0:01

Welcome to the show. I'm

0:03

Dr. Corey Allen and as always, here alongside

0:05

my wife Pam. Always glad to be here.

0:08

On Sexy Marriage Radio, we're going to have

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regular conversations that help cultivate the space between

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0:28

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0:31

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0:33

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1:00

then if you got some feedback for the show or something

1:02

we missed or we haven't covered, let

1:05

us know. Call the show at 214-702-9565 or as has

1:07

been there for 12 years, feedback at sexymarriageradio.com. So

1:15

coming up on today's regular version, how

1:17

well do you think you flirt? I'm

1:21

terrible at it. I may

1:23

disagree a little bit. How would you think

1:25

I flirt? I think you're

1:27

pretty good at it. Well, maybe we

1:29

got some things we can each learn today. We talk about

1:32

how do we flirt? This is from an email that came

1:34

in from a listener on wife

1:36

wants him to flirt some more. And he's like, I don't

1:38

even know what to do. How do I do this? Are

1:40

there resources out there that will help? So we're

1:42

going to try to help frame that conversation. And

1:45

then on the extended content today,

1:47

which is deeper, longer, and there

1:49

are no ads, you can subscribe

1:52

at smr.fm slash academy. We're

1:54

going to look at a comment

1:57

that came through in the academy at the

1:59

my.smr.fm. FM platform where

2:02

a wife, the way to phrase

2:05

this is a wife makes

2:07

a husband feel gross that he's attracted

2:09

to her. Okay.

2:11

So her reactions instigate that in

2:15

him. So

2:18

what's going on on both sides of this

2:20

equation? Dilemma. Well that's coming up right after

2:22

this. What's

2:25

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2:27

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long would you say our list to

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get things done this Christmas season is?

3:00

It rolls out

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3:34

the holiday season. I mean your office

3:36

probably always has sweet drop-by.

3:39

Yes, all kinds of stuff being delivered. I

3:41

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3:44

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4:26

get 50% off. So as we jump

4:28

in, before we get into flirting and

4:31

I flirt with you on the air, I don't

4:34

know if that makes good radio or not. I don't think it does.

4:36

No. I am curious.

4:38

This is a conversation that instigated

4:41

from an old episode

4:43

of Seinfeld of the

4:45

idea of good naked and bad naked. Okay.

4:48

Yes. Right. I think everybody

4:50

can agree that there's good naked

4:52

and there's bad naked. Yeah. And

4:54

on the show, they use bad naked as

4:57

in, you know, straining to try to open

4:59

a jar of pickles or she's

5:01

working on his bike. Working on a bike.

5:03

Yeah. Oh, that pinched. Yeah. That's and he's

5:05

like, I can't unsee that. You know, well,

5:07

but it got me thinking in

5:11

other areas of our married

5:13

life together, wherever everything can

5:16

get woven together and there

5:18

would be elements of bad

5:20

naked possibly. Okay.

5:23

And that could be, you know, I know across

5:25

the board, there's some couples that everything's

5:27

open game in the bathroom in

5:30

front of each other. And then there's other

5:32

couples where it's like, uh, I'm shutting the

5:35

door. I don't want to see anything. I

5:37

don't want to know anything about some of

5:39

the bodily functions that every human being has.

5:41

Right. So my question becomes does

5:43

bad naked impact negatively

5:48

our erotic energies between us, our

5:50

arousal towards each other, our

5:53

passion when it comes to

5:55

the sexual natures of us? Well,

5:58

I would think this would be a person by person. basis.

6:00

I absolutely do too. This isn't just a broad

6:02

comment. And part of this is to pose the

6:04

question for the nation that let's jump on

6:06

the platform at my.smr.fm and tell me

6:08

what you think, but I'm

6:10

curious. I

6:12

think it could be if my spouse

6:17

is someone who just has no

6:21

social awareness, no awareness that

6:24

that just really grosses me out or I

6:26

find it really not

6:28

attractive and they do

6:30

it, continue to do it. I'm like that.

