0:26

Hello Internet, I'm your husband hosted

0:28

Travis McRoy. And I'm your wife host Teresa

0:31

McElroy. And you're listening to Schmanners. It's

0:33

extraordinary etiquette. For ordinary occasions. Hello

0:35

my dove. Hello dear. How

0:37

are you? You woke up

0:40

with a little crick in your neck. Crick in my neck. Well,

0:42

it happens. It's a medical term I believe. Yeah,

0:47

weather. I'll work it out. Oldness,

0:49

weather, bedtime

0:52

backflips. I don't know. No,

0:54

no backflips. You

0:58

didn't grow up with cable, but did you ever

1:00

see the commercial where the guy

1:03

goes to sleep and while he's asleep,

1:05

the gorilla comes in and like basically flips him

1:07

all around the bed and like rubs his head.

1:09

And it's to explain like how you get bed

1:11

head. And like

1:13

the gorilla's just standing there just flipping the guy

1:15

around and he wakes up and it's here standing

1:17

all over the place. You ever see that? Nope.

1:20

Maybe that happened. I saw the one where

1:22

they put the wine glass on the bed and they

1:25

jump around it. That's not nearly as good as

1:27

the gorilla flipping the guy around or

1:30

the one for Orbits where she calls them a

1:32

cootie queen and a lant liquor. Oh yes. That

1:35

one's great. That's a good one. And IDK

1:37

might be a fifth Jill. It's a good one. We

1:39

got a baby. It's a boy. Anyways, welcome

1:41

to Shranters. How did I miss that gorilla one? I don't

1:44

know. How did you miss the gorilla one? So

1:46

I'm excited to talk about this episode. Yes, it

1:49

was your idea. It was my idea. That's one

1:51

reason. Two other reasons. I

1:54

know that your favorite Disney animated movie is Sword

1:56

in the Stone. Yeah. Well, I

1:59

mean, OK, yes. Yes,

2:01

it is. Followed very

2:03

closely by Sleeping Beauty, which

2:05

is also a medieval time period. Sure,

2:07

sure, sure, sure, sure. But

2:10

I don't feel like you had to think you

2:12

could have... My favorite princess movie. Let's divide it

2:14

into... Okay, let's do this. Let's divide

2:16

it into regular and then princess movies.

2:18

Favorite princess movie, Sleeping Beauty. It's

2:20

beautiful. Yes. Favorite regular

2:23

Disney movie, Sword in the

2:25

Stone. Okay. Okay.

2:27

I've got to update my

2:29

ledger. But the third reason

2:31

is, this is... So we're

2:34

talking about nights, right? Like what it was

2:36

really like a day

2:38

and a night. And that's

2:40

it. Okay. And the thing is,

2:42

this is one of those categories. You

2:44

know that thing went around and was like, guys think about the

2:47

Roman Empire a lot, right? Oh, yeah,

2:49

yeah, I remember that. Oh, yeah, it was like

2:51

a month ago. And... More

2:53

than a month ago. Sure.

2:55

And that's true. But

2:57

I would say for me, like there are certain

2:59

time periods and categories where I think, could I

3:02

have done that? Would I have done well? Would

3:04

I... If I... I think there's a part of

3:06

me every day that thinks

3:09

if I was alive at a time where like

3:11

all it took to be a king was like

3:13

a piece of paper that you forged that said

3:15

you were like distantly related to the royal line.

3:18

And the ability to convince people like, hey, come with

3:20

me. Let's get that guy out of there and put

3:22

me in there. I think I would have done well.

3:25

Okay. I'm not saying I might have been king, but

3:27

I would have been a really good sidekick to

3:29

somebody who wanted to be king where I'm going,

3:32

yeah, it sounds good, man. We'll do that. So

3:34

let's talk about knights. Okay. They

3:36

started in 1950. No.

3:40

Quick shout out. If there are any

3:42

other historical jobs that you'd like us

3:44

to do a deep dive on, email

3:47

[email protected] because we've already

3:50

done Victorian Maid. Correct.

