0:00

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett.

0:03

I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kurnai,

0:06

Wolpiri and Awadjuri woman. And

0:08

before we get started on She's on the Money podcast,

0:11

I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians

0:13

of the land of which this podcast is recorded,

0:16

on Awadjuri country, acknowledging

0:18

the elders, the ancestors, and

0:20

the next generation coming through. As

0:23

this podcast is about connecting, empowering,

0:26

knowledge sharing, and the storytelling of

0:28

you to make a difference for today and

0:31

lasting impact for tomorrow.

0:33

Let's get into it. She's

0:35

on the money. She's on the money.

0:57

Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the

1:00

podcast for millennials who want financial

1:02

freedom. Hello, Vicky D. Hello.

1:05

Why are we just... Sorry, I shouldn't have called you that. Why?

1:08

I mean, we'll move on. We'll move on.

1:10

I can't. We left that behind. We did. I wanted

1:12

to see if you'd respond. Yeah, I do. You

1:14

did very quickly. Negatively. Nothing

1:17

gets by you. No. All right. What am I going to call

1:19

you? Becky S. Becky S. Oh,

1:21

that rolls off the tongue. That's awful. That's

1:23

easy. So today we are talking

1:26

about the myth of making

1:27

it financially. I'm excited to talk about

1:29

this. Yes, I am. I'm very excited to talk about this

1:31

because I feel like people assume that once

1:34

you have a certain amount of money or

1:36

like you become rich, you've made it.

1:38

Yeah. No, sis. No. And we were

1:41

talking about this concept the other day where

1:43

we were talking about your work-life balance and you

1:45

were like, I just want to sit in the grass with my friends.

1:48

And I was like, we need more of this energy. We

1:50

need to be talking about like the lifestyle

1:53

that we have and the type of life that we

1:55

lead as opposed to the materialistic items

1:57

that

1:57

we have because they don't actually lead to an increase

1:59

in health. happiness. So now is the time to

2:01

have that conversation, my friend. Exactly.

2:04

I think we'll walk away from this episode feeling

2:06

very confident and happy within ourselves.

2:09

I hope empowered. Empowered to smash

2:11

life out, regardless of your financial circumstances.

2:14

Yes. We don't let money. What's

2:17

the word I'm looking for? Hold us back. Hold

2:19

us back and define us. Yeah, 100%. So

2:22

I guess like

2:23

my first question is, is the myth that

2:25

you can't ever really make it or is

2:27

it more that it won't necessarily

2:29

lead to happiness? Yeah. Okay. So

2:32

there's two edges of this sword,

2:34

I suppose. So like if you're not feeling

2:36

great about the way that you deal with money or

2:39

how much you know about the intricacies

2:41

of finance, you are absolutely not alone.

2:44

Obviously, She's On The Money exists to

2:46

empower you and our culture of

2:49

encouragement that She's On The Money has kind

2:51

of like fostered over the last few

2:53

years should be one where excessive

2:55

consumption is not that sexy. Financial

2:57

systems were designed to be complicated

2:59

because people need to make money and

3:01

therefore our job is from my

3:03

perspective to really break them down.

3:06

But I think that a lot of money myths exist. And

3:08

I think it's kind of both, right? Like there are people

3:11

who in this world are going to want to quote, make

3:13

it. And I think that that means a lot of different

3:15

things. I just think that there's this misconception

3:18

that making it means you become extremely

3:20

rich. And I just think that some of the richest

3:23

people in my entire life are not the ones

3:25

that have loads of money. So I think we need

3:27

to have that conversation. But then also

3:29

we know and we'll get to the research,

3:32

but we know that there is a cap on

3:34

happiness and there is a point

3:36

at which happiness doesn't increase

3:38

regardless of how much more money you have. I

3:41

think it's very naive of me if I said,

3:43

look, Beck, money can't buy happiness because

3:45

that's such a catchphrase that we hear. And

3:48

in reality, intrinsically, that's

3:50

true. But if our base needs aren't

3:52

being met, like we're

3:53

not able to put a roof over our head, we're stressed

3:55

about debt repayments, we are not able

3:57

to put food on the table. Why would we

3:59

be happy?

3:59

happy. Like that makes us feel like trash.

4:02

So I think that yes, money can actually

4:05

buy happiness because Beck, if I said,

4:07

look, how happy would you be if

4:09

I could guarantee that the income that you

4:12

earn each and every single year,

4:13

it's always going to put you in a position where you're AOK.

4:16

Like you're in a perfect position. Like you

4:18

are absolutely fine. You are never going to go

4:20

without. So we're not talking about

4:22

that side of things because I think that that would be incredibly

4:25

tone deaf to say something like, oh

4:27

my gosh, well, money can't buy happiness.

4:30

You're going to look at me and be like, well, actually, you know what?

4:32

I'd be really happy if I could pay my grocery

4:34

bill, Victoria. I'd be really happy

4:37

if I could afford the apartment that I need, Victoria.

4:40

So I think it's let's put that to the side

4:42

because there is a base financial

4:43

needs that's base. Honestly, I

4:46

think everybody should just have access to that. And we create

4:48

a lot of content on making sure you

4:50

have access to that. However, the conversation

4:52

today is about taking it to that

4:54

next step and that myth around does

4:57

money buy happiness? Or like, what's

4:59

this idea of making it

5:01

financially? At what point are we good enough

5:03

for ourselves? And I suppose this creeps

5:05

into the realm of we record money diaries

5:08

every single week. And we always ask our community

5:10

like, oh, on a scale of, you know, A

5:13

through F, like how would you rate yourself financially?

5:16

And a lot of people say, oh, I'm a B. And

5:18

you might listen to the story and be like, oh my lord,

5:20

like they're in A plus. What the heck? That's

5:23

you overlaying your personal

5:25

values onto what that is. Somebody

5:28

who might call themselves a B, you might

5:30

go, wow, they're like the most financially literate

5:32

people I've ever met, but they will

5:34

say something along the lines of yes, but to

5:37

take it to an A, I just really want to feel like

5:39

I've actually achieved those goals I'm setting. They

5:41

might have the clarity to be an A in your eyes,

5:44

but they just don't feel like they're there

5:46

yet because they want to prove it to themselves. As

5:48

I've said before on the podcast, sometimes I'm

5:50

like, oh my gosh, girl, no, you're absolutely

5:52

an A. But I'll never argue with you

5:54

over that because that's your own judgment of yourself.

5:57

And I can't overlay my values on that.

5:59

Sure. So I think. it's important to understand

6:01

whether you think you're an A or an F, this

6:04

myth of, I guess, financially making

6:06

it is going to mean different things to different people.

