0:01

Hello Internet!

0:28

I'm your husband, host Travis McElroy. And I'm

0:30

your wife, host Teresa McElroy. And you're listening to

0:32

Shmanners. It's extraordinary etiquette. For ordinary

0:34

occasions. Hello, my dove. Hello, dear. I

0:37

love you. Happy Valentine's Day.

0:39

Oh, what? It's a Valentine's Day? I was just saying,

0:41

I love you, because that's how

0:44

I begin every morning. I wake up from a

0:46

complete sleep, and I go, I love

0:48

you. Well,

0:51

today is Valentine's Day. Our

0:53

listeners will be listening to this a few

0:56

days after. But. Yes. And

0:58

Valentine's Day twice removed. Yes. I'm going

1:01

to call it. And, well,

1:03

there's the Easter candy day on the

1:05

shelves. Can I tell you, I'm old

1:07

curmudgeon now. Oh, no. As you know,

1:09

I'm, you're never going to believe this,

1:12

40 years old. Do

1:14

you remember, I feel like, everybody talks about

1:16

Christmas creep, and Christmas starts earlier. And I

1:18

don't care about that. What I do care

1:21

about is one of mine and Teresa's favorite

1:23

things to do, early days, early days. So

1:26

Teresa and I had our first official day

1:28

on February 13th, right,

1:30

day before Valentine's Day. Because I thought it'd be

1:33

weird to have our first official day on Valentine's

1:35

Day. I don't know what the, but

1:37

then, as if saying, but no,

1:39

you don't understand, it's 12 hours

1:41

before that day. So it's fun. When you're

1:43

young, these things matter. I told

1:45

Bebe that yesterday, side note. I said, yeah, I

1:47

had our first real day on Valentine's Day. She

1:49

goes, oh, so you had like a fake day

1:51

before that? And she thought she was joking. And

1:54

I was like, oh, yeah, baby, I did. Actually, yes.

1:57

I was very nervous asking your mommy on a

1:59

date. So I tried to make it seem like a

2:01

good friend date, but she was the first person I asked and

2:03

the only other person I could get to go was Uncle

2:05

Griffin. So my real first, I guess,

2:08

or my fake first date with your mom

2:10

was with Griffin. But one

2:13

of our favorite things to do- We all love this

2:15

story, by the way. Griffin told it at the wedding.

2:17

Yeah, it's true, it is true.

2:20

And he was like, it's gonna be weird. And I was like, it's

2:22

not gonna be weird. And it was weird. It was weird. We had

2:24

a great time, it was wonderful. Because when

2:26

you marry me, you basically marry

2:28

my whole family. But

2:31

one of our favorite things to do- There it is.

2:33

Used to be like the day after a major holiday,

2:36

a major candy holiday, was go

2:38

and start hitting up those 50% off, sometimes 75%

2:40

off candy shelves, right? They're

2:43

almost giving them away. Because they're

2:45

like, oh, you don't understand. Now that

2:48

the love's gone, the candy's not good

2:50

anymore or whatever. But now

2:53

they start clearing the shelves. I don't know if it's like, okay,

2:55

11.59, boom, clean it. Because

2:58

you come in the next day, and there's like two

3:00

feet of shelves with candy on it. And I-

3:02

I don't know, man. I think

3:04

they've wised up. Because

3:07

I know from my olden

3:09

days of working best buy, that you

3:11

would then ship that stuff back, right?

3:13

As unsold product or whatever, and get

3:15

money back on it. Or whatever

3:18

the case may be. There might be

3:20

some flowers left. I don't think you can ship flowers.

3:22

I don't eat flowers. Not

3:25

anymore. I like flowers. Not to

3:27

eat, but to look at. Yeah, but

3:29

I wanna eat candy. All right. But

3:31

we're not talking about candy. We're not talking about Valentine's Day. We

3:34

are a little bit. This morning, by

3:36

the way- We're talking about- Can I say something nice

3:38

about our daughters? Love. This morning we

3:40

gave them, we got these like

3:42

sour candy heart things that we gave

3:45

them for Valentine's Day. And Bebe said, and

3:47

I have a present for you. And

3:49

then she hugged us, which was very sweet. And she

3:51

said, and my other present, I care for you. And

3:54

I was like, okay, you don't have money.

3:57

That's fine. You didn't give me anything. I didn't say that. I appreciated it

3:59

immensely and I loved it. very much. Yes. Okay.

4:02

So. So.

4:05

If Emily Post is our

4:07

patron saint, I would

4:10

say that Queen Victoria is our

4:12

mascot. Well, I would say in the

4:14

etiquette world, there is no

4:17

bigger influencer in history than

4:20

Queen Victoria. The OG. I would say like

4:22

you could point to a lot of people

4:24

where you could be like Marie Antoinette was

4:27

like a was a

4:29

culture influencer and

4:31

like all kinds of people throughout

4:33

history, right? But I think that

4:35

in this modern day of

4:37

like the things we do every day and take

4:39

for granted of like, yeah,

4:41

that's a yeah, you do this thing

4:43

and that's how weddings go and this

4:46

is how Christmas goes and this is

4:48

right. Right. It all traces back to

4:50

like Queen Victoria was this huge cultural

4:52

like turning point in a lot of our

4:55

modern. Let's call it what it is phenomenon.

4:57

Yeah. I mean, really? Yeah.

4:59

Like no exaggeration, like so

5:01

much of what we do, even like when

5:03

we do our idioms episodes, a lot of

5:06

it traces back to like and then this

5:08

person wrote about Victoria and then

5:10

they went to like the wedding of Queen Victoria

5:12

and Prince Albert. They said this and then

5:15

during the Victorian era, this is what

5:17

came out of it. Yeah. I

5:19

mean, and not just for the

5:21

US, right? Because she had such

5:23

a far and wide reaching

5:26

presence. One could almost say

5:28

that the sun never set

5:31

on all the different places that she claimed

5:34

to own. Yes,

5:38

that is true. But for today,

5:40

we're going to talk about a

5:42

very specific aspect of her life.