6:32

I mean just like anything else if you

6:34

continue to do whether it's in the

6:37

naked scene or not, if

6:39

you continue to do some things that I just

6:43

don't like, it's

6:45

gonna tick me off or it

6:47

will have impact, deter me or have

6:49

impact on the other side

6:52

of things,

6:54

other aspects of our

6:56

relationship including whether

6:59

I'm aroused or turned on

7:01

or how that affects the

7:03

intimate side of things. I think

7:05

there's aspects of what our minds

7:07

categorize and lock away in memories

7:09

that we can't undo sometimes. They

7:11

just can rear their head. Because

7:14

there's elements of I can reframe the meaning

7:16

of it, but I

7:18

can't unsee some things. I'm

7:21

just gonna leave it at that just

7:24

to help people think through is

7:26

that something that could potentially be impacting

7:28

us because we've even talked about in

7:31

the past, there

7:33

are as you age and evolve in

7:35

our bodies, there

7:37

are positions that aren't as sexy

7:40

as maybe they once were. Okay,

7:42

that's a whole nother topic. Well,

7:44

but it's the same principle of that's why everything

7:48

looks sexy by candlelight or at least

7:50

you increase the likelihood rather than fluorescent lights. Lighting

7:54

help for sure. Or sunlight directly

7:56

above you. No matter what. A.D.U.I.

8:00

Exactly. But it's just that it's

8:03

for those of you in the nation and for us

8:06

that are constantly, I'm constantly

8:08

back to as we pivot towards the

8:10

flirting, I'm constantly trying to figure out

8:13

how do I maintain an energy

8:15

and a tension in

8:17

that arena of our life, of

8:20

our sex life, of our erotic, of

8:23

the passion, of the connection. How

8:25

do I maintain a

8:27

vibe there just

8:30

under the surface as much as possible? And one

8:32

of the thoughts could be are some

8:34

of the normal everyday things where we just kind

8:36

of think lightly of it in the sense that

8:39

we're just walking around naked while we're getting dressed

8:41

and it just becomes kind of unknown, well could

8:43

that possibly be impacting it? That's the question.

8:46

Could be impacting it positively.

8:48

Maybe I'm someone who never wants to be naked

8:51

and that's a

8:53

deterrent. Right. Well there's memes I've seen on

8:55

the socials, which if

8:57

you check us out at Sexy Marriage

9:00

Radio on any of the Instagram, TikTok,

9:02

YouTube, Facebook, we're there under all of

9:04

them. But I've come across memes where

9:06

a wife is like, I could

9:09

take my shirt off for the two

9:12

millionth time and then it shows a husband

9:14

come running in real quick. I don't care.

9:17

I always want, and I think that's

9:19

a component, but this is a deeper

9:22

thought process just to help have

9:25

people think through it. And how does

9:27

that land? And then let us know because I'm very

9:29

curious of how this impacts

9:31

people. I love it. All right. And

9:34

so this is the other thing that came in with the email was

9:36

just entitled, how do I flirt with my wife? And

9:38

so his message just goes, my wife told me that

9:41

she wants me to flirt with her more, but

9:43

I don't know how. When I try, I'm

9:45

too obvious and she just rolls her eyes.

9:48

What are the one principles and

9:51

two practices of flirting? And

9:53

then can you tell me the what, the

9:55

how, and some concrete examples and even better,

9:58

do you know any resources can

10:00

turn to to help me practice flirting. I'm

10:03

looking for books with

10:05

homework or exercises or

10:08

mantras etc. He is

10:10

coming at this. He put his research hat on.

10:13

Hey I'm going to email feedback at sexy

10:15

marriage radio dot com. Help me learn how

10:17

to do this because as you've just mentioned,

10:19

this is one of those things. I think

10:22

for some people this may come natural because

10:24

it's kind of their extroverted personality.

10:27

Yeah I'm playful. I

10:29

think this way the folks

10:32

like me, not so

10:35

much. I wonder if I can

10:37

put together a flirting spreadsheet

10:40

that has a bunch of algorithm macros

10:42

in there that help that. Okay I'm

10:45

tired. No that would work for me.

10:47

Perfect. In this situation do

10:49

that but then as you get older

10:52

my steel trap has kind of

10:54

gone out the window. I've

10:56

got to have it like in a written

10:58

laminated beside you know throughout the house. Right

11:01

and so I guess first off we have to

11:03

decide and define what is flirting because

11:05

some of this is going to be in

11:07

the eye of the sender and the receiver.