6:08

And that's what makes our world so beautiful. Like

6:11

how cool is it that your values are so

6:13

different to my values, but the

6:15

beauty of that friendship is that we both

6:17

respect one another? You go,

6:19

V, why have you got two cats? What the heck? Whereas

6:23

I might go, Bec, grass, it makes

6:25

me itch. I'm not going to lay in that. What are

6:27

you talking about? I think it's just about

6:29

really embracing that every single person

6:31

in this community is so different. But how

6:34

do we get clarity on what our goals are? But

6:36

then what does financially making it even mean?

6:39

Yeah. I guess if you're

6:40

constantly setting different goals and thinking like, oh,

6:42

once I make it here, then I'll be happy. Or once

6:44

I make it there, I'll be happy. But the goals are constantly

6:47

moving and we keep growing. And it's

6:50

just not the best thing to kind of aim for. It's like talking

6:52

to somebody, obviously, complete pivot, but

6:54

it's like talking to somebody about their diet. Yes.

6:57

Someone will be like, oh, once I lose

6:59

another five kilos, I'll be happy. And

7:02

then they lose five kilos and they actually

7:04

haven't addressed the underlying issue of the

7:06

lack of confidence and they lose that five kilos.

7:09

And you'll say, how do you

7:10

feel now? And they say, oh, do you know what? I've

7:13

got to this point. I just need another five kilos.

7:15

Not addressing the fact that it was self-love that

7:18

we were lacking. It's not about weight. So

7:20

I think it's really, really similar

7:22

in the financial realm because I think some

7:24

people will go, well, do you know what? Would

7:26

have made it back once I have ten thousand dollars

7:28

in my emergency fund. Guarantee,

7:31

the second you get to that, you'll go, oh, OK,

7:33

cool. But I've thought about all these other goals now

7:35

that I have this level of financial security.

7:37

Beck, I really want to buy a house or I really want to buy a new

7:40

car or

7:40

I really want to go on a holiday or there might be a million

7:42

other things floating around, but there's never this

7:45

idea that you've made it. I feel like we make

7:47

that up in our heads. Exactly. We

7:50

make it up in our heads and maybe it's motivating to

7:52

be like, I will have made it. And then you kind

7:54

of work harder to get to that point. Yes, you

7:56

get there and you're like, oh, you just don't.

7:58

Sometimes you don't even realize that you've.

7:59

gotten there. Maybe it's a demotivational

8:02

podcast. We

8:04

want to demotivate you to financially

8:07

making it, to be okay with who you are

8:09

in this moment. That's kind of wholesome. We want you to

8:11

stay right where you are. We reverse

8:13

engineering it and just changing your mindset. Yeah,

8:16

exactly, exactly. But V, I suppose

8:18

it's a question too of what does making

8:20

it actually mean to you? And I know this is subjective,

8:23

so V, I'm sure you can remember our episode, How Much

8:25

Is a Lot of Money, from Jan 25, I think it was. Yeah,

8:28

yeah, yeah. It's literally halfway through the

8:30

year now. You've been on the podcast nearly

8:33

six months. Does that feel

8:35

weird? It does feel weird. Let's have a Barbie

8:37

party. Yeah. You

8:39

know what? I think we should have a Barbie party. All right, done.

8:42

Can we whip that up real quick? Yeah, real quick. See

8:44

it on socials later. Great. So,

8:48

for some people in our community,

8:50

it was, you know, never having to check

8:52

your bank account before you go shopping. And for some,

8:54

it was never having to work again. It's

8:56

all subjective. But I guess... I

8:58

loved that conversation,

8:59

actually. I really liked that. I really liked it. I

9:02

liked that some people were replying a dollar

9:04

amount. Other people were replying a thing.

9:07

So, the responses on that, we asked

9:09

the community on an Instagram story and we said,

9:11

hey guys, like what to use a lot of money. We didn't give

9:13

a lot of context about what it was for or how

9:15

it worked. So, we got like, I guess, the most organic

9:17

responses. And some people commented $10,000. Some

9:21

people commented $50. Some

9:23

people commented $1 million. Other

9:25

people commented, oh,

9:27

a lot of money. If I had a lot of money, it

9:29

would mean that I could get the most expensive sushi

9:32

train plate without even thinking about it.

9:34

And then other people would say things like, oh my gosh,

9:36

yeah, as you said, I don't have to check the bank

9:39

before I tap my card. Like, that's what a lot

9:41

of money would mean. And I just think it's

9:43

so subjective to the circumstances that

9:45

you've grown up in. It's so subjective to the circumstances

9:48

that you're currently in that making

9:50

it

9:51

is exactly the same. It's so similar.

9:53

There's no question of what making

9:56

it means because to you, making it is

9:58

your definition of what success is. in life

10:00

would mean. And then, you know, how much money

10:02

is going to really depend on where you came from. Because, Beck,

10:04

your opinion was like, oh, V, like

10:07

when we talked about it, it was definitely

10:09

not a million dollars. Whereas I

10:11

think that was my response. I think I said, oh,

10:13

look, a lot of money. What's a lot of money? A

10:16

house is a lot of money. And on average

10:18

in capital cities, Melbourne and Sydney, it's about a million dollars

10:20

now. So I just thought that's a lot, like

10:23

that's a lot, a lot of money. But I could have

10:25

said a billion dollars. That's a lot, a lot

10:27

of money. It's all just where's

10:29

this coming

10:29

from? And usually it goes back to your values.

10:32

So I find it super interesting.

10:35

Yeah, absolutely. So I guess like let's talk about

10:37

this idea of financial freedom. Sexy. Again,

10:39

it's relative and not to diminish anyone's

10:41

situation here. But where does the average Australian

10:44

sit in a global context with what we

10:46

are able to afford? Oh, we're rich. We're

10:48

rich. We're rich. We are ballers.

10:51

Some of us. Yeah, but at the

10:54

same time, Beck, even if you're

10:56

struggling, you are so... Much better off

10:58

than a lot of other people in a

10:59

lot of other countries. Like, obviously, I

11:02

don't want you to go, oh, I have to check my privilege

11:04

when I'm stressed about debt repayment. That's not

11:06

the case at all. But I think it's about just

11:08

really going, wow, like we're a first

11:10

world nation. That is pretty cool that we

11:12

have the privilege of living in this society.

11:15

We have a society where if you're not

11:17

able to generate an income independently, we

11:19

have welfare. You're not going to be left high and

11:22

dry. It might not be the lifestyle that you want

11:24

for yourself. It might not be the ultimate end

11:26

game. But isn't it crazy

11:28

that our government will step

11:31

in and make sure that you can in a way put

11:33

food on the table? I mean, there's always

11:35

going to be shortfalls. There's always going to be issues like

11:37

this is not a conversation about the welfare

11:40

system and what it does or doesn't

11:42

do. It's just in comparison

11:44

to the rest of the world. We

11:46

are so flipping lucky.

