0:04

hell of a with human a

0:09

a

0:17

that we can all have yummy delicious energy

0:19

for all the other pretzel i am today

0:21

show is especially full of wisdom v

0:24

curious girl herself if here with

0:26

us and if you wanna hear layla interview me

0:28

make sure you will listen to her june eleventh episode

0:30

of the curious go theories entitled sex storied

0:33

where ever you get your podcasts your podcasts

0:35

please keep your sucked it up but me and argus fearful

0:38

the matter how wonderfully perverted they

0:40

are for listen to the out know if you like connect

0:42

and enjoy

0:43

guess today is a bi curious as female

0:46

in her forties she's single and as into

0:48

bdsm sex parties and talking

0:50

about sex which she does on her podcast

0:53

the curious girl diaries and you saw go listen

0:55

to it wherever you get your podcast with us today

0:57

from florida welcome layla

0:59

hi while so great to be

1:01

her thank you so much for having me i

1:03

am so excited to have you and thank

1:06

you for having me on your podcast

1:08

and i'm just so excited now to get to turn

1:10

the tables and ask you all the questions i

1:13

am ready that was so much fun

1:15

oh my gosh we just had the best conversations the i

1:17

can't wait to see what you're going to ask me yes okay

1:19

my first question is if you had to write yourself

1:21

today right now on a shame a meter

1:23

of sexuality with ten being the most for

1:25

the same and one being i don't know what same

1:27

as where do you fall in dismal

1:30

probably a to okay

1:32

why do you fit there are the

1:34

only reason that i would give it a to

1:37

if it is i'm not ashamed of anything i'm doing

1:39

sexually that's what a our podcast

1:41

about a more than happy to talk about it i love

1:43

talking about the only thing

1:45

that i would say throws a little bit

1:47

of a shame and there is that i'm

1:50

not out of the closet with it or not willing

1:52

to you know i do all this anonymously so

1:55

i'm not willing to say yeah this yeah this

1:57

i am this is who i really am cet

1:59

yeah i've been keeping a secret and for years

2:02

i kind of i'm on the fence i go back and forth

2:04

like sex just come out the closet no say

2:06

in the closet command because it's stay in the bother

2:08

sit hard to live that double life

2:11

i'm he really doesn't feel like it it's just something

2:13

that i just don't mention to

2:16

certain though you

2:18

know it's all me right it's

2:20

feels like something i don't mention so moving

2:23

your like a real life spy kind of science

2:26

has has as a little bit like a devil a

2:28

but i don't feel it in the sense like

2:30

oh i'm keeping this big secret is it's like

2:33

eating me alive no

2:35

it's just the same party thing

2:37

you know comes into play where i'm such

2:39

an advocate of people

2:41

be the forthcoming with their partner

2:43

there's an open we're talking about sex

2:45

and i am all those things it's

2:48

sad when it comes to

2:50

thank to the world you

2:52

know this is my real identity this who

2:55

i am

2:56

the with it

2:57

oh funny i almost have the inverse

2:59

experience of it's so easy for me to talk about

3:02

with anyone and

3:04

because of the same experiences that i've how to just

3:06

the meat of the kind of crinkly bet that

3:08

other people it harder for me with the person that's right

3:10

in front me that i want to fuck you're going up a little

3:12

overview of what your sex life is like right now we're going to

3:14

get into details but just give us the flavor

3:17

right now i have been pretty

3:19

consistent partner and a

3:21

few nibbling around the edges

3:24

for me i like the say the i think the

3:26

girl needs what girl call what parent spare

3:29

i think it's really good for you to have three

3:31

lovers if you're female because that's

3:33

the magic number slope oh my

3:35

gosh three is one of my lucky number sixty

3:38

nine but obviously three is the root of that

3:40

and that's just amazing right answer

3:42

the pair and a spare i love

3:44

that okay

3:47

and now can you just tell us what does

3:49

sexy

3:50

the mean t what is sexy

3:52

and your personal definition

3:54

it's a feeling you

3:56

know it's how you carry yourself to the

3:58

world it's something that

3:59

the mode

4:01

we could come from the inside out there

4:03

magic sprinkled and area now i don't

4:05

know i had a really fully describe

4:08

and other than it's just

4:10

as a woman i feel like it's

4:12

a bit of a birthright and i

4:15

have a motto on my show where

4:17

i say women you

4:19

are not allowed to waste the pretty do not

4:22

waste pretty and if

4:24

you're not wasting your pretty then you know

4:26

then your sexy messages it's

4:28

exuding

4:30

yeah

4:32

what did wasting pretty mean like

4:34

how do i make sure i'm not wasting mind that

4:37

means you don't let anybody shroud you

4:39

and shame of that means

4:41

you're not disconnected from your

4:43

sexiness and the parts of you that

4:45

are email and make

4:47

you beautiful and that

4:49

you're accepting the things and

4:52

in a you basically carry them with

4:54

you like a badge of honor and

4:56

we all the waste are pretty at

4:58

some point or another because of has we need to withdraw

5:01

and we need to pull back and we need to

5:04

kind of regroup and then

5:06

weekend

5:07

back out the for him and

5:10

that's understandable but i you

5:12

know spent years wait in the pretty

5:14

and athletic the about

5:17

any of that reasonable genesis of my podcast

5:19

in my story okay

5:22

before we get into those details can you

5:25

give us

5:26

the lesson in consent did you ever

5:28

learn about growing up and have you

5:30

had one experience of an explicit

5:33

yes in your lifetime that has

5:35

been so yummy you want to

5:36

the from the roof

5:38

no have several other the

5:41

impasse i will say it's just

5:43

an explicit yes to

5:46

putting my trust in another human

5:48

being to take me to a sexual

5:50

level that only he could take

5:52

meteor that's probably

5:55

my example

5:57

of an explicit yeah

5:59

for

5:59

you were kinky did you ever have like with consent

6:02

on your radar not

6:04

really since net interesting

6:06

this it question yeah no

6:08

i mean because i'm very type a

6:10

and and very strong and i never

6:12

felt that any the can't

6:15

really think of a time where somebody

6:17

put me in a position where

6:20

i get out did something

6:22

that well edited the source you know i look

6:24

back on instances during this

6:27

process during my whole theoretical diaries

6:29

escapades you know and point to a few

6:31

moments where i was like i said

6:33

didn't have done that and it was a really valuable

6:36

lesson because it could have gone way worth it didn't

6:38

there was a message there for me and i am

6:40

not going to let it go to waste and definitely

6:43

the early i'm not and making

6:45

sure that i talk about at night and podcast

6:47

is an episode about it or just about

6:49

it because i definitely broke

6:52

up some rules said i used the

6:54

i call them the rules of engagement you know and

6:56

these are my rule and it long

6:58

as i maintain those things go well

7:00

and if i then ah knows

7:03

they don't and the time that i sent

7:05

on it will say it just a really good

7:07

reminder to myself this is why

7:09

