

them insert a finger or two inside me and

36:01

we get to explore around a little bit. And

36:04

within that exploration I like to show

36:06

them where my G-spot is. And I

36:08

tell them that the G-spot is also

36:11

the urethral sheath because it is the

36:13

back door, so to speak, on

36:16

where your urethra is. If you're going up,

36:18

that's where the urethra is. And

36:21

within a lot of stimulation of that,

36:23

a lady can lose control for bladder,

36:26

which can cause squirt. Now

36:28

if you're having such a great

36:31

time that you're losing

36:33

control of your bladder, or

36:35

if you pee during sex, great!

36:37

That means you're having a good time.

36:39

Well, not a full,

36:41

like, hard rule that

36:44

that's a good time. But I feel like

36:46

as long as people know what's going on,

36:48

it's totally okay. But I do like to

36:50

let them know that that's what it is.

36:52

It's not just this magical fluid

36:54

that comes, I mean there is

36:56

a skein splat, and that can produce a little bit.

36:58

A little bit. A little bit.

37:01

But the big gushes you see in porn,

37:03

not this magical glitter fluid. Yeah, yeah. And

37:05

my understanding is that it's not coming out

37:08

of the urethra, it's coming through the sponge?

37:10

Both. Yeah. Both. Okay. So

37:13

with me, if there's a lot of

37:15

G-spot stimulation, I will straight up lose

37:17

control of my bladder. And then

37:19

it just, it gets everywhere. And that's

37:21

totally fine. But I just want to

37:23

let them know that that's where we're headed, that's what it

37:26

is. And if you're not okay with that, let's try something

37:28

else. Oh my gosh, that's so fun. Has

37:30

that ever, like, influenced a

37:33

negotiation in some direction for you?

37:35

Yeah, yeah. That if

37:37

they're looking for squirting, or if

37:39

they're looking for manual stimulation on

37:42

me, I will let

37:44

them know what's working for me and what's not working

37:46

for me. And quick shout out here that

37:48

our days at the ranch would be far

37:50

too long if we didn't get to enjoy ourselves

37:52

too. So

37:55

we get to enjoy ourselves, but I'm very vocal on

37:57

what's working for me and what's not. I

38:00

need to let them know that when I need to

38:02

be hydrated, I

38:04

need to make sure that that's going on. I

38:07

also need to make sure that their fingernails

38:09

are in proper condition. Yeah, very important. And

38:13

that if this happens, that's what it

38:15

is. And I can

38:17

only count on a couple

38:19

of fingers on where that's backpedaled of like,

38:21

oh, no, that's here and that's not what

38:24

I want. But otherwise, people are

38:26

pretty gung ho. I was gonna say,

38:28

also, like golden showers are a thing not

38:30

even a golden shower, but any sort of like pea

38:33

play. It's very much a thing. Are

38:35

there any other common gaps? You notice insects

38:37

add maybe through the work you do at

38:39

the ranch? Oh, sure, sure. Not that it

38:41

happens all too often, but sometimes once

38:44

in a blue moon, there are those

38:46

who are really not listening to the rules. I

38:49

will always sit down and have

38:51

a conversation with people. I call it the safety chat. They've

38:54

had a gentle check, they've booked, they've had

38:56

their shower. I tell them, you can meet

38:58

me out here in the Mahabal safety chat.

39:00

And that's just explaining what

39:03

their boundaries are and what my boundaries

39:05

are. If they're allergic to latex, if

39:08

they're allergic to almonds. Or

39:10

for that almond play. They never. Sometimes

39:14

there's an almond derivative in lubes. So

39:17

I make sure that there's no like topical

39:19

allergies or anything like that. But

39:21

if they're not assuring to

39:23

the rules that we've had in place,

39:26

I like to think that there's a three strikes and

39:29

you're out. There's always a gentle

39:31

reminder, a firmer reminder,

39:33

and then you're out of there. That's

39:36

happened very, very rarely,

39:38

thankfully. But then I have

39:41

to reflect over on, did they

39:43

get any education on what these

39:45

respectful boundaries are? Or

39:47

are they just a boundary pusher? Right, right.

39:50

Which exists. That exists. But some people have

39:52

turned on what I've learned in some strange

39:54

ways. Or

39:56

in terms of these gaps, sometimes

39:58

it's just basic anatomy. or

40:01

seeing a vulva for the first time

40:03

of, we

40:05

come in all different shapes and

40:07

sizes and colors, and they're all

40:09

beautiful, same with penises. In

40:11

terms of the penis, different shapes

40:14

and sizes and colors,

40:16

they're all okay. I've seen

40:19

penises where they have a 90 degree bend in them. And

40:22

they do- I would play with that. Oh, what were you

40:24

gonna say? No, no, you play with it in an angle.

40:26

Good answer. Good answer.

40:29

Because of the sexes, I feel it's an angles

40:31

and rhythm game if we're

40:33

getting in terms of the

40:36

grind. Yeah, yeah. And

40:38

since my anatomy differs from different

40:40

people and their anatomy differs from

40:42

different people, you just

40:44

have to figure out this dance of what

40:46

works for you both, and that's what

40:49

makes it delicious. Every time is that

40:51

learning process. Isn't it neat? Oh,

40:54

cool. So I'm gonna find different positions.

40:56

We're gonna find different touches. We're gonna

40:58

find different sensations to play around with. What

41:02

about in the genital inspection? Have you

41:04

encountered maybe things you wish people knew

41:06

in the course of that part of

41:08

the process? Absolutely. I do

41:10

see it in cultures

41:12

where maybe they just didn't talk

41:15

about genital hygiene, say

41:17

those who are uncircumcised, maybe they

41:19

just weren't taught to push that

41:21

foreskin back and clean with

41:23

soap and water before pushing it back down. And

41:26

there have been a couple of times, more

41:28

than a couple of times, where

41:31

during the inspection retract the

41:33

foreskin and there's a yeast infection.

41:37

And I take it as a

41:40

moment for education that

41:42

this is a learning opportunity, that we

41:44

did have a negotiation we're about to book.

41:47

I'm a little bummed, but also this is

41:49

a learning opportunity that when

41:51

I see white specks all over the

41:53

head of the penis, that

41:57

might need a doctor's help here. And

42:00

also, washer

42:03

soap and water. But

42:05

maybe they just weren't told that. I

42:08

can't just assume that they're a dirty individual.

42:10

They were very respectful throughout the entire process

42:12

and it was just a

42:14

surprise. Absolutely. If someone's going all the way

42:16

there and going to that level of effort,

42:19

it's not like they're, I

42:21

would imagine, they're like hoodwinkie or anything. They're

42:23

like show off at, you know. And

42:26

I feel like it is not the time to invoke

42:28

shame or embarrassment. The process of getting

42:30

into the brothel is already scary enough.

42:34

So this is a learning opportunity,

42:36

totally fine. And maybe

42:38

they'll take that information out into the world

42:41

and they'll act a bit afraid. Exactly,

42:43

exactly. Probably not. But like

42:46

maybe, yeah. Or maybe they've never seen

42:48

what jock itch looks like and

42:50

they were sitting in the hot car all

42:53

day and whoop. What

42:55

does it look like? Maybe you don't know. Yeah. To

42:58

me, it looks like a shadow. It's

43:01

very prominent in the lines that it's

43:03

red or darker in color than the

43:05

usual skin tone and

43:08

it'll stem from the inner thigh

43:10

and the crotch area and kind

43:12

of radiate down. It almost looks

43:14

like a shell, like

43:16

a seashell that goes down the

43:18

legs with prominent outlines. That's a

43:21

fungal, right? Yeah. Yep. It's

43:24

also candida. It's a different form. Mm-hmm. Damn.

43:27

Mm-hmm. Wow. How

43:30

do you recommend people talk about that with

43:32

their partners? If there is something that comes up

43:34

or a bump or a lump or something? Yeah.

43:37

What sort of tones, what sort of phrases do you use? Say

43:40

the general checks at the ranch. I'm

43:43

not allowed to assess or diagnose even

43:45

though I might have

43:47

the medical know-how. I

43:49

don't have... It's a different job. It's a different

43:51

job. I can't

43:54

say, like, yeah, that is definitely meluscent

43:56

gum or that is definitely HSC. I

44:00

can't... say that. So I'll

44:02

say that I do see an area of

44:04

concern here that I might not be

44:06

comfortable with at this moment, but I

44:08

do encourage you to just have it looked

44:10

at and come on back when it clears

44:13

up. And that opens up

44:15

the invitation for later and not

44:17

saying that this is the hard stop

44:20

no more from here. No,

44:22

I'd be more than happy to see them again,

44:24

just in a safer way. And

44:27

that's what makes us sexy, right? Yeah,

44:29

as long as it's safe. And we

44:31

do have mandated barrier practices that we

44:33

have to adhere to at the ranch. Right. And we

44:35

have to

44:37

go by that. I mean, we

44:40

started the condom use in 1986

44:42

during the AIDS epidemic. And

44:46

when that happened, there was a lot of pushback

44:48

of like, oh my gosh, no, we've been sharing

44:50

has been around since the 70s. And

44:52

there was pushback saying like, you know, this is not how we do

44:54

it. This is not how we do it. But

44:56

we adapted. I mean,

44:59

I wasn't there in the 80s. But they

45:01

adapted. And since

45:04

then, there hasn't been a positive cage

45:06

of HIV immersion illegal brothel. And to

45:08

me, that is sexy because it's hard

45:10

numbers. It's not just

45:12

a rumor or anything like that. It's

45:15

hard evidence. And gosh, that makes it sexy.

45:17

Yeah, it really does. You know, I was

45:20

home for Thanksgiving recently and telling

45:22

my family about some of the research I'm doing and some

45:24

of the ladies who I know who work at the ranch

45:26

and one of my family

45:28

members was like, aren't

45:30

they worried about getting

45:32

something like catching something health and safety? And

45:34

I was like, well, actually, they're a whole

45:37

lot more safer than swingers and people at

45:39

sex parties based on my

45:41

knowledge, my experience, like the

45:43

sex workers that I know take health and safety very

45:46

seriously. And we've if we brought those

45:48

kind of like testing standards into regular

45:51

civilian world, like if we got tested

45:55

out in the world the way that porn

45:57

stars do even, you know, on a biweekly

45:59

basis. And that would be so hot.

46:01

And of course, we would also have to

46:03

address accessibility and have spaces where that's possible

46:05

and get a lot of political

46:08

stigma and stuff. But it's

46:10

getting started on under-resourced communities.

46:12

Right, right, right. So

46:16

in your perfect world, what would

46:18

sex ed look like? Yeah, it

46:20

would start from a very young

46:22

age in an age-appropriate way. We

46:25

have questions, and there are

46:27

tactful ways of giving him

46:29

that information without being. I'm

46:31

going to use the word obscene here.

46:34

Not that it is obscene, but

46:36

there's just a good way to

46:39

deliver that information in

46:41

a scientific, evidence-based practice way. With

46:44

also maybe an emotional component that helps us

46:46

smash that channel. I just think of the number

46:49

of people who I've spoken to who had horrible

46:52

experiences at extremely young ages. Because I've definitely

46:54

talked to friends and family members and people

46:56

that are like, well, it's not like I'm

46:58

going to talk about it with my child

47:00

who is four. And I'm like, well,

47:02

maybe you should reconsider that. I'm not going to shoot

47:04

on you. But the way I say it is like,

47:06

yeah, that's a good point. I understand that people

47:08

have concerns about young ages. However, here

47:10

are my anecdotal stories with people who

47:13

had no information at those young ages,

47:15

and it led to these difficult experiences

47:17

that caused future trauma. Right, and I

47:20

feel like we're really having to play

47:22

catch up in that aspect. That's

47:25

one of the reasons why my job is sexy, because

47:28

I get to teach and I get to educate in a

47:31

sexy way. Right? Even within

47:33

the education I'm in right now, we

47:35

have a cohort that is in Amsterdam

47:38

right now, and they're working with young

47:40

kids in their

47:42

sexual education. And they are reporting

47:44

back and finding that it is

47:46

so liberating that

47:49

they're talking about this so openly

47:51

because kids are smart. Kids are

47:53

smart. And they have very

47:56

curious questions because they're curious just as I

47:58

am, just as you are. And they have

48:00

bodies, right? They feel stuff. Exactly. Exactly.

48:03

And they just want to know

48:05

how to process information or have

48:07

some guidance. I feel like when

48:09

we're asking for help and it's just shut down

48:11

of like, oh, we don't talk about sex. We

48:14

don't talk about those feelings. It only adds a

48:16

layer of resentment. And fear

48:18

and then a desire to go

48:20

forth and conquer or explore

48:23

nonetheless. Exactly. Skip

48:25

to the birth control. Like the boot of Gary.

48:28

Yeah. Wow. OK,

48:30

so starting at the younger age, any other pieces that

48:32

you would like put in your perfect sex? Oh, yes.

48:34

Yes. Yes. I have

48:36

a daydream of like, within the legislation,

48:38

if we were able to have more

48:41

accessibility, or if the world were to

48:43

have more accessibility to sex work,

48:46

legal sex work, safe sex work. Like for

48:49

example, my dream of if it were only

48:51

covered by insurance. Exactly. Exactly.