3:53

An old-timey doctor and

3:55

garden hermit. Yeah. We also did

3:57

one of my favorite episodes was the... It

4:00

was like the ball where we did the Debbie

4:02

Tons ball, right? I really liked that one. We

4:04

did Puritan Christmas. Yeah. Any kind

4:06

of deep dive into a very specific event or person,

4:08

let us know. Okay. So

4:11

we need to go

4:13

through what we think of versus

4:16

what we know. Well,

4:19

are you lucky because I've seen a night sale,

4:21

I've seen a sword and a stone. I've

4:23

seen probably a lot

4:26

more, Camelot, Spamalot,

4:29

Jam-a-lot. Not any python. Oh,

4:32

Jam-a-lot is one I made up, but it's a store

4:34

where they only sell jam. No

4:36

jelly. You have to have

4:38

jelly. Oh, wow. So a night. Well,

4:41

okay. So no, here's the thing. A lot

4:44

of what we think of is

4:46

Hollywood movies, not actual

4:49

historical references.

4:52

Yeah. In fact, a lot of

4:54

what we think of was actually made up at

4:57

the time of medieval nights. Well,

5:00

yes. Because what they were

5:02

doing was not what we think they were

5:04

doing. Well, I actually, can I say, say what

5:07

you will about a night sale and what you

5:09

will say is that it's an amazing movie. But

5:13

you have the Chaucer character who's

5:15

just like, yeah, let me make

5:17

up this dude's whole backstory and

5:20

intro about all

5:22

the amazing things he's done and how good a night

5:24

is and all this stuff. And it's like, this guy

5:26

wants money. This guy, at first,

5:28

he's doing it for money. So in

5:31

a night sale, in the beginning. That's

5:34

not what this episode is about. Oh,

5:36

right, okay. This isn't a recap

5:39

of night's sale. Okay, so here

5:42

are a couple of myths we need to

5:44

go through. Nights were

5:47

not the people's champion,

5:49

okay? They were

5:52

management. So

5:55

nights swore allegiance to wealthy lords

5:57

in exchange for land and power.

6:00

in return for these huge tracts

6:02

of land, knights would keep

6:04

the peasants in line in

6:07

any means necessary. They were

6:10

cops. Kind of. Okay.

6:13

They were kind of hired

6:16

thugs. Okay. Because

6:18

this quote, Code of Chivalry, that we've

6:21

talked a little bit about, right? Yeah.

6:24

It's as in the fantasy

6:27

of chivalry. The

6:29

amorphous fantasy of chivalry? We were

6:31

kind of like, go

6:33

listen to that episode. There's a lot

6:35

to unpack. Well, I think in

6:38

all seriousness for a moment, if I may send

6:40

jokes out of the room, when

6:42

I talk about like, men think

6:45

about the Roman Empire and knights and

6:47

cowboys and pirates and stuff, right? I

6:49

think it falls into that thing that's

6:52

kind of made up nostalgia people do a

6:54

lot, where they're like, it

6:56

used to be better when I was a kid, right? Or

6:58

like, I wish we could get back to how great it

7:00

was in name time period that

7:03

they didn't live in. Yeah. Because

7:05

I think, especially

7:07

when it comes to it being

7:11

misogyny, it tracks back

7:13

to like this time when men were men,

7:15

right? And that kind of

7:17

weird concept, that toxic masculine, women were women

7:19

and men were in charge. And dogs were

7:21

dogs. Dogs were dogs and that tree, that's

7:24

a tree. And that lake

7:26

has a lady in it. And I think it's this

7:29

thing of a

7:32

fantasy nature that

7:35

we try to treat as a reality,

7:37

whereas it's like, no, no, no. This

7:40

isn't like dragons and stuff. This really

7:42

happens. And in

7:44

fact, like this code of chivalry, episode

7:46

202, if you're interested, really

7:49

was made up kind of as it

7:53

was happening. Propaganda. As propaganda,

7:56

right. The idea

7:58

that knights were women. were

8:00

like they had some kind of

8:03

code, was

8:05

made up to make the knights who didn't

8:07

really have a code look better. Well,

8:09

because it really sells that idea of

8:11

like, of course you should listen to

8:13

them, of course they're in charge, they're

8:16

inherently better than you. They

8:19

live by a code, they're not

8:22

just like status better

8:25

than you, but like as people.

