0:00

holy fuck. That entire one and a half

0:02

movie was one giant

0:04

episode of shit we don't tell mom.

0:07

Yeah, because there

0:09

was a lot of things that she didn't tell her mom,

0:13

and then it piled on and on

0:15

and on and on, and then exploded.

0:41

Welcome back to another episode of shit. We don't

0:43

tell mom this.

0:44

this is Christie

0:46

And today is our season

0:48

three finale. And we're going to be talking

0:50

about the movie that

0:52

just came well, we're not going to be just

0:54

talking about the movie, but we're going to talk about some

0:57

topics that are very important

0:59

to us that were

1:01

covered in the movie, turning red

1:05

and Chrissy. And I both watched the movie last

1:07

week. we actually accidentally

1:10

not even, we serendipitously

1:13

watched it on the same night without

1:16

even knowing, like, without knowing in advance.

1:18

I only found out when I logged onto

1:20

our Instagram to post something about it on the story

1:23

and saw that Christie had already posted

1:25

something. And I was like, oh my God. So I messaged,

1:27

her right away. I'm like, oh my God, are you watching this? I'm watching

1:30

it too. I'm going to tell you so many opinions

1:32

after.

1:33

C R wavelengths are still

1:35

riding in the same frequency, even

1:38

though we are in three hour time

1:40

zone differences apart.

1:41

Yes. Yes, we are vibrating at

1:43

the same gigahertz. I

1:45

don't know. I don't know. Anyway. so what

1:48

were your thoughts about the movie? How

1:52

did you feel during the movie?

1:54

How did you feel after the movie?

1:56

How do you feel now?

1:58

okay. Before the movie

2:00

even started, like before

2:03

the turning. Oh, by the way, listeners

2:05

major spoiler alert from

2:08

here on now. So

2:10

if you have, so you

2:13

have not watched the movie come

2:15

back to this episode after

2:17

you have watched the movie turning

2:21

red. Okay. Spoilers

2:23

begin. So even

2:26

before the, the scene

2:28

where it says turning red, you know, where like

2:30

the title comes on, right? Yeah.

2:34

Like the one minute before that

2:36

I was already grinning

2:39

like crazy, just plastered

2:41

on my face. And from that moment, it just

2:43

stayed on for the entire one and a half hours.

2:47

So that was my foundational.

2:51

Or your motion was just like this massive

2:53

grin on my face. And then throughout

2:55

the movie, during all the different scenes and,

2:58

and all of the, you know, different

3:00

story climaxes, I

3:03

would either be laughing with

3:05

the grin on my face or crying,

3:08

like bawling,

3:10

like, like I'm talking real ball

3:13

with, with snot

3:16

and sticky stuff coming out of all

3:18

sorts of my facial parts.

3:21

that's so gross and so sweet at the same

3:23

time.

3:24

And then, but I still could not stop

3:27

smiling because of all

3:29

the thousand and one Easter

3:31

eggs that have been placed in

3:34

this movie. And every single one of

3:36

them made me smile. I've

3:38

categorized them into three different parts. One

3:40

is the nostalgia. So the 2002

3:43

early two thousands era, then

3:46

there's the Asian representation. And then.

3:48

The Canadian culture and

3:51

every time I see any one of those three,

3:53

and oftentimes it'd be like every single

3:56

fucking scene on this

3:58

storyboard, I would,

4:00

I would just grin at the

4:03

representation and just grin

4:05

at the familiarity of it, you

4:08

know? And that's why

4:10

I kept smiling throughout the entire movie. How

4:13

did I feel afterwards? very

4:16

emotional nostalgia aside.

4:18

I think there was a lot of themes that

4:22

we can relate to and we can touch more on that

4:24

later in this episode. but it, it

4:27

made me feel, it made

4:29

me feel. So

4:32

few episodes ago in this season, sometimes

4:35

during the season we had an episode on

4:37

hanging out with our inner child. And

4:40

not only did it feel like I was

4:43

hanging out with her while I was watching

4:45

this movie, it made me feel

4:47

like she was crying and

4:50

I was giving her a hug. Like

4:54

she was hurt. She was in a place

4:56

where she was really hurt

4:59

and had a lot of pain. And

5:02

there was someone there to

5:04

hold her that.

5:10

And I think a lot of the

5:12

pain represented

5:16

in the movie without making

5:19

it feel like this movie is, you

5:22

know, very sad and depressing because it is

5:24

totally not, but

5:27

it has touched on themes that

5:29

will bring up some of these emotions.

5:31

And I think part of that

5:34

is the scariness.

5:37

When you transition from being

5:41

a kid to feeling

5:43

like you're becoming an

5:45

adult and like the movie set,

5:47

there's a lot of growing pains that come with

5:49

that. And I think, I think

5:51

back to when I was going through

5:53

those growing pains, it didn't

5:56

feel like I had a lot of support.