you do things the way you do them

7:11

now there's a reason

7:13

okay last intro question

7:15

the name of safety how do you handle

7:18

safer sex conversations with new partners

7:20

and one of your ideal one

7:22

the have a conversation i'm just very

7:25

natural and normal and give

7:27

me or my business life a visit minded

7:30

always like to assume that things in

7:32

a go on this is how they're gonna go my

7:34

language with language partner represents that

7:36

is so i would you be saying okay

7:38

so you know obviously we're we're going to be doing

7:40

this and i've already disclose

7:43

that you know i have different partners

7:45

and we're not be exclusive right now so we'll

7:47

assess butter history and would you

7:49

feel comfortable getting tested and

7:51

of course will be using protection and

7:53

as we move along and you know it's okay if things change

7:56

we want to talk about maybe negotiating

7:58

not using a condom and what that would mean

8:00

and eleven and i just open up a conversation

8:03

for the dialogue and

8:05

let the other person cylinder bike

8:09

now

8:10

they get back to your early year

8:12

when you first remember hearing about said

8:15

and then how did that kind of evolved though

8:19

my mom was way

8:21

more wanting to talk about

8:23

sex with me than i was ever want to sit

8:28

my mom did completely the opposite of lox

8:30

she the my grandmother my grandmother you know

8:32

my mom first got it appeared just in your but

8:34

he was i carried out sweetheart like figure

8:36

this out so my

8:38

mom with bound and determined that

8:41

you know of no daughter of hers was going to have

8:43

that experience so we're

8:45

we're constantly talked about and

8:48

i just remember so one night

8:50

i was in third grade and i

8:52

thought we were gonna go the taco

8:54

bell and my mom

8:57

was like well i won't have to count

8:59

on one of conversation in i'm hungry innocent

9:02

okay guys are having a take very long and

9:04

so see it was under the impression

9:06

that when i had passed by her

9:09

room in the middle of the night you

9:11

know in a dead sleep go

9:13

use the restroom she thought that i've heard

9:15

her and mighty i'd have said that i

9:17

had not because i can practically

9:20

sleep last a sushi history with

9:22

well you know she wants to have vs

9:24

these conversations she's telling me what you

9:26

know when a men and women love each other and

9:28

you know in the peterson a vagina and

9:30

i'm just like just like i am sitting there mortified

9:33

and i'm like okay you know the

9:35

leader of al how are we i just one and

9:37

she likes to elaborate

9:40

and elaborate mullah city

9:43

that being a very awkward moment for

9:45

me

9:46

financially she got off of it when it up

9:48

going to talk about that i was so like

9:50

what did i just hear he like did she

9:52

just lay on me but moving forward

9:55

i appreciated that every

9:57

time it was appropriate and there was something

9:59

to talk about

9:59

the weather blow jobs or

10:02

my mom when i got my first boyfriend

10:04

i remember we were walking going

10:06

for a walk in lake tahoe and

10:08

she said if you doing anything

10:10

for you and i said well they

10:13

are you having an orgasm is he

10:15

interested in helping you have an orgasm to

10:18

they will die

10:20

now i don't know seventeen

10:23

and time

10:25

of course i knew what was

10:28

i masturbated i knew that i wasn't having one

10:30

with my first time boyfriend needed know

10:32

he doesn't know what to do yes and sell

10:34

and my mom said well i'm gonna tell you

10:36

lost something that

10:38

sometimes

10:39

young in a don't know by

10:41

as you grow up and you get older you

10:43

come across the man who so fish get

10:45

rid of him because he'll always be selfish

10:48

i know you're a mom she

10:51

told me you know they ah okay and

10:53

that stuff and moving

10:55

forward from that point you know kind of early

10:57

teens into my twenties and

10:59

started having better sex i guess

11:01

i was of what i was taking her advice i avoided

11:04

the guys that were selfish

11:06

in a while column that or maybe they're inexperienced

11:08

says at a decent minutes author cause i'm selfish

11:11

but i gravitated towards the guys

11:13

that knew what they were doing a net wanted

11:15

to that is jaime

11:17

and expected that my pleasure was a priority

11:19

to ah and so that

11:22

i found some of the best oral sex the

11:24

river that my life guys that you

11:27

knew you had to break up and move on

11:29

friends but you did not want to less alexander

11:34

good at that age you know you

11:36

were had twenty one you are convinced

11:38

he would never find another guy that

11:40

save your pussy the way to lock

11:43

him so as you had that experience

11:46

that experience twenty seven before

11:48

i found some of that are like oh my god oral

11:50

can feel like zips you know some

11:52

yeah also i cannot help

11:55

but reflect on the fact that you and i had

11:57

to very good seventeen year

11:59

old conversation we her mom's

12:01

minds like don't say yes if

12:03

they pressure you and your like get pleasure who

12:05

i'd love that i love

12:07

and what i love is it sounds

12:09

like okay so maybe we don't use the word selfish

12:12

but it sounds like from very young age you were taught

12:14

the idea that we should take care of each

12:16

other and at someone who's fully focused

12:18

on their own experience without realizing

12:20

that you are a human being with them

12:22

such great so

12:24

they didn't make it easy to filter people

12:26

are like what were your kind of twenties like like did you

12:28

come across the selfish people years like nope

12:31

or lake with it in bed like how did you do

12:33

that

12:33

grayson brother

12:35

i kind of filling my personality sort

12:37

of

12:38

they offered a lot of suffering is

12:41

amazing yeah

12:44

i mean just my personality again

12:46

so either going back to how i was

12:48

raised in out by parents run for new words

12:50

and so you know i was really just

12:53

given the impression that

12:55

i could doing ever my mind to they

12:58

didn't say no you can't

13:00

say whatever x y and z a lot to

13:02

like you know growing up you want expensive

13:04

things you know the popular things you want these

13:07

genes or that genes he now and instead

13:09

of saying no those are too expensive

13:11

you don't need two hundred fifty dollar pair of jeans

13:14

they would say well that's a really good

13:16

the goal yeah and that

13:18

is a seats are very expensive so how

13:20

are you going to nc

13:24

and i'd be like well i

13:26

don't know let me think in so that

13:29

was the hold the premise was when you thing

13:31

now it shuts down your creativity it

13:33

shuts down your problem solving and

13:36

when you say

13:38

well

13:39

you know you put is present in a form of question

13:41

our minds just start working on

13:44

how can i whatever

13:47

do x y z and so the

13:49

public confidence movie for like

13:51

yes i could get ill accomplish thing

13:53

that when i wanted to and put my mind

13:55

on that were important and so

13:57

i think just probably not really

13:59

really good sense of self

14:02

when i was going through white normal

14:05

you know my peer group was going through with thinking

14:07

maybe the wrong guy or whatever not that i haven't picked