48:54

Oh, I wonder what those notes would look like. Like

48:57

writing to insurance. Oh my god. Well,

48:59

I mean, even what do the therapy notes

49:02

look like? Like even if it was, I mean,

49:04

I think a lot of plans have like 12

49:06

sessions a year, which I think is not enough.

49:08

Definitely not enough. But even if we had that,

49:10

like if someone knew, if I knew that I

49:12

would definitely get fucked in a

49:15

safe, compassionate way once a month, I'd

49:17

be able to focus so much better. And if I knew it

49:19

was like once a week or every other week,

49:21

I would be fucking flying. Right. That would

49:23

make such a huge difference in my life. And knowing

49:25

that that date is coming up. Yes. Something to look

49:27

forward to, something to prepare for, something where I

49:29

could like report back whether it's the

49:32

same provider or different providers. That's where I think it

49:34

could be a different sort of therapy. That's my dream.

49:36

And then like a sex camp where I could go

49:38

and learn special things. Yeah. To

49:40

me, it's always in a library

49:42

because I always feel that libraries

49:44

are so underutilized. There's

49:46

so many great resources, like

49:49

checking out books or regardless that

49:53

what if you wanted to try a certain

49:55

subject and you get to learn on that

49:57

in a hands-on way. I can't

49:59

remember what library. it was that they

50:01

have like the human experience like workshop

50:04

where you can sit down and

50:06

have a conversation with somebody who's

50:08

had a different experience from you.

50:10

They're a firefighter. They were around

50:13

during World War Two. They were

50:15

around for the Civil Rights Movement.

50:18

And you have that

50:20

conversation with somebody, but what if

50:22

you had an hands-on workshop with

50:25

a sex worker who can give you that

50:27

information in a safe way

50:29

and with tools that are

50:31

right? Not

50:34

right, but accurate to

50:36

what the body needs. Yeah. Yeah. And they

50:39

can take that off into the world with

50:41

their knowledge and spread it around. I mean,

50:43

it certainly would bring a new meaning to like

50:45

the idea that knowledge is sexy. Like

50:48

a library with a whole new... Oh my gosh. Right.

50:50

Right. Oh, I love that.

50:52

What about you? What would your sex

50:54

education look like? In my perfect world,

50:57

there are spaces in

50:59

every major city. So ideally within

51:02

an hour car ride of any

51:05

locale in any place. And

51:07

imagine, you know, there's a educational

51:10

component that looks like a museum. And

51:13

that place also has a workshop space and

51:15

also has the best gift shop ever. And

51:17

then there is a place space up above

51:19

or below, or maybe in a separate building.

51:21

But the idea of how I

51:23

would organize the museum is to be age

51:25

appropriate. So you have literal different levels and

51:27

so designed for families. And then when you

51:30

get up into like the teen years, maybe

51:32

they do want to come by themselves. Maybe

51:34

they're not in literal organics, but maybe that's

51:36

a place where teenagers could go and have

51:38

a date so that they could learn. And

51:40

there are trusted adults to talk to. Obviously, there'd have

51:42

to be parental signatures in the country we live in. But

51:44

like, I think this idea that

51:47

kids can't know is so harmful. And I

51:49

think it creates such a strange, such a

51:51

strange dynamic. And I understand that it comes

51:53

from the discomfort that many

51:55

adults have of not knowing how to address this

51:57

subject themselves with their partners. How the fuck do

51:59

they They need, nobody taught us how to talk to kids

52:01

about this. And so for me,

52:04

all of the best education comes in

52:06

entertaining experiences. What if we used the

52:09

power that we have nowadays to harness

52:11

dopamine, like to harness that attention and

52:14

to turn it towards things that would help our

52:16

physical 3D bodies experience the

52:18

world better? And so for me, it also looks holistic,

52:20

right? Like sex is never just sex, like you said,

52:22

it's our brains. And what makes our brains comfortable? Sleep,

52:25

good food, exercise. I know

52:27

these are things that people like roll their eyes

52:29

and they're like, well, how could we possibly? But

52:31

it's like, well, I mean, yeah, maybe we need

52:33

a societal overhaul to make sure that those priorities

52:35

that like bring us pleasure actually

52:38

are available. Maybe we need to be

52:40

talking more about what lifestyles look like

52:43

that can help people be

52:45

on paths that veer away from

52:48

deep anxiety and depression and all the

52:50

hard things that come with screen

52:53

addictions or sedentary lifestyles or

52:55

processed foods and all of that. And so I think for

52:57

me, I'm also always

52:59

operating in the realm of the positive, not the

53:01

negative. So I'm like, for

53:03

myself, setting up a life

53:05

where I eat delicious, nutritious food and

53:08

find ways that are pleasing to me

53:10

to move my body and find,

53:13

you know, I've spent the last five

53:15

or six years researching types of communication

53:17

that helped me connect with people. And

53:19

that's something that I'm always

53:21

working on and I continue to find

53:23

a challenge. But opening up

53:25

those resources in a place where people can

53:28

browse on their own and then there are

53:30

workshops, regular workshops, probably on the weekends so

53:32

that, you know, at times where people can come

53:34

and be, and then maybe

53:36

in the mornings, there's yoga classes there. Like I really

53:38

seek, and if there was a space like that

53:40

that was basically like, you know, as

53:43

common as a Starbucks, that would be ideal. Like

53:45

if that, and if sex shops were that common

53:47

and maybe mixed in with good food, I don't

53:49

know, you know, and I dream of then having

53:51

a larger space, probably out in the middle

53:53

of the desert, like, but again, this would take huge

53:56

political, big dollars, but I'm like, what if

53:58

there were a space? where this

54:01

is the grown-ups section and

54:03

then this is the family-friendly section and during

54:05

the day, you know, this is the part where we focus

54:07

on non-sexual creativity and art because I

54:09

really think that sex is our original creativity

54:11

and then over there that's where the grown-ups get

54:14

to go learn and play and maybe have

54:16

sex workers who come in for

54:18

that threesome or who are teaching the workshop

54:20

or maybe there is an event

54:22

for swingers or open people that

54:25

starts with a human connection

54:27

that starts with ground rules and I

54:29

know there are some spaces to do this really

54:32

well I've been interviewing people and learning about that but

54:34

where you know The use of

54:36

dental dams or laurels and condoms is

54:38

normalized because that's my biggest problem with

54:40

play spaces is it's like yeah, yeah,

54:42

yeah be safe use protection get consent,

54:44

but it's like I Need

54:47

more explicit discussion about what that is like

54:49

And I think working that into the event

54:51

working that into the space and then having

54:53

it supported by everyone who works there You

54:55

know at the largest level I'm like, yes

54:58

It's a giant creativity resort, you know mixed

55:00

where the kids are safely taken care of

55:02

where they get to practice kind of the

55:04

Montessori or Waldorf style schooling

55:07

and then everyone gets to kind

55:10

of you know live in a

55:12

world where it's safe and Judgment

55:14

free or whatever judgment

55:17

is a human thing it comes up, but

55:19

inevitably we would be able to discover How

55:22

to deal with the pokey parts of

55:25

humanity, right? Right and overall you're giving

55:27

them tools. Yeah in my mind it's

55:30

Similar to a science museum where you have to

55:32

look feel free to touch Yeah,

55:35

as long as you respect the

55:37

exhibit and you want to learn you're welcome here

55:39

And that's the type of stuff that I'm like

55:41

Well, I don't I don't have the budget or

55:43

the bandwidth or enough patrons yet to

55:45

make that happen But what I'm

55:47

moving toward I think and I don't know how to

55:49

balance this with the work that I do on the

55:51

podcast Is as I cross off my

55:53

bucket list I want to invite

55:56

people who are comfortable to join me in that

55:58

way so that I can be the example exhibit

56:00

myself and be an example and be like, no, no,

56:02

no, I promise, a juridic entertainment, it's the way of

56:04

the future so that we can have some sort of

56:07

connection. Because I hear from so many people

56:09

who are struggling with basic human

56:11

connection beyond touch, but touch is a huge part of

56:13

that. And I also know

56:15

many people who get the touch, but

56:18

they just sort of want to have

56:20

this eye-is-closed, casual, I don't even

56:22

want to, it's just stranger sex and learn, when

56:24

I talk to them more deeply, it's because they

56:26

don't feel good enough in this way, or they

56:28

want to be accepted in that way, and there's

56:30

fear, which I also relate

56:32

to, that alienation. Absolutely. So yeah,

56:34

so at the largest level, I'm like, yes,

56:36

there are online components, and it's integrated with,

56:39

we would need one of the major tech

56:41

companies to kind of hop on board, so

56:43

we could, and then the educational classes, and

56:46

it's like you get your little badges, and

56:48

you're allowed into certain spaces when you have

56:50

this certain level of education, and it's all relational,

56:52

right? So there's at least two people vouching for

56:54

every other person, so there's, basically, I

56:57

spend a lot of time noodling on ways

56:59

to kind of

57:01

bring back some of the social expectations

57:04

that has been, I think, lost with

57:06

the rise of the internet, where people

57:08

feel free to just be very, very

57:10

rude, you know, and as much as I like

57:12

spaces like Setlife, where people are free to kind of like share

57:14

their kinks, and let their freak flags fly,

57:17

like I really feel like I'm experiencing a

57:19

lot of imbalance in the sense of, I'm

57:21

public, or at

57:23

least why I leave public. Right. And

57:25

I get a lot of messages

57:27

from people who are like, why do I love

57:30

you? I'm not even gonna tell you my real

57:32

name. I am married, and this obviously has to

57:34

be a secret, but do you wanna go on

57:36

a date? And I'm like, well, no. If you

57:38

won't even be a guest on sex stories with

57:40

an alias, what are we doing here? So

57:42

as much as I like spaces like Setlife, where people

57:44

are free to be themselves,

57:46

I'm like, but hey, everyone

57:49

who works at a corporation, and couldn't

57:51

possibly, if we were all honest about

57:53

what we were doing in respectful ways,

57:56

they can't fire us all. Especially

57:58

people at the middle. and lower tiers like

58:01

they can't function without all of us and I

58:03

think the society that we're in is just ridiculous.

58:05

So there's a long-winded answer to say I have

58:07

many layers of this dream and also I didn't

58:09

even get to my mobile dungeon playships so you

58:11

know and that would be the roaming one to

58:13

kind of fill in the gaps because obviously we

58:16

could only start in one giant location, maybe the

58:18

giant location first, maybe little locations first, I don't

58:20

know, maybe just playships first and have

58:22

those kind of like roving around like like a book

58:24

share. I think it's beautiful especially

58:27

in this holistic view.

58:29

I mean they talk about that in nursing all

58:31

the time. It's holistic, it's holistic on

58:34

the patient end of things. I'm trying to find

58:36

out what their goals are and pull from different

58:38

resources and what they need if it's physical

58:40

therapy, occupational therapy, if they need

58:42

music therapy, what have you and

58:44

in this holistic view of sex,

58:47

let me know what your goals are and I

58:50

will pull from different resources so we can get

58:52

you to where you want to be. And

58:55

you know and think about too the

58:57

impact that if we lived in a

58:59

world where holistic health were actually valued,

59:01

it would completely impact and disrupt

59:03

and I understand that's why it's not happening

59:05

the way that our medical

59:07

industry works, the way that the pharmaceutical industry works,

59:09

the way that... Tell me about it. I know,

59:11

I know you know, you know and so these

59:14

are all big dreams. We'll see how far I

59:16

can get to, how far I can go. I

59:18

would obviously need a business partner with much better

59:20

social skills and huge budgets but a

59:22

girl can dream, you know and the

59:24

more basic level that feels more accessible to

59:26

me is my future sci-fi, sex ed, future

59:28

film musical, Mission 69 which is all about

59:30

making, taking care of each other the norm

59:33

which is not part of our culture which

59:35

I think is very sad and in the

59:37

meantime I'm trying to figure out how to do the

59:39

podcast and maybe also just do TikTok versions. I don't know

59:42

and battling censorship, you know so yeah in

59:44

my perfect world. The legislators

59:47

who I understand they

59:49

believe that they're well intentioned by blocking

59:51

information and I just really wonder what it would be

59:53

like to sit down with them and have a conversation

59:56

to be like, hey do you realize the amount of

59:58

harm that is coming out of this silence? All

1:00:00

these big it's violent and cycles of it. So tell

1:00:02

me about it. Yeah. Okay

1:00:04

So we've already gotten some delicious

1:00:07

details about your work, but I'd

1:00:09

love to hear like how important

1:00:12

is sex in your life And

1:00:15

how are you making the world affects your more loving

1:00:17

place? Yeah, so Many

1:00:19

made not have known either

1:00:21

coming from the ranch or otherwise But

1:00:24

before I started working at cherries,

1:00:26

I only had one sexual partner

1:00:28

and I Began

1:00:31

to go through trial on error on

1:00:33

what was working for me and what wasn't working

1:00:36

for me in my sex life and

1:00:38

so I kind of put myself in his

1:00:40

own container of Oh Camille's

1:00:44

the quiet one Camille doesn't do stuff

1:00:46

like that. What would people think if Camille did this?