5:58

Maybe I did, but I just didn't recognize. So

6:01

I felt lonely. And so now when

6:03

I watched this movie and I see some of these themes

6:05

come up and, and they're being represented

6:09

on TV with someone that

6:11

looks like me, except the

6:13

red hair part, it,

6:16

it felt like I'm

6:19

allowing myself to revisit that part

6:21

of my past and then allowing

6:24

myself to feel comforted. Even though I

6:26

felt so alone at that time when it happened,

6:28

yeah, it's a very complex

6:30

relationship with the movie that

6:33

cannot be, cannot be narrowed down to

6:36

a couple of emotions based on. For

6:39

me, prior to watching the movie,

6:41

I saw, you know, there was that, male,

6:44

white movie reviewer or whatever,

6:46

where on Twitter, he said that the movie,

6:49

unlike other Pixar

6:51

movies, this one was very difficult to relate,

6:54

unless you're a part of a very specific,

6:57

narrow slice of society

6:59

or something like that. And I was like, ah, excuse

7:02

me. so like with that in mind,

7:04

it set up the expectation that there were

7:07

going to be a lot of specificity. Fuck

7:10

it. It gets specificity.

7:16

it gave me the idea that there

7:18

would be a lot of specific things in

7:20

the movie and

7:24

like it met. So that really met

7:26

and exceeded my expectations. So many

7:29

things that made me go, oh yeah. Oh my

7:31

God. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Like, you know, those

7:33

moments you know, we can't talk

7:35

about this movie without talking about representation

7:38

without even mentioning the word representation.

7:40

So like yes, that made me feel super represented.

7:43

I will say that the part for

7:45

me that was not as relatable for me. Was

7:48

when it was about 2002. And

7:50

when I was mailings age, I was still

7:53

kind of getting used to life in Canada. So

7:55

a lot of things that were in the

7:57

movie I never had, so I never had a Tamagotchi.

8:00

I don't think I had Tim Horton Timbits until

8:02

university. there was just all these other things

8:04

that I didn't really experience

8:06

when I was that age, which

8:09

doesn't mean that it makes any bad because you know, I'm

8:11

not this like white male movie

8:13

reviewer, that's narrow minded. Like,

8:15

it's so great for me to see, but on a personal

8:17

level, it wasn't as relatable for me.

8:19

I also never listened to boy bands. I

8:21

never went to a concert. I also didn't

8:24

really have that many friends, but

8:26

watching the movie almost

8:29

helped me relive that part.

8:32

It made me feel like included.

8:35

Mm.

8:37

Like they were my friends, like Miglin and

8:39

her friends were my.

8:41

Hmm.

8:42

And I didn't have friends like that until

8:44

I got older.

8:47

So it's interesting because in both of

8:49

our versions, we

8:52

somehow went back to our own childhood

8:54

and. Basically

8:56

like relived mine because I

8:59

did have a Tamagotchi. I,

9:02

I am still very into boy bands,

9:05

like that has not

9:07

grown out of the, I still live in

9:09

the early two thousands. I

9:12

attended my first concert

9:14

ever in 2003.

9:18

So basically Malin.

9:21

you

9:22

I was 13. I

9:24

was 13, 2003 attended my first

9:26

concert saved some money, went to this

9:28

event without any parents felt like a grownup,

9:31

you know? And That would have.

9:33

must mean so much to you. Like it has so

9:35

many parallels with your own life and

9:37

you're living in Toronto right now.

9:39

I know exactly. Okay. So here's the thing like

9:42

Malin, there's this entire movie.

9:44

Okay. You're not gonna, you're not gonna relate

9:46

a hundred percent. That's like not

9:48

possible. I mean, it is possible, but it's highly

9:51

unlikely that you're

9:53

going to be able to feel

9:55

every single thing that happened and relate

9:57

to every single detail, right. Because that's

10:00

mainland's life. And then Angie, this is your life.

10:02

I'm going to give this a critic.

10:05

Like, I don't know, two minutes

10:07

of our time. And then I don't want to talk about him anymore

10:10

because he does not deserve space

10:12

on our platform right now.

10:14

That's true.

10:15

But I just want to say how fucking,

10:18

like

10:18

rude. How

10:21

rude

10:23

how privilege it is

10:25

for this person to feel

10:27

like every single movie they need

10:30

to relate to and how

10:32

threatened. They feel

10:34

that when the moment somebody

10:37

else takes the big screen and

10:39

they don't relate to it, they feel like

10:42

that shouldn't be on their screen.

10:45

Yeah. And that's exactly why it was such a problematic

10:47

tweet and that's exactly what, everybody on the internet

10:50

was just like, fuck you, dude.

10:51

it goes without saying that he

10:55

feels definitely threatened. And the fact

10:57

that if

11:01

you, you know, what, I don't even, I

11:04

don't even want to go into

11:05

yeah. Let's not even go to it. Loo it,

11:08

we, yeah, that's a completely,

11:10

we're here to focus on

11:12

us. Not, not this,

11:14

you know, bozo,

11:16

going back to the movie. Yeah. I

11:18

felt super

11:20

heard and validated,

11:23

and I feel like we should drink every time we say the word

11:25

relate

11:25

relate representation.