5:44

We are going to talk about her

5:47

and her husband Albert's epic

5:50

love story. Why

5:52

did you say it? Why did you say it? Why did you

5:54

say it? Like you're constantly on the

5:59

place. You can just hear my smile. Your

6:02

Queen Victoria, Prince Albert are in

6:04

do is of their dead. I

6:09

year they're in love. Zombies. That

6:11

is that they're not the now trainer Tommy or

6:13

I am not. Zombies will talk about how they

6:15

and a little late as I your to say

6:17

we'll talk about have enough to happen without being

6:20

on a. The. Season episode for

6:22

all Time. Okay, all right so.

6:26

If. We are to start the very beginning.

6:29

Her childhood. Doesn't

6:32

really look like see set up

6:34

for success. Know she was an

6:36

orphan. A drop it into the

6:38

Royal family. No, not not exactly

6:40

Born on Saturday. Now listen list.

6:43

See. Was definitely part of

6:45

the royal family but of regionally see

6:48

was not at they weren't thinking that

6:50

she was gonna. Between yeah, right.

6:53

Hum. So victorious!

6:56

Uncles. Were.

6:58

Very much. In the limelight, they

7:00

were lampooned in political cartoons

7:02

for and mocking tavern songs

7:04

for their like aristocratic excesses,

7:07

right? They were kind of

7:09

like. If we think about

7:11

everything that's like prim and proper. As Queen

7:13

Victoria, they were the absolute opposite A

7:15

lot. They weren't the ones who I

7:17

I I think I'm confusing like her

7:19

uncle's with her sons who ended up

7:21

being like the rulers of a bunch

7:23

of different playwright. Very out that correct.

7:25

Correct her uncle came

7:27

towards the force was

7:29

a well known some

7:32

land during divorce say

7:34

or com and. Philandering of

7:36

the where we need during the icing. it underplays

7:38

whether there's a little bit of yeah but it's

7:40

a farm word riot it's it's one of those

7:43

words and this happens sometimes when I do by

7:45

cross her by herself where you look at it

7:47

too long as of be We do homework yesterday

7:49

and we were try to figure out since she

7:52

could write the had the word leaves and and

7:54

and I said it's him many times also a

7:56

no sense you under i was who's and I

7:58

spelled it too many. Seems like that can't

8:01

be. I can be. And none of these

8:03

T A D C P A T V's

8:05

V the A lost all meaning. Ah

8:07

month early in the morning and I got a lot. I'm

8:09

fiber yeah I know that you are with I love for

8:11

your. So I'm

8:14

Victoria was actually

8:16

behind about. A. Dozen

8:18

children. ah, I'm in line

8:20

for success and ah, but

8:22

it was determined that only

8:24

one of them was a

8:26

legitimate heir. And the

8:29

rest were not. How was

8:31

this? Determines like a battle

8:33

of skill. A. Test of

8:35

brains No, no bloodline

8:37

Ojos. Like for the it it

8:40

has to be were like everyone

8:42

in in parliament or whatever everyone

8:44

in the ruling body decides that.

8:46

Well this one was less actress

8:48

and we're not married to her

8:50

but like we were married to

8:53

this one so maybe that one's.

8:55

Legitimate. Like all this kind of stuff, right?

8:57

And I just say. In

9:00

a real life Ramifications of

9:02

all that messy and and

9:05

definite bad. He. In

9:07

a story line of like

9:09

compared to like royal family

9:12

line of succession now. Way

9:14

more than for food and my like.

9:17

Okay I'm not saying I wish that

9:19

upon a real family and having to

9:21

deal with like cheating and adultery and

9:23

adultery away clear award them fully embraced

9:25

by the way of supply. If

9:28

you're telling me a story, Philandering. almost

9:30

sounds like. Charity philandering. Sounds like

9:32

frolicking two months. I think of

9:34

like he was this frolicking around,

9:36

giving up a radio or adultery

9:39

is biblically Babs. You know

9:41

I'm so then. When

9:43

see was only. Eight months old,

9:46

her father passed. And

9:48

so they quit very quickly,

9:50

found themselves. In search

9:52

of money, I wouldn't say destitute

9:54

because victorious Mother was allowed some

9:57

rooms at Kensington Palace Were victorious

9:59

Spencer. Childhood being molded

10:01

into a perfect princess where

10:04

I'd her mother and hit

10:06

her confidant John Conway. So.

10:10

Wasn't. Her dad's a king. Know. Her.

10:13

Uncle was the king. Oh.

10:17

Okay I guess because when he say

10:19

like not destitute about kind of hurting

10:21

for money or mike some band was

10:23

england of the car no no no

10:25

okay okay. I'm. With you know. I'm

10:28

so then. I mentions

10:31

on Conroy yeah, because

10:33

he and her mother

10:35

conspired right to control

10:37

Victoria. Ah, believing that

10:39

they. Would. Make her queen. Yeah, so

10:41

there was kind. Of like as a

10:43

scheme for this even though she wasn't

10:46

at the time directly in line. For

10:48

succession right? Hey, Listen, I'm trying

10:50

so desperately to remind myself of

10:52

these are real people and a

10:54

real historical things but I am.

10:57

Hanging on every word. Of like

10:59

this is one of the greatest Tv shows

11:01

I've ever said. I'm thinking about the great

11:03

I've seen the about succession. Since I'm thinking

11:05

about Ozzie say I'm I'm in it Okay.

11:08

So. Her mother and Conroy. They

11:10

had a very strict regime for

11:12

her, which they referred to as

11:15

the Kensington Sister. Whom which

11:17

was built on rigorous. Academic study

11:19

and nearly constant surveillance

11:22

surveillance. Sir Sir failure saying

11:24

why are you adding an extra

11:27

I am their you're either a

11:29

moving and a are adding a

11:31

my surveillance surveillance sorry specifies. I

11:36

was glad they're I just was your heart and

11:38

like of such, yeah you sort of surgery for

11:40

my wife's to Rain research. Because.

11:43

Victoria's own mother actually slept in

11:45

the same bedroom as her until.

11:47

Victoria. Became queen. Okay,

11:50

I'm done it with. It was like

11:53

they said. We are going to

11:55

make sure that this one gets into zero.

11:57

trouble and you know you're talking

11:59

about Victoria was the name of

12:01

the thing with Jenna Coleman. Yes.

12:03

Yes. Yes. Yes.

12:07

All right. So can I just

12:09

say once again to interrupt? I'm just always

12:11

yeah, we talked about Queen Victoria a lot.