1:00:50

But in regards to the importance of sex

1:00:53

it has had this gradual incline

1:00:55

in my life that

1:00:57

when I had that realization of This

1:01:00

feels good and this feels good that I

1:01:02

can provide for people used to be on

1:01:04

the lower end of things like three

1:01:07

ish maybe because

1:01:10

I was just so oriented

1:01:12

on other things like my

1:01:14

other work or Perhaps

1:01:17

my own internal shame of like I don't

1:01:19

want that to go any higher like I've

1:01:21

heard about things where those

1:01:24

who have say on a

1:01:26

scale of zero to ten if they're on the higher end

1:01:28

of that scale then you know, stigma

1:01:30

stigma stigma and When

1:01:33

I just took this

1:01:35

total 180 to take this

1:01:37

jump to go into the ranch I

1:01:40

thought wow, it can be higher and that's

1:01:43

great. It's so great I

1:01:46

would say it's very important. It's important

1:01:48

for me to taste the different flavors

1:01:50

of life and look

1:01:53

within myself on what is Happy

1:01:57

for me. What is creative for me?

1:01:59

me, what is logistical for

1:02:02

me? And

1:02:04

integrating that within the

1:02:06

sexual aspect of things that,

1:02:09

wow, I get to use

1:02:11

the tools that I have and

1:02:13

spread knowledge and spread experiences in

1:02:16

a safe way, in a clean

1:02:18

way, in a sexy way. Maybe

1:02:20

I'll just spread some butt cheeks,

1:02:22

spread some blades. Yeah, whatever,

1:02:24

right? Whatever, anything goes. That

1:02:27

was a beautiful thing that I understood

1:02:29

through my sex work. I didn't hear

1:02:31

about things like the

1:02:33

Kinsey Institute until after I

1:02:36

started sex work. And I thought, wow, either

1:02:38

through my own experience or the hard data, anything

1:02:41

goes. Anything goes. And

1:02:43

we're all wanting to

1:02:46

experience these different flavors of life,

1:02:48

but we're not talking about it.

1:02:50

We're just internalizing it. And it's not

1:02:52

until somebody is sitting down such as this

1:02:54

and talking about it. And

1:02:57

that's when the shame meter was trying to

1:02:59

go down. And I was like, wow,

1:03:01

anything does go. And it's great.

1:03:06

Making the world a sexier, more loving place by

1:03:08

helping people experience pleasure and joy and

1:03:10

learning and welcoming things that

1:03:12

might be shamed in other places. How

1:03:14

did you get here? How did you go from

1:03:17

one partner out in the wild to a

1:03:20

brothel? And then like, when

1:03:22

did you realize you were bisexual? Right. So

1:03:24

I've been asked this question a lot because

1:03:26

people will hear that I am a nurse.

1:03:29

And it really was

1:03:31

a pandemic. I was so burned

1:03:33

out. And maybe you've heard of

1:03:36

the term compassion fatigue or social

1:03:38

fatigue. And I had

1:03:41

learned about the ranches out in

1:03:43

Nevada. And I was like, cool.

1:03:46

What did you learn about them? It must have been

1:03:48

through like a little segment on YouTube, like a

1:03:50

little like five minute documentary.

1:03:52

I can't pinpoint when because when I

1:03:55

started that, then I wanted to learn

1:03:57

everything about just because it was so

1:03:59

interesting. relatable. Yeah. Where

1:04:02

it just was different. It was different

1:04:04

and it was so close to where

1:04:06

I was. I thought,

1:04:08

wow, this is a thing. Like I always thought that it

1:04:10

was, it was

1:04:12

illegal. It was otherwise, and

1:04:14

it was just framed in such a great way that this

1:04:18

is a thing and it provides

1:04:20

a lot of benefits for everybody

1:04:22

involved. So I kind of

1:04:24

shrugged it off and said, great, not for me. Like,

1:04:28

Camille doesn't do that. I wouldn't do that.

1:04:30

But honestly, it's the quiet ones. But

1:04:38

that was before the pandemic. And when

1:04:40

things started to really get a little

1:04:43

bit on the decline trends of pandemic, I worked through

1:04:45

2020 and the majority of 2021. And

1:04:47

I thought that I need to take

1:04:53

a step back. And you take a

1:04:55

step back and this was always on the back

1:04:57

burner. And I thought, I'll

1:04:59

give it a try. A part

1:05:01

of me is also realizing, did I

1:05:04

just have like a screw it moment? Like,

1:05:06

screw it, the world's ending. I'm going to

1:05:08

do this instead. But I also

1:05:10

felt like I got into a profession

1:05:13

of caring, where I wasn't able

1:05:15

to care for people in ways

1:05:17

that I wanted to. There's a

1:05:19

lot of

1:05:21

my nursing aspects. I go into sex work.

1:05:23

Of course, sex work never ever, ever, ever

1:05:25

goes into my nursing work. But I was

1:05:27

able to pull a lot of that into

1:05:30

my sex work that wasn't even sexual,

1:05:33

that provided a listening

1:05:35

ear. And I was so

1:05:37

surprised to find out when I got started

1:05:39

of how much it

1:05:42

is of just therapeutic talk

1:05:44

and touch. And then

1:05:46

it can escalate into other things. Sometimes you just get

1:05:48

people where they're just like, I want a

1:05:50

five minute quickie and like no talking. I

1:05:53

was like, fine, sure, no worries. So

1:05:56

if those on the back burner, I took

1:05:58

a look around at all. the different

1:06:00

ranches are in Nevada and the different counties

1:06:02

and what their legislation is. I

1:06:05

found that the best fit for me

1:06:07

was at Cherries. I applied. I

1:06:10

was so surprised because it was just

1:06:12

like applying for any other job. There's

1:06:14

an online form and we give some

1:06:16

details about ourselves. We provide

1:06:18

a few pictures, but I also went,

1:06:20

this is probably faux pas by now,

1:06:22

but I also reached out

1:06:24

to our madam as well,

1:06:26

like an extra layer because I just

1:06:28

had no clue of how this all works.

1:06:30

There's not a manual

1:06:33

on how any of this legal

1:06:35

sex work really is. No, there's not. No, there's

1:06:37

not. And that's why I am researching the Horarchy

1:06:39

because I'm like, what the fuck is happening with

1:06:41

sex and commerce? Oh, social skills are part of

1:06:43

all that? Lying is part of it? Honestly is

1:06:45

a part of it. I don't get it. Yeah,

1:06:47

exactly. Exactly. I was like, I don't know what I'm

1:06:49

doing, so I'm just going to try and talk to

1:06:52

a person rather than talk to an online form. It

1:06:55

just goes out into... Who

1:06:58

knows? Exactly. If

1:07:00

this was in a physical mail form, did it

1:07:02

just go into a mailbox slot? That

1:07:04

is just like, question mark? So

1:07:07

I feel like I reached out to her

1:07:09

because I wanted to at least let

1:07:12

them know that my application was in,

1:07:14

but also provide a space where I

1:07:16

could talk a little bit more about myself. And

1:07:19

I was accepted. And

1:07:21

I thought, oh, okay. I was

1:07:23

asked, can you come in next week? Oh,

1:07:26

wow. That's fast. Did you? I did. I

1:07:28

did. Because I

1:07:30

had already pulled away from my nursing job

1:07:32

a little bit. I was just too tired.

1:07:34

And I had this

1:07:37

free time available and I was ready to take

1:07:39

that leap. And from my

1:07:42

understanding, they had opened

1:07:44

up in May of 2021 after, I

1:07:46

believe this is an 18 month closure

1:07:48

or 16 month closure,

1:07:50

Nevada wide due to the pandemic.

1:07:54

And when I got there, it

1:07:56

was so... different

1:08:00

in a good way. In a good way. So

1:08:02

different from what? From my usual 12 hour shift.

1:08:06

Nursing work. That

1:08:09

we are independent contractors and I'll

1:08:11

use another analogy here. So

1:08:14

in my nursing life, let's

1:08:16

say I'm so good at putting in

1:08:19

IVs. Yeah. So good. Like I got

1:08:21

you. You could do needle put.

1:08:23

Yeah. Oh. But not

1:08:25

at the ranch, right? Cause fluid.

1:08:27

Exactly. Exactly. That's bloodborne pathogens. But

1:08:30

there is an absolutely safe way to do it

1:08:32

at home. Yeah. Or I

1:08:34

can do like ultrasound IV where

1:08:36

we can look inside your arm and

1:08:39

we don't have to go digging around too much. If

1:08:41

you have hidden veins, we can go get

1:08:43

them. My veins are out loud. Yeah.

1:08:46

They're like, we're here, we're green, we're poking out. Yeah. Which

1:08:49

turn on vasculature. Oh,

1:08:51

love those veins. Like

1:08:53

if I can get a 16 gauge IV in

1:08:56

with like a blindfold and just

1:08:58

go, oh. 16 big

1:09:00

or small? Big. Okay. Yeah.

1:09:03

The smaller the number, the bigger the opening

1:09:05

is. Okay. Okay. But whenever

1:09:07

I would chart it out,

1:09:10

that would get billed to the patient. And

1:09:13

I would, I do make hourly as a

1:09:15

nurse and I wouldn't see

1:09:18

any of it really. I

1:09:20

would get my hourly and that was it. And

1:09:23

I was wishing that I could have

1:09:25

some sort of value or merit

1:09:28

behind what I did. And

1:09:31

so being an independent contractor was

1:09:33

really appealing that we could name our own

1:09:36

price and we could have

1:09:38

our own boundaries and our own areas

1:09:41

that we could specialize in. But they're allowed to

1:09:43

be a person. Exactly. A regular sexual

1:09:45

person. Well, maybe not regular. I don't know if

1:09:47

none of us are regular. One of my favorite

1:09:49

stories is when I first got started, I wasn't

1:09:52

on the floor quite yet and I was just

1:09:54

hanging in a ladies room in there. I got

1:09:56

so much help along the way. And it was

1:09:58

very, very, very. great

1:10:00

environment to start learning especially and that's

1:10:03

exactly what I needed. I had no idea on how

1:10:05

any of this worked and this

1:10:08

lady got a call while I was in the room and she

1:10:12

got a request so that's when we go

1:10:14

out to the bar to meet somebody if

1:10:16

we were asked or summoned. Okay, so like

1:10:18

the ranch calls her. Exactly. Exactly on phones

1:10:20

in our room. Okay, and it's

1:10:23

like blah blah blah is requesting

1:10:25

you and she said no, thank

1:10:27

you and hung up and that

1:10:30

just blew my mind. That just blew my

1:10:32

mind that you can just say no

1:10:34

and the world doesn't explode. That

1:10:38

it's okay that you can work within

1:10:40

your own comfort level and we are

1:10:42

allowed to refuse assignments

1:10:45

or refuse procedures if

1:10:47

we don't feel comfortable with them within the

1:10:49

healthcare setting. But you just

1:10:51

don't want to be that person because we're

1:10:53

so short-staffed and resources are already

1:10:56

spread so thin that everybody had to pull

1:10:58

their weight and everybody was I don't

1:11:00

mean to speak for everybody but

1:11:02

everybody was miserable. Yeah, miserable. Yeah,

1:11:04

patients were miserable, healthcare staff was miserable,

1:11:07

families were miserable, the population was

1:11:09

miserable. But

1:11:11

that just blew my mind that you could say no,

1:11:13

you don't have to do anything that you don't want to

1:11:15

do. You can give things a

1:11:18

try if you want to as long as it's safe

1:11:20

and like say with the genital check if even

1:11:23

if you see something that's questionable like maybe

1:11:25

it doesn't have a firm diagnosis or you

1:11:28

can get a second opinion and if

1:11:30

it's just a big question mark,

1:11:33

it's okay to say no because that's

1:11:35

all about being independent and being safe. Isn't

1:11:38

it cool? And

1:11:41

I got started and I

1:11:44

got a lot a lot of help along

1:11:46

the way but it really

1:11:49

reframed my way of thinking through the

1:11:51

past stigmas I had around sex work

1:11:53

of like, oh my gosh, these are

1:11:55

some of the most

1:11:57

brilliant people I know now. because

1:12:00

of we're just so

1:12:02

dynamic, we're so talented, we're so

1:12:05

smart, and we're loving

1:12:07

what we do. We're here on our own fruition

1:12:10

and it shows, it

1:12:12

shows and we have

1:12:15

a heck of a lot of fun doing it

1:12:17

too. So you went in just fully

1:12:19

by yourself. Fully by myself, I didn't

1:12:21

have any referrals or any word of

1:12:23

mouth, it was just based

1:12:25

on what I was able to scavenge up from

1:12:28

the internet. Wow. Were there other new ladies starting

1:12:30

at the same time as you? Not that I

1:12:32

remember. I didn't get a

1:12:34

formal orientation. I know that it was

1:12:36

pretty sparse that week in terms

1:12:38

of like other ladies there because things were just

1:12:41

opening up not too long ago and I

1:12:43

just kind of showed up and I don't even know if I

1:12:46

was supposed to like if it was communicated that I

1:12:48

was supposed to be there that week but they

1:12:50

said oh oh

1:12:52

you're here well sure

1:12:55

come on in and the

1:12:57

first party was like

1:12:59

five minutes after I hopped on to

1:13:01

the bar floor. You booked

1:13:03

a client right away basically. Yeah

1:13:06

like talk about baptism by fire. Oh my

1:13:08

god, always have a light. When you're nervous

1:13:11

I'm like ahhhh. I had

1:13:13

a very simple wardrobe

1:13:15

of what I thought I would want

1:13:17

to wear because previously I was you

1:13:20

know just in scrubs, civilian

1:13:22

clothes, whatever. Sometimes nothing

1:13:24

at all. And

1:13:27

I was walking out to the bar because I had cleared that

1:13:29

day and my room was all ready to go. What

1:13:32

is cleared? Oh right medically cleared.

