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3.06 | Point of View | A Tom of a Reasonable Age

May 20th, 2020 1h 7m

This episode was recorded at Christmas, when things were brighter and less terrifying. In this episode, Abbey and I discuss invisible rabbis, wigs in general, how everyone in Superman's world is an idiot, and how Karli is, unsurprisingly, again

3.05 | Learning Curve | Crayola Big Box

Apr 17th, 2020 1h 10m

In this episode, we discuss The Giver, "Thor", and orc-eology. We also sometimes discuss "Stargate".

3.04 | Legacy | Full Scooby Doo

Dec 15th, 2019 1h 7m

In this episode, Abbey and Karli go on a full-on rant where we mention Bill Nye, Karli's brief foray into the film industry, the one good season of "Teen Wolf" and if Colin Morgan is doing okay. We also complain about this episode.

3.03 | Fair Game | The Subdued Episode

Nov 18th, 2019 1h 4m

In this very quiet, awkward episode where other people are in the other room and we are interrupted by babies, dogs, and kittens, Abbey and Karli discuss nail polish bravery, Thor's safeword, and the fact that Abbey played Kili in a Hobbit musi

3.02 | Seth | Doctors All the Way Down

Oct 13th, 2019 1h 11m

In the new kalimba-powered episodes, we talk about Dorothy the Tok'ra, Abbey's safeword, Karli's hot take on Stephen King, and being alone in an amusement park! We also talk about Stargate.

2.21/3.01 | Out of Mind/Into the Fire | Ding Ding We're Ready for Dinner

Sep 23rd, 2019 1h 17m

In this episode we talk about Thor: Ragnorok (again), Karli's broken wrist, our favorite blank wall Tabitha, and measuring time by Taylor Swift albums. We also talk about this episode.

2.20 | 1969 | The 60s Were a Time

Sep 8th, 2019 1h 6m

In this episode, we discuss prime Judy Blume time, being genetically Quaker, and owning late stage capitalism. We also discuss Stargate SG-1.

2.19 | Show and Tell | Joe Retu

Aug 18th, 2019 56m 47s

In this episode Abbey and Karli are finally back (and not very funny) to talk about the varying levels of 'oh fuck', some Thanos shit, and bringing it back to Twilight.

2.18 | One False Step| A Whole Mood

Jun 9th, 2019 1h 3m

Don't you just wanna scream in a group? Don't you just wanna collapse to the floor? Why do people take their shoes off in airplanes? Do all Australians sound the same? These and other important questions answered in this episode where we don't

2.17 | Serpent's Song | The Worst Trojan Horse

May 26th, 2019 59m 43s

In this episode we discuss My Dad Wrote a Porno, Big Brother, self-sabotaging and things we had to unlearn. We also ocassionally discuss the episode.

2.16 | Holiday | Awkwardness is Awkward

May 18th, 2019 1h 1m

In this week's episode, Abbey and Karli discuss fast food stories, apartments with doormen, being haunted by Hannah Montana and fizzy drinks. We also discuss this episode.

2.15 | A Matter of Time | Slut for Time Travel

May 12th, 2019 1h 4m

In this episode, we discuss spaghettification, John Mulaney quotes, the fact that Abbey doesn't know what a tank looks like and read our first piece of fanmail! We also occasionally discuss "Stargate".

2.14 | The Fifth Race | We're All Monster-F*ckers Here

May 5th, 2019 1h 5m

In this episode, Abbey and Karli discuss Good Will Hunting-ing your friends, what hippies sound like, and literally fighting Satan. We also occasionally discuss this episode.

2.13 | Touchstone | The MALP's Soft Underbelly

Apr 27th, 2019 56m 5s

In this episode, Abbey and I discuss the Writer's Strike, Abbey's Minnesota accent, and how we remember "The Sound of Music" differently. We also discuss this episode.

2.12 | Spirits | Is this racist?

Apr 20th, 2019 1h 1m

In this episode, Abbey and Karli discuss if we think this episode is racist, hating Orson Scott Card, a Thousand Moms Against Heretics, and #NotAllJaffa. We also discuss this episode.

2.11 | Tokra Part 1 and 2 | Martouf's Distracting Teeth

Apr 14th, 2019 1h 19m

In this episode we discuss hurdy-gurdys, how Glee was Abbey's life, space racism, and what the Queen would think. We also occasionally, discuss "Stargate"

2.10 | Bane | Hot Dog Water

Apr 6th, 2019 57m 12s

In this episode, Karli gives a TEDTalk about biopics she would like to see, we discuss Chuck E. Cheese birthdays, "the youth", and how important noses are. We also occasionally talk about Stargate.

2.09 | Secrets | Everything's Coming Up Ranch

Mar 30th, 2019 1h 6m

We're back! And in this episode we discuss being gay at art shows, "what are frogs?", and liking it when you call us Big Papa. We also discuss "Stargate".This episode was recorded all the way back in July 2018. We're sorry.

2.08 | Family | Apophis's Fireside Chats

Dec 1st, 2018 1h 1m

I lied--apparently we had a few crappy audio podcasts left. Sorry. In this episode we discuss good morning texts from Bra'tac, no secret rooms, Monopoly, and Abbey's low voice. We also discuss "Stargate".

2.07 | Message in a Bottle | Casually Impaled

Nov 18th, 2018 1h 7m

In this episode, Abbey & Karli discuss Abbey's recurring dreams, big pharma, the flawed logic of the climax of Jurassic Park: The Lost World, and welcoming death. We also talk about Stargate on occasion.

2.06 | Thor's Chariot | Get Out Your Whip, Folks

Oct 28th, 2018 50m 56s

In this episode (alternatively titled "Two Girls, One Archeaologist"), Abbey has taken a lot of Dayquil and it presents itself in a sleepy but giddy personality. We discuss Spartacus, Jaffa shofars, and how there's always time for mythology.

2.05 | Need | The Existensial Podcast

Oct 23rd, 2018 47m 16s

In this episode (which is the origin of our alternative cast!) we still have poor audio but we are way funnier than the last episode. Abbey and I discuss Sam's Spidey Sense, the fact that there are no metaphors in space, Jonathan Taylor Thomas

2.04 | Gamekeeper | Not Very Speaking

Oct 14th, 2018 58m 54s

In this episode, Abbey and Karli discuss Epcot, a museum Karli hasn't been to because it doesn't exist, being Cisco'd and Tom Holland doing flips or something. We also discuss this episode which was recorded prior to us being better at audio, s

2.03| Cream of Wheat | Prisoners

Sep 30th, 2018 1h 18m

In this episode, Karli and Abbey discuss cannibalism, Abbey's inability to whistle, Karli's deep hate of "In the Heart of the Sea", and the noodle dance. We also, occasionally, discuss "Stargate".