11:49

So basically, if, Beck, you

11:51

have a roof over your head, you have three meals

11:53

a day, you have access to running water and

11:56

you make more than forty thousand dollars

11:57

a year,

11:59

you're actually in. the top 1%

12:02

of the world's highest income

12:04

earners. Really? Yes. Top 1%.

12:07

Like when they talk about the 1%, who would

12:09

have thought that's basically all of us? Yeah,

12:11

that's going straight. We are the 1%. That's

12:14

going in my Instagram bio. Top 1%, maybe.

12:16

Exactly. And the stats say,

12:19

get this, the worldwide median,

12:21

so the average annual household

12:23

income, do you want to guess? Do you reckon, do

12:26

you want to guess? Well, I'm kind of scared. Annual each

12:28

year. Is it going to make me sad?

12:29

I mean, I don't think so

12:32

because obviously the world is made up of lots

12:34

of different like average incomes. We know

12:36

that the average income in Australia is going to be very

12:38

different to the average income in a very third

12:41

world country. And you might say, oh

12:43

wow, like, you know, I don't know if the

12:45

right terminology here is there, but like

12:47

when you say, what's the world's average income? I kind

12:50

of like take into consideration the average

12:52

income of an Australian, because we know that that's about 60

12:54

to $70,000 on average. But then you also, I don't know, my

12:58

head goes to like world vision and they say

13:00

for a dollar a day, you can do all these

13:02

things for somebody and I go, okay, well that's $365. So like, where's

13:04

the median? Does that make sense?

13:08

Because you kind of go, all right, well, you know,

13:10

and obviously there are people in this world that live on

13:13

weight less than that. But what

13:15

does that mean? What do you think the average median

13:17

household income is?

13:19

I'm going to say 50,000 a year. 50,000 flat.

13:25

No, no. Do you know what's wild? It is 9,733 is

13:28

the world's average household income. Household.

13:35

Not individual household.

13:37

Wow, wow, wow. Okay. So

13:39

we're pretty lucky. Yeah. Okay. I can

13:42

see I'm getting some perspective now. Very

13:46

humbled. Absolutely. Okay. That

13:48

is

13:49

outrageous that I do actually feel very humbled

13:51

right now. So this actually

13:54

makes me think about how we compare ourselves

13:56

to other people a lot and even

13:59

just like try.

13:59

to guess what that was, I was kind of scared because I thought,

14:02

if this is higher than how much I'm making

14:05

or how much I've historically made, I'm going to

14:07

be very sad. Why do we

14:09

do that? What is it about comparison

14:11

culture? I think your response is actually

14:13

a really beautiful example, right?

14:16

So the example is that

14:18

we often, even when asked to look

14:21

at something on a global perspective, which we

14:23

did, you don't actually have

14:25

the ability to step into

14:28

the shoes of people that you don't surround yourself

14:30

with. So your number,

14:32

I can almost guarantee when you

14:34

said $50,000 actually came from the average of

14:38

the people that surround you. So your

14:40

friends, your family, like the people

14:42

that are surrounding you, right? And that

14:44

makes sense because we are

14:46

so likely to compare ourselves to

14:49

our friends and our family and the people that we want to be like

14:51

the most. And that is so fine to

14:53

do, but that is why your type

14:56

of comparison culture is always going to be

14:58

like, oh, my friend Liv has X, Y and Z. I

15:00

want X, Y and Z. Whereas if

15:02

we went up a different salary

15:04

band, those things that those people want

15:06

are very different. It's kind of like if we shot all

15:08

the way up to billionaire status, like

15:11

billionaires compare themselves to other billionaires.

15:14

And they're like,

15:16

oh, bloody Sophia. Did you see her wedding?

15:19

Oh my God. Well, her wedding was X, Y

15:21

and Z. We all have to do a better one. It's

15:24

one of those things where we actually compare

15:26

ourselves to our own social circle.

15:29

And this idea of keeping up with the Joneses actually

15:31

has levels. And that's where this idea of

15:33

keeping up with the Joneses comes from. The Joneses,

15:36

they're our average next door neighbor. So

15:38

your average next door neighbor and you're just trying

15:40

to keep up with them. You're not trying to keep up with

15:42

somebody in a completely different salary bracket

15:44

to you. You're not trying to keep up with someone

15:46

who is in a completely lower salary bracket

15:49

to you. You're actually just trying to keep up with where

15:51

you think that you align. And that is

15:53

fine to do. But by doing that, you're

15:56

absorbing all of their values. You're absorbing all

15:58

of their goals and wishes and hopes.

15:59

the future and I find it really interesting and this

16:02

brings me back to another point that we've mentioned on the podcast

16:04

before and that's there

16:06

was research done in the US that said

16:09

the people most likely to go broke

16:11

were the neighbors of small time

16:13

lottery winners. So it

16:15

wasn't people who won a million dollars,

16:18

two million dollars because to be honest

16:20

usually that bumps you up a salary bracket and you

16:22

might sell your house and move to a different one but

16:25

you compare yourself to people who are similar

16:27

to you and you're more likely to go broke

16:29

because the Joneses, those guys next door,

16:32

you send their boat, I've always wanted

16:34

a boat, maybe you know maybe my husband and

16:36

I should consider that, we don't have the money for it, maybe

16:38

we'll get a loan, we'll get a boat, yeah that's

16:40

a good lifestyle, kind of like that

16:43

where you're comparing yourself to like but you

16:45

don't understand their financial circumstances

16:48

and that actually robs you of true happiness

16:50

and actually creating fulfillment in

16:52

your own life because you get the boat right, the

16:54

Joneses next door, they've got a boat, they look

16:57

really happy, have you seen them in the driveway when they

16:59

clean their boat

16:59

after they come back from being out you

17:02

know doing donuts with the kids all afternoon?

17:04

Like have you seen them, have you seen how happy they are? I want

17:07

that happiness that I can see they're experiencing

17:09

and I'm pretty sure it comes from that materialistic

17:12

item that they have. I'm going to get one

17:14

of those because my family wants to experience that

17:16

too.

17:17

Isn't that lit? Then you get the boat,

17:20

you're like I hate being on the ocean, I have the

17:22

worst seasickness in the entire world. My

17:24

husband and I went out, yeah maintenance, absolutely

17:27

not. I actually don't want to spend an hour

17:29

after I get back in washing the boat,

17:32

absolutely not.

17:33

That's not going to create happiness for me. What

17:36

I could see is that they were really

17:38

happy in that moment and I was trying to channel that with

17:40

the materialistic item that I thought was tied

17:42

to their happiness and that's not the case at all. I

17:45

should have been working on maybe my family dynamics

17:47

or the way that I am grateful for

17:49

things, not at all the

17:52

materialistic items and I think that's why when we

17:54

get something we go that didn't solve

17:56

it, that didn't make me happier. What's

17:58

next? Maybe

17:59

we need to... a new car actually, Beck, have you

18:01

seen their car in their driveway? Do you know

18:03

what I mean? That must be the missing link.