11:28

Nostalgia.

11:30

it's going to come up like 5,000 times

11:32

in this episode. and yes, all,

11:35

all those Easter eggs about Toronto. I

11:37

now live in Toronto. If

11:39

I had watched this movie in Vancouver, I

11:41

think I would have still loved it a

11:43

lot, but maybe like 0.5%

11:47

less excited than I am now because

11:49

I see streets that I

11:51

recognize. Like, I look at Chinatown,

11:54

I'm like, that's fucking Spadina, you know?

11:56

And then she's running down

11:58

the alleyway. I'm like, that looks like Kensington market,

12:01

you know? And, and it's like, Daisy

12:04

Mart is a real.

12:05

Oh, really? I

12:07

It's not made up. That shit is real.

12:09

That's the convenience store. It's all over in

12:11

Toronto. So it's, you know,

12:13

these little, little things, right. And Skydome

12:15

is actually called Skydome. Like it's still part

12:17

of the trunk, Toronto

12:19

culture, trunk, Toronto,

12:22

Tony, and you know what, I'm not going to try.

12:24

specificity. Oh my God. I actually

12:26

said it right that time.

12:28

What I really, really

12:30

tugged at my heartstrings is

12:33

the Cantonese that was in the

12:35

movie, not

12:37

just the chanting, but like the Cantonese speaking.

12:40

You'll see it in random places. Like when they're

12:43

watching TV, when Malin and her mom

12:45

oh yeah. Watching the Chinese

12:47

television. Yes.

12:49

Yeah. And there were watching like the, the ancient,

12:52

dramas, which is exactly what

12:54

I, yes, the period dramas on

12:56

my fucking art. I, I, I would binge

12:58

that shit, you know, and I,

13:01

I used to watch it on cable.

13:05

People watch things on cable and

13:08

hearing Cantonese being spoken.

13:10

That was really special to me because I

13:12

think at least for me, it

13:15

feels like a lot of times when

13:17

Chinese culture is being represented it

13:19

a lot of times it's a Mandarin. So

13:23

when I heard Cantonese, when

13:25

she's running down Spadina

13:28

avenue in Chinatown, and you can hear

13:30

people in the background, speaking Chinese, you can

13:32

hear the Cantonese on the TV show.

13:35

You can hear the grandma's saying, say

13:37

sailor or something like that. S I,

13:39

why I'm pointing. She's like sailor. And

13:44

what I also love is when. I

13:47

like to actually watch movies with subtitles on,

13:50

so I'm I'm team subtitles and

13:52

every time they spoke in Cantonese, they

13:54

would not translate

13:57

that in the subtitles. It will just say

13:59

bracket IX, speaking

14:01

Cantonese, which I really

14:03

appreciated because I

14:05

don't know if you've seen the west side story. It's

14:08

a musical. Okay. So I

14:11

know we're talking about turning red, but in the west side

14:13

story, like twenty-five percent of the movie

14:15

is in Spanish and

14:18

they do not put subtitles when

14:20

they are speaking in Spanish. And the reason for

14:22

that is because the director does not

14:25

want to like elevate English,

14:27

like the language as

14:29

something, you know, more superior,

14:31

right? It's like, if you understand Spanish, great,

14:34

if you don't, well, they're speaking Spanish,

14:36

that's it. And I felt like I

14:39

don't know what the intention was, but when

14:41

I saw that all of the Cantonese

14:43

that was spoken in the movie was. Subtitled

14:47

or translated at the bottom. It

14:49

just felt like an extra, you know, oh,

14:51

here's, here's a little something, something for all you

14:53

Cantonese speakers out there.

14:57

yeah, actually you're right now that I think

14:59

about, I'm trying to think of a movie

15:01

in recent times where they spoke Cantonese

15:04

instead of Mandarin. I can't really think of any

15:07

like crazy rich, Asian they spoke Mandarin

15:09

of course, because it was Singapore. And then, In

15:12

farewell that happened in China.

15:14

So that's actually, I do appreciate

15:16

that Domi did that because she is from China

15:19

and not she's from a Mandarin speaking

15:21

part of China from actually.

15:24

So taking a step

15:26

back from talking about representation,

15:28

the intergenerational trauma was very,

15:31

parent and. Important.

15:35

I'm really glad that that was really highlighted.

15:38

and it was, it was, it was a theme that

15:40

I think anybody, maybe not anybody,

15:42

but I think a lot of people can relate

15:45

to and also identify

15:48

right away. Cause I think that

15:50

interracial, interracial intergenerational

15:54

trauma in other movies are probably

15:56

not as, front and forward.

15:59

It's usually like at the back of the plot, but I

16:01

think this was like, this was like the apply,

16:03

you know, like the, the,

16:06

every generation of women in

16:08

the family turns into a red Panda.