1:13:34

Medically cleared and cleared with the

1:13:36

sheriff's department. That we're fingerprinted

1:13:39

quarterly and given a background check to

1:13:41

make sure that we don't have any new felonies under

1:13:44

a belt because within my county we can't work

1:13:46

with any felonies under a belt. Or

1:13:48

sometimes there are other stipulations like if you're behind

1:13:50

on child support payments then

1:13:53

you can't. There are just different

1:13:55

rules for different counties. So I

1:13:57

medically cleared within the ranch. we

1:14:00

test for HIV, chlamydia, syphilis,

1:14:02

and gonorrhea, and that's

1:14:04

through blood draw and cervical swab. So

1:14:06

that gets cleared, cleared with the

1:14:09

sheriff's department. My room's all ready to go. Okay,

1:14:12

now we're stepping on the bar floor. Because I don't

1:14:15

have a clientele. I don't have a clientele so it's

1:14:17

time to go into the bar

1:14:19

and go make some friends. And

1:14:21

I get eye contact with an

1:14:23

individual and I just continue

1:14:25

working because I don't know the rules of

1:14:27

how the bar works quite yet. I don't

1:14:29

want to do any dirty hustle or anything

1:14:32

like that. And another woman approaches him and

1:14:34

points to me and says, do you want

1:14:36

to talk to her? He says yes. I

1:14:38

was wearing a red dress. What a babble we

1:14:40

call him. That's what I was thinking. He's like,

1:14:43

gosh, thank you so much. And

1:14:45

that really set the environment as like, we

1:14:48

uplift here. We support each other.

1:14:50

We see each other in our post sex

1:14:53

robes and we cheer that on. And hear

1:14:57

the story. Right, right. And

1:14:59

it's just wonderful. So we went

1:15:01

back to my room and

1:15:03

it was refreshing to hear

1:15:05

that I could just talk about it

1:15:08

so blatantly. And I mean, in terms

1:15:10

of like, sexual activity. How was that

1:15:12

for you? Like, fresh in and also like, you

1:15:15

had experienced one person at that point.

1:15:17

Right, right. That it was refreshing.

1:15:19

It was just refreshing asking

1:15:22

him what he was

1:15:24

looking for and how I can help with

1:15:26

that. And set

1:15:29

a price. We booked and I

1:15:31

was just going based on what I was taught

1:15:33

of, okay, now it's time for the general check.

1:15:35

We go book in the office. We'll go back

1:15:37

to my room. We'll get your shower. And for

1:15:39

30 seconds with soap and water, please. I

1:15:42

have a little safety chat

1:15:44

and they will

1:15:46

just go. And everybody

1:15:48

has to like, dip their toes in

1:15:51

a little bit. And it went

1:15:53

fine. It wasn't scary. It

1:15:55

wasn't scary at all. And I can understand

1:15:57

that for those who do come in, it

1:15:59

is. is a little intimidating,

1:16:01

there is that aspect of the

1:16:03

unknown. Because that information

1:16:05

isn't out there unless you go looking for

1:16:08

it or unless you come all the way

1:16:10

in. And there's

1:16:12

just no way to know. There's no

1:16:14

way to know about how things go

1:16:16

without, say, previously emailing. And

1:16:19

even then, we can only give in

1:16:21

so much information. Right. What

1:16:23

are you allowed to share? What are you not allowed to share? Yeah.

1:16:25

So, if you're a lady in the room, if you're wanting to reach

1:16:27

out to a lady at the ranch, we can

1:16:30

talk about most things. We can't

1:16:32

talk about prices. And

1:16:34

that's just within the legislation. I wish we

1:16:36

could talk about prices. But

1:16:39

if you have a certain lady in mind, it's

1:16:41

totally acceptable to see if the fancy you have

1:16:44

in mind with intention. I

1:16:46

don't want any way to think that you

1:16:48

can just open up a conversation just for

1:16:50

the conversation's sake as much as I love

1:16:52

conversation. I'd like to say that more

1:16:55

for in-person at the ranch. I

1:16:57

just feel like it's more intimate that way. My

1:16:59

understanding of talking to ladies also is that they

1:17:02

could say, yes, I'll do this, no, I won't do this, and

1:17:04

the specifics have to happen. Yeah. Connectivity

1:17:06

is part of the conversation. Say that's part of the no-no. Exactly.

1:17:09

Exactly. We do get

1:17:11

a lot of questions about the ranch

1:17:13

and how it's all processed, like what

1:17:15

to expect when you get here. And

1:17:18

that can just differ from person to

1:17:20

person. And sometimes it's just so,

1:17:22

I wish I could just give this information.

1:17:25

So sometimes things just have to wait until

1:17:27

you come to the ranch. But

1:17:30

from there, I feel like the scariest thing is

1:17:32

just getting through the front door. As long as

1:17:34

you're getting through the front door, then you're my

1:17:36

guest, you're here with me, I

1:17:39

can help you out. Just take care of it.

1:17:41

Right. So in

1:17:43

terms of emails, I would say take a

1:17:45

look at the website, email a couple of

1:17:48

ladies you have in mind. It can be

1:17:50

a scheduling thing that maybe that individual is

1:17:52

not ready on Tuesday at

1:17:54

4 p.m. But you have a

1:17:56

schedule in mind that can help plan

1:17:58

out your visit a little bit. bit easier

1:18:01

rather than the overwhelming

1:18:04

aspect of like, well, I want to see

1:18:06

her, but oh, she's not available and oh,

1:18:08

I'm already shaken up a little bit, which

1:18:10

is totally understandable. Like I was there too.

1:18:12

I was there too coming into

1:18:15

this world as a provider. I could

1:18:17

imagine that it's a mix of nervousness

1:18:20

and excitement all in one. And are

1:18:22

they really very different, right? It's the story we tell

1:18:24

around it. I'm like, if you sign up for true

1:18:26

adventure, I mean, that's been my personal experiences. I

1:18:29

don't know what I'm getting into most

1:18:32

of the time in all of my

1:18:34

research, anecdotal research, explorations, explorations, but I

1:18:36

am so down for the adventure and

1:18:38

then, you know, when I know I'll

1:18:40

be okay. But my question for you now is

1:18:42

like, after that first party, were you like, oh, I'm

1:18:44

in, this is for me? Or like, at what point were

1:18:47

you like, oh, I like this work? Because

1:18:49

you've been doing it over two years now. Right, right.

1:18:51

I know we can't talk about hard

1:18:53

numbers, but the booking that I had

1:18:55

that first time, I won't,

1:18:58

like I said, I won't say hard numbers, but if

1:19:00

you're going to go make some comparisons on

1:19:02

your own time, go right ahead. But

1:19:04

that amount that I booked in

1:19:06

15 minutes, I made a day worth

1:19:08

of nursing. And

1:19:12

I logged it in my book,

1:19:14

recorded it in some way. And I

1:19:16

thought, wow, it

1:19:18

was safe. It was consensual.

1:19:20

I had fun doing it. I

1:19:23

was able to help somebody in their own

1:19:25

way and provide care in my own way,

1:19:27

behind that, meaning my prices. And

1:19:31

I was just, my jaw was on the

1:19:33

floor. Like that just happened. That

1:19:35

just happened. I believe I

1:19:37

was there for two weeks

1:19:40

initially. And I

1:19:42

had booked a

1:19:44

year worth of nursing in two weeks. For

1:19:47

our listeners, I just want to clarify a couple

1:19:49

points. Because when you say you made and you

1:19:51

booked, Right. Booking is the number,

1:19:54

like a big number. And then what you

1:19:56

make is after the 50% or whatever. It's

1:19:59

50%. percent but then it's different

1:20:01

things right? Exactly. So I

1:20:04

guess I made half. I

1:20:06

booked the yearly amount of nursing

1:20:08

but I made half of

1:20:10

that in two weeks.

1:20:12

So I thought

1:20:14

oh I remember

1:20:17

there were two hands like on my

1:20:19

forehead when I had booked like

1:20:21

a four-figure party and I

1:20:23

was telling the front desk like this

1:20:26

this this is a thing this is

1:20:28

a thing and I

1:20:31

was having a good time doing it

1:20:33

but in a way that I could

1:20:35

help people I mean I really

1:20:39

had a baptism by fire it was a

1:20:41

lot of fun that I got virgins and

1:20:43

I got couples and I had

1:20:45

individuals who were widowed or

1:20:48

newly divorced and I

1:20:50

felt like I had that social know-how

1:20:52

through the healthcare world but I was

1:20:55

bringing it over into this brand new

1:20:57

sex work world and

1:21:00

I felt so privileged

1:21:02

that I could be there yeah so

1:21:04

I kept them in bed and

1:21:07

again and again and the

1:21:10

experiences that I get to share with

1:21:12

people and my

1:21:14

own art form in a way to

1:21:17

implement into this world I came

1:21:20

from a world in healthcare that

1:21:22

it was very strict by the

1:21:24

book for reasons for absolute safety

1:21:26

reasons and making sure that

1:21:28

we're not just going willy-nilly on certain

1:21:30

things it has to be on evidence-based

1:21:32

practice but here I

1:21:34

have a little more wiggle room that I

1:21:36

can be a little more creative I can be a

1:21:40

little more spontaneous and

1:21:42

fun as long as all

1:21:45

or those in the party feel good about it and

1:21:49

I love it I really do

1:21:51

amazing I oh

1:21:54

are so many things that I want

1:21:56

to ask you about first I just

1:21:58

imagine that it's so hot to

1:22:00

be valued so concretely. You know, as a

1:22:02

person who gets a lot of requests for

1:22:04

free time and attention, and I'm like, don't

1:22:07

you understand that in order to skip all

1:22:09

the steps of intimacy and trust

1:22:11

building, there needs to be some sort of exchange

1:22:13

here. You know, that's what people are paying for

1:22:15

at the ranch. It's like instant, instant rent. I

1:22:17

would love to hear what the evolution over two

1:22:19

years has been like for you. Like, what have

1:22:21

you learned? What are the takeaways? And kind of

1:22:23

like, I don't know if there's stories

1:22:26

in there that you want to kind of like pepper

1:22:28

in, or just the person you find most gratifying, or

1:22:30

how your own creativity has had an opportunity to flourish

1:22:32

in that time. Yeah. And I do feel that

1:22:35

success, however you define that,

1:22:37

isn't linear. As long as

1:22:39

you have a goal in mind and you're making

1:22:42

that, even a small exponential change over time, you'll

1:22:44

get there. Sometimes within this

1:22:46

graph, you have dips and humps,

1:22:48

but overall, it's like a raffle. Right,

1:22:50

right. It's a positive incline. Or maybe it goes

1:22:52

down. That's okay. But

1:22:56

if you have a goal in mind, try to make the steps

1:22:58

and go get it. But

1:23:00

it was absolutely an evolution

1:23:02

where, especially in terms of

1:23:05

giving free time or setting boundaries, that

1:23:08

I could be vocal on things. And

1:23:10

you can either respect that, or if

1:23:12

you don't, then it's time to go.

1:23:14

We also have resources that if we

1:23:16

do have to get security involved, that

1:23:18

it's there. Knock on wood hasn't

1:23:21

happened yet. But

1:23:23

it really was that previously I felt

1:23:25

that, not that I didn't have a

1:23:27

voice, but I'm here as a provider

1:23:29

and something's uncomfortable.

1:23:32

Either my positioning is off, or

1:23:35

maybe their touch is a little too rough, that I

1:23:37

would just kind of take it. I would just go

1:23:41

with it. And I thought,

1:23:43

this is their thing. I don't want

1:23:45

to throw off their groove. But

1:23:47

now, it's like, nope,

1:23:49

nope, we are absolutely saying that

1:23:52

we like what I

1:23:54

want as what would really be

1:23:56

hot as you went a little bit to

1:23:58

the left. And after. Like what if

1:24:00

that was in all the communication? I

1:24:02

know I speak to many people who are excellent

1:24:04

communicators with their partners and they have to roof

1:24:07

down or they're just like communication ninjas and it

1:24:09

comes easily to them or they have that self-assertion.

1:24:11

But it's like I think

1:24:13

most people who I speak with who

1:24:15

have any care for individuals outside themselves

1:24:17

which is to say you know anyone

1:24:19

who is not a narcissist, they want

1:24:22

that kind of guidance. They want that feedback.

1:24:24

You know I imagine you get people who

1:24:26

also want to please you just as much as

1:24:28

they want you to please them. Right and that

1:24:30

was a new concept for me as well and

1:24:33

a hot one too because it was like oh you

1:24:36

want to know about what I like? Well here,

1:24:38

here let me show you. So

1:24:41

it was just about finding a voice. In

1:24:43

the nursing world it was of no problem

1:24:45

to me to advocate for patients and families.