14:09

some you know interesting

14:11

, characters it faster

14:15

and you know going now okay

14:17

this isn't right for me yeah you

14:19

can be anywhere you want but i know that

14:21

this is the right for me so

14:24

i didn't have a problem he knows is getting

14:26

stuck with the wrong guy too long except for

14:28

that one guy that gets it was really get the world that we'll

14:31

, exceptions for people who are really

14:34

excellent i definitely did that with my former master

14:36

like okay one more time a threat against against

14:38

so i i feel that yes

14:41

because there are things you don't wanna let go

14:43

and i've certainly had that as long as that as

14:46

up except that they're still that underlying

14:48

real strong sense of self that i know

14:51

that is something offer not right

14:53

and it's never a surprise who

14:56

the person when i have

14:58

that it conversely you know the final like okay

15:00

well i think we need to part ways i've

15:03

already been voicing it and saying

15:05

exactly you know what's

15:07

bothering me so i just sense of be part

15:09

of that is amazing have

15:11

sexual communication with partners been

15:13

easy for you i would say

15:16

yes

15:17

pretending i haven't had like awkward moment

15:19

for i'm like oh gosh okay i know i have

15:21

said say what i want

15:22

and pick up an advocate for myself and

15:24

there is definitely times where i'm more comfortable

15:26

or less comfortable but i always end up doing okay

15:29

yeah so i still feel the ceiling

15:32

the time the it easy to

15:34

move past it for me

15:35

jupiter yeah and feeling however

15:38

i know that this has to be

15:39

that i'm anything

15:41

have you had experiences were

15:43

sharing

15:45

your need with a partner has caused them

15:47

to become angry or exploded any

15:49

way shape or form of or are you generally

15:51

able to come

15:52

hate your needs and away where you can be heard

15:55

yeah no i mean i can't think of a

15:57

time where somebody interesting to somebody

15:59

x the load on me when

16:01

i was expressing a need now

16:04

okay well i can't wait to listen to

16:06

all your episodes that absorb your conversation tethers

16:09

like them as yet

16:11

no i mean because again

16:13

it took the always kind of out there

16:15

you know i'm bread crumb a yeah and

16:17

sometimes things have been away you see

16:19

know and so i'm sorry point

16:22

that out to eat out scientists maybe

16:24

i communicate more than most people

16:27

that it does come naturally yeah amazing

16:29

has i know what's on the other side in this actually

16:32

i you know i think it's because i've

16:34

had the reinforcement you know from when

16:36

i was young while the topic

16:38

where the context of being

16:40

an advocate for myself may have been that may have

16:42

been a new contacts you just being an advocate

16:45

for myself is something i've been doing since

16:47

i was younger and off without yeah i think

16:50

that's why it's been an easy transition

16:52

yeah speaking of advocating

16:54

for ourselves it sounds like you also

16:57

started touching yourself before

16:59

you experienced great pleasure from

17:01

partner as we tell us a little bit about what you were

17:04

the about your journey into discovering your own body

17:06

and console it's evolved

17:08

yeah so i remember

17:10

when i was outside we had his

17:12

neighbor is and i would always

17:14

say with her son and they were a nap

17:17

in the middle of it's like naptime family

17:20

and i saw taking naps and i was about to

17:22

yeah and so far as over there playing like say it was

17:24

like a major , are off hot

17:26

and sisters and i did not know what submitter

17:29

like to the say like i don't know i

17:31

still am friends with that kid and his

17:33

mom i should ask they all all

17:37

know i don't have a nap so

17:39

get over five years old and me would have six

17:41

now if you post over there and basically

17:43

was a thirty minute now and then you

17:46

know that he says i get up and resume your place i'm

17:48

so i was putting so much fun playing with my friend

17:50

like i didn't want to leave but they

17:52

would put us in separate rooms and i when

17:54

coffee so i would masturbate because

17:57

having it

17:57

that would make me sleepy

17:59

how did you know why then you are pretty

18:02

young so probably not i didn't know

18:04

know i just knew it felt that guy just

18:06

united new under soviet and then i would

18:08

get i would have an orgasm and get out of that

18:10

i could relax learn from that

18:12

it's high energy play mode as a kid victim

18:14

like prefer i

18:17

can relax and the thirty minutes or that

18:19

yeah that's when i first discovered

18:22

the help things work here can

18:24

you look back over the years and be like on

18:26

than my masturbation seems like this and i went through

18:28

phases that like to have any kind of like larger

18:30

patterns of has the way that you touched your

18:33

pussy changed over the years oh

18:35

definitely i do a whole month

18:37

every year straight masturbation

18:39

every day and i call that my march

18:41

masturbation madness months love

18:44

and it is so incredible because

18:47

what people don't realize it sooner we get clinton

18:49

all these that you're

18:51

actually in as soon as i have even

18:53

if i will get like okay i'm having sex

18:55

the same way i'm grabbing for the same way

18:58

and masturbating the same way and then

19:00

you forget about opposite delicious

19:02

hard when the angle of an area

19:04

of your pussy because there's so much

19:07

going on in there and so many different places and

19:09

ways of feel good i

19:11

consider that month of masturbating

19:14

every day and i do different things

19:16

i had set different challenges for myself

19:19

and it kind of recess everything

19:21

and then you're like well

19:24

i forgot i can orgasm that way and i can

19:26

orgasm that when i forgot how much i really like

19:28

that little trick that always and

19:30

me over the egg and it's fun

19:33

that amazing okay wow ah

19:35

there's too many questions or want to ask you also

19:38

that's the reason that i'm having to make a bucket

19:40

list because i have so many

19:42

favorites and favorite wrestler still

19:44

run

19:45

could you tell us a little bit about the specifics

19:48

of your physical body obviously

19:50

we know that they're like the regular

19:52

good feeling spots but do yours

19:54

have any special tricks what is your sensible

19:57

says

19:57

well being like where does she like to be touched and

19:59

how

20:00

the camera can kind of go ago was this go

20:02

all the way down obviously my brain

20:05

the biggest sex organ that on my

20:07

body and a half the

20:09

have a connection you know a half

20:11

said there's something in you that you know that

20:14

you as a human being a half the way i

20:17

have a tight college just like everybody but

20:19

it's usually the guys they

20:21

don't expect that get the most

20:24

traction with me if you know physically

20:26

you could lineup a lot of guys

20:28

in my friend to go that's or ties after taxes

20:30

the physical assets that always

20:34

the ones that there's a something about unlike

20:36

our worlds or we different you know we've

20:38

definitely like read the the

20:41

guy really pull me and that