8:28

If we're gonna go completely literally,

8:31

chival is a

8:33

play on the French word cheval, which

8:35

means horse. Yeah, it's a horse rider. So it's more

8:37

about don't fall off your horse. Don't fall off your

8:39

horse, feed your horse. Take care of that horse. Take

8:41

care of that horse. It's hard

8:44

to replace a horse back in the day. They

8:46

wear the cars of their day. Horse,

8:51

the pre-car. A pre-car? It was a car

8:53

before a car. Sorry,

8:55

I put the car before the horse. So

8:59

there is a medieval historian who

9:02

says, in the early Middle

9:04

Ages, church councils were praying to

9:07

be delivered from the nights. That's

9:10

when the chivalry kind

9:12

of like came in where they were like, maybe

9:14

if we tell everyone the nights are supposed to

9:16

be good, the nights will believe that they're good.

9:19

Well, it was also like tax collectors,

9:22

right? Because like the sheriff of Nottingham

9:24

is this kind of deal, right? Of

9:26

like they

9:28

weren't really like there to protect anybody

9:30

or take care of anybody. One

9:32

of the reasons I think the churches were like,

9:34

oh boy, is because nights would show up to

9:37

churches and be like, hey, money please. Yeah,

9:40

again, the whole chivalry thing is

9:42

pretty vague. It's got a

9:44

couple of like, I guess pillars of

9:47

things like be kind to

9:49

women and respectful of nobility. Maybe

9:52

it's a 10 church every day

9:54

or maybe it's, I

9:56

don't know, fight till the death. I'm not

9:59

sure. Okay, so

10:01

if you were a knight, you were probably

10:04

a rich kid already. Okay. All

10:06

right? There's

10:09

not really any historical basis

10:12

for the scrappy young man

10:14

who comes from nothing and becomes a noble

10:16

knight because he's so honest and brave and

10:18

true. Yeah, I mean even in a

10:20

nice tale, they kind of had to lie.

10:22

Yeah. They definitely had to lie. Or

10:24

you could pull a sword from a stone. Also

10:27

a lie, but great. Great

10:30

idea. So knights

10:32

were almost always born into nobility. There

10:34

was some kind of like noble line

10:37

moving through that because you

10:39

needed the cash, right? You

10:42

had to acquire all your own armor

10:44

and weapons and horses and have some

10:46

place to keep them. And people.

10:49

And people. Because like you couldn't put

10:51

on your own armor, you couldn't get on your

10:53

own horse, you couldn't pick up your own lands

10:55

when you're on the horse and wearing the armor.

10:57

And you wanted somebody else to like knock

10:59

the dings out of your armor and sharpen your sword

11:02

and feed your horse and clean your house. You had

11:04

to have a staff. Yes.

11:07

So all of this stuff means

11:11

that if you were

11:14

destined to become a knight, there were

11:16

several increments of training that you had

11:19

to go through. They were usually about

11:21

seven year periods. This

11:23

is when you were a page. Oh, I'll

11:25

get to that. So

11:28

first you would stay home in the care of

11:30

your family for the first seven years. People

11:35

would teach you basic

11:37

etiquette and maybe even

11:40

some like reading or writing, but that also

11:42

comes a little later. Most

11:46

knights, like you said, started as pages for

11:48

their local lords. So a page

11:50

was a servant to a lord or nobleman or

11:52

even another knight. And

11:56

it was kind of

11:58

a prestige servant. gig. So

12:03

you had normal kind of servant duties,

12:05

which is why in the sword and the stone

12:07

he does a lot of dishwashing. But

12:11

it was also agreed that you'd be taught

12:13

to do things like hunt again, he does

12:15

that in sword and the stone, right? Or

12:19

care for horses. And

12:21

like I said, you might be taught to read

12:24

or write at this point in your training. And

12:27

then once you got a little older,

12:29

in those next seven years up to like 14 years

12:32

old, you'd be taught to ride

12:35

and you would be taught like basic

12:37

combat techniques, usually like with wooden swords

12:39

and stuff like that. And then

12:42

once you turned 14, you

12:44

would graduate from page to squire again

12:46

in sword and the stone, he's really

12:48

excited when he becomes Sir K squire.

12:51

And Merlin creates some beef. It

12:54

does Merlin's like what I was doing a

12:56

better job with you and he's a thug.

12:58

Yeah. And it

13:00

was kind of a prestigious thing. Luckily,

13:02

or perhaps his fate would have

13:05

it, there was a sword and

13:07

the stone. So the promotion of

13:09

the squire is like

13:11

kind of, it

13:14

streamlines your duties. So

13:16

you don't have those like normal servanty things

13:19

anymore like dishes, for example.