18:06

It must be. It has to be the missing link.

18:08

Like, oh, you got a new car. Oh, Beck, your t-shirt

18:11

looks so nice. You look so happy today.

18:13

I think if I got that t-shirt, I'd

18:16

look just as cute. I'd be happier. I'm

18:18

going to go get that t-shirt. Then I put it on

18:20

and realized that that's not where your happiness was coming

18:22

from. So I think it's really important to

18:24

remember,

18:25

I guess, your values and your goals and

18:27

what you want to achieve and that the boat's not going to do

18:29

anything. It's just an example of you

18:32

seeing someone else and I think social media perpetuates

18:34

this. I see it all the time on TikTok.

18:37

Do you know why? Because I am the biggest

18:40

sucker for TikTok. I see some

18:42

girl with a new skincare routine and she looks

18:44

real cute and has that puffy headband that they

18:46

put on. I'd be an

18:48

influencer if I got a puffy headband. Do you not see

18:50

my bathroom right now? The damn puffy

18:52

headband. It's so ugly

18:55

on me.

18:55

What the heck? Did it do anything

18:58

to make my morning routine feel better? Absolutely

19:00

not. In fact, probably the opposite. Do I need

19:02

their new retinol that somebody on TikTok

19:04

is posting about? No. It's

19:06

so wild to think that I even

19:09

in this position where I would argue that

19:12

I'm acutely aware of what drives

19:14

goals and values and reasoning and

19:16

financial happiness, I still

19:18

get sucked into being like,

19:20

that's shiny. Magpie.

19:22

Like shiny, I need that. Shiny, I need

19:24

that. Is where I think it's really important

19:26

for me to be open about this circumstance because

19:29

that will then help you go. Even the experts

19:31

don't have it all figured out. I know semantically

19:34

what that means. I know pragmatically how that

19:36

works.

19:38

In reality though, my gosh, shiny things, 10

19:40

out of 10. 10 out of 10. You

19:43

can take the shiny thing away

19:45

from that and know what my analogy was going to be, but basically

19:48

understand what you're saying completely. We're just all different

19:50

and I think that we need to break down this, I

19:53

guess, hustle culture narrative that we seem

19:55

to all be so used to

19:57

and segue away from that into.

19:59

Why are we hustling? What are we hustling

20:02

for? What does making it

20:04

actually mean? Because how many times have we heard

20:06

stories about the dude who's making

20:08

it and we think he's a big dog and then his wife divorces

20:11

him because he's not present. Is that

20:13

what we want? Is that how it works? Like

20:15

where were your values? Because seemingly

20:17

it's only once his wife divorces

20:20

him that he realizes what he had and

20:22

what he's now missing out on. How do we be more

20:24

grateful for the things that we already have

20:27

so that that feels like enough? I'm

20:29

not sure if you know this. This is kind of out of left

20:32

field, but

20:33

there is an international day

20:35

of happiness. I did not know that.

20:38

Yeah. Isn't that so cute? What do you do? Do you

20:40

just like hold hands and sing Kumbaya? You

20:42

must be happy. It's illegal to not

20:45

be happy on this day. Yeah, on that day. Did you know

20:47

that we are ranked number? Actually

20:49

guess, guess. Like as in out

20:52

of all the countries? I believe it's worldwide.

20:54

Worldwide. Out of all the countries.

20:57

Who's the happiest?

20:59

Yeah. I think we should have number a week. Or what number a week.

21:01

I wanted to guess like who was number one. That's

21:04

a good question. You're on I reckon. If

21:06

we asked Americans they would say we're the

21:08

happiest and I can almost guarantee

21:10

that they're not. Probably not. I'm

21:13

going to get some more in the country. We're like number five. We're

21:15

number five. Number five you reckon? Yeah, I reckon

21:17

five. I have bad news for you. We

21:20

are actually number 12. But that's still pretty high.

21:23

That's, oh, I guess out of all

21:25

the countries that's not too bad. Now I think about it.

21:28

Our producer just said that

21:30

number one is Finland. And didn't I say a Nordic,

21:32

is that a Nordic country? Yeah, all the Naughty's. They're

21:34

so happy. The Naughty's. Oh my god. They're

21:38

so happy. They're so happy. I'm obsessed with them.

21:40

They just live their little best lives. They live in their best lives. And

21:42

what was the last one? I apologise. Afghanistan.

21:45

Look, that actually makes quite a lot of sense

21:47

as to why they wouldn't be happy at this point in time. Oh,

21:50

that makes me want to hug them all and do something. No. Our

21:52

producer has also just let us know that America

21:55

was about like 15. New Zealand was ahead

21:57

of us unsurprisingly.

21:58

Oh yeah, that seems about right. Surprisingly,

22:00

and their Prime Minister just quit. So

22:02

like, I'm surprised because I'd be really

22:05

unhappy with that. Maybe this is old data. They

22:07

were just like happy when they had Jacinda.

22:09

Yes, exactly. I'd be riding

22:12

once she left. But anyway, it is so

22:14

important to talk about it. And I guess how

22:17

they measure that is really important as well, because

22:19

I think it wasn't a surprise when a Nordic country

22:22

was number one, but then also when Afghanistan

22:24

was the last. So that study

22:27

actually looked at things like people's

22:29

freedom to make life choices, which is really

22:31

important. The generosity of the

22:33

people in that country. GDP,

22:36

so gross domestic product. So obviously

22:38

that's kind of like

22:39

how much money is coming in and out

22:42

of the country to make sure that economically

22:44

it's doing well. Perceptions of corruption

22:47

among citizens. Healthy

22:49

life expectancy. So I guess that stretches

22:52

into lots of different areas at the crux

22:54

of it. And then things like social support.

22:56

So that makes sense because the naughties, they've

22:59

got elite amounts of maternity.

23:01

Do you know they get like a year of paid leave?

23:04

That is so classic. They are so

23:07

good at what they do. For healthcare across the

23:09

board. Yeah. No, no, you don't

23:11

need to pay to go to the GP.

23:13

They're like, what's a gap? We've never heard of one. No.

23:16

Never Medicare. We don't need you. This

23:18

is possibly fake news, but I heard not a single

23:20

bully.

23:21

Not a single bully. Like the whole place. We'll

23:24

have to put an asterisk on that because I'm sure

23:26

that there are some naughty, naughty. There's possibly some

23:28

bullies. Possibly some bullies. But

23:30

you know what? We're glorifying them. We're

23:32

putting them on that big pedestal. Obviously

23:35

understandably, a population is only going to be

23:37

experiencing really high levels of overall life

23:39

satisfaction if its people are like pro-social,

23:42

healthy and prosperous. So all of that makes

23:44

a lot of sense. In other words, basically

23:47

it's people have to have high levels of what

23:49

Aristotle get this called eudaimonia.