20:43

i'm most interested in and then

20:46

of course visual on visual you know we're all

20:48

visual creatures are you looking for you know

20:50

if you have to find you physically attractive

20:53

and , my mouth i mean

20:55

i love to receive

20:58

pleasure and give pleasure with my now

21:00

and of this test this love a great

21:02

kisser if you're a bad kisser that's

21:05

a dealbreaker what's your definition

21:07

of good one feeling and

21:09

the rhythm are patterns are the same

21:11

it's not a conflict or

21:14

even with them when a guy who knew

21:16

openly he did not know how to kiss any was not

21:18

a good kisser and i try to teacher it

21:21

wasn't his teacher his teachers out there i'm

21:24

sure that we had sex with a we

21:26

can never kissed because it is the kissing was

21:28

it wasn't any good never if we start of aside

21:30

like a salad turned me off the list if

21:32

that's definitely

21:35

been with parker from i know not the rhythm ah

21:38

that's not the reddit is it's just me this is not a okay

21:40

both of us okay okay yeah

21:43

, mean eight of the like the dirty or

21:45

to enhancing my basic needs

21:47

to hit something say you know like the bodies

21:50

line out the media march into the same

21:52

be and it worked and it does

21:54

about keep going down oh my gosh

21:56

my breasts are

21:59

big and that you're better

22:01

than i'd like everybody in my family

22:03

fortunate enough have breast reduction but everyone the

22:05

only that they have one that we're tall and play

22:07

him and then we had these you know and

22:10

sometimes they bother me but they're very sensitive

22:13

and sensitive love like oh my god i'd love

22:15

to have my nipples such an

22:17

fit in and i love nipple clamps

22:20

yeah so play without please

22:23

and if i'm on the verge of having an orgasm

22:25

and someone you know start

22:27

sucking on him or bytes on him reports on of it's

22:29

like going to any to think thing it's like a lightning

22:31

rod because my nipples straight down

22:34

the my click just now

22:36

they're going off yeah wow

22:38

i love that man and i send

22:41

my but emitting how i like gas play

22:43

by the one thing that i've not so fond

22:45

of i would say that turns me on his

22:48

part of what mass eaten i don't know why

22:50

i just can't get into it but we didn't stick all

22:52

kinds of stuff in there see i just don't want

22:54

you when your mouth and i don't

22:56

assisted it makes a difference have

22:59

you heard of laurels now

23:02

okay so this natural

23:04

rubber latex paint for they're working on one that's

23:06

not

23:07

that from probably tax but they just got

23:09

sci clearance to be listed as

23:11

a one of the call of barrier like

23:14

a protective barrier they are panties

23:16

that you can put on so it's easier

23:18

to hold on to than a dental dam and

23:20

so for people who like wanna try

23:23

getting into remember like don't put your faith right

23:25

there it creates just like a barrier

23:27

and for me of my pussy

23:29

is so sensitive it makes oral like

23:31

really of it means that someone does single pretty

23:33

hard on me without worrying about like hurting

23:36

my like delicate outside clear

23:38

his skin or whatever so ideas

23:41

i know i have not heard of that

23:43

that would agree that that is a great i love

23:45

you sexy to pursue can get singer pretty

23:47

deep through them the i know i

23:50

have tested them and it's really hot

23:52

and then it also is just

23:54

for me it's casual players not

23:57

oral not something i would necessarily like let

23:59

all the

23:59

be touching

24:01

the for this i'm i got know you guys go down

24:03

everywhere

24:05

right i love that okay

24:07

yeah i think that on the list okay so

24:09

you're okay with things in your but does that include

24:12

digits and fellas yeah

24:15

okay and butt plugs i mean i love

24:17

with it but plug yeah you have

24:19

any favorite somebody just as

24:20

if i had a favorite but plug it in like and have a favorite

24:22

but i have lots that i like a few

24:24

have

24:25

the type i just got an inflatable when i'm excited

24:27

to try

24:28

no i never tried inflatable

24:31

well meaning

24:32

get the i have sat right thursday oh the

24:34

second to the largest one

24:38

an area

24:39

at my favorite the

24:41

be the they're at so and then

24:43

as we work our way around

24:44

you know my pussy and my clear that

24:47

through the magic happens married as there's

24:50

so many ways

24:53

and angles and area as you

24:55

know of our vagina that are so what

24:57

sensitive and the media

24:59

for ways to com you know the ace by

25:02

the g spot squirting

25:05

my classmates the and i remember

25:07

when i was masturbating on in march

25:10

for the whole month i remembered oh yeah there's this

25:12

one spot just below me quit and

25:14

right at the entrance my pussy

25:16

if i'm pushing up on the phone with some

25:18

index fingers the pubic bone right there you

25:20

have any insight stats on his

25:22

right there

25:23

right there is like

25:27

using ah that is

25:29

so cool

25:30

yeah that's why giving yourself enough

25:32

time to masturbate in explore

25:34

is so important and

25:36

and also when becomes got this on

25:38

my i guess the breathing their

25:40

breath yes so if you're doing

25:42

lot of

25:46

the then it

25:47

i'm out greeting

25:50

something different in your body

25:53

that doesn't say relax

25:55

it says ron panic fuck

25:57

out of here we're in panic mode

26:00

when you're doing anything strenuous even

26:02

if you're exercising if you can just

26:04

breathe in and out of your nose it com

26:06

ceo it keeps you com and

26:09

it's just so much better so you have to

26:11

sort of realize to and having sex like how your breeding

26:13

really as assesses in the outcome is if

26:15

you understand that their proper

26:17

he then that changes the whole

26:19

orgasm game right then yes

26:23

ah that is

26:23

the good observation wow

26:25

i love thinking about our lungs are the sex organ

26:27

to and we don't

26:29

i'm not from good panting but i also know

26:32

you know like when it's time to be

26:34

in that space and that receive

26:37

all that that when my breathing right

26:39

oh they look out for supper

26:42

what about body wise seat

26:45

or neck and ears i

26:47

love than double the and when

26:50

a dominant grabs my throat

26:52

the or puts his hand on my to act ah

26:56

yeah i do love choking and

26:58

that stuff that turns me on big time

27:00

like sometimes they didn't need then there's

27:03

been times when i've had a dominant i would just

27:05

take his hand and put it on my throw and he's

27:07

a new like what exactly what i needed

27:09

was needing in that mom's death

27:12

of that is so beautiful so can you tell us a little bit

27:14

actually about how you discovered your kinky

27:16

submissive self and got into the world of

27:18

bdsm that started

27:21

about when i started to cure for diaries

27:23

bout six years ago that was in reaction

27:25

to realizing that

27:27

i had gone to read a half years with

27:29

no sex you know no physical contact

27:32

with another person and

27:34

i woke up one day just was like what are

27:36

you doing to yourself this yourself this

27:39

you better stop wasting the pretty you need

27:41

to get out there and to make