11:10

As he's describing he'll try he tries it

11:12

she's like. True

11:16

because her definition of flirting or

11:18

what she likes might

11:21

be clearly it's totally different than

11:23

what he thinks it is. So we have different

11:25

definitions here of what is a good flirt. What

11:28

makes it interesting

11:31

in this dynamic to me Pam is

11:35

just because it may not land

11:37

doesn't mean it wasn't still

11:39

a flirt. I

11:43

agree. I need to adjust

11:46

to situation and to person

11:48

I'm directing it towards because

11:50

we've tried this well let me rephrase

11:53

over the journey I've had in the

11:56

last 15 years or so where

11:58

it was truly trying to just

12:01

solidify self, be

12:03

more engaged with who I really am,

12:05

be more authentic, be more provocative,

12:09

be more edgy, be more whatever

12:11

it might be where beforehand

12:13

it was objectification is how it would land

12:15

a lot of times. But then

12:18

it started just becoming more expressive of

12:20

just who I am. So

12:23

in what ways? I mean, are we talking about examples here?

12:26

Well, I think there's elements of what

12:29

I think of is I would try

12:31

something, I would say some things just

12:33

try to elicit a reaction. That

12:36

was the objectification. There was something tied

12:39

to the move before the statement beforehand.

12:42

Now it's something that's just

12:44

going on in me. I'm just sharing. And

12:47

I used to always have it in mind of

12:49

I'm trying to initially set a stage for it

12:52

to culminate quickly. Now

12:54

it's I'm just instigating things to keep

12:56

an energy there. I

12:59

think you do and you do a good

13:01

job of that to keep an energy there

13:04

and stay fun. It doesn't have to

13:06

be a flirt, doesn't have to be about

13:08

a sexual act or

13:10

to leave there immediately. One

13:15

of the things that you said the other night, I don't remember what

13:17

I was talking about. I was talking about

13:20

needing to practice something and

13:25

you just chimed in real quick with, oh, you

13:28

can practice on me. I mean,

13:30

just a simple phrase like that. Right.

13:33

I'll be there. You can practice on

13:35

me. And that to me, that was

13:38

a little fun flirt. I'm

13:43

here for you anytime. One of the foundations of

13:45

flirting the way I think of this and is

13:48

it's an expression of interest.

13:51

That's it. It's a letting it

13:53

be known. It's a, hey, I see

13:55

you. Hey, I see that. And this is where it gets

13:57

so interesting. Like we'll be talking about in the extension. content.

14:00

Sometimes what I see and

14:03

express goes straight

14:05

into something you're not secure

14:07

about, comfortable with, love

14:10

about yourself because

14:12

there's an element of body image that can be coming

14:14

into play. There's an element of fear

14:17

that comes into play and that's where

14:19

flirting becomes such a weird dynamic in

14:21

some marriages. Meaning it might

14:23

not land well. Right, that's the idea of

14:25

she's like rolling her eyes. With a different

14:28

person it might land and with this person

14:30

it doesn't. Which is what makes flirting such

14:32

an alluring and weird kind of thing because

14:34

it'll work with some people and then you're

14:37

like why does this not work at home?

14:39

Fair. Right and I don't necessarily mean you're

14:41

out flirting with all kinds of people but your

14:43

playful side isn't received as playful at home. Your

14:46

humor isn't received as humor at home. So

14:48

there's a lot of similarities here on the

14:52

different aspects of ourselves. And so

14:54

I think it's just at face

14:57

value flirting is just simply

14:59

I'm expressing a playful romantic

15:02

sexual interest. Dr.

15:04

Glover talks about this as a blurting. If

15:07

it's on your mind you let it out there. You

15:10

just say it and you probably need to we need to figure

15:12

out how to massage it. Yeah because

15:14

I wouldn't want that to be a general rule

15:16

but yeah. No but a lot of times because

15:18

this is also what's so interesting that we'll be

15:21

unpacking a little bit more in the extended content

15:23

today too is if you

15:26

have enough 30 years with me actually

15:28

35 and a half years

15:31

of dating and marriage with me

15:33

you have a pretty accurate map of

15:36

lots of aspects of my life. Yeah.