23:51

So at the level of society,

23:54

life satisfaction and eudaimonia

23:56

go hand in hand. Bec, that's

23:58

a mouthful of a word.

23:59

We might have to Google what that means. Altruism.

24:03

Also a mouthful of a word. But altruism is

24:05

also highly linked to happiness. And the study

24:08

that was done that we're talking about actually consistently

24:10

found that we get greater joy

24:12

by giving to others. Oh, that is so wholesome. Isn't

24:15

that cute? Yeah, that's really cute. I think it makes sense

24:17

because I just love giving people presents. We should

24:19

try that today, but you actually try that

24:21

every day. I'm going to try to start doing that.

24:23

I love that. All right. Let's

24:25

go to a really quick break. Let's go to the flip side. We need to

24:28

reestablish and we will go back to talking

24:29

about the myth at hand.

24:36

We are back. We just had another look at the actual

24:38

ranker and it is very interesting. I recommend

24:40

Googling that. I'm moving to... Oh, 100%. Sorry,

24:43

we forgot to mention we are both moving to Finland.

24:45

Yeah, I'm moving to Finland. I want to live there.

24:47

I just think that they're happy. Also, they're really hot. And

24:50

they're hot. They're hot. They're really

24:52

hot people. And I'm hoping that via osmosis, I will get

24:54

hotter. Listen to us, V. We're comparing.

24:57

Yeah, we are. But like, sugar. That's science.

25:00

Osmosis is a scientific term. Yeah.

25:04

Anyway, we'll go on about that later. This

25:06

is not she's on the science. It's she's on the money.

25:08

Carry on. Okay, so back to the topic.

25:11

I'm wondering V, what are some of the traps we get ourselves

25:13

into when we focus on this quote unquote

25:16

making it

25:17

myth? Bec, obviously it's super important

25:19

to be doing things like setting goals. And that's really positive

25:21

and totally natural to want to have things like

25:24

ambitions, whatever that means for you. But

25:26

we need to be careful about not letting these

25:28

things become toxic and flipping

25:31

into a narrative that either

25:33

is not going to work for us or is actually detrimental

25:36

to the rest of our life. That

25:38

completely makes sense. And I guess

25:40

it kind of makes me think, and this could

25:43

probably sound a little bit random, but

25:45

random. Is there more pressure on women to be

25:47

like everything? Be

25:49

it all. I even feel the pressure

25:52

to be it all, right? Like it is no secret that

25:54

I really want to be a mum. Like I want to

25:56

have a baby at some point it will be

25:58

the light of my life. I'm hoping.

25:59

imagine if I got there and I'm like, this is trash, why did

26:02

I do this? But it's just this idea

26:04

that I want to be a career driven woman. I want

26:06

to be a mom, I want to be a good wife, I want to

26:09

be financially successful, also life

26:11

successful. And I feel like that we feel that

26:13

additional pressure, not only because we put it on

26:16

ourselves, but also because women are judged

26:18

so harshly. There's a case in point

26:20

right here, right? I follow Steph Claire Smith

26:23

on social media, obsessed with her, love her.

26:25

I think that she is this incredible

26:28

role model for women and people everywhere

26:31

to just be, I don't

26:33

know, more wholesome, do a better job, be

26:35

the best version of you. I'm obsessed with

26:37

the whole kick vibe. Anyway, we

26:39

won't go on and on about that. But it is wild

26:42

because she posts

26:43

so much content about her and her

26:46

son Harvey online. And Harvey,

26:48

honestly,

26:49

that kid is one of the most

26:51

aesthetically pleasing toddlers

26:53

you've seen in your life. He has these curls

26:56

that you could just eat. And

26:58

there's these beautiful videos of her making

27:01

porridge with him or just doing mum stuff. And

27:03

I find that from my perspective, so

27:05

motivating. And I just think that there's this idea

27:08

that, wow, she can be it all.

27:10

But the amount of criticism that this poor woman

27:12

gets because of the amount of work that she

27:14

does, people are like, oh, where's your

27:16

son? Who's looking after your son? Or you don't

27:18

spend enough time with your kid. You don't do this.

27:21

You don't do that. Obviously, she travels

27:23

a bit for work as do I.

27:26

It's going to be the reality of my life at some

27:28

point too. But that doesn't mean that

27:30

this kid isn't fulfilled. And there just

27:32

is this idea that you

27:34

can't have it all. So people want it all.

27:37

But then if you're seen to be having a good

27:39

life

27:40

and balancing it, and I don't believe

27:42

in balance, I just don't think it exists, well, people

27:44

will cut you down and let you know that, oh, well, what

27:47

are you doing? Where's your kid? Why

27:49

aren't you looking after your kid? Because though that kid doesn't

27:51

have another parent that is completely

27:53

competent and capable. Like, I

27:55

swear if somebody ever asks

27:58

me about my child one day. and

28:00

where they are or what they're doing, heads

28:03

will roll. Heads will roll because

28:05

that to me is undermining the fact

28:07

that I have a completely capable life

28:10

partner that can also help me in that circumstance.

28:13

And I just don't believe in this concept of

28:15

work-life balance in the way that it used

28:17

to exist because the way that it used to exist

28:20

was that

28:21

one entity in a family could

28:23

go to work and earn enough money back.

28:26

One person could go to work, earn enough money

28:29

to buy a house, pay the mortgage,

28:31

put food on the table, go on

28:33

a humble family holiday each and every single year,

28:36

put children through education and have a

28:38

good life while having another party who

28:40

stayed home full time to do housekeeping

28:43

duties. Oh my God, imagine that.

28:45

Do you have anyone in your life where only

28:48

one person in that relationship works but they

28:50

own a house, have kids, live their

28:52

best life and don't have any financial stress? Not

28:54

a single person. It's not the reality

28:57

anymore. No. And this idea that

28:59

that's the type of commitment we should be

29:01

giving

29:01

blows my mind but also it's just

29:03

so unrealistic. I also

29:06

think it's really important that regardless of how

29:08

the circumstances are changed, Beck,

29:10

is it not the coolest thing in the entire

29:13

world that one day I might

29:15

be able to become a mum who

29:17

has

29:18

her best life at the same time? Like

29:21

I am obsessed with She's On The Money. I

29:23

cannot imagine leaving that community

29:25

to focus on creating

29:27

a family. Do you know why? Because I'd be

29:29

really upset. I would not be motivated.

29:32

I would not be the best version of myself and

29:34

if I'm not the best version of myself, how the hell

29:36

am I going to be a good mum?