1:24:47

No problem. But if

1:24:50

it was an off day, doctors

1:24:52

having a bad day, doctors yelling at me that

1:24:54

I would just shrink up, you know

1:24:56

get this shield going and just

1:24:59

take it. But then I

1:25:01

realized like no I hear and what is

1:25:03

kind of projecting out into my civilian life

1:25:05

too is that I can't speak for myself

1:25:08

and I can say when something

1:25:11

is okay or not and if it's

1:25:13

respected, thank you. If

1:25:16

not, then we

1:25:18

need to reevaluate things here and usually in the

1:25:20

form of you're out of here. Yeah,

1:25:22

have you had to do that? Like have you had to

1:25:24

kick people out? A couple times. A couple times. Usually it's

1:25:26

in the form of boundary pushing. And

1:25:28

I was mentioning earlier like three strikes and you're out.

1:25:30

I feel like that's a fair rule. Perhaps

1:25:33

the first time was on accident. The second

1:25:35

time, hmm what's going on here?

1:25:37

Third time, alright. Out of here. Do you

1:25:40

feel comfortable sharing some of the boundaries that

1:25:42

maybe people are pushing whether

1:25:44

it's on accident or becomes clear that

1:25:46

it's like intentional? Yeah. It

1:25:48

was very surprising to me where people would

1:25:51

come in and they're looking for oral sex

1:25:53

on me. Or oral sex on them. And

1:25:55

it's like great, wonderful. I love doing it. Though

1:25:58

I just want to let you know. that

1:26:00

when it's for oral sex on a penis owner,

1:26:02

there has to be a condom in place. And

1:26:05

if there's oral sex on me or another

1:26:08

lady, there has to be a dental dam

1:26:10

and there, I can not count how many

1:26:12

times I've heard, what's a dental dam? Great,

1:26:16

now we have a learning opportunity here. For

1:26:18

our listeners who maybe don't know what a dental dam is,

1:26:20

it's a square. It

1:26:23

can be a square of latex

1:26:25

or neoprene that goes over the

1:26:27

vulva area that prevents any transmission

1:26:29

of fluid, say vaginal fluids, saliva

1:26:31

from intermingling. And at least for

1:26:33

me, I feel like it is

1:26:35

a lot better than skin on

1:26:37

skin, or say mouth on vulva

1:26:40

because there's friction there for me. My

1:26:42

clit is so sensitive, I'm like, I need laurels

1:26:45

or, you know, and I like the extra

1:26:47

coverage of the square because sometimes with laurels,

1:26:49

I'm like holding it anyway, but I'm like,

1:26:51

you're a little girl, you're a little girl,

1:26:53

especially with a partner I don't know that

1:26:55

well. Right? But regarding the dental

1:26:57

dams, I can still feel the

1:26:59

pressure, I can feel movement

1:27:02

of the tongue and the lips, I can

1:27:04

feel suction, and it's even

1:27:06

sexier because there's protection in place. But

1:27:09

when I do hear a lot of pushback

1:27:11

in terms of like, well, we can do

1:27:13

without it, like, oh, like, do we really

1:27:15

need that? Then that's starting to question their

1:27:18

motives on am I gonna be safe

1:27:20

in this situation? And I

1:27:22

don't wanna be putting myself in a

1:27:24

situation where they'll say

1:27:26

that they'll adhere to the mandated practices and

1:27:29

act otherwise.

1:27:32

Kissing is also a thing I don't do just

1:27:35

because it can spread HPV,

1:27:37

HSC, and when I get

1:27:40

pushback about on that, great. It's another learning

1:27:42

opportunity that I'll tell them, well,

1:27:45

HPV does transfer

1:27:47

orally, and it can go and detect

1:27:49

it and then stem into olferential cancer.

1:27:51

And then when they see it- Or

1:27:53

penis owners as well. Exactly.

1:27:56

There we go. Penis owners are not concerned about HPV

1:27:58

because they're like, I don't have a cervix. I don't worry about

1:28:00

cervical cancer. Exactly. OK. There you go.

1:28:02

Exactly. Other cancers to worry about. So

1:28:06

when that concrete information is

1:28:08

in place, it's a, oh, OK.

1:28:11

We won't. And it has

1:28:13

been really refreshing that when I do bring

1:28:16

out that information of kindly,

1:28:19

gently informing them

1:28:21

why I don't. But also, NO period

1:28:24

can be a full sentence, too. Right. And it is

1:28:26

the law, fluid exchange, you're not supposed to do, right?

1:28:28

Exactly. Exactly. So that's just

1:28:30

where it gets in place of, this

1:28:33

is why we don't do it. I don't do this. But

1:28:35

there's still a plethora of different activities that

1:28:38

we can engage in to still have a

1:28:40

great time. What are you looking for? How

1:28:42

can I help with that? Yeah. OK. So it sounds

1:28:44

like those are the less sexy parts of the

1:28:47

job. What are some of the

1:28:49

parts? I mean, obviously, the sex is very sexy.

1:28:51

But do you want to talk about

1:28:53

role play? Do you want to talk about your turn

1:28:55

ons? We've talked about reciprocity. I'd love

1:28:57

to hear a little bit more about maybe

1:28:59

some specifics, and then also your relationship with

1:29:01

freedom. Yeah, which is a really

1:29:03

neat, evolving one, because it went

1:29:06

from I had myself in

1:29:08

this really small, cramped, metaphorical

1:29:10

cage of, I don't do that. Yeah,

1:29:12

I don't do this. I

1:29:14

don't want to do that. But the

1:29:17

time at the ranch, sexual or otherwise, has taught

1:29:19

me that I should at least give it a

1:29:21

try, as long as it's safe. Does it feel

1:29:23

like it should? Yeah. Mm.

1:29:26

OK. The first tour I

1:29:28

had afterwards, I went skydiving. Yeah.

1:29:32

Because I was like, I'm going to do this. I'm

1:29:34

going to do this. And it seemed like such a

1:29:36

great idea when I hit book online. When I was

1:29:38

in the plane, I was shaking. Really? I was shaking.

1:29:40

And I was like, oh my god. I

1:29:43

did it, but I also use that as another metaphor

1:29:46

of people coming to the ranch, that it's very nerve-wracking

1:29:48

when you're up in the air, and you're about to

1:29:50

take this leap into the unknown.

1:29:52

And you're not quite sure how it's going

1:29:54

to feel, or how it's going to

1:29:56

sound, or how you're going to feel

1:29:59

afterwards. With my skydiving

1:30:01

incident. I was like wow, this is so

1:30:03

much fun. I landed in tandem

1:30:05

with the jumper And

1:30:07

I just threw up It

1:30:11

must have been the adrenaline but I got a

1:30:13

lot of motion sickness Oh

1:30:16

dang all I remember about skydiving is that like

1:30:18

I was so like laughing because my arm

1:30:20

skin was laughing I just remember being like

1:30:23

I'm slapping everywhere. It's just so funny Just

1:30:26

like a rag doll and in this space.

1:30:28

Yeah Grab these things. The laying down but

1:30:30

you're in space. That's my cheek But

1:30:34

I bet you hear sounds like that in the course of

1:30:36

your work too. Right, right Yeah, and that

1:30:38

brings up another thing that you know

1:30:40

sex is also very noisy Mmm, I

1:30:43

feel like especially the virgins who come

1:30:45

in there looking for this pristine

1:30:48

looking no sound involved

1:30:52

Sexual encounter that no there are all sorts

1:30:54

of wet slapping sounds

1:30:56

and sometimes queefing And

1:30:59

it's totally fine because our

1:31:01

bodies are cool and then I

1:31:03

just saw this whole dynamic of

1:31:05

different bodies different abilities and how

1:31:09

I could help cater to that through like

1:31:12

civilian know-how or Healthcare

1:31:15

know-how that I could implement

1:31:17

in this sex work way that was

1:31:19

overlapping in such a

1:31:21

really really special way That

1:31:23

I would see blind individuals I would

1:31:26

see those with real palsy or those

1:31:28

who have had stroke many years ago

1:31:30

and they're trying to find different

1:31:34

ways to become aroused that

1:31:36

isn't in say The

1:31:38

conventional penis way. Yeah, or genital

1:31:40

way How do you have those

1:31:43

conversations with people? It sounds like you have this

1:31:45

background in health care that would really inform

1:31:47

that and I bet our listeners would really

1:31:49

Benefit from just hearing how

1:31:51

you initiate those conversations in

1:31:53

a compassionate manner I know that it's a little bit different

1:31:55

when you're holding space as a professional, but I feel like

1:31:57

there's probably applicable skills for

1:32:00

anyone's life out there. Right, yeah. And

1:32:03

usually I've noticed that they'll reach

1:32:05

out to me via email and

1:32:07

usually they're asking what I'm

1:32:10

capable or what I'm comfortable

1:32:12

with doing with their disability

1:32:15

or sometimes they're asking if there's a role in

1:32:17

shower or am

1:32:19

I able to help transfer from

1:32:21

say wheelchair to bed? Do I

1:32:24

feel comfortable doing these certain activities

1:32:26

which I'm very thankful that

1:32:28

they want to reach out to me just to

1:32:30

make sure that I'm comfortable but usually it's no

1:32:32

problem. It's no problem. We can do it in a safe way

1:32:35

and good body mechanic way.

1:32:37

Yeah, yeah. And then they'll also

1:32:39

touch upon what their fantasies are

1:32:41

a little bit just to see

1:32:43

if that is able to be

1:32:45

implemented within their abilities. Okay. And

1:32:48

usually no problem. Yeah. No problem

1:32:50

at all. And we see

1:32:54

all sorts of individuals, all demographics

1:32:56

of life, all walks

1:32:58

of life. And I

1:33:00

feel just so privileged that I

1:33:03

can meet so many individuals from

1:33:06

all over say the world

1:33:08

or just within their

1:33:10

experiences and I get to learn

1:33:12

from it. But also people

1:33:14

do come to me for say, you know,

1:33:18

I am a nurse. I'm so sick. We talk

1:33:20

about medical roles. Like it's like it's so cool

1:33:22

that you have the actual experience to help someone

1:33:24

especially if their bodies maybe have specific needs

1:33:26

that someone, you know, I'm in the process

1:33:28

of learning. I have read a

1:33:31

lot of books. I have educated myself and

1:33:33

I do lack the experiential knowledge that I

1:33:35

suppose as a nurse you probably have, you

1:33:37

know. There's like a specific level of like

1:33:39

care and awareness about certain things but

1:33:42

also nurse role. Right. You could be like the

1:33:44

most accurate. I mean have you been a nurse more

1:33:46

often? Like what have you done? Tell us what you've done. Yes.

1:33:48

So usually if it is a role play scenario,

1:33:54

usually people are coming to

1:33:56

me for the nurse role play. You're the

1:33:58

nurse. Yes, I'm the nurse. However, I don't

1:34:01

even own like the fetishized nurse

1:34:03

outfit with like the little cap

1:34:05

with the red clap. I

1:34:07

do. And it's great. It's great.

1:34:10

No one gave it to me. Yeah. I

1:34:12

said, well, if I'm going to do this,

1:34:14

like they're probably looking for some accuracy. So

1:34:18

I wear scrubs. I wear, like you

1:34:20

get the compression socks. You're like, I

1:34:22

am a slutty nurse. I don't need to

1:34:24

dress up like a slutty nurse. Exactly.

1:34:27

Like that, I like the scrub

1:34:29

look. I like the scrub look a lot.

1:34:32

But like you're, you're getting a stethoscope. You're

1:34:34

getting a pulse sock. I did

1:34:36

have a role play once where an individual

1:34:38

had asked me that he wanted to be

1:34:41

dominated, but in the

1:34:43

scenario of a healthcare setting. And

1:34:46

I said, okay, did you have a certain

1:34:48

story in mind or should we brainstorm together?

1:34:50

And he said, well, I want you to

1:34:52

be a bit upset with me because I'm

1:34:54

using the call light too many times. And

1:34:56

I thought, oh, this is going to

1:34:58

be no problem. I bet like

1:35:00

sighted students can also really relate. Exactly.

1:35:04

Exactly. And not saying that if you're

1:35:06

in a hospital setting that the call bell

1:35:08

is absolutely there, of course, to help you

1:35:11

out. And we're

1:35:13

here to help. However, they're definitely

1:35:15

with anything abusive privilege. Need

1:35:18

for attention, deep needs for attention, deep need

1:35:20

to make sure someone's there listening. But I

1:35:22

imagine you've gotten some. Yeah. Big

1:35:25

time. So he

1:35:27

asked for this scenario.

1:35:29

I thought this is going to be no problem.

1:35:32

I looked internally into myself and

1:35:34

grew from your well of creativity.

1:35:37

Exactly. But

1:35:40

yeah, in terms of a

1:35:42

medical role play, usually I am in the form of

1:35:44

a nurse. Have you ever been a nurse

1:35:47

training another nurse? Oh, that's exciting. I would

1:35:49

love to get trained. Yeah. Oh,

1:35:51

you're a nurse. I'm good to do. Yeah.

1:35:54

That's how you put a cap and her in. Have

1:35:57

you done sounding? Oh, I want to do that so

1:35:59

bad. As long as like

1:36:01

you're not introducing any pathogens, like it

1:36:03

really it really should be sterile.