15:38

Kind of what makes me tick what's what we talked

15:41

about last week where I was realizing wait I answered

15:43

yes on all these things. I don't know

15:45

if that's always a good thing or not

15:47

but so if your

15:50

map is already of me that

15:52

way and

15:54

something happens and you're paying attention

15:56

you probably already know oh he's

15:58

thought this or gone. Oh, here we

16:00

go. Oh, you know, and sometimes

16:02

that could be, you're inviting it and you're hoping for it,

16:05

or sometimes it's like you're on guard for it, but

16:08

it's not like you don't know. Okay. And

16:10

so the idea of

16:13

blurring comes into

16:15

play when their map

16:17

already knows you're interested, the

16:19

dynamic between you already knows you're the

16:21

higher desire. So

16:23

play the part better. Yeah.

16:26

Don't hide that fact. Yeah. Don't hide it. Be

16:28

afraid of it. Right. Don't like, Oh no. I

16:30

wasn't thinking that at all. When they're reading, you're

16:32

going, yes, you were. Yeah, you were. Right. At

16:34

least it flashed through your mind. Right.

16:37

And so owning it because part of

16:39

a principle of flirting is it has

16:41

to be congruent with who you are

16:43

to really lay in well, because

16:46

there have been times I cannot remember some

16:49

of the things I attempted because one of

16:51

the ideas I came across, this is a

16:53

resource that I read a long time ago.

16:55

There's some good information in there. Okay. Take

16:58

it, take this with a grain of salt,

17:00

but it's called Ian Ironwood's Alpha

17:03

Moves. Okay. That's what it's

17:05

called. And that's a pseudonym that the guy

17:07

writes under, but he goes through

17:09

the whole principle of being

17:12

a good alpha as a man in

17:15

your sexual dynamic. And

17:17

that just means bringing that presence differently

17:20

with your masculinity. And so he

17:22

frames this really well in

17:25

the sense of being real present.

17:27

And so some of the different things he

17:29

talked about, I tried and

17:31

you're like, no, swing

17:34

and a miss because it was a little bit outside

17:37

of my character. Okay. It

17:39

was a little bit like I was, it was fake.

17:41

You could kind of tell. Yeah. I'm not even remembering

17:43

that. I wish you had specific

17:45

examples for that. I don't remember a specific thing where

17:47

I said something, but it was like, it

17:49

just didn't land. And you're like, who's that?

17:51

Who are you? Right. And that's, that's where we jokingly

17:53

would say, if you try something

17:55

out and it goes poorly and somebody goes, where'd you

17:58

learn that from? Give it, throw us under the. of

18:00

us at sexy marriage, we're all on that. Like,

18:02

well, I just figured I'd try it

18:05

out. Okay. But that's good information to

18:07

realize it didn't land right. And so the

18:10

principle then just really comes down to

18:12

how am I being congruent with me? How

18:16

are you being congruent with you? And

18:18

even if you don't see yourself as gregarious

18:21

and funny and playful,

18:23

there's still aspects of you

18:26

that make you alluring and enticing

18:28

and inviting.

18:30

Whatever it is that makes you you, that's

18:32

what you use to flirt. Yeah. That's kind

18:34

of how you start it is you just

18:37

magnify part of who you are. Okay.

18:39

Right. Because I think you've even said, I want

18:43

to make everything in

18:45

my life as fun as possible. Right.

18:49

So make things fun. Yeah. Even things that we

18:51

would normally think of as boring. How do I

18:53

make it fun? Yeah. You

18:55

definitely bring that to the table and that,

18:57

and that flows over into the other intimate

19:00

sides of our life. I think one of the

19:02

principles of flirting is playfulness. You're,

19:05

you're, you're, there's a playful banter. There's a

19:07

playful tease. There's a, there's

19:09

a dynamic and this is where you've changed

19:12

and the banter that comes back and then

19:14

it's even instigated, this is where you've evolved.

19:16

Good. Well, I want to go back to

19:18

the playful tease because I think it

19:20

would be easy on a playful

19:22

tease to maybe bring something that

19:24

might be, uh, condescending

19:28

into it. Yes. And

19:30

that will be a flirt that won't land at

19:32

all. Well, nothing, it's, it's always

19:34

got to be something that. Right. And

19:37

that's, that's probably where you have to figure out where's

19:39

that line. Yeah. Where's that you've

19:41

gotten close to the edge, but you haven't

19:43

crossed it. And that's

19:45

just being a good student of each other. Right.