13:22

You were considered a formal knight in

13:24

training. And you'd be

13:27

assigned to an established

13:29

knight to shadow. So,

13:32

you know, no more dusting and

13:34

emptying chamber pots for you. Now you

13:36

were in charge of the upkeep of

13:38

your knight's armor, as well

13:40

as accompanying them into battle by

13:43

carrying supplies and banners and things.

13:46

Sure. It was also an

13:49

exciting promotion, because now when you practice

13:51

fighting, you got to use real weapons

13:54

and you had a little bit of

13:56

your own armor because you weren't expected

13:58

to march into battle. completely

14:00

uncovered. Yeah, that'd be wild. That would

14:02

be wild. And- Are we

14:05

gonna talk about jousting? A little bit, yeah.

14:07

It was expected that you would look

14:10

out for your night and he also would

14:12

look out for you. By

14:15

doing this, he would teach you

14:17

things like riding and swimming and

14:19

fencing and archery and wrestling and

14:21

weapons and dancing.

14:24

Now all of this, I

14:26

think, as I'm hearing it, I

14:28

think should be, we should

14:30

add the word ideally. Yes, ideally.

14:33

Right, because there's definitely where I would say,

14:38

a position of privilege

14:41

where the main thing was, you needed to

14:43

be rich, kind

14:46

of gives me the idea that

14:49

maybe not everybody was going into

14:51

knighthood for, to steal a phrase,

14:53

the right read. Yeah.

14:57

Yeah, that's true. Okay. Although

15:00

I would watch Who Wants

15:02

to Be a Night, a reality show where

15:05

in the end they get knighted by

15:07

like an actual like

15:09

country ruler. I would watch

15:11

that show so- I know you would. Hard,

15:13

are you kidding me? Speaking of

15:16

knighting, once you turned 21, you

15:19

were officially eligible- To drink. To become

15:21

a knight. Oh. No, you could drink

15:23

way before that. This is the middle ages, babes. All

15:25

right. And

15:28

it's called an accolade. That's

15:30

what the ceremony is called. And

15:33

it would usually take place during a

15:35

festival like Christmas or Easter. Right? Okay.

15:38

And then you would take, so in

15:40

order to become a knight in your

15:42

accolade here, you would take a

15:44

ritual bath, followed by

15:46

an entire knight of prayer. Okay.

15:50

Yeah, the whole knight you were supposed to pray.

15:52

Wow, I'm tracking that. Your

15:54

knight maybe is watching you. Are you allowed to see? He's

15:56

not gonna stay. Oh, are you kidding me? You don't know that.

15:59

Is that a drunkard? That's what I see. So

16:01

in the morning, the squire would kneel, swearing

16:03

his loyalty to the Lord or King or

16:05

whoever that he served, and then they

16:08

would complete the ceremony by tapping each

16:10

shoulder with the ceremonial sword. We see

16:12

that in movies. And

16:14

that part is pretty accurate.

16:17

The squire knelt in

16:20

the beginning, but then he would rise as

16:22

a knight, right? Yes.

16:25

And that's when your official thug

16:27

duties began. Okay, we're going

16:29

to talk more about that, but first, how about

16:31

a word from another MaxFun show? Alright. MaxFunDrive

16:46

2024. MaxFunDrive?

16:50

What about it? It'll

16:52

be the best time for someone to support the podcasts

16:55

they love. Oh

16:57

yeah, drive exclusive gifts, special events, and

16:59

of course all the amazing bonus

17:01

content. Bonus content, yeah. So

17:04

what's on your mind? Check.

17:07

It starts March 18th and it's only two weeks

17:09

long. And check.

17:13

Well, what if they miss it? Well,

17:16

they should follow MaxFun on social media

17:19

or sign up for the newsletter at maximumfun.org

17:22

slash newsletter so they don't miss it.

17:25

Otherwise, checkmate. Who

17:31

guests on Jordan and Jesse Go? I

17:33

mean, we could just list Patton Oswalt,

17:35

Kumail Najani, Maria Bamford, whatever. We couldn't

17:37

remember all of them. So we

17:39

asked my kids. Famous

17:42

people? How famous? I

17:44

don't know, pretty famous. Ahhhh.