1:36:05

Of course sterile steel rods usually, right?

1:36:07

Boiling them and it's on a

1:36:10

sterile or clean surface

1:36:12

and you're wearing gloves and there's

1:36:14

good hand hygiene. Have fun. But

1:36:17

there are too many times that I see in porn or

1:36:19

maybe they're just not emphasizing the safety

1:36:22

that goes into that where I see

1:36:24

people sound is just like you just

1:36:27

grab that on your desk with bare hands

1:36:29

and where have your hands been and especially

1:36:31

for penis owners, they don't get as

1:36:34

many UTIs because of the

1:36:36

length of the shaft. Ladies on the other

1:36:38

hand, we've got maybe an inch or two.

1:36:42

And through medical

1:36:44

knowledge, I was able to do it

1:36:46

in a safe way and follow-ups, make

1:36:48

sure that they're not having any symptoms

1:36:51

similar to a UTI. I

1:36:53

was like, wow, this is really overlapping. Wait,

1:36:55

so did you do sounding for the first

1:36:58

time work

1:37:00

at the ranch? Yep. Yep. Have you put

1:37:02

in a catheter already at that point? Not

1:37:04

sexually. No, no, not sexually but like

1:37:06

in the course of like nursing. Absolutely.

1:37:08

Actually, we put in fully

1:37:11

catheters, say if there's like a bladder

1:37:13

obstruction or post surgery

1:37:16

or pre-surgery. But

1:37:18

you're saying you have not yet done

1:37:20

the medical roleplay of catheter insertion. You'd

1:37:23

probably have to be like prepared for that. Yeah. That's

1:37:27

not something that I would do on the drop of

1:37:29

a hat because I don't have the supplies outside the

1:37:31

scope of the norm. Exactly. Exactly. And

1:37:34

I used to joke that oh,

1:37:36

you want a naughty nurse and it's gonna

1:37:38

be so accurate like oh,

1:37:41

your leg hurts. Let me just throw you

1:37:43

some Tylenol and pitch the doctor. I'll be with

1:37:45

you in an hour. But

1:37:50

usually people are just wanting

1:37:52

that attention and care in a

1:37:54

one-on-one setting and whether if that

1:37:57

is me in

1:37:59

scrubs or me and Laundrie or nothing

1:38:01

at all that they're looking for that

1:38:03

one-on-one time. Have you been with other

1:38:06

nurses or providers? Sure

1:38:08

have. Yeah, healthcare providers,

1:38:10

you're not sneaky. Usually

1:38:12

you'll drop a term like a

1:38:14

healthcare term like, I'm anectomy. I don't

1:38:17

know why that would show up or

1:38:19

they'll say like, oh, you're

1:38:21

ACLS certified? Me too. I'm

1:38:23

like, ah, there it is. Are you doing healthcare? A lot

1:38:27

of nurses, a lot of physicians

1:38:30

and that does kind of

1:38:32

set a foundation on common interests

1:38:34

that I do know the

1:38:36

struggles and benefits of being in

1:38:38

the healthcare world and I can

1:38:41

relate to that and they

1:38:43

feel heard. I imagine that also

1:38:45

goes back to your reciprocity. I'm going to call

1:38:47

it a kink, I don't want to put words

1:38:49

here, but like your desire to have that reciprocity,

1:38:52

like being with another person who

1:38:54

is a care provider and getting

1:38:56

to be in that, like to dance in

1:38:58

that mutual overlap of like mutual care. That's

1:39:00

so yum. Yeah, big time

1:39:02

that they would come

1:39:04

in and now that

1:39:06

veil of, I'll say

1:39:08

professionalism in the healthcare

1:39:10

world, it's been uplifted

1:39:13

and now we can talk about sexy things

1:39:15

and we just happen to both be in

1:39:18

that world as well. Oh my God, that's so cool.

1:39:21

Isn't it? Are there any other like role

1:39:23

players or fantasies or just parties you've had that

1:39:25

kind of like stand out without giving any

1:39:28

details that would like compromise anyone's privacy, but

1:39:30

just, you know, what else

1:39:32

has kind of like blossomed in

1:39:34

your time at the ranch? You

1:39:37

also mentioned couples. Is that how you figured out? Sorry

1:39:39

for all the questions in a row, but you've also

1:39:42

mentioned couples. Is that how

1:39:44

you figured out you were bisexual? Yes.

1:39:47

That's so hot. And I had worked

1:39:49

with couples a good while,

1:39:52

but I just knew that, okay, I'm just

1:39:54

providing a service here. And

1:39:56

I was like, okay, yeah, everyone thinks women

1:39:58

are beautiful. Everyone goes through

1:40:00

the phase of threesomes, right? And like really wanting to

1:40:02

go down on a pussy, yeah. Yeah,

1:40:05

I mean, I'm here, might as

1:40:07

well. I thought the same

1:40:09

thing too. It's like, wow, these are so beautiful

1:40:12

and soft. And gosh,

1:40:14

if they have a passion for something,

1:40:16

you're like, wow. And their necks

1:40:19

just look so beautiful when they tip their heads

1:40:21

up and their mouths are so cute. Exactly,

1:40:23

exactly. And it just took me

1:40:26

a long while to come to that

1:40:28

terms, or having

1:40:30

that realization of like, wow, I

1:40:33

like girls too. Wait a

1:40:35

minute. Wait a minute. Even

1:40:37

though I told myself otherwise of

1:40:40

like, well, yeah, what

1:40:42

they do is just, it

1:40:45

turns me on. Hot people are hot. Yeah.

1:40:47

Connections hot. Yeah, I think it just came down to

1:40:50

that where like, it's not a

1:40:52

label on anybody, but just like, oh, that

1:40:54

beautiful person is beautiful. And

1:40:56

that just also happened to be

1:40:58

guys and gals. Yeah, everyone. Yeah.

1:41:03

What about other parties or role plays or fantasies that

1:41:05

you have either like done and loved or

1:41:07

would like to do? Yeah,

1:41:10

I guess I can flip this over that I've

1:41:12

been a nurse, but also somebody asked me to

1:41:14

be patient. They were a

1:41:16

paramedic and it was

1:41:18

with another girl as well. Their partner or

1:41:20

like another lady at the ranch. Yeah,

1:41:22

and you can't have two girls or three

1:41:25

girls or more girls if you're wanting. It's

1:41:28

very choose your own adventure there. As long as you

1:41:30

let us know what you're looking for, we'll try our

1:41:32

best to help. Yeah, but

1:41:34

they wanted me to be patient. And

1:41:37

it was just so much fun where

1:41:40

they had that know how and

1:41:42

I had that know how. Yeah,

1:41:44

dude, exactly. Exactly. Look

1:41:46

deep inside. All

1:41:49

my goals were exactly inspection. You

1:41:51

need a thorough assessment. And

1:41:54

I had just also realized

1:41:56

that I do love intimate

1:41:58

touch. Not

1:42:00

necessarily sexual touch, but massages

1:42:03

are great. Yeah,

1:42:06

big time. Especially towards the end

1:42:08

of my tour. Like, yes, you

1:42:10

can take some time and rub on my

1:42:12

body. You can have some massage. Start

1:42:15

with my feet and work your way up. And

1:42:18

then there are fetishes, right? Where there is a

1:42:20

fetish for everything. And

1:42:23

it's involuntary, too. You like what you

1:42:25

like. Define fetish for us here

1:42:27

today. And then there are people who

1:42:29

are maybe just like, fresheners. Like, what's a different

1:42:31

point? To me, a

1:42:33

fetish is an involuntary attraction

1:42:36

towards someone or something.

1:42:40

And it's so dynamic. And

1:42:43

they're so, like, listless on how

1:42:45

many different fetishes there could be.

1:42:48

But that doesn't necessarily have to be sexual. And

1:42:51

that's where I can like

1:42:54

music, but maybe it's

1:42:57

not sexually arousing for me. Not

1:43:00

necessary for you to achieve peak

1:43:02

arousal. Exactly. It does enhance

1:43:04

things. It enhances it, but

1:43:07

it's not the main goal necessarily off

1:43:09

the bat. I started

1:43:11

at the ranch with braces. During

1:43:16

the pandemic, I

1:43:19

had decided that I'm going to go for braces,

1:43:21

for metals, like brackets on the

1:43:23

teeth, braces, because I had

1:43:26

everybody was wearing masks. Everybody was wearing masks. And I

1:43:29

was like, well, this is my time. My mouth is

1:43:31

covered. Good point. And

1:43:34

I started at the ranch with braces. And

1:43:37

everybody was wearing masks at the time, too. So

1:43:40

I would almost reveal my math when that was

1:43:42

time to come off and be like, oh, surprise.

1:43:45

I got bling in my teeth. And

1:43:47

usually it was not a problem. It was

1:43:49

not a problem. But I did have a

1:43:51

couple of individuals who were like,

1:43:53

oh, yes, please.

1:43:56

Braces, please. And I was like,

1:43:58

oh, yes, please. that just never occurred

1:44:01

to me that that could be a thing or a

1:44:04

fetish. I had one individual that

1:44:06

that was his main focus. He

1:44:08

loved that I had braces. After

1:44:11

a couple of meetings together, he got braces

1:44:13

as well. And we

1:44:15

would do like these pseudo oral exams

1:44:18

on each other that you would do

1:44:20

similar to an orthodontic office. We're

1:44:23

counting brackets, we're trying to make sure

1:44:25

that none of the brackets pop the

1:44:27

wire. We're counting how many

1:44:29

rubber bands we have. And

1:44:32

oh, I've got blue

1:44:35

brackets now. Oh, I went for the

1:44:37

white brackets this time. It's something that

1:44:39

we could really connect on, especially if

1:44:41

both of our mouths were hurting, or

1:44:43

we're having different areas of friction

1:44:45

within our mouth. And now we have to roll up

1:44:47

the wax, put in our mouth. Yeah, but there was quite

1:44:50

a fascination within that for him, that he just

1:44:56

loved it. That is just so interesting. Also,

1:44:58

like, I will be honest, my head went

1:45:00

straight to pedophilia, like people that are looking

1:45:03

for that kind of experience. But that sounds

1:45:05

completely different. Question about the braces though. Yeah.

1:45:07

In an occupation where you are required to

1:45:09

use condoms and dental

1:45:12

dams, what do you

1:45:14

do with braces? Like, how did that ever

1:45:16

like snap them or like catch on them?

1:45:18

Right. And I had the same concern as

1:45:20

well. Like, Oh gosh, these snag on my

1:45:23

own mouth, they're probably gonna snag

1:45:25

on condoms. But that's not really

1:45:27

how blow jobs work. Exactly. Unless

1:45:30

you're wanting teeth on. Yeah. Top

1:45:32

of teeth. Right. Like a cheese

1:45:34

grater. I was worried. I did

1:45:40

create a technique where I could it

1:45:43

was just lips only and keeping that

1:45:45

out of place. And it did also

1:45:48

spark the conversation of like, well, I

1:45:50

absolutely cannot do without

1:45:52

a condom or a dental dam because

1:45:54

of well, I've got appliances in my

1:45:56

teeth that hurt your own shirt in.

1:45:59

Oh, damn. I

1:46:01

know. I'm so glad they're off.

1:46:03

I only had them on for a year and that

1:46:05

was round two of braces. I

1:46:07

adapted so I could give them

1:46:10

a good time but also within my

1:46:12

own comfort level as well. There were

1:46:14

some times where I wasn't as conscious

1:46:16

in what I'm doing and I'm causing

1:46:18

rub spots in my mouth and I

1:46:20

would get blisters and I don't want

1:46:22

to compromise skin integrity in my mouth.

1:46:24

Absolutely not. So it was just a

1:46:26

learning curve but gosh when they came

1:46:28

off, look out, it

1:46:31

was so much fun that

1:46:33

I could feel, you know, we

1:46:35

have our nerve endings in our teeth, a

1:46:38

different sensation of like, oh the condom is

1:46:40

smooth. The condom is smooth against my teeth

1:46:43

and just different awakenings of senses I

1:46:45

didn't have before. That's so cool. Isn't

1:46:47

it neat? So cool. Did

1:46:50

you have braces? I had braces. Yes

1:46:52

and full disclosure, I wear a mouth

1:46:54

guard. Like I wear a full-on mouth guard every

1:46:57

night and I paint my mouth shut to improve

1:46:59

the breathing in my nasal passage and like I'm

1:47:01

a big dork in bedtime and it's been a

1:47:03

minute since I have had anyone spend the night

1:47:05

with me all night. I mean I've done it

1:47:07

but like not so much in a romantic way.

1:47:09

Sure. Although I will be having opportunities coming up

1:47:12

soon so I'm like, what will that be

1:47:14

like? Yeah. Mouth guard

1:47:16

or not. Damn

1:47:19

good. No, I'll probably wear it. Yeah. It

1:47:21

almost puts in like an athletic aspect of

1:47:24

like football players who are hockey players I put in

1:47:26

their mouth guards like, all right now I'm ready for

1:47:28

activity, now I'm ready for sports. Yeah. Yeah.

1:47:30

Like get ready for sex, I've got my

1:47:32

mouth guard on. I have not yet gone

1:47:34

down on anyone with the mouth guard in

1:47:36

too so I'm like that can be interesting.

