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Hey , ladies , welcome to the Single

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Moms United podcast , where

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we cannot spell United

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without you . If

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this is your first time joining , welcome

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If you're a repeat

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listener . Thank you for your

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loyalty . You

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know , today I want to talk about Independence

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Day . Oh , what a coincidence

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. Today is Independence Day

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, or we also call it the 4th of

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July , in which we celebrate

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with fireworks and

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outdoor eating and all

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that fun stuff as

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it relates to America's independence

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, which is great . But

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, as I mentioned in the past for

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other holidays , how are you explaining

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this to your children ? What

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are you explaining to your children ? How

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are you explaining to your children ? I

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don't think I ever did , to be honest

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with you . The kids just

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knew that you know we were going to go

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see the fireworks and generally

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it's the start of summer and

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so we're just having a good time , but

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never explained the whole reason of

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why we celebrate the 4th of July

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. So hopefully , ladies , you

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will take this opportunity to do

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your research and share

1:24

with your children about Independence

1:27

Day or 4th of July , so

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they just no longer recognize hey

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, it's the great time to watch the fireworks

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, right ? I really understand why

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we celebrate Independence

1:38

Day or 4th of July . Now

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, part two to this is you

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know what about your own Independence

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Day , ladies ? You know

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, let's take America

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out of the equation and let's

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just look at you and talk about your

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Independence , what that means

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. And so I'm just going to go through

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some basic characteristics

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of an independent woman , some

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you may agree with and some you may

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not , and guess what ? That's

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okay , that's what makes the world

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go around . But when you think

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about Independence , you

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also think of a

2:17

strong woman as her ability

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to make decisions on her own

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, without help , because

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when we look at Independence and

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how it's defined , we're

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not relying on anything or anyone

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to help us to get to where we need to go

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in life . In a nutshell , it's

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freedom from the control , influence

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, support , aid or

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the like of others . That's

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what Independence means to you and

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us and me . When it comes to

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being a single mom , you're

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going to have to do some things on your

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own . You're going to have to make some decisions

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on your own . When you

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choose to go the route of

3:00

public assistance , it's not

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meant to be long term . It's meant to be

3:04

short term , until you get your

3:06

feet grounded on

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your goals in life and

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how you want to get there and how you want to

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get your children there or your

3:15

child there . I'm just

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going to go through a list of

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what it means to be

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independent , the importance

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of being independent . It's

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just really , overall , that desire

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of not having anyone control

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you , that freedom , it's

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a great thing , it's a beautiful thing

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. As a mom , you sacrifice yourself

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in order to look after

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you and your children . You learn

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the value of love and sacrifice

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. It's your sufferings

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that give you the strength to get you

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from day to day . I am

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a true witness of that . So

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you have to show unconditional love

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. Then you have to learn to love yourself . Ladies

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, you have to learn to love

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yourself . So many times

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, as a single mom , we get

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so distracted and we forget

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about us . It's the truth . We

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forget about ourselves because

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we're trying to do this for the child . We're trying

4:15

to do that . That's what a real mother

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does . In the midst of failures

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, heartbreaks and setbacks , you

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know how to get up and keep moving . You

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don't sit there and have the pity party Whoa

4:27

, it's me , whoa it's me . No , you keep

4:30

going and your children need to see

4:32

that . But guess what ? You can also

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be soft as well as tough

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. Being tough doesn't mean that you

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are not allowed to show your emotions

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. I'll say that again Being

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tough doesn't mean that you are not

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allowed to show your emotions

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. There are days you are gonna cry

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. There are days you're gonna be like

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, why me ? Why

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? every time I turn around , there's another

4:56

issue , And that's okay

4:59

. That's okay that

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you acknowledge that , but

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you can't stay there . Okay

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, you can have that one day of whoa

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, it's me , why is me ? But

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then you gotta keep it moving

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, not just for you but for your

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children . And then you have

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to realize being a single mom is not

5:18

easy . We're still labeled negatively

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as a single mom . Oh , she's not married

5:23

. Oh , she has a child . Oh

5:25

, she's just sleeping with anybody . You know how

5:28

they think . You know how they judge us

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. You have to remember you're

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a single mom , and not just a

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single mom . Single mom , but a

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strong one . Your opinion

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they will shun it . Because

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you are a single mom . Your achievements

5:44

will be belittled

5:46

and mocked , but you learn

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from the best and you won't

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stop until you get what you want

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. That's why you have goals in life

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. That's what an independence

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does for you . You don't get

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satisfied or complacent in

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where you are in life And

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then you never look back . Regardless

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of what type of relationship you

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have with a child's father , you

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learn from that . And especially if you

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don't have a relationship with him which is

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okay , as long as he's able

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to continue to see the child and be in the

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child's life , it's okay . You

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don't look back on the

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negative parts of your life . You

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learn from them and say you know

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what , i'm not gonna do that again Because

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you can't change it . You have

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to stay positive . At least attempt

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to stay positive . I was there

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. I learned my lesson . Now I'm moving

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on . You have to learn patience

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and faith . So much courage

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and wisdom does not

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come on its own . You

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practice patience in order

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to wait for the good things , and faith

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so that it helps you during

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rough times . And you are

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going to have rough times

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And guess what ? And

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when you know you're gonna experience

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some challenges in your life , it's

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gonna be easier . You're not gonna

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be as stressed about

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it . Yes , there's gonna

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be stress , but you're not gonna be as stressed because

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you knew this day was common . Right

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, It will pass . They all

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do . I look back now

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on some of the challenges and potholes

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I experienced in my life raising

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my children . It wasn't

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that big of a deal . Now that I look

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at it , it just wasn't . I just

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made it a big deal . So you control

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that . You control that . Don't

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let stress control you . That's

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another form of independence . Okay

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, this happened . Okay , all right , and

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we keep it moving , but you don't let

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stress control you . Ladies , you

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control stress . That's

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your independence . Learning

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how to be a good mother

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. Some of those characteristics are

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being protective , loving

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, kind , compassionate

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, courageous and smart

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. A good mom , as

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you're independent , you're making these decisions

8:15

. You're teaching your children

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lessons , letting them

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handle some of life

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situations . Of course

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, not when they're younger . You wanna

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start this after 10

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, experience some life situations

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. Again , that's just my timeframe . You

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don't have to agree with it . That's just

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my timeframe As a single

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, independent mom . You're leading

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by example . Remember , kids

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are constantly watching and

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saying , hey , i learned that

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from my mom . I saw my mom do that

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. I say that I even say that

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today , with what

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I saw my mom do and

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some of her characteristics as

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a strong woman . Now she was married

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, but she's still a strong

9:02

woman . She still displayed those characteristics

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. That makes me who I am

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today And you can

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do that as well . Single mom . Happy

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Independence Day , not just for

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America . But for

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you , single mom , for

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you , you

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can do this . Hold your

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head up high , be confident

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. There definitely is a difference

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between confidence and arrogance

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. When you're confident , that means

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they can't break you . They can

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try , but they can't do it . You

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won't allow it . You know why Because

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you have an independent mindset

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. You make the decision

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, you make the choices . All

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right , i hope you enjoyed today's

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episode of Happy

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Independence Day And

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I hope you will share with another single

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mom who needs to be encouraged

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and motivated . That's

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what this podcast is all about

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And if you like it , share

10:06

it , tell another single mom

10:08

, give me some feedback at

10:10

singlemomsunitedpodcastcom

10:13

or on YouTube . Remember

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to like this episode . I

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would love to hear from you . Enjoy

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the fireworks , love on your

10:23

children , spend time with your children

10:25

And you take care .