17:49

Ahhhh. Really tiny celebrities who

17:51

would go on this train

17:54

wreck instead of a big talk show. There's

17:57

just a bunch of people on your show. Jordan

18:07

Jesse Gull, a comedy show for grown-ups.

18:13

All right. Okay. All

18:16

right. Okay. All right. So

18:18

duties. Duties. Let's talk

18:20

about duties, duties, duties. You were expected

18:22

to fight in any military campaigns backed by

18:24

your boss. Okay. So

18:27

again, you were hired muscle.

18:30

You were also expected to show

18:33

bravery, whatever that meant

18:35

at the time, and to keep your noble

18:37

in... No retreat. ...land

18:39

in check. So

18:43

if the times were peaceful and

18:45

everyone was as subservient as

18:47

expected, maybe you might

18:50

partake in a tournament. I

18:54

mean, you've basically woven a

18:56

knight's tail throughout this entire

18:58

episode. And the tournament

19:00

in that movie is pretty accurate.

19:03

Yeah. I mean, it's not that

19:05

far. We see this repeated throughout

19:07

history, whether it's like the Coliseum

19:09

or like rodeos, right? Anytime where

19:11

it's just like entertainment helps

19:14

keep people happy, happy

19:16

people are more willing to pay

19:18

taxes and not overthrow the leader

19:21

and not stage any kind of

19:24

revolt, right? If you're like, hey, check

19:26

it out. Hey, okay. Yeah.

19:29

I know I'm not a great leader, but tournament.

19:32

This is cool. Another

19:36

reason, and this is where you and I

19:38

differ because my research is... I heard somebody

19:40

talk about this one, so I'm pretty confident

19:42

I remember it. But I'm

19:44

pretty certain as we talk about training and stuff

19:47

and jousting, it is where we

19:49

get carousels

19:51

from because they would have

19:53

a horse rotating around with

19:56

the rider and you would be on

19:58

it and they would spin you around.

20:00

and that's where you would aim for the ring, right?

20:02

Or you would aim for another horse. Because they didn't

20:04

want to risk a horse getting hurt. Because

20:07

as we said, horses

20:09

were very hard to come

20:11

by, right? There wasn't just like, go to the horse store and

20:13

pick one up. They were expensive

20:15

and important. And so

20:18

you would get a wooden horse that was

20:20

on a big long arm, and they would

20:22

spin the arm around, and you would aim,

20:24

right? And so then they made that into

20:26

a ride for kids, and

20:28

that's how we got the horses

20:30

circling around. And then you'd grab

20:32

the ring and stuff like that.

20:34

So drowsing practice led to merry-go-round.

20:37

We may have recommended this, but there

20:39

is a merry-go-round museum in Sandusky, Ohio.

20:41

I hope it's still there. I mean, we haven't- I think

20:43

it's still there. They have an

20:45

original merry-go-round from,

20:48

I can't remember when, the 19- Old

20:50

times. Old times. At least 80 years ago.

20:53

And it goes so fast. I really recommend it. We looked

20:55

at it after, we talked about this, we remember it going

20:57

80 miles an hour by the end, and it's like 15.

21:00

Still fast. Still fast. Still fast, but

21:02

we remember it, like, whoa, the world's

21:04

a blur. It

21:07

felt really fast. Okay, so

21:10

these tournaments were known as hassleudes.

21:13

Okay. Okay. And

21:15

that means there

21:18

were several events within. We've got

21:20

the melee, right? Which is the free-for-all

21:22

fight. Which

21:24

you could do either on foot or on

21:27

horseback. There's the tupin air, which

21:29

is a duel, a little

21:31

bit like fencing, where you

21:33

get certain points for hitting certain spots for

21:36

the body. And then, the joust.

21:39

Yeah. This

21:44

became the most wildly popular

21:46

event, and was

21:48

also probably the most dangerous.

21:51

Yeah. Because

21:53

human and horse riding

21:55

at each other, trying to knock each

21:57

other off the horse, can result in...

22:00

in a lot of damage to

22:02

human and horse. Yeah. Well,

22:05

especially when you talk about like,

22:08

the point was not just

22:11

like, oh, I ride by and I poked your

22:13

face, or like with my finger or whatever, which

22:15

I'll survive it would have been pretty dangerous, but

22:17

more of like, I'm coming at you with this

22:19

giant wooden spear, and

22:21

when it broke, it's more dangerous than

22:23

it was before. Yeah. Right?