19:47

We all know our weak spots of our spouses.

19:49

If we've paid attention at all. We all know

19:52

there are some of their insecurities if we've paid

19:54

attention at all. Yeah. So

19:56

other aspects of flirting? Um,

19:58

well, the easiest one. is

20:01

complimenting. So

20:03

a compliment is considered a

20:05

flirt? Absolutely because you're

20:07

showing appreciation, you're showing interest,

20:11

you're showing intrigue and that's not and

20:13

again here's the difference to me it's

20:16

not complimenting a role they've played as

20:18

much as it is complimenting them as

20:21

a person. Gotcha.

20:23

Saying I see you. I love the

20:25

scene from Avatar the first one towards

20:28

the end where the Navi would say I see you

20:31

and that's not just bodily. Right. That's

20:33

I see eye to

20:35

eye. I see who you are. I

20:39

see the effort you made just made tonight

20:41

in whatever just happened. Or I see what

20:43

makes you you and that's the

20:46

part I really do love. That's who

20:49

I really want to have this banter and

20:51

playful erotic thing with. That's

20:53

a component of I think

20:56

that's important to realize just being complimentary,

20:58

just being appreciative of each other. Yeah.

21:01

That sets a different stage in

21:04

the house because most couples if you fall into

21:06

a the conundrum

21:08

of the monotonous if

21:10

you will in marriage particularly as lovers one

21:13

of the easiest ways to bring a different energy in

21:15

there is gratitude, thankfulness,

21:18

appreciation of each other.

21:20

Okay. I never would have called that

21:22

a flirt. I don't know if I would say that

21:24

maybe that's a it's a foreplay

21:26

to flirt. Okay.

21:28

That kind of terminology. It's setting

21:30

a stage. Yes. But and

21:33

then the others is body

21:35

language, eye contact, physical

21:38

cues. Eye contact I think can be a

21:41

big flirt. You're across the room from each other

21:43

and just catching the eyes and I mean you

21:45

know you've got certain looks you give each other.

21:48

And then gentle touches to

21:50

brush by. I think

21:53

just the walk by when I wouldn't normally walk

21:55

by and give you a kiss. I'm just going

21:57

through the kitchen or I'm going through the living

21:59

room. room and I come and you

22:02

know you grab the small of the neck and

22:04

just plan a big one and then just keep walking off

22:06

to the back of the house. You know

22:09

just some simple things. You're saying when I do that's a good

22:11

thing? Right, that's a good thing. No, hold on. That's

22:13

a good thing. It's not that I'm going

22:15

to try and walk you back there. I'm

22:18

just going to show you I

22:20

love having this kiss with you and I'm going to

22:22

keep walking after that. So

22:24

some simple, simple touches like

22:26

that that then you just keep rolling and you

22:28

don't have to say a word. No,

22:31

and the other thing that I'm

22:33

going to boost you up here on you're saying I'm

22:35

not good at this. Okay, thank you. One

22:38

of the things that you do that

22:40

is good that I think is absolutely

22:43

a flirt is you walk by and

22:45

you grab a muscular area of me,

22:47

an arm, a shoulder, something and you're

22:49

like ooh and then you just keep on going. Yeah,

22:52

yeah. Right, I think that's an element

22:54

of I see you. I see the

22:56

work you do. I see the value. There's an

22:58

element. I'm interested in that. And

23:01

you know it hits ladies when you grab his

23:04

bicep or his thigh and he flexes

23:06

it while you're holding it. Just

23:09

got to make sure you notice how much work was in. That's

23:13

a flirt back right there. That's both of you in

23:15

tandem doing it together. And then the last thing is

23:17

just genuine interest in

23:19

the person because you can learn how to flirt with the person

23:21

if you're paying attention to what really speaks to them. Most

23:24

people will tell you what speaks

23:26

to them. And then

23:29

it comes into how do you get to

23:31

the point where you can use humor, you

23:34

can use double entendres which that's one of

23:36

the easiest ways to start to bring in

23:38

a flirt. It's

23:40

suggestive and it's about a environment

23:43

between you. It's not specifically

23:46

aimed at them. That's

23:49

an easy way. There are

23:51

compliments inside jokes. These

23:54

are some of the how to's. That's the eye

23:56

looks at each other. You just know each other.