16:10

Like that's very generational, right? So

16:13

it was like very front and center

16:15

in the movies plot. whereas in

16:17

most other movies it's kind of in the background, like

16:19

off the top of my head, crazy rich Asian

16:21

Kung Fu Panda.

16:23

Shout out to Encanto. What

16:26

were some points that you felt like the

16:28

intergenerational trauma was represented

16:30

well in the movie and

16:35

whisper was maybe. Represented

16:38

not as well.

16:40

For me personally, the

16:42

part that was like just right

16:44

nail on the head kind of kind of a

16:46

moment was when the mom was like,

16:48

how could she do this to me?

16:50

Um,

16:51

was the most relatable because my mom

16:53

has said that before. And

16:55

she has expressed sentiments

16:57

in that regard before she understood

17:00

what it's like to not

17:05

put your own happiness on

17:08

your kid. Like

17:11

she's an only child. her parents she's

17:13

like the center of her parents' world and

17:16

she has to be this perfect kid and do well

17:18

with everything because you know, her parents

17:20

sacrifice so much for her and

17:22

she's trying to uphold that

17:24

expectation and trying to deliver. But

17:27

of course she struggles because that's not who she really

17:29

is. And that was really relatable for me.

17:31

and I think the representation

17:34

of Chinese fathers, because

17:37

Mailyn's dad was, he was there,

17:41

but he kind of played a side

17:44

kick role to the mom. And

17:46

that was very relatable to me too. I'm

17:49

not sure about other people because I know how I know

17:51

I have friends whose, whose, dads

17:53

played more the primary

17:56

parent figure. So in this

17:58

case, like, it's not like when we watch

18:01

movies based on. Like

18:04

white people's lives, where the parents are very,

18:06

like, they're like both reading a

18:08

book to their child at the same time,

18:11

which is like, how many families Chinese

18:14

were not, does that happen to you? Right. so for me

18:16

that was relatable. Like the one parent

18:18

really taking on all the responsibility,

18:21

because I don't think it's because

18:25

she doesn't trust her husband

18:27

or that she's bossy.

18:29

I think she expects that that's

18:31

her role as a mother

18:34

and that's expected of her and to

18:36

be a perfect mother, you have to be

18:38

like good. They could

18:40

pick up the helicopter while your kid

18:43

I think you touched a really great point here because

18:45

it's not just about Malin

18:48

and her growth, but there's actually

18:50

a lot of growth from

18:52

the mother as well. I

18:55

think there's this one scene towards

18:57

the end of the movie when Malin and

18:59

her mom and all the aunties and

19:01

grandma went to this other

19:04

dimension

19:05

the spirit world.

19:06

yeah, exactly. And they're about to,

19:08

split their Panda and

19:10

their human self. And mainland

19:12

finds her mom as

19:16

a kid feeling

19:18

super stressed out saying

19:21

the same words that Malin had said,

19:24

feeling all that pressure of trying to be perfect

19:28

and feeling like she can never live up to her mother's

19:30

expectations. And

19:33

clearly that, that was a cyclical

19:36

moment for Malin too,

19:38

to even witness. Can

19:40

you imagine meeting

19:43

your 13 year

19:45

old version of.

19:50

like, I've heard stories. So

19:52

I kind of have an idea, but

19:55

no, I cannot even imagine like

19:57

10% of what it was like for her

20:00

and like it, you know, this is all hypothetical

20:03

unless we have time Turners, but

20:05

just for a moment, imagine

20:08

what that would be like. And

20:10

that amount of empathy

20:13

and compassion that you will feel

20:16

after that encounter. With

20:19

13 year old mom, we

20:21

hear it from our parents all

20:23

the time. Like, I've been young

20:25

ones, I've been in your shoes, blah, blah, blah. But

20:27

when you hear that, usually it's like, you know, part of

20:29

some argument and every time

20:31

I have one those conversations with my mom, I,

20:33

my first thought is, well, that was a different generation.

20:36

Like you were in the other side of

20:38

the world and no standards

20:41

were different. Expectations were different, et

20:43

cetera, et cetera. So I'm like, You cannot say, you

20:46

cannot say you understand me because

20:48

we we're, we've grown up in different

20:50

places. And so basically everything

20:53

that she said would, would turn into shit, right? Like

20:55

there's zero credibility. When she says

20:57

she relates to how I feel when

20:59

I was 13. So

21:02

seeing that scene play

21:05

out actually made

21:07

me feel a

21:10

little bit more forgiving

21:13

to my mum because I'm

21:15

sure she had a

21:17

fuck ton of pressures as well. And

21:20

I think about my, my mom's story and I don't want to

21:22

go too much into it because that's her story, but she

21:24

lives. Majority of

21:26

her youth all the way up

21:28

into early twenties. Nope.