1:47:38

I wonder if it will enhance

1:47:41

like if teeth aren't your thing,

1:47:43

if it adds a little protection there so you

1:47:45

can have. Mine is the hard, yeah it really

1:47:48

is like the hard plastic kind of bitey and

1:47:50

so it might feel smoother. I don't really know.

1:47:52

We'll just all report back when I have

1:47:55

more data. I love it. Any other

1:47:57

like stories from the... the

1:48:00

ranch or just experiences there

1:48:02

that feel worth mentioning? That's the

1:48:04

beauty of it is that I never know

1:48:06

what's gonna come in through the front door

1:48:09

and every experience is... What's gonna want to

1:48:11

go in the back door? Exactly, exactly. I

1:48:15

don't do anal myself, just

1:48:17

saying. But I'm sure you know people who do if

1:48:19

it's needed. I mean,

1:48:21

no, that's not allowed at the ranch,

1:48:23

officially speaking. Officially speaking, though, when

1:48:25

it's behind closed doors and it's two

1:48:29

individuals that make a decision,

1:48:32

whatever happens happens. However, I do

1:48:34

not. Right, right. I do not. So

1:48:37

I have all

1:48:39

these experiences that I feel

1:48:41

so privileged to be a part of. And

1:48:43

sometimes it is. I'll just

1:48:45

use the word conventional here. Sometimes it is

1:48:48

just conventional sex, like kids and vagina sex.

1:48:50

But if I have a moment in there

1:48:52

that I can sprinkle in a little bit

1:48:54

of like, oh, here's a tool for later,

1:48:56

or here's a little education for you can

1:48:59

take out in the world. It's

1:49:01

just little moments like that that I really enjoy. Oh

1:49:03

my God, I got it. But I get to have

1:49:05

a lot of fun doing it. That's so cool. And

1:49:07

even in quote unquote, just penis and vagina

1:49:10

sex or vanilla sex with another vulva owner,

1:49:12

it's like, I still

1:49:14

find myself discovering so

1:49:16

much with every person. You know, and I sometimes

1:49:19

hear criticism from people that are like, you

1:49:21

only like kinky sip, you hate monogamous vanilla

1:49:23

people. I'm like, no, I

1:49:25

don't. I'm just highly curious. I like all

1:49:27

of it. I love learning from everyone and

1:49:29

everything. I'm seeing what comes next. Another

1:49:32

analogy here. I love the term vanilla

1:49:34

sex because you can always put sprinkles

1:49:36

or toppings on top of it. Vanilla,

1:49:40

great. If you're wanting vanilla, I like

1:49:43

vanilla. The basis of everything. Exactly. Yeah,

1:49:46

you want to add nuts or you want to

1:49:48

add syrups or fruit or any of that.

1:49:51

Just let me know and we'll get those

1:49:53

toppings going. Totally. You want to try

1:49:55

new toppings. Yeah. Oh yeah. And

1:49:57

I know there are people out there that maybe just want to

1:49:59

drink. syrup but like I

1:50:01

always want the sex part which is vanilla like

1:50:03

I want I want all of it and do

1:50:05

I want to add a dynamic yes do I want

1:50:08

to add a dynamic with everyone absolutely I don't you

1:50:10

know it's really specific about what I want are we

1:50:12

sharing this ice cream with three

1:50:14

spoons yeah yeah or are we all

1:50:16

just like licking it together because we've

1:50:18

talked about our health and safety practices

1:50:20

in a very specific way exactly how

1:50:23

has work influenced or informed your own

1:50:26

sex life to whatever degree you feel

1:50:28

comfy sharing yeah in my civilian life

1:50:30

I'm definitely very matter of fact we

1:50:32

are sitting down we are talking about

1:50:34

health and safety which is sexy

1:50:37

for me because that gives you

1:50:39

an even brighter green light yeah

1:50:41

rather than this like weird dim

1:50:43

one where it's like is that

1:50:45

a green light or is that

1:50:47

a yellowish greenish yellow you get

1:50:50

a civil engineer out here but

1:50:53

it allows me to be

1:50:56

more expressive on my wants

1:50:58

and also create a dialogue on

1:51:00

what their wants are as well

1:51:02

so I can sprinkle that in

1:51:04

too so it's this beautiful Sunday

1:51:07

ice cream Sunday so

1:51:09

health and safety expressions

1:51:12

curiosity as well yeah because

1:51:15

now that I'm awake I'm

1:51:18

awake and now I want to try new things

1:51:21

and if it works awesome

1:51:23

if it doesn't then

1:51:26

it's okay I've tried and I can say

1:51:28

that I can try that heaven

1:51:30

forbid I'm gonna be on a deathbed

1:51:32

and I'm gonna have regrets of like

1:51:35

oh like I wish I had

1:51:37

tried picking that one person you know

1:51:39

I did I did I

1:51:42

lived and I tell the tale so cool

1:51:46

I'm not trying to steer away from the question but I feel

1:51:49

like there are its own aspects

1:51:52

of specialness in every experience

1:51:54

that I have with an individual either

1:51:56

at the ranch or otherwise yeah

1:51:59

where I get in these

1:52:01

moments where I think like, oh, freeze

1:52:03

frame, voiceover, you're probably wondering how

1:52:05

I got here right now. Like

1:52:08

I am oil wrestling with two other

1:52:10

girls or I'm doing this role play

1:52:12

where I'm the student

1:52:16

and then I graduate into the teacher.

1:52:19

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's

1:52:21

so yummy. But usually

1:52:23

it's for me the connection

1:52:26

that I gain with being with

1:52:28

an individual and what they have

1:52:30

taught me. Yeah. And

1:52:33

I get to put in my

1:52:35

own tool belt, go off

1:52:37

into the world and have it as

1:52:39

a data point or an anecdote and

1:52:42

continue on from there in this

1:52:45

mission of becoming a

1:52:47

more sexier, loving place. Yeah. And

1:52:49

on that note, like what else are

1:52:51

you excited to explore going forward, either

1:52:53

in your work or your personal life

1:52:55

or if there's a distinction? Yeah. Yeah.

1:52:59

There is a lot of overlap with that.

1:53:01

So in my professional life, I'm doing a

1:53:03

master's in sexual health and

1:53:06

from there I hope that will give me

1:53:08

the credentials to give me

1:53:11

almost a shield of armor to have

1:53:14

people understand like, oh, she

1:53:16

knows what she's talking about and she's

1:53:18

not just a sex worker. However, I

1:53:20

absolutely feel like we should be hearing

1:53:22

the stories of the, quote unquote, just

1:53:24

the sex worker. Well, you know, I

1:53:26

agree. Yeah. Yeah. Because we

1:53:28

have things to say and just because

1:53:31

of the profession that we chose, it

1:53:33

shouldn't diminish anyone's. Like

1:53:35

I know for sure I couldn't be a

1:53:37

plumber, but that doesn't diminish their importance in

1:53:39

the world or teachers. Oh, yeah.

1:53:42

Goodness. I know that everybody has something to

1:53:44

bring to the table regardless of what

1:53:47

you are. So I

1:53:49

want to finish that, which is coming up. It's

1:53:51

coming up in May. I'll graduate.

1:53:53

Congrats. Thank you. And

1:53:56

within my Personal Life, I

1:53:58

Just want to try. Everything

1:54:01

and Everything is an sexual.

1:54:03

Or not isn't always

1:54:05

eat food I want

1:54:08

to. Go scuba diving

1:54:10

and want to. Go

1:54:13

to concerts and want

1:54:15

to help those. Like

1:54:19

say through volunteering.

1:54:21

And thankfully sex work has

1:54:23

given me that. Window

1:54:26

that I can. previously I was the

1:54:28

A twelve hour shifts six days a

1:54:30

week and work myself to death Sam.

1:54:32

So now I can put their energy

1:54:35

towards something and other projects that I

1:54:37

feel like are important at least to

1:54:39

me they don't I can have that

1:54:41

perform in that window that I can

1:54:44

help others and a scanner on my

1:54:46

own narrative rather than like of is

1:54:48

gonna come in. your settle for this

1:54:51

Now it's like your new era of

1:54:53

sexual freedom has. Led to a new

1:54:55

era of overall freedom in your life and

1:54:57

choice of them for. Oh yeah, he had.

1:55:00

That. The nail on the head right there.

1:55:02

and did you have something similar when. Things.

1:55:04

became a lot more sexual. I

1:55:07

really, really good at taking my

1:55:09

favorite things and making cages. Out

1:55:11

of and now I do like cages.

1:55:13

His. However, I do

1:55:15

so many things so intensely.

1:55:18

My angle for Twenty Twenty

1:55:20

Four really is to travel

1:55:22

more and recapture my own

1:55:24

sense of personal freedom that.

1:55:27

So funny because when I hear from people they

1:55:29

projected oliver me their ears single. Injured or not,

1:55:31

These things And this and that little some. Perhaps

1:55:33

because I take my. Sexual. Freedom

1:55:36

for granted because of the well.

1:55:38

when I was twenty seven I

1:55:40

decided that I was prioritizing is

1:55:42

my desire for sex and good

1:55:44

sex. So definitely relate and definitely

1:55:46

and you know, continuing to stop

1:55:48

ever into the new eras where

1:55:50

my priorities are actually priorities. and

1:55:53

that's the beauty of it by it that

1:55:55

it is a process because if i a

1:55:57

dutch experience everything all at once that one

1:56:00

that doesn't leave any room for tomorrow.

1:56:03

And it's important to pace yourself

1:56:05

a little bit and take time

1:56:07

to process that learning of, wow, that was

1:56:09

great, or I'll give

1:56:11

it two more tries. Yeah. Well, and

1:56:13

it's like I am an ever-changing being, and me

1:56:16

of five years ago when I was starting this

1:56:18

podcast is a very, very different person from me

1:56:20

right now. And it should be. And I, you

1:56:22

know, even though I've crossed stuff off my bucket

1:56:24

list, I don't want to do everything just once,

1:56:26

you know? So

1:56:29

if you could wave a magic wand and teach

1:56:31

everyone in the world something about sex, what

1:56:34

would you teach them? It's a process. We

1:56:37

have perhaps through porn or media or

1:56:39

otherwise that it's like, oh, now we

1:56:41

just take off all our clothes. I

1:56:44

feel like it is okay to sit

1:56:46

down, have a little conversation. It could

1:56:48

be a sexy conversation too. Yeah. Yeah.

1:56:52

I feel like, you know, through what we

1:56:54

see on TV or movies, maybe it's just

1:56:56

the pacing of the production and the, you

1:56:59

know, there's no time for that. I feel

1:57:01

like it does open up an important dialogue

1:57:03

that benefits everybody. And even

1:57:05

in the little sex education I got, it

1:57:08

was like this is what

1:57:10

things are done physically

1:57:12

and not mechanically. Exactly.

1:57:15

But not necessarily what leads up to that. You

1:57:18

know, it was just kind of sprinkled in there, like, you

1:57:20

should have a conversation or like

1:57:22

you will make the decision. I

1:57:25

hear so often, you know, especially the reason I

1:57:27

started this podcast is because I was listening to

1:57:29

other podcasts and there's a lot of like what

1:57:32

and shoulds and I'm like, but

1:57:34

what about the how? How, you know, so I was

1:57:36

just listening to a book that was like, you

1:57:38

know, you should definitely talk to your medical

1:57:40

provider and you know, their job is to

1:57:42

help you, you know, support yourself, but they

1:57:45

won't necessarily bring up sex because that's another

1:57:47

goal. And very few doctors are trained when

1:57:49

it comes to having those conversations. And I'm

1:57:51

also just like, well, how do I initiate

1:57:53

that? You know, how, what words do I

1:57:55

use? Exactly. Exactly. And

1:57:57

You know, there's a couple ways of saying

1:57:59

things. The entered not so great

1:58:01

ways to say things in terms

1:58:03

of your desires and making it

1:58:05

more the collaborative process rather than

1:58:07

like you will do this. No,

1:58:09

not at it really. ever. Comes

1:58:12

down about unless you haven't explicitly negotiate

1:58:14

a dynamic. Of us

1:58:16

do but in a not just out of

1:58:18

the blue exact not just. With the assumptions,

1:58:21

assumptions are so on. Sexy to whom. I

1:58:23

agree. I agree. And. Just

1:58:25

so I would say. Knowing that

1:58:27

it is okay having that conversation it

1:58:29

the or does he have to be a

1:58:31

lengthy one? Legislate hopes looks like this is

1:58:34

where we're headed. What are we gonna do?

1:58:38

A hop. And.

1:58:41

If you could go back in time and give. Younger you A

1:58:43

piece of sex advice: What age are ages would you

1:58:45

pick him? but which is. I'll

1:58:48

I'll give a couple stories are

1:58:50

so when I was young my

1:58:52

mom talking about the egg and

1:58:55

sperm aig sounds like an egg

1:58:57

in this of the correlated with

1:58:59

suit says. And

1:59:01

I had always heard of steak

1:59:04

and eggs. Never really hurt myself

1:59:06

and I was young by that.

1:59:09

Oh we have a is an

1:59:11

guys have states because steaks sound

1:59:13

like sperm class of family. Now

1:59:17

that is like he others have physical state.