24:00

And so there's this, I mean,

24:03

we did some Googling and found some

24:05

examples. So playful teasing, you know,

24:08

you say, I'm so tired today. And then,

24:10

well, that must be from stealing all the

24:12

covers last night, huh? Right. You

24:15

know, just some, there's just a dynamic there of

24:20

what was another one. I have so

24:22

much work to do. Well, maybe I

24:24

can be your motivational dance partner during

24:26

your breaks. What do you think? And

24:30

it's just kind of, I'm injecting myself

24:32

into your world. You're interjecting yourself into

24:34

my world. That's flirting. Yeah.

24:37

It's stealing things away. One

24:40

of the things that helps me the most is using

24:42

the three examples

24:44

of, there's three categories to focus

24:46

on. I want to instigate,

24:49

escalate, and isolate. And those aren't in

24:51

a particular order. Okay. Right.

24:54

I want to instigate things, which that's

24:56

the touch, that's the kiss. That's a

24:58

erotic conversation or statement. I'm instigating things.

25:01

I want to escalate things. That's

25:03

the idea of, if you come in for a kiss,

25:05

I want to make it last about two seconds longer.

25:07

Okay. Escalate a little bit more, or a hand,

25:10

I pull you in closer. That's escalating. It

25:12

doesn't have to culminate right then, but it's

25:14

a way to use the energy. And then

25:16

isolate. That's just pull you out of

25:18

your world for a second. Yeah. This

25:21

is where I got in the most leverage with you

25:23

is, hey, I'd like, I need to see

25:25

you back here. I'm

25:27

back. What do you need? And

25:29

I give you a big kiss. That was it. And then

25:32

I just move on. Yeah. Or I show up at

25:34

your office during tax season with a happy

25:36

hour drink from Sonic. Yeah. That's

25:38

an isolate. I want to just steal a moment and

25:40

then I move on. Yeah. Those

25:42

are some of the simple things that

25:45

you can start to recognize. And

25:47

then as far as resources he

25:49

was asking for, the one

25:51

that I come across, I think that looks the

25:53

most intriguing is the art of seduction. I have

25:55

not read this. Yeah,

25:58

me neither. Just a quick little search. And

26:00

that was one of the things. And then

26:03

consider groups, mastermind groups are ways

26:05

you can put, because if this is

26:07

all built on confidence, solidifying

26:12

self in a mastermind group, which starts

26:14

again in January, is

26:16

one of the best ways to actually become a better flirt. Because

26:21

if you got some swagger to you, it lands

26:24

differently. I would agree with that. When

26:26

you let your wife understand this isn't

26:28

attached to a media outcome. This is

26:30

just, I'm being expressive and being who

26:32

I am. And

26:35

also, we're going to create an area on

26:37

the platform of how do you flirt. And

26:40

we're all ears. What's

26:42

your best advice, ladies and gentlemen, out

26:44

there on what works

26:46

in your marriage? Because if it works in your

26:49

marriage, we can probably tweak it and refine it

26:51

slightly to make it work in mine. So

26:54

my.smr.fm is where you can join

26:56

the conversation. Before we jump into

26:58

the extended content, here's the scene. Okay.

27:00

I'm ready. This is from the email that

27:02

we're going to be covering. There in the bathroom,

27:04

she's coming out of the shower. She's dressed. She's

27:07

getting dressed at various stages of undressed. He's

27:09

on his phone, taking a

27:12

screenshot of information he needed

27:14

from his phone. She hears it,

27:16

thinks it's a picture of her,

27:18

and is incredibly hurt and

27:21

accusatory of him. We

27:25

can all kind of see that as a possibility.

27:27

Misunderstanding here of what's happening

27:29

with the phone, right? Yeah.

27:32

But also an exposure of some

27:36

other things that are deeper in

27:38

both of them. Okay. So

27:40

what are those things? That's

27:42

what we're going to be covering in the extended content.