21:31

Lie all the way up into her,

21:34

late thirties, doing

21:36

all the things that her mom wanted her

21:38

to do. So my, what my grandma wanted

21:41

for her. So she lived her life for

21:43

my grandma. And,

21:47

and I know it's because grandma wanted

21:49

the best for her, blah, blah, blah. And then my

21:53

mom probably unknowingly

21:55

picked up a lot of these teaching methods

21:58

and started to expect the same from

22:00

me. And then I would feel

22:07

I would hold a lot of grudge against that, especially

22:09

because I grew up in a different world and

22:12

I see things a little, I see things differently.

22:16

And the movie

22:19

reminded me that there are things

22:21

that I still need

22:23

to forgive. My mom.

22:26

oh, I think that's exactly

22:29

why I was like, what I'm

22:31

hoping that this movie will

22:34

do slash is doing for a lot

22:36

of, Mother daughter relationships because

22:39

it as kids, we always

22:41

underestimate our parents, we

22:43

always do. Art podcast

22:45

name is to under estimate

22:47

and undermine our parents. But

22:50

obviously, you know, the listeners, like if

22:52

this is the only episode you've heard of, like, please

22:54

go and listen to our other episodes because we respect

22:57

our parents a lot. And, it's a reverse psychology

23:00

now what I mean now? I mean,

23:03

Wait, wait to plug some episodes in there.

23:05

yeah.

24:07

Okay. This movie though, I have to say, after

24:09

I finished watching the movie, of

24:11

course, I'm like giddy. I'm still,

24:14

you know, bump into four town music.

24:16

I've already downloading it on Spotify. But

24:20

my first thought was, holy fuck.

24:22

That entire one and a half movie

24:24

was one giant episode

24:26

of shit. We don't tell mom.

24:29

Yeah, because there

24:31

was a lot of things that she didn't tell her mom,

24:34

and then it piled on and on

24:36

and on and on, and then exploded.

24:40

And then it talked about, you know, communication

24:42

and forgiveness and understanding

24:44

and growth. And

24:47

sometimes. Not sometimes

24:49

in life, we move on, we

24:51

change and we need to accept that

24:53

change as part of our growth. And then how

24:56

do we manage these changes within our

24:58

relationship? And I think that was beautifully

25:00

done because at the end it wasn't, it

25:03

was like, there

25:06

was some flavors of bittersweetness

25:11

because both mom and MeiLin

25:14

still treasure, the times

25:16

that they had together before mainland,

25:19

you know, grew up, but

25:22

also allowing MeiLin

25:25

to grow up and

25:28

knowing that those memories that they have together,

25:30

that's always going to be there. It's always going to be treasured,

25:33

but moving forward, it's not going to be the same

25:35

routine anymore. And then accepting that, accepting

25:39

that. So

25:44

it's like a bittersweet moment and no matter,

25:46

I think where you are in

25:49

terms of your relationship with your mom, there's,

25:52

there's always going to be some level

25:55

of change that had happened throughout the years.

25:57

Like that's inevitable, right? People

25:59

grow up and your relationship

26:02

is not going to be the same forever. And

26:04

some people try to hold on to

26:08

what it was, but

26:11

you can't, and the more

26:13

you try to hold onto it, the more it kind

26:16

of backfires on you. And so really

26:19

it's almost a story of

26:21

letting go and accepting as

26:23

well.

26:25

and now I just want to go and hug my mom. Hmm.

26:30

I will say that like this movie has also

26:32

made me feel very lucky in

26:34

some regard as well. Well, I mean, yes, it

26:36

has made me feel very lucky because on

26:39

one side, there's just so much wholesomeness

26:43

in our community, you

26:46

know, like in the whole Asian American,

26:48

community, just everyone is just

26:51

wanting to. Really

26:54

get in touch with those, with like

26:56

that more vulnerable side of ourselves.

26:58

And we're really lucky

27:00

that we're in a generation that's doing that.

27:04

I think like, Relationship

27:07

with my mom has gotten to a very healthy

27:09

place and I have forgiven her

27:11

for a lot of things. And of course she's given forgiven

27:13

me because she is my mother. and she has learned

27:16

to set boundaries, learn to take step

27:18

back, learn to understand me.

27:20

And I've learned to understand her and

27:23

everything you're saying that you want to

27:25

forgive your mom and you want to just

27:27

see her side more. It

27:30

is really hard to do that when the other person

27:32

doesn't reciprocate. And

27:35

I think I only got so far with

27:37

my mom because she

27:39

has been very good at reciprocating

27:42

that sort of a respect and willingness

27:45

to grow.

27:46

I do agree in

27:49

some way that you need both

27:51

parties to be available, to

27:53

have proper communication, to do

27:56

this work of growth and, and

27:58

either building or fixing

28:01

a relationship. But

28:03

I also think that forgiveness can

28:06

come from one

28:08

side. I

28:10

can choose to forgive people,

28:14

whether it's my mom or friends

28:16

or whomever on my

28:19

own and on my own terms

28:21

without having the other person involved,

28:23

because forgiveness

28:26

means that I had something

28:28

I was holding on to some sort of a grudge.

