Chris and Alice are in New York, and didn't have time to read the news, so this is a very short little episode/non-episode to check in with you all and say hello before shouting 'I'm walking here!' in your face.See you next week!

Can I Touch Your Butt?

Apr 26th, 2021 53m 6s

Chris explains football while Alice listens patiently, before she explains the life of the poet too scandalous for Paris.Plus: Martian Helicopters, drunk men abduct Big Bird, and Milkshake Sex!Join Chris’ Zoom Gig list here: http://bit.ly/Zoo

Move Bitche, get out the way!

Apr 19th, 2021 1h 2m

Facebook gets tangled up in a very French misunderstanding, Alice lusts after caterpillar-shaped cake, and Chris complains about tea, real estate agents, and tea again. Plus, rabbit theft, very white paint, and Brad Pitt kissing a child. Join

Phil the Greek Memorial-rama

Apr 12th, 2021 1h 3m

Chris and Alice commemorate Prince Philip, talk about the time that Chris (kind of) met him, and are joined by special guest Clara, who wants to know if she should do heroin. Plus Khloe Kardashian, Demi Lovato, and Schindler’s List all get a t

These are Bloody Shoes

Apr 5th, 2021 1h 2m

Alice explains why Lil Nas X isn’t the first artist to make Satan sexy, Chris learns about ‘The Tooth Mouse’, and we discuss why Matt Gaetz might be interested in taking a trip to the UK.Along the way, we discuss The Emu War, the correct plura

Boaty McBlockface

Mar 29th, 2021 1h 13m

Chris whips out his definitely not offensive Russian accent, Alice waxes lyrical about dead old white men, and Bredlick poetry makes a long-awaited return to the show. Also, what a Southwest pilot thinks of Bay Area Liberals, why you shouldn’t

Hi, I’m Salmon

Mar 21st, 2021 1h 4m

This week, learn how to get free sushi, how to ignore a stab wound, and the worst thing about having one arm. Chris talks about cat fishing guys on tinder, Alice explains how she invented communism, and there’s plenty of discussion about tiny t

Mozart? He's Lit as F**k!

Mar 15th, 2021 1h 21m

Chris un-patriotically deals with the fallout from Meghan and Harry’s Oprah interview, Alice talks about playing Classical music at a silent disco, and we learn about a legendary game of mutual decapitation.Plus, gold-digging science teachers,

The Pope goes on Holiday

Mar 8th, 2021 1h 6m

Alice’s elderly crush visits a war zone, Chris tells us about the consequences of eating raw meat, and the Chinese government continue to probe foreigners’ anuses. We also hear the songs that Dolly Parton and the Dalai Lama sang while being vac

I Named my Pet Wolf after Him

Mar 1st, 2021 1h 10m

Mr Potato Head gets cancelled, Alice and Chris sing the best song ever written, the Pope gets squished by a meteor, and Rudyard Kipling's jingoistic poetry gets a thorough going over.Plus, Chinese anal swabs, how to stop a genocide, and gold s

Truck Full of Bees

Feb 22nd, 2021 1h 11m

Chris and Alice cover a lot of ground, from altruistic street harassment to religious orgasms, the French beefing about french beef, and the time that Alice got abducted. Along the way they touch on death in the desert, apologise for spreading

The Civil War Nightclub

Feb 15th, 2021 1h 19m

It’s a Valentine’s Day special, and Chris Turner & Alice Winn stage a Titanic struggle over which movie to watch, discuss mysterious critters, phantom bone spurs, and The Lost Cause. Alice teaches us about the STD that makes you lose your nose,

Edgar Allan Poe: Massive Bellend

Feb 7th, 2021 59m 37s

Alice teaches us all about the Opium Wars, Chris recites some Bredlick Poetry, and we all learn about A TINY FRICKIN' LIZARD!A big ol' coup, inappropriate AI, and 'young fresh meats' round out the week's news.

If you like Casablanca, Alice will fight you...

Feb 1st, 2021 42m 20s

Alice gets Gamestop, China's threat of war, and Marjorie Taylor Greene explained to her, and in return teaches Chris about Tuberculosis, Dante's Inferno, and the very pervy Lord Byron.Featuring the best way to kill someone, a 'dick move' from

History's Hottest 12 Year Old

Jan 25th, 2021 40m 30s

A momentous week deserves a momentous podcast, and in their launch episode, Chris Turner and Alice Winn discuss the important stories of the past seven days, including Biden's inauguration, Winston Churchill's face, Jojo Siwa coming out, and Eg

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