29:38

And I guess to further that,

29:39

I'm so flipping lucky. I grew

29:41

up in a family where both my parents worked

29:43

full time and I think that's where my work

29:45

ethic ended up coming from. Do I feel like

29:48

I had less? Do I feel like I missed out

29:50

on anything? No. I

29:52

love after school care every single time. No, not

29:54

ideal. But like you get what you get and you

29:56

don't get upset sometimes because even that

29:59

was a privilege when you look back on it. Like

30:02

why is this concept that I

30:04

would need to be with my child 24-7 for

30:06

them to have a good fulfilling life

30:09

the reality? It makes

30:11

to me absolutely no sense. But

30:13

the idea that all of that burden

30:16

is put only on the mum. Have you ever

30:18

heard someone go, oh,

30:20

Steve, Steve, where's your kid right

30:23

now? You're in a meeting. What are you doing?

30:25

Yeah. How much time do you spend with your child? It's

30:27

so wild. And then obviously this

30:30

is, you know, I don't have kids. So this

30:32

is not a projection of my own parenting technique

30:34

or anything like that. But I guarantee

30:36

at some point I'm going to post

30:38

a picture of my child and my husband

30:41

just at the park and they're going to go, he's such

30:43

a good dad. He's so good.

30:46

Oh my God. Is he pushing that kid on a swing?

30:48

Elite. Yeah. But I've

30:51

emptied the dishwasher. I've done like three loads of washing.

30:53

I've cleaned the house all before my kid

30:55

and my husband woke up. I did all of

30:58

these other things and people were like, where's

31:00

your kid?

31:00

You grew a human. I grew a

31:02

whole entire human.

31:04

And I don't even get a, oh, you

31:06

get a gold star, Bec. Yeah. I get

31:09

a, yeah, well you're the mum. Exactly.

31:11

You're the mum though. And

31:14

you know what? Then I guess to stretch this further,

31:16

because lots of my friends have kids and I'm obsessed with

31:18

them. The audacity on those tiny

31:20

toddlers to then make the dad their favourite.

31:23

Oh, are you joking? Are

31:25

you joking tiny terrorists? Are

31:27

you joking? Like they go, you

31:30

do all the work. You get all the societal

31:32

pressure. Nobody is going to

31:34

step in

31:34

and help you. But the second they see your

31:36

husband pushing a kid in the

31:39

supermarket being like, they're like, oh, do you need hand?

31:41

Like, oh, that must be hard work. Looking after that toddler.

31:44

No, you know what?

31:45

For then the kid to be like, also

31:48

by the way, you're not my favourite mum. Daddies.

31:51

Daddies. And you know, there's something

31:54

quite cruel about the fact that

31:56

children do say dada

31:59

a lot

31:59

faster.

31:59

stuff. Look, there's obviously this is just

32:02

like stretching into like a science lesson

32:04

with Victoria, but I did actually

32:06

do psychology. Few things to

32:08

note there just on the science front. First

32:11

thing first, data is an easier

32:13

phrase for little kids to say quicker

32:16

and often because the mum is always

32:18

talking about the dad. It comes

32:20

up quicker. Right? That

32:22

makes sense. You know, oh, when's dad coming home? Oh,

32:24

dada, rah, rah, rah. They are going to pick

32:27

that up easier than mum because the articulation

32:29

is a little bit different. But then

32:32

also, I think it's up until the age of 18 months,

32:35

kids actually see their mum as an extension

32:38

of them. They do not view

32:40

their mother as a separate individual

32:43

to them. They just go, well, that's mum because

32:45

I have no capacity to look after myself. So

32:47

that's me looking after myself. That's just mum. Dad,

32:50

he's really exciting because he is actually

32:52

an independent body and that's really fun.

32:54

Mum's actually a given. So the fact

32:57

that mum's are not the favourite, it's not

32:59

because you're not the

32:59

favourite, babe. It's actually just because

33:02

their little brains think that you are them

33:04

and they are you and same. That is so

33:06

cute. It's kind of cute, right? And once you understand

33:08

it, you're like, oh, well. And you know what? I

33:10

guarantee when I'm a mum, this circumstance will happen

33:12

and I'm going to be elated. It's

33:15

5am on a Sunday morning, Beck. My kid

33:17

can say dad. They're screaming

33:19

dad and I get to roll over in bed and be like,

33:22

that's you, honey. Perfect. That's

33:24

you. Oh my gosh. It's

33:27

going to be stunning. I'll be like, that's you. That's

33:29

not me. In

33:29

that case, I'm kind of happy about that. Yeah. So

33:32

like we're not mad that they're the favourite because I

33:34

am that child. So therefore

33:37

I'm also your

33:38

favourite. Yes. Stunning.

33:41

Anyway, let's get back to talking about

33:44

this idea of having it all. So V, there's

33:46

a term that we

33:47

probably both hear a lot recently and that is

33:49

girl boss. So

33:51

I kind of just want to touch on girl boss, hustle culture,

33:54

that kind of like. I'm not a girl. I'm

33:57

actually a woman. Can we just start there? Oh, I didn't know.

33:59

Sorry.

33:59

I feel like even the term

34:02

girl boss, if you like sit and stare

34:04

at it for a hot minute, it's like the

34:07

patriarchy sticking their middle finger

34:09

up at you because they

34:11

won't even call me a woman in that circumstance.

34:14

A girl is

34:15

flitty and fun and like

34:17

doesn't take anything seriously. I'm

34:19

not just a boss. I'm a girl boss. Like,

34:22

I feel like there was this culture where we were really trying

34:24

to embrace it for a while, but I just

34:26

think that this idea that we

34:28

need to reference our gender

34:30

when talking about our professional capabilities

34:33

blows my mind. Oh, a female

34:35

doctor, female lawyer,

34:38

girl boss. No, I actually

34:40

just happened to be a boss of a business. I

34:43

actually, I don't even call myself a

34:45

boss. I think that that's actually really toxic

34:47

because I don't want to boss my team around. I

34:49

actually want to be a leader. I would love to

34:51

think that, you know, if you sat down

34:54

my team individually, they'd be like, yeah, these are really good

34:56

leader. Like she leads by example. I

34:58

don't want to be somebody that bosses people.

35:00

It just, the whole thing to me is toxic,

35:03

but the idea of this girl

35:05

boss culture and this hustle culture,

35:08

Gen Z, they've got it covered. I want

35:10

to be a Gen Z when I grow up. They

35:12

have it covered. They have canceled it. They're

35:15

pushing it back. They leave on time. They leave

35:17

their jobs. They're like, oh babe, it's 5pm. And

35:19

people will be like, well, why are you leaving? Like we've got heaps

35:21

too. They'll be like, are you going to pay me? Like

35:23

the audacity on a Gen Z needs to

35:26

be cut and paste into every

35:28

other generation because I'm obsessed.