12:13

So this is the like feels like a

12:15

behind the scenes of a movie I've loved

12:17

and watch a million times that explains so

12:20

much because that sounds very infantimizing. And

12:22

then you think about so many things

12:24

that we attribute to

12:26

like, just, for

12:28

example, like Christmas. And it's like, yeah, that sounds

12:31

like I never got to have these things or

12:33

like, I'm still kind of a child because I

12:35

didn't mature. Although, because I was basically like, treated

12:37

as a child, long into my adulthood,

12:39

you know what I mean? And then so she like

12:41

loves fancy baubles and she likes big cakes at weddings

12:43

and stuff, you know? Well,

12:55

maybe not to blame armchair psychologist, but I just look

12:58

at that. And I'm like, yeah, man, that kind of

13:00

connects. Sure. Let's, let's throw

13:02

in a dash of like this. So

13:04

we have this royal pressure, right? And

13:07

then a dash of never alone. Yeah.

13:09

She did become a very avid journaler.

13:11

It's, it's pretty much surmised that

13:13

her mother read her journals. But maybe she had a secret word. And

13:15

I think that's what I'm talking about. But

13:18

maybe she had a secret one that she didn't

13:20

let her mom read. I don't know. It

13:23

was voice activated. Kids are

13:25

always hiding stuff. And

13:28

we have journals from her

13:30

from about age 13 to her

13:32

death. And

13:34

so she often turns on her diary. She

13:37

lived a long time. A lot. She

13:39

turned to her diary when she needed to

13:41

share her more intimate feelings about

13:43

something or someone and that

13:46

place or some time. Sure.

13:48

Or some some. That's

13:51

where we get to hear all

13:53

the adorable details about when she

13:55

first met Albert on her

13:57

journey. that

14:00

that Conroy and her mother were pushing

14:03

her along. A

14:05

lot of bachelors were lobbed

14:07

her way. And I just

14:09

picture was. And

14:14

she didn't like them. She didn't like nearly

14:16

any of them, right? But that all changed

14:18

in 1836 on her 17th birthday. And

14:23

Albert was, well,

14:26

to put it bluntly, not a first round

14:28

draft pick. Underdog.

14:31

He was her first cousin. Okay.

14:34

Which is not uncommon as far

14:36

as royalty is concerned. Sure. Different

14:39

times. Different times. He was

14:41

from the German side of the family. And

14:44

anti-German sentiment was rising in Britain at the

14:46

time. Many royals felt that a match between

14:48

them would be a bad idea. Also,

14:51

Albert wasn't a flashy, fancy

14:53

kind of guy. He

14:56

loved science and history and art. And he

14:58

was very logical and smart. I would say

15:00

he was like pragmatically

15:02

German in that, right? Often

15:05

to the – like he was blunt, often

15:08

to the point of harshness, is what I'm going

15:10

to say. Okay. Once

15:13

again, not to play arms with your chair psychologist,

15:15

but I will a little bit. If

15:18

you've been treated like a child, right, your

15:20

whole life, and everything has been

15:22

controlled and every decision is made for you

15:24

and you've been infantilized. And

15:26

then you meet this person who seems logical

15:28

and pragmatic and doesn't speak to you like

15:31

a child, like speaks to you bluntly and

15:33

speaks to you like – and it's just

15:35

like, I don't like that. And

15:38

it is like not coddling you and not

15:40

doing that thing. I can see

15:42

where that's very appealing. All

15:45

right. All right. You're painting a lovely picture

15:47

for me. I'm just once again – sorry

15:50

to treat this like a story that I'm hearing.

15:52

But like if I'm working on character

15:55

motivations and I'm working on like how

15:58

do we build this like – Structuring.

16:01

That's. The person you command, right?

16:03

It's the Darcy to what's her face

16:05

Elizabeth right now Yaneth well sewer as

16:07

that are name yoga Elizabeth right? Okay,

16:10

maybe because then it's like oh yeah

16:12

no ma'am it's like oh my god

16:14

you're so great is gonna do it

16:16

for her right? It's gonna be the

16:19

guy who challenges are oh okay, I,

16:21

I, I, I'm I'm with You can

16:23

guess. So the first meeting with have

16:25

her seventeenth birthday party and eighteen thirty

16:28

six and the pair with introduced by

16:30

their uncle King Leopold the first King

16:32

of the Belgians. And

16:34

according hammer a second I had to remind

16:37

myself that was probably his real title and

16:39

know like a nickname like other guy thing

16:41

of a Belgian fans out. There

16:44

was an immediate sparked an Leopold

16:46

had been hopeful that this might

16:49

happen. I mean, despite the discouragement

16:51

I would say of the King

16:53

of England because before the pair

16:56

met her uncle, the King had

16:58

attempted to set Victoria up with

17:00

one of the Princes of the

17:02

Netherlands, specifically the second son of

17:05

the Prince of Orange. Ah, I'm

17:07

and Victoria knew about this attempt

17:09

and was not into it at

17:12

all because. She said

17:14

the Netherlands or boys are very planes.

17:16

They look heavy, tall, and frightened, and

17:18

are not at all preprocessing. Ago.

17:21

I like the frame bars

17:23

smooth, smooth the upper. I'm.

17:26

Which contrasts singly what she

17:28

wrote in her diary about

17:31

meeting Prince Albert. Albert

17:33

is extremely handsome. His hair is

17:35

about the same color as mine.

17:38

His eyes are large blue steel.

17:40

As a beautiful knows a very

17:42

sweet mouth with fine teeth. But

17:44

the charm of his countenance is

17:46

in his expulsion which is most

17:48

delightful. Oh man, I

17:50

know. Cebu that sees got

17:52

like i'm a fan girl moment. Here.