28:30

And it's, it's up to me to let that

28:32

grudge go. When

28:39

I'm at the beginning of the movie, the friends were

28:42

like, Hey, let's go. Karaoke thing, blah,

28:44

blah, blah. And then millions like, oh, I can't,

28:46

you know, it's cleaning day. And

28:48

the friends are like, oh, but it's cleaning day every

28:50

day. Now, if we played

28:53

the stereotypical trope, mainland would be

28:55

very upset. Right. She would have wanted

28:57

to go to karaoke. She would have been like, I

28:59

fucking hate chores. Why does my mom force

29:01

me to do this? I hate my mom. I hate my

29:03

life. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right now

29:05

I'm not saying she doesn't have some of those

29:07

feelings because of course she wants to go karaoke

29:10

with her friends, but she also enjoys

29:12

cleaning. She's straight up, said

29:14

it in the movie. She's like, but I like cleaning.

29:16

Yeah. And she

29:17

I like exactly.

29:19

She likes hanging out with her mom

29:21

and she likes doing all those things and, and

29:24

the way that they depicted it in the movie, they're

29:26

having fun. Like. You know,

29:28

it's like such a, a team work

29:30

for them when they are managing the temple

29:32

together. When they're cleaning together, when they're sharing

29:34

stories, when they're, you know, doing their customer service,

29:37

like it's none of that is yes,

29:39

of course it's work, but it's,

29:41

they're not doing it begrudgingly. Right?

29:43

Like they're, they're having a good time

29:46

while doing that. So, so

29:49

I really loved that. They,

29:52

that, that's how they tell the story

29:55

of mainland. And her mom is that

29:57

they don't have this like super

29:59

strained relationship where

30:01

one hates the other and one dominates the

30:03

other. No, it's, it's in

30:05

some way, it's pretty

30:08

healthy. They high-fived each

30:10

other at the end of the

30:12

temple tour. And that was

30:14

so sweet for me because I'm like, I would

30:16

have, my mom was not cool like that

30:18

she would not have

30:21

high-fived me, you know? And,

30:25

and I thought that. Really

30:27

nice. And it made us

30:29

feel like, oh, any negative

30:31

feelings mainland may have about mom

30:34

or just the negative feelings about growing

30:36

up is

30:39

very, is muted and in

30:41

the background. And I think

30:43

that is so realistic because

30:47

a lot of us, I don't think we

30:49

like hate our parents.

30:52

You know, we love them. We do the things

30:54

that we do because we love them. But

30:56

also like we're not oppressed by

30:58

our parents is what I'm trying to say.

31:00

Yeah, we're not, we're not oppressed.

31:02

Like they make us seem to be in

31:04

some movies with the tiger mom trope.

31:07

And they show a vulnerable side to her, which

31:09

they don't with, like tiger

31:11

mom, tropes and other movies.

31:15

And like mainly and enjoys math, right?

31:17

Like she's like having a good time

31:19

doing her math homework, you

31:22

know, like, it's

31:24

not like, oh, my mom forced me to do this.

31:26

And like, I got to be here. Like,

31:29

it just seems like that's part of her life.

31:32

And I'm sure, you know, when,

31:34

when we were in school, there's going to be some

31:36

subjects that you had truly enjoyed

31:39

and maybe they were viewed as like, like,

31:45

oh, you're, you're trying to achieve

31:47

academically for your parents. But no, it's also because

31:49

like, I, I enjoy school.

31:52

yeah,

31:52

I enjoy doing these things. I'm good at

31:54

these things, you know, like,

31:56

Yeah. That was a, that was very relatable for

31:58

me was one her flute case. Cause

32:00

I played

32:01

Oh my God. Yes.

32:05

also I did really well in math

32:07

and French. That

32:10

was very relatable. Yeah. Some was.

32:13

Yeah, not relatable for me, although

32:15

I did play the clarinet,

32:17

Yeah, I know we were in band before

32:20

you went to choir. You

32:22

were at bandwidth for one I one time.

32:25

that is correct. I was at band

32:28

and at one point, yes.

32:30

Okay. Anyway,

32:31

that's, that's just like I wanted, I really

32:33

wanted to point that out that the,

32:35

you know, tiger mom trope was not

32:38

depicted in this movie and it showed

32:41

a way more realistic relationship between

32:44

a mom and daughter.

32:46

yes. Much more

32:48

realistic for us,

32:50

at least I'm sure there are still

32:53

people, whose parents are,

32:55

you know, very trope ESC,

32:59

Oh Yes. I mean, they exist

33:02

for a reason.

33:03

Yes, exactly. The key takeaway

33:05

here is that they gave. the Chinese

33:08

mom, a 3d character,

33:11

sh you know, they gave her an

33:14

arc. They gave her personality

33:17

and she is her

33:19

own person. The mom

33:21

is her own person in this movie.