27:43

it fun i decided that i was gonna make

27:45

a sex bucket list and

27:47

other gonna give myself a year to

27:50

make my sex life as much of a priority as

27:52

i did like my business life and

27:54

i'm really going to put

27:57

it at the top of the pyramid basically

27:59

when when i'm not you know i wanted to memorialize

28:02

it with a podcast because i was really curious

28:05

about put all these things on my list

28:07

i wanted to try and i was really curious about

28:10

who i would become it

28:12

who would i be at the end of the i'm

28:15

nervous about that like and i really

28:17

my perception was i'm going to do stuff

28:20

the hammer close that chapter and

28:23

that will be that another back to my been all life

28:25

as i know that was what i really think so

28:27

deep as i did it doesn't

28:29

happen obviously but the weather

28:31

things on that list was bdsm and

28:34

so i was lucky enough to

28:36

find a partner that new

28:39

about bdsm then could lead

28:41

me through all the things

28:44

that i good experience

28:46

i didn't know that i was submissive i

28:49

just wanted to try some spanking some

28:51

tokyo yes some of the very

28:53

basic stuff that you think bdsm

28:55

lived about as i really had no idea

28:57

at that point i did not know what i didn't know

28:59

same what he did very

29:02

lucky because it was clear

29:04

as i started interviewing and media

29:06

the guy that said they were dominant

29:08

that they were they just were guys

29:10

athena either like the boss to run lemon

29:13

or been watching a lot of porn and that was what they thought a dominant

29:15

dead and didn't understand the

29:17

power exchange the dynamic that

29:20

you know one hand washes the other that

29:23

the to are really equal

29:25

and each person brings with a brain

29:27

it when it comes together just

29:29

frickin magic

29:31

we were together for three nephews and

29:33

he never the queen faster

29:35

than he knew i should go even know

29:37

when i started doing it i wanted it more

29:40

and as i know i want you to push me they keep saying want

29:42

you to push me i want you to push me he

29:45

never wavered he never

29:48

put me in a position where i would want

29:50

to go you know like oh my god

29:52

no yeah yeah you really did take me to for i wasn't

29:54

ready for that yeah

29:55

never

29:56

than looking back i can say is

29:58

there were times i get fresher with i keep

30:00

telling you i want you to push me more but scan

30:02

a good down there is always thinking with your

30:04

best her yeah regardless

30:07

and so he cancer that he

30:10

really i mean i just i can't

30:12

say enough about how fortunate

30:14

i feel the to have met him and been walk

30:16

through it that way into come out

30:18

of it with the understanding that i now

30:20

and the knowledge and knowing

30:22

how much part of me that is why

30:25

i need that and it made so

30:27

much sense when i look back on other relationships

30:30

and couldn't figure out why those

30:32

guys

30:33

we're

30:35

i keep thinking

30:37

three people shouldn't be

30:40

element was missing but that

30:42

one element with thing and it's a big one

30:45

provided or have to live my life without it

30:47

and it's always be going going great

30:49

why am i not more into him and you know

30:51

all that stuff so i do wow

30:54

that and credible so you met this

30:57

new relationship with a monogamous relationship

30:59

for the three and a half years

31:00

no okay i would say we reply

31:02

mostly with each other by again

31:04

when i started driscoll diaries

31:07

the premise was i had the sex bucket list

31:09

and i wanted to explore all these

31:11

things and some of these things wouldn't

31:13

really be suited to

31:16

just one percent mean all of them could

31:18

not be met by one person yes

31:20

this is my

31:22

backwards way i guess ensue

31:24

non monogamy then

31:26

because of that circumstance the

31:28

just allowed me to you know as i would meet the

31:30

high as it was a great icebreaker be like

31:32

about the six bucket list and i'm devoting this

31:34

year it's had the tips will bring me saying

31:37

the and the want to be part of it

31:39

and the fun part is that a lot of the

31:41

guys would say yeah he thought somebody

31:43

starts book it was too i'm going to do that and

31:45

so it really binding because

31:48

they wanted to experience we were doing some

31:50

new things together to the now

31:53

and nothing yeah i think you know confronted

31:55

bring you closer like having a common

31:58

goal with someone and then the

32:00

caring about them and though

32:03

our process you know i had multiple

32:05

partners and have multiple partners as the the same

32:07

time and also i've loved more

32:09

than one person at the same time something i

32:11

never thought you know that i had to bandwidth

32:13

for but now i get it you know yeah oh

32:18

okay i am

32:19

oh heartened because

32:22

i'm in the process of creating really

32:24

like probably too complicated sexual bucket

32:26

list because there's so much stuff i would a try but that's

32:28

what my future website creation place

32:30

or it's it's up but i'm working on it the going

32:33

to hold so it can be a place to invite

32:35

people to participate in that so i would

32:37

love

32:38

the hear from you what did you put at

32:40

the top of it was just i'm sure you didn't

32:42

go in order can have whatever the available that like over

32:44

there experience like you've crossed us

32:46

or the bucket list items you haven't crossed stuff like tell us

32:49

everything you can think of at the top

32:51

of your head how

32:54

it went as i had the initial bucket list people

32:56

sending messages on my show that i'm they are always

32:58

asking

32:59

you know like

33:02

it's too sensitive

33:03

a little instrument that had

33:05

led me through this whole thing for six

33:07

years and also it's a great

33:09

ice breaker even when you're a couple

33:12

you can do together sheriff there's so

33:14

many different things get you talking communicating

33:16

that's exactly my hope yeah right

33:19

and when you're single it's like this

33:21

is a great you leave with the story and

33:23

people have that year the like oh my

33:25

gosh that's into you know nobody was

33:27

turned off by had specific of even

33:29

if he thought i don't think that for me very

33:32

was still really interested and you know advocating

33:35

for me and cheering me on so yeah

33:37

i started with that and it's grown and evolved

33:40

over the years because of beauty of

33:42

it is my opinion six

33:44

beget sex of the more you are

33:46

doing it and you're active with it

33:49

just becomes a party your daily routine

33:51

you're always on your own feeling

33:53

it you're always horny i feel like this

33:56

is how guys walk around all the time know and

33:58

yet the

34:00

i'm in no mood to and it's very

34:02

fun

34:03

you and you're like okay

34:05

i really thought i wanted to try

34:07

this

34:09

and because you were open and you were in that circumstance

34:12

that may not be the thing that lily floats

34:14

your boat when you're in that encounter yeah

34:16

but through that encounter of you

34:18

discover something else me though holy

34:21

shit i never knew

34:23

that could feel so good or had no

34:25

idea i would be that and