17:54

Going on my there's something I see those

17:56

sign part of that to me as the

17:59

beautiful knows that. The also specific

18:01

link. And. My not a

18:03

as especially thing now that if like

18:05

someone started dating someone right and they

18:07

are I'd tell me about him and

18:09

the like army on. The. As

18:12

beautiful as like that is like not

18:14

saying that. I think we would think

18:16

the comment on necessarily at least not

18:18

like in the opening. This gives him

18:20

a salad the I got Nina one

18:22

villages know right but this was like

18:24

the third since he says Imax Beautiful

18:26

Nazi got to see the nose on

18:28

this guy. see. Was so smitten immediately

18:30

that she actually wrote to King

18:32

Leopold and thanked him for introducing

18:35

them because she said thank you

18:37

for the prospect of great happiness

18:39

you have contributed to me. In

18:41

the person of the or Albert

18:43

he possesses every quality that to

18:46

be desire to render me perfectly

18:48

happy to assist. Sensible, so kind

18:50

and so good and so amiable

18:52

to he has decides the most

18:54

pleasing and delightful exterior and appearances

18:56

can possibly. See Oh wow.

18:59

Like. A light the insides but the

19:01

ab said a really. Really like the have

19:03

asthma you. I like that you're not our

19:05

mind. What? About a

19:07

word from rather my son. So. Many

19:21

I'm still doing and who to talk about?

19:23

My podcast in the middle, the one you're

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listening to build Valley Heat Eve about my

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neighborhood the Burberry grew to Western District. The

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golf in high speed freeway rooms. Getting in.

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There's been a Jaguar parked outside on my

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curb for ten months. I have no idea

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of wounds that I have a feeling it's

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related to the drug drug that was happening

19:42

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in if this is blubbering commercial a measured

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to the perfect and co sports the

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event. Hello sleepyheads. Sleeping with celebrities is

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or wherever you get

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your podcasts. Night night. Okay, so Victoria

20:40

Smith. Yes,

20:45

but not ready to marry. She

20:48

was only 17 and

20:50

neither of them decided to seek a

20:52

formal engagement at the time, but they

20:55

were very hopeful, right? And

20:58

it turned out to be a little

21:00

quicker than they really wanted or expected

21:04

because King George died in

21:06

1830 and his

21:08

brother William was ruling when she met

21:10

Albert. But King William passed

21:12

away in the summer that Victoria turned 18.

21:15

Okay. So that meant it

21:17

was time to become the queen. And

21:22

here is why it all got

21:24

kind of rushed, right? They

21:26

needed to crown her queen, but it

21:28

was unsavory for a queen not to

21:31

be married, right? So

21:33

bound by social convention, she

21:36

still had to live with her

21:38

mother, even being queen. And

21:42

everybody thought that not only was

21:44

it torturing for her, she didn't

21:46

like it, but also people thought

21:48

that there would be outside

21:51

pressure on decisions like

21:53

for, you know, royal

21:55

matters. If she was living with

21:57

her mother and she was still living with

21:59

her mother. living with Conroy and her

22:02

mother. And Conroy was her

22:04

mother's advisor, right? Not her

22:06

advisor. Well, I mean, you're not wrong, right?

22:08

Because that seemed to be their whole goal

22:10

from the outset of like, we're molding her

22:12

to be the queen we want her to

22:14

be. And I also have

22:17

to imagine that if you're like, hey,

22:19

especially at this time, the world

22:21

ain't exactly like firmly

22:23

set, right? There's a lot of upset. There's a

22:25

lot of like, ooh, intrigue, are we

22:27

at war? Are we gonna fight these people? And

22:29

if you send the image of our

22:32

leader as a kid, right? Like

22:34

it doesn't exactly set her up

22:36

for success to be like,

22:38

she's basically a baby who still lives with her mom. So

22:41

all of this could be avoided if

22:43

Victoria got married, right? And

22:46

then you're also shoring up relations

22:48

between Germany and England. That's true.

22:51

So after they met on

22:53

her 17th birthday, Albert was like,

22:56

this is gonna be it and started to educate

22:58

himself on what would be expected of him

23:00

as the queen's husband, which

23:02

would be prince. And

23:05

not king. Not king. You're only

23:07

king if you're king? You're

23:10

only king if it's your bloodline

23:13

on the throne. Okay. Right?

23:15

So she can be queen, but he's

23:19

prince. Unless it's a month that

23:21

begins with him. No.

23:25

So on their second meeting in 1837, October

23:29

of that year, Victoria proposed to

23:31

Albert. On their second, okay. Well,

23:33

I mean, they had been exchanging letters. Sure. But

23:38

it's still, you're right. It was a little

23:40

odd, right? They'd only met a couple of

23:42

times, but they had been exchanging letters. And

23:45

it's not like I don't know that it works out. All

23:47

right. I don't know why I'm like, oh, this is gonna

23:49

end bad. And think about

23:52

like Henry VIII, right? Sure.

23:55

She married Anne of Cleves after just

23:57

seeing her portrait, right? Yeah. setting

24:00

up people, especially royals,

24:03

was totally common. I

24:05

also, man, I'm starting to suspect

24:07

that my, so I don't

24:10

know how much of my understanding of

24:12

this is from real life as opposed

24:14

to like movies and TV shows. Okay.

24:17

Because when you talk about like, oh,

24:19

her uncle the king wanted her to marry this

24:21

guy, right, and she was like, I don't wanna

24:23

marry him. And I'm like, oh,

24:25

she got to pick, how cool, right? But

24:28

I also don't know, maybe everybody got to pick,

24:30

and my idea of like, you will marry this

24:32

man, comes from like movies and TV shows, and

24:34

in real life it was like, oh yeah, you

24:36

don't have to marry this dude, it sucks. I

24:38

think it's kind of a mix of both. Okay. Yeah.

24:42

So she proposed to Albert as was necessitated

24:45

by her status, right? Sure.

24:47

Because they didn't want, it

24:50

had to be that the queen was

24:52

in control of the marriage, right?

24:55

This is what she wrote in her journal

24:58

after he arrived at Windsor.

25:00

OMG. I

25:02

sent for Albert, he came to the closet

25:05

where I was alone. Side

25:07

note, closet might mean bathroom.