33:24

exactly. And, and we had kind of talked about

33:26

that earlier, too. Where at this movie? Yes, of

33:28

course. It's centered around Malin. She's

33:30

a protagonist. She goes through this like

33:33

growth and change and then acceptance

33:35

afterwards. But soda's

33:38

mom, mom also went

33:40

through a stage of growth

33:42

and change and acceptance at the end of

33:44

the movie.

33:46

one other thing that I just got

33:48

reminded me of that I really liked is

33:51

that there were no cheesy

33:53

love story or love

33:55

Oh, yes. Oh my God. Oh

33:57

my God. Let's just

33:59

just

33:59

around of applause.

34:01

everything is about boys. Okay. Like

34:03

when we were that age. Yes. A lot of things were about

34:05

boys, but not everything was about boys.

34:07

Okay. Here's the thing like, I, what I

34:09

really liked is the way that they

34:11

did represent boys, because, you

34:14

know, she was like obsessed with that guy from

34:16

the Daisy Mart, Devin. And

34:18

then later in school, she sees this other

34:21

kid, right. And he like

34:23

flips his hair and she's all like Google

34:26

Gaga on it. And,

34:28

and I think just

34:30

that, where she switches so quickly,

34:32

it's like, when you're

34:34

going through puberty, you're going to notice

34:37

boys. And you're going to notice a

34:39

lot of boys and you're going to

34:40

boys, you don't have so many crushes

34:43

and your crush is going to change every three months.

34:46

Like it's going to, your crusher is going to think

34:48

to the moon cycle, you know,

34:49

And I think that I love

34:52

that. That's how they, had boys

34:54

in the movie and they didn't

34:56

develop any romantic story

34:59

at all. And the only time

35:01

that boys show up is how

35:03

she notices different boys at different

35:05

times, but so quickly, because

35:07

that's what happens when you go through puberty,

35:10

you notice these things and you feel

35:12

a lot of things. And like you said,

35:14

there's all these crushes and

35:17

a lot of, a lot of emotions. And

35:19

then you have like sexy thoughts, but then you're

35:21

13, but you

35:23

have sexy thoughts anyways. And I love that. She

35:25

actually said that like, may Lynn, she

35:27

said the word sexy thoughts. And,

35:31

and she was like, huh, like

35:33

why, why am I having me?

35:36

Yeah, I don't want to have them. Yeah. She

35:38

thought it was like a disease.

35:40

And then, you know, When

35:42

she was drawing at one point, she was

35:44

drawing all these pictures of Devin. She

35:47

just like allowed herself

35:49

to see what's going to happen. So she allowed herself

35:51

to explore this new side

35:53

of her. And how was that?

35:55

Is just that's puberty. she's happening

35:58

to me, what the fuck's going on. And then

36:00

she gets to learn from that. Right.

36:01

Yeah. And also the other guy that ended

36:04

up being their friend that was kind of bullying,

36:06

Malin or picking on her, I was

36:08

like, please don't let him turn

36:10

into a love interest. And he didn't.

36:12

And I was like, yes, thank God. Because

36:14

that's also such a trope to, you

36:17

know, like, just cause

36:19

like he bullied you a bit doesn't mean that something

36:21

has to bloom from it. And it's probably not

36:23

very healthy, you

36:24

exactly. It probably shouldn't be dating all your bullies.

36:27

yeah. that's the thing, though. It has been such

36:29

a big trope, oh, like you're off to a

36:31

rough start, but then you end up falling in love and

36:33

that's just not healthy, you know? Yeah,

36:36

no, I love that. I love that he actually became

36:38

one of the girlfriends and he became,

36:41

a fellow for townie, you know?

36:45

Yes. That was one other thing that I think

36:47

they did a really good job. Even though it's

36:50

not my favorite movie it's

36:52

a movie that I can really, really appreciate.

36:57

Yeah. And I think you don't, you don't have

36:59

to be a Chinese Canadian to appreciate this

37:01

movie. You don't even have to be Asian to appreciate

37:04

this movie, right? Because intergenerational

37:07

trauma is everywhere.

37:10

Like there's no racial boundaries

37:12

to that. Growing up, going

37:14

through puberty. is no

37:16

racial boundaries to that. so

37:19

I think, you know, all these, all

37:21

these things will make the movie

37:23

really relatable I

37:25

could probably talk about this a lot, a lot

37:28

more, but I, I won't, but, listeners,

37:31

if you enjoy turning red,

37:34

as much as either

37:36

of us did, but especially as much

37:38

as I did. I want to read, a few

37:42

quotes from the movie that I thought. Pretty

37:45

meaningful.

37:46

okay,

37:47

house. the first one, which is at the beginning

37:49

of the movie, Malin says, I'm

37:51

finally figuring out who I am, but

37:54

I'm scared it's taking me away from

37:56

you. And

37:58

she's talking, she's speaking specifically

38:00

about her mom, which again,

38:03

like we were saying is part of that, being scared

38:05

of change, being scared of growth. And

38:09

when the movie opened with that, I'm like,

38:11

yep. I'm going to like this one. I

38:14

don't know where this one came from, but

38:17

it goes, we all have

38:19

a messy, weird. But

38:22

a lot of us don't let it come out.