34:28

i'm excited new

34:30

thing that i discovered because i was

34:32

open and i went for act and

34:35

it was really why that you

34:37

know shop pop my head off though

34:40

it had always gives you new thing

34:43

then you in a different direction and so your

34:45

list will never be dry

34:47

like you won't with graduating often though

34:50

right now

34:52

yeah no it's a limitless

34:54

i mean it really is and so for people when they say they

34:56

have were inseparable my listen there's

34:58

a solution trust me like there is

35:01

limitless possibilities you can find some

35:03

things it's definitely buyers year

35:05

rockets the man yes yes

35:07

i love that you have any specific

35:09

examples of thing for your like i thought i wanted

35:11

this but now i've discovered this or there any specific

35:14

episodes that you're like this

35:15

to see that you want a direct people do

35:17

i have two hundred and eighty one

35:20

that i cannot so i don't know if they're

35:22

all i get it i buy

35:24

a place i feel like there are you think is a very

35:26

open with survey talk about

35:28

i will say kind of really

35:30

good example of that was i

35:32

had on my list you know i wanted to go to sex party

35:35

and i saw the original draw

35:37

was when it be fun to be part

35:39

of an orgy angeles you know like the

35:42

have bodies everywhere and free

35:44

flowing and all that

35:45

the what had really good partner and we

35:47

were and when

35:50

i got there it was nothing

35:52

like i had envisioned nothing

35:54

my you know i had my head i mean

35:57

while either that can be like eyes wide

35:59

shut

35:59

you know just we were going

36:02

worth oh the beautiful people in the beautiful

36:04

city with the masquerade seems i'm like oh i

36:06

the i was like dressed and who

36:08

had out we roll up and thing as obvious

36:11

as beautiful big mansion on the hill

36:13

and we roll up and were in the suburbs

36:15

and there's you know like try

36:18

to go then soccer balls in the through

36:20

them going oh my gosh where are we

36:22

here we go into this person's house and

36:24

it's a totally takes over save covered

36:26

every bedroom their kids bunk beds

36:28

everything and plastic there was a

36:31

pot luck with delhi

36:33

analysis like

36:35

oh yeah this

36:38

is no neither

36:39

gonna be able amazon

36:41

earth and people were all over the place

36:43

having sex walking around and naked

36:46

and some people were in great shape some people were

36:48

not have different age groups with everything

36:50

and everybody and like i said for a split

36:52

second homicide image

36:54

is no no no and then

36:56

very quickly

36:58

lightened up and i think you know it no wait a

37:00

minute this is what it's supposed to be

37:03

sex is for everybody

37:05

everywhere answer and look

37:07

at this and then once i got over

37:09

that initial like about pop my little bubble about

37:11

what i thought me i'm gonna find tom cruise

37:13

around the corner i started to really

37:16

take it all in then you could

37:18

feel the sexual energy yeah

37:20

it was like wow

37:23

okay now i think i mean do that

37:25

the rich are walking around and were checking

37:27

out different rooms are different themes

37:30

and i do gravitate

37:32

towards the word your room like i thought

37:34

well we went into the couples room the

37:36

to work there was a couple coupled officer everywhere

37:39

having sex with each other and

37:42

i looked at my partner and i was like okay

37:44

i wasn't quite that was my first very first

37:47

time and as a kid i wasn't comfortable this river

37:49

my clothes the democrats but i was like this

37:51

can only give this guy the best blow job of

37:53

his life and i'm gonna

37:55

let everybody else watch and wish

37:57

they were him and so

37:59

started doing that i could

38:02

hear people behind me and what they were

38:04

stay in their start the in there watching

38:06

and that's what really turned me

38:08

on it was that voyeuristic

38:11

part of it was being watched it

38:13

was been the cause of all this desire

38:16

from these random strangers didn't matter

38:18

who was who's just sit like they

38:21

found what i was doing so

38:23

hot and i could hear what they were saying

38:25

and then they were searching their partners

38:27

because of it it it was just of the okay

38:29

i like being launched i had no idea

38:32

that turned me on oh my god that

38:34

amazing

38:35

then the next time i did it the next summer

38:37

when to a sex party because i knew

38:40

that it literally

38:42

was one of the hottest

38:45

wettest most turned on

38:47

experiences of my life like i

38:49

was just pushing down my leg

38:52

onto the i was so outside

38:55

of that yeah

38:56

again i would have never known

38:58

that is just another family

39:05

you know when have discovered that so it's

39:07

just kind of staying curious thing

39:09

open a good ellen as long

39:12

as something not offensive

39:14

it's consensual nearby these are not

39:16

being infringed on and you know just see

39:18

riddled kill ah ah

39:20

yeah

39:21

oh cool what else have you

39:23

like discovered about yourself or kind of learned

39:25

in the process of these exploration

39:28

i mean oh my gosh i mean there's whole

39:31

list i mean that we can go on for our

39:33

actually like i could do a podcast on

39:36

that subject below what i've learned

39:37

good luck on me

39:40

notice the sexual stuff

39:42

appear the kinks the turn on you

39:44

know getting more closely linked

39:46

in intimate with your own body

39:49

i thought i knew my body i really

39:51

do know my body amazing

39:54

i had a great relationship with my body

39:57

and so many people don't and you know you

39:59

don't and

39:59

are you

40:01

italy creating a time

40:03

and space for the things to happen

40:06

they also just you know how

40:08

important a sexuality

40:11

is for us it's such a shame that

40:13

people don't prior

40:15

hi it and what i've learned

40:18

is that they're gone along

40:20

and done this is really a savage

40:22

sister habit we am habits

40:24

of exercising regularly or not

40:27

or we have habits of you know we we get up and

40:29

we follow the same

40:30

the we brush your teeth we did you know the

40:31

the things we do we're in the habit of doing everyday

40:33

intimate away and we don't have to think

40:35

that it's second nature in your sexuality

40:38

can

40:40

run on that same premise and

40:42

it absolutely should run on that same premise

40:44

because

40:45

we're so wired for pleasure

40:47

as human beings we need air

40:50

to keep going or dopamine system need

40:52

it

40:53

the final you touched on it

40:55

you know in our previous record the about at

40:57

a more people were getting that pleasure

40:59

people would be cut each other often you know

41:01

we'd have a lot less road rage and

41:04

people be taking things like personally

41:06

and there's a lot that would not be

41:08

such a big deal and you

41:11

know the fact that he didn't take the garbage out

41:13

last night you're having fake orgasms

41:15

and great sexual connectivity with your

41:17

partner be like or whatever you for dot

41:19

you know like that wouldn't be the issue

41:22

you know

41:23

how the great stuff the communication

41:27

the connection to another

41:28

human being

41:30