27:44

And if you're just now catching up with what we've

27:47

got going on here since we switched back to Sexy

27:49

Marriage Radio, and you're not a member of the extended

27:51

content, for the month of December, at the end of

27:53

here, 2023, if you use the code BACK2SMR,

27:56

so that's back in

27:59

the... letters the spell to

28:01

SMR, use

28:03

that at checkout on the extended

28:06

Academy or masterclass level of joining on

28:09

any of the monthly levels, you get the

28:12

first month free. So you

28:14

can listen to what we're talking about

28:16

today with the extended content for free. If you

28:18

join using back to SMR and cancel at any

28:20

time so you can get it for a month,

28:22

hear what we got going on with L extended

28:24

and then cancel before you ever get charged. But

28:27

you're not going to want to cancel. Absolutely not

28:29

because you're going to want to hear the answer

28:31

right when we jump into the extended content. It's

28:34

interesting to me, Pam, that we

28:37

switched to back to sex emerge radio two

28:39

weeks ago. That

28:42

whole change was kind of an interesting coding,

28:46

technological issue, which always happens when

28:48

you change URLs and all

28:50

that comes along with it and, and

28:53

then change the category with, with Apple

28:55

podcasts and all the different places. So

28:57

it just takes a while for everything

28:59

to adjust. But one

29:01

of the things that's interesting too is feedback

29:04

at sexy marriage radio dot com. Since

29:06

we announced the change, there's

29:08

an influx of emails coming in, which

29:11

is kind of what helps set the stage today.

29:13

Kind of the confirmation of the change. Getting

29:16

back to the provocative

29:19

edgy. This is what we're

29:21

really focusing on because this is what all

29:24

of us have struggles with at various stages, if

29:26

not all the time, ourselves

29:29

included. Because

29:31

again, even just doing the show

29:33

with you regularly helps me refine the

29:36

process of how we do this

29:38

in our lives. Yeah. I

29:40

wish everybody out here listening could be

29:42

doing this together. Cause

29:45

start their own podcast together on sex. Right.

29:48

Well, I mean, for from

29:50

the experience that you and I have had

29:52

and the conversations, this opens,

29:55

it's just confirmation to me

29:57

that if you're

29:59

two grownup people. that can talk through things, it

30:03

just makes life better. You

30:06

can tackle the things that life entails

30:08

a whole lot better. Yeah, I am

30:10

not afraid to work

30:12

on myself or

30:14

to face the struggle that might

30:16

come from it knowing

30:19

where we are. Knowing

30:21

that you're going

30:23

to have grace if I'm trying to work on something and

30:25

I'm going to have it for you just

30:28

because we can

30:30

see what's happening here because we're starting

30:32

the conversations and I want that for

30:34

everybody out there to be

30:37

able to have conversations with your spouses that

30:39

you can both grow and be stronger. I

30:42

think for me what helped get to

30:44

that point is recognizing the capability of

30:46

each of us to do so. On

30:49

our own two feet. I don't need

30:51

you to be a better person, but it

30:53

sure is fun doing it with you. Absolutely.

30:57

Well, if you like the show, please

30:59

help us out and jump on Apple

31:01

Podcasts, Spotify and specifically right now since

31:03

we just changed, if you would jump

31:06

on Apple Podcasts and leave

31:08

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31:10

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31:12

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31:15

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31:17

of comments and reviews and ratings helps

31:19

us climb the charts quickly. So that's

31:21

going to help reestablish us back into

31:23

the sexuality category because there's

31:25

just a lot of anything goes in that category still

31:27

and we want to be a lot

31:30

more easy to find so

31:32

that couples can find good value based, straightforward,

31:34

honest help in their married sex lives as

31:37

well. So your comment helps spread the word.

31:40

Transcripts of each of the shows are available at smr.fm.

31:43

Just go to each of those pages and

31:45

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consider supporting those who help support the show.

31:52

Well, it's been fun again, Pam. So

31:55

for those of you in the nation that have

31:57

come along with us, jump on my.smr.fm. dot

32:00

f m and let's continue

32:03

let's flirt there appropriately so

32:05

of course I'm only flirting with you I'm

32:07

saying I appreciate that well thanks for listening

32:10

we'll see you next time.