25:10

But it definitely doesn't mean like closet. It

25:13

definitely doesn't mean like three by three, like

25:15

room, like hole in the wall room where

25:17

I hung my clothes. Because they had wardrobe,

25:19

right? Closet might mean bathroom at the

25:21

time. And after a few

25:23

minutes I said to him that I thought he

25:25

must be aware why I'd wished him to come

25:27

here. And that it would make

25:29

me too happy if he would consent to what

25:32

I wished. Parentheses to marry

25:34

me. We embraced each other

25:36

over and over again and he was so

25:38

kind, so affectionate. Oh, to feel

25:41

I was and am loved by such

25:43

an angel as Albert was

25:45

too great delight to describe. He

25:48

is perfection, perfection in every way,

25:50

in beauty, in everything. I

25:52

told him I was quite unworthy of him

25:54

and kissed his dear hand. He said he

25:56

would be very happy. And

25:59

he... She writes in German,

26:01

Das Lieben mit dir zu zu

26:03

Brinken, and was kind

26:05

and seemed so happy that I really felt

26:07

it was the happiest, brightest moment of my

26:09

life, which had made up for

26:12

all that I had suffered and endured. Oh,

26:14

how I adore and love him I cannot

26:16

say. That's so sweet. She

26:18

wrote that in 1839. That's very nice. Very

26:21

sweet. Okay. Okay.

26:24

Royal wedding starts getting planned.

26:26

Yeah. Right?

26:28

Albert is tying up

26:30

affairs in Germany. Yes. Here

26:33

is a letter from him before

26:35

their marriage. My

26:37

dearest most beloved Victoria, I am so touched

26:39

by the evidence of trust that you have

26:42

given me in sending your letters and

26:44

by the so affectionate sentiments that you

26:46

expressed towards me therein that I scarcely

26:48

know how to reply to you. Do

26:51

you like me? Check. Yes

26:53

or no? How I have earned so

26:55

much love and so much warm heartedness. I

26:58

am still unable to accustom myself to the

27:01

truth of all that I see in here

27:03

and can only believe that heaven has sent

27:05

down an angel to me whose radiance has

27:07

intended to brighten my life. May

27:09

I succeed in making you quite, quite happy,

27:11

as happy as you deserve to be. With

27:13

body and soul I remain forever your slave.

27:16

You're devoted, Albert. My goodness,

27:18

my gracious. These

27:20

two poets, they are poets.

27:23

What can I say? What I like

27:25

about this. Let this be a lesson

27:27

to everybody listening who is in relationship or pursuing

27:29

relationships in some way. Both

27:32

of them are basically telling the other one like, I

27:35

don't think I deserve you. And the other

27:37

one is like, no, no, I don't deserve

27:39

you. And so this thing of like, I

27:41

will work hard to make you happy. And

27:43

the other one is like, I will work

27:45

hard to make you happy. Or just being

27:47

with you makes me happy, right? Like this

27:49

exchange of like, you don't have

27:51

to do anything because you're great. I don't know.

27:54

No, no, no. Right? So

27:56

this thing of like, they, it's that thing of I think

27:59

People have talked about. when addresses are before the

28:01

sixty forty rain them like Mlp were always get

28:03

sick. The recent right that is like they're great.

28:05

You're going to be right. right?

28:08

And it sounds like you're to people who made

28:10

the decision of like I will be happy when

28:12

they are ambient and that the other britain think

28:14

I'll be happy when you're hammond so they're both.

28:17

Putting. Each other's happiness before their own while still

28:19

focusing on their own. have I think for a free

28:21

account. And. One one more letter he

28:23

talks about where they arise at

28:25

some sort of port. Ah, before

28:28

they get to Windsor. The

28:30

next day I'm and it says I mean

28:32

I tell you that since he last all

28:34

my thoughts had been with you at Windsor

28:37

and that your image fills my whole soul.

28:39

even in my dreams. I never imagined that

28:41

I could find so much love on earth.

28:44

How that moment, science and me when I

28:46

was still close to you, your hand in

28:48

mine. those days flew by so quickly, but

28:50

as settlers and will fly equally cel earnest

28:53

wishes to say a thousand nice things to

28:55

you with promises of unchanging love and devotion.

28:57

You're. Ever true Albert. Now

29:00

it's okay Someone know they fought about

29:02

ah I will tell you how. Does

29:07

this is all very foolish as but I want to get

29:09

like and their first sight ray and it's like and they

29:11

argued about whether they'd have a T V in the bedroom.

29:13

Or. Not one person runs its course

29:15

through all things the I would

29:18

say com and so they loved

29:20

hard and they fought hard. Facts:

29:23

Are they finally when on February tenth?

29:25

eighteen forty in the Chapel Royal of

29:27

same see Also. Wonder that as my though.

29:30

Or. It was February tenth One where

29:32

you're eighteen forty. Okay, so.

29:35

Eighty four hundred made for your for

29:37

your move there. I can't do man.

29:39

yeah or. Yes, Yes,

29:41

Yes, I believe. You I'm

29:43

and it was the most royal

29:46

of all royal weddings. Everything that

29:48

we picked sir that a royal

29:50

wedding said be a was because

29:52

that's what gives us the idea

29:54

of. The Royal Wedding and in many ways

29:57

going of as a wedding. right?

29:59

There when Hague weighed three hundred, fan

30:01

of. Why?

30:06

Wait. Three Hundred pounds. Their Wedding cake? That

30:08

was Three Hundred pounds of. Cake. Okay,

30:10

here's one thinks: I'm a pretty

30:12

strong array. Yeah, I think I

30:15

could comfortably. Like. Without

30:17

really are wearing your are dropped

30:19

again. right? Carry.

30:22

Around fifty to sixty pounds. Dislike

30:24

the right a bag of like

30:26

flowers Iraq, Iran, Syria.

30:29

Iraq like six. Guys

30:31

my thighs to carry that cake.

30:33

Barrow bike so you probably have a ten.

30:35

People are big planner or they just built

30:37

it. Was here in a while maybe a

30:40

broad I am saddened by didn't know the

30:42

way away or was it one big seat

30:44

Takes is one of the seed cake that

30:46

was like a hundred feet long and fifty

30:48

feet wide according. To tradition I believe it

30:50

was a fruitcake. This

30:53

law for a lot of free. Very dense.

30:55

What if it was like only

30:57

like twelve by twelve when main

30:59

of one a matter of a

31:01

dark matter. Yeah. I would you to it.

31:04

You. Wouldn't. He. Just was anger that's great

31:06

has sunk through the core of the earth. Com

31:09

There actually are slices of

31:11

this take that are still

31:13

around. Today Oh yeah, that was

31:15

on ah in one of the

31:17

first season of Grow in his

31:19

play Ray Gun Rhymes Nap. Com.