the main thing and sexes

41:32

just a big big interwar part of

41:34

that and so i

41:36

could go on for

41:37

they're not what what

41:39

out to one thing

41:41

the that blew my mind the us whereas

41:43

i sifted my partner and

41:46

i saw him have a prostate orgasm

41:49

and you know

41:51

i will say they were

41:53

saying he's actually to respond to try to fit

41:55

to it it salads and that's not real

41:57

on you know they found found bomb in

41:59

abundance

41:59

well i had realized

42:02

there was something that i was doing that

42:04

either killed here there were plenty

42:06

to because that's what i've seen on porn the

42:08

crisis other people

42:09

jack like the i guess or yelena

42:12

net and that does it you know and say okay

42:14

he's a federal tax levied a photo

42:18

and and rushing and you know

42:20

how that feels when you select and emiratis russians

42:22

is a sports i want nothing to the next step i'm

42:25

gonna to but i didn't know it you

42:27

know and so

42:28

the things that i've done with men

42:31

got me to slow down

42:33

really appreciate and celebrate

42:35

their penis like i want them to celebrate my

42:37

pussy and tv

42:39

prostate orgasms with your fist

42:41

is mind blowing

42:44

working

42:45

reaction because i've never seen

42:47

it you know and i've never given night

42:49

and to see how pleasurable

42:52

that is then to understand

42:55

and also distance feel that feeling that amazing

42:57

feeling when you give your partner that

42:59

much pleasure well

43:02

i mean i can be satisfied that

43:04

that's amazing you know it's

43:06

such thing about reciprocity it's get

43:09

that and i love this person i care for them

43:12

look at how

43:13

political and happy they are right now and

43:15

i just got the a part of that it's amazing

43:18

absolutely amazing do you feel

43:20

comfortable sharing details because i would like to add this

43:22

to my bucket list now what position

43:25

are you in for that i haven't done that

43:27

research suggests doubt

43:29

where were you did you wear gloves over like

43:32

no i would go on free will be planned

43:34

it as

43:35

you can you can try

43:37

somebody but i don't know how you will receive

43:39

that will be a much snow any visitors

43:41

whenever someone is like i

43:44

don't really have any boundaries i'm up for anything or

43:46

my asshole responses or oh great i've

43:48

been wanting to try this thing is

43:51

, joke that they possess i got yeah

43:54

though the partner in a latino

43:56

play and he had

43:58

always wanted to experience the and

44:00

so i was like of course i'm like oh my gosh

44:03

yes you want to do this with me i would love to as

44:06

so we planned for you know he prepped

44:08

and thought everything below

44:10

the i just did a lot to do seem got everything cleaned

44:12

out everything there for me was very with you know very

44:15

respectful of me and hooked us up bother me

44:17

but i still appreciate the fact that minute

44:19

you don't want to stumble don't want lot of it and so

44:21

you know or he did that and then she

44:24

knew how to continue with somebody

44:26

you know he knew how to we started with

44:28

some butt plugs and and warm the mob

44:31

and did some stuff while

44:32

we put

44:34

something bigger and a glass dildo

44:37

and we to switch sympathizers intel

44:40

you know he was ready and he was understand

44:43

just

44:45

the united looking at him once you did

44:48

and , was just really seen a guiding me through it

44:50

kind of tiny what to do and it was it's

44:52

costs and conversation he no dialogue

44:54

of course sexy dialogue about

44:57

you know i can see just his reaction

45:00

and what was going on at

45:02

when he came i wasn't even to i did not

45:04

fit his penis and i questioned cool

45:07

you know it could benefit and benefit and was going

45:09

the now moving at the way

45:11

you know with the motion and know the

45:13

and the rhythm that he wanted and then

45:15

the minute he would get more sided i was like

45:17

okay so would speed up and make sure that was okay

45:20

and oh my gosh when he came it was

45:22

incredible prepare my yeah

45:24

i felt like a kid on christmas

45:27

my face was more lit up in his because

45:29

i just couldn't believe what i'm seeing what

45:31

i was doing you know really

45:34

cool i highly recommend it if

45:36

you don't mind fuck oh i'm excited

45:38

as excited mean and i would totally administered in

45:41

totally murder someone had a time to they wanted help with

45:43

that i'll i'll be down with that too few

45:45

assist in your sense of personal

45:47

power i know you strike me as a person in the sound

45:50

the you have been a person that is always had

45:52

strong sense of self very eerie

45:54

that the

45:55

do you feel like you've noticed a shift

45:58

yeah

45:59

like

45:59

last year

46:01

i think my overall tolerance

46:04

and love for human beings

46:05

the creator

46:08

maybe

46:09

the

46:10

my customers better if

46:13

i understand he puts so much better

46:15

instead of just seen as type a you know

46:17

that's like okay where this armor i'm

46:20

you know i kick ass and i

46:22

take name says i'm a pit bull and panties

46:24

and ah you know that i can take

46:26

that ah and be in my

46:28

salmon end which is where i really

46:31

am designed to be

46:33

is where i'm my athiest despair i

46:35

am calm and relaxed

46:37

and again i get to you know

46:40

put my trust and someone else and really

46:42

know

46:43

in a way that

46:44

he out and do otherwise

46:47

side that scenario

46:50

you know and i really select

46:52

from me focusing on my sex life

46:54

ben

46:55

the best teacher and the single

46:58

most best thing i haven't done

47:00

for myself

47:01

today

47:03

worker i believe it

47:05

believe am so excited like literally feel so

47:07

lit up uninspired to go they finish my bucket

47:09

finish mean not finish it finish guess start it gets will never

47:11

be finished

47:12

though

47:13

the river the unfinished right it's ongoing

47:15

what are the top of it currently

47:17

the one thing the one thing

47:19

i have a

47:20

the but i'm very good very

47:23

good

47:23

the reason ah

47:27

earlier a be elusive through

47:29

the rights as you're bi curious tell us about that

47:31

with the fantasy of the season and your clothes okay

47:33

what right this has been my

47:35

mount kilimanjaro

47:36

the

47:38

prefer it you have been the truth

47:40

of it is is once i haven't are

47:42

probably understand the reason like the timing

47:44

was not right then then band

47:47

but it is now and now i'm feeling

47:49

really like yes i have a partner

47:51

that is bisexual and he doesn't mind

47:53

you know another guy and so i'm

47:56

all about like i want all that masculine energy

47:59

and a sense in like flynn

47:59

me have no problem

48:02

admitting that

48:04

the to be the pillar princess the and that's

48:06

my fantasy for the first time adams's

48:08

shower me with all this attention

48:10

and i was double penetration

48:13

and i was double virginal penetration

48:16

i don't know how well that's going to go but

48:18

again if you're breathing right and you're relax

48:20

yeah i think i can do it was

48:23

so i have two guys that

48:25

are good to go on it we're just trying to plan the day

48:27

so i'm

48:28

uber insider that's

48:30