22:26

And the idea of like, oh, they intend to try

22:28

to knock you off, right? There's just so many things

22:30

that could go wrong, but just

22:33

like, coliseum, just like

22:36

a lot of things, fair history, that was

22:38

part of it, right? Like,

22:40

if you think about it, listen, we ain't that

22:42

much better. Football is not that far off from

22:44

like, what a big hit, and we hate when

22:46

someone gets hurt. The difference is now, at least

22:48

we pretend to hate when someone gets hurt, I

22:50

do. Like, football is not that far

22:52

off as far as like, or organized sports

22:55

in general, I would say. Organized sports, yeah.

22:57

Right, but football, I would say, has this

22:59

like, violence element to it, or like, hockey,

23:01

when it's like, yay, a fight, right? Like,

23:03

this idea, we're not that far beyond that,

23:05

you know? But not every day

23:07

is tournament day. I've always had

23:09

that. That's one of my, like,

23:11

you know, Sundays. And hopefully, you won't always

23:14

be going to war. So

23:17

if you're a knight, who's just, you know, kicking

23:19

it on your noble land, here's

23:21

what your life might be like.

23:23

A typical schedule for rich kid,

23:25

turned servant, turned personal warrior.

23:29

Let's say, you wake up tomorrow, and you're

23:32

in the middle ages, and you're- You're feeling like P

23:34

Diddy. Respectful, respected

23:36

knight, named Sir

23:38

Fancy Pants. Okay,

23:42

that's not what I would have chosen. What would

23:44

you have chosen? I mean, probably like Sir Travis

23:46

or something, but like, Sir, uh, Sir

23:50

Thunder, Sir Lightning. Okay.

23:52

Sir Thunder Lightning. Sir Thunder Lightning.

23:55

You probably have a stately manor

23:57

house on your noble men's land.

24:00

He pays you well to keep things

24:02

orderly And

24:04

while not all nights would marry Maybe

24:07

you have And so your

24:10

wife is also there The

24:13

home possibly the wife was gifted

24:15

to you by the Lord you

24:17

serve and you share it with your

24:19

servants You

24:22

may have children as kind of

24:25

like continuing your line sure Well,

24:29

we'll talk another time on how many

24:31

children are expected to to

24:34

survive so

24:37

Now that you're awake first thing you

24:39

do church Okay,

24:42

yep. Yep got to go to church

24:45

which would probably be pretty close to you

24:48

So you wouldn't have to go very far. You might

24:50

even if you're if you are very Favored

24:54

have your own chaplain and

24:57

chapel in your house ideal

24:59

ideal so

25:02

then You would do

25:04

your prayers. This is about dawn by

25:06

the way You would do your

25:08

prayers and then come back for breakfast Which

25:11

would usually once again we talked about this

25:14

last episode before breakfast before

25:16

church Don't make me why

25:18

am I going to turn hungry? I know a

25:20

terrible idea So

25:22

you it happens a lot

25:25

especially in cause I'm like restraint

25:28

and stuff and like fasting and all

25:30

this stuff I Why

25:34

doesn't God want you to be happy

25:36

go on anyway so

25:39

breakfast is usually bread and Dried

25:42

fruits or meats something like that's not that

25:44

far off from what I eat now sure

25:47

yeah and mead Well,

25:50

it's healthier than water at this point. Yes.

25:52

Oh sure at this point Yeah, and you're

25:55

well off so you can afford to butter

25:58

and maybe cheese What is? day.

26:00

And so you

26:03

would then after you've

26:05

broken the bread you would break away from your

26:07

wife and your wife would go and do

26:09

their daily duties and then you would go

26:12

and do your daily duties. Okay.

26:14

So after breakfast, weapons

26:16

practice, you have all that

26:18

energy from eating, right? Great.

26:20

This could be educating

26:22

your page or your squire, dueling

26:26

with you know wooden swords or blunted

26:28

weapons and then you might

26:30

have time to work on your own

26:32

skills like target practice with

26:35

maybe archery or

26:38

accounting, typing. No,

26:40

no but you could use, there are a

26:43

couple of like dummies that you would use

26:45

at the time. This is part of your

26:47

equipment, right? Called a PEL which

26:49

is kind of like a medieval punching

26:51

bag. Sure. Right? So it was meant

26:53

to be hit with the full strength

26:55

so you could measure your accuracy

26:58

and the force of your blows. Sure.