31:22

And. This is where Victoria famously to

31:25

and her white dress. At the time

31:27

it was more traditional for brides to

31:29

were very colorful gowns with glowing silver

31:31

embroidery. However, the Queen opted for white

31:33

silk as a sign of her family.

31:37

But. Now. It's. Standard. Now

31:39

it's standard. Maybe she

31:41

wasn't actually the very first one, but

31:43

she was the most famous. For that for

31:45

that. When we talk about influencers, Yeah right. It's

31:47

not that you're the first one to do it.

31:50

Your the want to popularize and. A

31:54

little bump in the route to when I

31:56

did not go exactly as planned. Victoria came

31:58

down with a headache. The bleep

32:00

from drinking. Oh God. I'm

32:03

but he did. He was very

32:05

kind and was very sweet the

32:07

Her: While she was lying down,

32:10

she wrote a lovestruck passage in

32:12

her diary. I'm

32:14

not. I'm not going to read all of

32:17

it. I'm. My. Dearest Dearest

32:19

Their Albert. Sat on

32:21

a footstool by my side and his

32:23

excessive love and affection for me gave

32:25

me feelings of heavenly love and happiness.

32:28

He could and on a much easier

32:30

to relive and blow. Up.

32:35

At twenty minutes past ten, we both

32:37

went to bed of course, in one

32:39

bed to lie by his side and

32:41

in his arms and on his tear

32:43

bosom and be called by names of

32:45

tenderness as had never yet heard used

32:47

for me before with bliss beyond belief.

32:49

Oh, this was the happiest day of

32:51

my life. May God help me to

32:53

do my duty as I ought and

32:55

be worthy of such blessings. Oh my

32:57

goodness gracious, I love of so.

32:59

She had a headache and they just

33:01

laid without him and cuddle. Two spoons,

33:04

As. Great! I'm attack.

33:08

The. Honeymoon. Also. Rather short.

33:10

Ah, by be standards, I mean it's

33:12

possible as a royal that you could

33:15

do like a month for our honeymoon

33:17

surround. Ah, but it was. It was

33:19

a little sort of. They only went

33:22

to Windsor for a few nights before

33:24

returning to their duties because Victoria was

33:26

under a lot of pressure. I'm not

33:29

only was she the first queen and

33:31

a long time job, her uncle's I

33:33

mentioned earlier had left quite a mess

33:36

for her to pick up some. At

33:38

this point, the monarchy. Had a

33:40

rather raunchy reputation which

33:42

deeply disturbed. The growing religious

33:45

middle class house. or yeah,

33:47

Yeah, I'm the young Queen was

33:50

heralded as the nation's hope. To

33:53

have no parental. Pressure See was expected

33:55

to portray herself as a beacon

33:57

of purity and class in order

33:59

to to. the monarchy around. See

34:01

this once again is where we get

34:03

I think one of the like the

34:06

defining juxtapositions, the defining

34:08

dichotomies of the Victorian era.

34:11

Which is we think of it

34:13

as this very staunch uptight like

34:18

I mean puritanical thing but

34:20

in reality you know there's a lot of fun

34:22

and there was all excuses to let loose and

34:25

yeah it was like you scratch the surface of

34:27

it a little bit and there's all the stuff

34:29

underneath it and that's what we're talking about with

34:31

Victoria right of like hey we want you to

34:33

come in and be this beacon

34:36

of like purity and stuff was like you

34:38

got it anyways here's the passage about me

34:40

laying my head on his lips on the

34:43

moon and you're like whoa well these weren't

34:45

discovered until much. Well sure but this is

34:47

what I'm saying you scratch the surface a

34:49

little bit and here's a passionate young woman

34:52

underneath who wants you know fancy and wants

34:54

fun and wants you to just like be

34:56

passionately in love with her husband and it's

34:59

like yeah but be uptight it's like okay I will

35:01

hear when you're looking at me but as

35:03

soon as you turn away it's it's back

35:06

to the fun and passion and stuff. Albert

35:09

wanted to be known more than

35:11

simply the sire of royal children

35:14

yeah and he also brought a

35:16

lot of money into the Union

35:18

and so he he got

35:23

very frustrated about the

35:25

idea that he was just some foreign

35:27

fool using the British

35:30

crown there was a

35:32

very vicious rhyme that went around

35:35

for better or for worse England's

35:37

fat Queen and England's fatter purse.

35:40

Gross. Yeah not very nice but

35:44

Victoria had every right to be very protective

35:46

of her power she knew that she

35:49

was coming to the throne during a very precious time

35:51

in Britain's history not to

35:53

mention that marrying a German was very risky at

35:55

the time so they became frustrated

35:57

with each other quite often. was

36:00

known to be moody and Albert could be

36:02

logical to the point of insensitivity. Right, yeah,

36:04

I was talking about this earlier, right? I

36:08

bet he tried to fix her problems. Is that just

36:10

listening? Maybe. Where she was like, oh, I'm so frustrated

36:12

with, I don't know, Prussia or whatever. You

36:15

were worried about that time. He was like, do you want

36:17

me to invade them? And she's like, no, I don't want

36:19

you to invade them. I just want you to listen about

36:21

how I'm mad. I'm like, okay, I don't understand. You said

36:23

you have a problem with Prussia. What if we just conquered

36:25

Prussia? I'm like, no, Albert. Something

36:29

like that. Apparently,

36:31

their fights were rather

36:33

tense. Oftentimes,

36:36

they would have to retreat

36:38

to separate apartments in

36:41

order to cool down. You mean in, like, they

36:43

didn't like keep places in the town? No, no, no.

36:46

That's what different areas of the palaces

36:48

were called apartments. Okay. I

36:50

do love the idea of Albert just having a place

36:52

with like neon beer signs and like a pool table.

36:54

It's like this is just where Albert can be Albert.

36:56

You know what I mean? Rumor

36:59

is that they used to pass

37:01

notes to each other to fight

37:03

on. They

37:05

didn't like yelling at each other or maybe they did like... They

37:07

would tell their servants to tell each other that they weren't

37:09

talking to each other. Something

37:12

like that. Yeah. It

37:15

started to shift a little bit when

37:17

they had their first child. Surprising

37:20

no one. Victoria was pregnant shortly after

37:22

the marriage. And then pretty

37:25

much from then on... Yeah.