amazing how can so excited to hold

48:32

out hope for you

48:34

oh everybody all that have ah

48:36

yes indeed the good energy wishes okay

48:39

and what what or anything else that you're

48:41

like i'm craving this or there any

48:43

the really super satisfying the checkout

48:45

i'm reacting of

48:46

i'm i'm worried done

48:49

like a destination either warrior everybody's

48:51

new and you're there for a while so that some i

48:53

last saw i was just talking

48:56

to a couple in their like you need to cut they

48:58

put put them together and and they're like you could do a podcast

49:00

from their mike brearley and an ass guess

49:04

that would be too much fun so much

49:07

i'm moving more now into

49:09

that

49:10

the they scratched a lot of the thing

49:13

is ah

49:14

and they've all been

49:16

amazing when i love to find

49:18

another job

49:18

it that takes time and know

49:20

it i can't force die then be

49:23

able to go deeper into my submission

49:25

you know have someone take me even cheaper than

49:27

i already have fan though

49:29

that i would love to do and

49:32

right now my focus is more on that

49:34

just some burning side so

49:36

i took an erotic massage course

49:39

and i gave my partner

49:41

in our erotic massage

49:44

and

49:45

i have no idea

49:47

how many ways you could touch a penis

49:49

oh my god that's all my with iraq without

49:51

feathers on my list about okay oh

49:54

wow i'm in to send you to the press

49:55

and i'm just telling you

49:58

we did apart as about as about couple

49:59

that are days ago

50:01

my partner with eight he had or guess

50:03

who said it was like when i first started having orgasms

50:05

when i was young the way of felt when it was

50:07

new law i'm

50:09

telling him the way he'd never been touched before

50:12

and ice and such he can't get

50:14

all the his hand movements and all these things

50:17

i was combining together and

50:19

it was unbelievable like i loved

50:21

again i loved it i could hear him moaning

50:24

and sounds you would make another

50:27

oh yeah i'm sending him to another

50:29

level

50:30

it was great and though because

50:32

so i'm just focused on getting much

50:34

bet you know getting better at that that

50:37

gain muscle memory for it wanna

50:39

try can try you know like the

50:41

really want to get the into

50:43

more of just the really

50:46

the deeper connected

50:47

thing that i've experienced

50:50

and stumbled on i wanna

50:52

be mindful and really go after

50:54

really a woman after my own a heard yes

50:57

oh good when realize

50:59

you were this curious

51:01

i mean i'm always been curious

51:04

i love you know my dominant so much

51:06

as if you tell me not to stick my

51:08

finger on the hot stove and been have stick my finger

51:10

on a hostile serious yeah tell me

51:12

now i can't do i am like i

51:15

have to the naughty you know like i have to

51:17

experience it i mean you know

51:19

where the line and sometimes

51:21

that's your action and so i

51:23

am curious that with ago okay with

51:25

this about you know like i loved investigated

51:27

loved to check things out and i love to explore

51:30

the people and just human

51:31

richard is fascinates me

51:33

the

51:34

i think i've always kind of been like that

51:36

someone has be one time ago

51:38

what's wrong with you repeat as a child like

51:40

know i think that's a problem i wasn't be as

51:42

i wasn't nearly as that mimic i wasn't

51:45

beat me like i said i didn't have these limited

51:47

flights in i think it's not down it was like

51:49

well , know why so few places going to

51:52

give me some lessons but you know go

51:54

ahead and take your shot you know so i always

51:56

felt like it's as it's doesn't work

51:58

like i'll recover from that know keys

51:59

moving forward and i was always like where there's a will

52:02

there's a way if i can't go through the front door i'll go through

52:04

the window like you know when i get really

52:06

determine make

52:08

it happen though we're hitting a roadblock

52:11

doesn't bother me i don't probably need that

52:13

the city the waste other people would take it like

52:16

oh that didn't work i'm like know that angle

52:18

didn't work but this one well i

52:20

guess i love that so

52:22

much and much and the midst of an epiphany

52:24

because i am the type of person it's like

52:27

well i don't want to cross your line so if you could just

52:29

tell me all the rules i like won't bother

52:31

your lines and i just heard

52:34

you say like i need to know where the line isn't

52:36

sometimes you gotta find out by crossing it so

52:38

are you identify as a brat i

52:41

know i mean movies is stubborn

52:43

you know of any starboard spared the pardon

52:45

me that i might test you from time

52:47

to time not in in and knowing

52:49

way both it might be because i want to be reassured

52:52

that you're still the one in control or

52:54

because it initially it initially beginning i'm not

52:56

sure you know and like i said like i need

52:59

to know where the line is too you

53:01

know how far then i push

53:03

you an outline no and

53:05

you'll need dialogue about that because sometimes

53:08

especially from the submissive point of view

53:10

things that were the not

53:13

okay at one point do

53:15

become okay you no want

53:17

to so far there and

53:19

explore more

53:21

war again maybe you initially thought

53:24

that would be okay and for some reason

53:26

you know in the middle of it sucks it's

53:28

not

53:29

and you have to feel

53:31

comfortable and know that you can use

53:33

your safe word

53:35

and stop with the play at

53:37

any point

53:38

then things uncomfortable you know even

53:40

though you gave permission for it when he

53:42

started

53:44

you know you did circle back and talked about

53:46

a in l okay

53:48

what are your hopes for your sex life going

53:51

forward on a larger scale

53:53

not specific bucket list items purchased what do you hope

53:55

your sex life as like in the future

53:58

i really hope that

53:59

maintain since i'm let's see

54:02

then

54:03

connection with the people that

54:05

are in my life that matter most until

54:07

i keep my last breath

54:11

and if you could go back in time and give

54:13

younger you a piece of sex advice what

54:15

age are ages would you pick and won't you

54:18

say start exploring bdsm

54:21

sooner

54:24

you're missing out to be this time

54:27

span in your twenties his or her be missing

54:29

out on others good stuff you know like i

54:31

just try to give myself going down that road

54:33

sooner i have mrs so i could have

54:35

more of a

54:37

the i'm not going to ask you the have a question for

54:39

because you already as the a bunch of questions

54:41

and everyone should go listen to my

54:44

episode on the curious girl diaries

54:46

will have a link to that in my show notes that you can

54:48

go figure all of the how layla thank you so

54:50

much for being a guest on the show yeah

54:52

thank you so much for having me it's been a pleasure

54:55

lovers that is are so this week if you let

54:57

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54:59

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55:02

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55:20

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55:22

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