35:30

But then you talk to the baby boomers and they'll say things

35:32

like, oh, but you have to cut your teeth. Oh,

35:34

but you have to put in the time, energy and effort. Oh

35:37

yeah. Well, I had to do it. So you have

35:39

to do it. Absolutely not. No, we

35:41

can't say that. Like your ability

35:44

and your capability and your worth as an individual

35:47

is not dictated by how many hours you

35:49

put into that thing. Like it

35:51

just, it blows my mind. But this idea

35:53

of having it all, I think there is

35:56

this idea of having it all, but it looks really different

35:58

these days. And I think that I get. to flip

36:00

this to be a little bit of a personal anecdote.

36:03

COVID taught me a lot about having it all. Like

36:06

you guys know, I would hope by now enough

36:08

about me to know that I came out of corporate.

36:10

I was running a relatively large business. COVID

36:13

happened. We decided to really scale

36:15

it back. I just didn't want to do what I

36:17

was doing. Like I was the girl boss.

36:20

And I think that we need to acknowledge that I did

36:22

fall into that. Obviously my mentality now

36:24

has changed, but like, Beck, get this. I would

36:27

get up. This is disgusting. And I mean, if

36:29

you want to scroll

36:29

back that far on my Instagram, you're probably going to find

36:32

it because I haven't tried to hide it, but

36:34

yeah.

36:36

So I used to get up at 4.30 AM. I used

36:39

to go to the gym. There was a very

36:41

long period of time where I thought

36:43

a bulletproof coffee was real cool. So

36:45

I'd make that in my NutriBullet. I blend

36:47

butter with coffee because

36:50

obviously that's genius. And I'd put MHC

36:53

or something. There was like some kind of special.

36:55

No, it was like this oil. I can't

36:57

even remember, but I would buy it online from iHerb.

37:00

Anyway, I'd have my bulletproof coffee and I would

37:02

have gone to the gym and I was like stacking on

37:04

the protein. I would like journal.

37:06

I didn't even know what I was writing at that point,

37:08

but like, this is how to be successful. This is

37:10

what you do. Like I was journaling junk.

37:13

Like I wasn't putting down my real feelings. I was writing

37:15

things out like I am a boss. I'm a badass

37:17

bitch. Like it was really bad.

37:20

And then I had this idea in my head

37:22

that to be the leader of the

37:24

company,

37:25

I needed to always be at work. So like

37:28

I would make sure I was at work by like 7 or 7.30. So

37:30

that I

37:32

was there before every single one of my staff

37:34

got there. So I could be like, Oh, good morning. And

37:36

I was like there before you. Also,

37:39

if you were still there in the afternoon, there is absolutely

37:41

no chance I would have left before you. I would

37:43

make sure I was a first in and the last out

37:46

because that's how business owners should be.

37:48

Right.

37:48

I had absolutely no life. My mental

37:51

health was in the bin. Yeah. I looked

37:53

pretty cute though. Cause like I got up and I always

37:55

put on my little power suit and looked great. Rah,

37:57

rah. But that was not a reflection of my

37:59

mental health.

37:59

mental health space, COVID happened,

38:02

forced, and there's obviously like a few gaps in this story,

38:04

that's fine, but COVID happened, realised

38:07

that that was trash, was forced to work from home.

38:10

Obviously, mental health for everybody during that

38:12

period of time sucked. So I was spending way,

38:14

way more time in bed. I also wasn't having

38:16

to please anybody or like adhere to

38:18

these cultural norms of being there at

38:21

7am. So I started sleeping in and I started not

38:23

having that disgusting bulletproof coffee. And

38:25

I started like listening to my body and how it works.

38:27

And now the way I run a business is entirely

38:29

different. And I do think that having

38:32

it all means something so different.

38:34

Like do I want to be the biggest business in the world?

38:37

No.

38:37

Like I am so adverse to

38:40

hiring new individuals into the team,

38:42

unless it's absolutely critical to

38:45

maintaining the quality of content

38:47

that we put out here. I don't want to be the biggest

38:49

podcast in the world. I don't want that burden. I don't

38:51

want that responsibility. Do you know how much fun

38:54

we have every day? Like we come

38:56

in, it's like I get to catch up

38:58

with what I feel like are my good friends. Like we

39:00

create some content. We don't put timelines

39:03

on things in the same way that I would have done

39:05

historically. Like I've been talking about

39:07

a

39:07

new investment course for so long.

39:10

I'm so excited by the way it's coming. We've done all the branding.

39:12

I have started writing it. It is coming. But

39:14

like we haven't put a due date

39:16

on it because I'd prefer it to be created

39:18

in this beautiful way that everybody's

39:21

always engaged with it. And when it happens, we'll start announcing

39:23

it. But historical me would have been like,

39:25

all right, Bec, so we need to sit down and we need

39:27

to map this out and get it done by the first

39:29

of March. And then it goes out. Here's the marketing

39:31

strategy. Like I've just taken away

39:34

the aggression from what I have been creating.

39:36

And I think that that has

39:37

meant that we've thrived even more. Like

39:39

this idea that

39:41

my team don't have set working hours.

39:43

It's just like 38 hours a week. Yep. Call it even.

39:45

Like I just think this idea of hustle

39:47

culture, it's dead. And you know why it's dead? Because

39:50

you can't be your best self when you're focusing

39:52

so hard on something that shouldn't even define

39:55

you. Yeah. I don't want to go to

39:57

a barbecue and people go, you like girl

39:59

from She's on the Moon.

39:59

Yeah, also

40:02

I'm a really cool friend and I really like talking

40:04

absolute trash and I really like this other

40:07

friend I'd like to introduce you to and I'd like

40:09

to have a nice cocktail and have a good time. Like

40:11

I don't want to be defined by my work. It's

40:13

very unlikely that I would talk

40:16

to you about that because I do that all week. Like,

40:18

can we not talk about that? So I think

40:20

it's really important to go with what's of value

40:22

to you and I'm pretty sure Beck if I sat you down and said,

40:24

what are your values? Do you want to be defined

40:26

by the work that you do?

40:28

Not really. You don't want to be a video producer

40:30

forever in a podcaster. Like that's who you are and

40:32

what you do and you live and you breathe it. I'm

40:35

kind of getting that way, but I definitely don't want to be. Yeah,

40:37

but it's because you're passionate, not because you're

40:40

forced into this idea that you need

40:42

to adhere to the social norms

40:44

of what a video producer would look like. Exactly.

40:47

Exactly. It's crazy to me, this idea

40:50

that especially as women, we

40:52

are expected to adhere

40:54

to our job, right? Like if you see a lawyer

40:56

on Instagram. A

40:58

female lawyer. Oh, yes, a girl lawyer. A

41:00

female, a girl lawyer. I'm going to start being

41:02

really condescending and I'll be like, doctor, male

41:04

doctor. Oh my God, it's a boy doctor.

41:07

Boy doctor.