37:28

Yeah. They would go on to have

37:30

nine children in all. Yeah. But

37:33

each pregnancy would take a deep toll on

37:35

Victoria. It's been speculated that she might have

37:37

already had some mental health issues and

37:40

her pregnancy often left her incapacitated,

37:43

not only mentally but also physically, right?

37:45

So very physically trying to sort of

37:47

ordeal to give birth to make

37:50

a baby and give birth. Yeah. It's

37:52

hard. And so

37:55

this is when she would finally

37:57

allow Albert to do... Perform

38:00

some of her royal duties I'm

38:02

and over the course of their

38:04

relationship, he became a very important

38:07

adviser and confidant. It's not just

38:09

partner, but and politically speaking right

38:11

arm. He supported a myriad of

38:14

public causes, fighting for the military

38:16

and educational reform, and even for

38:18

the abolition of slavery. Ah, Set

38:21

up like a ton of like

38:23

to charities and like bird social

38:25

services and stuff like resources for

38:27

people if I remember. improved engine

38:30

talked. About the Great Exhibition of

38:32

Eighteen Sixty One Before this was

38:34

mostly his doing. It showed off

38:36

Britain's technological achievement. It was the

38:39

first kind of like World's Fair

38:41

yet right arm and it was.

38:43

He was essential in helping Victoria

38:45

deal of foreign policy and. It.

38:48

Made it kind of of duel

38:50

monarchy right where he would be

38:52

for for to as the and

38:54

around. Kings but what I really love of others

38:56

and we send. My understanding

38:59

of in right is like he was

39:01

never very influential in it, but at

39:03

no point from what I've heard was

39:05

there any animosity of like that. I'm

39:07

overshadowed by my wife bequeath right a

39:10

to see as I was there a

39:12

little bit. Yeah, I'm what does nobody

39:14

ever calls at the Albert Am era

39:16

in oh no. It's true that

39:18

some people say that Albert took advantage

39:20

of victorious traumatic pregnancies to seize power

39:23

that she wouldn't have granted him other

39:25

ones. But. Some people

39:27

say that the vittorio everything I ah.

39:30

I don't know. Or can. I.

39:32

Don't know. It's hard because when I do. Everything

39:34

I know about them have to this point not

39:36

just from this episode but for the person who

39:38

disgusted. right? Of like.

39:41

and maybe i'm projecting our massacre so

39:43

much of what we do right marozas

39:45

of is like a divide and conquer

39:47

right and like we did have two

39:50

kids teammates me of mine and when

39:52

we're young man responsible for as much

39:54

of their children sly this poor alike

39:56

i'd have them ads of a different

39:58

version of their for ears I

40:00

don't care if you're you know worn out for pregnancy and

40:02

you dress but I'm not doing it get up there I

40:07

suppose Yeah,

40:10

if this was a different story where you're like and

40:12

every time she had a kid he would disappear off

40:14

to the country with His friends and leaving her to

40:16

do everything we'd be like what a jerk Maybe

40:19

I'm defending him because I'm I'm a husband

40:24

There is a whole conversation to

40:26

be held about this time periods

40:28

about like the imbalance of power

40:31

and sexism

40:34

and Even the occurrence of mental

40:36

health issues, right? So there's a

40:38

whole They were of the time

40:40

but they were kind of made to be

40:42

kind of like synonymous with the time and like

40:45

I said But my cards

40:47

on the table I'm having a really hard

40:49

time separating as I've said previously in this

40:51

episode The like story of

40:53

it and the historical fact of

40:55

it while I'm like not my

40:57

favorite character Like no,

40:59

this is a real person and these were real times with like

41:02

real issues But we

41:04

do know That they were

41:06

very emotionally dependent on each other and

41:08

at some points professionally dependent on

41:10

each other Victoria

41:13

sought to make him comfortable bringing Christmas

41:15

to the palace right? We've talked about

41:17

that And

41:19

Albert designed a seaside retreat for

41:21

their family so victory could escape

41:23

the pressures of life in London

41:26

and because of

41:28

Albert's mediation Victoria

41:31

was able to slowly work on repairing her relationship

41:33

with her mother cool So

41:36

they they stayed deeply devoted to each other

41:39

for the entirety of their lives And

41:42

by several accounts Albert was very

41:44

protective of Victoria When

41:46

the press eventually came around to Albert Was

41:49

when they witnessed his

41:52

valor protecting Victoria from an assassination

41:54

attempt? Oh He

41:57

literally put his body in between

41:59

the assassination and Victoria.

42:02

So the press was like, okay, he's a good

42:04

guy. That's what it takes.

42:06

I guess so. He

42:10

also had a reputation

42:13

for actually being in the

42:15

room while Victoria was giving

42:17

birth. This is

42:19

corroborated by Victoria's doctor who

42:23

wrote, nothing could exceed the

42:25

tender anxiety of the prince

42:27

to his wife. He sat by her bedside

42:29

during the whole time, cheered and sustained her

42:31

and covered her face with kisses in

42:34

the acne of her sharpest throws. He

42:37

was pale and obviously very anxious. But

42:40

this, though apparent in his bloodshot

42:42

eye and haggard expression, did not

42:44

render his conduct tumultuous and unsettled

42:46

in the smallest degree. So

42:48

he was like, he was right there with her

42:50

the whole time. And in a time where, I

42:52

mean, you talked about going off to a lodge

42:55

or whatever, right? He was there. In

42:58

March of 1861, Victoria's mother

43:00

passed away. And at this

43:02

point, Victoria came upon some

43:04

of her papers to

43:07

find that despite their tumultuous relationship,

43:09

Victoria's mother expressed that she adored

43:11

her daughter and blamed

43:14

both Conroy and Victoria's governess

43:16

for their estrangement. Sure. I

43:19

don't know. Yeah. You can love

43:21

somebody and hurt them at the same time. You can

43:23

also think that it's other people's fault when it's your

43:26

fault. Yes, yes. Why do

43:28

these two people keep doing everything I tell them to

43:30

do? In November of

43:32

that year, Albert and Victoria

43:34

heard a rumor that their son, Albert

43:37

Edward, Prince of Wales, was

43:39

carrying on with an actress in

43:41

Dublin. What? Appalled,

43:44

Albert immediately traveled to Cambridge

43:46

to confront his son about

43:49

his scandalous affair. But

43:52

when Albert came back, he was extremely unwell. He

43:56

was diagnosed with typhoid fever, but Victoria's

43:58

doctors assured the Queen that his condition

44:00

would turn around. It did not. No.