38:24

I remember that quote.

38:27

I think it actually represents a lot about what we

38:29

do on this podcast is, is being

38:31

vulnerable and allowing ourselves

38:34

to feel all sides of us and

38:36

giving ourselves the space

38:39

to have

38:42

negative emotions, negative thoughts,

38:44

and, you know, and

38:47

process things, process trauma,

38:50

be uncomfortable, all these like

38:52

things that are typically

38:54

represented as icky or yucky

38:56

that we try to hide away or

38:59

even just the weird parts of us. don't

39:02

want to show other people because we're afraid to be

39:04

judged in our podcast. We

39:07

want to embrace all of those sides and

39:09

we want to welcome

39:11

all of these uncomfortable feelings because only

39:13

then can we truly feel comfortable about

39:16

who we are and our own skin.

39:18

And so that quote really

39:21

solidified the idea that

39:23

this movie is a giant shit

39:25

we don't tell mom episode.

39:27

I remember you saying that to me. And I was like, oh my God.

39:29

Yeah, totally. Cause

39:32

that's, that's what we're here to try to do.

39:34

Right. Talk about these

39:36

things and improve

39:39

the overall collective

39:41

mental health of our community, which is

39:43

what I think that this movie has contributed

39:46

to has really, really given,

39:48

like a big platform to the fact that like,

39:50

Hey, like there

39:53

are people like

39:56

us that are struggling with

39:58

this type of stuff. We're not just your typical

40:00

immigrant, you know, those

40:03

Asians over there. Like we have our own stories

40:05

too. And I really happy that it's

40:07

getting a bigger audience because

40:09

a lot of kids are gonna watch this and

40:11

they're probably not going to be just

40:14

Chinese kids. And then their parents who probably

40:16

never would have watched a movie out

40:18

of their comfort zone, like this would watch

40:20

it too.

40:21

We had such a, emotional

40:24

and We had such a reaction to

40:26

this movie, I think

40:29

not just as quote unquote kids,

40:31

but I think any parent

40:33

would also be able to

40:35

have a reaction for

40:39

the mom and have the compassion and empathy

40:41

and understanding of where the mom's coming from

40:44

as well. out of my 5,000

40:46

quotes, I will end with one that

40:48

was similar to the second one because

40:51

let's, let's be all feel good. See about

40:53

this. And

40:55

this one actually came from the dad and

40:58

the dad said. The

41:03

dad said, people have all kinds

41:05

of sides to them and some are messy.

41:07

The point is not to push it away.

41:11

Yeah, I really love that quote. And I just loved

41:13

that. He showed the video to Malin was like,

41:16

like, I like this version of you. You're

41:19

funny. And

41:23

that, that level of acceptance shows

41:25

a lot of love from her dad. So

41:28

all, all, you know, just a

41:30

lot of good feelings

41:33

so basically the takeaway from this episode

41:35

is go watch turning red

41:37

if you haven't already. But I really,

41:40

truly hope you, you already

41:42

did, because by the end of this episode,

41:45

we just ruined everything for you.

41:48

Oh yeah. That's true. They listen

41:50

to this. They we're like, we

41:52

just told them everything in the movie, but go watch.

41:55

But

41:56

but I hope everybody who has listened

41:58

all the way to the end already

42:00

did watch it. And I hope,

42:02

you know, you would, keep supporting

42:04

the movie by watching it again,

42:06

because we need to continue to have these stories

42:08

being told. Right. And not just, not just

42:11

because of the Asian representation, although that

42:13

felt really good because Angie and I

42:15

are Chinese and we're from Canada

42:17

and this story speaks about a Chinese Canadian girl,

42:19

but also like just, it's more

42:21

demand for different stories that we

42:23

haven't, that we didn't grow up with. Right.

42:26

No matter what, race or religion

42:28

or sexuality or whatever, whatever

42:31

time period as well, like we need to

42:33

have more stories that

42:36

weren't told as much.

42:38

yeah, yeah. That's right.

42:41

And that's it for season three.

42:43

Yeah. Oh my goodness. That's

42:46

it for season three. we hope you

42:48

enjoyed the season and

42:51

as always send us a

42:53

Instagram message or an email, or

42:57

leave us an audio message. You

42:59

can check that out on our website and

43:01

we'd love to hear what you would like to

43:03

hear more of in season four.

43:06

also Spotify. You can

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43:11

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43:38

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43:40

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43:43

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43:45

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43:47

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43:50

we will see you in season four.

43:53

Bye.

43:53

See you, like they can see us.

43:57

We'll see you metaphorically

44:00

in

44:00

We will be in your ears

44:02

in season four. Somebody

44:37

bind you.

44:40

Oh, oh my God.

44:42

You scared me. Okay. It's just

44:44

Evie.