1:59:19

Like between the legs. it's

1:59:21

me but it a has

1:59:24

face. Ah. By like our internal

1:59:26

anatomy of because that's how I

1:59:28

understood as like O'hare regular inside

1:59:30

of us and therefore guys have

1:59:32

states in Iowa so I would

1:59:34

probably and just how good sit

1:59:36

down with young young Camille be

1:59:38

like now the actually was like

1:59:40

these little slow with blaze little

1:59:42

creatures and that's how they swim

1:59:44

is hardly it a lot later

1:59:46

than I realize like what the

1:59:48

structure of a sperm is gosh

1:59:51

I hope so funny or has

1:59:53

a success and then much later.

1:59:55

When things are getting a little bit

1:59:57

questionable in terms like. Your

1:59:59

body's to. developing and all that,

2:00:02

I would say that it is okay to

2:00:04

be curious. It is okay

2:00:06

to be curious. It's okay

2:00:09

to indulge in that desire as

2:00:11

long if it's yourself

2:00:13

and it's safe and it's, you

2:00:15

know, nobody's being put into this

2:00:17

fantasy non-consensually or if it's with

2:00:19

a partner or two partners, as

2:00:22

long as the dialogue is there, it's okay

2:00:24

to be curious. Try it out because otherwise

2:00:27

you won't know. And

2:00:29

that's something that I had realized when coming

2:00:31

to the ranch, that it is okay to

2:00:33

be curious. Like I don't

2:00:35

know what it would be like to be on a hot 66th ball. I

2:00:39

liked it. That's

2:00:41

gotta go on my bucket list. Oh no, it's only getting

2:00:44

longer, damn it. Well,

2:00:46

that's the thing though, it's ever changing and

2:00:49

ever growing just like people. Yeah. But

2:00:52

I also find a lot of comfort in the

2:00:54

things that are consistent for me in a desire

2:00:56

sort of way. I love

2:00:58

massages, I love good talk,

2:01:01

I love to listen to people because

2:01:04

I get to learn. I feel

2:01:06

like that's where it is foundationally is

2:01:08

that I'm learning and I love to

2:01:10

learn. Learning is sex. Sure

2:01:13

is. Oh, okay. Fantasy

2:01:15

time. If we suddenly lived in

2:01:17

a world where everyone had to be a

2:01:20

sex worker for at least two years and

2:01:22

you had to do a different type of

2:01:24

sex work, how would you serve? That

2:01:27

is, like sex work itself is an

2:01:30

umbrella term too because there's so

2:01:32

many different sections that I can

2:01:35

go down. Gosh, I've

2:01:38

always wanted to try stripping. I've

2:01:41

never done it for myself. I mean, I'd

2:01:43

have on my own pole, but that's not the thing. And

2:01:46

initially I thought like, gosh, I'm going to be

2:01:48

a Corazon. I should at least know how to

2:01:50

strip and how to be on a pole. And

2:01:53

that wasn't the case, but that also put me in a

2:01:55

container. Like, well, I don't have to learn that. But

2:01:58

now it's like, I would at least want to. give

2:02:00

it a try to have a better understanding on

2:02:02

how it all works. So being

2:02:04

in an environment like the ranch, I get to ask

2:02:07

people with different specialties of, yes,

2:02:09

they do just domination or they

2:02:11

have done stripping or they do

2:02:13

the certain type of play and

2:02:16

those answers and resources are... it's

2:02:18

like a library itself that I

2:02:20

can just ask and

2:02:23

see if that's something that I would

2:02:25

want to engage in. Sexy human library.

2:02:27

Yeah. Different kind of sexy human library from the

2:02:30

earlier one. Right, right. Maybe on that note or

2:02:32

maybe not. You now

2:02:34

have an unlimited budget to build the perfect

2:02:36

playroom or dungeon or castle or whatever you

2:02:38

want. What is it like?

2:02:41

It would probably be a spa. It would

2:02:43

probably be just... because

2:02:46

your body is feeling good, like on

2:02:48

a ground level zero sort of way.

2:02:52

You're feeling good, perhaps you're

2:02:54

nourished, maybe eat some

2:02:57

good food, but it can also

2:02:59

have like a black and white type

2:03:01

setting like, oh we have the very

2:03:03

Aryan light spa over here and

2:03:06

then over here we have the dungeon

2:03:08

and then it's dark and we've got torches

2:03:10

and... And then maybe

2:03:12

the sensual flickering candle somewhere in between.

2:03:14

Exactly, exactly. Perhaps it would

2:03:16

be a castle with just different

2:03:19

environments depending on my mood

2:03:21

or the mood overall. Okay, so you can

2:03:23

be in charge of designing the spa at

2:03:25

the ultimate play camp. Hotel creation

2:03:28

is what I'm thinking about. Yeah, because that

2:03:30

is such a nourishing part. Okay, what other elements would

2:03:32

you want to have? Oh, that's a

2:03:35

neat thing. I used to have a lot of

2:03:37

dreams. Like in my dreams while I'm asleep, it's

2:03:40

very room oriented. Like I

2:03:42

dream a lot about malls

2:03:44

or like theme parks because

2:03:46

they have different subsections that are

2:03:49

special to whatever product

2:03:51

or dialogue that they're trying to open. So

2:03:54

it would be cool to see like, like

2:03:56

in terms of a castle or a mall like

2:03:58

setting that you just... go down this

2:04:01

way and you can branch out to

2:04:03

these different specialties like, oh yes, this

2:04:06

is the shower room and it's

2:04:08

a luscious, wonderful shower

2:04:11

or we have a backyard

2:04:14

and maybe that can introduce

2:04:17

voyeurism a little bit. Um,

2:04:19

statue garden. I have a fucking statue garden idea

2:04:21

where people can walk from balconies or

2:04:24

from these windows and the windows also includes little booths,

2:04:26

like little fucking booths. So one is a phone booth,

2:04:28

but all these tiny little spaces for quickies, hallway

2:04:31

of quickie booths that looks out into the

2:04:33

statue garden, the fucking statue garden. Yeah, exactly.

2:04:35

Like Superman. Yeah, exactly. And

2:04:37

different versions of the phone booth and different versions of all,

2:04:39

I mean, you know me, I like novelty. Right. Oh,

2:04:43

I can imagine too, like we

2:04:45

could have like one of those dry cleaning

2:04:47

revolving racks where just different costumes. Oh my God.

2:04:50

Oh, and I was thinking, I thought you were

2:04:52

going to say and like people could be fucking

2:04:54

in the middle of it, but maybe also that

2:04:56

also that like, like the costumes are going around,

2:04:58

they get cleaned, people could fuck in there, you

2:05:00

know, and like obviously respecting the costumes, you

2:05:03

know, and that's why bringing or

2:05:05

rather that's why establishing a culture in

2:05:07

those spaces, I think is so important for play so

2:05:09

that like everyone's type of play is respected. It's like,

2:05:12

okay, if you want to do all of the urine

2:05:14

and blood stuff, there's a room for that because

2:05:16

there are health concerns, you know, there's specific things

2:05:18

that you need. As long as

2:05:20

those practices are in a

2:05:22

safe container, have fun. I've had it.

2:05:25

Yeah. And I didn't say this earlier

2:05:27

when you asked me like my, because this is all for me

2:05:30

an extension of the fantasy. I'm just like infusing your ideas into

2:05:32

my, my future big dream. Yeah.

2:05:34

The first point of safety for all of it

2:05:36

is the health check

2:05:38

that everyone would get going in, you know,

2:05:40

and all of that kind of education is

2:05:42

the base layer and that's connected to everything,

2:05:44

which is not to say that we would do away with barriers because

2:05:46

as you mentioned, there's still concerns that

2:05:49

we need barriers for, but just

2:05:51

knowing that on some level we are really

2:05:53

doing more risk aware play. That is what

2:05:56

I just want. Yeah. Where

2:05:58

it's out in the open. it's

2:06:00

conscious, it's aware, but also

2:06:03

we have these practices

2:06:05

in place for a reason. And

2:06:08

that could be also chemical barriers

2:06:10

as well, like saying those

2:06:12

who get on a sick liver are a prep, that

2:06:15

it's just another layer there added for

2:06:18

the heightened experience

2:06:20

that safety is still in place. Yeah. Not

2:06:23

saying that it's mandatory, but it's there.

2:06:25

Like I'm on prep. Yeah. And

2:06:28

just in case. And I'm on a sick liver. Yeah.

2:06:31

Yeah. Look at us. It just

2:06:33

adds this delicious

2:06:35

yummy flavors that okay, I

2:06:38

can eat. I've been given the menu.

2:06:40

So yummy. Beautiful. Lovers,

2:06:42

you can find Camille on the internet

2:06:45

at twitter at Camille Davis LLC, and

2:06:48

you can go to Sherri's ranch.com. Type

2:06:51

in Camille. It's the easiest way to find

2:06:53

it. And we are linking in the description

2:06:55

below. Camille, thank you so much for being a

2:06:57

guest on sex stories. Thank you so much. My goodness.

2:06:59

Lovers, that is our show. I love you for listening.

2:07:02

If you want to support my work

2:07:04

as an independent artist, which includes this

2:07:07

podcast, if you want to go deeper

2:07:09

with me either online or in person,

2:07:11

visit wyolee.com/links for a no

2:07:13

strings attached way to concretely show me

2:07:16

your appreciation. You can support this podcast

2:07:18

and my grad school tuition via Venmo

2:07:20

cash app or PayPal at wyolee or

2:07:22

find direct links in the footer of

2:07:24

my website wyolee.com. If you want

2:07:26

to learn more about my personal bits, you can

2:07:28

hear my sex stories very interwoven

2:07:30

with my work. I am

2:07:33

discovering on patreon.com/wyolee. You

2:07:35

can unlock my naughty photos and

2:07:37

videos one by one at only

2:07:39

fans.com/wire free, or you can subscribe

2:07:41

for curated selection of my favorite

2:07:43

and most up to date masturbation

2:07:46

explorations on only fans.com/wyolee. If you

2:07:48

want my focus on your personal parts, one

2:07:50

on one virtual options include phone or video

2:07:53

sessions where you can ask me anything, get

2:07:55

relationship advice or noodle on whatever it is

2:07:57

you're thinking about or do the in person

2:07:59

version and meet me for coffee. lunch or

2:08:01

dinner if you are in Los Angeles. Or

2:08:03

if you just need hot stills and or

2:08:06

video for you, your boo, or your fan,

2:08:08

send me a message via my website wiley.com.

2:08:10

I invite all of you to join me

2:08:12

in making 2024 the year of practicing offering

2:08:14

and accepting the most exquisite

2:08:17

irresistible invitations, and I would love it

2:08:19

if you would send me a voicemail

2:08:22

via sexstoriespodcast.com answering any or all

2:08:24

of the following. What

2:08:26

irresistible invitations have you received

2:08:28

and loved? What irresistible invitations

2:08:30

have you offered or are you planning to

2:08:32

offer? Or are you resisting any

2:08:35

invitation that you don't actually want to resist?

2:08:37

Do you have any stucknesses? Let me know.

2:08:39

Personally, I think a voicemail would make a

2:08:41

great New Year's or Valentine's Day present if

2:08:44

you ever want to. I love receiving good,

2:08:46

thoughtful, sexy stories. Again, sexstoriespodcast.com is where you

2:08:48

can leave me a voicemail, apply to be

2:08:51

a guest, and see all of

2:08:53

my sexy question lists, which I hear has

2:08:55

led to some very hot things between partners who

2:08:57

got curious with each other. Also,

2:09:00

an announcement. Sexstories is

2:09:02

becoming sexstories. In part, it is

2:09:04

to represent my surrender to censorship,

2:09:07

and it is also an opportunity to broaden

2:09:09

our conversations and creative discussions to include the

2:09:11

many of you who I hear from who

2:09:14

clearly want to connect but don't want to

2:09:16

talk about sex publicly, even anonymously, and

2:09:18

I am hoping that this makes us less

2:09:20

censored, actually searchable on Spotify, and

2:09:23

hopefully more appealing to advertisers because there's a lot

2:09:25

of stuff that I want to make for you

2:09:27

and offer for you, but I just need more

2:09:29

bandwidth. So while I will always be

2:09:31

most curious about people's sex stories, I am excited

2:09:34

to invite people to talk about all the relational

2:09:36

topics that I have written question lists for and

2:09:38

tests out in the park last summer. So if

2:09:40

you want to check out critique and or add

2:09:42

to these new question lists and consider joining me

2:09:45

as a guest in this new era of possibility,

2:09:47

I have question lists for dating, relationship,

2:09:49

friendship, marriage, divorce, love, secret,

2:09:52

creativity, and play stories. Check

2:09:54

them out at yov.com/share. Sex

2:09:57

stories, or I guess I should say, x stories,

2:09:59

is produced in edited by the birthday-tastic Kimberly

2:10:01

Loftus, who keeps this pod going and cheers me

2:10:03

up on the days where I get really sad

2:10:05

about the rude social and sexual norms in this

2:10:07

world that we live in. And

2:10:09

this is why, more than ever, I encourage

2:10:12

you to take care of yourselves, take care

2:10:14

of each other, and share stories in the

2:10:16

name of lovely human connection.

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