44:03

Albert died on December 14th, 1861, just a few months shy of

44:05

his 22nd wedding anniversary. For

44:11

some reason, I lost all track of numbers. I

44:14

thought you were going to say 22nd birthday. I

44:16

was like, that can't be right. That can't be

44:18

right. They had nine kids. Officially,

44:22

they said that typhoid fever took

44:24

him, but it could have been

44:27

stomach cancer or an ulcer or

44:29

some other unidentifiable thing at the

44:32

time. He and Victoria were both

44:34

42 years old when he

44:36

passed. Okay, so not that old

44:38

though. Not that old, right? After

44:41

his passing. I didn't realize they were the same

44:43

age. I think that that's cool. That's

44:46

great for the time, especially, especially for

44:48

the time. After

44:50

his passing, she secluded herself from

44:53

royal office, avoiding public appearances for

44:55

years and wearing only

44:57

black morning clothes for the rest

44:59

of her life. This is the

45:01

period where the widow of

45:04

Windsor appears, right? I also

45:06

think this is probably where, when

45:08

most people who don't

45:10

know the full story of Victoria,

45:13

when they think about dour and

45:15

serious and we are not amused,

45:17

this is the period

45:20

they think about, not like the

45:22

22 years of them being

45:24

together and Christmas and

45:26

300 pound cakes and stuff,

45:28

right? I think they picture

45:31

always wearing black and this

45:35

half of her life period of mourning kind of deal.

45:39

By the time of her

45:41

golden jubilee in 1887, Victoria

45:43

was affectionately known as the

45:45

grandmother of Europe because her

45:47

children had married other royals

45:49

and played key roles. They

45:53

occupied eight European countries. Wow.

45:55

Yeah, so the thrones were

45:58

all from her. Game

46:00

of it is almost she is

46:02

also credited with spreading

46:05

hemophilia Throughout if

46:07

if dr. Who is to be it's like

46:09

cancer beats werewolf stuff in

46:12

David tenants Like third

46:15

or fourth episode they say was hemophilia, but

46:17

we maybe was like cancer beat the werewolves

46:19

That's never brought up again in dr.

46:22

Who I think they're like maybe we

46:24

shouldn't imply That

46:26

the royals are werewolves Victoria passed

46:28

on January 22nd 1901 Ending

46:32

her 63 year reign whoo While

46:37

her health had been deteriorating for years She

46:39

succumbed to a stroke and passed away at

46:41

Osborne house on the Isle of Wight Which

46:44

was the house that Albert had designed for

46:46

her by the sea, right? Lovely.

46:48

She was 82 so

46:52

Obviously when we discussed this she left behind

46:54

an incredible legacy

46:56

yeah, there are countless streets

46:58

and public buildings and statues

47:00

and Bridges

47:02

and all kinds of things named

47:04

for her And

47:06

her reign is known as the

47:09

Victorian period both in and outside

47:11

of Britain It's synonymous with Britain's

47:13

great age of industrial expansion economic

47:15

progress and growth of quote the

47:17

Empire Yeah Her

47:21

funeral. I mean, I don't love the Empire right? The

47:23

legacy you get it her

47:26

funeral was an enormous affair She

47:30

wanted a white funeral with a procession

47:32

and full military service She wanted to

47:34

be carried by carriage with

47:36

no public lying in state Do

47:38

you think that's out the white funeral was

47:41

like I've lived my life in

47:43

mourning since I lost Albert and now I get To

47:45

be with Albert again, so I'm not morning anymore. Absolutely.

47:47

It was yeah, absolutely Absolutely Because

47:50

she wanted her white gown. She wanted family

47:52

mementos inside the coffin with her She wanted

47:54

to be buried with Albert's dressing gown and

47:57

a plaster cast of his hand with

48:00

her wedding veil which she had actually refashioned several

48:02

times over into different outfits. She loved her wedding

48:05

clothes. She was getting married to Albert again because

48:07

she was rejoining him. Aww, so sweet.

48:10

But you won't find her buried

48:12

in Westminster Abbey. I wouldn't go

48:15

looking, baby. Well, because if

48:17

you ever want to visit her grave you'll

48:19

find her final resting place at the Royal

48:21

Mausoleum near Frogmore House which

48:23

is about a half a mile south of Windsor Castle

48:26

because she enlisted one of

48:28

her favorite designers to help create like

48:30

a final resting place for the two

48:32

of them. Yeah. And her and team

48:35

of artists and architects carefully crafted the

48:37

building with detailed and personal touches that

48:39

Albert would have loved. For example, much

48:41

of the artwork is inspired by Raphael

48:43

which was Albert's favorite artist.

48:45

And favorite entertainer. Sure.

48:49

Above the Mausoleum

48:51

doors is inscribed, Farewell,

48:53

most beloved. Here at length I shall

48:55

rest with thee, with thee in Christ

48:57

I shall rise again. So.

49:00

They are zombies. Not

49:02

yet. Not yet. That's a whole

49:05

other show. Dun dun dun. Okay. Hey,

49:07

thanks everybody. Thank you for listening. Thank

49:10

you to our editor Rachel without whom we could not make

49:12

the show. Thank you to our researcher Alex without whom we

49:14

could not make the show. And thank you to you for

49:16

listening. We think you're great. We're here.

49:18

I'm glad you're here for this one. I love making

49:20

the show for you. That's true. I really enjoyed this

49:22

one, Theresa. Thank you for making the show with me.

49:24

Yeah. I think you're great. I think you're

49:26

great. If you haven't yet go check out merch over

49:28

at macramerch.com. There's a lot of cool stuff over there

49:30

and 10% of all merch proceeds this

49:33

month go to the Marsha

49:35

P. Johnson Institute. What else, Theresa?

49:37

Thank you to Brent Brontofloss Black for

49:39

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49:44

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49:46

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49:55

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49:57

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49:59

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50:01

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