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The Thing About You and Other People's Needs

The Thing About You and Other People's Needs

Released Tuesday, 18th June 2019
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The Thing About You and Other People's Needs

The Thing About You and Other People's Needs

The Thing About You and Other People's Needs

The Thing About You and Other People's Needs

Tuesday, 18th June 2019
Good episode? Give it some love!
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My first podcast!  I thought I'd start off with some recurring themes from our Healthy Boundaries for Kind People work.  Here's the thing: those challenged by boundaries and/or people pleasers tend to both bend over backward to meet the needs of others, while also feeling pathetic and "needy" that they have needs of their own.  Oh, we are a funny species! So, I thought I'd offer you a different way of looking at it and a few "hows" to get you out violating your own boundaries to please others.  

Here are a few things I'd like to highlight from this episode:
- Please consider my favorite tools of context, nuance, and discernment to see what rings true for you. (2:29)
- Why I think traditional boundary strategies and advice, fails kind people. (It's a trap!) (4:10) - We can acknowledge someone's needs without having to meet those needs.(5:43) - We're willing to violate our own boundaries to prove our worthiness to others. (9:17) 
- You can care about someone's feeling without becoming the caretaker of their feelings. (10:56)
- People pleasing is often an attempt to manage someone else's emotional response. (12:31)
- When my clients dig into the deep boundary work, they often discover that they're not as good as they think about honoring the boundaries of others. (15:54)
- Honoring your own boundaries helps others to see that you have them. (17:29)
- We honor our boundaries (and show deep respect for others) when we shift from the person who has to "save" them to the person who believes in them. (17:55)

Links: Healthy Boundaries for Kind People (begins in September) Slow Business Adventure in Norway (September)

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