27:01

You might also practice with a tree or

27:04

a dummy set up to

27:06

look kind of like a person. Sure. Right?

27:10

So after this kind of physical

27:12

practice then you would do study

27:14

of strategy. Maybe

27:17

update yourself on any potential

27:20

threats that you might need to quell. But

27:24

if times remain peaceful, this is a great time

27:27

for you to train for tournament. Take a

27:29

nap? No, probably

27:31

not. Oh man.

27:33

And then you would pray again and then

27:37

eat lunch. Okay. Which is

27:40

probably a lot like your breakfast. Okay.

27:43

Yeah. Turkey wrap with

27:45

some mustard. Cherry

27:49

tomatoes because you got to eat something.

27:51

In the afternoon, this was reserved

27:54

for quote softer skills such

27:57

as dance. Crochet.

28:00

Well, anything. No, but

28:02

business times, right? This is might

28:04

be when you might be asked

28:07

to call upon your lord to

28:10

see if there's anything that they need from

28:12

you. Hey, bud, you need

28:15

anything? You

28:17

might you might accompany them

28:20

hunting or hawking or

28:22

inspecting their land for

28:25

rowdy peasants. OK,

28:28

and that was probably the biggest

28:30

activity of your day during peacetime

28:32

was kind of just making your

28:34

rounds, making your

28:37

presence known because

28:39

as management, you

28:41

were expected to deal with anything that

28:44

might arise on the day. Hey,

28:46

peasants. Yeah, so I'm going to need you

28:48

to come in and work on Saturday. Supper

28:54

might actually be a grander affair

28:58

either at your manor

29:00

house or you

29:02

could go to the castle hall

29:04

with your boss. And

29:07

of course, you know, you got to pray before

29:10

before you eat. But

29:12

after prayers and supper, which

29:14

probably was like roasted

29:17

meat. Nice. Maybe

29:19

vegetables, depending upon the time period.

29:24

And, you know, wine. Sure,

29:26

I've heard of it. Yeah. So

29:29

after that, there could be

29:31

entertainment. Movies. No.

29:35

Music. I've heard of that. Yeah. And sing. OK,

29:37

this is why I need to know how to

29:39

do that. Yeah. Yeah. Jugglers, acrobats, jesters,

29:41

things like that. Right. And this didn't

29:44

happen every single time. But usually a

29:47

king or a lord would keep somebody

29:49

who knew how to do kind of

29:51

these things. Can I say as much

29:54

as in my younger days, I was

29:57

like, I think I'd be a knight. I'd

29:59

be a judge. Yep, totally. Oh my god. You

30:03

could have given it like yeah.

30:05

Well, here's the thing. I think

30:08

that while you would have made

30:10

an okay night, you would make

30:12

an excellent jester. Why squander your

30:14

gifts? That's what I'm saying. A

30:16

jester or a herald.

30:18

I think I'd be a great herald too. Like

30:20

hey everybody. Bad news.

30:22

I'm not saying this. This isn't coming

30:24

from me. Don't shoot

30:27

the Travis. But doubling

30:29

taxes. Okay, bye! Yeah.