41:08

Boy scientist. A boy scientist. A boy

41:10

scientist. I've never heard of that before.

41:13

But I just, I think this idea

41:15

that as women, we need to be professional 24

41:17

seven, absolutely

41:19

out the window. Like it,

41:22

straight out, straight out. It makes absolutely

41:24

no sense. Why can't I be seen

41:27

as an absolute professional and

41:29

also love cats and buy fairy

41:31

wings on the internet and love painting my nails,

41:33

rainbow colors and talking to my friends about

41:36

absolute trash and sharing that publicly

41:39

while not diminishing the fact that I am actually

41:41

a finance expert. I have

41:43

a lot of credentials in this space. I'm

41:46

actually relatively intelligent. My fun

41:48

and my life doesn't matter. I

41:50

might be a train wreck on the weekends.

41:52

Does that change the level of intelligence and value

41:54

I bring to the world? Absolutely not. You

41:56

do you boo. Absolutely sis.

41:59

only fans, it's just not my vibe. But

42:02

like if I did, does that mean that I

42:04

am not as smart when it comes to managing

42:06

money? No, absolutely not. But that

42:08

doesn't make me any less of a human because I have

42:10

different values and goals and things

42:12

that I like engaging in. I think that when it comes

42:15

back to what does making it actually mean, what do you

42:17

actually want out of your life? I think a

42:19

really big question that we need to ask ourselves is,

42:21

is my career dictating

42:24

who I am? And if it is, and you're

42:26

so passionate about it, great. Because as much as I personally

42:28

talk about not wanting to be defined by my job, far

42:31

out back, I'm obsessed. Like I

42:33

live it, I breathe it, like I get up in the

42:35

mornings and I'm thinking of new things that I can do. I'm

42:38

so passionate about it. You might not have

42:40

that passion and that doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.

42:42

Not everyone has a passion. Exactly. Vi,

42:45

we've talked heaps about this kind of

42:47

like grasses greener mindset

42:50

and this kind of like comparison culture and things

42:52

like that. But I guess what should we take

42:54

away? How can we shift our mentality and

42:56

kind of bring ourselves up and

42:58

stop this, like looking at

43:00

our the Joneses and our neighbors

43:02

and trying to like, you know, one up

43:05

each other. So, you know, horses. Horses,

43:08

I do know. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

43:10

so they have these things called blinkers that they

43:13

put on them so that when they're racing,

43:15

they don't get distracted by the horse

43:17

beside them because they'll be like, oh, horsey, that's

43:19

crazy. And that's what I'm like.

43:22

So I need to put some blinkers on

43:24

to make sure that I can't see

43:26

what other people are doing. And I think that

43:29

that starts by only following

43:32

content online that actually resonates

43:34

with you. I think there's a very big difference

43:36

between aspirational content and

43:38

content that you're following because you're envious

43:41

of it deeply. And I think we need to have a look

43:43

at that and go, well, where are we starting? Because

43:45

obviously, when we talk about the grass is always

43:47

greener mindset. There's this black

43:49

and white view that it's all or nothing. And

43:52

I think that when we talk about, well,

43:54

where are you getting your content from, Bec? Like,

43:56

how is this working? How do we put maybe

43:58

some blinders on ourselves?

45:59

greener you got there and it was terrible. No,

46:02

like might be the same, but like the grass is

46:04

greener where you water it. The grass is greener where

46:06

you're actually nourishing the grass and growing

46:08

your own and putting your own pastures into

46:11

so. Like it's really sexy to

46:13

have your own pasture. Heck, mine might

46:15

be full of clover,

46:16

but you know what? I love my clover. It's

46:19

very, very good. But I think that there's just

46:21

this idea that it's all or nothing.

46:23

If I'm going to be a career girlie, I need to go all

46:25

in with it. You can

46:27

do everything. Doesn't

46:30

mean you have to do all of it all at once.

46:32

Exactly right. Slow and steady.

46:34

No rush. Just get it done. Dabbling

46:37

the things that make you happy. Like obviously

46:39

comparative thinking is really negative. Fortune

46:42

telling sucks as well. So like

46:44

a type of bias is where your brain believes

46:46

it's able to see into the future. Literally,

46:49

it's a psychological phenomenon where

46:51

your brain just thinks it's able to predict the

46:53

future. How many times have I said, if

46:55

I could predict the future,

46:56

I'd be real rich? Because

46:58

you can't do it. And the narrative that you'll

47:01

hear in your head, Beck, when that comes

47:03

up is,

47:04

I'd be so much better off if I XYZ.

47:08

I'm going to be in a better position if I ABC. I'd

47:11

be so much better off if I had what Beck had.

47:13

That's fortune telling

47:15

because you don't know that. It's not

47:17

guaranteed. Who absolutely

47:19

knows that? Nobody. So I think it's

47:22

really important to kind of just talk about

47:24

this narrative because the grass is green in

47:26

mindset.

47:27

Honestly, it oversimplifies the alternative

47:30

as being the better alternative. I

47:32

might be allergic to your grass. I don't know. Yep.

47:35

All right, so what I'm taking away from this and correct

47:38

me if I'm wrong, but I'm going to go through and

47:40

list these out. Okay, so first things first

47:42

is be mindful of your thinking. Stunning.

47:45

Challenge your thinking. Yes, absolutely.

47:48

Be grateful for what you have.

47:50

Be grateful for what you already have. For what

47:52

you already have. Yeah, exactly. I

47:54

feel like that's the most important thing. Yes. Not

47:57

to say that it was literally a

47:58

couple weeks ago.

47:59

I said if someone says you should be grateful,

48:02

then you shouldn't be grateful. But I'm saying be

48:04

grateful for what you already have in your

48:06

world. Be present,

48:09

as present as you can be. Be focused and

48:12

make changes carefully. So brainstorm

48:15

options, list the pros and cons of possibilities,

48:18

talk to others when you need it, act

48:20

and evaluate the change. And of

48:22

course, last but not least, seek professional help

48:24

if you do feel like you're struggling. There

48:27

are so many resources out there that can help you.

48:29

My favourite

48:29

one at the moment is Beyond Blue. And

48:32

I'm saying that because I think that there's

48:34

this misconception that you should only

48:36

reach out to professionals like that when things

48:38

are really bad. Like it's catastrophic. Like,

48:41

narcissists, if you want to just change your mind frame,

48:44

these are great resources to

48:46

be helping you do things like reframe. And

48:48

they're usually free. So go

48:51

check them out. But Bec, as always,

48:53

it is a pleasure hanging out with you each

48:55

and every single week and getting to do a little

48:57

deep dive into a topic that I'm wildly passionate

48:59

about. But

48:59

that is all we have time for today. So let's

49:02

go and we'll see you beautiful people on

49:04

Friday. See you guys then.

49:06

Bye.

49:11

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49:14

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49:16

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49:18

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