30:33

Yeah, so that sounds

30:35

like a pretty typical day,

30:38

right? Lots of praying. Lots

30:41

of busy work. Well,

30:43

you had to keep up appearances. But

30:45

this is what I'm saying is like I think

30:47

that... And

30:50

your wife would probably also be

30:52

continuing to keep up appearances by giving

30:54

alms to the poor. You know, wrapping

30:57

up the leavings from your breakfast or whatever

30:59

and giving it to the peasants on the street. But

31:02

I think that when people think

31:04

about nights, right? They picture like

31:07

riding off on missions and slaying

31:10

dragons and posing dramatically atop their

31:12

horse on a windswept bluff or

31:14

what have you. Right? And

31:17

this just sounds like, yeah, wake up, train,

31:19

do stuff,

31:22

do this, check on things,

31:24

talk to this person, practice

31:26

this, train, have some dinner, maybe

31:29

watch somebody tell a joke or two, go

31:31

to bed. Yeah. And it's

31:33

like, yeah, it's not adventure. This was a

31:35

job. Right? And you

31:37

were compensated well for your job. And

31:40

some people took this job a

31:42

little more seriously than others, for

31:44

sure. Right? That's

31:46

when we talked about earlier how like the

31:48

code of chivalry was kind of like made

31:51

up at the time to try and

31:54

maybe make people think that

31:56

nights were better, maybe think that make the

31:58

nights think that they should do it. do

32:00

better. Right? Because the

32:02

very least inspire like try to inspire I

32:05

guess like those young rich kids who are

32:07

going to be nice of like and

32:10

it's not just about the position look

32:12

at the glory of it. Yeah

32:14

I wouldn't say that this was a cushy job because

32:16

in the middle ages there's no such thing as a

32:19

cushy job. No. But

32:21

it is kind of

32:24

like I said it's

32:26

steady you had to keep but you did have

32:28

to do a few things. You had to keep

32:30

in shape if you were going to keep the

32:32

peasants in check. Right? You had to know what

32:34

you were doing and be kind of like ferocious

32:36

about it. Yeah. But

32:39

you were still beholden to somebody

32:42

who basically gave you everything

32:44

you have. Well that's the other thing

32:46

right when we talk about when we

32:48

when you think about like how and

32:50

no we're meant like you swore fealty

32:52

to this dude who if that dude

32:54

was like hey these peasants are getting

32:56

real uprising if you could go in

32:58

and just like kill 50 of

33:01

them that would be awesome and

33:03

if you were like well I don't want to do

33:05

that they're like okay cool you're in prison now and

33:07

I'm gonna give someone else all your stuff cuz they'll

33:10

do it. Yeah. Not

33:12

ideal. That part's not ideal. I like

33:14

the roast meat part. Oh yeah. And

33:16

I have had some wine with the

33:19

Lord and having a house. Not wild

33:21

about the part where I'm doing kind

33:23

of Lord imposed

33:26

violence. Yeah. And corruption. Not wild.

33:28

That part doesn't get me.

33:30

I want to be the people's

33:33

knight. I want to be the

33:35

people. Who gives me my authority? The

33:37

people do. That would be great. But.

33:40

The best way is fantasy. I don't need that

33:42

to be respected by the

33:44

Lord. That's kind of the point. They

33:47

don't have to acknowledge it. The people do.

33:50

Wait I'm thinking of the Rock. The Rock

33:52

is the people's knight. Now that I think

33:54

about it Dwayne the Rock Johnson is the

33:56

people's champion. Okay okay you know what that

33:59

position is taking. I would love to be

34:01

a gesture for The Rock. I would take that job

34:03

any day. No, Kevin Hart has that job. Gah!

34:07

Every good job is taken. Hey

34:11

everybody, thank you so much for

34:13

listening. This is a very fun

34:15

episode. Thank you to myself for having the idea.

34:18

Thank you. Sorry, excuse me.

34:20

What was that? Thank

34:22

you to Alex, a writer and researcher. I was

34:24

about to say that. Thank you to

34:27

Alex, our writer and researcher. Without you, we couldn't make

34:29

this show. Thank you to Rachel, our editor, without whom

34:31

we couldn't make this show. Thank you to you for

34:33

listening. I'm your champion. I

34:35

do it all for you, no

34:37

matter what Teresa says. It's

34:40

a new month, which means new merch over at macroymurch.com, so

34:43

if you haven't checked it out, go over there and do

34:45

that. We're

34:47

doing some live shows in Chicago

34:50

in April, doing My Brother, My Brother Me

34:52

and the Adventure Zone, as well as appearing at C2E2. You

34:55

can go to Macroy.family for all the info

34:57

there. What else Teresa? We always

34:59

thank Brent, BentoFlossBlack for writing our theme

35:02

music, which is available as a ringtone,

35:04

where those are found. Also, thank you

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to Bruja Betty Pinup Photography for the

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35:10

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35:17

As always, please continue to

35:19

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35:22

jobs. Yeah. We'll add that

35:24

in. Ineums, questions. Have we

35:27

ever done a biography on Marianne's

35:29

one yet? I think

35:31

that would be really interesting. To

35:34

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35:36

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35:38

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